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Dangerous Territory	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 4227 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own “Shingeki no Kyojin” and do not make money from this fanfic.

Chapter List
- 27
- 28
- 29
Chapter 28
A Dark Ride

They rode out of Buerglënster, up a steep switchback road, into a forest, only for it to open up to more farmland. As the purple bruising of dusk waned into virulent blackness, Eren pulled out an oil lamp strung on the saddle, struck a match to light it, and held it aloft, brightening the road in front of him with a flicking orange glow. Levi took the map out of Eren’s saddlebag and led him through all the awkward streets of the countryside, with more forks in the road that had to be navigated carefully.
“Right at the fork,” Levi muttered, squinting in the dark. “Yeah, and now a left. You want this road.”
“We should wait to make sure the others catch that. It’s tricky.”
Levi wondered if Eren was paranoid now about getting separated from the group and ending up in more trouble. Surely, he must have gotten reprimanded for riding his horse to death. Now, instead of being so far ahead that they could not even see the Germans, they heard the company singing marching songs, and they needed only to glance over their shoulders to see dozens of lamps in the darkness.
Levi began to get a sharp pain in his ass and lower back. His discomfort was momentarily distracted by Eren behind him, twitching, rocking, unable to keep still, and breathing faster. Levi shook his head, figuring the intense energy of the Pervitin must be kicking in. He ignored it and merely tried to shift himself in the saddle, until he heard Eren make a grunting hiss. Worried that his shifting had hurt him, Levi remained still and simply put up with the ache.
After a few minutes, Eren’s twitching became a little too purposeful, his hips rocking, his breathing getting ragged, and definitely something stiff was rubbing along Levi’s spine.
“Oy. What are you doing?” he asked in annoyance.
“Nothing!” Eren squawked out in humiliation.
“Well, you’re either hiding a carrot, or your dick is hard.”
“No! I … I’m sorry. It just got that way.”
Levi shook his head, but he still felt that stiffness poking into him again and again. “Seriously, stop that.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re poking me in the back, repeatedly. I’m already sore back there.”
“I’m sorry. I can’t get it to go down.”
“Merde! First you’re ready to shoot me, now you’re rutting against me.” Despite his admonishment, Eren kept twitching, and Levi felt another thrust up against his lower back. He growled annoyance. “I said stop it!”
“I’m not trying to do anything, but you’re so warm, and the rocking, back and forth, on the horse, rocking, rocking horse, feels so good.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t know, my mind won’t stop, I’m so sorry, I know you hate it.”
“Yes, it’s disgusting. Get off the damn horse and deal it with.”
“No, you hated that last time.”
“I hate this even more.”
“But I don’t … I can’t … I…”
Eren let out a whimper, and he grabbed Levi’s shoulders, burying his face into his back.
“Let me go! What the hell is wrong with you?”
Eren moaned, “Du fühlst dich so gut an!” You feel so good.
“If you grope me, I will stab you in the leg.”
“I’m not … I’m not … oh nein. Nein! Ich komme! No!”
“What—?”
Just then, Eren’s arms squeezed him in a tense spasm. A whimper pressed tightly on his lips, and a tremble went through his thighs. Then Levi felt wetness on his back.
“Oh fuck, you didn’t!” he sneered.
Eren could not stop shaking, and he sounded ready to sob. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t even touching. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” His nose snuffled. “I don’t like this. I know you hate it, and it’s embarrassing. I don’t want to be like this in front of you. I’m so sorry.”
Levi shook his head. Of all the shitty things! His hand squeezed into a tight fist, clenching until his fingernails threatened to pierce his skin, just so he would not turn around and punch Eren. He needed to calm down. His life depended on not making a scene, not with the Germans close enough to see their lanterns.
“Look,” Levi growled, straining to keep calm. “I know you’re not in your right mind. I’ll try to think of this as if you’re ill, a little boy who’s come down sick. I can forgive what happens when you’re sick, so long as you don’t touch me.”
“I … I won’t. I won’t touch.” He pulled his hands off of Levi, but Eren whimpered as the cold air hit his crotch. “I made a mess.”
“You sure as hell did.”
“Really, I am so sorry,” he muttered. “After all this, I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“Good! Because I’m rethinking all of this.”
Eren gasped in horror. “What? W-Wait, no! Levi—” He began to grab his arm.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Levi snapped, and Eren quickly pulled away. Levi glared out at the darkness of the countryside. “I don’t know if I want to purposely make a man do that. It’s disgusting.”
“But … but it’s natural. All men do this.”
“Exactly! Making myself come is bad enough, but making someone else? Gross!”
“But you are okay with women. What do women do?”
“Moan a lot, get wet inside, and that’s about it. She didn’t make a mess.”
“No, but you were the one making a mess inside her, right?”
Levi said nothing. Suddenly, intimate moments with Petra returned to his mind, nights of passion, her angelic body on the bed, thrusting inside her, whispering her name in adoration. He flinched at the memories of passion, happiness so intense that it now hurt worse than any bullet. It had been ages since he allowed himself to remember the sensuality that had existed between them. With those memories came deep grief of his loss. He would never feel her body again.
“It was a dream with her,” he muttered. “I’d be fighting nightmares with you.”
Eren’s mouth dropped, hurt by that brutal truth. His head sank, and he tried to pull away further from Levi.
Levi closed his eyes, regretting that he had been so honest. He sensed the way Eren’s body slumped in misery. Then Eren suddenly jumped down, stumbling slightly as he landed on his injured leg.
“I hear a river,” he said coldly. “I’ll wash up and be back before the rest of them pass by.” With that, Eren plunged off the road, carrying the lamp with him.
Levi held onto the reins of the horse, staring ahead, thinking about his married life. Eren had feelings for him, and from time to time, Levi thought perhaps he could start again.
Could he really? After love like that, could he give his heart to another? And of all things, to a man who wore the uniform of the men who butchered his wife?
“Petra,” he whispered in a prayer to the night.
The German column approached. A few people shouted out to him, but Levi had no clue what they were saying. Most seemed to be asking where Eren went, but he had no idea how to reply.
Then he saw Jean and Armin riding in Eren’s platoon’s truck. Armin shouted out to him in broken bits of French.
“Eren? Où est-il?” Where is he?
“Il est allé pisser.” He went to take a piss.
“Pissen?”
Levi snorted softly. “Good to know that piss is basically universal.”
The truck rolled by, and other horses followed. Levi reached behind him as his shirt stuck weirdly. It was not that wet, he was sure most of it had soaked Eren’s trousers, but the moist stickiness was a tangible reminder of what their relationship could become. He might like Eren embracing him, he might even be warming up to kisses, but one day Eren might want more.
And Levi was not sure that he could do that with a man, not after everything that happened to him. He still had dark nightmares of pain in his ass and unwanted ejaculations filling him until he felt like bursting.
He shuddered hard at the horrific memories, those idiot soldiers with the mop, Moses apologizing as he was forced at gunpoint to thrust into him, Grützmacher violently raping him over and over again, the feel of semen and blood dripping down his thighs, the burning, the pain, wishing Eren was there, wishing Eren would save him before he cracked.
And he had cracked. He shattered. Wretchedly.
As the last horses passed and the medical truck rumbled by, Levi covered his mouth, finally allowing himself to succumb to the horrors. He kept swallowing his stomach down, refusing to vomit despite the way his whole gut convulsed with memories of dark horror.
As the column continued down the road and the lack of lamps plunged him into darkness, nightmares surged up from the shadows. His shaking grew worse. Invisible touches slithered over his skin, and he slapped them again. The slight pain in his ass from the saddle became bloody tearing from merciless thrusts, and he doubled over to get away from the feeling. Then suddenly, the rain started up again, coming down in fat drops, making his already damp shirt stick to him more, and that spot on his back seemed to grow, swelling, a burst of white dripping all over his skin.
Suddenly, he screamed, ripped his shirt off, and threw it to the ground. He hugged his bare arms as the rain poured down on him, shaking, a dark horror yawning its tooth-filled maw, threatening to swallow him whole.
He could not have the feel of semen on his skin. Not with those memories right there in front of him.
How could he possibly have a relationship with a man after what happened to him?
How was this fair to Eren? He deserved to be loved and pleasured, and while Levi was wavering on the first, he was not sure if he could do the latter.
Levi turned his head up so the rain fell on his face, washing away something salty and hot. Those couldn’t possibly be tears! Why would he cry for some damn Nazi?
“I’m sorry, Eren,” he whispered into the dark. “I just can’t.”
Eren came back with his trousers drenched, although he had tried to ring them out by the riverside. He frowned at the downpour, but at least it would help to hide the fact that he had needed to wash come out of his trousers. He realized the column had already passed, and he pouted. He would need to ride fast to catch up and pull ahead of the group.
Then his lamp shined on Levi sitting on the horse, shirtless, his face pale and severe, his knuckles white with how he gripped the reins. He saw the shirt on the muddy road, and Eren guessed the issue. Luckily, he had moistened his handkerchief, meaning to clean Levi’s back. Originally, he thought how nice it would be to rub the wet cloth on Levi’s pale skin and touch where he had made a mess on him. Instead, he merely handed the damp cloth over.
“Wash up. I’ll get your shirt.”
Levi snatched away the handkerchief and wiped his back, scrubbing it with a determined sneer. Eren watched as he kept vigorously wiping, over and over, as if he was scouring a filthy pot. Sighing with regret, Eren took the shirt and rushed back to the river to wash the sticky spot as well as the mud from the road. Then he hurried back while wringing out the shirt, half thinking that Levi would take the horse and race back to Buerglënster. He was glad to see him still there, but Levi was also still madly scrubbing his back.
“You already washed it away,” Eren whispered, and he gently tugged the handkerchief out of Levi’s fingers. He held out the shirt. “Here. It’s wet, but it’s clean.”
Clean. Levi liked cleanliness. He hated filth, like what had filled him that dark day. He mindlessly pulled the shirt back on, not minding that it was drenched. The wetness let him know that the filth was washed away, and without the filth, the monsters settled back down.
“How about I ride up front now? If I have more problems, it won’t affect you.”
Levi nodded silently. He scooted back, and Eren climbed to the front of the saddle. Unlike before, when Levi held closely around his waist, this time Levi did not touch him at all. He stayed as far back on the saddle as he could, and he spoke not a word.
They rode at a swift canter, bouncing on the saddle, but Eren seemed to be focused now. In minutes, they caught up to the medical truck, and maneuvering between other riders, Eren worked his way back to the front.
Jean shouted out as he passed the truck, “Hey, where’d you go, Jäger?”
“I had to take a shit.”
Franz was riding nearby. “I thought maybe the Jew killed you.”
Eren merely laughed. “Like a toothless puppy could do that!”
Armin looked up from his radio. “Are you okay?”
“Drenched, but doing fine. Wish I was back in uniform. This shirt itches when it’s wet, and the trousers don’t fit right.”
Jean chuckled. “Don’t fit? More like your dick is stupidly big. I bet you were jerking off. Connie keeps running off, groaning like a pig in heat.”
“Hey!” Connie shouted in humiliation. “I can’t help it. It’s the pills. I remember what you did in Paris after you got your hands on some Pervitin.”
“Oh, do you mean those five ladies?” Jean said with a boastful smugness on his face. “You’re just jealous.”
Eren chuckled at their playfulness. “I’ll see you guys later. Try not to fuck farm animals.”
Finally, he pulled ahead and could slow down to a steady trot. The night felt massive and the land seemed like a flat expanse to infinity. Eren liked riding up front and getting some time to himself, yet he was not alone. A wistful smile twitched on his lips as he felt the heat from Levi on his back.
“Are you okay now?” he asked in wary concern.
“No!” he snapped, still refusing to touch Eren and angry at himself for panicking like that.
Eren nodded gloomily. “Unroll the blanket. I don’t want you to catch a cold in this rain.”
Levi pulled the rolled up blanket off where it was roped to the back of the saddle. He flipped it out, wrapped it around himself, and pulled his flat cap down to hide from the damp September night as they continued onward.
They rode through empty fields, dark forests, and occasionally passed through villages with street lamps, churches, shops, and restaurants. The villagers ignored Eren and Levi, dressed in their civilian clothes, but minutes later they would see the many lamps of the German army. Some civilians cowered back. Others angrily shouted at the Germans in both Luxembourgish and French.
“Voici, la fière armée d’Allemagne, fuyant comme des enfants.” Behold, the proud army of Germany, fleeing like children.
“Lafe fort bei Är Mammen.” Run away to your mommies.
“Sortez d’ici, espèces de sales boches.” Get out of here, you filthy Kraut animals.
“Gitt d’Häll aus Lëtzebuerg.” Get the hell out of Luxembourg.
In another village, the residents lined the dark streets, holding lamps to light their way, and shouting Sieg Heil. At first, Eren smiled, thinking this village must have supported them, until he realized they were flipping the end of their outstretched arms with a limp wrist in a flamboyantly homosexual way, or some just thrust their fists at them, laughing at they gave the ironic shout.
Hail Victory … but the Allies had won this fight.
In yet another small village, they heard a fight breaking out in the ranks of the Germans, and someone opened fire. Eren paused his horse and turned around. He heard someone shout that a villager had thrown a rock, but a few barking shouts from the officers got them to settle down and continue their fast march south. They left that village with the residents jeering them.
The night dragged on, and soon none of the villages had anyone still awake. The rain finally stopped, leaving the world muddy and sparkling the lantern light. Levi flipped the droplets off his flat cap and put it back on his head to keep it warm.
“By the way,” said Eren. “Where did you get the hat?”
“From a priest.”
“A priest?” Eren cried out in surprise. “Where did you find a priest?”
Levi rolled his eyes. “They tend to be in churches,” he said wryly. He heard Eren chuckle softly, and the boyish sound stung his heart. That was the sound he had grown to like, but now he felt angry and betrayed. “He sheltered me after you left, got me food, water, and gave me money to take a train to Antwerp so I could find a ship to America.”
Eren dropped his head, realizing he really had abandoned Levi with nothing, and he almost lost him for good, leaving on such a sour note. “What happened?”
Levi grimly stared out into the darkness. “I made the wrong choice.”
If he had stayed in the church in Fischbach, he could have waited until the Germans passed, and then he truly would have been a free man. Instead, he panicked and made a rash decision.
It was like all of his training had been forgotten.
Levi shook his head. He had almost thought he was finally getting some luck: first, surviving the massacre in the dungeon; second, being able to get away from the Germans; third, finding priests in this strange country who spoke French and were amiable to Jews. Now, all that luck had so quickly reversed.
Eren muttered, “It … It’s nice.”
“Hmm?”
“The hat.” He turned around on the saddle to look Levi over. “It looks good on you.”
Levi sensed a change in Eren. “Have you calmed down?”
“I think so. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, at least I got my shirt cleaned. I wanted to do that at the Reeves’ house.”
“I mean, everything. Shouting at you, pulling a gun on you. That was not me!” He glared into the encroaching shadows. “I know you were just rescuing that girl. You were doing what I couldn’t do, what I knew went against all of my training, and for a while, that was all I could think about: my training. All I had learned in Napola, in Kriegsschule, all my training, all the things they pounded into my head, it all swelled up. For a moment, I didn’t care what those men did, or what Milieus was about to do, because those were just foreign women.”
“What does that have to do with it?”
“One of my instructors in Kriegsschule taught us that a soldier does not kill another soldier unless they are a threat to das Volk und das Vaterland. The people and the country,” he clarified. “If an officer catches them having their way with women, so long as the woman is not a German, we … we look the other way,” he said with a disgusted whisper.
“You let them?” Levi cried out with a sneer.
“I mean, you could tell them not to, but they would not get into trouble. Hitler even said, soldiers cannot be persecuted for actions against enemy civilians. I was trained, if I see it, let the men have their fun. If they fought hard, they deserved it, and the women should feel honored at the chance to bear a strong Aryan child.”
“Hell no!” Levi shouted. “Women are not some prize you get just because you didn’t die in battle. They’re not something you deserve. They’re people you respect, honor, and a man should feel privileged if a woman actually gives a damn about him.”
“I feel that way too, but that simply isn’t how I was taught. Being thrust back into that sort of mind, it makes me sick … and it reminds me what my training was like.” Eren stared out grimly into the shadows. “It shows how far I’ve fallen from the soldier I’m supposed to be.”
“Bollocks! That cocked up mentality they were trying to bash into your brain is not being a soldier. That’s being a bastard and an asshole. I would have punched a soldier in the face if he thought that way. You’re better than that.”
A reluctant smile came to Eren’s lips. “That cocked up mentality was meant to make me better than some French soldier, especially a Jewish one.”
“If you were taught that it’s okay to let a woman be raped just because she was born on one side of an arbitrary borderline, then obviously there wasn’t a shred of manhood left in the tiny dicks of your instructors.”
Eren laughed softly. “I wish I could go back and tell them exactly those words.” He glanced around his shoulder and softly gazed at how the lamp lit up Levi’s face. “I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you. I never should have pulled a gun on you.”
Levi quietly admitted, “It’s not the first time you’ve pointed a gun at me, but it is the first time I seriously thought you might use it.”
Eren’s mouth dropped. “I never would have—”
“You shot one of my friends yesterday, and you’re hyped up on some drug,” Levi snapped. “I’m not putting anything past you.”
Eren’s whole face flinched, pained that Levi would use that against him so soon. He faced forward again, scowling as the scene replayed in his mind, Abel’s glasses, the kick of the gun, the splatter of blood. He shook his head, trying to clear away that nightmare.
“That’s not fair,” he whispered, feeling like he had been punched in the gut.
“Do you know what’s not fair?” Levi said, his voice rising, but not loud enough for the rest of the company to hear him. “Finally being free after months of slave labor, thinking maybe I can actually get the hell out of here, finding people willing to help, offering me food, shelter, a ride, a hat,” he said, pulling the hat off and shaking it, “and then being forced right back, all because I owe a debt.” Levi glowered into the damp darkness. “Life isn’t fair,” he muttered.
Eren pulled the horse to a halt. Quietly, with a saddened voice, he said, “Get off the horse.”
“What, are you going to make me walk now?”
“Get off, and step aside. Hide in the bushes.”
Levi’s brow creased deeply. “Are you abandoning me again?”
“Yes. For good. Hide until we’re past, then run back to the last village. Find your freedom.”
“They’ll kill you.”
“Maybe,” he conceded, “but at least I die knowing you’re free.”
“Fuck that!” Levi folded his arms and stubbornly remained where he was. “I won’t be the cause of your death.”
“And I don’t want to be the cause of yours,” Eren insisted, spinning around on the saddle and showing the anguish in his face, his eyes lined red with grief. “Please, leave now, while the pills aren’t affecting my head.”
“Obviously, they still are, because you’re not thinking straight.”
“I’m thinking about you!” He began to reach toward Levi’s shoulder, but the Jew yanked away roughly. “Please, Levi, get out of here while you can—”
“You said two more days,” he cut in. Levi looked up at Eren, and the moon peaked out from the clouds to light an argent glint in his narrow eyes. “You said you would get me out of Metz in two days. I believed you in that moment. Can I still trust you?”
Eren struggled between grief as he realized he stole Levi’s freedom just to save himself, and relief as he saw a little of that trust again in Levi’s eyes. “It might be more than two days,” he admitted, “but I will get you out of there, even if I die trying.”
“Don’t talk about dying. It’ll bring misfortune.” He looked back down the road at the dozens of lamps swaying. “They’re about to catch up.”
Eren tapped his heels on the horse’s sides. “I’m sorry. Everything. Everything about today. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” Levi snapped. “You’re still on those drugs, so you’ll probably cock up again before the night is done. I’d rather forgive you all at once rather than over and over again, and frankly, I don’t feel like forgiving you when I’m still angry.”
Eren kept his mouth shut as they continued on.
Another hour passed with only the sway of the horse and the sound of crickets and hooves. What time was it? After midnight? Levi felt the bags under his eyes growing heavier, and he let out a loud yawn that seemed to get swallowed up in the shadows of hilly farmlands. Not thinking, he rested his head on Eren’s back as he gazed out at the darkness and fought against sleep.
“Are you really planning to push it all the way to France?”
“We have no choice,” said Eren. “Armin mentioned about a full retreat. The Allies are going to arrive in Luxembourg City tomorrow morning and take over without even a fight.”
“That priest mentioned something about that,” he muttered.
Eren sneered at the idea. Four years ago, Germans had died to take Luxembourg; now, they were handing it over to the Allies like it did not matter. He could tell himself that it was a tactical retreat, and Metz would hold the line in the Moselle region, but the Ardennes had fallen apart. The Germans were racing back to the Westwall to prepare for an invasion. No wonder the civilian population felt bold enough to mock them.
The rocking of the horse, the warmth of Eren’s back, the darkness, the hypnotic clomping of hooves, night birds singing, occasionally a river running near enough to the road that he could hear the babbling and chirruping of frogs: it all blended. Levi’s emotions weighed heavy on him, and he felt too weary to even care anymore. His eyelids grew heavy, and he knew he was slumping most of his weight onto Eren’s back, his head nodding.
“Be careful,” Eren warned, causing Levi to jolt up. “If you fall asleep, you could slip off the horse and hurt yourself.”
“I won’t slip,” he grumbled.
“You can hold on tighter.”
Levi wanted to, but he didn’t. He was still mad, and hugging around Eren’s waist felt too nice.
As the night dragged on, Eren seemed to have endless energy, while Levi began to doze off again. Suddenly, the horse came to a stop, and Levi jolted up with half a snore in his nostrils.
“Are we there?”
“No, but I’m seriously afraid you might fall.” Eren got off the horse, shoved Levi up on the saddle, and climbed back on behind him.
“What the hell?” Levi cried out, trying to squirm out of the way. “No! No, you’re not—”
“If you’re in front, I can hold onto you if you fall asleep.”
“Fuck that! Not after what happened last time.”
“That was an accident. I’m … I’m better now.”
“I don’t trust you. You’ll probably try to fondle me again.”
“I won’t, really, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for all of it. I was out of my head.” He glanced around his shoulder at the dozens of orange glows from the rest of the company. “The pills hit many of them like that. Jean said Connie ran into the woods many times to release himself, and I heard that earlier today, two men began to … what is the word … wichsten … to touch your, you know, Schwanz.”
“It’s called wanking, tossing, or jerking off.”
“Jerking? That’s a good one. Yes, they were jerking in their saddles and nearly fell. They had to be sent to the medical truck because they could not stop jerking, not for an instant, and they released over and over until the medics worried they may jerk themselves to death.”
Levi sneered in disgust at the idea. “Is it seriously that bad?”
“For some. I didn’t react this way when I took the pills in Anzio. Then again, there was no one I was interested in,” he said with a private smile down at Levi.
“Well, if you feel your dick getting hard again, jump off the damn horse. I really will stab you in the leg next time you rut against me.”
Eren lowered his gaze in humiliation. “I am so sorry about that.”
“Stop saying sorry. I told you, save it for later.”
They rode along in more silence. Eren kept an arm around Levi, and when Levi leaned back a little, that warm chest was right there. Despite everything earlier, he felt safe in Eren’s arms, and his eyes began to drift.
“I don’t see how you can forgive me,” Eren said, yanking Levi out of sleep again.
“What? Oh. Forgive you.” Levi yawned and stretched in reluctance. “Yeah, well, I know what it’s like to do stupid stuff while on drugs. When I first went to London, a few of the men I worked with thought it would be funny to take the new guy to an opium den. I had no clue what it was, thought it was just part of the job. Some Chinese man gave us all pipes, we smoked this … stuff. Next thing I knew, it was three days later, I was in the middle of a pile of sleepy bodies wearing a flapper dress with a monkey sitting on my face.”
Eren giggled slightly at imagining it.
“I never wanted to be like that again. So I understand, sometimes you take a pill or smoke a pipe, and you do stupid shit. Sometimes, you don’t even remember what stupid shit you did.”
“I rather hope I forget all of this,” Eren muttered.
“I will make sure you remember so you can apologize.”
“And will you forgive me?” Eren asked hopefully.
Levi sighed, but he leaned back into Eren’s chest again. “Yeah, I probably will.”
Eren looked ready to cry in relief. He began to reach forward, wanting to touch Levi’s face, but his fingers reluctantly pulled back.
“I’m glad to see that you’re sane enough to not touch me. Maybe I can trust you after all.”
“Trust me?” asked Eren.
Just then, Levi wiggled around and slumped down on the saddle. “Can you hold onto me without doing anything weird? I’m seriously ready to fall asleep.”
Eren helped to wrap the blanket around Levi, but also a little around himself to hide the fact that his arm was around the small man, holding him securely. “I’ve got you. Rest while you can.”
Levi’s eyes were already pulling downward. The long day of riding, walking, and fighting had caught up with him. He felt his consciousness slipping quickly.
“If you touch me … I’ll … stab you … in … leg.”
Eren felt Levi practically faint in his arms, slumping so suddenly, so heavily, he needed both arms to hold him securely on the saddle. Luckily, this stretch of the road was long, mostly flat, empty except for the orange light of his lamp and shadows from the horse. Being sneaky, Eren leaned over just enough to place his lips on top of Levi’s head, and he whispered into his hair.
“Schlaf gut und träum süß, mein Lieber.” Sleep well and sweet dreams, my dear.
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Thank you, Actoplum, for my first fan art for this story. It’s based on the last chapter, “I’ll be saying sorry until I’m old and gray.” It’s so sweet! Go show some love to the artist on Twitter or Tumblr. - https://twitter.com/actoplum/status/1318641486192398338
Kriegsschule – These were military schools used for basic officer training in Germany. All Wehrmacht officers in World War II had to pass through a Kriegsschule during their training.
Opium Dens – The “injection sites” of the 19th century, opium dens were popular across Europe, America, and Canada, with the United States alone importing tens of thousands of pounds of the stuff. The dens were mostly run by Chinese immigrants. They provided the pipe and oil lamp, as well as a place to sleep off the effects. Some had entertainment like musicians, animal tricks, and prostitutes. America and England banished opium dens in the 1870s, driving them underground. Rather than lavish Oriental palaces of pleasure, these were dark hidden corners of the shipping yards with the smell of dead fish along with the smoke of opium. Whereas opium dens took care of their customers as they lay in a drug daze, these underground speakeasies bred crime, and without regulation it led to overdose and deaths. Meanwhile, the haughty elite, thinking they did the world a favor, were happily shooting up heroin and gulping down laudanum, both of which are simply opium. Much like the disastrous “War on Drugs,” which slapped addicts with laws rather than offering medical help and providing safe spaces with controlled amounts of drugs overseen by professionals, the Victorian laws that banished opium dens did absolutely nothing to lower the number of addicts; it only increased the mortality rate.
Flat cap – In the first half of the 20th century, it was considered rude for men to not wear a hat in public. The working class preferred the flat cap. Affordable, made of wool so it kept the rain off, as well as being rather stylish, coming in many colors and designs, the flat cap spread from the working class up to nobility, particularly when the royal family goes out on hunting trips. These have made a comeback in the 21st century, and both my husband and I own a few. I absolutely love to wear them since it is very rainy in Oregon, and we do not use umbrellas. (Only tourists use umbrellas here.)
The Legality of Rape in the Nazi Military
In the Barbarossa Decree of May 1941 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbarossa_decree), Hitler declared, “Regarding actions committed by personnel of the Wehrmacht or its retinue against enemy civilians, there is no obligation to prosecute, even where the deed is at the same time a military crime or misdemeanor.” This decree freed soldiers to do basically anything they wanted to civilians. They could shoot them as target practice, they could enslave them in factories or building roads, and it allowed soldiers to rape women without any consequences.
It is estimated that 10 million girls and women were raped by Nazis in Russia alone, and 1 million of these victims gave birth to a child. In some Ukrainian villages, Nazi soldiers went through and systematically raped every single woman and girl there. Sadly, I had an elderly mentor who escaped from Ukraine to Canada as a small child, after watching from a cupboard as soldiers burst into his family’s home, shot his father, and gang raped his mother to death. (He grew up to dedicate his life to God, became the head minister of my mother’s pacifist church, and his wife was my private Bible teacher in my teens. I may not have stuck with that religion, but I did respect him.)
Rape became so prevalent in the German military, and with it venereal diseases, that the Third Reich set up state-run brothels. In France, Paris provided lots of existing brothels, which were cleaned up and “Nazified.” At first, soldiers were granted “free prostitution” (a great euphemism for sex slavery) so long as they used a condom and actively tried to prevent venereal diseases. Officers were forbidden from going to such low-brow areas, so handpicked women—vetted to make sure they were not spies—were brought to hotels where the officers stayed. In 1941, General von Brauchitsch suggested that weekly visits with a brothel prostitute should be mandatory, as it was believed that frequent sex made a soldier stronger, and refraining from sex built up disabling weaknesses as well as leading to homosexuality. (Lucky for Eren, his suggestion was not made into a requirement.)
On the Eastern Front, over 500 brothels were set up by the Third Reich, where around 34,000 women were forced into sex slavery. Here, it was not professional prostitutes like in Paris, but kidnapped girls. These girls and young women were treated as property, and “Hure für Hitlers Truppen” (Whores for Hitler’s Troops) was tattooed on their wrists. At first, most of the sex slaves were Jews, but in 1942 it became illegal for a German to have sex with a Jew, so the women were sent to concentration camps, where many either died or were once again enslaved in the secret brothels run inside the camps.
After 1942, the Third Reich used local Polish and Russian women. These women, between the ages of 15-25, were hunted down “military kidnapping raids,” dragged through the streets of their villages by the hair, and raped repeatedly until they became “docile.” (A sick way of describing a woman becoming catatonic from trauma.) Older or unattractive women were given the chance to run away, only to be shot at as target practice, and after the woman could no longer run, soldiers would lob grenades at her for a few sick laughs. Average-looking women were set up in the local brothels, while particularly pretty young girls were shipped to Germany, where there were more state-run brothels around military schools. Young soldiers and trainees were urged to go to these places, to see the young, beautiful foreign girls and have their manhood reaffirmed, in the belief that it would make them strong, confident in their masculinity, and more eager to fight on the Eastern Front.
You can read more about it here, but I warn you, this is disturbing in some parts. - https://uncensoredhistory.blogspot.com/2012/08/rape-by-german-and-waffen-ss-soldiers.html
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Dangerous Territory