Fight Me, Bite Me | By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3 |
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure. |
Chapter 29
What is Submissive?
At last, Gray opened his apartment and the two walked in. "Home sweet home," he said, feeling awkward.Walking in here, knowing what was about to happen, left him with a lot of anticipation, and also some nervousness. It had been a while since he and Natsu had had sex. Now, Natsu also wanted this with no protection.
When was the last time he had come inside a person without a contraceptive? Probably not since that one lady who made him sick. At least now, he was clean, and they knew Natsu was healthy. It was safe to do this, but it still made Gray uncertain. So much could go wrong, and so much could make this the best day yet.
"So, um … do you wanna just head to the bedroom? Ah, but first … a drink? Are you thirsty? I can make tea. Unless you don't want tea. It's cliché to ask a guest if they want tea, right? Not that you're a guest!"
Natsu chuckled at Gray's awkwardness. "You're nervous."
Gray wanted to protest, but he realized Natsu could probably smell the truth. "I don't usually plan something like this. It just sort of happens."
Natsu strode up to him and slid his arms around Gray. "So let it happen." He kissed Gray firmly and pulled his waist in closer. He felt the ice wizard reciprocate until their tongues lightly licked one another. "How about we try something special, something to celebrate us being a couple again? I mean, I know you didn't break up with me, but … I wanna celebrate. I wanna do something special for you. My way of saying sorry for being a total jerk."
Gray smirked and ran his hands up and down Natsu's arms. "Your apology last night was pretty damn good."
Natsu blushed at that, but he looked up firmly. "I want to do more. I put you through a lot, I really stressed you out, so I want to do something special, something just for you."
Gray gulped as his heart began to speed up. "What did you have in mind?"
Natsu hesitated on saying the words. It was not an easy thing to ask, because he knew how challenging this would be for him personally. Still, as he lifted his eyes to Gray again, he asked it firmly, determined to see this challenge through to the end, no matter how difficult.
"Show me how to act submissive."
Gray stared blankly, and a single word breathed out in shock. "What?"
"Teach me. I … I've never done something like that, so I don't even know what to do, but I know…" He blushed as he looked away. "I know it's something you want. From the very start, you thought I was a submissive."
"But you keep insisting you aren't," Gray pointed out.
"I'm not, but I can give it a try. I … I might like it. Or I might not. I won't know until I try, right?"
Natsu hesitantly lifted his eyes to Gray, but that face was too conflicted to read properly. Was Gray angry, worried, upset, scared, happy, excited, aroused? His jaw was dropped and his brow tight. What did it mean? What was he thinking?
"I want to treat you, Gray. You've been so good, keeping me safe for two weeks, even when I didn't want to be that careful. You probably would have been celibate all two weeks if it was up to you."
"That was the initial plan, idiot."
"Exactly. So, after you had to cater to how selfish I was, it's time for me to do the same. I want to let you do whatever you want. Absolutely anything. Have me in any way you want. I want to be all yours tonight. Your bitch. And, if I have to be…" Natsu gulped slightly. "…your slave."
"Not my slave," Gray said sternly. He cupped Natsu's chin and forced him to look up. "My submissive. Big difference."
"How?"
"Being a slave is just one form of submission. I guess I never explained this, did I?" Gray realized he never explained anything at all to Natsu. The poor guy only knew about BDSM from social stereotypes and jokes whispered around the guild. "In general, there are three types of submissive partners. The slave needs to be controlled. Sexual gratification doesn't come into play, only the need to be dominated. Then there's the psychological submissive, where the act of submitting is pleasure in itself, and sex either can happen, or doesn't have to. That's not you, either. The third type is the immediate submissive, where the acts done while submitting—being restrained, being spanked, being humiliated—are enhancements to the eventual act of sex, and being subservient, following orders without question, doesn't always have to happen. That's more of what you are. You don't need to be hurt."
"I need to be restrained."
"That's a phobia manifesting itself, not a craving. Do you love getting tied up so much that you can't enjoy sex without it?"
"Um, no," Natsu said, thinking about it. "I wanna eventually get to the point where I can hold you through sex without needing to be tied up."
"Exactly. The bondage and pain are highlights to kinky sex, not mandatory for pleasure. So in that respect, you're not a slave submissive. Therefore, if you don't like being a slave, then I won't make you one."
"But if you want—"
"I don't need a slave, Natsu. I'm not that sort of Dominant," he snapped. "What I want is to please you, not torment you. I don't want a slave, but a lover who will let me have that element of control that I need to feel. It's not me stealing your freedom. It's you giving your independence away freely and willingly because you want to please me, and because you know I will make damn sure that I please you. That's what you want, right? To willingly let me control you, even if just for one night?"
"Yes," he whispered, still shuddering at the thought.
Gray tenderly stroked Natsu's hair. Uncertainty and fear made Gray want to sympathize with the wild Dragon Slayer, but that mental discomfort was also arousing. Natsu was venturing into the unknown, all because he was this determined to please Gray. That form of love touched Gray deep in his heart.
"Realize one thing, right here and right now," Gray said firmly. "I will never do something you don't want. It's why we have safewords. If you're truly uncomfortable, use them. Even if I hurt you—and I will give you pain—if it's ever too much, say those words. I can't read your mind, so you need to communicate with me. You retain full and complete freedom through those safewords. They put you in charge, because I absolutely have to obey them. You don't necessarily have to obey me, but I have to obey those words and what they mean: not so much, and stop immediately. Yellow and Red. Everything else we do is me getting pleasure by knowing what I'm doing is giving you pleasure."
Gray cupped Natsu's cheek with his hand. His thumb traced the Dragon Slayer's mouth. Natsu parted his lips. He wanted that thumb inside his mouth. He wanted to taste it, lick Gray's skin, savor the sweat of his hand, and suck on his fingers. He knew how that turned Gray on, and he wanted that. However, Gray moved his thumb away and pulled his hand back. Natsu wanted to whine. He looked up at Gray, silently begging for more. Gray just looked down at him and chuckled with amusement.
"Or taking away that pleasure. That excites me too, because I know when I take the pleasure away from you, you're gonna like it twice as much when I give it to you again later. Isn't that true?" He waited, but Natsu looked dazed. Quietly and coldly, he ordered, "Answer me, bitch."
Natsu's eyes snapped open at the command. "Yes," he breathed out, hardly even thinking.
"Good dragon," Gray praised. Natsu felt a thrill rushing through him at the praise. He had felt like this before, the first time Gray made him wear the collar.
"C-collar," he stuttered, his mind still whirling.
"I'll use it when I want. Tonight is about you pleasing me, right?"
"Right…"
"So you don't get to pick what I do. You can't order me. All you can do is obey and say Yellow or Red. And take pleasure in this," he urged. "If there's no pleasure, there's no purpose in it, and that won't make me happy. What is your mission tonight?"
His mission? "To please you?"
"And?"
"And to … to…" Natsu drew a blank.
"Idiot. I just said it. To take pleasure in what we're doing. I'll help you through it. I'll teach you, and we'll even experiment. I've never done the things I want to do with you, so it'll be new to me as well."
"So you'll tell me what you want?" Natsu asked with hopefulness.
"First, what do you want out of this?"
"Out of it?" Natsu thought about that "At least for tonight, it doesn't matter."
"Of course it does. It matters to me! I need to know."
"Oh." Natsu considered his expectations. "I don't need to come. I don't think I even need sex. I want to know what you want, and I want to see if I like your idea of how I should be submissive to you. Sex would be awesome, of course—"
"Then say so," Gray encouraged. "Say what you want. I won't let you tell me what to do once we start, so you need to tell me now."
"I … I want you to train me, and then I want…" What do I actually want this time? "I want to be restrained. I want you to beat the darkness out of me. Then, I want you inside me. I wanna feel you in me, just you, no barriers tonight."
It was like he had requested earlier. No barriers. No condoms. Skin against skin. Dammit, but Gray wanted to thrust into him right now and fulfill that wish. He had to hold himself back. First, he had a dragon to train.
"If you want to learn how to truly and fully submit to me…" He chuckled softly with a glint of mischief in his silver-blue eyes. "Oh, I can definitely teach you that."
Those eyes looked at him so closely, Natsu felt the stare deep in his bones, in his blood, heating his veins and shivering his muscles. That stare alone made him want to fall to his knees and admit defeat. Gray had never looked at him quite like this before.
"First, you need to be in the right frame of mind," Gray explained. "For starters, you are not a slave. You are not worthless. You are not something I hate. Even if I insult you and hurt you—and I will—you are my beloved boyfriend. Don't ever forget that. What you are is submissive. You exist to pleasure and please me. You are mine! Your life, your breath, your soul, every shred of your existence, belongs to me tonight. I control everything about you. I give you permission to speak, to walk, to move, to pee, to come. Everything! You do not speak unless I say so. You keep your eyes down and await my desires. This is about you denying yourself pleasure while I take pleasure in you. It only works if I know for certain that you are just as pleased with what I do, or what I don't do. I won't let you come, and you must like that. I may not allow you to use the toilet, and you will love holding it as long as you can for me. Even when it's uncomfortable, you will enjoy it, knowing I'll make it even better when I finally do allow you to come. I will humiliate you, and you will endure it because you know I'm taking pleasure in watching you suffer. I will hurt you, and you will handle the pain knowing that pleasure lies on the other side. I will order you to please me, and you will do everything eagerly, attentively, and take pleasure in knowing how aroused this makes me. For tonight, your mission is to obey and enjoy every minute of serving me. In return…" Those stormy blue eyes pierced harder with wry amusement. "I will fuck your ass so hard, you won't be able to sit for a week without feeling the burn."
If everything else did not get Natsu aroused, that promise sure did.
"Your mentality is to please me. Obeying me pleases me. You cannot please me in any way except what I instruct. I won't be happy if you do anything I don't command."
"What do you mean?" Natsu pouted.
"You may want to kiss me. Don't! I might order you to kiss me, or I might not want it."
"You don't like to kiss?" Natsu asked, tilting his head in confusion.
"That's not the point. The thing that will pleasure me is giving you pain, discomfort and restraint. We've done this all along: tying you up, spanking you, torturing you with ice or by making you have to pee. Humiliation is just another form of psychological discomfort. You've been giving up control since the beginning, Natsu."
"I'm not submissive!" he snapped. "I … I mean … I wanna learn how to be."
"Idiot. Giving up control is submitting to me. Allowing me to hit you is submitting to me. Pleasing me at the discomfort of your body and mind is submitting to me." He saw that Natsu was looking stubborn. "It's fine. Tonight, I'll teach you how I want you to submit to me. Up until now, it's been on your terms. You're more in control that I am," he admitted, rolling his eyes slightly. "If you want to fully please me tonight, then we start right now. Kneel!"
Natsu almost shouted, an instinct to being ordered around by the Ice-Make wizard. However, he slammed him lips closed and flopped to his knees.
"Wrong. All wrong. Get up."
He grumbled, but Natsu stood back up.
This time, Gray grabbed a handful of Natsu's hair. The Dragon Slayer cried out, thrashing, but Gray tightened his hold. He yanked Natsu until they were face-to-face. He stared hard, not hateful but … demanding, until Natsu stopped resisting. As Gray kept staring, Natsu felt a change within himself. He had felt something similar when he faced Gildarts on Tenrou Island. Now, it wasn't fear. It was … something else. Was this submission? Slowly, Natsu's eyes lowered.
"Whatever you're feeling right now, this is what you should feel as I tell you to kneel." Gray released the pink hair. "Keep your eyes down. No eye contact unless I order it."
Natsu was beginning to wonder how this could pleasure him at all. Still, feeling small before Gray made his heart race. That meant something inside of him actually liked being reduced to obeying commands.
Softer, but still with a voice filled with domination, Gray ordered, "Kneel."
Natsu dropped to his knees, staring at Gray's feet. He felt cold, like winter had just defeated summer. It was the season of ice now, of chill, of freezing things, immobilizing them, until all was white and pure. Natsu wanted to surrender, to put away the smoky darkness and the fierce burning of shame, those flames of the past that scorched his soul. He wanted to give up all of that and rest fully in the hands of Gray. He would let Gray be in control. Gray wouldn't let him fall. He would clear away the darkness until everything shined pure white like snow.
Natsu sighed, not sure why this felt comforting—the idea of surrendering to that damned ice princess stripper was absolutely appalling in his mind—but right now it was almost like this wasn't Gray Fullbuster at all. This was someone else. This was a man who supported him, a man who cared for him so deeply he would purge the darkness, no matter what he had to do to heal Natsu's soul. This was his boyfriend, his lover, his owner … his kainushi!
"Kainushi?" he whispered.
It was scary. This feeling was new, and it made his heart race. Just as he felt like he might lose himself in the fear, Natsu felt a hand on his head, and although he could not bring himself to raise his eyes, just knowing Gray was there was enough to ease the trembling.
"Surrender all your darkness to me. No one will touch you but me. No one will hurt you but me. You are mine, and I won't let anyone else have you."
He was Gray's. Gray's bitch.
Instead, Gray leaned over and whispered into his ear. "My beloved."
Something new surged in Natsu. Buoyed by that word, he would brave the feeling of surrendering, something he could never do to another wizard, or an enemy; however, to Gray—only to Gray—Natsu could fall back and know his boyfriend would hold him up. They were rivals, but they were equals. When Natsu needed to fall back, he could always rest assured that Gray would carry on. Now, the ice wizard would carry them both through the battlefield of love.
"Strip off your clothes." Natsu hurriedly obeyed Gray's order. "Stay on your knees. You're not allowed to get up until I tell you to."
Natsu's forehead crunched up. "Do you like seeing me on my knees?"
"Everything I order will be something I like. Now, no more talking. Be a good dragon and fetch your collar."
Natsu remained on his knees and crawled over the floor to the large trunk. He opened it and peered inside. It was the first time he ever really searched through the trunk of sex toys, and Gray had quite a collection. Some devices, like the handcuffs and riding crop, were obvious. Others, Natsu had no clue what they could be used for.
Part of Natsu could hardly help but wonder how many of these Gray had used on other partners.
However, right on top was the collar, seated in a place of honor. Natsu lifted it and looked at the writing along the sides: Natsu, and Bitch. This white leather collar was Gray's gift to him, something made only for Natsu, something that tied him to Gray and made him belong only to his kainushi.
While holding the collar with one hand, he crawled back to Gray and looked up at him subserviently. Gray's mouth was dropped in overwhelming emotions. He could hardly breathe as he shivered at the erotic scene of Natsu fetching his collar. From his lower position, Natsu clearly saw how aroused it made the ice wizard.
"Th- … that's good," Gray stuttered. He shook his head to straighten out his emotions. "Good dragon. Hand it here." Natsu gave the collar over. Gray opened it, wrapped it around Natsu's neck, and locked the small padlock with his tiny key. He held the key up for Natsu to see. "So long as I have this key, you are mine. You're my bitch—no," he smiled, "my beloved until I release you."
"I don't ever want you to release me," Natsu whispered, shivering deep in his heart as he sank into Gray's thralldom.
Gray felt warm hearing that, but he lightly bopped Natsu on the nose. "No talking," he reminded gently. "Now, something is missing." Gray smirked slyly as he tapped his chin, pretending to think while his eyes drank up Natsu's body. "You're not decorated enough."
Natsu began to ask, "What do you mean?" However, before a full syllable could be uttered, Gray pressed a finger to his lips, silencing him.
"There's one other thing I got especially for you to wear." Gray walked over to the trunk and pulled out a small leather ring. Natsu's eyes widened. The cock ring!
Gray knelt in front of Natsu and carefully wrapped Natsu's cock and balls with the ring, securing it at a comfortable width. He gave a slow stroke up the shaft, making it grow a little longer.
"Much better," he whispered. "One more thing." Gray pulled out the leash and showed it to Natsu. "Can I use this?"
Natsu looked down at it. The last time Gray used that, it was to make Natsu act like an animal, and the proud Dragon Slayer had not liked it at all. That was why Gray was asking this time. It was an item put on a no-use list, but still something Gray wanted to try. Natsu put aside what he personally thought for the moment. Tonight, he wanted to give Gray anything he desired, so long as Natsu could handle it. Discomfort, aversion, and humiliation were all part of the game. Silently, Natsu nodded to allow the leash.
Gray let out a breath he had been holding. He wanted to pull out everything he had ever wanted to use, but felt too constrained to make Natsu deal with them. As if this was the one and only time he would ever have the opportunity, he wished to indulge in everything.
He clasped the leash onto the ring around the white collar and stepped back, holding the end of the leash. Natsu stayed on his knees, collared, naked, animalistic, with a leash that bound him to Gray. The ice wizard had no idea how broadly he was grinning, lost in pure delight by the spectacle of his tamed dragon.
Natsu gazed up and saw that smile. He could tell Gray was really enjoying himself, and somehow that was enough. So long as he pleased Gray, he could put up with the humiliation.
Suddenly, Gray cupped both of Natsu's cheeks in his hands. He tilted the pink head up, bent down, and kissed Natsu on the forehead.
"Thank you," he whispered breathlessly.
That bolstered Natsu's desire to do more, to obey his kainushi, to be the submissive dragon Gray had been wanting since probably the very beginning.
"When I see you like this…" Gray's eyes flicking to the collar, the leash, and the cock ring. "…there's so much I want to do, it scares me."
Natsu began to open his mouth, but he remembered the rule of no talking.
"Speak," Gray granted.
Natsu swallowed his dry throat before he could utter anything. "Do anything. Doesn't matter. This one time, I'll obey anything." He hesitated before correcting himself. "Almost anything."
Gray smiled at that little bit of independence Natsu still grasped on to, and he stroked down the spiky pink hair. "I wouldn't make you do anything I know you can't. I want to take care of you … my beloved dragon," he whispered with such passion, it burned Gray's heart. No one but the Fire Dragon Slayer had ever made him feel like this. "I want to do things that will please you."
Natsu shook his head. "This one time, do things that please you. It doesn't matter what it is, Gray. Your darkest desires—I want to see them!"
Gray looked worried, even terrified of the darkness within him.
"Show me, Gray," Natsu urged softly. "If I really don't like it, I'll let you know. I'll use the safewords. I need to know what you want. I need to know how I can please my kainushi."
Gray stroked the hot face with flushed cheeks. "There … there are five things I really want to do." He swallowed stiffly, and Natsu saw that Gray was getting more aroused as he thought about it. "One, I'm pretty sure you'll like, but it could be dangerous. I don't trust myself yet."
"Do it!"
"No," Gray said firmly, shaking his head. "What I want is to whip you. For one, I don't have the room in this apartment for that, and two, I've never whipped a person before. You can seriously injure, even permanently maim, a person doing that. I'll need to take lessons on it, but it's something I'd really like to do, if you want to in the future."
"Yes!" Natsu nodded eagerly. To be punished by whipping sounded erotically painful. He had always been fascinated with Lucy's whipping techniques, so Natsu had felt disappointed when his little hints showed him that the pretty Celestial Spirit wizard was not actually into bondage.
"Do I have permission to take lessons?"
Natsu hesitated. Lessons? On something sexual? "Would you be whipping other people?"
"I have a friend who knows a professional dominatrix with skills in whipping techniques. She would train me, first on my own, eventually on her submissives."
"On other people?" Natsu cried out. He cringed down at the thought of Gray doing kinky things with others. "Would you be … be having … sex with them?"
"No," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Nothing sexual has to happen. I don't even have to touch them, except maybe to rub out their skin. It might arouse them, but it doesn't have to mean anything to me." Gray cupped Natsu's face in his hands. "I won't ever cheat on you, I promise."
Natsu let out a small, happy sigh. "Okay," he nodded. "You have permission." This was just training so that Gray could do something he always wanted and do it safely. It was no different than training to fight, except in this case, the battlefield was the bedroom. "What are the other things, something you can do now?"
"The second thing I want to do, I don't think you'll like. In fact, I'm pretty sure you won't. It'll be extremely humiliating," he warned, and his eyes gleamed greedily, "and that's why I want to do it."
"Tell me."
Gray ran his hand over Natsu' cheek, to his chin, then slipped his thumb into the scalding mouth, pulling Natsu's jaw down until he sat there with his tongue panting. "I … I want … to piss down your throat."
Natsu instinctively flinched back. What … the … hell?
"It's safe," Gray assured quickly. "I'm well-hydrated and don't have any infections, especially not after all the medication I just took." His eyes rolled slightly.
Natsu looked aside, debating what was definitely not something he expected, although given Gray's fetish for pissing, he should have expected it. With the image in his head of how it might look, a memory stirred up, and Natsu flinched away from it.
"Natsu?" Gray asked sharply, seeing the mental pain. "We don't have to."
"No, it's…" He flinched again, but struggled past it. "I'll agree if … if you don't … actually put it in my mouth. Don't force it. Let me catch it with my mouth. If I'm okay, maybe I'll do more, but if not … would it be okay if you just pissed on me, and not in my mouth? Just this time. I … I think I need to build up to that."
"That's fine," he said breathlessly. Honestly, Gray never thought Natsu would actually agree to even that much.
Natsu looked up, determined to accept every dark, twisted, perverted side to Gray. "What other things? You said there were five."
Gray smirked in a way that made Natsu shiver. "I want to lay you across my dining table and devour your cock. You were all cutesy at that table, trying to be romantic. Now I wanna show you how I like to spend an evening. I gave you a good dinner; you're gonna give me a wonderful dessert."
"Oh God," Natsu gasped, feeling a surge that made the cock ring more noticeable. "Wh-what else?" he demanded, wanting to hear more.
"I want to make you utterly helpless."
Natsu's brow tensed. "How?" he asked suspiciously.
"Sensory deprivation." He could tell by the way Natsu tilted his head, he had no clue what that meant. "I'd blindfold you, block your ears, put on nose plugs so you can't smell, basically take away as many senses as I can. Then, I'd give you only what sensations I want to give you. That's what I want to do today." He gazed Natsu up and down. "After I've had my fun," he amended.
"And the last one?"
Gray hesitated before admitting it. "I really want to have you as my little pet. My very own pet dragon. I learned from last time how not to treat you, but I still … I want … to control you like a true pet owner."
"Kainushi," Natsu whispered.
Gray held Natsu's chin and tilted it up. "I want to be your kainushi, and I want you to be my pet. My precious pet." He rubbed his thumb over Natsu's bottom lip. "Very precious," he whispered warmly.
Natsu wanted to melt at the tenderness Gray was showing him. His lips parted for that thumb, wanting to suck it, but again, Gray did not let him.
A pet, huh? Gray wanted control, and he saw being a pet owner, a kainushi, was an ideal way of having that sort of control. The collar, the leash, a ring to keep him aroused without coming too soon … all these things were to boost Gray's ego while humiliating Natsu. This was all part of Gray's darker desires, his perverted pleasures, a side to Gray he had admitted that he rarely showed to even close partners. Only to Natsu! Natsu was the only partner who Gray trusted and loved enough to open all the closets of his soul and release every bit of darkness.
This was part of his darkness. These desires were his way of dealing with the scars of the past. Natsu wanted to heal Gray's scars, so first he had to see just how dark Gray could be.
He lowered his head, but then his eyes flicked up with a devious smirk.
"Rawr," he growled sensually and playfully.
The small noise jolted Gray. Natsu felt tension as Gray clutched the leash harder, and he heard ragged breathing. He watched the ice wizard carefully. That bit of animal play must have intensely pleasured Gray, and Natsu wanted to see more.
Natsu rubbed his cheek against Gray's leg. Then he looked up again with a sly smirk. "Rawrrr!" he purred.
Gray managed to calm himself. Damn, when Natsu did that, it took him by surprise! Now Gray tried to use this control Natsu was granting him. He held the leash with purpose.
"Come with me." He began to walk out of the bedroom, but the leash pulled on the collar. Natsu did not move. "Come!" Gray tugged the leash. Natsu looked at him, but he turned his head aside stubbornly. Gray's mouth dropped at the disobedience. Then he remembered what Natsu had told him before. A dragon is a proud creature. "Please come, my dragon," he amended. Natsu smiled and crawled on his hands and knees. Gray led him by the leash to the main room and over to the kitchen. "Are you hungry?"
Natsu licked his lips in a way to silently communicate his wants.
"Thirsty?" Gray asked, and Natsu nodded. Gray reached deep into a shelf and pulled out the doggy water dish he had bought especially for pet play with Natsu. He filled it with water and set it on the floor. "There you go. Drink up." Then he made tea for himself.
Animals ate on the floor. Humans ate at the table. This sort of distinction was vital to the mentality of this sort of play. He brewed himself tea while Natsu lapped up the water. Seeing Natsu knelt, lowered to the status of an animal, made Gray intensely hard. He could hardly help but lightly stroke himself, just to ease the tingling ache.
Natsu saw the movement and looked over. He smelled what was definitely a drip of pre-cum. With water still dribbled on his chin, Natsu crawled over to Gray's chair and laid his head in the ice wizard's lap. He stayed there, gazing up silently, while Gray gawked down, so overwhelmed that he couldn't speak. The smell around Gray intensified, and Natsu could hardly help but rub his nose against that stiff bulge in Gray's jeans, inhaling the aroma and nudging the erection with stroking motions from his nose.
Gray gasped faintly. He never realized pet play could be so erotic when the other person really got into their role. "Do you want this?" he asked in a low tone that masked the tenseness in his throat.
Natsu looked up with large, pleading eyes. "Rawr," he said with a hint of desperate desire.
"Shhhit," Gray whispered. Struggling to keep control, he lowered his zipper, reached inside, and pulled his cock out. It sprang free, hard and flushed, a little wet on the top, and ready for attention. "Is this what you want?"
Natsu stared at the treat before him and purred softly. "Raawwwrrrr."
His lips ghosted over, mouth closed, just letting the feel, the heat, and the smell sink in. Finally, he gave a small lick. This taste! He had missed it so much. He licked again, only using small flicks of his tongue. He wanted to drive Gray crazy with his animal-like playfulness.
"N-Natsu," Gray moaned, and his fist clenched on the leash.
Sharp eyes turned up to him. They were the eyes of a dragon, wild and dangerous, and Gray realized a hidden truth with this pet play. Natsu was a dragon; dragons were proud, independent, and hoarded that which fascinated them. Right now, Natsu was hoarding him!
Gray reached to his belt. "Let me…"
Hands grabbed his wrists, holding Gray down. Natsu gave more tiny licks, but his eyes turned up from Gray's groin. He was a dragon, and dragons got what they wanted. He licked more along the edges and slowly lapped up to the head. Gray tensed up in the chair as that fiery tongue swirled around him, hot, wet, teasing and pleasuring.
Natsu rose ever so slightly from his crouched position, and he wrapped his lips around Gray's cockhead, sucking lightly, just holding it there. He licked again, pressing his tongue into the slit on top, swirling it around the rim of the head, and Gray groaned. A hand went to the top of Natsu's head, trying to push him down, wanting more. Natsu heard Gray's breathing getting heavier with need. With torturing slowness, Natsu slid down further, feeling that cock glide over the roof of his mouth, until it hit his tonsils. Then, lips tight, he pulled back up just as slowly, feeling how his hot saliva coated Gray's skin. As soon as his lips felt the flared rim of Gray's cockhead, he dived back down, fast this time, and let the head press against the back of his throat.
That pressure made Gray's whole body shiver. Natsu heard something that sounded like his name gurgle up, yet not even the first syllable could struggle past Gray's lips, just "Nnngh, nah, nnnnngh!"
Up and down, sucking and licking, he pounded into the back of his throat until he knew he would have a hoarse voice tomorrow. His nose felt the black curls of hair getting wet from dripping saliva. The hand on his head had a death-grip on Natsu's pink hair, sometimes pulling and changing his tempo. Natsu obeyed, following Gray's lead.
"Dammit." With a hiss, Gray yanked Natsu's head completely off, pulling him by the hair and gazing down at the smugness in those narrow eyes. "What are you trying to do to me?"
Natsu licked the pre-cum thickened saliva off his lips. "Rawr," he moaned, his eyes aflame with desire.
"Damn you," Gray whispered. He rose from his chair and yanked his jeans off as he went, letting them fly somewhere behind him. "Come." He tugged on the leash, but Natsu had that stubborn look in his face again. "Now!" he demanded in an urgent shout.
Natsu obediently followed, still on his hands and knees. Gray took him to the dining table. Natsu was a little shocked that Gray had been serious about wanting to take him there. On the table, where he ate every day … he was about to become Gray's next meal.
"Up," Gray ordered. Natsu stood, and Gray unclasped the leash. "Pet play is over." He put the leash aside. "You are way too good, dammit."
Natsu smiled smugly, but Gray practically threw him on top of the table.
"Spread 'em," he barked.
"Can I speak?"
"N- … yes," Gray decided, stumbling slightly. He had already taken off the leash, so speaking was okay.
"Lube and lots of prepping. That's all I demand. The rest is up to you, but like hell will I let you slam into me ever again. I've seen this look on your face before, and when you get it, you stop thinking about my needs. It's been a long time since you've entered me, and you'll need to go easy."
"Got it," Gray nodded. "Have you … um … done anything? You know, on your own?"
"No," Natsu said with an irritated glare. "You know my issues."
"I was just wondering."
"The last thing to enter my ass was your fingers while using a condom."
Gray smirked darkly at the memory. "And me sucking your toes. That was hot. Now, don't move from that spot."
Gray took off to the bedroom. When he returned, he was fully naked with a bottle of lube in one hand and a condom in the other. Natsu watched him returning.
"I said you didn't need to use one this time," said Natsu.
"Just in case you change your mind. There is no way I'd want to stop long enough to go dig one out. Plus this way," and he placed the condom in Natsu's palm, "you can tell Happy that you had one, but that it was my decision to do it without protection. That also makes it my responsibility."
"And you keep in control," Natsu pointed out.
"Damn right I do!" He grabbed Natsu's hands and slammed them hard against the table, trapping them above Natsu's head. The blue of magic gleamed coldly off his eyes as ice crackled over the table and captured Natsu's hands.
"Restraining me already?" Natsu asked in surprise. Usually, he had to ask Gray to bind him.
"I like binding you," Gray said in a low voice. "I want to feel in control."
"I know." Natsu felt the ice trap his wrists. "I kinda like it better when you use your ice instead of handcuffs. It's more … personal."
Gray caressed Natsu's cheek. "I like it, too. No one else ever liked my ice."
"Well, I do!"
"I know," he smiled plaintively. He tried to laugh, but a sniffle shook out.
Natsu gazed up in confusion. Was he crying? What was wrong? Natsu wanted to reach out, but he felt the frigid bindings on his wrists.
Gray wiped his nose. "A fire-idiot like you, and you're the only one who likes my ice. Ironic. Anyway…" He pushed it aside. He could not let emotions take control now. "I'm going to be selfish."
"Do whatever you want to me," Natsu urged.
"What I want?" Gray slammed his hand on the table and leaned over Natsu's body. He sneered down at the prone, naked Dragon Slayer—his captive. His prey! "I want to make you moan so loud my neighbors will file an official complaint with my landlord. I want them to hear you!"
Natsu shuddered. Sure, he and Gray had used this apartment many times, but Natsu tended to forget that there were people living all around them. The walls were thin. The neighbors had complained once before. They had all heard Natsu's sexy moaning voice.
Gray grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted some onto his fingers. Then he put some directly onto Natsu's ass. He rubbed it around, coating the outer part. Then one finger rested on the puckered star. He gazed down at Natsu and savored the anticipation in that flushed face.
"Ready?"
He nodded vigorously. Gray slowly eased the finger in. It was so tight, as if nothing in the world had ever spread this tiny hole. Inside, he felt smooth walls and heat—incredible heat! Gray watched his finger sink inside, and then he looked back to Natsu. He was quiet, oddly enough.
"Are you okay?" Gray asked, wondering why there were no moans.
"Just … savoring it," Natsu whispered.
Gray pressed the finger in, slowly pulled back, added a little more lube, and then he pressed a second finger in. This time, Natsu groaned with discomfort, turning into impassioned cries as Gray's fingers worked on him, thrusting, scissoring, all the time searching for that one spot. He knew he found it when Natsu's eyes went wide and he cried out with an erotic moan.
"Feels … good, Gray. So good. Your fingers are heating me up inside. Oh God, right there. More there. Oooooh Gray!"
The Ice-Make wizard shivered at that voice. "Shut up."
"It feels really good. Oooh, just like that. I love when your fingers fuck me."
"Nngh! Shut … up!" Gray could hardly control himself when Natsu talked low and smooth, flowing like a river of lava. He hated how the Dragon Slayer laughed so smugly. "You like to tease me with your voice."
Natsu had a gleam in his narrow eyes. "I know you react well to it." Oh yes, he knew! He could probably make Gray come completely undone with a dozen words spoken just right.
"Yeah, a little too well," Gray admitted. Natsu's sensual voice was a weakness, but it was one he enjoyed. Getting Natsu to moan like a slut was pleasuring and satisfying.
Natsu watched closely as Gray reached down to rub out an ache in his erection. Those pale fingers rubbed down the stiff, rosy shaft, and Natsu licked his lips as the smell of arousal increased.
"Do you want me to loosen you up or slam into you?"
Natsu broke off from staring at Gray's cock. "I want more of your cold fingers thrusting inside me. I want you to loosen me so I can take in all of your cock with one thrust."
"Oh God! Then do not talk like that!"
Gray leaned over and took him in one swallow until Natsu felt the back of that throat. Gray's fingers were cold, but his mouth was a winter bonfire, melting Natsu. As the Dragon Slayer moaned to that persistent mouth, he smelled something new: his own pre-cum. He felt Gray's throat gulp, and Natsu strained to hold back from coming already.
"Bite … small bite," he growled tensely.
Gray leaned up, lips swollen and wet. He wiped spit and pre-cum off with the back of his hand. "Masochist," he teased, but he still leaned over and scraped his teeth over Natsu's nipple. Then he went to the other nipple, licked it, and sucked it with his lips.
Natsu leaned back, surrendering to his touches, and moaned, "Graa-aaay." His moan dragged out, going higher at the end as the ice wizard bit down hard on the fleshy nub.
Stormy blue eyes gazed up. "Do you like it?"
Natsu could only moan and nod, "Mm-hmmmm!"
"Good. How about this?" He slid a third finger in, and at the same time he leaned over and took Natsu's shaft into his mouth again. The Dragon Slayer arched up, ramming himself into that throat. Gray pressed his free hand onto Natsu's hips, pushing them back to the table. He sucked slowly all the way up. Then he looked back at Natsu's face. "Good dessert," he purred in pleasure. "Maybe I should just do this and devour your cum right here on my table. You'll feed me, right?"
"Nnnnngh … Gray!"
"I'll take that as a yes."
Gray sucked rhythmically, bobbing without stopping. Natsu felt the pressure building, and the cock ring felt too tight. It hurt in such a wonderful way. He yanked on the icy restraints as his body writhed without control, twisting to the pleasure Gray gave him. By instinct, his body wanted to attack, but in his mind Natsu never wanted this feeling to end. It was bliss, and Natsu's eyes teared up.
"Gr- … Gray … dammit, gonna … nnngh … I can't … oh God!"
Gray reached with his free hand and suddenly unsnapped the cock ring. The release of pressure was so intense, Natsu lost all control. His body yanked hard enough to make the table shift, but Gray kept his mouth around that cock, swallowing, licking up every bit, enjoying the deliciously salty dessert. Finally, he pulled back and smiled down at the defeated Dragon Slayer huffing away on top of his dining table.
"Gochiso sama deshita." He chuckled as he gave the praise. "Now it's my turn." He pulled his fingers out slowly. "Are you ready?"
Natsu panted with exhaustion, but he wanted Gray to have him completely. He nodded with weariness and determination.
"It might be easier if you stand up and lean over the table."
"No, like this. I wanna watch you without looking over my shoulder all the time."
"Okay. I'm gonna shift you to the edge of the table."
Gray released the ice bonds and trapped Natsu's hands again at a different angle so that his hips were right on the table's edge. Gray picked up the cock ring and replaced it, making Natsu moan as the tinge returned amidst all that sensitivity. Then Gray grabbed the bottle of lube and put a copious amount on his shaft, rubbing it to coat the whole thing. For good measure, he put more on Natsu's hole as well.
"Knees up. Ready?"
"Yeah."
"Relax."
"I know."
Gray smiled down at him with confidence. He grasped himself for stability, and then he nudged the cock up against Natsu. With a firm thrust, he pressed inside, and Natsu's body arched with a moan.
Gray sighed, loving this heat. "So good!" He looked down to his lover. "Are you all right?"
"Y-yeah."
He pressed more, but Natsu flinched.
"Hold on."
Gray nodded and waited while Natsu struggled to loosen up and relax.
"Okay," Natsu whispered. "I almost forgot how big you are, dammit. Little more."
Gray gently thrust his hips to burrow himself deeper.
"Oh God, yeah," Natsu groaned in pleasure, arching up as it filled him. "It's easier when it's just you, no condom."
"That's because I have a lot of lube on me right now." Gray pressed until his hips could get no closer. Then he held it there, waiting for Natsu's sake. He wiped a bead of sweat off Natsu's brow. "I like to feel the inside of you. Like this, it's so different."
"Yeah, no condom," Natsu smiled. "I can just feel you."
"Yeah," Gray sighed. Just Natsu. Just his beloved. Skin against skin. Mentally, it was far different than using a condom. He was inside his lover, just him, just his cock, with nothing else between them but a drizzle of lubricant. "Uh, let me know if it doesn't feel good or if … if…" Gray worried about directly saying it. "…if you decide against this."
"Against it?" Natsu asked, chuckling softly. "Why the hell would I be against this?"
Gray's face pained over as he had to say it directly. "If I come in your ass, and without a condom, you might … um … I don't know how you'll react to that."
"I think it should be fine."
"If it's not, let me know right away."
"I will. You can move now."
Gray nodded, trusting that Natsu would know his limits, although the idiot tended to push his limits too far. He would have to keep watch over him in case he saw hints of Natsu freaking out. However, for now, Natsu looked eager to do this, and Gray was not about to deny him. He pulled his hips back a little, then slid in firmly again.
Natsu moaned at the feel of being filled up inside and the gentle caress against his prostate. "Oh, Gray," he shuddered.
"More?" Gray pulled back farther and slid in, inch by inch, slowly. He watched Natsu's face draw up, his teeth clenched, eyes squinted, but not in fear. Just pleasure. Pure, wonderful pleasure. "Do you like it?" he asked in velvety tones.
"Hell yeah," Natsu rasped out. "One day, maybe we can try restraining my hands in a position where they're down lower, and … a-and maybe I can finger your ass while you hump into me." Natsu gazed up and saw Gray's eyes widened in desire. "I don't know how that'd work, but … maybe?"
Gray smiled down and stroked those flushed, heated cheeks. "I'd like that. I'd even ice your hands directly to my skin."
"That might work, actually."
Gray glided out, and the Dragon Slayer felt him press hard again, filling him. Natsu could hardly help the moans that came out, forced from his mouth by the thrusts of Gray's hips. He did not pause now. Gray's brow tightened with focus. He wanted to possess this man deeper and stronger than anything he had ever possessed.
Natsu squirmed with unbearable pleasure. "G-Gray."
"Are you okay?"
"Uh-huh!" he eked out tensely. "I missed this."
"I know," Gray shuddered, thrusting firmly. "Damn, I missed you. Missed feeling inside here." He gave a rougher thrust, and Natsu's spine arched up off the table. "You know, last time I was in your ass, you came and passed out before I could finish."
Natsu blushed in shame and looked aside. "Sorry about that. That was the chastity belt, right?"
"Yeah. Heh! That was damn hot."
"Maybe … maybe we could … um, use it again."
"That would really turn me on," Gray admitted. "Maybe we can have you wear it in public, just casually. I didn't get to watch you last time. I like the idea, knowing your cock is caged up, wearing something so kinky in front of everyone, no one can touch your cock … only me!" He thrust in hard, and Natsu cried out. "Only I can touch this. Only I can pleasure this." He grabbed Natsu's limp cock and gave it firm strokes. It hardened up again quickly.
"Ahhhn! G-Gray!"
"Only mine! My cock. My dragon." His possessive gaze softened to tenderness. "My beloved."
Natsu felt tears in his eyes. "Gray."
The ice wizard paused as he looked down longingly. How he had wanted this! Although he wanted to fuck Natsu wildly on the dining table, it was turning into something wonderful, not kinky, but sensually amazing.
As Natsu gazed up, he had a desire to touch Gray's face. Instead of fearing his ability to kill, he wanted with every thread of his soul to touch Gray, connect to him, and reciprocate this loving act.
Although deep inside it scared him, he gulped and whispered. "Release one of my hands. Just for a moment. I wanna … I … I need to hold you, touch you, be with you, not just lying here. I … I need … more. I need you. If that's okay."
Gray paused and stroked Natsu's neck, letting his nails glide over the ragged scar. "Promise not to freak out?"
"I'll tell you when it's an issue."
Gray nodded and released one hand. Natsu immediately wrapped it around Gray, half-hugging him tightly. Then his fingers stroked across Gray's chest muscles. Making love and touching! He thought he'd never reach a point where he could do this.
"Can I … um … pull you in?"
Gray wondered what he meant, until Natsu's hand drifted down to Gray's hip. He pulled, and Gray glided inside.
"Yes," Natsu shuddered. "Want it." He pulled again, and Gray followed his tugs, moving in and out at a pace Natsu himself wanted. "Like … this," he huffed. "Like I'm…"
Natsu jolted hard, and his eyes grew huge in terror. A face returned to him, a head, madness, blood, insane cackling.
"No!"
"Natsu? Natsu!" Gray grabbed Natsu's cheeks, trying to get those massive eyes to focus back onto him and away from whatever horror he was reliving. "Look at me, Natsu. Dammit. Look at me!"
Eyes shaking with terror turned to him. Natsu caught his breath, then shuddered it out and went limp. "It's no good. I can't do that."
"That's fine," Gray assured, rubbing out the shivering arms. "Shit, don't push yourself like that."
"I didn't think it'd be a problem. Dammit," Natsu cursed in frustration.
"I'm right here," Gray said with tender calmness. "Is there anything I should do? Do you need your hands restrained again?"
"That's not the issue." The Dragon Slayer bit his lip in worry. He did not want to tell Gray at this time, not when they were having so much fun. "I'll be okay. I want to touch you more, though. Just not like that. Um, Yellow?" He laughed at the delayed safeword, although Gray still looked worried. "Sorry. It hit too fast for me to realize it was a problem. I'm okay, really."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, there's no way in hell I'm telling you to stop!" He tried to smile it off, but Gray still had a concerned wrinkle in his brow. "Do you think you really can ice my hands to your skin?"
"Yeah. Should be easy."
"C-can you? I think it would help. Ice my hands in a way so I'm holding onto your shoulders, hugging you. I've always wanted to do that, to hold onto you … w-while you … make love to me."
Gray sighed at such a sweet request. "Not like this." He pulled out, and Natsu began to protest. "Not on a table. You deserve better for a moment like this. We need a change of scenery now anyway." Gray hoisted Natsu up into his arms and carried him to the bedroom.
"What the hell?" Natsu shouted, squirming around.
"Shut up, dragon princess. You're damn heavy, ya know. Fuck, how do princes carry their princesses like this?"
"Wimp," Natsu grumbled, petulantly settling against Gray's chest.
Gray took Natsu to the bed and dropped him down. Then he climbed on top and gazed across that sleek, prone body.
"Much better," he smiled. "Reach around me, whatever way is most comfortable."
Natsu wrapped his hands around, feeling Gray's skin, the contour of his muscles, the iciness that warmed up at his touches, like hoarfrost melting on a window with just a light touch. He caressed Gray's shoulders until he found a position that felt natural, as if Gray's body had been built to be held just like this.
"Here," he decided. He could hold Gray forever like this.
Gray felt the heat on his skin, so hot, like a summer sun touching his back. Having Natsu hold him as they made love was so much sweeter. Focusing, he iced the hands to his skin, frosting a bandage-like barrier that held Natsu in place.
"Is this okay for you?"
Natsu could still move his fingers. Mostly, Gray had captured his wrists. "If you move up, I'll be forced to move with you."
"That's not a problem, right?"
Following Gray, always close to him, constantly in arms-length … "No, I guess not," he said with a placid smile. "I prefer having you close to me."
"There's a bit of room so you can flex your fingers, but not enough where you can do too much damage."
"Just scratch you, huh?"
"You can grip hold of me as tightly as you want. I wanna feel you scratch me up … while I do this."
Gray thrust back inside. Natsu cried out with intense pleasure as once again he was filled. His hands tightened, but this time he felt the skin under him. His fingers dug into those shoulders, grabbing, possessing, and lightly marking.
Gray could no longer control himself. He forced himself in again and again, watching the flush return to Natsu's body, eying the way his arousal leaked with the pleasure Gray gave him, and listening to those sultry moans that got louder as he thrust in. He felt Natsu grasp onto him. Although he loved restraining people, feeling Natsu's passion through his gripping fingers was so wonderful, it burned his heart.
"Natsu," he whispered, getting overwhelmed. "Natsu…" Like a prayer or supplication, he moaned that name with each thrust. "Natsu … Natsu!"
"Gray…"
"I like to feel you holding onto me."
"Mmmm … me t-too … nnnngh!"
Suddenly, Natsu's eyes opened wide, and Gray saw horror in them again. Immediately, he went still.
"Natsu!"
The Dragon Slayer gasped, but his eyes shut to whatever he saw. "It's okay," he whispered to himself. His fingers clutched, but he could not move his wrists. "It's … okay," he sighed, relaxing from his panicked tenseness. "I can't hurt you." His body slumped back, and he gazed up to the ceiling as he slowly calmed down. "Can't hurt you," he repeated. Then he shifted his eyes back to Gray. "Keep going."
"That's twice. I don't think we should…"
"Dammit, don't you dare stop!" Natsu shouted.
Gray paused, worried about these relapses and wondering what was causing them. Was it just because it had been a while since they made love? Was it something more? He was afraid to ask too much. "Are you sure?"
"You need this, right?"
Gray held back from answering. When it came to partners, he was used to indulging in his kinks while giving the other person pleasure. What he needed? He wasn't used to having someone concerned with his needs.
"It's all right, really," Natsu assured him. "I can't hurt you, so it's okay. I just … for a moment … but I'm okay now." His eyes gleamed like a predator. "Fuck me hard, Gray!"
"Shit, don't talk like that. I'm … about to come," he admitted.
Natsu assessed this. Although he had panicked for a moment, it was about something else, not about Gray releasing inside of him. "It's fine," he assured.
"Don't come again yet," Gray ordered. "I'm not done with you."
Natsu nodded. He could hold back, although the pleasure within him was intense.
"I won't hold back," Gray huffed. He thrust in harder and faster. As the pressure built inside him, he refused to stop. All surrounding sounds muffled, even Natsu's gasping cries.
"Ahh! Gray! So … good."
He was enjoying it. That's all that mattered. Gray could be as rough and sadistic as he wanted, but it was pointless unless his partner enjoyed it. Hearing Natsu's shuddering moans told Gray what he needed. He wanted to control someone, to drive pleasure into them, to make them subservient through lust and desire, while he kept in charge. He wanted to see more from Natsu. He wanted to utterly enslave him with pleasure.
He huffed out between thrusts. "Once I … come inside … it's no longer … usable."
"Wh-what?" Natsu cried out. Something stirred in the back of his mind.
"It's covered in filth. The cum is covered in your shit. It's not usable, right?"
Natsu's eyes widened as that dreaded voice echoed in his mind.
"I can't use it now. Fucking kid! I need fresh cum, not cum that's sitting in filth. Goddammit."
Slowly, Natsu muttered. "Cum … in filth. Can't use it." That moment had been a proud victory amidst so much darkness and fear. He learned one way to win against his opponent. Filthy cum was unusable.
Gray flinched as he saw the distant gaze. "Oh God, not again. I'm sorry. I said something…"
"No," Natsu said over him. "You're right." He laughed insanely. "Heh! Haha! Kyahahaha! Covered in filth. Can't use it!" He laughed, looking up at Gray with excitement that bordered on mania. "Do it, Gray. Come in me. Make it filthy." His grin turned feral and hungry. "Fill my ass up. Then I can shit it out. Filth! I want it. I want your … nnngh … your filthy cum. Want it … up … my ass! Hurry, I'm ready to come again."
"Don't! Not yet."
"Then hurry."
Gray rammed harder, long but rough strokes that shoved Natsu up the mattress little by little. Suddenly, Gray grabbed Natsu around the shoulders and hoisted him up into his lap.
"Hold on to me tight, dragon!"
He thrust up into Natsu while the Dragon Slayer sat on his lap. Natsu clutched so tightly, he felt moistness on his fingertips from blood drawn from the scratches. His body began to shudder, but he held back for Gray's sake.
"Gr-Gray!"
"Almost…" Gray slammed in hard as his lust overwhelmed him and gushed out.
Natsu tensed up as he felt something. It was hot, wet, filling him. He felt the throbs in Gray's cock as those spurts pulsed through. With his arms wrapped around Gray, holding his shoulders, Natsu felt the cold body shuddering. Although Gray clutched so tightly on him that Natsu could not see his face, still he felt Gray's body reacting to this climax of carnal desires.
"I … I felt that," he whispered in awe.
"Whuh?" Gray muttered in exhaustion.
"I could feel you … f-filling me up."
"Is it okay?"
Natsu stared ahead into the shadows of the bedroom, but there was no darkness in his mind anymore. Just pure whiteness, clean and fresh, a winter that could bury all the troubles and leave the world blank, ready to be filled with new life, new hopes, new dreams.
"Natsu?"
The Dragon Slayer pulled back. Somehow, the worry on Gray's face made him so happy.
"It's wonderful." He leaned in and kissed Gray right on the mouth. "Plus I'm still holding you. It's … what I always wanted." He paused as tears threatened him. "To just hold you." His head dropped onto Gray's shoulder, and he nuzzled into that chilly neck. Softly, exhausted, he laughed with radiant joy. "Holding you. Being with you. Being marked inside by you. I love it all."
However, while holding Gray, Natsu realized he was no longer replying. After a minute, he rose up and looked at Gray. Those droopy blue eyes had a plaintive gleam to them.
"What?" he asked in concern.
Gray shook his head. It was silly to feel this way, but still … "You're wonderful," he praised.
Natsu chuckled. How unlike Gray!
"Sorry," the ice wizard muttered, blushing and looking aside. "It's just … you're … you're really wonderful. Dammit, I can't figure out what I want to say. I'm sounding like some idiot." He shook his head, pressing his flustered confusion aside. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Hard as hell, but yeah."
"Good. That's … good."
"Gray?"
"Sorry." Tears dripped down. "I'm … envious."
Envy? That was the last thing Natsu would have thought of Gray. "What? Why?"
"You're taking leaps forward, and I still can't say the one thing I want to tell you."
"You tell me like this. You tell me through everything you do."
He saw that Gray still looked frustrated, but Natsu had no clue how he could help. He wanted to. Desperately, he wished he knew what he could do to get Gray over his phobia. Maybe someone in the guild would have an answer, but he had no clue who to ask, or even how to go about asking. He felt helpless and guilty.
"We don't need words, Gray. Just each other."
"I want to say those words," he insisted. "I can't. I can't risk it. Why are you brave enough to risk facing your fears, but I can't?"
Natsu pouted and stroked Gray's cheek. "Your fears run far deeper than mine. How about this? You say I, I'll say the middle word, and then you say you."
Gray nodded. That wasn't a confession, but more like a game. "I."
Natsu held Gray's shoulders tightly. "Love."
Gray choked up, but he managed to finally say, "You."
Natsu grinned at their success. "See! You can say two-thirds of it. It's kinda romantic filling in each other's sentences, too." He kissed Gray on the forehead. "Anything I can do to help you, just let me know. I don't know what to do," he admitted, "but I wanna help."
Gray chuckled wearily and looked up. "Just being with you and feeling this way is a big help. God, we are both so fucked up."
"I'm the one quite well and fucked here."
Gray had to laugh at that. "You sure are! I … I like the idea … marking you inside."
"Mmmm, yeah," Natsu moaned, stretching out stiff muscles. "First time you've done this."
"Yeah. I almost don't want to pull out. Then all my cum will go out."
"Well, you can't just stay here in my ass all day, idiot."
Gray laughed at the saucy attitude. "Yeah, yeah." He laid Natsu back down carefully and stayed above him. "Are you ready?"
Natsu nodded, and he felt Gray pulling back out. For how much he loved the fullness of having Gray inside of him, he wanted to get to more fun in store. Slowly, Gray slid out, his cock defeated by the dragon, limp and wet. At the same time, Natsu felt something moist dribble out of his ass. The feeling was disgusting and terrifying. He tensed up, holding it all inside.
"Natsu?" Gray asked sharply, seeing the tenseness.
"No. It's fine. Just … I feel it … dripping out my ass. It's weird."
Semen. Semen was inside him. Inside! He had Gray's cum in him. Cum … inside…
Natsu tensed up and shook his head.
"Natsu!" Gray heard his breathing get quicker. "This is you. It's my cum in your ass. Not the other way around."
"I know," he shouted, but Natsu forced himself to be calmer. "I know. And I'm in control. I'm … I'm in control." He was the one who decided what to do with this seed of life. It was covered in filth, in his ass, unusable, only good for shit. "Um, wh-what do I do now?"
Gray arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Well, your cum's in my ass. What do I do next?"
Gray burst out a sharp laugh. Natsu really was inexperienced, but it was nice that he got to discover these simple things together with Gray. "Time to flush it into the toilet. Can you stand?"
Natsu moved, but he flopped back down. "Nope. My legs don't wanna move."
"Lazy!"
"No, they're numb. You did that for too long."
"Would you rather I make it quick?" he asked wryly.
"Oh, hell no! The longer, the better. Just can't feel my thighs."
Hearing that really bolstered Gray's ego. Fucking his lover until he couldn't even walk! What a wonderful triumph! Still, he reached around Natsu. "Easy. Up you go."
They walked slowly, Natsu hard but limping, Gray tired but still wanting more. They made it to the bathroom together. Gray eased Natsu down to the toilet and stepped back.
"Now you just squirt it into the toilet."
"That's it?"
"Yeah. What else are you gonna do with it?" He choked back his tongue, but the words were already out. He saw Natsu gaze up with a forlorn expression. What else? There were plenty of other things that could be done, and Natsu knew about that horror firsthand. "Oh God! Sorry!"
"No," Natsu whispered, dropping his gaze. "It's filthy, not good for anything now, right?"
Gray nodded in affirmation. "It's ruined."
"That's right," Natsu muttered, half stuck with fears of the past, but now slowly battling them. "Can't … use it … filthy…" He snapped out of the flashback and glared at Gray. "Are you just gonna stand there and watch?" he shouted in embarrassment.
"Yes." The answer was not sensual. It was dead serious, and Gray's eyes were ice hard on him.
Natsu cowered down at the thudding of that declaration. "I kinda have to pee, too."
"I want to watch you do that."
"And I … I kinda … I … might have to take a dump."
Gray's smile curled up. "I wanna watch that as well."
"No!"
"Tell me how much I can watch. I just wanna see everything. I want to watch you doing everything, including this. I want to see your face, your body, how it looks, sounds, smells … tastes. Everything. I want everything that is you."
Everything that was him? Gray was being possessive, that was all. He wanted to see Natsu doing everything, even this most private act. Natsu blushed with shame and looked aside. He has pissed in the guild bathroom plenty of times. Peeing in a public restroom was no problem. But the other! Could he do that, pooping while someone watched? Once, he had told Gray it was fine, but now, knowing just how intensely Gray was observing him, it was shameful and frightening.
"It's my cum, Natsu. I put it in there. I wanna watch you get rid of it." Still, he saw the reluctance. "If it's really not okay, you need to tell me directly. Can I watch you piss?"
"That … it's … fine."
"And crap?"
Natsu cowered down. "If … if you really … wanna." He wanted to be the submissive today. He wanted to obey Gray, even in this. "For now, it's just your cum, so … so it's fine. That much is okay."
"Then that's all I'll watch. Relax."
Natsu closed his eyes. His sphincter had been tightly squeezing since sitting on this toilet, but he felt the pressure that wanted to release. Shuddering, he loosened up, and a splash of thick liquid hit the toilet water. Natsu flinched at the sound, but he looked up to Gray. The ice wizard was staring with wild fascination, and although he had just came, his cock was trying to lengthen again.
"Well, that was kinda gross," Natsu muttered.
Gray chuckled. "Sex is messy. It's also fun. Make sure it's all out. You don't want to be dribbling out your ass all night."
Natsu nodded and bore down a little harder. More lube and semen came out. He flinched back at the sound and a stench his nose could pick up that he hoped Gray could not smell.
"Do you … really … wanna see me pee?"
"Yes," Gray breathed, too tense to say more.
Natsu quickly wiped his ass, and then he stood on his sore, wobbly legs. "All right," he sighed, lifting the toilet seat.
"Ah! Wait!" Gray jolted forward, but he suddenly yanked back. His eyes showed terror but desire. "No. Go ahead."
"What?" Natsu asked in concern.
"Nothing!"
"Tell me."
Gray fidgeted. "It's weird to ask, but … do you wanna … stand in the shower and … and … pee on each other?"
Natsu flinched back. What the hell? Gray had said something about peeing in his mouth, and that had seemed really gross. This suggestion was better, but still bizarre to Natsu.
"Sorry," Gray gnashed, turning aside and away from those wide eyes. No one ever understood his kink, so he should not expect Natsu to understand or even want it.
"Sure!"
Gray swung back around with surprise. "What? Really?"
"Sure. Is that what you want? And where? On my body, or in my mouth? Which one?"
"Wh-what?" Gray cried out, sure he was hearing this wrong. Natsu was agreeing!
"I mean, this is like marking each other. Animals do that. It's just another way to mark the person you claim."
"Y-yeah. Yeah, it is. Maybe that's why I like it. Marking you." Gray pouted with doubts. "Are you really sure?"
"It'll be in the shower. I've pissed in the shower plenty of times, so that's no big deal. And I can watch you piss."
"Yeah," Gray whispered, enthralled by the idea.
Natsu observed Gray's face with amusement. "Do you like the idea of me watching you piss?"
"Yes!"
"You should tell me. You've never asked me to watch you before."
Gray looked aside with shame. "I didn't think you'd want to."
"I'd rather watch you piss than have you watch me. I don't mind. I get to see your cock more, so it's cool with me."
"Really?" he sighed in relief.
"Well, don't drag me into the bathroom every time you have to pee!" Natsu huffed. "But once in a while, if it's like this—if it's kinky and I know you're getting pleasure from me watching you—that's okay." Natsu's eyes drank him in, gazing all around that pale body, especially to the penis trying to make a comeback. "I need this damn cock ring off. Probably the collar, too."
"Oh crap, sorry!" Gray unsnapped the ring, then raced to his bedroom and brought the key for the collar. "This is just for the shower," he said as he twisted the key into the tiny padlock. "Once you're dry, this is going back on."
"Are you not done?"
"Oh, hell no!" Gray growled lasciviously. He placed both leather items on the sink. "Did it chaff anywhere?"
"No, these are really nice. Good quality."
"I wanted the best for you."
That attentiveness deeply touched Natsu's heart. Gray must have put a lot of thought into these two items, two decorations that marked Natsu as belonging to him.
"Into the shower, now!"
They scrambled over to the shower and stood close to one another. Gray could feel the heat of Natsu's body, who in turn could feel the slight chill of the Ice-Make wizard.
"Are you gonna turn on the water?"
"Not yet," Gray smirked. "I wanna feel your wet piss all over my skin, marking me. I wanna feel how hot it is and watch it come out of you. I wanna see your dick do what it does most, and I want everything that's inside of you, even this. All your filthiness. I want it all."
Natsu arched an eyebrow. "You have some weird-ass kinks."
"I know," he sighed. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine. It's just … weird."
Gray felt guilty, but this was also something he desperately desired. If Natsu would allow it, then he really wanted it. "Is it okay if I … if I go?"
"Yeah. At the same time?"
"I'd like that." Together, at the same time, their filth mixing. Yes! He wanted that.
They stood silently, staring down at their own cocks, yet nothing happened.
Natsu laughed tensely. "It's kinda hard to relax."
"I know." Gray gulped through his constricted throat. "I'm really nervous."
"Not so much nervous," Natsu muttered. "More like embarrassing."
"It's my first time doing this with someone, so I'm anxious, fidgety, can't calm down at all."
Natsu glanced up with amusement and tenderness. "First time? Really?"
Gray nodded, keeping his eyes down as he tried to calm his unsteady breaths. "You're the first person I've ever felt close enough toward to even dare ask."
Natsu's eyebrows shot up. This was more than some kink. It was something truly special for Gray, something he couldn't do with just any other lover. Knowing that firmed up Natsu's resolve. He almost laughed as he realized that now, after hearing Gray confess that, he was determined to piss on the stripper. How weird was that!
He calmed himself and closed his eyes. Pretend it was a urinal. Gray was his urinal. As he thought about it more, he rather liked the idea of peeing on the ice wizard. He chuckled to himself. Pissing on Gray! Yes, he liked that. Piss on him for all the times Gray annoyed him, for all the fighting, rivalry, and bickering between them. Pee on the damn stripper, see how it shames him!
Finally, he relaxed enough, and the urine dripped out. Natsu hummed as the stream slowly got steady. He heard it hitting flesh before dripping to the ceramic tub.
Gray shuddered at the warm wetness. This was happening! It was really, truly happening. He let go of his nervousness and immediately began to pee. He looked down as the faintly yellow liquid hit Natsu. He let it blend with the stream coming out of Natsu's penis, and then he moved his dick to mark the Dragon Slayer's body. Letting go of that tight control, yet also being in control of what he did, when he did it, where he did it … shaming Natsu, reducing him to a urinal, something to be marked … like an animal!
His eyes turned up, gazing heatedly at Natsu through his lashes. The Dragon Slayer was watching him just as intently. Suddenly, synchronized silently through impassioned looks alone, they grabbed each other's cocks, just holding them, moving them to where they wanted to feel this hot liquid. Natsu's eyes fluttered down, and Gray wished he could smell arousal like a Dragon Slayer.
"G-Gray…"
"Are you okay?"
"You're marking me."
"Yes," he smiled. "You're pissing on me, too."
Natsu blushed as he opened his eyes again. "Do you like it?"
Gray had a placid smile that hid just how this was affecting him. "Very much." His gravelly, tense voice belied the prurient passion he felt from doing this kinky, intimate thing together.
Natsu smiled with relief. It was weird, but if it made Gray happy, that was enough. Then he looked down as he felt his bladder emptied.
"That's it. Sorry."
"No, that was wonderful," Gray praised. "Almost done."
"Then…"
Slowly, Natsu knelt down. He hesitated, but he opened his mouth and brought his face closer. Gray's heart went chaotic as he saw what Natsu was trying to do. The pee sputtered for a moment as his cock stiffened, yet he managed to gulp down hard and relax again. Natsu's eyes turned up, his mouth open, his tongue out, but still looking worried. Gray put a hand on the pink head. Then he brought his cock closer and aimed the stream.
Natsu smelled it, but he simply tried not to breathe too deeply. This was what Gray wanted. He kept thinking that as he felt hot liquid touch his tongue. He had swallowed Gray's cum before, so he figured he could do this. It wasn't much different. It came out of the same hole. A little liquid entered his mouth, and he swallowed. Instantly, he choked at the taste, but now Gray had a fist in his pink hair, keeping him in place.
"Take it," he ordered.
Natsu felt more in his mouth. He could say Red, but he didn't want to. He wanted to share this experience with Gray. When the fingers in his hair loosened, Natsu did not pull away. His tongue reached out, and he licked the bottom of the cockhead. Gray began to bring himself closer, but Natsu pulled back sharply. Gray nodded in understanding. This was difficult for Natsu, so for this first time, he would only taste it a little.
"Enough," Gray decided. He pulled back and finished what little was left; letting the pee hit Natsu's neck and drip to the bathtub. "That … that was…"
Overwhelmed, Gray grabbed Natsu, hoisted him straight up, and grasped hold of him tightly, crushing him. Natsu was startled, but he felt Gray shivering. He was about to ask if he was okay when he heard a whisper repeating as the ice wizard spoke into the side of his neck.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh God, you're wonderful. Thank you. Thank you."
"Gray," Natsu sighed, stroking his hair.
"I don't know if I've ever been this happy before. Dammit!" He snuffled and wiped his nose.
Natsu laughed and shook his head reprovingly. "Just because you pissed on me, huh?"
"It's more than that!" Gray shouted.
"I know." Natsu smiled understandingly and rubbed Gray's shivering arms. "If you ever really wanna do something like this, it's fine. Any weird kink, just ask me. I might like it."
"I'd be asking a lot of you."
"I can take it. I'm tough," Natsu smirked.
Gray knew that was an understatement. Natsu's strength was also in how he could fight his past demons, something Gray lacked. Natsu was powerful when doing something for a friend, whether if that was fighting a villain to protect a teammate, or fighting the terrors of the past to help Gray to experience a lifelong fantasy.
"I … care for you … so much. So damn much!"
"I love you, too," Natsu said gently, stroking Gray's back. "Now, can we wash off?"
"Yeah, sorry."
"You smell like me."
"Oh? And what do you smell like?"
"I smell like piss."
Gray laughed as he twisted the faucet knobs and got the water adjusted to a lukewarm temperature that would work for both of them.
"I smell like your piss. And I can still smell your cum. I'll probably be smelling your cum for a while."
"Eventually it'll all clear out."
"Hmmm … I wish I could smell it all the time."
They showered, and Gray scrubbed every bit of Natsu's body. They were both worn out, but that made them happy, relaxed, and perhaps a little silly. They teased each other for how they had acted, reliving that afternoon through jokes, including Natsu's "rawr" noises. Natsu did a weird dance in the shower that was something like a robotic dinosaur, and Gray laughed until the Dragon Slayer slipped. Gray grabbed Natsu before he fell, then held him up against the wall and kissed him hard. They moaned through wet kisses in the shower, but eventually they pulled away.
"Good makeup present?" Natsu asked.
Gray pressed his body up against the firm, fiery chest. "Very good. We can take a break, but there's something more I want to do."
"If you need a break, that's fine. I'm still horny as hell."
Gray shook his head. Really, Natsu's resilience in battle was practically legendary. Seeing that same endurance in their sensual playtime was immensely satisfying.
"I need a drink, that's all. I also need to arrange what I want to use next."
"Oh?" Natsu smirked, and being so close, Gray felt him twitch down below. "What more do you want to do to me?"
Gray stroked his finger down Natsu's nose and rested it on his bright lips. Deviously, he whispered, "You'll have to wait and see."
End of Chapter 29
A/N: Oooh, just you wait until next update! Natsu might catch your screen on fire!
Thanks, Shoe, for beta-reading this behemoth chapter!
It's been pointed out that I tend to stick to Gray's viewpoint. I'm working on sharing POVs more. I found a good thesis on the psychology of submission. I'm a psychological sadist and physical masochist. I like being restrained, spanked, wax and ice and all that fun stuff, but I like ordering my man how I want pain inflicted on me, teasing him psychologically. I can't bring myself to physically inflict discomfort; I just love mentally tormenting him and ordering him around. Some call this "bottoming from the top" or "power bottom" or many other terms, but I prefer "psychological sadist and physical masochist." That's more accurate for me, personally. So while I understand the pleasure of PDR—pain, discomfort, restraint—I don't psychologically understand the mind frame of a "true" submissive. (I use the term very loosely to mean one who fully submits control, not one like me who retains control over the person "dominating" me.)
Because my habits are not the stereotypical dom/sub relationship (really, what is "typical" in BDSM?) it's easy for me to associate with that need to control another person, like Gray, so I tend to stick in his perspective. Up until now, I slip into Natsu's head only as he transmutes that pain into pleasure, like I do when I get my fun dose of PDR. I wanted to switch that in this chapter, get out of my own comfort zone, push myself to understand what Natsu feels as he fully submits, and what Gray feels when he sees the pain/discomfort/restraint he gives to Natsu. It was an awkward experience as a writer, but the following website helped me to understand some of the psychology of being submissive, as well as comprehending my own mentality.
http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Understanding_Submission
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