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Darkness in the Twilight	By : LunarCrystal Category: +. to F > Escaflowne Views: 1998 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
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Darkness in the Twilight

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By Psycho Ferret and LunarCrystal

Resignation

When it came time to go
to the palace, Celena felt apprehensive, and she didn't doubt that Allen felt
just as bad. It was a horrible carriage ride. Allen had alwaiddeidden a horse
to the city, sometimes with Celena on her own mare riding next to him. But it
was very different to pull up in front of the palace gates in a carriage.

�Wait here,� he murmured, and slipped
inside. There, Gaddes led him to a seat
and Allen didn't have to be able to see to know the other knights stared.

He, the most honored, the youngest... there
was something different about him.

�How are you holding up, boss?� asked Gaddes
from behind Allen, since Allen needed to stand with the 12 other Caeli Knights.

Allen shook his head slightly. He would be fine for now. The uniform had once more been donned, the
blood and mess cleaned lovingly from the cloth with many thanks to Celena. He looked as proper and fine as he always
did... besides that vacant look in his unseeing eyes.

�The people have turned to hordes!� cried one of
the Caeli Knights, an older man with dark hair, long as was the fashion of
their country.

�It is true!� said another knight, and the
soldiers were beginning to stir behind the line of Knights. �All they need is
food, but there is none to be had. Your majesty. What do you intend to do in
this matter?�

The king quieted the group of soldiers gathered,
addressing other pros fis first. One of
the other knights had sustained a grievous injury as well. Even though he was there and focused, the
beginnings of gangrene had begun to grow in a festering, horrible wound in his
arm. Later... that would have to go...

And now, so would he.

The man was graceful in his resignation and
Allen tensed visibly in front of Gaddes, his throat tightening. Other injuries were spouted off, though no
others resigned and slipped outside until Allen.

He could feel the king's eyes upon him and he
turned his head to face him, though he could not see the wizened face he knew
very well. Millerna was there, likely,
beside her father as well. A pity that
she, too, had to see him like this.

He did
not hear the king's long spoken speech, full of notifications of glory and
wonder in Allen's �short servitude.� The
blonde felt his heart constrict. All he
had worked to, he had gained and held onto with honor and pride. And after such a short time, it was wrenched
from him.

�...his
untimely resignation...� was all he heard.
Allen had a mind to kneel before the king, with Gaddes' aid, murmuring
his resignation calmly, as if he'd been planning it all along. He didn't have a choice but to accept the
choice gracefully. �What in the world happened? What of the riots?
What . . .?�

�We will return home,� Allen answered stiffly,
continuing to walk towards the entrance to the palace. There was a respectful salute give the the
soldiers there, the same that the knight before him had been graced with when
he'd left. But Allen noticed none of
it. The grief tugged at his heart,
tearing at it. So much for continuing to
live his life the way he had before. The
carriage ride back was stiff silesilent, and when they reached the manor, Allen
didn't argue when Celena helped him out and towards the house.

�You will not talk to me,� commented Celena,
�You have changed. You resign to my aid and do not speak.� But in her sorrow,
she'd failed to tell him when they'd reached the steps of their home.

Allen managed to catch himself on the banister
as he stumbled and stayed there for a long moment before slowly sinking to his
knees. His shoulders slumped forward,
uncaring of the dust and dirt that once more marred the pristine uniform. He didn't care anymore. It didn't matter.

�Resign... he... I was forced to resign,� he
muttered, his voice trembling. Here, no
eyes would stare, but for his sister's and those few servants they kept there. His shoulder's shook, his hands trembling as
they clutched themselves to his chest.
Oh, and the ache would not fade, would not even begin to wane.

Celena crumbled, felt her soul shrivel up and
wilt. With his words, everng ang around her but her brother melted away. She
fell next to him, and could not stop the tears that were already flowing. �No,�
she breathed, her voice shaking and the word wavered, �No, it cannot be . . .�

She could not stop herself from sobbing, or
from embracing her brother. �Allen, it cannot be true...�

�Lost it... I... I've lost everything except for
you,� he whispered, clinging to her in an almost frantic manner. His head was bowed, long hair slipping over
his shoulders to hide the tearildiilding in unseeing eyes. He'd lost it...

Everything he had become was gone. He had fallen further than he'd ever
expected. Ever. He >He had no title now, he had nothing...
nothing except a reputation now spoiled by his blindness, his own loathing, and
a few, scattered friends who were still loyal to him. But how long would that last, even?

Celena sobbed, and was comforted that Allen held
her. She felt his distress, his tears falling upon her own cheeks. Such was the
way of the Schezars . . .

�We are
cursed . . .� she breathed. Her arms tightened around him, her tears soaking into
the leather and silk of the uniform of the Caeli Knights.

Allen would not have believed such a thing a few
short months ago. But now...

The blonde knight whimpered softly, burying
his face into her shoulder. They had
only each other, now. The uniform once
worn with pride, carefully kept clean and unmarred... he didn't care. The dirt and tears that soaked into it went
ignored, the sword at his side... that didn't matter either, in the end, did
it? He didn't have a reason to fight
anymore.

Which left him questioning just why he was
still alive. No, Allen was not looking
for his death, he was not going to take his life himself... at least not
now. He still had Celena to take care
of... or rather, she to take care of him.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment, or
rather, Celena did not know how much time had passed as they sat on their front
steps and cried the sorrow out of their hearts. The sun had begun to set, and
it seemed thelenelena could cry no longer. She cupped Allen's face in her
hands, gazing up him painfully with her own sapphire orbs, before kissing his
tears.

�We
must go inside, Allen.� And she kissed his nose, snoodling him and feeling the
chill of the night as it was about to descend.

Allen miserably, wearily allowed himself to be
led inside and to the parlor where he sat heavily, numbly down on the
couch. He clasped his gloved hands
before him, staring bly aly at them for a long moment.

The tears had dried away and stopped by then,
his head bowed, blonde hair slipping over his shoulders. It was so hard to believe, so difficult to
pass off as reality. In such a short
amount of time, he had everything ripped away from him, as if by some vicious
god seeking vengeance.

In the next few days, there was a silent fog
around their home. The fog was not uncommon to the manor, being so close to the
shore. But it was as if the area, their home, was reflecting the heavy feelings
that filled the Schezar manor. Allen's uniform was folded and put away lovingly
into a chest, but it was as if some part of him died that day he was forced to
resign from the knights.

Celena didn't know how to deal with his sudden
melancholy. Even when he was told of his blindness, it seemed he still had something
to live for and retained some sort of happiness to work towards a goal. What
goal did he have now? Why would he need to fight? Allen had kept to his rooms
for whole days, and it was only when Celena forced him to his feet and dragged
him into the bathing room that he bathed at all.

It was only when Celena insisted that his hair
be brushed that he was sit dumbly and allow her to brush his hair. The fog was
unrelenting, and it drifted across the hills and through the trees of the
forests just beyond their manor courtyard. As children, they had loved to play
in fog � even though it had been cold and their mother scolded them for it. But
they had loved to hide it in, and Allen especially finding joy in sneaking up
on his little sister.

But that was when they were young. There was a
grim determination in Celena, aside from training with Gaddes without her brother�s permission. All she
really wanted was to see his carefree smile again. After she had come home,
there was hardly a day that went by when Allen did flash her a kind smile. In a
confident pace, she went to his rone one day, walking in without knocking. It
didn�t matter anymore. She was the only one to ever visit his rooms.

�Allen,� she said with forced delight,
plastering a smile on her face despite the bedraggled appearance of her
brother. �I was thinking we could go for a walk outside today.�

Gaddes was worried about Allen. It was as if the energy that had lingered,
the charisma, everything about him just... faded. Even if Allen wasn't a knight anymore, Gaddes
still cared, he still came by nearly every day to talk to Celena, to check up
on how he was doing. Even if it was the
same answer every day.

Allen preferred his silence, drawing away from
others. What did he have left, after
all? There was no honor in being forced
to resign, especially so young. But it
was fitting, wasn't it? The youngest
knight to be accepted an the youngest knight to resign. Allen grew bitter, loathing. The only constants he had were his
moroseness, his sister and Gaddes. It
wasn't enough. After the loss of his
sister, Allen had craved others needing him, had needed to be wanted, and that
desire had carried over even after Celena had been returned to him. But who would he help now? He was just a cripple...

He
was aware that at first, some of his fellow... nae, once fellow knights of
Caeli visited him, but they had long since stopped when they'd seen the
bitterness that had knotted inside of him.
When he spoke of not wanting anyone's pity, especially theirs.

Sometimes
when he couldn't sleep, as it had become recently that he could not, he would
glide outside of hism anm and wander aimlessly, eventually finding himself
crouched next to the chest that held his uniform, one pale, ungloved hand
brushing against the surface of it.
Memories. But they were all
broken and charred, locked away.

Allen
used to love taking walks, especially in the fog. Sometimes, after Celena had been taken, he
would wander into the fog and stay there, listening and hearing her voice, her
laughter until someone from the manor would fetch him and bring him
inside. But now... what use did he have
for walks? He could not see the
countryside now, nor the smile on his sister's face. He couldn't walk about the city to make sure
things were alright. He didn't have that
duty anymore. He didn't... he didn't
deserve it.

He was just a cripple after all.

And thus, he stayed silent... what was there
to say to her offer that had not been said before? He would not argue it if she chose to take
him. And he would not argue if she left
him to his bitterness. It didn't matter
any more.

She carried his cloak draped over her arm as if
she'd already been expecting him to agree. . . as if he didn't have a choice.
And when Celena put her mind to something, it ended with him in fact not having
the choice. The garment was thick, heavy wool to keep out the chill, and
without so much as a warning Celena dropped it into his lap.

�Not that you have a choice in the matter,�
she finished, her tone a bit clipped in annoyance.

Allen sighed softly. Of course he 't h't have a choice. When did he ever have oiceoice in anything
nowadays? Now, even she was being short
with him. Of course, he couldn't blame
her... and deep down he knew it was his own fault. He couldn't blame anyone else for that.

Celena had already donned her own wool cloak, a
brooch at her clavicle. Her brother followed silently behind her, downstairs
where they stopped in the foyer before the front doors. She saw the forgotten
cane upon the wall, took it, and pressed it into Allen's numb grasp.

�Please,
Allen,� she told him gently, �Stop being stubborn.�

Allen had a mind to argue, but his lips stayed
shut. Of course, they rarely
didn't. He paused for a moment, then
relented and curled his fingers about the cane.

Pride...
he didn't have any of that left.Allen sighed, turning his head away
slightly. He wasn't sure. He wasn't really sure why he wasn't talking
to her.. or anyone else for that matter.
Sometimes there'd be snatchings of replies from him, though rarely, and
hardly ever long at all.

Celena had already led him deep into the forest,
where the smell of the ocean was strongest. They were near their family�s
private beach inlet. More fond memories flashed through her mind, but she had
to push them aside. She wrenched her arm free of her brother's dependant grasp,
something of a low growl emitting from her throat.

�If
you do not speak to me, I will leave you here to find your own way home.� she
threatened angrily.

It brought him some amusement to think of... and
wonder if she really would. Allen walked
quietly forward until he felt the packed sand give way beneath his boots and he
sat own, tugging his knees to his chest.

Would it really be so bad, after all? It would be easy that way... she could just
leave him there. A test of his will,
perhaps? A test to see if he wanted to
die or not? He hadn't yet decided. As time had gone on, the bitterness was
wretched and ate at him constantly. It
was not a happy existence. So what did
he have?

Sobbing and sniffling, she managed to crawl to
him on the sandy beach, grasping him as she cried more tears. She had failed
him, it seemed. There was nothing she could have done to bring him back from
his silence.

Even as she pleaded, �Please, Allen, speak to
me, speak to me. Say that you love me, tell me that you hate me, anything!� she
came to understand that it might all be for naught.

It might soon be the end, she had realized.
There was only so much pain her heavy heart could bear. It was slowly reaching
it's limit. Celena had felt her brother's life ebb like the tides before her
own weeping eyes. Resigning from the royal regiment was one thing - but if she
didn't do something soon, she felt he might resign his life entirely.

Allen could do naught but tug her close with an
arm when she came to him. He had no
words to spare, wisely keeping his mouth shut.
If he spoke, it would make things worse.
He had nothing kind to say.

Surely the king had known what losing his
knighthood would do to him. But then
again... they were all just pawns to him, weren't they?n
sn
style='mso-spacerun:yes'> They were there to do his bidding, follow him
without question. Surely... Allen had
been replaced by now. Replaced and
accepted by the other knights, just as they had accepted him when he replaced
another. It was their way.

It hurt to think of how expendable they were,
all of them.

�If you do not speak,� managed Celena once her
weeping gave her a headache, �Then I will not only leave you, but I will leave
the manor and join the knights in your place.�

Her voice betrayed her and showed her
devastation, but it had a low quality to it that suggested danger. Standing
quickly from him, she was already marching away. Deeply in her soul, she
pondered at her secrets - and silently wished that he would stop her.

Allen shuddered at her cold brush, turning his
head away. He couldn�t hear her
leaving. He should stop her... he should
call her back and tell her how sorry he was, tell her how much he hurt, tell
her what a mess he was... but he couldn't.

A knot forced itself into his throat and would
not budge.

�If anything,� she said lastly before she was
out of his earshot, �I'll join Asturian forces. It might be a pleasant thing to
be away from your damnable bitterness and cruelty.� She didn't really want to
go back to their home yet, to pack or do anything. For the time being, she
settled herself to wandering the forest - to finally have some peace and time
to herself.

Thoughts of the Caeli Knights had once been
dreams to her. How her soul had begged to wear the proud blue and white uniform
her brother donned when he was on duty. Even now, should couldn't help but feel
a twinge of guilt in indulging in that dream, so close to making it real. Since
childhood, her brother chided her for wanting to be a swordswoman. The dream wasn't
so wrong - and now it felt like her only way to escape her sorrow - Allen's
sorrow.

Allen tugged his knees tightly to his chest,
bowing his head. Now... this damned run
of horrid luck had run his sister away, as well.

Nae...
not bad luck. It was his own fault. Because he couldn't do anything anymore,
because he'd said nothing, because he'd been a selfish little git that couldn't
see past his own aches and worries and sorrows to see those he was causing in
another. Namely, his sister.

He'd known he'd been hurting her all along,
but he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. Pressing the palms of his shaking hands to
his eyes to attempt to keep the tears from falling, he curled up where he was,
miserably. He knew the forest well...
but there were visual signs he used to navigate it. He couldn't now. He couldn't find his way back.
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Darkness in the Twilight