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Not Quite Worthless	By : Scathach Category: +S to Z > Trigun Views: 6672 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Shaid, Shiro Ryu; It�s nice to see reviewers from my Inu
Yasha fic. Yay! Extra special thanks to y�all.

TeaRoses: I�m not planning on a Knives/Millie�I just don�t
see it happening with Knives as I�ve written him. Besides, I think I�m too much of a Wolfwood fan to let anyone
else have his girl�no matter how unfair that is to Millie. How selfish does that make me?

Chapter 3

Almost a month had passed since Meryl had been shot. She was almost
fully recovered, although she still got tired more quickly than anyone liked.
Both she and Knives had been recovering under Millie's tender tyranny. No
longer working at the well, she had made it her life's min ton to make sure
that neither of her charges overexerted themselves. And by the same token, when
she decided tender muscles needed to be exercised in order to regain their
former strength, then damn it-it was time to exercise.

Knives had started going to work with Vash in order to help with
the household expenses as Millie's pregnancy advanced. He worked part time,
because that was as long as he could stand being around other people, or so he
claimed. Vash didn't argue, just happy that Knives had agreed to leave the
house at all.

Besides, it had only been a few months. He still didn't completely
trust his brother yet.

Meryl had gone back to her job as a waitress, knowing they would
need the money. If she took her time and didn't carry too many plates at a
time, she found she didn't have to worry about aggravating her injury.

It was one day, when she slammed a tray over a miner's head in
retaliation for his wandering hands that she realized to her satisfaction that
the action hadn't given her more than a twinge.

Knowing that she was on the way back to being her normal violent
self, Meryl went about her duties cheerfully for the rest of the day.

That evening at home, she hummed a tune as she bustled about the
kitchen, helping Millie with dinner.

"What is that racket?" Knives groused as he sat at the
table.

"Shut up, jackass." Meryl said pleasantly. She placed his
plate in front of him with a solid thud. He looked at the food as if unsure of
its safety. But no, it looked fine; she had even put extra onions on his
meatloaf like he liked. He poked at his roll cautiously; it was fresh, not
stale. Deeming his food worthy of his attention, he finally picked up his fork
and began to eat.

Meryl ignored his behavior, having seen it more than once over
their time together. Besides, she thought to herself as the other twin entered,
Vash was much more pleasant to watch.

It would never do to tell him that, of course.

He walked into the kitchen, hair wet from his shower. Finishing the
last buttons on his shirt, he sat down with a cheerful greeting. No matter how
hard work was that day, he always seemed to be able to produce a smile for
their little family.

A few months ago, that would have worried Meryl, given Vash's
tendency to hide his problems behind a false smile. But she could tell that
more and more of his smiles were genuine, and the lines of worry on his face
were smooth more often than not.

It was a simple thing, but the fact that he no longer felt as much
of a need to dissemble around her and Millie almost moved Meryl to tears on
more than one occasion. She quickly hid these unstable moments behind a smile
or a scowl, but she had a feeling she wasn't fooling anyone. Millie was as
perceptive as ever, and Knives unfortunately seemed to share his brother's high
intelligence and awareness, but unlike his brother, saw no reason to hide it.

So, this night, Meryl smiled into her mashed potatoes as Millie
chirped on about her latest doctor's visit and how the baby was doing fine. She
also mentioned her latest letter from home, and how excited her family was for
her. Millie was too honest to lie to her family about the circumstances of her
pregnancy, and while they would have preferred that it happened differently,
they supported her fully, and shared her excitement.

As strange as her current situation was, she couldn't remember
being happier. Looking up for a moment, she watched as Vash played with his
food, drawing his fork all the way out of his mouth. He then held it in front
of his nose, looking at it intently.

"Vash, really," she chided gently. "Don't play with
your food."

He grinned before turning towards her. He brushed his thumb over
the corner of his lower lip, catching a bit of potato he had missed earlier.
Meryl suddenly found it hard to swallow as he drew the thumb into his mouth,
the tip of his tongue just barely visible as he licked the tip of the digit.

"Sorry, Meryl," he drawled. His grin widened at the
flustered look she tried to cover with a disapproving frown. She quickly turned
her gaze back to her plate.

"Stupid!' she muttered, not sure if she referred to the blond
or herself. Another glance up showed Knives watching her curiously, and she
scowled at him before lowering her eyes once more.

Just eat, she told herself.

After dinner, she went to take a short shower, as it was Knives and
Millie's turn to do dishes. Curiously, Knives seemed to listen to Millie, and
took everything she said at face value. At first, he seemed to regard her as a
sort of oddity, like a talking cat or thomas. But it seemed to have mellowed
into a sort of grudging respect.

Although they had tapped a new and plentiful water supply, Meryl
kept her shower short. The need to conserve water was a habit too ingrained to
ignore. Even short, the shower was still refreshing after the day's work.

Even though she was still technically on duty, she had relaxed her
wardrobe somewhat during the evenings, usually wearing a simple dress or loose
top and pants. This evening, she walked down the hall, toweling her hair in an
aqua dress that she had found cheap but secretly loved because it matched
Vash's eyes. It was sleeveless, stopping just above her knees, only hinting at
the delicate frame beneath.

Letting the towel hang around her neck, she came outside and sat on
the porch, enjoying the evening air. She stretched out her legs, and drew in a
deep breath, savoring the feeling of peace. As exciting as it had been
following Vash around, moments like these were few and far between.

Unknown to her, Vash stood at the door, watching her through the
screen. His face softened as she stretched out her arms, as free as any child,
letting down her guards in a rare moment of solitude.

He loved her in that dress, although he'd never said it. The style
was simple, but suited her. He especially loved it because it swirled around
her bare legs, giving her a playful air.

Pushing the door open, he stepped onto the porch. Meryl swung her
head around, startled, her eyes dark in the approaching dusk.

"Do you mind if I join you?" he asked.

"No, not all." She responded.

Vash sat next to her, stretching his long legs down the steps, at
least three steps past where her own stopped. The two sat in a companionable
silence for a few moments, as twilight smoothed into night.

"So how's work?" Vash's voice broke the silence.

Meryl jumped a bit. "Fine�it's fine. I'm glad to be back. We
get the occasional traveler passing through, but it's mostly just
regulars." She cleared her throat. "How's the well?"

"Good." He paused. "It's rewarding to work at
something that benefits so many people." She could hear the smile in his
voice. "I really feel good."

Meryl turned to look at him. "I'm glad. If anyone deserves it,
it's you."

He turned to face her and the curve of his lips prompted an
answering smile from her. "How do you feel? Still stiff?"

Meryl shook her head. "No. In fact, I think I can say I'm
about fully recovered." She smiled to herself, remembering earlier that
day.

"Good." He hesitated. "Meryl, now that Knives is
more or less recovered�I need your advice on something."

Meryl looked surprised. "Of course, Vash."

He fidgeted; it was obviously something bothersome. "He seems
like he's okay now�but I keep wondering if maybe I should take him and
leave."

"Leave?" Meryl said blankly.

"I wonder if I'm just being selfish, by thinking I can have my
brother and my fds ads at the same time. And maybe�maybe it would be better for
you and Millie too."

"Better?" she parroted.

"Well, what if he goes crazy again? I'd just have to leave
then anyway, and by then it might hurt you more."

Meryl could not believe what she was hearing. "You
idiot."

Vash looked back over at her. "Huh?"

"You idiot." She slammed her hand onto the porch for
emphasis. "It's too late. Do you honestly think that Millie or I would be
hurt less by being pushed away now?"

"But�"

"But nothing! You're our friend, Vash. And we'll give you our
help as long as you need it." A sudden thought occurred to her, producing
a lump in her throat. "Do we really mean so little to you that you can
just leave like that?"

Vash grabbed her shoulders, appalled. "No! But I'd rather hurt
myself than either of you."

"Well, it's not just yourself you'd be hurting." She
shrugged off his hold. "How could you think of doing that to me-Millie
after all she's been through? Do you think she could stand to lose someone else
dear to her?" She hoped he hadn't noticed her slip.

Vash's frustration mounted. "I'm doing it to keep you-you
both safe! I'll gladly leave you angry if it means you're still
alive!" As he shouted, he brought his face closer to Meryl's.

lasslass=c1>Her angry brow cleared, and she said calmly, "If Knives goes
back to the way he was, there will be no safe place on this planet. So I might
as well be where I want." She stood, turning to go inside. "I want to
be able to help you, and I can't do it from back home. So don't you dare try to
leave."

With that, she stormed into the house, slamming the door behind
her. Vash sighed, wondering how his plan for a peaceful evening of stargazing
had gone up in flames.

Meryl fumed all the way back to her room. The nerve of that man!
She hadn't nursed both him and his brother back from the brink of death just to
let them run off at the first sign of difficulty. She opened the door quietly,
not wanting to disturb Millie. The other woman was already fast asleep, her
body forming a mound under the blankets.

Not yet tired enough to sleep, Meryl decided to grab a book and
read out in the kitchen. She tossed her towel on the bed, and grabbed a
paperback sitting next to her typewriter. She didn't expect Vash to be back in
for a while, and Knives usually spent his free time in the room he shared with
his brother. Hopefully, she would be alone.

And if that idiot broomhead or his sociopath brother happened to
wander in, then she would simply ignore them.

Meryl curled her legs underneath her on the kitchen chair, leaning
over the book on the table. It was one of Millie's favorite romances, which
meant the sigh factor thr through the roof. She had meant to grab a different
book, but didn't feel like going back to the room now.

The book was set in Earth's Old West, part of what used to be the
United States. The hero was a lone gunslinger who fell in love with the spinster
schoolmarm of a town he passed through. However, after a night of torrid
passion, beyond any of her wildest imaginings, he left her to face his
arch-nemesis, the evil cattle baron who had killed his father and stolen his
family fortune.

Meryl put the book down and sighed. At least she got the night of
passion, she thought sourly. I got night screams, bruises, and sand in awful,
awful places. Eyeing the amount of pages remaining, she could well guess that
the handsome gunman returned victorious, and the two must live happily,
passionately ever after.

Not stuck fabricating letters back to an insurance agency just for
a few bucks a month.

Not stuck as a waitress in a small restaurant, doling out coffee
and backhand smacks in equal amounts.

Not stuck in a surreal existence where genocide skulked and sat
across the breakfast table from cheery motherhood.

Meryl never would admit it, but part of her did yearn for a
romantic ending. Or beginning. Hell, any kind of romance would be nice.

Frustrated, she hurled her arm back to toss the offending book, but
subsided, instead settling for dropping it to the table and shoving it across
the smooth surface. It wasn't the book's fault she had no love life.

If only she weren't so afraid. Sometimes, when Vash looked at her, she
thought she might have a chance. But then he would act goofy, or flirt with
some passing girl, and the moment would be over. She still retained hope from
his whispered words at her hospital bed weeks before-but hope is a fragile
flower, and needs careful tending to thrive.

She thought she was being patient, but she supposed her idea of
patience had to be different from that of a man who had lived for over 130
years.

Sighing, she arranged her arms on the table and rested her head.
Her lashes felt soft as they brushed her arm; she blinked a few times to
prolong the sensation before berating herself for foolishness. The warmth of
the kitchen began to slow her racing thoughts, and she found herself finally
relaxing.

Vash tiptoed into the kitchen when he finally heard her fidgeting
and muttering stop. He smiled as he saw her; upper half splayed across the
kitchen table while her legs were curled underneath her in the chair. With a
gentle touch, he traced the faint shadows underneath her eyes and frowned. She
still didn't sleep as much as she should, although he was glad to see that she
was no longer as frail as she had been at the time of her shooting. She had put
on both muscle and flesh in the past month, and it gave her a healthy glow.

He carefully eased her chair back from the table, mindful not to
wake her. Bending over, he placed one arm underneath her legs (which was quite
a trick, considering how she had them curled up), the other behind her back and
lifted her smoothly.

She took a deep breath, filling her nose with his scent. A small
smile appeared on her face as she nuzzled closer to his chest. Vash felt a
twinge as her small nose burrowed into his shirt.

"Mmm�" she murmured.

He tightened his grip without waking her. Her small body was so
warm, and he was having a difficult time keeping himself from nuzzling into her
the way she way doing to him. Of course, it wouldn't be right for him to do
that, since he was fully aware of himself and she was asleep.

He wanted her to stay asleep for the time being. If she woke up
now, they would fight, and he didn't want to lose the feeling of peace he was
enjoying right now.

Against his better judgment, he sat back in the chair he had just
lifted Meryl from and settled her in his lap. He let one finger lightly trace
over her face and it paused at her lips. She stirred slightly, but didn't wake.
He let out a sigh of relief and sat a few moments more, pretending things were
different.

: She's not worth your anguish. :

Vash didn't bother to turn in response to his brother's mental
statement. : She is. I'm not worth hers. :

: Why do you say things like that? You're worth more than any of
them! :

Vash smiled sadly as he brushed a strand of hair away from Meryl's
eyes. : It's lonely being superior, Knives. I'm tired of being alone. I don't
want to be alone anymore. I don't want to be hunted anymore. I want to live in
peace. I want my friends. I want my brother. :

He finally lifted tortured blue eyes to those of his brother.
Knives looked angry, hurt and confused all at once.

: You have me. I'm here. :

Vash shook his head. : I can't trust you. Not like I used to. :

: Like you used to. Before the abuse, you mean? Before the beatings
and taunts and sideways glances? :

Vash calmly rocked Meryl as she seemed to respond to the silent
tension in the air. Her furrowed brow smoothed out and she subsided, soothed. :
And how much of that have you received here? Meryl and Millie do their
damnedest to take care of you; they have been since I brought you back. :

: Millie is an exception. : Knives grumbled, knowing his statement
for the lie it was.

: And Meryl? :

: Harpy bitch. I don't see why you keep her around. :

: Knives. She risked her life for yours, and she doesn't even like
you. Doesn't that tell you what kind of person she is? :

The other twin was silent a moment. : She just wanted your
sympathy. : He finally offered weakly.

Vash began to grow angry. "And how was she to know she'd live
to enjoy it?" he gritted out quietly. "Your excuses grow weaker and
weaker, brother."

"Your specimens are in no way representative of the race as a
whole." Knives shot back, their argument now verbal.

"What about the doctor? He let us have medicine for you on
credit until we could get on our feet. And the little girl at the bakery who
has a crush on you? You know she always saves you the brownie with the most
caramel and nuts, even though you barely even glance at her or speak. Or
Meryl's boss, who let her keep her job even though she had to be gone for a
month?

"None of these people were moved by fear or hatred or greed.
They were moved by their own kindness and nothing more.&quo:p>o:p>

"And what about Tessla, Vash? What kind of people would do
that to another living being?" Knives was sure this would win him the
argument.

After a pregnant pause, Vash tly tly said, "What kind of man
shoots off his own brother's arm and sends assassins to finish the job?"

Knives looked stricken. For a moment, Vash could see the scared
little boy inside the tortured man his brother had become. The moment was
quickly lost as he turned and left the kitchen. Vash sighed, hoping he hadn't
pushed him too hard.

He brought one hand up to his face, fighting back tears. It was so
hard not to stoop to his brother's level of bitterness, but sometimes he just
couldn't help it. And he was terrified that one moment of weakness on his part
would prove to be the impetus for Knives' reversion.

Suddenly, he felt a small hand wipe away his tears. He looked down
to see Meryl's sleep-fuzzed gaze fixed on him. A small frown creased her brow;
its fierceness diminished a bit by her obvious sleepiness.

"Don't cry, Vash." She murmured. "I'll fix
it�goddamn Knives�make my Vash cry�" As he watched, her hand dropped to
his shoulder, and her eyes closed again, proving she was more asleep than
awake.

Vash didn't know whether to laugh or sigh in relief. He decided
he'd pushed his luck enough for one night and stood up.

"I guess I'd better put you to bed." He whispered. He
dropped a small kiss on her forehead. "Thanks, Meryl." Smiling
broadly, he carefully left the kitchen, mindful not to wake her on his way to
her room.
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Not Quite Worthless