Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Tokio Love Monogatari	By : kamorgana Category: Rurouni Kenshin > General Views: 4092 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Disclaimer: I don�t own Rurouni Kenshin, but the ideas, plots, text and OCs are *mine*.
Tokio Love Monogatari
Of mice and men

We kind of established that I�m the closest thing alive to the Antichrist, thus that I have a lot of flaws, but there is one thing that I never do: give up on something I want. This is why I�m so good at the bargain rat race. When I have my mind set on an item, I just sink my claws into it, and don�t take them off unless to give a little taste of their sharpness to my eventual rivals (more exactly, to their butts). And there was an item that I wanted a lot that summer, more than any bag, shoes or dress, even coming from a liquidation sale: Mr. Wolfish, a.k.a. Saitoh Hajime, international man of mystery.
I might have looked like a complete idiot for letting him go like this, without even a phone number, and getting head over heels for a simple kiss but let�s settle things clearly: a) I was drunk and that slowed my reactions a bit b) I was unexpectedly kissed and that slowed my reactions a lot c) my brain was momentarily unavailable for comments which anyway annihilated my capacity of reaction to start with and d) he didn�t kiss YOU, don�t judge when you don�t know.
I almost forgot the most important: e) I had a plan.
Enishi would tell you that if you have a plan, you have it all. He�s the only person that I wouldn�t like to oppose in a bargain because he�s just too good at getting what he wants (he�s also good once he gets it, still according to Yumi). Except for Tomoe, of course, but she doesn�t count: she doesn�t have to DO anything but smile, and I think that I�ve mentioned already how deadly is that weapon, which should be forbidden by the Geneva convention, by the way. And except for Megumi, because of the scalpel thingy.
Anyway, Enishi doesn�t only have a plan, but a plan B, and another back up plan in case plan B fails, and all this merely for things like getting to see the movie he wants when out with his pals, which means that Sano never has the chance to see any of his favorite comedies but on video. Enishi�s brain is built on the model of a Matriochka doll, and I�m laughing out loud whenever I see the chief of police bragging on TV about getting rid of his organization �for good�. He had better go into the sewers with a flute and hope to get them clear of rodents definitely, or ask Santa Claus for it.
I was hence extremely confident about my situation, because I didn�t only have a plan. As I told you, feminine instinct is the greatest thing: it makes up hugely for the temporary lack of brain. Or even the permanent one: how do you think that so many dumb girls end up rich and famous? Combined with the millenary-old hunting instinct inherited from the cavemen and cavewomen (you see: *this* is useful, hairs aren�t. That�s why they disappeared. Darwin would SO agree with me), it had left a message on my brain�s answering machine: I could let Mr. Wolfish go, because I had a trace. Otherwise, of course that I would have used my bargain strategy and planted my nails into his arms like into a Prada exclusive model, until he gave me a tag with his number, duh!
I thus spent the rest of July and beginning of August on the hunt for a predator. There is nothing more thrilling (and if you dare liken me to Elmer Fudd, you are dead). Retrospectively, I think that launching the Sheena Queen of the Jungle and Indiana Jones looks that summer (of course, a trend per month, clothes get out of date even faster than computers, we *also* have to get the business going, in the fashion world) might have something to do with my state of mind. I admit that I was slightly obsessed. I had reasons to be: once again, he didn�t kiss YOU. So bite me.
It wasn�t difficult to follow the trace, though, because it was the size of a mammoth�s, or, more exactly, of a mammoth�s right and left footprints. Rule number 2 of the hunter: choose the path right, or you�ll end up in a swamp with an empty stomach (or whatever you want to fill). Not that it was a dilemma either. I had examined the options carefully, and the decision was quite obvious.
The right foot was tall, boring, and dating a hyperactive Lolita. De-frozen Fish knew the guy, and if not as intimately as I had first supposed (thankfully), it was obviously quite well. Nevertheless, my for once logical brain told me that it was a red herring, and wouldn�t have led me to the miraculous fishing. First, I wasn�t acquainted well with Aoshi myself, and I was under the impression that he didn�t like me very much (though I wonder why?). I wasn�t sure that he would help me. I didn�t want him to awaken my prey before it had no chance to escape, either (like the dork who always makes a branch crack loudly just when the prisoners are escaping in war movies). Second, the path to walk was Megumi-Aoshi-Saitoh, and a big sandstorm had erased the first print, rending the second unreachable.
Since that memorable night at �Sweet Revenge�, Meg had been MIA for several weeks. So had been Sano, and Enishi�s understanding towards the lovebirds, or more exactly, if taking a more appropriate comparison in the animal kingdom, towards the Rabid Rabbits (made in Yumi) had faded quite fast. The thing that Enishi values the most, after his sister (but you could as well ask the Pope if he values God) is his precious business, and he was definitely back to an attitude fitting his activities. Sano was lucky that he was his friend, which closed the top three of his boss� priorities. I don�t think that Enishi would have gone with a finger, as it�s the tradition in his sector, but would have made proof again of his modern management methods, and demanded the removal of the part(ie)s responsible with the absences of his most popular bartender, otherwise. He�s very practical and goal-oriented. Anyway, before the mice of exasperation had finished chewing the last threads of his patience, Megumi had to prepare a very important presentation and Sano reappeared on duty. What is that saying about innocents? Yes, they have their hands full, and it was definitely Sano�s case, on many, many levels. As for his boxer shorts, he didn�t know that he could thank the sudden importance of lab mice in his girlfriend�s life for them being still full.
Nevertheless, if the male rabbit was out of the hole, the female wasn�t back to her usual routine, and that complicated my task. I�m goal-oriented, too, and no, I�m not selfish. Hey, she was happy: she didn�t need cheerleaders, did she? Though I think that she wanted some: my cell-phone mailbox was stuffed with (*0*)/ messages since the two had hooked up (in every meaning of the term). As well as Yumi�s and Tomoe�s. It was creating some little tensions with the rest of us, and not only because Megumi still felt somehow compelled to share her good luck with us in the middle of the night, but I�ll talk about it later.
I had then to follow the mammoth�s left footprint, which would for sure lead me to the Wolf�s lair. Yeah, that makes no sense, yet as I had the time to let my imagination work, I was hoping that Mr. Wolfish�s anatomy was mammoth-sized in certain places, hence the analogy. We girls are dreaming all the time, aren�t we? Back to the left foot: he was girlie, hyper-emotive, and had a taste in fashion as close to Dior�s, as natto�s smell is close to roses�. And I don�t use that comparison in vain: Kamatari had decided that it would be a �hoot�, if he incorporated natto�s essence (can you even *get* that thing?) in his soon-to-be-launched perfume. I examined whether I should recommend surgical masks as �in� (of course, with a bit of customization) as a disinterested gesture towards the well-being of the population. Maybe then I�d get the Nobel of Peace, before Meg got the Nobel of Medicine. *That* would be a hoot. She would be furious, and that would be a nice revenge for her permanently bragging about all the good sex that she gets. You can�t have your cake and eat it too, after all.
I learnt soon that Kamatari wasn�t acquainted with Mr. Wolfish personally. He was referring to him as �that insufferable man�, with force grimaces. All he knew was that the guy was in business with Aoshi and that if they had been normal, he would say that they were good friends. I tended to agree: Aoshi and �friend� just didn�t blend right in a same sentence, and as far as I had seen, it didn�t fit Mr. Wolfish either. Oh, Misao did know him, yes. Hehehe�you see the path, now? Misao had told his name at the club, and she was much more talkative than her boyfriend (I know, who isn�t more talkative than Aoshi?). She was also less twisted (yes, again) and I could get information without her guessing my ulterior motives. Sometimes, I wonder why I�m not a lawyer, a neurosurgeon, or a yakuza boss. I am clearly a genius, too.
The problem with my Misao strategy wasn�t herself, but her schedule. She was training for the world championships, had like 20 main activities aside, and also had decided to prepare her retirement by becoming a dance teacher. If you want my opinion, this was Aoshi�s influence. She had never struck me as thinking of her future more than 2 hours further. I had met her several times at �Sweet Revenge� again; unfortunately, she wasn�t staying away from the dance floor more than two minutes, time to gulp a glass and to look at Aoshi as if nothing else existed in the world, which made any conversation difficult. No, Mr. Wolfish didn�t show up there (to be honest, that had been my plan A) and I had understood that he was �working�. I never got to be informed on what. I started to suspect that except maybe for Aoshi (re: right foot drawbacks) nobody knew, either. I said maybe, because I�ve always thought that Aoshi pretended to know way more than he did, about everything. Well, no, I think I have told you that he isn�t my favorite person.
I had also tried to get Misao invited to Kamatari�s place, for his Depressive Sundays, under the pretext that she was so cheerful and would get his mood high in a matter of seconds. My evilly clever plan failed: not only Misao had told him clearly that she hated sugary movies, but it seemed that her Sundays were reserved for other physical activities, and that De-Frozen Fish unplugged all the phones. He surely knew that Misao couldn�t refuse to cheer up a friend, factor on which I had counted, too. You get why I find him so annoying? Hence, I had had to endure �Legends of the Fall� and �Titanic� alone (thanks to Meg not being available, for the reason that we all know) and without any chemical support (my other provider being unavailable, and we know why, too). I tried to commit suicide, choking myself on the marshmallow teddy bears. It failed, unfortunately.
Therefore, it was following the Kamatari-Misao-Saitoh path that I found myself, by the middle of August, at the Opera Hall in Ikebukuro, surrounded by a hundred of �petit rats�: Kamatari was in charge of the costumes for a special show, and Misao was helping with the rehearsal, which gave me both a reason to be there, as if innocently visiting a friend, an to catch the girl at her only available time, her work hours.
I had arrived with Kama-chan, and the rehearsal was already going on. The time that he installed the d�cor and that he gave the costume to the dancers, Misao took a break; and we shared a little talk, sipping some tea, in the seats in front of the stage. Without the brats around, the �Swans� Lake� music, and, needless to say, without the idea that Kama-chan has of lakes, swans, and dance costumes, it would have been perfect.
Of course, Misao being a teacher-in training despite her early formation as a classic dancer, which she just confided in me she had given up because it was �too girlie�, the show wasn�t really a professional one. The dancers were the young recruits of the National Ballet, a bunch of 100 teenagers, and amongst them those bearing the hopes of the director, Hijikata Toshizo (an ex-prima ballerina and ex of Kama-chan, imagine Aoshi dressed in blue flannel and always wearing long white scarves) the future-internationally-reputed-bound-to-become-a-legend couple: Sanjo Tsubame and Myojin Yahiko. I had decided that I didn�t like the girl. She was talking (well, moaning between sobs would have been a better way to describe it) with Misao when we had arrived, and when Misao had asked about Kamatari�s Sunday, Tsubame�s tears had dried as soon as �Titanic� had been mentioned. Not that Kama-chan bonding with people is something that I disapprove of, but I wasn�t in the mood for a gush about romanticism. Do you like hearing people say that they love to go to the dentist, when your mouth is still ravaged and swollen by the torturer�s so-called �care�? Yeah, I thought so.
As we were watching the crew installing the psychedelic nightmare that had come straight from Kama-chan�s imaginative brain, I tried to get the conversation on what interested me: Mr. Wolfish, and how to get to him, get him, and get laid at last (well, not in those terms, but that was the general direction). I discovered another obstacle between me and that pleasing perspective. Misao�s discourse was very peculiar: a sentence about the subject of conversation, and a long digression about how wonderful Aoshi was. If I had talked about the reproduction habits of bugs in the Amazonian rainforest, I�m sure that she would have found a way to link it to her boyfriend. Thinking about the way she could, I will pay attention to never mention this topic in front of her. Dentist moments, plus it didn�t get me where I wanted: I was getting slightly impatient, while nodding with a smile.
�I don�t understand why Aoshi, being so sweet, can have this guy as a friend��
Life is full of little enigmas. What *I* didn�t understand was how Aoshi could have friends. As for Aoshi and sweet�All that I could figure out with that combination was an ice-cream. And I wouldn�t try that flavor. I�d rather drink the natto perfume.
�He just makes my blood boil, but Aoshi is so calm and great with��
Well, yes, Saitoh did make my blood boil too, and I would have liked to experiment it further. Which was why I asked her(detachedly) about him, to begin with. Maybe being subtle wasn�t a good idea.
�Luckily, Saitoh wasn�t around lately��
Sob. I knew.
�And anyway, I usually don�t see him a lot; he meets Aoshi when they work. I�ll just have to grit my teeth tomorrow night��
Oho. �Tomorrow night? The girls were talking about going to �Sweet Revenge�. Will you be there, Misao-chan?�
�Oh, no, unfortunately. Aoshi throws a dinner, not really official, but formal�I hate this, because I will have to dress-up and be all girlie, yuck. But well, the way Aoshi looks at me then, makes it worth the deal,� she laughed, doing that bright eyes thingy again.
How can anybody NOT like to dress up? This world is amazing.
�I guess that it must be annoying, and also to bear the conversations of his colleagues, lawyers� talks aren�t easy for the mundane�� I nevertheless answered, falsely concerned.
�Oh, yeah, it is. But this time, it won�t be with his firm, it�s more his own special business. Just a bunch of couples. There will be Enishi and Sayo��
There I was truly compassionate. I�d rather have a tooth removed than meet this girl on my own free will.
�And Saitoh, but as he doesn�t have a girlfriend, I still have to find a woman to invite��
Never say never.
So Saitoh was free, at last, a useful tip. Not that it would have mattered, but that spared me a complication. Usually, I would have found it more interesting, but after the time that it had taken me to get a good lead to him, I wanted results fast.
Still looking at the stage, I allowed myself a little triumphant smile.
Misao suddenly turned to me, her face lighting up, and then she asked cautiously:
�Hey, I just wondered�Listen, you can refuse, but well, rather than asking one of Aoshi�s women partners in the firm, who all hate me in the first place, I would like to�Well, I know that I just told you how annoying is this guy, but�would it bother you to come? Aoshi wants people with class, and you have some, you�re used to this kind of thing. You know all the others, except for Saitoh, and that would make the atmosphere warmer��
With Aoshi in? Me, and the Great Fire of London. But she was looking at me, hopeful, and I regretted my bitchiness. I started to understand how she had melted the Icicle. She was nice, and she was giving me the way to get what I wanted. Not her fault if she had terrible taste in men.
I smiled, sincerely: �I haven�t seen Enishi in a while, except a bit at the club. And if it can help you, it�ll be my pleasure to come.�
She clapped her hands, enthusiastically, and was about to talk when some yelling from behind the stage interrupted her. We stood up, to see Myojin Yahiko storm out, wearing�
Oh, dear. All I can say, to give you and idea, is that Kama-chan had outclassed himself.
�I won�t wear that shit!!!! I look gay!� Yahiko was shouting, his crimson face contrasting with the immaculate whiteness of this costume. Tsubame was on his tail, as well as the other 98 little dance mice. Literally on his tail, because he had, indeed, a two-meters-long silver and white feathered one hooked to his costume. I told you that Kama-chan has a weird conception of swans.
Talking about the devil, he had followed, a conciliatory and devastated look on his face, but he lost it as soon as Yahiko had uttered his sexual orientation as an insult. He ran, roadrunner style, to get one of the long metallic cables that had been used to suspend the elements of the d�cor (recycled garbage bags, and they are really something that I had never associated with the Swans� Lake) made it whoop above his head like a lasso, and probably he intended to whip the little macho with it, but Misao�s empty tea can reached Yahiko�s forehead first, with a big �thud�, provoking the even bigger �thud� of the boy falling back on the stage.
Tsubame, in her fluffy and ethereal pink and golden tutu (did I tell you that Kama-chan spends half of his income on collecting Barbie dolls? *done*) after letting her jaw fall on the floor, or more precisely, on the ton of tulle that separated her from the floor, screamed out as if she had a tooth extracted without anesthesia. She got somehow catalogued in my brain as the Tooth Fairy from then on, though one would have rather believed that she was taking an audition for the part of Juliet. If it could have made her shut up, I would have gladly handed her the dagger. The 98 mice had gone hysterical, running around passed out Feather Romeo and Juliet-ish Tooth Fairy, squealing and crying, and creating the most incredible fuzzy chaos that I had ever witnessed. It looked as if a giant marshmallow machine had exploded backstage, spreading kilos of pastel and nausea-inducing material onstage.
I stared at Misao�s furious face, and I must have looked very surprised, because she retrieved her usual smile, winked to me, and explained.
�Oh, I was also learning kempo when I was a kid. It helped me to canalize my aggressiveness, because classical music and girlie stuff were getting on my nerves.�
Had this girl ever focused on ONE activity at the time? Gymnast, dancer, karateka, and gifted for all, her energy was just�Oh. It crossed my mind that Aoshi was maybe as smart as he pretended to�and more interested in sex than I had thought.
Misao then rushed on the stage, to hug a stunned Kama-chan, and to tell him not to worry about idiotic people. She did like the costumes, she added, and considering her straightforward naivety, she couldn�t but being sincere. Yeah, she did have awful taste, which wasn�t limited to men, obviously.
Yahiko had woken up and was standing again on his feet, while the rest of the crowd was still bawling.
�I won�t wear this gay-looking costume!� he shouted again. Some people never learn, and I took a dislike to him. My friends are also included in the top 3 of my priorities.
I didn�t know why he was making all a fuss about it, to begin with. Male dancers� outfits have never been reputed to be very masculine, although I must admit that when Kama-chan dated Hijikata, we went quite often to see ballets with free tickets, as we did like to ogle at the muscular bodies, and we had lots of fun commenting on the bulges of the guys, revealed through the tights. Real or fake? Yumi tried and she had a fake one, and needless to say that she didn�t renew the experiment. Male dancers aren�t reputed to be very manly either, though Yahiko clearly belonged to the �easy to be the rooster in the ballerina-chicks courtyard� category.
Nevertheless, the why was cleared very soon, since he was going on, his finger pointing at his head, making me think that he was in need for an emergency haircut. I didn�t say anything, though. I have enough with playing the UN in my friends� disputes, so I stick to the principle of non-intervention in foreign conflicts. And he didn�t deserve to be enlightened, anyway.
�This�.this�.No, I won�t accept THIS!�
�This� was a king-sized silver ribbon, knotted on top of his head.
�You are SICK!� he added for Kama-chan, and he shouldn�t have. He wouldn�t have received my tea can, which I had sent to Misao immediately after he uttered the words, on his head again.
Kama-chan blinked. �But�but this was a special command! I would never have mixed ribbons and feathers, otherwise. That�s SO distasteful!�
We all have our principles, after all.
�You dare say that I asked for this?� roared the little (b)rat.
�No, not you��
Some happy squealing filled the hall, and from backstage emerged two identical women. That was how I guessed who they were: Sekihara Tae and Sae, who had just retired from being prima ballerinas and were the main teachers of the National Ballet.
They rushed to surround Yahiko, ruffling his hair and grazing under his chin as people usually do with puppies (probably because of his haircut, which reminded me of Lassie), after pushing Tsubame away without any delicacy. The girl looked as if she was going to faint, and she was choking, her face getting an interesting shade of blue.
�He�s so cute�� one twin was repeating.
�Oh, yes, thanks, Kama-chan, this is just perfect!� the other added.
Yahiko went pale. �You�you asked for this?�
Sae burst out of good-graciously confused laughter. �Ribbons are my guilty pleasure��
As she looked down, I realized that there was also one tied on the bulge. I wished once more that people weren�t so obvious with their weird sexual fantasies. It seems that some people don�t have the same restraint as Kamatari and I, when it comes to being Mrs. Robinson.
Yahiko was shouting again, at the top of his lungs, provoking the arrival of Hjikata, who stumbled on the cable that Kama-chan had still in his hands, adding his own high-pitched squeals to the mayhem. My friend dropped the cable, but the pressure had overcome the security-block system, for sure, because the garbage bags opened and delivered a ton of feathers which fell on the stage like a snow storm, at the very moment when one of the mice finally stopped to mumble and screamed:
�Tsubame is choking!�
�Oh, dear! She�s allergic to birds! Are these real feathers?� another answered.
Great: 98 of them, and yet a combined two-digits IQ. I had thought that this kind of exploit was only possible with models during fashion magazine shootings. Yet, it solved one of my life�s little enigmas. I had never understood why Megumi made experiments on rats for her researches, considering that she operates human brains. But imagining those petit rats and real mice launched in one of her labyrinths for a comparative study, I began to think that it made sense�And I knew whom I would bet on to find the exit first.
After digesting that Guinness book moment, I grew tired of the stomach-challenging chaos and I remembered that I had an appointment for lunch. I hence waved goodbye to Misao, making a sign that I would call her later.
Well, yes, I did call an ambulance before leaving. I should think seriously about that Nobel of Peace thingy, don�t you agree?
***
The atmosphere of the restaurant was radically opposed to the rococo and noisy outpourings of the Opera. Tomoe had chosen the place, and instead of �Cha no Yuu�, it should have been called the Temple of Doom. Not only because thanks to the last issue of my magazine, there were many feminine Indiana Jones wannabes having lunch, but because of the nature of the lunch. A restaurant where, in a twisted play on the words, the main dishes were soups composed of boiled microscopic vegetables aromatized with tea leaves, doesn�t dispose the clients to Misao-like enthusiastic behavior. A gastronome would burst into tears instead.
I approached the keepers of the Grimly Dungeon, if I relied on Tomoe and Yumi�s face to define them as so. The former�s expression was closed, she was immobile, her composure stiffened, and the latter was looking around furtively, blatantly searching for a target to spit her venom on, while casually tearing her napkin into little shreds.
I knew what was wrong with them, but to be honest, I didn�t think that they would be so affected.
Tomoe�s honeymoon (if one can use that term for pre-marital sex) had ended the night when Meg�s trip on the Wild Sex Roller Coaster had begun. Her fianc� had inherited the nickname of Slowpock Rodriguez. Yes, I know, the slower the better�there is nevertheless a limit, and considering that Tomoe fell asleep before the guy was done, we can agree on the fact that it was way past. No, she wasn�t particularly tired that day: Tomoe�s main activities being ikebana and smiling enigmatically, I don�t think that she is prone to exhaustion from her daily tasks. If she had to live one minute of Misao�s life, she would have to take six months of sabbatical to recover. The main problem was that Slowpock needed time to be �in shape� as she was delicately putting, so Kama-chan and I had taken advantage of a Depressive Sunday to give her some tips on how to make the guy�s flag wave hello faster (and if Enishi learns about it, we are dead). But all that she got was a sore jaw. I understood that she didn�t want to ask Meg for some chemical enhancers: I could imagine the infuriating foxy laugh and commiserative look. Megumi is one of those rare persons whom you prefer to have as a friend when *she* has problems. And I had agreed with Yumi: the guy was beyond the power of the Holy V anyway. As always practical and radical, Yumi told Tomoe to drop any hope of even a (^-^) with the Choo-Choo train, but that they had other options to get a Shinkansen (^0^)/ trip at least. The next time when we met Tomoe, she had asserted, a twinge of bitterness in her voice, that unless the guy got an accurate railway map, she was bound to wait on the platform.
�I�m single again,� she said calmly, her eyes fixed on the menu.
I knew before she told us: Enishi�s gloating face, when I saw him at �Sweet Revenge�, the previous day, had been enough of a hint. But why was she so down? If she had been really in love, she could have tried counseling. And it wasn�t as if she broke her engagement for the first time.
�You aren�t alone,� Yumi spat. �By the way, Tokio, did you choose that stupid jungle fashion just to make me feel more miserable?�
Oops.
�I prepared it last month. I couldn�t guess�� I smiled apologetically, but not saying what I couldn�t guess. I didn�t want to end up like the napkin.
Yumi�s problem was Katsu�s sudden disappearance. His album had been bombarded number 1 in the charts, exploding all the records. It was Katsu here, Katsu there, his songs were programmed 24/7 on the radio and on TV, and I had also taken advantage of it, my rag being the only one which got an exclusive interview with him. I can tell you, he was a seller, as my new Chanel evening dress could testify, and everybody wanted a little piece of the cake. Nevertheless, after 3 weeks, and instead of rejoicing of his firework-like entry in the Pop Hall of Fame, he realized that this capitalist success was a threat to his political integrity. His rebel heart was torn between spreading the bad word, which was a Fight, and being part of the system in doing so, which was a Compromise. He finally chose the Che Guevara attitude, and gave up everything overnight. He left for the Amazonian rainforest, to share the life and the combat of the Indians, only leaving a note to Yumi, who had been infuriated since then. Not that his decision put her in trouble on the professional level: everybody thought that it was a PR maneuver, and since Katsu�s decision had created a real cult amongst the rebel wannabe preppy masses, he sold even more, and she got the praises. Not that she was in love with him either. But that left her without good sex; and with all the work that his decision had given her, she didn�t have the time to find him a replacement.
So, between me still not having wolfish sex, Tomoe and Slowpock Rodriguez, and Yumi locked into the Monastery of Momentary Abstinence, you understand that Meg�s little mails weren�t exactly welcomed.
Yet, I also wondered why Yumi was taking it so badly, and all of a sudden. The only time that I had seen her so frustrated�
Oh my God.
�You didn�t???? After I left the club the other day, you didn�t��
She gulped her green tea, and snarled loudly, glaring at the waitresses: �Do you Herbal People have some weed to accompany your tasteless dishes? Or can�t a girl get at least naturally potato-made fucking vodka?�
Rattled, I stared at her. After I overcame my shock, my first thought was that I had been right, followed closely by a huge �yuck�. My next thought was that I had expected Tomoe to show a disapproving reaction at Yumi�s rudeness, but she was too busy contemplating her silent cell-phone, with a sad expression. Good, because she wouldn�t like the following.
�You really did Wu?� I whispered to Yumi.
Instead of driving his uber-cool white Ferrari, the other night, Enishi had used the services of his driver, as he could drink a lot: Tomoe was home, and his annoying girlfriend away, lecturing for once other people on their depravation. Sayo considers nightclubs as the antechamber of Hell. But, as Yumi says, only the Vatican isn�t the antechamber of Hell to her. Enishi invited me to her next birthday party, and if unfortunately they don�t break-up until then, I plan to offer her a book about the Borgias.
Anyway, when I had left the club, Yumi was drunk, and I recalled that she was talking with the small ugly dwarf then. Oh, I agreed with her: I needed a drink to try to dismiss the Kama-chan-ly horrific mental images
But she just looked at me, disdainfully: �I wish I had. At least, I�m sure that I would have managed something. He probably never gets some, so he would have tried to make a good impression in hope to have another round��
�Not Enishi? You wouldn�t be in that state��
That re-awoke Tomoe�s interest into the conversation.
�No, I wouldn�t, would I?� Yumi mocked.
Tomoe�s eyes went to her phone again.
�Who, then?�
It could only be very bad sex. It�s the only thing that can change Yumi into a Tasmanian Devil. I didn�t let it discourage me. It�s in the girls� rules, and she knew it: you have to share the crucial information to spare possible disappointments. So, I kept on fixing her, and, while she finished making confetti out of her napkin, she finally spilled the beans.
�The bouncer��she murmured reluctantly.
That shocked me almost as much as Aoshi�s being in love.
�You slept with Speedy Gonzales???�
It�s the nickname of Chou, and as she said, he�s a bouncer at �Sweet Revenge�. He�s quite funny, but is obsessed with his car. Any girl knows what it means. It�s worse than a guy with a mother complex. You can expect the old cow to die, or arrange her to (especially if you count yakuza amongst your friends) but a Wheeler will always find another one. �Her� chromes, �her� curves�no, they aren�t talking about *you*. And on the physical level, they�re all a disaster. Once, a guy said another feminine name than mine during sex, and I can tell you: you would prefer to be confused with another (pretty and intelligent, preferably) girl, rather than with a 500 kilos iron block, even one with a �firm bottom�. That�s a tad vexing.
Chou was a terrible specimen, spending all his money on collecting accessories to pimp his �darling�, which he called �The Blade�. Personal opinion again: Chou had better get out of the closet. And, aside from the very true saying �big showy car, little lazy dick�, Chou had a well established reputation of considering sex as a car race, �the winner is the first arrived� style. He won permanently, though, of course, he didn�t get to race often.
Yumi and he were drinking buddies, because she knew about his reputation, and I couldn�t believe that she had been that desperate. I was so bewildered that I actually voiced it.
With a new, huge snarl, Yumi retorted: �I didn�t see that the Rabid She-Rabbit was there. Do I need another judgmental person around?�
Oops. Oops. Oops. I apologized humbly, then I tried to cheer her up, and finally, I was saved by Tomoe�s phone ringing. She had mail.
�Megumi again?� I dared ask, checking my own cell. It was the last thing that we needed now, but Meg is a specialist of intervening at the wrong moment. Fortunately for her patients, it�s once more limited to her social life.
�No, it�s Enishi,� Tomoe sighed, letting the phone drop, in a larger than life incarnation of martyrdom.
Oh. So that was it. Tomoe is full of contradictions when it comes to Enishi. When she is engaged, she only wishes that he�s busy elsewhere, so that she can have sex. This is how Sayo hooked Enishi: Tomoe was too absorbed in Slowpock Rodriguez to really pay attention. Yet, she is as possessive as her little brother, and as soon as she is single again she is, detachedly, bossing his love life. Not that she chooses or intervenes: she just makes the girlfriend aware of Enishi�s priorities, and especially, to whom belong the top spot. None of them resisted for very long. I guess she wouldn�t if she liked the girl, but she never liked any of them until now.
Me neither: Enishi has much better taste in his flings than in his serious relationships. Megumi is right; he always ends up with pains in the neck. And Sayo was definitely the worst that we had seen so far. Yumi and I forgot our little riff, united in our dislike of the Saintly Twit.
�A problem?�
�I asked him to come and fetch me, but he can�t right now.�
Yumi and I looked at each other. Being at the antipodes wouldn�t prevent Enishi from showing up immediately at Tomoe�s call, even if she didn�t want to move from the couch, and only asked him to pick the TV�s remote for her.
We were sinking into a stunned silence, when her phone rang again, and this time, she had a very satisfied smile when she checked the screen.
�But he�ll be there in 15 minutes.�
Though I could still feel a bit of contrariety in her stance, she was obviously more into revengeful mode. I had a hint that the dinner at Aoshi�s would surely be interesting (otherwise than sexually satisfying in the end), and I even managed to see the anemic �food� currently in front of me as a good thing: I already knew which dress I would wear, and it wouldn�t allow me to eat much until the next night, if I wanted to fit inside. My good mood recovered, I shared with them the tale of my morning at the opera, which made them laugh. That�s great to have girlfriends: you can share the good and the bad, and these little moments of understanding are something that I treasure.
We could have left the Temple of Doom with smiles on our faces, when Enishi arrived (the view of Enishi, especially in summer clothes, is enough to put a smile on any girl�s face anyway).
Except that Megumi sent us a mail to inform us of her activities during her lunch break. I had it, and I promised myself to find a little way to retaliate.
To be continued:
Natto: rotten soy beans. It smells like stinky feet. The simplest way to consume it is mixed with raw egg, mustard and onion slices. Japanese have lots of fun serving it to foreigners, because very few can eat it�especially as in the Kanto region, it�s a breakfast dish.
Cha no yuu: literally: boiled water for the tea.
Next Chapter: Midnight in the garden of good and evil: Tokio experiences mood changes, and a few other things. Misao gets the good, Sayo gets the evil�Saitoh gets Tokio, and reciprocally.
- 2
- 3
- 4
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Tokio Love Monogatari