At the end of the day

Yuki crept inside the bedroom, closed the door carefully and changed his clothes in the dark. The longer he looked inside the darkness, the more his eyes got accustomed to it and the silhouettes transformed into more clearly recognizable articles after some time.
He knelt himself on the mattress, bending himself over the person who slept next to him. Shuichi was curled into a ball and asleep. But he could still recognize that his little Shu-chan had cried. He carefully touched one cheek of the young singer with his hand. He noticed how innocent and cute Shuichi still looked like when he was asleep. He positioned himself at Shuichis back, curled his arm around the thin waist of his lover and searched for his fingers, just to put his hand over them. The singer sighed and moved a bit, but did not wake up. Yuki put his chin up the head of the pink haired singer. “You can be such an idiot sometimes…” he murmured before drifting into sleep.

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While Shuichi was brushing his teeth, a sleep drunken Eiri made up his way into the bathroom. He headed to the white porcelain toilet and murmured some words which Shuichi could not understand. He spit out the toothpaste and the bad morning taste; put the toothbrush back into its cup while Yuki was emptying his blister. He sighed and greeted Yuki with a quiet “Morning…”
“Morning” was Yukis short answer. He placed himself beside Shuichi and watched himself suspicious in the mirror, and then his glance went over to his smaller lover.
“Why are you finished with your clothes?” He was taken by surprise when he saw Shuichi dressed. He was usually still dressed in his pajamas when they had breakfast together.
“Well, I have to hurry up this morning! I’m really busy today and I have to be at NG in half an hour!”
He distributed a straight marvelous smell of hair spray in the bathroom.
\"And why do you have to go so early?\" but on this question Shuichi answered only with shoulder twitches.
\"Then hurry up with the breakfast otherwise.\"
\"Oh, I already had breakfast. But I thought of you and put everything on the table you need.\"
With a cute smile Shuichi glanced at Yuki, who still looked very confused.
\"What is it? Are you sad cause we can’t have breakfast together?\"
Eiri raised an eyebrow.
\"Dream on, brat. At least I’ll have my peace! Besides, I can’t stand your voice in the early morning; I won’t have to listen to.\"
Shuichi was annoyed by such a comment. Yuki was always so mean; maybe he would have felt better if he left him.
He took a deep breath and turned around to face the door. He remembered a thing he wanted to ask his lover and stopped in the doorway.
“What are you up to?” Yuki hummed and did not look up to meet his lovers’ eyes.
“Nothing special, I wanted to remind you of the fact that we have a concert this evening. I see you then?”
“We’ll see” Yuki still seemed gruffly while he was stretching himself.
“See you there…hopefully…” Shuichi whispered when he left the door to their bathroom shut.

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Shuichi was not able to concentrate on his task. His mind drifted away to Yuki, like always. He hated himself for being such a fool. Yuki was not interested in him, it was not important to him. And he hated that, too. No matter what he did, everything was wrong; he was always annoyed and then he hurt him with words. He could not deny it – he seemed to be still an annoyance for the novelist.

But why, Yuki, why?

“Shuichi! Damn you! You have to concentrate on what you do! Use your voice and sing, you sound like a howling wolf on full moon! Did you loose your passion for this?”
Bad Lucks’ manager was upset and Shuichis mind came back to reality. It was impossible for him not to think about Yuki and his strange behavior. He was used to this, really, but no matter what Yuki said or did to him, he was not able to break up and stay consequent with his decision.
But why did he still stay on Yukis side? Why did he not break up forever and found a new one, who really cared for him?
He bit his lip, fighting back the tears. He did not want to be the little teen boy who cried all the time. He wanted to be an adult. He clenched his hands to fists. It was impossible that his thoughts of Yuki had a bad influence on his work. He could no allow it any longer!

He could not deny his feelings for Yuki. He still loved him, after all, no matter what they had gone through. But was love enough? Did he have to give himself up for the man he loved?
“Shindou-san!” The voice of his manager brought him back to reality again. “We have to complete this today! So clear your mind and concentrate!”
He took a deep breath again. He looked up and was aware of the fact that he had to put all his feelings into this song. Like he was used to it.
Independent, he thought, was what he had to be.

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Yuki sighed and put the newspaper back on the table. It was senseless, his mind read the lines, but did not understand what they meant and he had the feeling like he did not read anything of the newspaper. He nipped at his cup of tea. But I did not taste good anymore, cold and bitter, so the cup landed on the other side of the table. His gaze wandered to the empty chair in front of him. It had been a long time he had to take his breakfast alone. There was no nonstop talking brat, nobody complaining about his need to smoke in the morning. The only thing he could recognize was the ticking of the clock. It was not bearable! He felt like his lover ignored him. Shuichi did not wake him up, did not tell him that he had to left earlier this morning, he did not do anything! It was something Shuichi had never done before. Eiri rose himself off of his chair and remained the bad tasting tea into the rinse and let the cup fill with water.
It was so boring…The silence around him made him got on his nerves, so he decided to switch on the radio.
Lonely! He felt simply lonely in this moment. If he had looked for isolation in former times, then this was meanwhile almost intolerable. Now when he was not around, he missed the brat. No, he missed Shuichi. Although he could be a brat sometimes. Maybe Shuichi was still upset because of the day before; maybe he did not act like the singer had wished him to. Why does his younger lover had to be this sensitive?
And if it would not be enough, Yuki Eiri feeling lonely, the radio played Bad Lucks’ newest song. Nevertheless, he could hear the voice of the singer, a weak comfort for the left alone novelist.
Did Shuichi want to break up with him, again? Or did he try to break free? Break free from what, their relationship, if you call it so?
It seemed like everything had changed into something bad. Maybe it was his own fault when Shuichi tried to live a new life. It was him, who did not act, who thought too much about the consequences, he was not like Shuichi who lived his emotion, who showed them. His character usually did not allow him to.
He began to think about Kitazawa-san and all his fears came up again, everything could turn out, everything could have a sudden end. And he hated his fear of feelings.
Could he put the blame on Shuichi if he decided not to go on with the game?

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„Just wait for me here, I’ll be right back!“ Shuichi clapped his best friends’ shoulder, shifting his legs off the motorcycle, fighting with his hair after he took off the helmet.
“Yeah, hurry up!” Hiro murmured. He did not like to wait for his little Shu-chan when he was going to return to his house, where the blond novelist was waiting. But, like Shuichi was, he forgot his mobile and he had asked him to drive him home before they went out for something to eat.
So he had to wait in the front of the house, aware of the fast that he had to worry about Shuichi if he would take too long to come back. Heaven knows what came to the novelists’ mind!?

Meanwhile Shuichi could make out the sounds coming from Yukis office. So he decided to stay calm as much as he could, he did not want to upset his lover again. He walked into their bedroom, searching for the thing he left there. He quickly took his mobile into the pocket of his trousers and turned around to leave when he was stopped by the figure standing in the doorway.
“Can’t you even say Hello when you arrive home?” Yuki looked tired.
“Hello! I did not want to disturb you at work, Yuki…” He lowered his head and tried to leave the room, but Yuki stopped him, taking his wrists into his hand and pushing the lithe body in the door frame.
His lips wandered around his earlobe right down his neck and kissed him gently.
“I missed you….Shuichi”.
The singer felt the heat coming up in his body, caused by the passionate tone in which Yuki spoke. The novelists’ hands took a journey on the slim body of his Shu-chan, brushing over his back and rested on his buttocks at least. The kiss became more passionate when Yuki brushed the lips of his lover. But Shuichi struggled and pushed Yuki away from him. He did not want to do that right now. He was busy – and he did not want to do it just because Yuki wanted it right now. He pushed Yuki away further and took a deep breath and turned his head to the side.
“I’ve got no time now, Yuki, I’m busy and Hiro is waiting for me outside…” he freed himself from the grip of his lover.
“I just forgot my mobile. That was the reason why I came here. I have to go now” he murmured and walked away from his lover.
He could hear Yuki sighed so turned around to face his lover again.
“I just thought” he began “that you would stay with me for a little while before you go back to Hiro and doing things with him.” He bit his lip, maybe Shuichi noticed his disappointment and that was the last thing he wanted the brat to know.
“I don’t do “things” with Hiro. But I have to go now. Will we see us after the concert?”
“Hm…maybe” Yuki murmured and Shuichi got upset again. He turned around and walked straight to the door, just wanted to leave right now.
“Then it is better you don’t come to pick me up!” he shouted and shut the door with a loud thud.

Hiro could guess that Shuichi again had a fight with Yuki, it was read all over his face when he came out. But he still was surprised that he did not cry that often as it was usual. No, the fewer the two of them had a fight, the more Shuichi became grown up, maybe. Shuichi gripped the helmet and pulled it over his head, curling his arms around Hiro.
“I’m hungry, please start the motor and let’s get away from here!”
Hiro did not pose any questions; so he did as he was told. Shuichi surely planned to tell him what had been going on.

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Eiri tortured the keyboard; senseless seeming words escaped the movements of his fingers on the keyboard. After reading the written sentences on the screen he decided to erase them immediately. This god damn novel, it did not work out!
And he asked himself, why did Shuichi cross his mind all the time? He was not able to concentrate on his novel. Also he had smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. He clapped his forehead with his flat hand a few times and murmured to himself.
“Come on…Think, Eiri, think…” His gaze trailed to the telephone, which stood next to his desk. Should he call him? But why should he?

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Shuichi took a big bite from his hamburger, hungrily swallowing the first bite and smiling satisfied. Suddenly he heard a well-known ring tone and he could make it out directly from his bag, which was placed next to him. With one hand he opened the bag and searching for his mobile. When he finally reached hid, he stared with unbelievable eyes on the display.
Why did Yuki call him now? He felt the anger, he had tried to leave home, growing inside of him again and greeted Yuki with a “Hello?”. He felt really pissed off and hoped Yuki would notice the fact.
Actually, Yuki had no idea what to tell Shuichi.
“Uhm…well…I just wanted to ask…” Yuki scratched his head and tried to create a logical question.
“Well, when is your silly concert going to start?”
Shuichi looked confused, Hiro had to bit his lip not starting to laugh and he coughed after he swallowed too much of his coke.
“Yuki, I told you twice!” Shuichi answered weakened.
It was one of those moments in which Shuichi noticed, that Yuki was never interested in what he told him.
“Then tell me the third time, I forgot it!” Yuki yelled and could firmly see Shuichi rolling his eyes through the telephone.
“At 19 o’clock, do you think you can remember the right time now? So what, will you pick me up after the concert or not?”
“Don’t act like a little kid, Shuichi. When you’re shouting at me, forget it!”
“I have every reason to be angry with you, you never listen to me!”
“Baka…” Yuki murmured and closed his eyes. That was not what he imagined when he decided to call Shuichi.
“You called me, did you!?” Upset, Shuichi threw his mobile back into his bag.

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Eiri sighed. He could not stop himself from being mean to the singer, although he had no reason to be. And that was all because of his problem to tell Shuichi a reason for the call.
He would go to the concert if it was what Shuichi wished for, when this would calm him. His lover simply had to cool down.

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“That was really entertaining, but would you tell me the reason?”
Hiro said calmly while trying to get the last drops of his coke from the soil of the bottle.
“That was nothing. I don’t want to talk about it” Shuichi grumbled and leaned back, focusing his eyes through the window.
It hurt him. It still hurt him. Everything appeared senseless. This whole “thing” with Yuki suddenly seemed to escalate. Or was it simply the fact that he himself had changed so much? He remembered the old times; he had always put the blame on himself. Meanwhile it became clearer to him, that Yuki was still cold and he did not want to take it anymore. He just wanted to be loved, nothing more. That was all he had ever asked Yuki for. Why didn’t he want to give him that?
Hiro fetched him back from his thoughts.
“You’re daydreaming again, Shuichi. Let’s go now, we’re late again.” He tipped on his watch to give his words more importance. Hiro was right, they had to go and prepare themselves for the concert to come.

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The novelist tried to look comfortable and cool. Shuichi would search in the audience and finally find him in the crowd. Well, it usually went this way and then he could see the shine in Shuichis eyes. Did he still expect that to be?
He lit another cigarette, inhaled the nicotine deeply and tried to calm himself. He was nervous and that was not a good thing. It was nothing Eiri liked to be. Also there was no reason to be nervous. It was a concert. Nothing special anymore.
But he had to apologize for his behavior. And if he finally said sorry, Shuichi would jump through the room and got on his nerves again. And if he let out his feelings, Shuichi would stay calm at least.
He would be happy for the rest of his life, maybe. He smiled and withdrew his cigarette. It would be easy for him to get admission to see Shuichi backstage as everyone knew he was together with the vocalist.
He would stay calm, looking incredibly cool and Shuichi would love him for that. The moment he would tell him how childish his behaviour was. But that was a fact about Shuichi he really liked. It was great to be loved so much by another person. He took a look on his watch and decided it was time to get in, the concert had to begin.

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Shuichi stared into the mirror, watching the person inside. He did not really prefer this outfit, but if it was what the fans wanted to see…He placed himself on his chair and took a sip from his water. He was so thirsty…He took a look on his watch. Had Yuki decided to pick him up? Did he come to see the concert?
He hated himself for his thoughts. He was about to have a concert, he had to concentrate on his voice, the lyrics and the music. Not about Yuki Eiri. He was an independent personality, he could not depend everything on Yuki. He really loved him, but it was not possible to go on like it was.

Yuki looked up when somebody announced the band everybody was waiting for. Shuichi had lowered his head and took the microphone into his hand. It was obvious for Yuki he tried to concentrate on what he had to do. Did he still think about their fight?
He felt bad, why did the little brat take everything so personal. He was not able to forget and always blamed himself.
Shuichi took in a deep breath, tried to forget his negative thoughts and began to sing. The words escaped his lips easily and after a few lines he got more comfortable with the situation. And after a few more words, he began to return to his own little world. The world of music.

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Eiri was not sure if Shuichi had seen him or not as it looked like he was even not looking for his lover. He felt disappointed, smoked his cigarette and walked straight to the entrance to see his baka backstage.
Fujisaki was always fast on his way home after a concert, so he had left early after their appearance. Hiro took his time on that evening, too, and he was waiting for Shuichi to say something. He did not tell him what has happened between Yuki and him, and he was sure his friend was about to tell him after the concert.
He pulled the shirt over his head and then looked back to his best friend, who was still sitting quiet on his chair.
He had given everything on this concert, he had lived their music – and his voice was better then any time he could remember.
”I feel so bored” Shuichi yawned and leaned back on his chair. Hiro took this as an effort to take a seat in front of his friend.
“The thing with Yuki, I don’t think my nerves can take any more of this.” He sighed and massaged his forehead as he was trying to avoid a headache.
“What has happened?” Hiro was worried.
“Ah...“ Shuichi shook his head, but he knew he could not hide anything from Hiro.
“I can see you feel bad, so tell me!?”
Shuichi could not stand Hiros gaze, so he decided to tell him everything.
“I don’t think I can stand it anymore, Hiro. Everything about us is so…difficult. It hurts so much that your lover is not interested in you and what you are doing. There are a few moments I think he really feels the same way I do. But most of the time he calls me idiot, moron, baka or brat. And that hurts, you know?” He sniffed and continued. “Most of the time it’s like he is happy when I’m not around. He can be lovely, nice and everything, but never when I want him to be.”
He could not hold back his tears so he started to cry.
Hiro took him into a tight embrace, he hated those moments Shuichi cried for Yuki. The man was not worth to cry all the time. Shuichi needed someone who really cared for him.
It was cruel to see his little Shu-chan crying and sighing all the time.
“I want this to stop” he whispered and looked into the worried eyes of his best friend.
“You don’t have to cry, Shu-chan. I’m here and I will always be.”
He smiled, although he did not knew if it looked real for his friend, but then Shuichi smiled too. Hiro stopped another tear which was falling down the cheeks of his best friend.
“You need someone who really cares for you” he whispered and leaned forward, cupping the head of Shuichi with his hand, taking a long and deep look into the sad eyes.
Hiro did not want to stop himself now. He needed the near of the singer, he longed for it. He was so much attracted by him. His face came nearer and nearer to Shuichis’.

The singer also could not take his eyes from Hiro. There was so much love in his eyes, he had to do what Hiro wanted. He felt a wonderful burning inside of him as their lips met. Hiros lips were so soft and warm, incredible. He closed his eyes and sank fully into the kiss, opening his mouth to give Hiro a better chance to try and taste more of him.
Slowly, Hiros tongue invaded the hot and sweet mouth of his friend. Little fireworks were exploding in Hiros stomach and heart.
“Mmmmmmhmmmmm…” Shuichi enjoyed the kiss as it increased more passion and speed. He pulled Hiro nearer, wrapping his arms around his best friends’ neck.
Hiro also kept his eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of being with Shuichi. He was so warm, so sweet, so lovely. None of them wanted to break that intimate moment.

“Well!” a voice suddenly broke the silence in the room, Hiro and Shuichi turned around in shock. Shuichis eyes went wide as he saw Yuki standing in the doorway, his finger still holding the handle. He had narrowed his eyes, which showed how angry and wild he was inside. Shuichi looked confused and caught. He pushed himself away from Hiro, stood up from his chair and tried to explain.
“Yuki…” he started, his voice broken.
“You don’t have to apologise, idiot!” Yuki tried to calm his voice. “You can do whatever you want, even that means fooling around with your friend. Now don’t make me waiting any longer and come with me, or you can take a ride on the bus. Or your little friend will drive you home!”
He gave Hiro a look full of hate, his disappointment obvious to everybody inside.
Shuichi quickly packed his things into the bag, gave Hiro a helpless look.
“Sorry...“ was all he could say to him before he left with Yuki.

He seemed so upset Shuichi had never seen him before. How could he have done this to the one he loved?
All the things he had wanted to change were forgotten. Now he just cared how to calm Yuki. He felt so bad, what was about to happen when they arrived home? Would Yuki tell him to leave? His heart raced and he knew he had to apologise…

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Hope to receive some reviews ^^ I know, my English is bad :(