Ranma's Horrible Histories
folder
+M to R › Ranma �
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
8,306
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
+M to R › Ranma �
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
4
Views:
8,306
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Ranma, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Babar
Chapter Three
Babar
'Beer' helping ugly people get laid since 3000 B.C.
Ranma was hot, tired, bored, and worst of all in his mind hungry. He was so hungry that he could feel his stomach growling. It sounded like he had swallowed an entire dog. So he decided to solve this important problem and clutching his growling stomach, he began to bounce his way away from the big stone temple complex into the New Kingdom Egypt of the 18th dynasty.
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
Slowly Pluto was fishing through the gates of time looking for anything to help her find 'The Brat' as Ranma has been labeled in her mind. So far, she had ruled out before 10,000 B.C.e and after 1000 C.E., which just left eleven thousand years to search. 'Easy.'
'I hope the brat isn't getting into any trouble.' Setsuna had just made a big mistake. She had just invoked Murphy's Law, or as those who come to know and fear Ranma knows it as 'Ranma's Law.' 'Ranma's Law' means that any chanced statement or fear will come true at the worst possible moment for the speaker, especially around Ranma.
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
Everything that Ranma could see was green, bright, and so close to the big river. A path had lead down to the river from the temple and he could see a whole lot of big lizards swimming around that kind of reminded him of the crocodiles Pop has used for his training the year before. And every so often, he saw these big gray balloons floating down the river. They just seemed to bounce along with the tide. Ranma watched them float down the river with the tide and had an idea.
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
Bast had finally passed through the godly equivalent of immigration and appeared in a puff of smoke from the incense floating at her temple in Thebes, above her gold inlayed statue. So the poor temple maid Kaerl, who had been complaining about cleaning up after four hundred cats and wishing she had let her mother talk her into letting her marry the potter, was shocked out of her wig and abasing her self on the ground as soon as she saw the cat headed Goddess.
"Ohh, I forgot how hot it is. Some one gets me a cool drink."
Kaerl squeaked and rushed out of the altar room and was back faster than the deity could step down from her position over the statue. Kaerl rushed back into the room with a leather mug and raised it too her goddess. Bast sniffed at the smell then took a short sip from the mug.
"Hmm Egyptian Beer just like I remember. Now where was I?" The goddess pulled from her folded linen gown what looked like a wax tablet.
Kaerl watched in stunned silence as her god talked to herself
"The disturbance was near Giza. I really should go straight there, but I want to check out the new market stalls in Luxor. Oh well it will still be there after I finish shopping."
The goddess finally noticed the trembling girl at her sandaled feet. "Mortal how do you feel about linen versus cotton?"
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
The fishermen of the Nile had seen many strange sights but all would agree later over a cool mug of beer that what they saw that day was the strangest. Floating down the river was a Hippo but what was strange about this hippo was that a small foreign boy dressed all in white was sitting on the man-eaters back poking it with a long pole and singing.
"I'm a pirate and I poke things. I'm a pirate and I am the best. I will take all your food because I am so hungry." Every so often, the hippo would go diving or wandering towards the bank but would be stopped by the little magician. Because that is what all the fishermen believed, the foreign child to be would prod the hippo with his staff and shout at it. "No! Bad Babar! We are river pirates and must stay on the river."
No one dared approach the strange float for fear of the Hippo and its magical master. All agreed that after a few more beers they would never talk about it again.
Ranma was having great fun after he had caught the elephant and floated down the river. Sometimes a crocodile would try to bite his new pet but he would just bop the toothy maw on the noses and it would go away. He was having so much fun being a pirate he just wished he could find some food. Then he saw it a little town.
The buildings were small and made of white mud. He had seen lots of people in the streets around the towns market, and then they had seen him and Babar. He waved and shouted hello, nearly falling off his new pet. However, for some reason they all began to run away. He had no idea why.
When he finally reached the wooden pier of the town and still sitting on the back of his pet elephant Babar he let the hippo walk straight through the town.
All villagers were long gone and left their market behind. Ranma saw the vegetables and loaves of bread spread out for the market.
"FOOD!"
Leaping from the hippo, he rushed towards the Egyptian bread. Before the hippo could realize what was happening Ranma was stuffing the hand ground bread into his mouth and spitting it out.
"Oww! Stones and dust that's not nice. I want food." Clutching the garnet rod in one hand, he prodded the food at his feet and scowled. It had tasted nasty filled, with sand, and it had been stale. Ranma was upset he had traveled 3500 years and he was hungry. The hippo who by now had realized the tiny menace that had some how been making it swim down the river and not let it bite the pest was now off his back and standing in front of him.
The hippo's brain slowly began to turn and came to one conclusion. 'Squish.'
Ranma was angry and he was hungry. So poking the bread Ranma began to mutter under his breath and wished that he could have McDonalds, yummy salty greasy McDonanlds, and not stinky old bread. Chibi-Ranma could almost taste the cheeseburgers and chocolate thick shakes. His stomach protested at his imagination. In addition, someone or something heard him.
At that moment the most surprised person was not Sailor Pluto, who watched her time gates turn orange again as she was looking for 'The Brat,' or Bast who felt a disturbance in her world and dropped the makeup palette she was holding, or the staff of the down town branch of Cairo's McDonalds, who found their shop a thousand km south and 3500 years in the past, or Ranma who found himself inside the air conditioned fast food outlet.
It was the angry hippo who had decided to stomp little Ranma and ran face first into a plastic replica of a seven foot clown.
Babar
'Beer' helping ugly people get laid since 3000 B.C.
Ranma was hot, tired, bored, and worst of all in his mind hungry. He was so hungry that he could feel his stomach growling. It sounded like he had swallowed an entire dog. So he decided to solve this important problem and clutching his growling stomach, he began to bounce his way away from the big stone temple complex into the New Kingdom Egypt of the 18th dynasty.
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
Slowly Pluto was fishing through the gates of time looking for anything to help her find 'The Brat' as Ranma has been labeled in her mind. So far, she had ruled out before 10,000 B.C.e and after 1000 C.E., which just left eleven thousand years to search. 'Easy.'
'I hope the brat isn't getting into any trouble.' Setsuna had just made a big mistake. She had just invoked Murphy's Law, or as those who come to know and fear Ranma knows it as 'Ranma's Law.' 'Ranma's Law' means that any chanced statement or fear will come true at the worst possible moment for the speaker, especially around Ranma.
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
Everything that Ranma could see was green, bright, and so close to the big river. A path had lead down to the river from the temple and he could see a whole lot of big lizards swimming around that kind of reminded him of the crocodiles Pop has used for his training the year before. And every so often, he saw these big gray balloons floating down the river. They just seemed to bounce along with the tide. Ranma watched them float down the river with the tide and had an idea.
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
Bast had finally passed through the godly equivalent of immigration and appeared in a puff of smoke from the incense floating at her temple in Thebes, above her gold inlayed statue. So the poor temple maid Kaerl, who had been complaining about cleaning up after four hundred cats and wishing she had let her mother talk her into letting her marry the potter, was shocked out of her wig and abasing her self on the ground as soon as she saw the cat headed Goddess.
"Ohh, I forgot how hot it is. Some one gets me a cool drink."
Kaerl squeaked and rushed out of the altar room and was back faster than the deity could step down from her position over the statue. Kaerl rushed back into the room with a leather mug and raised it too her goddess. Bast sniffed at the smell then took a short sip from the mug.
"Hmm Egyptian Beer just like I remember. Now where was I?" The goddess pulled from her folded linen gown what looked like a wax tablet.
Kaerl watched in stunned silence as her god talked to herself
"The disturbance was near Giza. I really should go straight there, but I want to check out the new market stalls in Luxor. Oh well it will still be there after I finish shopping."
The goddess finally noticed the trembling girl at her sandaled feet. "Mortal how do you feel about linen versus cotton?"
ranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranmaranma
The fishermen of the Nile had seen many strange sights but all would agree later over a cool mug of beer that what they saw that day was the strangest. Floating down the river was a Hippo but what was strange about this hippo was that a small foreign boy dressed all in white was sitting on the man-eaters back poking it with a long pole and singing.
"I'm a pirate and I poke things. I'm a pirate and I am the best. I will take all your food because I am so hungry." Every so often, the hippo would go diving or wandering towards the bank but would be stopped by the little magician. Because that is what all the fishermen believed, the foreign child to be would prod the hippo with his staff and shout at it. "No! Bad Babar! We are river pirates and must stay on the river."
No one dared approach the strange float for fear of the Hippo and its magical master. All agreed that after a few more beers they would never talk about it again.
Ranma was having great fun after he had caught the elephant and floated down the river. Sometimes a crocodile would try to bite his new pet but he would just bop the toothy maw on the noses and it would go away. He was having so much fun being a pirate he just wished he could find some food. Then he saw it a little town.
The buildings were small and made of white mud. He had seen lots of people in the streets around the towns market, and then they had seen him and Babar. He waved and shouted hello, nearly falling off his new pet. However, for some reason they all began to run away. He had no idea why.
When he finally reached the wooden pier of the town and still sitting on the back of his pet elephant Babar he let the hippo walk straight through the town.
All villagers were long gone and left their market behind. Ranma saw the vegetables and loaves of bread spread out for the market.
"FOOD!"
Leaping from the hippo, he rushed towards the Egyptian bread. Before the hippo could realize what was happening Ranma was stuffing the hand ground bread into his mouth and spitting it out.
"Oww! Stones and dust that's not nice. I want food." Clutching the garnet rod in one hand, he prodded the food at his feet and scowled. It had tasted nasty filled, with sand, and it had been stale. Ranma was upset he had traveled 3500 years and he was hungry. The hippo who by now had realized the tiny menace that had some how been making it swim down the river and not let it bite the pest was now off his back and standing in front of him.
The hippo's brain slowly began to turn and came to one conclusion. 'Squish.'
Ranma was angry and he was hungry. So poking the bread Ranma began to mutter under his breath and wished that he could have McDonalds, yummy salty greasy McDonanlds, and not stinky old bread. Chibi-Ranma could almost taste the cheeseburgers and chocolate thick shakes. His stomach protested at his imagination. In addition, someone or something heard him.
At that moment the most surprised person was not Sailor Pluto, who watched her time gates turn orange again as she was looking for 'The Brat,' or Bast who felt a disturbance in her world and dropped the makeup palette she was holding, or the staff of the down town branch of Cairo's McDonalds, who found their shop a thousand km south and 3500 years in the past, or Ranma who found himself inside the air conditioned fast food outlet.
It was the angry hippo who had decided to stomp little Ranma and ran face first into a plastic replica of a seven foot clown.