This Is How It Ends

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WHOOT Chapter THREE is up >3
Enjoy.

Song: Cast it Out
10 Years

||Yadda Yadda Yaaa|| = Lyrics
"Yadda Yadda Yaaa" = Talking



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Tohma’s POV
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| |Casted out I’m watching your eyes||

I should have noticed.

To be honest, I knew Shindou-San would have done something stupid as attempting suicide… wait, committing suicide. I saw all the signs, I watched all the changes. Yet I didn’t say anything.

|| Casting out my visions of nine
Blacking out ||

I should have told you Yuki, when Shindou had quit Bad Luck. He looked horrible when he turned up in the office with registration forms… It had looked like he hadn’t eaten in days, like he hadn’t slept in weeks, like he was just completely lost in his own body. Eyes were cast down like he didn’t want to live life anymore, that he was afraid to look anyone else in the eyes, afraid to see his broken image in them.

I could’ve have grinned at his state… I suppose it gave me some sick twisted sadistic pleasure to see him suffering.

I had thought that you, you finally had enough of his immature attitude and personality and threw him out, and he, Shindou who ignored my warnings just simply lost it. He would get over it, eventually.

|| casted out I'm watcing your eyes
bleed dry ||

But I was wrong, he only seemed to get worse, and I have to be honest with my self, I did tend to worry. Then, without warning he had lost all contact with everyone.

That, I thought, was just his way of trying to deal with his life, to hide away in a shell until the wounds seemed to heal a bit.

I heard he made some story of visiting his parents, what a perfect lie. But if Shindou refused to tell anyone of his true intention I would gladly keep his apartment a secret, if not for a little while I suppose.

I kept the address of your new apartment and phone number in my wallet just in case.

I found out your whereabouts Shindou, 4 months after the break up, and every once in a while I had found myself stopping by, just to make sure he hadn’t died. Perhaps I was worried of Shindou… no, I wasn’t about him, not as much as I was worried about you, Yuki.

|| Touch with frustrated lips
Love is like starting over ||

I knew, that without Shindou, you yourself would self destruct, that little brat had implanted himself too far into your heart Yuki, somewhere I could never reach. I began to realize that.

But it took some work, because it was the small things that made me realize, you… were in love with that pink haired brat.

Every time you heard his songs, you seemed to calm down and relax a little. When ever you saw him on Tv or a poster, I watch as you face slightly light up. Even with me, the small conversations we had would eventually lead up to Shindou’s well being.

|| With every step engraving the problems of memories ||

I lied.

Said he was doing fine, said he was okay, he was doing great, when in fact he sat in that room of his, sulking, day by day, over you.

He’d get over it, I thought.

|| Casted out I'm watching your eyes ||

Funny thing was, I don’t think that brat even noticed that I came by his house, saw to it to tend to his wounds that he most likely inflicted to himself, filled his selves with food that was barely eaten,

That may have been because Shindou-San spent more than half the day in sleepless slumber, tossing and turning as I did what now became my routine… perhaps I should have told Yuki of you Shindou… but I didn’t.

I suppose that’s why pride is one of the seven deadly sins, I was too prideful to let my Yuki see you, to let him go back to you. And yet I don’t know why took care of Shindou, he was no use to me, but Yuki.

He was Yuki’s world.

Perhaps while Shindou was in his state I was trying to replace that little pink haired brat.

|| Casting out my visions of nine
Blacking out ||

But Yuki, he too slowly grew weary for you Shindou, Eiri really did love you.

Do you know how painful it is, to see my Yuki waste away because he couldn’t be with a brat that did nothing but cause his health to waver?

But which was worse seeing the writer kill himself slowly with all this stress, or have Shindou with him… at least, with Shindou, Yuki was happy, right?

God, what was I doing, I was taking happiness away from Yuki, wasn’t I?

|| casted out I'm watcing your eyes
bleed dry ||

I was afraid now, afraid of telling Yuki of you, Shindou, what would he have done? What would have you done? What should I have done?

What could have been done?

|| Drunks on failures regrets
Letters of silence confess burdens within ||

Yuki was getting slightly more violent without Shindou there, he was getting desperate, I could tell. He wanted to see you, sometime I could tell, he was having difficulties trying to stabilize his health, but he kept going for you Shindou.

I left pity clues of your whereabouts.

|| Speaking as loneliness listens
While hopelessly feeling ||

I was just briefing K on some new advancements we made when Hiro had called him up. I waved my hand signaling his dismissal with a smile to my face.

Yuki was about to break, I could see it in the way he spoke, I suppose now would be the best time, to tell Yuki where his precious Shindou was hiding.

K’s annoying screaming brought me out of my thoughts, and before I knew it I was listening to his stuttering profanities.

“What do you mean, Shuichi’s done something?! Hiro, where the hell are you?! Dammit! Where’s Shuichi?!”

|| Casted out I'm watching your eyes ||

I felt the sickening thud of my stomach hit the floor, that’s when I realized…

What Shindou just did.

|| Casting out my visions of nine
Blacking out ||

I didn’t think twice, I grabbed K and ran to the car. He looked confused, and I, I looked scared, I know I did, because K stayed silent, didn’t question my authority, not even as I snatched the phone from him, half yelled the address to Hiro, hung up and raced toward Shindou.

|| Casted out I'm watching your eyes
bleed dry ||

I remember I prayed,

I prayed as we drove, I was hoping to god that you didn’t do anything stupid, that you would kill Yuki in the process of whatever was running through that mind of yours… but I suppose, I was partially to blame.

I could’ve told Yuki of Shindou’s location.

I could’ve been better assistance to Shindou.
I could have.

|| There's a definite pattern to our behavior ||

But I didn’t.

|| Somehow the end draws us closer ||


I couldn’t breath.

When I saw your dead lifeless body Shindou, I could breath. I looked at Yuki and the look on his face, brought me down to my knees.

What have I done. I killed you both, didn’t I?

That was the truth that clutched at my chest and it became so hard to breath. All I wanted was what was best for my brother in law… and it wasn’t Shindou who was in the way…

It was me.

|| Casted out I'm watching your eyes ||

The preparation of the funeral drove by so fast… or that’s what they said.

But I, I stood there by Yuki’s side, and watched him fall, I watched him die inside.

At first, he didn’t… or wouldn’t cope with Shindou’s death, and he, he kept saying sorry to the picture that Shindou had held in his hands at the last moments he had in life.

I wanted to help, I wanted to, I did.

|| Casting out my visions of nine
Blacking out ||

But I was in his way. I knew. I knew what was going on in Yuki’s head, and I watch him fall… and what was worse was that the only person that could grab his hand and catch him, had died. And I, I watched that person slowly die.

Was I the cause of this, I was.

Because I thought I knew what was best for both Shindou and Yuki.

How wrong I was.

|| Casted out I'm watching your eyes
bleed dry ||

Yuki wasn’t there at the funeral, and I knew, I knew when he would arrive. I stayed in my car, even after the funeral, and I watched as Yuki made his final steps to his lover’s grave. I knew what was going on in his head. I knew what he wanted to do, and that, that made me want to break down in sobs.

But this… this would make Yuki happy and all I ever wanted was to make him happy, right?

So I sat, silently watching…

as he pulled the trigger.

I choked back a sob, before flipping open my cell phone, calling, to prepare for another funeral.

|| Blacking out
Cast it out ||

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Yuppers.

Eh, i wasn't much of a tohma fan... can't you tell?

Got another chapter down… I’m thnking of doing Hiro… mmaaayyybbeeee.
Just maybe, but I’m not sure you know.

Maybe just slap a epilogue or something you know. But then again I don’t know.

So.

Rate and Review pwease.