An Eternity of Pleasure

Title: An Eternity of Pleasure (sequel to ‘A Moment of Passion’ found at Fanfiction.net)
Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Sailor Moon: Sailor Stars (anime)
Pairing: Seiya/Usagi
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Romance
Warnings: sexual situations (16 year olds)
Summary: Usagi and Seiya make a commitment to each other and choose to take those first steps together.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Sailor Moon’, nor am I making any profits from it.

-oOo-

Chapter 3


Seiya finally felt his racing pulse ease a little, gradually returning to a more normal steady beat.

He took a deep breath and carefully rose to his elbows to gaze down at Usagi. She lay there with eyes closed, her long blonde hair splayed out around her head and across the floor. Her cheeks were still flushed and he could see the soft rosy hue across her upper body also. Her breathing also had slowed, and she looked as though she were asleep.

He leant down and lightly kissed her cheek, seeing that she made no sound or movement at his touch. She probably was asleep, it had been an emotional night. For both of them, acknowledging his own weariness.

He eased his lower body away from where it still rested between her legs, reaching down with one hand to guide his softened shaft from her warm body. As he fully slipped from that recess he glanced up quickly to see a small frown line appear between Usagi’s brows for a moment as she gave a soft murmur, then she seemed to settle back again. He gave a soft sigh of relief as he continued to pull fully away from her, sliding to one side of her body to sit up.

He was now in a bit of a quandary as to what to do next. He fumbled as he slipped the condom from his limp shaft, grimacing a little as some leaked onto his fingers, wrinkling his nose in distaste. He looked around the room, pondering his options. No, there was nothing here. That meant that the only place was the bathroom after all.

He knelt and pulled the robe gently over Usagi’s body, placing a soft kiss to her forehead as he stood, seeing her half roll on her side and curl her legs up with another sleepy sigh. He stroked her hair, lightly touching her cheek once more before he turned to leave the room.

He quickly made his way to the bathroom, thankful that he knew the way. He listened carefully and was relieved to hear no sounds of other inhabitants in the house. He had been so caught up in what had been happening he wasn’t sure he would have heard if Usagi’s family had returned. That could have been devastating to say the least. Still he hurried on his way as quickly as he could, even though there was no-one to see him.

Reaching the privacy of the bathroom he securely tied off the condom before wrapping it tightly in some tissues, hiding all sign of it, then dropping it into the waste basket. He just hoped it wouldn’t be discovered later on.

He now felt the cooling sweat on his body and the stickiness around his crotch. He grimaced, reaching into the shower to turn on the taps. A quick shower was in order; he could hardly return to Usagi smelling like this. He lathered his body with the soap, trying not to remember how it had felt when Usagi had touched him, the feel of her small hands sliding over his skin as though she were memorizing his body.

He dragged his mind away from those dangerous thoughts as he felt the first stirrings of desire again. No, enough was enough. He finished washing, cleaning away all residue of sweat and, reluctantly, the scent of Usagi and their recent lovemaking. It wasn’t the most hygienic to wish that he could have remained like that but it was still what he thought.

Stepping out of the shower he stood for a moment, cursing that he had left his previously used towel back in Usagi’s bedroom. He could walk back there and get it, he could dry off there as easily as here. Or he could get another towel but then her parents might have some questions about the number of used towels found the next day. He chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. No, he’ll just head back to the room, he didn’t want to leave Usagi alone for any longer.

He turned and caught a glimpse of his naked body in the mirror as he passed. He paused and looked closer, before lightly touching the red mark at the crook of his neck. Memory surfaced immediately; of Usagi’s sharp teeth suddenly biting into his flesh as he began to climax, before her head dropped back, crying out as her whole body shuddered as she clung to him and he to her. He ran his finger over the mark. That would no doubt leave a bruise by tomorrow. He inordinately felt very pleased by that thought and couldn’t help the small satisfied smirk at his image.

Enough, he chided himself, and turned away to head out the door when he paused again, although it wasn’t his vanity that made him stop. There was something else he could do while he was here. He turned around again and headed for the bath this time, reaching down and turning the water on. He waited a moment, testing the water until it reached what he deemed to be a comfortable mix and then this time left the bathroom.

When he returned to the bedroom he saw that Usagi still lay where he had left her, the robe covering her, knees almost pulled up to her chest. He spotted his old towel in the corner and picked it up, running it swiftly over his body to remove the water still sheening it before wrapping it securely around his waist. He only then knelt down beside Usagi and lightly touched her shoulder.

“Usagi?” he said softly. She made no move that she had heard him.

He shook her shoulder gently this time. “Usagi, won’t you speak to me?”

Again there was only silence. Maybe she was asleep, he wondered. Or was it that she just didn’t want to talk to him.

He leant back on his heels, gazing down at her. He couldn’t help but reach out and stroke her shimmering hair, feeling sad. He had probably ruined everything now. He knew that it had seemed like she had wanted it as much as he had but he should have realized that it was only because of how emotional she was, and it due to all that had just happened to her. She had probably just got caught up in the moment just as he had. He should have realized that.

Now…now she would have nothing but regrets for what she had succumbed to and Seiya felt terrible for being responsible for that. Every time he wanted to help her and protect her, all he ended up doing was cause her further pain. Perhaps everyone was right and he should have just stayed away from her right from the beginning.

He stifled a deep pain-filled sigh. There was nothing he could do to rectify things this time. Nothing he said or did could change what had occurred between them. All he could hope was that Usagi would not hate him forever. Now it truly was time for him to try and forget, and walk away as he hadn’t been able to before.

“Come, Usagi,” he said softly. “There’s a bath waiting.”

He gently gathered her into his arms, wrapping her more securely in the robe and cradling her tightly. She felt so light, as though there was no substance to her at all. She still made no sound, only burrowed closer into his embrace, hiding her face against his chest. That motion made his heart swell at first with the contact, before it hardened with grief that she still wouldn’t look at him or speak to him. With a heavy heart he carried her into the bathroom.

The room was filled with steam, shrouding the entire area, hanging heavily in the air. Luckily he hadn’t been gone long enough for the water to overflow and in fact it was reaching just a comfortable level for someone to soak so that had been perfect timing.

Seiya sat Usagi on the edge of the tub, reaching down with one hand to check the temperature of the water before turning her gently around so her legs dangled in the warm water. He turned off the taps and sat behind her, not trying to remove the robe. Instead he gathered up her long pale hair and removing his own hair tie, secured hers on top of her head, trying to get every stand but still knowing he was doing an untidy job of it. Once he had done this, only then did he slip the robe completely from her and slide her fully into the water.

He heard her soft gasp as she completely entered the water and held her shoulders until he was sure she was comfortably settled and not likely to slip. He remained sitting on the edge, reaching out and slowly began to wash Usagi’s back, keeping his motions slow and even, a soothing motion.

The silence filled the steam laden room, broken only by the light splashes as he drew the water up to continue his washing.

“I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I?” he finally said softly. “I shouldn’t have let things get so out of hand.” He watched the droplets of water slide down Usagi’s curved back. “I should have realized what you were going through and been more understanding, instead of thinking only of myself. I should have known it wasn’t something you really wanted.”

Still she said nothing, but he felt her shiver under his touch and his guilt intensified. He should have had more control and left her alone. He didn’t have the right to do what he had done. The guilt gnawed at him.

“Don’t worry. I’ll leave right away. Just forget this ever happened. I know I can never make amends or give back to you what I have taken, but if there is anyway I can atone for what I have done I will. I promise you that. You won’t ever have to see me again.”

This was it. He had to do it now or he knew he never would, and by staying his presence would only continue to bring Usagi pain. He gathered his resolve even though he could feel the burning in his eyes as tears threatened to fall and it felt like his heart was tearing in two. As he made to move, with one last touch to a pale shoulder, he couldn’t stop himself from whispering one last time, “Usagi, I love you.”

“You don’t have to go,” Her quiet voice halted him, freezing him in place in shock.

He paused where he was, still perched on the side of the tub, uncertainty warring inside. Had he heard her right, or was it just his own fevered imagination? Was he just trying to find a way to stay?

As he hesitated Usagi turned quickly, so suddenly it made him start, and he almost toppled from his seat as a wave of water cascaded over his lap, soaking his towel.

Usagi knelt in the water before him, hands grabbing his knees as she looked up at him earnestly, her eyes wide and fierce. “Don’t say you’re going to go!” she demanded. “It’s not your fault. There’s nothing for you to be apologizing for!”

“You don’t….want me to go?” he asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hear her answer.

“No! Please don’t!” she said vehemently shaking her head so her hair swayed dangerously in his makeshift tie, further strands escaping to fall to float on the surface of the water. “I want you to stay with me!”

He caught his breath at her words, hope blossoming, but then doubts immediately creeping in. This seemed too sudden. Too much like a dream, the dream of his heart.

“Are you just saying that because…of what just happened?” He couldn’t help himself from asking. He didn’t want her to be with him out of some misguided belief that now they should be. He wanted her to be with him because she truly wanted to be.

“Of course not,” Usagi said firmly, although a blush touched her cheeks at her acknowledgement of the night’s events. “I want to be with you even if that never happens again.”

He felt crushed. “So …you didn’t like it?” he mumbled, feeling inadequate.

“No. I mean, yes. I mean….” Usagi stuttered to a halt and he could see her cheeks glowing bright red now. She took a deep breath. “I mean.... I didn’t…mind it.”

“Oh,” he said, not knowing if that meant she found it good or not, but not wanting to push it any further as he might not like the answer. Well, it had been his first time technically also. Perhaps he should read up on it some more? Or ask Taiki or Yaten? No, his mind froze at that thought. No, that would definitely be a bad idea.

A squeeze on his knee brought him out of his thoughts and back to the present as Usagi stood up and slid onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him softly before hugging him tightly. His eyes widened with surprise and shocked pleasure as his arms automatically encircled her waist to support her.

“I want us to be together,” she whispered into his ear and he shivered as her warm breath caressed his skin.

“So do I,” he replied back just as softly, holding her close closing his eyes to better savour the feeling.

They remained like that for a moment longer when he became aware of how cool Usagi’s skin was feeling under his hand. His own body felt heated from having her sitting naked in his lap but the water was cooling rapidly on her body and must be chilling her.

He reached out and pulled the large towel with rabbits on it from the rack nearby. He gathered that this must be Usagi’s, no other towel had such little animals, and wrapped it around her back, tucking it around her shoulders tightly. He held her a moment longer, rubbing his hand up and down her back, warming her up and feeling her soft sigh of thanks, before helping her swing her legs around and stand.

They stood facing each other as he assisted in drying her fully, being certain to not touch her in any way that could be misconstrued and being extra vigilant if she at any point changed her mind about what they were doing. In between they stole silent kisses, even whilst he pulled out the hair tie and gently brushed her golden hair until it shone. When she was done, he swept her up into his arms, towel and all, and carried her back to her room and immediately over to the bed.

He sat her near the pillow whilst he reached out and quickly pulled the covers down on her bed, before picking her up and laying her down fully. He allowed his lips to cling to hers in a kiss, unwilling to part just yet, before reluctantly drawing back, and pulled the covers over her naked body, tucking them in tightly around her slender frame. He brushed back the hair from her face gently, tucking it behind her ear.

“I’ll clean things up a bit. Don’t worry about anything. You just go to sleep,” he said softly.

As he made to move away she grabbed one hand, holding him tightly. Looking down he saw her gazing up at him and was surprised to see an emotion that he hadn’t expected to see, fear.

“Don’t leave me,” she said in a pleading voice that shook

At first he didn’t understand what she meant. He had just been going to tidy up the bathroom and dispose of their wet towels and clothing in the laundry basket, before taking the tea things back to the kitchen. The last thing he wanted was for Usagi to be chastised for any mess they had made. It wasn’t like he was going far.

But then he realized that she wasn’t referring to what he was doing in the house at all. The fear in her was directed to the memory of what had happed to Mamoru, her boyfriend. Her fear was that he, Seiya, was going to disappear just as Mamoru had and leave all her alone.

Chibi Mamoru, Usagi’s boyfriend.

Till now Seiya had felt only a distant dislike and sense of disgruntlement for the absent man. Now….now he had the horrible feeling that something truly terrible had happened to him, for surely only that would have kept him from Usagi’s side. And he could see in her eyes that she too believed, deep down in her heart, that Mamoru had been taken from her and she had been waiting in vain.

His heart ached for her pain, for the suffering that her own devotion, loyalty and love had made her endure, and endure it alone. He mourned for her loss and mourned for the lost Mamoru, his rival whom he had never even met, and yet it had felt as though they had been locked in a duel for Usagi’s heart from the very beginning.

Seiya felt no joy now after what had happened this night, for he was the victor in a way by default and a part of him would always wonder if he could ever have won Usagi’s love if Mamoru had still been there. Still he could not think badly of Mamoru any longer, nor of Usagi for holding on so long to that love. Perhaps a part of her would always love Mamoru.

So be it. He wouldn’t begrudge her that small portion of her heart that belonged to another. He could be generous, for she had given the rest to him; her heart and her body.

He smiled sweetly at her, squeezing her hand. “I’ll stay here until you fall asleep,” he said, sitting on the side of the bed. “And I’ll be with you every day from now on.” he promised.

She still didn’t look entirely reassured and he couldn’t blame her. The fear that he might disappear like Mamoru would be very real for her. He wasn’t altogether sure of his own standing in all this either. There was the nagging thought in the back of his own mind that he had jeopardized his own mission and role as a Starlight, but he refused to dwell on that now. What ever the consequences would be for his actions this night, he was prepared to face them. But later. Now was just for he and Usagi.

He leant down and kissed her lightly on the lips, trying to convey all his feelings and love he felt for her

“I will be by your side, now and for always,” he vowed softly.

“Promise?” Usagi finally said in a small voice, squeezing his hand tightly

“Promise,” he vowed.

He lay down at her side, on top of the covers, letting her clasp his hand tightly in both of her as they looked at each other, noses almost touching.

“Sleep, Usagi,” he gently ordered. “I will watch over you always.”

With a last searching glance Usagi dropped her head and placed a light kiss on the back of his hand, closing her eyes and drawing their joined clasp in close to her cheek.

“Good girl,” he whispered, placing a light kiss on the top of her head. “I love you.”

He remained there, listening as Usagi’s breathing became slower, waiting for her to fall asleep before he went to complete his tasks. He knew it wouldn’t be long, she was completely exhausted, emotionally drained. So he just patiently waited for her to succumb to her tiredness.

He could tell from her breathing that she was almost asleep when he was surprised to catch the almost silent words she whispered, “I love you too.”

At those soft words he felt like his heart would burst. Not once had she said that she loved him till now. In truth, he hadn’t expected her to do so. Now was far too soon, he had thought, to expect such a commitment from her. So to hear her vocalize those words, to be willing to say them to him made him immensely happy.

He closed his eyes, drawing closer to her, savouring this moment, breathing in her sweet scent. No matter what happened in the future, nothing could take this moment away from him, or the pure joy it filled him with.

~End~

A/N: I’m not sure how well that worked out as a ‘first time sex’ fic. I did find it difficult to not bring it to a high level of experience/knowledge for the two of them, but I was hoping to still be able to portray the nervousness, uncertainties and even doubts afterwards, yet still hold the romance.