Guarded

Chapter 3

The hearing had been torturous and Fay wondered when will it end. He found he couldn't answer the questions that was thrown to him by the lawyers, words seemingly became stuck at his windpipe, impossible to cough out. He didn't want to be reminded anymore than what he remembered about that horrifying night. He tried to search for those crimson eyes in the crowd for they are the only ones that will hold strong no matter what happened. But when he found them he realised he didn't have the courage to look at them. Fay could not comprehand why they have to ask the same questions when he had already given his statement so many times, is it not enough? How many times does he have to suffer this humilation? It was worse when he knew Ashura was anticipating this, waiting for the skeletons to be let loose of it's confining prison.

"You will have to answer the question, Mr Flowrite." the judge spoke out, his voice echoing monotonously through the courtroom.

"I'm sorry, what was it again?" Fay directed the question to Ashura's lawyer.

"Were you lovers?"

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"6 years"

"During those 6 years that you have been together, has he shown any signs of violence or phsychologically disturbing behavior?"

"No."

"But you claimed he flew into a rage for no apparent reason and tried to murder you?"

"No, he tried to kill me because I found out that he was the one who caused my parents death!"

"Why? You must have realised by now, there is no evidence for this accusation..."

"He told me! He admitted to me!"

"I have to remind you Mr Flowrite, that Ashura is here only because he has no alibi to prove that he wasn't with you on the night of the incident."

"He was my father's son too...does that give him enough motive when the will my father made does not have his name?" Fay blurted out defensively and he could hear the audience and jury gasped in shock and disgust, he could also see the satisfied smile Ashura had on his face. Still it was sooner or later the jury will know of this, the marriage certificate that his father had tried to destroy so many years ago had a dreaded copy that Ashura's mother kept. He found out on the same night before Ashura came home, that cursed piece of paper underneath the loose bottom of Ashura's briefcase which was so cleverly sealed. He wished this wasn't made public, he understands all too well the backlash and repercussions that was to come but money and social connections can only do so much to keep dirty laudry a secret.

Fay's lawyer, Sorata looked at him as he approached and spoke in a low voice.

"Was this necessary? You didn't have to risk..."

"It's better to have it coming from me then to have the media dug it out later. Do what you have to do, they won't blame me for this." Fay said warily and sat down heavily at his seat before he lost his nerve.

Ashura's lawyer glared at them before stepping forward at the stand to make his request to the judge for adjornment untill he has sorted out this "unexpected" bit of evidence. The judge scanned through his notes before lifting his head 10 mins later to announce that the hearing will be postphone to next Wednesday.

The flashing lights of the cameras from the media waiting outside was blinding, the journalist who were inside the courtroom observing the trial were pushing and elbowing each other to get their questions heard and hopefully answered, their perversed mind so used to feeding off on other's misery was already forming the news headlines for their respective papers, calculating what this sensational, scandalizing news would do for their own career. Fay could hardly moved a step and Kurogane stepped forward, glaring at them at the same time and using his body as a blockage, cleared a tiny path for Fay to forged through those pests. The tension was unbearable during the ride home, Kurogane still trying to absorb and process the latest piece of information about Fay he had rather not learned about.

"When did you know that he was your..." Kurogane stopped himself not knowing how to continue.

"On the same day...his own father walked out on them when he was nine, my father married his mother..." Fay answered softly, not looking at Kurogane "we are not related by blood, if that's what you want to know."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Fay kept himself mainly to his room the day after, not even venturing out for meals, his mind was in a turmoil and his dimmedly lit bedroom seems to be the only sanctuary for him to sought out a little peace to settle down and think about his next step, he could hear the phone in his study a few doors down still ringing it's hook off. He thought he was prepared for this day, he thought he could forget and fight Ashura's deadly charm, even if just for that few hours but he failed to, the mere sight of the man caused his heart to shudder and flutter at the same time, hate and lust intermingleling but he was sure there was no love left...there was no love from the start. He was just a venting tool for Ashura who couldn't be appeased even after his parent's death. Ashura had made it very clear that he wanted full payment of what was owned to him that night, there was no other way to untie the knots of hatred in his being.

Kurogane has taken to sitting infront of the servelliance tv in his own room, watching him. He couldn't see any movement on the bed and it was only the slight shifting of Fay's legs that assured him that he was alive and had not done anything foolish. He understands now why was Fay so attracted to Ashura and why the devastation that was left upon him seemed so irreversible. He hated the man upon sight, the chilling and unemotive smile he carried on his beautiful regal face throughout the entire hearing and he hated him somemore when he saw the smirk he gave when Fay broke and revealed to the court the sordid details of their relationship. It seems that Ashura took immense pleasure at tormenting Fay, Kurogane thought the man didn't seem to mind that he was behind bars as long as he could see Fay's world crumble. From his point of view, it was a twisted way of seeking revenge on someone who didn't caused your misfortunes. It was a cowardly act on Ashura's part.

The phone in the study rang continuously, Syaoran has given up answering them, tired of giving the same answers and excuses, hearing the same questions asked over and over, the only calls that want un-ignored was those from Sorata. It was not going well, the board of DF Corps had held a emergency board meeting and decided that Fay has to step down as the president for they can't have such a stain in DF Corps's history, the letter Sorata faxed over requesting for Fay's own resignation sat on the desk, somehow managing to add an ominous feeling to the dark room. The media was having a field day and were still gathered outside the huge imposing gates of the mansion, waiting for any chance for the sight of Fay.

Tomoyo nearly threw her phone across the room when she couldn't get Fay, his mobile was switched off. She dialled Syaoran's mobile instead and got a busy tone, frustrated she called for the chaffuer to prepare for the ride to Fay's home. She had heard the news first hand from Sakura and Syaoran the day before when she was still in Hong Kong and worried had flown back on the first flight available, she have to be by his side. She knows he have no one else to depend on, she hope someone would fill up that space in his heart very soon because if nothing happened, Fay would fade away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The end of a long day had arrived and Tomoyo had went home, she didn't say much for Fay didn't respond much. He just sat beside her and let her presence comfort him, it was all she could give and what Fay was glad to have. He remembered what she said before she left and hoped that it would turn out alright for it was true that there was no eternal pain and darkness in the tunnel of life without an interval of light coming from the end of it.

Fay lay on his bed staring at the ceiling and fingered his pendant gingerly, it still feels so difficult to breathe and every breath hurts and threatens to choke the living day lights out of him. The loneliness is hardest to bear late in the night, where no other thoughts exists to occupy his mind. The past sneaks back stealthily to haunt and awake the darkness in his heart. He looked around the enormous bedroom and felt the walls closing in on him, trying to suffocate and drown him. Fay jolted out of bed when out of the corner of his eye he saw those black wiry and wrinkled arms diving forward from the side of the bed, trying to grab at him, he flew and stumbled off his bed in a blind panic before he realized he was hallucinating again.

He clambered off the floor and went to the bathroom and stood infront of the mirror looking at his own reflection, he couldn’t see himself anymore. It was only a shell, a shadow of what he used to be and he hated that reflection that stared back at him. He lifted his hand and striked at the mirror. He didn't hear it cracked and land on the floor in broken shards, it was't until the pain hit him did he realised what he had done as he looked aound dazed and bleeding from his knuckles. He smiled, at least the pain managed to provide the distraction he so needed. He turned on the tap to washed the open cuts and winced slightly at the pain and heard the soft footsteps approached warily and stop just outside the bathroom door, somehow he didn't need to turn his head to know who was it. There was only one person watching him at this unearthly hour.

"Fuck." was the only word Fay heard him say before the footsteps faded away before returning a minute later, the footsteps sounded a little more urgent this time.

Kurogane looked at the Fay standing infront of the basin still with his bloodied hands under the running tap and uttered a curse before rushing off to get the first aid box. He knew something wasn't right when he saw him fall off the bed in fright and when he didn't see him out of the bathoom after 15 mins, something was definitely wrong. But he was not expecting this...how sadistic can the man get? He stepped into the bathroom carefully, avoiding the silvers of glass lying about the marble floor and picked Fay up and lowered down the lid of the toilet bowl before he sat him down on it. He took out the tweezer and guaze and within minutes had efficently cleanse and bandage Fay's wounded hand. He stood up and looked at Fay still holding his bandage hand, his fiery glare unforgiving.

"What's the point?" Kurogane asked, his voice hard and cold and tighten his grip around the wounded hand and looked at Fay as he grimaced with pain.

Fay didn't answer but just look up at him with glassy eyes and an empty smile. Kurogane snarled at that reaction, he knew no answers would be forthcoming and left still brewing with anger.

Fay watched him leave before his tears started again, when did he become this weak? Maybe he always has been...he wiped away his tears and decided that being alone when he is in no capacity to form coherent and sensible thoughts is not a good thing at all, he might hurt himself for worse and end up as a suicide case in hospital. He definitely don't need anymore drama.

He wandered out of his bedroom, down the long hallway and stopped infront of Kurogane's room and knocked once before he took a step back and waited for the occupant inside to open the door. It took that person behind the door a full 2 minutes before he responded.

"What now?" he asked, voice still cold and hard.

"I can't be alone, not tonight." Fay answered as he looked steadily into angry eyes, the darkness of the night made those crimson eyes shine like rubies in the dark. He waited somemore as the man stood there still thinking about what to do with him and not willing to look more the fool he already was, asked Kurogane...

"You are living in my home isn't it?"

Kurogane huffed and sigh loudly before turning his back. What could he say to that?

"Com'on in."

"Thanks"

"Like you said, it's your home." Kurogane replied and saw with a bit of relief as a tiny curl of a smile formed at the corner of Fay's lips. He waited for Fay to walk in before closing the door behind with a silent click and wondered why only Fay's bedroom was installed with auto - sensor doors. Still a pampered brat after all.