Unexpected.

She just kind of sees Matsuda as a hot chocolate kind of person.

Just a note, there has been very little feedback from this fiction. If there is something You do not like or think could be improved, please let her know. Constructive critisism is very much appreciated.

For those of You who did review, they were very sweet and she thanks You.

Chapter 3: Paperwork

Matsuda was so bored that he wanted to cry.

He had been sitting in the same place for the entire day, looking at what felt like the exact same piece of paper (which it pretty much was: the gradually increasing pile kept somehow finding itself poked at unenthusiastically, examined just as unenthusiastically, sighed at once or twice and that was about it) and sitting in the exact same uncomfortable chair.

Mogi had discovered the names of Yotsuba’s employees three days ago (Much to the delight of L and the envy of Matsuda), and L had instructed that everybody be given a specific country to go over.

Matsuda didn’t know why they had to look through the entire list.

His back was sore from sitting down all day and he was a little worried that if he kept on going the way that he was that he would end up with posture as bad as Ryuuzaki’s.

…Not that he wanted to think about Ryuuzaki at all – he had done it far too much last night and all of that morning, thankyou-very-much and he was getting quite fed up with it.

The way he felt under his fingers, the way his lips felt, the way his…

Banishing that thought from his mind with great difficulty, Matsuda looked at the stack of paper sitting by his left hand and sighed morosely.

It was so big that it was intimidating.

He was so bored.

Unwilling to depress himself with the small mountain of white taking up perfectly good space by him, Matsuda allowed his eyes to wander around the room.

Mogi was sitting at the wooden table to Matsuda’s right with a cup of coffee (that he had thankfully made himself) and a (smaller) pile of his own, Aiber and Wedy were sitting opposite him and conversing in English, obviously amused at something-or-other, while Ryuuzaki and Light poured over research.

The Chief was nowhere to be seen.

The stack of paper that he had was bigger than everybody else’s.

Slightly miffed that he was obviously beinn made to do more work than anyone else (ignoring the fact that he actually hadn’t been doing any work and that was the underlying reason that he had a lot more), Matsuda decided that he sure as hell wasn’t going to go over any more of those stupid sheets today, because he had just about had enough of them, thankyou!

It wasn’t like he could concentrate anyway.

It.

Was.

So.

Boring.

Not to mention uncomfortable.

If he had known that the awkwardness that he had felt from the previous night would not have dissipated by the next day, he probably would have pretended to be ill. He could have spent the day masturbating and watching B-grade talk shows (not at the same time), and it would have been far more enjoyable than stewing in his own turmoil in a big metal box and trying not to look out of the corner of his eye at the man sitting next to him.

He was so aware of L that it was making him crazy!

And it was so much worse because L was taking no notice of him.

He could have handled it if he was given any indication that the other party was effected at all, but Ryuuzaki had so far treated him with blasé indifference.

He was acting no differently at all.

And for the life of him, Matsuda didn’t know how to act back. It seemed as if he was the only one who seemed to remember what happened.

…Well, that wasn’t entirely true.

Light certainly remembered.

In fact, Light had spent the entire day so far refusing to acknowledge anything to do with Ryuuzaki. He did not speak to Ryuuzaki, he did not look at Ryuuzaki, he ignored Ryuuzaki’s attempts at conversation, and he stayed as far away from him as he possibly could.

The only time that he and Matsuda had had eye contact, both of them went as red as tomatoes and decided that ignoring each other was okay.

Oddly enough, despite the fact that Matsuda was the one who had initiated the incident, Ryuuzaki was the one Light seemed to be angriest at, which puzzled Matsuda to no end.

It seemed as if he were blaming the person whose fault it wasn’t, instead of the person whose fault it was, **but Matsuda supposed that watching what happened against his will was probably very traumatic, so he accepted the fact that Light was probably very confused.**

It’s the only reason he could think of.

After all, Light did not desire Ryuuzaki the same way the he desired him. He was even worse than Matsuda when it came to hiding his feelings: childish idealism, and all that.

Nobody else really noticed their peculiar behaviour towards each other.

Except maybe Aiber (Aiber was too aware of everything): Matsuda had noticed him eyeing the three (especially Matsuda) far more frequently.

…Matsuda scolded himself for being paranoid.

Matsuda supposed that the others probably thought Light and Ryuuzaki had another fight, and nobody paid enough attention to him to actually notice anything other than when he was doing something childish or not.

He could see Ryuuzaki all but fellate a small piece of cake sitting innocently on his spoon, and his mind provided him with a series of vulgar and very tantalizing images of Ryuuzaki doing the exact same thing, except naked and between Matsuda’s legs.
Matsuda tried in vain to dispel the thoughts: his mind was far more intent on them than anything else.

He couldn’t get it out of his mind!

The smell of him, the taste of him and the feel of his fingers through Matsuda’s hair and tickling along his sides were all assaulting him in a manner that was really distracting, and if he didn’t stop thinking about it he was going to get an erection and then he would be stuck in his seat until it went away, or until everybody could find something to do long enough so that he could dart to the bathroom and jerk off (again), because it seemed as if they had been really stubborn lately.

It was stupid that it was affecting him so much.

In fact he was really having second thoughts about the wisdom of his decision anyway. It was a dumb idea to offer himself to L like that.

The guy didn’t know how to sit properly, let alone how to handle getting a blowjob from a coworker. Or subordinate, or whatever the hell he was.

Although, not much could be said when the person who actually performed the action was having trouble themselves.

Annoyed and confused at the entire situation, Matsuda sighed heavily and unenthusiastically took the first piece of paper from the pile.


*****

The clock had seemed to have been clued in to the tension between the small group, and was maliciously ensuring that time not only stopped, but actually went backwards.

At least, that’s what Matsuda thought.

Why else would time go this slow?

It was still early in the evening, and from the looks of things nobody was near ready to leave.

He turned back to the meaningless names in front of him, but he found it hard to concentrate with all of the sounds around him: the steady tapping of Ryuuzaki’s keyboard, the crudely nasal tones of the two professional criminals yapping away in the language that Matsuda only knew bits and pieces of and the rather loud slurps of Mogi having at his third coffee. Everything seemed louder in the empty, hollow room, echoed tenfold and thrown about.

Trying desperately to concentrate, he stared at the names that made so little sense to him until they blurred and his eyes teared up. He held back a sigh and blinked away the water that was obscuring his vision.

He just wanted to go home.

Home to his calm, peaceful and overall quiet apartment with its plain, scratchy carpet, and the over stuffed bright yellow sofa and its ugly beige walls that the landlord wouldn’t let him paint.

Most importantly, to his fridge (Covered with numerous artworks done by his niece) and then to his bed that everybody but him thought was lumpy, so he could eat a crappy T.V. dinner, have some sake and just watch television.

But of course thoughts of home led to thoughts of getting home last night and jerking off frantically, which led to reflections of what he and Ryuuzaki had done, and what it meant, which just led back to thoughts about how much he did not want to be in the complex and then he was just chasing his own proverbial tail, so to speak.

He restrained another sigh.

He supposed if he had decided to stay the night again, he could have just gone upstairs and plonked down on the bed in the room he had unofficially coined as his own, but then again, whether he had decided to stay at the complex (which he hadn’t) or go home, he still didn’t want to be the first one to leave, especially when it was still early enough.

Matsuda had begun to go home a lot more often than he did at the initial construction of the enormous complex that L was responsible for.

At first it had been fun having a hotel he could stay at whenever he wanted: a trip away from the loud apparently constantly honeymooning couple next door, and the equally loud but yelling-for-a-different-reason older and possibly foreign couple on the opposite side, but, as time went on, he found he rather missed it.

The noise may have been inconvenient, but somehow he preferred it to the stifling silence of the room he used. Somehow it made it easier to sleep, alone in the bed that had been molded to his body alone, listening to the irate snarls of the old woman (once he had heard her throw plates) because the younger couple had probably already finished what they were doing.

The occasional return had slowly become more and more common, something of which he was quite pleased about, and not only for the better night sleep.

He was finding it more and more difficult to deal with everyone’s tension with the Kira case and the Chief’s distress that Light was still cause for suspicion, and it was difficult for him to work amongst all of the subsequent bickering and snarling.

…And then there was the incident with the police force.

When Aizawa left, Matsuda found he was more relieved than ever that he had moved back rather than staying in the complex.

Although Aizawa was the one that was more prone to fits of irritated outbursts than anybody else, his leaving (and L’s underhanded behaviour before he left) was causing more problems than a few temper tantrums were ever responsible for.

Mogi had seemed particularly upset with what had happened (although he didn’t say anything), and the two foreigner’s that L had employed made Matsuda uncomfortable.

Sure they were nice enough, but he just felt like they were laughing at him behind his back, and it was not a nice feeling.

Especially Aiber.

He had a peculiar smile that made whoever it was directed at think simultaneously think that he was incredibly fond of them and that he was secretly laughing at them, and Matsuda felt more than a little nervous around him.

He was just too smooth.

He reminded Matsuda both of the more popular boys at his high school that teased him mercilessly, and one of those secret agents from the American movies.

Everyone else seemed to be comfortable around him though, and Matsuda couldn’t help but wonder that he was being paranoid.

Then, the subject of his thoughts raised his eyebrow very charmingly at Matsuda and bared his perfect teeth in a winsome smile, and he realized that he had been staring and jerked his eyes away, his face flooding with mortification.

He was so embarrassed that he failed to notice that the tick-tick-ticking of keystrokes had ceased, and when he dared to look up again (very surely not in the direction of the blonde man) he saw that the Chief was leaning over L and they were deep in conversation.

He wasn’t close enough to hear their quietly spoken words, but the serious looks he could see only in profile were a small cause for concern.

He attempted to watch them surreptitiously, inching closer as slowly as he could so that he could hear them.

Although the buzzing murmur of their voices became more prominent as he painstakingly dragged his wheely chair closer, he still could not make out what they were saying. Before he could sidle towards them any more, the Chief straightened and turned away, rearranging the suit jacket hanging from his shoulders.

In the flurry of flying paper and pen that magically appeared in Matsuda’s hands, he missed the look that crossed both of the men’s faces, something of which he would have been both relieved and annoyed about if he was aware of it.

Instead, he did not realize that he had – for once during the entire course of the day – garnered Ryuuzaki’s wide eyed attention until the man rather unceremoniously pushed Matsuda’s chair around and pushed his face into an uncomfortable and entirely too welcome proximity to the officer’s own.

Matsuda gulped.

And went bright red.

ohmygodheisrighttherewhatishegoingtodoohmygodohmygodohmygod

His brain rather helpfully went into overdrive and left poor Matsuda to flap his jaw a little like a fish and splutter. But only a little.

“Uhh…” He told the pale face in front of him.

Of course, Ryuuzaki being the man that he is (the man that he is has enough social skill to fit comfortably in to a thimble) took no notice; indeed seemed not to notice and merely stared with an entirely serious expression.

His eyes were so big, and so dark, Matsuda felt as if he were going to drown. He was helpless before a man who did not even seem to know it, and he wanted to fall in to the pools of his eyes and sink into that blissful blackness.

His own eyes grew wider and wider, and they stung, like they were going to bulge out of his sockets and fall on the floor, probably with a rather grotesque splat, and Matsuda wrinkled his nose at the idea. And then Ryuuzaki opened his feminine and entirely too white lips to speak and ruined the moment and Matsuda was thankful and incredibly disappointed.

“I have a job for you,” He said in that soft little way of his, and the officer’s heart leapt about like an excited frog.

“It is very important.”

*****

“Misa-Misa is so excited!” She shrieked, and indeed, she sounded it, “Matsu gets to be her manager for real now!”

And then she squealed a little for emphasis and threw her arms around him as if jumping around and half deafening the men in the room was not enough to prove said point.

When he felt her slender body against his and her soft breasts pressed against his chest though, he felt a little embarrassed, but he didn’t mind.

She was very pretty, after all.

And Light wouldn’t object.

Indeed, he probably would be a little relieved that Misa-Misa had somebody else in her vice grip for a change, and Matsuda did not mind having an attractive model latched around his neck, calling him by a pet name, and he minded even less when young Light seemed a little less harried than he did when she was around.

Ryuuzaki had explained it to him yesterday.

Misa-Misa was currently employed to begin shooting a movie, some romance film with none other than Ryuuga Hideki (whom Matsuda happened to adore - he had watched every single one of his films and taped the soap opera that he was currently starring in, but that was something he kept to himself) playing the other main role.

Ryuuzaki had explained that he wanted somebody trustworthy to continue keeping an eye on Misa-Misa, and that everybody felt he was perfect for the role, both as manager and as spy.

Matsuda felt kind of guilty having to spy on Misa-Misa, whom he could not see as the second Kira, or in fact any Kira at all, but that was something he also kept to himself, along with his secret love of girlie films and his opinion of Kira’s justice.

Anyway, he was happy that Ryuuzaki had found some kind of use for him, especially since it meant that he didn’t have to do paperwork anymore.

So he sat there, his smile cheerful and abashed as the voluptuous girl bounced around the five of them (Aiber and Wedy had disappeared outside about an hour ago) and nattered away about how she was so happy that ‘Matsu’ was her manager and that she hoped that Light wasn’t jealous that she was starring in a movie with a famous actor and that it was okay because she loved only him and when were they going to go on a date – a proper one – not one where Ryuuzaki had to come along and Ryuuzaki was a bit of a pervert anyway and his skin was much too pale!

Light reminded her as he had done a thousand times that it was a necessity and it was much better than the other options, but she didn’t care, because she wanted her Light and would he take her shopping? Because she really wanted some new clothes and her favourite shade of lipstick was gone and she needed some immediately.

Then Matsuda offered to take her. It was a little surprising actually and he promptly gave an embarrassed laugh and went a little pink in the cheeks.

She looked at him with her huge brown eyes, and he couldn’t determine the expression on her face, but he could see Light in his peripheral vision thanking him fervently with his eyes alone and Matsuda felt a little less embarrassed.

Then Misa-Misa surprised him when she announced that she would love to go shopping with Matsu.

*****

Her laughter was rather adorable, Matsuda decided.

His feet were aching and his arms throbbed, but as he sat with his hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate and she sat opposite him sipping water and giggling at his awkward attempt at a joke, he found he didn’t mind a bit.

After numerous hours of running back and forth, Misa-Misa’s “some new clothes and lipstick” had turned in to seven new shirts, two new jackets, at least three skirts and eight – count eight – new pairs of shoes. And that isn’t even mentioning the three new dolls that looked as if a Voodoo shaman had decided to give them a makeover and a few thousand yen worth of makeup.

And Matsuda, the gentleman that he was, had unwittingly become a pack mule.

Exhausted, he had suggested the small coffee shop towards the end of the mall rather desperately, and to his relief she had agreed, although she only drank the mineral water he was more than happy to sit there with her and sip hot chocolate while he listened to her giggle endearingly.

He realized that he could probably fall in love with Misa-Misa in his own shy, unassuming way, and he wondered if Ryuuzaki would mind.

He sighed.

Of course he wouldn’t. It was pointless to think in such a manner; Ryuuzaki cared very little about how Matsuda felt, or what he did, as long as he did what Ryuuzaki told him to when he told him to. The thought annoyed Matsuda, and made him feel a little melancholy at the same time.

“…came with her even though she asked!” Misa-Misa was saying.

And he forced all thoughts of Ryuuzaki out of his head so he could concentrate on her words, and took another sip of his hot chocolate.

…It really was very good.

It was late in the evening when they finally returned, laden with bags and boxes of assorted clothes and makeup and assorted bits and pieces for Misa-Misa’s room and goodness knows what else.

Matsuda could barely see over the pile in his sobbing arms, but he did catch the amusement mingled with horror in the men’s faces as he finally trudged through the door (It had taken them three tries to get through the stringent security) and up the stairs.

He ignored them with as much dignity as he could muster acting the part of a model’s personal pack beast, and it was with much relief when he dumped the enormous load on her enormous bed.

A few packages tumbled off and spilt their contents on the dull carpet, the bright pinks and red twists of fabric contrasting sharply with the cream they sprawled upon.

Misa-Misa did not appear to be concerned; she just collapsed on one of the couches and sighed expansively, kicking off her heels as if she had no care in the world.

He suddenly wished that it were the case.

Matsuda smiled self-consciously at her, and she smiled back, her teeth shiny and very white.

“Misa-Misa had lots of fun with Matsu today,” she told him, and if she were tired at all it didn’t show in her voice.

“I had fun too,” Matsuda told her, because he did. It felt like he had a girlfriend, watching her try on clothes (she looked pretty in them all) and have hot chocolate with her, and have her hang off his arm while men left and right looked at him with envy, and it was fun.

And what was better, Misa didn’t scold him for saying things she thought was stupid, or make him feel as if he couldn’t do anything or that he somehow wasn’t a good officer or was naïve, and she certainly didn’t inspire such confusing thoughts and ideas that Ryuuzaki did.

She made him feel as if he was almost important to her: not important like Light was, but like a friend, like somebody she was fond of, and enjoyed spending time with, and Matsuda could easily see how he could very well become smitten with her, because it wasn’t often that people treated him like that.

It was too often people treated him with a mix of amused disdain and exasperation, and the difference was almost overwhelming.

So he tentatively sat down in the couch opposite her, ready to up and leave if he wasn’t welcome, but her cute little smile only widened to encompass the sudden warmth that he felt, and she asked him if Light would want to come up to see them.

Matsuda knew Light wouldn’t, but he didn’t want to say that to Misa-Misa, because he felt a little sorry for her about the whole thing, so he merely said that Light was probably busy.

She agreed.

And so they sat.

At first, they said very little, fatigue and perhaps even a slight awkwardness stilling their tongue, but, slowly, their conversation flowed more easily, and soon it was as it was at the café, their laughter falling as freely as their words, and Matsuda, for once in a very long time, felt completely at ease.