Zoro Learns Some Manners

…so I’m just borrowing them for the sake of Yaoi. Once I’m done then I promise to wipe them off and give them back ;) Any resemblance to real people is coincidental - these characters are pure fantasy!


Warning: contains a lot of very strong language and steamy Yaoi / boysecks (Zoro x Sanji)


I was just going to make this a one shot but somehow it just kept going in my head. Let me know if there’s something that you’d like the see in it - I promise not to bite & I love constructive comments!


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Dessert?! Sanji bit back the urge to laugh… Zoro had gone from confused to cocky in about three seconds flat. He had only just had his first experience with a man and he was already asking for more. Sanji sighed. The man clearly had no restraint. He was almost back to his normal self. Pity really.


“I thought you might want to put your clothes back on before Luffy and the others wake up” he mumbled into the floor, grinning. Zoro was still lying on him heavily.


“Shit” said Zoro. He looked around nervously. He had completely forgotten that there was anyone else in the room. Stupid shitty-cook distracted him. He didn’t want to get off him though; he was so damn soft and warm… Zoro’s eyes travelled around the room. Luffy still snored, Chopper still rose and fell gently…. Nami and Usopp were still crumpled on the floor in their respective drunken heaps. Well thank fuck for that.


He sighed and resignedly rolled off the blonde, sitting up and trying to ignore his hard on and locate his clothes as he did it. His shirt was folded neatly next to where they had been drinking. His bandana was twisted in a knot next to Sanji’s feet and his pants…


Shit. That was right. He drew his knees up to shield himself from view in case one of the others woke up.


“Shit” he said again. Sanji rolled over and looked up at him.


“I was wondering how long it would be ‘till you started bitching again. What’s wrong now? Just can’t bear to wait?” He preened just a little. He must have really made an impression. Stupid marimo would have to give him a break now he knew how good in bed he was …and stop being such a mopey shit.


He stopped preening when he saw the look on Zoro’s face. He was moping again already. What now?!


He raised one curly eyebrow at the swordsman in the form of a question. What?


Zoro just pointed towards the door. Sanji followed his gnarled finger and saw two crumpled heaps of black on the floor.


That was right.


He couldn’t help it this time, he laughed out loud.


“Shut up target brow” said Zoro. He was more sulking than snapping. The pouty look on his face was so comical; Sanji stifled another guffaw and sat up to find his clothes. He found pants, shirt, and shoes and slowly put them on. Zoro glared at him. Was this shitty cook just going to leave him here with no pants and go off for a smoke? Wouldn’t put it past him…


“Don’t look at me like that you grumpy fuck” Sanji said. “I’ll go and get you a spare pair from the bunk room. You’re bloody lucky that a good fuck puts me in a generous mood. You tore my best shirt, you cave man!” he stood up, finally fully dressed, he straightened his tie and collar then began to fumble in his pockets for a cigarette. He stole a glance at Zoro, who was trying not to grin at his backhanded compliment.


“Don’t you look so happy, baka. It was expensive” he said, affectionately kicking the mossy green head as he turned to leave.


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Sanji didn’t know what to do. Damn Zoro wanted to fuck him just as often as he wanted to fight him. Pretty much all the time. Not that Sanji minded. Heck, he loved it! Having that kind of power over Zoro was almost intoxicating…


…but it was rather inconvenient.


What if the ladies started to wonder why he was hanging around so much? Zoro was hot, all rich coffee coloured skin and defined muscle… Sanji wondered what he’d taste like with dark chocolate and candied orange peel. If Zoro was a flavour it would have to be strong black coffee… rich, full, strong, and bitter-sweet.

Sanji would always have a soft spot for the gentler sex though - if you could really call Nami and Robin gentle - but what if they walked in while Zoro was hounding him? It would be pretty hard to explain it if they strolled through the door and he was trying baste meat with his hands while fending off a horny swordsman with his feet.


In a way the situation was better because they had almost gone back to their normal relationship. Sanji didn’t really want to admit it but he had gotten used to his constant fights with the shitty-marimo and he had missed them. Most of his life was caught up with cooking, fighting, and charming; Zoro was a vital outlet for him. Now that the swordsman wasn’t running away from him constantly and he was fighting him again everything was normal… except for the fact that Sanji couldn’t seem to even be able to crack an egg without Zoro cracking a fat.


The swordsman had taken to hanging around in the galley making lewd suggestions and generally preventing Sanji from doing anything useful. Stupid moss-head. It had only been two days since their night together and he was acting like he hadn’t had sex for months!


He could tell that Zoro was still wrestling with his sexuality and trying to figure out what was going on but it seemed like the bastard was just too horny to care. Right now he had the swordsman pinned on the floor with a nice strong leg bar. It was a technique that allowed him to trap the swordsman’s legs in his own and twist until Zoro’s hip was about to pop out of joint. It didn’t use his hands either so he was trying to light a cigarette at the same time. Flame kept missing the end of his smoke though because Zoro kept wriggling.


It had been too easy to trap him; he hadn’t even bought his katanas. Now Sanji had moved the table further from the stove, he had a heaps more room to defend himself. That’s right. He even had to move the furniture ‘cause the bastard was so horny.


Only Zoro.


Not that Sanji had really helped much. He had to admit it. Even though it was starting to annoy him that his omelettes were all flat, he couldn’t help but bait the swordsman. It was just so damn fun. He had worn his favourite pair of pants today. The pair that showed off his long legs and his ass just perfect. He had made light pastries for the ladies for afternoon tea and then tried to think what he could put with them. It needed to involve stirring or beating… Cream. Perfect. He could put it with vanilla and fine white sugar… they’d love it!


As long as he was whipping when Zoro came in from his afternoon training, it would be just right. Sanji couldn’t wait to see his face. He knew that it made his ass jiggle ever so slightly. Guaranteed crowd pleaser.


Zoro had come in breathing heavy and covered in sweat. It was still fresh and filled the galley with the musky smell of raw power. Sanji could feel the heat coming off him in waves. He had to admit it, every time Zoro came near him his heart pounded and all the blood went straight to the bottom half of his body. Damn sexy marimo. How was he meant to tease him successfully when doing it made him just as hot? Oh well, it was a good way to pass the time until Nami realised just how amazing he was. That was what he told himself, anyway.


Zoro slid down onto the bench seat facing Sanji and stretched out along it, swinging one leg off the edge idly.


“Did you make me a little treat?” he asked, licking his lips and looking at Sanji’s ass. He had spent all morning doing the same thing. On reflection, maybe the pants had been overkill.


Not that that was going to stop him now...


“’Course not, this is for the ladies. Like you’d appreciate really good pastry!”


“You’d be surprised” Zoro drawled, slouching further until he was lying down across the bench, chin resting on the table. His head was at about ass level. Sanji smirked to himself; he was going to go nuts.


He reached over a long arm and grabbed the cream from the bench, added the vanilla seeds and the sugar, then started to whip. At first he wasn’t sure whether Zoro had even noticed. He didn’t want to look in case the swordsman noticed that he was doing it on purpose.


He was going to win next time. Not that he didn’t win last time, but this time there would be no doubt. He just had to get Zoro flustered enough without letting him get too close. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t get hot rushing throbs every time the swordsman closed his arms around his waist and pulled them close. He just had more patience than Zoro. Big surprise.


What the guy had done to his silk shirt proved that he was a wild man. What sort of man could just tear up a beautiful shirt like that without even blinking? Typical crude Zoro. He probably hadn’t even noticed it was silk! Too keen to get to what was underneath. It was too horrible to think about but somehow it gave him a tiny little thrill…


The cream was starting to thicken into soft peaks but Zoro still hadn’t made a sound. Too late, Sanji felt a presence right behind him and dropped the bowl just as strong hands grabbed him on the ass. Somehow the sneaky bastard had got behind him!


Sanji dropped one leg and wrapped the other one up around Zoro neatly tying him in a knot and sitting on him in one fluid motion. It was amazing how much of a difference just an extra metre made.


So now here he was; trying to light his cigarette with a horny Zoro wrapped between his legs. Bastard wasn’t even trying to escape. He was just grinning and wriggling against Sanji’s ass. “I’m going to get you shitty cook” he said, his voice rich and low and threatening. His eyes narrowed into lustful slits and he growled.


Sanji finally lit his smoke and then put his hands down over Zoro, one on each side of his mossy head. Zoro smirked back up at him “It’s about time y…” he said as Sanji put his weight on his upper body and unwound his legs sending the swordsman spinning with a crash into the corner of the galley. He put his feet back down and then straightened himself up. The cream was ok. Good. He picked up the whisk and started whipping again. He heard Zoro stand up and glanced over his shoulder to make sure he knew where the bastard was.


He was coming straight toward him, and he looked like he was about to ruin his second pair of pants in a week. Persistent fucker.


“Nami-san! Robin-chan! I made French pastries for you!!!” he called out, loudly. Zoro froze.


“You fucking tease!” he said “I’ll get you…” his dark eyes simmered with lust.


There was a loud crack and the door splintered into pieces. Luffy’s head briefly rocketed into the galley and then went sailing out again just as quickly.


“Hey Sanji!” he called out, from wherever his body actually was “I want some too! Gimme some pastry! I’m hungry! And meat! I need meat!”


Usopp peered around the shattered door frame. Nose first, the rest of him close behind. “Ah Sanji-san” he said, beaming “I see that you have heard about the fierce battle Captain Usopp has fought with the laundry this fine day and wish to reward me for my..” he bit his tongue hard as Nami knuckled him into the deck.


“Stop being such an idiot!” she said. She was in a bad mood because Luffy’s most recent bout of destruction had made her hand jump just while she was drawing one of the last lines on a map she had been working on for a week. A week!


Zoro sat down at the bench and waited patiently until everyone had poured into the room, devoured the pastries and clamoured out. He closed his eyes and mused on all of the things that he was going to do to Sanji. He had enjoyed his night with the shitty cook and now even his presence was like a drug. He was strong enough for Zoro to spar with; not just fight but really spar with. He was the only one he could let loose with and not have to hold back. The only one except Luffy, but Luffy was too relaxed to fight. He had his goals but he could never be serious fighting his nakama. Sanji took him seriously. He could help him to get closer to his goal. He was hot and sweet. He was sex and violence.


He had gone to deliver a set of the nicest pastries to Robin who had avoided the rush and stayed in her chair on deck. Now that Zoro had a taste of the sweet flesh he had been craving he couldn’t bring himself to be jealous. He’d come back. And when he did….


“So you’re still here” said Sanji, strolling back in to the galley with an empty plate. “I thought you would have run off to the crows nest” he smirked and started to clean up the kitchen. Zoro had time to cool down a little. He was sure that the shitty cook was just as horny as he was. He couldn’t let it get to him. Play it cool. Control. It was just like everything between them: a competition.


He’d have him begging in the end no matter what it took. Sanji had toyed with him and he was still doing it now. There was going to be some serious revenge for that.


“How come your legs are so strong if you never train?” asked Zoro, looking at them and trying not to think about any of the things that sprang to mind. Pale soft warm…


Sanji looked over in surprise. “Why’d you care?”


“I want you to share your strength with me” he looked at Sanji with burning intensity. “Make me stronger.” The cook smouldered under his gaze.


He wants me to what?


“Don’t take the piss shit head” Sanji turned back to cleaning up. Stupid swordsman was going to pretend like he actually gave a toss what the cook thought all of a sudden. He just wanted to get into his pants. That was fine with Sanji but that was all it was. Zoro wasn’t the type to care about anyone except himself. Sanji knew that.


He had come through for Luffy and the crew when they needed him… but Sanji had always known it was just because the bastard thought Luffy would take him to Mihawk. He was always so cold and fucking inhuman, like he had a heart of burnished steel.


Then Sanji remembered the look in his eyes as he flushed hot and ran from the room too afraid to spar… The way he looked at him the other night; lust, hope, and fear all mixed together. He turned back to face Zoro. He was looking intently at his knuckles as if they were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. He lounged on the bench, shoulders drooping lazily but there was something about the way he sat that spoke of hidden tension.


What the heck.


“I train while I’m cooking” Sanji said. Zoro looked up at him, confused. “I work on my balance while I’m at the bench,” Sanji lifted one leg up to demonstrate, holding it straight out at a right angle while he washed the dishes “…and I always use my feet as much as I can when I’m cooking.” He put his foot back down and stared at it. He felt really awkward. He peered back up at Zoro through a blonde curtain of hair. He was grinning.


“Show me” he said.


Sanji put his hands into his pockets and gave the swordsman a calculating look. Then he lifted one foot and kicked the corner of a plate and sent it spinning into the air. He spun around and caught the plate on the top of his thigh and then rolled it down his leg, sliding it neatly into the cupboard. Then he hit another plate with the ball of his foot, this time letting it spin on the end of his shoe before flipping it around to land it flat on the side of his foot. He held his pose for a minute, the plate balanced precariously.


“I swear, if you’re taking the piss…” he said, Zoro’s eyes twinkled “I don’t know what I’ll do to you….” Zoro just kept eyeing him with a level lazy stare, his lips curled ever so slightly. What the hell was he thinking? He didn’t seem to want to fight him or fuck him. What was happening in his head? Was there anything else? Sanji couldn’t help the feeling that he was on the brink of something terrible. Or beautiful.


But this was Zoro.


“What?” Sanji snapped, trying to figure out whether he was somehow being made fun of. He finally slid the plate down onto the shelf and took his hands out of his pockets. He picked up the dish cloth and began to dry the dishes again. Freaking marimo creeping me out.


“Nothing” Zoro drawled, smiling up at him from half-lidded eyes.


“What!?” asked Sanji again, slamming his foot down on the table next to Zoro’s head to emphasise the question.


Zoro sat up and stretched complacently, all his former passion and blind lust seemed to have disappeared. Sanji didn’t know whether to be pleased or disappointed. What game was this thick headed moss man playing?


“I was just thinking how you’re the perfect housewife” said Zoro, standing, and dodging the sweeping kick that Sanji aimed at his head. He ducked again and got to the empty doorway as Sanji was starting to feel the blood boil up into his cheeks.


“Don’t wait up, sweetheart” Zoro said as he ducked around the awning, he could hear wood shattering behind him as Sanji cleared out the last bits of the door frame where his head had just been.


Zoro didn’t really know what Sanji was thinking with his tight pants and filthy mouth but whatever game he was playing, Zoro would play too.


If he could keep himself under control that long.


Sanji looked so hot when he was mad…


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