Moments
folder
Death Note › Yaoi-Male/Male › Mello/Matt
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
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Category:
Death Note › Yaoi-Male/Male › Mello/Matt
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
5
Views:
1,250
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own or make any money off of Death Note
Crave
Suggested Listening: Crave, I Only Want What I Cant Have by t.a.t.u
~Crave~
Matt watched Mello as he slept, the jagged strands of his hair splattered across the pillow like a golden halo of blood, and the way the thin sheet clung to the blonde's slender body as he breathed in and out. He sometimes wondered if Mello could sense him watching, if he knew Matt watched him. And Matt wondered if he would stop doing it should Mello say something, should Mello know.
He probably would. It would be better for him, probably, if he were to stop the nightly habit. It was destroying him. Being able to look but never touch.
Mello leaving had nearly killed him. Matt honestly had no idea how he had survived the years in the blonde's absence, though he supposed drugs could do that to ones memory. But Matt knew it hadn't been the drugs that had cleared the fog from his mind. It had been the scarred blonde sleeping not even six feet from him, face slightly illuminated by the laptop seated on the table, paused on some porn video in case Mello should wake to ask what he was doing.
But he knew Mello wouldn't.
Because he never did.
And Matt wished he could hate the blonde for it, because he just couldn't seem to stop on his own.
Matt was gay. Always had been. And definitely always would be.
Mello was not gay, couldn't stand the thought of them and the way they sinned, despite all of the comments he received all throughout his youth and even now when he walked down the street in that skintight leather. Mello wasn't gay but damned if Matt didn't wish he was.
Matt had always wanted what he couldn't have.
A family.
A best friend.
Mello.
He had never known his family unlike many who had attended Wammys. He had been dropped off the side of a bridge and was a miracle baby because he had somehow survived and had been fished out by some good samaritan who had seen the redheaded homeless woman do it. Matt couldn't help but feel a little bitter towards the samaritan.
Matt had a best friend. Emphasis on had. Mello had been that person, once upon a time. And then he had abandoned him when L died and had only called, years later, when he had been a bleeding wreck on the side of the road with chunks of leather brunt to his skin and bits of shrapnel in his wounds; but he hadn't been his friend since they were kids. Mello wasn't Mello anymore.
And Mello would never be his lover, no matter how much Matt longed for it. How much he loved the fucker silently.
And Matt wasn't sure what was worse, knowing that he would end up dead because of the person he loved, or knowing that the person he loved despised what he was. God only knew what would happen should Mello find out he was gay...
He smiled slightly, twinged with regret for things never to be, and brushed a strand of hair out of Mello's face. Mello could never love him, but no matter what, Matt would be there for him, always.
-End-
~Crave~
Matt watched Mello as he slept, the jagged strands of his hair splattered across the pillow like a golden halo of blood, and the way the thin sheet clung to the blonde's slender body as he breathed in and out. He sometimes wondered if Mello could sense him watching, if he knew Matt watched him. And Matt wondered if he would stop doing it should Mello say something, should Mello know.
He probably would. It would be better for him, probably, if he were to stop the nightly habit. It was destroying him. Being able to look but never touch.
Mello leaving had nearly killed him. Matt honestly had no idea how he had survived the years in the blonde's absence, though he supposed drugs could do that to ones memory. But Matt knew it hadn't been the drugs that had cleared the fog from his mind. It had been the scarred blonde sleeping not even six feet from him, face slightly illuminated by the laptop seated on the table, paused on some porn video in case Mello should wake to ask what he was doing.
But he knew Mello wouldn't.
Because he never did.
And Matt wished he could hate the blonde for it, because he just couldn't seem to stop on his own.
Matt was gay. Always had been. And definitely always would be.
Mello was not gay, couldn't stand the thought of them and the way they sinned, despite all of the comments he received all throughout his youth and even now when he walked down the street in that skintight leather. Mello wasn't gay but damned if Matt didn't wish he was.
Matt had always wanted what he couldn't have.
A family.
A best friend.
Mello.
He had never known his family unlike many who had attended Wammys. He had been dropped off the side of a bridge and was a miracle baby because he had somehow survived and had been fished out by some good samaritan who had seen the redheaded homeless woman do it. Matt couldn't help but feel a little bitter towards the samaritan.
Matt had a best friend. Emphasis on had. Mello had been that person, once upon a time. And then he had abandoned him when L died and had only called, years later, when he had been a bleeding wreck on the side of the road with chunks of leather brunt to his skin and bits of shrapnel in his wounds; but he hadn't been his friend since they were kids. Mello wasn't Mello anymore.
And Mello would never be his lover, no matter how much Matt longed for it. How much he loved the fucker silently.
And Matt wasn't sure what was worse, knowing that he would end up dead because of the person he loved, or knowing that the person he loved despised what he was. God only knew what would happen should Mello find out he was gay...
He smiled slightly, twinged with regret for things never to be, and brushed a strand of hair out of Mello's face. Mello could never love him, but no matter what, Matt would be there for him, always.
-End-