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Category:
zMisplaced Stories [ADMIN use only] › Bleach
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
3
Views:
840
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
i do not own one piece, bleach, or bastrard and i do not make a profit from this one piece © eichiro oda bleach ©tite kubo and bastard ©kazushi hagiwara
Q and A
Alright then let's go down the line and introduce ourselves shall we. You may all call me Kage for now"
Everyone went around the table and briefly introduced themselves. Something pretty average until they got to Brook Mary finally realized that he wasn't a skeleton anymore he had an actual human body. "WOAH BROOK YOU HAVE A BODY!!!" Mary shouted. A faint blush could be seen forming on brook's cheeks. Kage spoke up "yes maybe I should explain. Since you will all be going to public places and those are real people out there I thought it best to put brook in a human body rather than have a talking skeleton running around. "He explained
Mary just nodded mindlessly as they continued on to finish the introductions.
"Now that we are finished with the intros it's time for a round of Q and A all these men will ask Amy and Mary a question "
"WAIT WHAT WE NEVER AGREED TO THAT" both girls shouted
Kage laughed nervously " yea well I am the head of this show so you have to do what I say" he quickly escaped into the shadows " I’ll be back to show you to your rooms
The introductions were done and they began with Luffy to ask the first question. He stood up "ah yes both of you. Do the carpets match the drapes?"
"No" Mary said flatly and all the men in the room fell to the floor. Amy did not take the question so well Luffy met with ms.footinyourface she was screaming all sorts of obscenities "YOU LITTLE FUCKING PERVERT WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!" she screamed, she continued stomping his face until Mary grabbed her from behind and pulled her away "calm down Amy it's just a question, who told you to ask that anyways Luffy?"
Luffy stood up after finally being saved from furious Amy "oh the silver haired wizard guy did”
Amy glared daggers at D.S., Mary just laughed and they reclaimed their former seats.
Next was Ace he stood up "I apologize for my stupid little brother and just would like to know what kind of men you prefer?" he spoke so politely it almost made Mary sick.
Amy swooned over the polite Ace "Guess I will answer first again, Well, Ace my dear, I prefer older taller men. Typically with dark hair and pale or lightly tanned skin...oooh and facial scars or facial hair is always very sexy. I also like men with medium or long hair, but sometimes short works. Also, attitude, I usually don't go for the heroes in stories, I like villains or the anti hero type. Oh, and he needs to have a decent sense of style and I think that just about covers it. "“Your turn" Mary turned to Amy.
Amy propped her elbow up on her knee and rested her head in her hand "well I like the same sorts of men Mary does but I like polite men not barbarians like Mary."
Mary just glared at Amy and Amy just grinned at her.
Next was Crocodile Before saying anything he lit up a cigar and blew a big puff of smoke in their direction? "I can see you're both short women, so how tall are you and how old are you two?"
Amy growled "I AM NOT SHORT!!! I am 5'7" that is AVERAGE for a woman my age, and that age is 23" she said in her matter of fact tone with her arms crossed.
Mary laughed "well Crocodile, I am short. I'm the same age as Amy and I am 5'1"" she giggled as she rose to her feet and wiggled her hips. She heard a resounding 'aawwwwww' from most of the men. "Oh mary-chan you're so tiny like a little doll, how cute" Kyoraku swooned.
"Amy swan reminds me of name chwan" Sanji’s eyes were filled with hearts”
Mary just laughed and Amy scooted as far away from Sanji as possible.
Next in line was Brook he rose from his chair just as Luffy and ace did " ah yes you are both such beauties, could I perhaps see your panties?" he asked in a gent manly manner.
"No can do" Mary said flatly
Amy yelled "you'll tell people that your carpet don’t match the drapes but you wont show panties? You confuse me" she glared
"its not that I am embarrassed it's just that I’m not wearing panties. How can I show something that I am not wearing?" she asked innocently
Amy was at a loss of words
meanwhile Brook had passed out from a severe nosebleed.
Most of the other men suffered the same fate, but they soon recovered and attempted to re-gain composure.
Next was Sanji he took Amy's and Mary’s hands in his own, looked into both their eyes and asked "Since I am a cook how bout you ladies tell me your favorite foods? I would love to make them for you"
Amy blushed "aww that is so nice. I am so glad you can cook because I sure as hell can't"
"Me I really like Steak and Burgers and I love cheese even though I am lactose intolerant , oh and I am really not much of a vegetable person and I really don’t like chicken that much."
Mary rolled her eyes "Well like Amy I love Steak, big meaty juicy steak. I also love cheeseburgers and I LOVE cheese and I have no problem with lactose, unlike my intolerant friend here"
Mary shook her head "Racist“,” Anyways I also enjoy seafood and chicken and really anything as long as it's meat and doesn't taste like shit."
She turned to her friend and laughed Amy shook her head " racist how am I racist"
"because you are intolerant toward lactose and therefore racist"
Amy laughed "well so sorry my body hurts if I eat any milk products. So sorry I was born the way"
Mary looked at her “you should be” both girls erupted in laughter
“FRANKY....ASK YOUR QUESTION” Mary shouted in a raspy voice
“uhh.. uhhh.."FFranky stumbled over words for a minute
“How about favorite COLA!!!” he shouted energetically
“Mountain Dew” both girls said in unison
Next was Dark Schneider Mary had actually been looking forward to what he’d ask.
D.S. put on his best Mr. handsome face and asked smoothly "so Amy and Mary re you virgins?" he purred
"Nope, far from it" Mary retorted flatly, she then turned to Amy who look very flustered. Mary pushed her glasses down on her nose and gave Amy a look that told her to stay calm and answer the damn question. "Yea same here" Amy said quietly
D.S. grinned” that means I can do this" he lunged to plant a big kiss on Mary, but Amy stopped that nonsense by planting a kick right in his jaw.
Mary laughed and D.S. retreated back to his seat in defeat.
Next was Grimmjow
he leaned back in his chair with his feet propped up on the table. He merely snorted and completely ignored them.
they just decided to move onto Kenpachi
he looked at both girls "which one of you is the strongest"
Mary looked up by now she had made herself comfortable .she was laying on her back , her head was resting on Amy’s thigh while she was sitting with her hands behind her for support.
"Well......we're really both pretty equally matched in all honesty. She just likes to fight more than I do. I'm too lazy and rather just relax and smoke."
Amy shrugged "yea pretty much"
next was Ukitake he smiled at the two girls. He looked so sweet and innocent "what kinds of flowers do you girls like?"
Mary snorted and rolled her eyes "I dunno anything I guess as long as it's red, that's my favorite color"
Amy gave Mary a light smack on the head.
Amy smiled at Ukitake "I really like lilies"
next was Kyoraku Shunsui
"so what is your type of dream date?"
Amy's eyes lit up "I would love to go on a nice romantic dinner and maybe a nice movie. Oh! And then a nice walk in the park to finish off the night.”
Mary rolled her eyes" well, I would actually want to stay at home and cook a really nice meal together then eat and watch a nice movie and just relax and snuggle on the couch "
Shunsui smiled " ah so Amy Chan likes adventure and romance and Mary Chan likes closeness and bonding. how cute" he chided
next was Urahara
"oh hello pretty ladies, how do you both feel about blonde men?" he asked in hopefully
Mary and Amy exchanged glances "meah don't care for Blondie’s" Amy tried not to shatter his hopes, but they did, poor urahara.
And finally it was Aizen's turn. He looked at them both with his piercing gaze. Amy really did not trust him.
" Ok, So it’s obvious that at least one or both of you like the shows that we are all from. My questions, who are you favorite and least favorite people from each realm?”
Mary grinned “ Well let’s see , since you asked the question I will start with Bleach”
Mary sat up and folded her legs Indian style. She rested her hands on her thighs. “ Well my least favorite characters in Bleach are Orihime , the big captain furry dude , oh and Toushiro vice captain the chick with the big rack , I think her name is Rangiku or something like that. Oh and I really can’t stand that Ulquiorra faggot and Ichigo, I want to murder that faggot “
Mary folded her arms over her chest “ Now for my favorite Bleach characters I’d have to say oh Kenpachi , “ she smiled at Kenpachi “ oh! and you , you and you” she pointed to Grimmjow, Kyoraku , and Aizen
Mary giggled
“oi Mary san why so much hate for Inoue chan , Ichigo san ,Sajin san and Rangiku chan “ Kyoraku asked with deep concern in his voice
Mary stood up “ well I don’t like Ichigo and Orihime because all they do is sit around and talk about their damn feeling all day. I can’t stand Rangiku because she’s fucking useless and can’t fight worth a damn fur fag and Ulquiorra just because I just irritates me because he’s a coward and Mr.3 is really annoying and I hate his face. “ can well and because ulquiorra looks and acts like some emo faggot and I just can’t stand them. Good enough .” she bent over bringing their faces fairly close together .
Kage put some distance between the two “ now, now no fighting, please Mary continue on”
Mary continued “ Ok so now I am on One Piece …hmm lets see , well, I really don’t care much for Usopp because his nose is freaky and he’s just retarded and Buggy
Luffy laughed at Mary’s remark about Usopp’s nose “ yea it is really weird isn’t it “
Ace rolled his eyes “Luffy you are so stupid Mary continue on who is your favorite”
Mary smiled “ Well my favorite is Crocodile, but I also like Brook and that is really it” she giggled
Brook blushed “yohohohohohoh I’m so honored to have the favor of such a charming lady”
Crocodile looked down at Mary. He really couldn’t believe any woman would ever openly admit they liked him let alone a pretty one.
“Now to finish off in the bastard realm my least favorite is Gara because he’s just always way too serious and my favorite is Dark Schneider” she clapped her hands together “yay we’re done now”
Kage smiled and that is it for introductions. Now let me show you all to your rooms.
Mary and Amy gathered up their baggage and everyone followed Kage to their respective rooms.
Everyone got their own room. Except for Mary and Amy they shared a room together located in the basement . They were separated from the men by 2 stories and they were ok with that
---------------------------------------------
A/N whew so sorry for the long introduction.
Next chapter is everyone’s first whole day together. Oh how fun this will be!!!!
Everyone went around the table and briefly introduced themselves. Something pretty average until they got to Brook Mary finally realized that he wasn't a skeleton anymore he had an actual human body. "WOAH BROOK YOU HAVE A BODY!!!" Mary shouted. A faint blush could be seen forming on brook's cheeks. Kage spoke up "yes maybe I should explain. Since you will all be going to public places and those are real people out there I thought it best to put brook in a human body rather than have a talking skeleton running around. "He explained
Mary just nodded mindlessly as they continued on to finish the introductions.
"Now that we are finished with the intros it's time for a round of Q and A all these men will ask Amy and Mary a question "
"WAIT WHAT WE NEVER AGREED TO THAT" both girls shouted
Kage laughed nervously " yea well I am the head of this show so you have to do what I say" he quickly escaped into the shadows " I’ll be back to show you to your rooms
The introductions were done and they began with Luffy to ask the first question. He stood up "ah yes both of you. Do the carpets match the drapes?"
"No" Mary said flatly and all the men in the room fell to the floor. Amy did not take the question so well Luffy met with ms.footinyourface she was screaming all sorts of obscenities "YOU LITTLE FUCKING PERVERT WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!" she screamed, she continued stomping his face until Mary grabbed her from behind and pulled her away "calm down Amy it's just a question, who told you to ask that anyways Luffy?"
Luffy stood up after finally being saved from furious Amy "oh the silver haired wizard guy did”
Amy glared daggers at D.S., Mary just laughed and they reclaimed their former seats.
Next was Ace he stood up "I apologize for my stupid little brother and just would like to know what kind of men you prefer?" he spoke so politely it almost made Mary sick.
Amy swooned over the polite Ace "Guess I will answer first again, Well, Ace my dear, I prefer older taller men. Typically with dark hair and pale or lightly tanned skin...oooh and facial scars or facial hair is always very sexy. I also like men with medium or long hair, but sometimes short works. Also, attitude, I usually don't go for the heroes in stories, I like villains or the anti hero type. Oh, and he needs to have a decent sense of style and I think that just about covers it. "“Your turn" Mary turned to Amy.
Amy propped her elbow up on her knee and rested her head in her hand "well I like the same sorts of men Mary does but I like polite men not barbarians like Mary."
Mary just glared at Amy and Amy just grinned at her.
Next was Crocodile Before saying anything he lit up a cigar and blew a big puff of smoke in their direction? "I can see you're both short women, so how tall are you and how old are you two?"
Amy growled "I AM NOT SHORT!!! I am 5'7" that is AVERAGE for a woman my age, and that age is 23" she said in her matter of fact tone with her arms crossed.
Mary laughed "well Crocodile, I am short. I'm the same age as Amy and I am 5'1"" she giggled as she rose to her feet and wiggled her hips. She heard a resounding 'aawwwwww' from most of the men. "Oh mary-chan you're so tiny like a little doll, how cute" Kyoraku swooned.
"Amy swan reminds me of name chwan" Sanji’s eyes were filled with hearts”
Mary just laughed and Amy scooted as far away from Sanji as possible.
Next in line was Brook he rose from his chair just as Luffy and ace did " ah yes you are both such beauties, could I perhaps see your panties?" he asked in a gent manly manner.
"No can do" Mary said flatly
Amy yelled "you'll tell people that your carpet don’t match the drapes but you wont show panties? You confuse me" she glared
"its not that I am embarrassed it's just that I’m not wearing panties. How can I show something that I am not wearing?" she asked innocently
Amy was at a loss of words
meanwhile Brook had passed out from a severe nosebleed.
Most of the other men suffered the same fate, but they soon recovered and attempted to re-gain composure.
Next was Sanji he took Amy's and Mary’s hands in his own, looked into both their eyes and asked "Since I am a cook how bout you ladies tell me your favorite foods? I would love to make them for you"
Amy blushed "aww that is so nice. I am so glad you can cook because I sure as hell can't"
"Me I really like Steak and Burgers and I love cheese even though I am lactose intolerant , oh and I am really not much of a vegetable person and I really don’t like chicken that much."
Mary rolled her eyes "Well like Amy I love Steak, big meaty juicy steak. I also love cheeseburgers and I LOVE cheese and I have no problem with lactose, unlike my intolerant friend here"
Mary shook her head "Racist“,” Anyways I also enjoy seafood and chicken and really anything as long as it's meat and doesn't taste like shit."
She turned to her friend and laughed Amy shook her head " racist how am I racist"
"because you are intolerant toward lactose and therefore racist"
Amy laughed "well so sorry my body hurts if I eat any milk products. So sorry I was born the way"
Mary looked at her “you should be” both girls erupted in laughter
“FRANKY....ASK YOUR QUESTION” Mary shouted in a raspy voice
“uhh.. uhhh.."FFranky stumbled over words for a minute
“How about favorite COLA!!!” he shouted energetically
“Mountain Dew” both girls said in unison
Next was Dark Schneider Mary had actually been looking forward to what he’d ask.
D.S. put on his best Mr. handsome face and asked smoothly "so Amy and Mary re you virgins?" he purred
"Nope, far from it" Mary retorted flatly, she then turned to Amy who look very flustered. Mary pushed her glasses down on her nose and gave Amy a look that told her to stay calm and answer the damn question. "Yea same here" Amy said quietly
D.S. grinned” that means I can do this" he lunged to plant a big kiss on Mary, but Amy stopped that nonsense by planting a kick right in his jaw.
Mary laughed and D.S. retreated back to his seat in defeat.
Next was Grimmjow
he leaned back in his chair with his feet propped up on the table. He merely snorted and completely ignored them.
they just decided to move onto Kenpachi
he looked at both girls "which one of you is the strongest"
Mary looked up by now she had made herself comfortable .she was laying on her back , her head was resting on Amy’s thigh while she was sitting with her hands behind her for support.
"Well......we're really both pretty equally matched in all honesty. She just likes to fight more than I do. I'm too lazy and rather just relax and smoke."
Amy shrugged "yea pretty much"
next was Ukitake he smiled at the two girls. He looked so sweet and innocent "what kinds of flowers do you girls like?"
Mary snorted and rolled her eyes "I dunno anything I guess as long as it's red, that's my favorite color"
Amy gave Mary a light smack on the head.
Amy smiled at Ukitake "I really like lilies"
next was Kyoraku Shunsui
"so what is your type of dream date?"
Amy's eyes lit up "I would love to go on a nice romantic dinner and maybe a nice movie. Oh! And then a nice walk in the park to finish off the night.”
Mary rolled her eyes" well, I would actually want to stay at home and cook a really nice meal together then eat and watch a nice movie and just relax and snuggle on the couch "
Shunsui smiled " ah so Amy Chan likes adventure and romance and Mary Chan likes closeness and bonding. how cute" he chided
next was Urahara
"oh hello pretty ladies, how do you both feel about blonde men?" he asked in hopefully
Mary and Amy exchanged glances "meah don't care for Blondie’s" Amy tried not to shatter his hopes, but they did, poor urahara.
And finally it was Aizen's turn. He looked at them both with his piercing gaze. Amy really did not trust him.
" Ok, So it’s obvious that at least one or both of you like the shows that we are all from. My questions, who are you favorite and least favorite people from each realm?”
Mary grinned “ Well let’s see , since you asked the question I will start with Bleach”
Mary sat up and folded her legs Indian style. She rested her hands on her thighs. “ Well my least favorite characters in Bleach are Orihime , the big captain furry dude , oh and Toushiro vice captain the chick with the big rack , I think her name is Rangiku or something like that. Oh and I really can’t stand that Ulquiorra faggot and Ichigo, I want to murder that faggot “
Mary folded her arms over her chest “ Now for my favorite Bleach characters I’d have to say oh Kenpachi , “ she smiled at Kenpachi “ oh! and you , you and you” she pointed to Grimmjow, Kyoraku , and Aizen
Mary giggled
“oi Mary san why so much hate for Inoue chan , Ichigo san ,Sajin san and Rangiku chan “ Kyoraku asked with deep concern in his voice
Mary stood up “ well I don’t like Ichigo and Orihime because all they do is sit around and talk about their damn feeling all day. I can’t stand Rangiku because she’s fucking useless and can’t fight worth a damn fur fag and Ulquiorra just because I just irritates me because he’s a coward and Mr.3 is really annoying and I hate his face. “ can well and because ulquiorra looks and acts like some emo faggot and I just can’t stand them. Good enough .” she bent over bringing their faces fairly close together .
Kage put some distance between the two “ now, now no fighting, please Mary continue on”
Mary continued “ Ok so now I am on One Piece …hmm lets see , well, I really don’t care much for Usopp because his nose is freaky and he’s just retarded and Buggy
Luffy laughed at Mary’s remark about Usopp’s nose “ yea it is really weird isn’t it “
Ace rolled his eyes “Luffy you are so stupid Mary continue on who is your favorite”
Mary smiled “ Well my favorite is Crocodile, but I also like Brook and that is really it” she giggled
Brook blushed “yohohohohohoh I’m so honored to have the favor of such a charming lady”
Crocodile looked down at Mary. He really couldn’t believe any woman would ever openly admit they liked him let alone a pretty one.
“Now to finish off in the bastard realm my least favorite is Gara because he’s just always way too serious and my favorite is Dark Schneider” she clapped her hands together “yay we’re done now”
Kage smiled and that is it for introductions. Now let me show you all to your rooms.
Mary and Amy gathered up their baggage and everyone followed Kage to their respective rooms.
Everyone got their own room. Except for Mary and Amy they shared a room together located in the basement . They were separated from the men by 2 stories and they were ok with that
---------------------------------------------
A/N whew so sorry for the long introduction.
Next chapter is everyone’s first whole day together. Oh how fun this will be!!!!