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No Idea	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Yaoi-Male/Male > L/Light Views: 2754 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
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CHAPTER 3: Sickness
When Light had finished dressing and emerged into the main part of the hotel suite, Carminious and Ryuk were both waiting there. Carminious said, "Both of us were hiding and watching your little performance. We thought you might do more if you didn't see us, but I see you failed to seduce him."
Light shot Carminious a glare as Mogi came up behind Light and began handcuffing him. That thing should not wear a bonnet, especially such a glittery, pink, ribbon-covered bonnet. Along with the Ryuk-like face, it was exactly the sort of sight that would give little kids nightmares. The rest of the pink-and-red outfit was merely gaudy and ridiculous, but that face and bonnet... ugh!
Carminious smirked and said, "Well, romance and sex aren't the same thing. You shouldn't feel too bad about being unable to seduce him within a few minutes of when he first fell in love with you. You'll have to woo him. Unless he's completely asexual, he'll eventually sleep with you."
Light panicked for a moment. Eventually... how long might that be? Light needed L. Waiting, wondering, it would be an agony. And, that bastard Carminious hadn't told him everything. So, if L happened to be entirely asexual, Light would have to endure a kind of chaste love with him forever? No, no, that couldn't be true. Light had seen the look of interest in L's eyes as L had watched him masturbate. L liked watching. He wanted it.
Perhaps the man was used to acting like a robot or a computer, but he had real sexual feelings deep down. Light would bring those feelings out. He'd just keep working on him. Besides, today, L had probably been scared by the newness of his love, and the extreme stench of the perfume, and the fact that they might get caught and it would appear extremely unprofessional. There would be countless more opportunities for seduction.
Then Light was taken away to his cell, and for the most part his captivity was really boring. His hands were handcuffed behind his back most of the time, and his ankles were strapped together. With great difficulty, he could kind of wriggle around to get up onto or off of his cot, but the only real choices he had were whether to sit or lie down and whether to do those things on the cot or the floor.
They would only take him out of the restraints when someone was there to watch him, for his meals, for going to the bathroom, for showers, and for what L referred to as "Light's Special Fun Time" when the cameras would be turned off and L would come alone to watch Light masturbate. That was the only time L actually was in Light's cell. The other investigators took care of all the other tasks.
L was very talkative through the microphone, and when he wasn't performing some Kira-related test or interrogation, he sounded lonely, needy, interested in Light. Light thrilled to hear L's voice as well, and they often talked far into the night. Light ached for L's presence, to put his arms around L and lay his head on the man's chest, listening to that heartbeat thumping away. But L never allowed much physical contact. During "Light's Special Fun Time" L always put Light on a chain, almost like a dog on a leash, before undoing his handcuffs. Then L would crouch on a chair just out of reach and watch. His eyes never looked away. They were dark and mysterious, his gaze inscrutable but with an unmistakable element of interest.
A few times, Light was able to snatch a small kiss from L while the man was unlocking his handcuffs or putting them back on. Mostly, L was just too fast and slithered away from his grasp, but those few times Light managed to capture him briefly were so splendid, so wonderful.
L was just incredibly shy. He barely kissed back at all, his lips hesitant and gentle, unsure what to do. His innocence made him ten times as endearing to Light. Light's heart beat faster and his cock throbbed with anticipation as he thought about being the dominant one in the relationship. Yes, innocent, prudish little L had a lot to learn, and Kira would be there to teach him.
Light made sure to put on a big show for L during "Light's Special Fun Time" with moaning, groaning, crying out L's name and putting on a sultry, intense gaze as he stared hard directly into L's eyes. A few times Light got even bolder and said things like, "L, I want you to suck me, I want your lips right here instead of my hands. It would feel so good."
L never seemed disturbed by such statements, but he didn't say anything either. He just continued to watch, his eyes like black mirrors, almost unreadable, peering out from under his shaggy, unkempt black hair. Still, he was clearly in love. His declarations of friendship were coming over the microphone quite frequently, and L kept reminiscing about all sorts of college moments he'd shared with Light, often in a wistful tone, as if he desperately wanted to be back in that situation; when they weren't prisoner and captor, but just detective and suspect who were also college buddies.
Light soon discovered that he could request "Light's Special Fun Time" up to twice a day, which he did because of his boredom and the condition of lust he was driven into by hearing L's voice all day, and also because he hoped it would make L crack sooner. It didn't work, but Light had a lot of fun trying. It was a shared intimacy, and afterwards he always lay there imagining all sorts of things he could do with L, not just sexual things but romantic ones.
Light learned that a great number of his fantasies involved a cross-dressing L. Perhaps it was just his natural, underlying heterosexuality coming out. Yes, Light was going to get L into so many different girly outfits, get him to parade in front of Light like a stripper, slowly removing one item of clothing at a time. Light especially liked fantasizing about L in a dress that was bound up with lacing, so that he could take forever slowly undoing the laces, both of them getting hotter and hotter the entire time, so that when the dress finally got removed, L would be begging Light to penetrate him. L would be needy and desperate.
Then, all too soon, Ryuk was getting enormously worked up about the lack of apples and Light realized the death god might kill him unless he gave up ownership immediately. He'd have to give up his memories, and with that, he'd forget that L didn't have a choice about the relationship and couldn't be scared away. Then, Light would probably be shy, afraid he'd ruin the love if he pushed too hard. This, this was one of the big reasons why he'd tried to seduce L right away, before he forgot there was no risk to it.
Well, there was no helping it. Light slipped the code word for giving up the death note into an innocent-sounding sentence, Ryuk walked away, and the next moment Light was sitting on the floor in confusion, trying to sort through a jumble of feelings he had and prior actions he'd taken that simply didn't make sense any more.
What had he been thinking when he'd requested imprisonment? Why had he said he might subconsciously be Kira? It was obvious that Kira knew what he was doing. The evidence plainly showed that. A person couldn't be Kira and not know it. And why had Light pursued the detective with such shameless sexual advances? Sure, he was in love, he could feel the warmth of it in his heart every time he thought about L, but the man had only shown lukewarm responses in return. It wasn't like Light to assume so much, so fast.
The thought of L getting fed up with things and rejecting him filled Light with an incredible, overwhelming panic. Life without L would be intense, unending misery. Maybe he should be careful and hold back. But still, he'd already embarrassed himself so much it was hard to imagine anything he could do would make L think worse of him, and if he halted his shameless shows and sexual advances, L might think Light had stopped liking him, and that thought was intolerable as well.
In the end, there really was nothing to lose by continuing the same things, and Light didn't think he could hold back his libido much anyway with all the fantasies about L that kept popping into his head, so Light kept up the pace of frequent masturbation and sexual advances.
Slowly, throughout his imprisonment, L did seem to be warming up a bit more to the kisses, keeping them slightly longer before breaking contact, learning a little about how to kiss back. And, L was always up for the nonsexual side of a romantic relationship. He loved long, heartfelt talks, and his frequent declarations of friendship were now containing more information about just how much he loved to be around Light, and how he hoped they'd keep spending time together after the Kira case was solved.
Then, the next thing Light knew, he was being taken away to be executed along with Misa. It didn't make sense. Sure, a lot of evidence pointed at Light, but there was no proof, and L always waited for proof. When Light's father drove the car to an abandoned place and said he'd kill Light and then himself, the tears that ran down Light's face were not for the thought of his own life ending, or of his father committing suicide, but because the life he'd imagined with L would never occur.
Light said, "I thought you loved me!"
His father thought Light was talking to him, but Light was really talking to L. Light was sure the detective must have hidden video cameras in the car. It wouldn't be like L to let his Kira suspects out of his sight. But, L's voice didn't answer back until after Light's father had shot a blank into his face. Then, L's voice was coldly methodical and logical, explaining how the test had shown it was safe to be around the Kira suspects, and he'd let Light join the investigation if Light agreed to be with him 24/7.
Light felt such a wash of warmth and excitement move through him at those words. He was going to be with L! All the time! Catching Kira was a secondary concern. This would be better than going to college together, even better than when he was on the investigation team before his imprisonment. Every single moment of his life would be in L's presence.
Light's whole body was filled with an incredible glow that didn't diminish even when he saw the six-foot-long chain L was going to keep him on. Sure, even when you were in love, you didn't necessarily want to be that close all the time, but Light had it pretty bad, and he saw the chain and handcuffs as an opportunity to make sure L couldn't get away from him. By the time he was done with L, the man would be so thoroughly seduced he wouldn't care about anything else.
L did insist that Light not dump Misa. Light didn't need to lead Misa on in any way, but if Light dumped her she might leak investigation secrets that would risk all their lives. So, for the time being, Light played the part of the completely indifferent boyfriend and even went on lame "dates" with her in her room at the investigation headquarters, with L trailing along at the end of the chain. Light didn't kiss her or pay attention to her, but Misa was such a delusional airhead that she continued to think it was a real relationship. Well, Light wasn't leading her on. He wouldn't do that to a woman. Misa was leading herself on.
The first night Light and L slept in the same bed, Light had thought he had his chance for a real seduction. He waited until L finally put away his laptop computer and looked like he was settling down, and then Light captured him for a long kiss. As usual, L's response was hesitant and half-hearted, but it was their longest kiss ever.
Then, still passionately kissing a weakly responsive L, Light had carefully and slowly tried to ease his hands under L's shirt. The next thing he knew, he'd been kicked in the face and was flying off the bed. The chain pulled L down on top of him. Light smiled, excited at the warm weight pressing down on his hard-on, and had tried, ever so gently, to get his hands under that shirt again. He was rewarded with another kick, this one straight to his privates and so hard he couldn't speak for five minutes.
Light quickly learned that L would let him masturbate as much as he wanted in L's presence, and he could say anything he wanted, no matter how dirty or suggestive it was. But, L had very strict rules about touching. Hugging and kissing were okay, but Light simply wasn't allowed to get under L's clothing. Even on the outside of the clothing, Light wasn't allowed to touch anywhere near the butt or the groin area. If Light didn't respect the boundaries, L would kick the shit out of him, zeroing in on his privates if Light got too persistent.
Sometimes Light couldn't even masturbate because his penis was one big bruise. He'd just lie in bed, hurting, having all those endless fantasies about L that he couldn't seem to get out of his head, and he didn't have the option of jerking off to relieve his tension. All he could do was stare helplessly as L erotically licked, slurped and sucked at so many different varieties of sweet, imagining what those skilled lips and tongue could do to him, if only L would stop being such a tease.
The rules in the shower were even stricter. Light wasn't allowed to touch at all in there, not even a kiss. Still, Light could put on any kind of sexual show, self-pleasuring and dirty talking as much as he wanted. It turned him on even more to do it while L was also naked. Although L looked interested, as always, Light was disappointed to see that L never got an erection from it, not even once.
Maybe that was his problem. L was impotent and ashamed of it. Although, even if they couldn't cure it, it wasn't that worrisome to Light. An impotent man could still be on the bottom. This was no obstacle to L being the uke.
Light managed to get Matsuda to sneak in more and more books and pamphlets about impotence and its various treatments, which he placed all around the room he shared with L, hoping L would take an interest in them. Finally, one night when L and Light were cuddling in bed, Light pressed his lips to L's ear and then said, "You don't have to be ashamed. We'll get through this together. I think we just have to try before deciding anything. I think if you'd let me suck on it, it would feel really good even if you didn't get hard."
"I can assure you," L said, "I'm not the slightest bit impotent."
Light said, "Then, why don't I ever see you get hard? Don't lie to me. I'm as smart as you are, you know."
L said, "I just have a lot of control. I don't care if you believe me or not, it's the truth."
Light said, "Ryuzaki, I want you to be entirely truthful. Are you sexually attracted to me?"
"Oh, probably."
Light said, "What do you mean probably? Are you saying you don't know if you're attracted to me or not?"
L rolled over to face Light. With wide, earnest eyes, he peered directly into Light's own eyes from just a few inches away. L said, "No, I just believe in waiting until people are really ready to accept each other. Don't you think that's best?"
What the hell did he mean by that? Does he think I don't accept him? Or that he doesn't accept me? Or is he waiting for marriage or some other kind of formal commitment?
Light opened his mouth, about to speak, but then noticed L was asleep. He sighed. If L didn't like sexual attention from Light, he should have rejected it in a way that actually seemed like a rejection. But, if he did like it, he sure had a weird way of showing it. Perhaps the guy was just so socially stunted that there was no way to interpret his actions and desires.
But, as far as the non-sexual things went, L had only increased his attentions. He was able to keep the goofy smiles to a minimum during working hours, but they increased exponentially as soon as everyone else went home, and were joined by long, sultry stares, L using his dark eyelashes in exactly the right way, giving his eyes a smoldering come-hither expression that sent jolts of fire straight into Light's groin. There were even more long talks about friendship than ever before, and there was now a constant stream of gifts, mostly candy.
Particularly during the Yotsuba investigation, Light was finding candy everywhere. Under his pillow, inside his shoes, even concealed inside normal food he was eating. It was special, because it was from L, even though it was far more than Light would ever eat on his own. So, he ate it, and pretended to enjoy it, even when it was giving him a terrible bellyache. L was sneaky, probably getting help from Watari, and Light hardly ever caught him putting the candy in place. Light sometimes felt like he was in love with a cat, except he was getting candy gifts instead of prey animals. Candy was L's equivalent of dead mice.
Then, pretty soon they knew the Yotsuba Kira was Higuchi thanks to L and Misa working together, and they had created the perfect trap to catch him. When that trap had fully sprung, L and Light jumped into the helicopter to join everyone else in the chase, and it seemed like things were so good, they could only get better, because now Kira was being captured. L would be forced to give up his suspicions about Light, and maybe that had been the real thing holding him back all along.
Then, after the police had surrounded Higuchi and secured him, the supposed supernatural killing notebook was making its way through the investigators, causing each one to scream and hallucinate a monster. L, of course, had to see this, and when Light saw the impossible, L with a shocked expression on his face as he gazed at an empty spot on the road, he had to snatch the notebook from L's limp fingers and see what all the fuss was about.
Death Note. I'm Kira. I met Carminious, a god of romance. L doesn't have a choice about being in love with me. I can use him as I please. I will make him beg. If I can't convert him, I can still kill him. I have enough willpower to kill the love of my life.
Light got his breath back, and made a bit of idle chatter to distract L from what he was doing. Using the death note itself to block the helicopter cameras from filming the actions with his watch, he quickly pricked his finger and wrote Higuchi's name in blood. Forty seconds later, Higuchi was dead and Light's memories were secure. Light turned his face away from L and smirked just slightly. Exactly as planned. Now, he just needed to dispose of the evidence in case L searched him. Light rolled up the bit of paper into a ball, and then, with a natural motion that looked like he was scratching at his lip, slipped it into his mouth and swallowed it. He was an expert at doing things while surveillance cameras were watching. Light turned back and looked. L was still staring out the window incredulously at Higuchi's corpse.
The next thing Light knew, L had grabbed the death note from him and was wildly paging through it, speed-reading all the entries. Light was smugly satisfied. L wouldn't find anything. Then, L looked as if he were thinking very hard, and a few seconds later a look of resignation settled over his face.
That's right. If I didn't write in the death note, I couldn't possibly be Kira. I've got you caught in a situation where you'll never be able to prove anything. Your love will make you weak, cause you to make decisions that lead to me being in the clear. And, if you have enough willpower to seek my conviction anyway, despite your love, I'll kill you long before you have a chance to build up enough evidence for a trial.
Then, L suddenly turned and gazed directly in Light's eyes with a very intense look. Light could not read the expression, but it turned him on and deeply scared him at the same time, sending chills through his body. Had L decided that since Light wasn't Kira he could now give himself wholeheartedly, without holding back?
L was suddenly climbing into Light's lap. Light had never seen him this aggressive before. L was positively prickling with something - anger or sexual energy, Light couldn't tell. Whatever it was, it was awe-inspiring. It was like a whole new L. Light was fully erect, almost painfully hard, and L's movements in his lap were fogging his brain with lust. Yet, as L straddled him, Light couldn't help but panic. He wanted this, so badly, but it really didn't seem like the right time at all, with Watari in the back of the helicopter and the rest of the team just outside and an emergency going on.
L grabbed Light's jaw with one hand, his touch sure and commanding and dominating. Then, he was reaching behind the seat with the other hand. Before Light could decide what L was doing back there, L was suddenly prying Light's jaws open and shoving fingers far back in Light'ss throat. Was this what turned L on? Light gagged, choked, and then the fingers thrust deeper, and Light was puking.
L expertly held a barf bag in front of Light's mouth and caught every drop. In the next moment, L was back in his seat, digging through the bag with his fingers. Light just then realized what L was doing, but it was too late. L was already holding up a little scrap of paper with "Higuchi" written on it in blood. The blood had spread out so it was partly illegible, but it was still possible to see what had been written there.
Into the microphone on his headset, L said, "Light killed Higuchi. We have the proof here on the helicopter cameras and we have physical evidence. Light is the original Kira."
Light felt Watari's hands on him, and his wrists were forced into handcuffs behind his back. Great! Now he had regular handcuffs in addition to the handcuff that attached him to a six-foot-long chain and thence to L. They really wanted to keep him from doing anything. Light looked at Rem. She seemed very angry. She must have heard he'd gotten caught. Would she kill for Misa? No, Rem could only do that when the number of threats were low enough that she could kill all of them before dying herself. Otherwise it was pointless.
Too many investigators now knew Light had been caught killing Higuchi. Rem would be forced to either do nothing or enter into some kind of negotiation for Misa, and she would have little enough negotiating power that she'd be lucky to get Misa alone free. She'd never be able to get Light free too, and she might not even want to since he'd managed to get himself caught. No, Rem would only be useful if Light could get the number of living investigators down to two or three first.
Light calculated. The death note was still close by. Watari had it. L probably thought Light was so extremely restrained he couldn't do anything. Well, he could bite his lip until it bled and write on the death note with his tongue if need be. If he could just kill all the investigators except L and Watari, Rem could take care of those two.
Light bit into his lip savagely, tasting the blood, and then using all the force in his legs, he launched himself over the seats into the back. Light twisted around, using his shoulder to knock the death note from Watari's grasp onto the floor and then kneeling down, opening it with his teeth. The next moment, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head and everything went black.
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