Alone In A Crowded Room

He was replaying the afternoon in his head. It was humiliating. He was taught that it was better to fail than to ask for help. At least he didn’t have to ask himself. Alfred just volunteered his brother. At first he was appalled. He thought that Alfred was offering his own help. Ivan could fail English all by himself.

He had to admit. The little one looked like a very cute Alfred. One that didn’t talk all that much. That was at least was appealing. But getting help from someone so much weaker than him. He didn’t really want to accept.

He didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter. If he wanted to stay on the team, than he had to. And he really wanted to stay on the team. He liked the feeling of crashing into other players. Being feared, having power, and being adored for it. And he loved the feeling of victory.

Ivan didn’t even notice the people around him jump when he slammed his locker shut. He also didn’t realize that he had almost broken his locker again.

Normally it would’ve enraged Ivan. It irritated him when the littlest action from him made people jump. Normally he would’ve ‘talked’ to the young boy who almost screamed.

Ivan wanted to be idolized. He wanted people to do what he said, to follow on his every word like they did with Alfred. That’s why he spent time with the talkative blonde. Why did people follow him? What was it about him that they loved so much?

It confused him. He used to think that it was because of his… Attractiveness. But little Alfred looked about the same. No one seemed to fawn over the little one the same way. That meant that it was a different reason. He just couldn’t understand. Sometimes he really hated Americans. Why couldn’t they be a little less confusing?

He gave a rather annoyed grunt as he made his way out to the practice field. He knew that his lips were twitching. This happened when he was trying to look happy. He noticed that it just made people more nervous. Ivan gave a wide almost maniacal smile as he charged towards his practice partner.

Ivan was upset. It had started to rain before he could get his frustration out of his system. He really wanted to practice just a little longer. The whole team was getting covered in rain and the couch said that it was time that they packed it in. He had no choice.

“Man, Ivan,” Alfred lifted his hand to rest on Ivan’s shoulder. Something most were too afraid to do, “I really respect that you wanted to keep practicing. Me too.”

Ivan noted that Alfred pouted after this. He didn’t acknowledge the other’s words. He wasn’t really in the mood. There was just something about Alfred’s little brother. Plus the code of conduct was kind of blurry for Ivan.

Ivan gathered up his stuff from the locker room. He didn’t feel like changing out of his uniform just yet.

“Well I should probably get home. You can come with me if you want. I know you needed Matty’s help, and it seems kind stupid to go separately. Besides you might not be able to find the house…. Well, it’d just be easier if we walked home together,” Alfred was nodded his head while he talked, “Oh!” He looked surprised, “It’s not like I have anything against walking home with you Ivan. I think you’re pretty good guy despite what I’ve heard,” Ivan twitched, “I dunno why they say things like that. I’m always like, ‘It’s just ‘cause you can’t understand him.’”

Ivan never really knew what to think when he heard Alfred ranting like this. Though he did feel more than slightly enraged when he thought about what those other people were saying about him. He knew that he was failing miserably at being adored, but he never had really thought about what others thought about him.

Though Ivan took a little comfort that the idiot Alfred was on his side. Alfred even reached up to touch his shoulder. It was an attempt to get Ivan’s attention, but it was a little comfort to Ivan anyway. Any contact was comforting when people were afraid to touch you.

“Ivan…? Do you want to walk home? I don’t really have a ride home. I normally walk home. Unless someone offers me a ride,” Alfred tilted his head, “Actually… Someone offers me a ride just about every day. Man. The girls in this school are really nice.”

“No, no. I have car,” Ivan explained. Alfred looked rather astonished. Ivan wasn’t sure why. All the girls that gave him a ride home everyday had to have cars, yes?

“Really? That’s so awesome!” Alfred was excitedly dancing around the locker room, attracting quite a bit of attention. You see Alfred had started changing, but had kind of stopped mid-conversation with Ivan. So now he was dancing around happily. In his boxers.

Ivan never really knew how to respond to Alfred. Well, at least he wouldn’t have to deal with Natalia as much today. And that was a little fact that seemed like a godsend to Ivan. Though when he didn’t come home like he was supposed to she might become infuriated. She always seemed to be angry when he was around though. He didn’t realize it was because when ever Natalia was around Ivan seemed to be running away.

Alfred finally realized that he was lacking pants and quickly wrestled on his jeans. Alfred tilted his head and stared up at Ivan, “Aren’t you going to change into your clothes?”

Ivan shook his head, “No. Not now,” Ivan was lucky enough that Alfred didn’t really care that much about getting his answers. Sometimes he lost his sight.

Alfred gasped excitedly like a small child, “Oh my god! What kind of car do you drive? No! No! I wanna guess! Or maybe I just want to be surprised when I see it…. I dunno… THIS IS SO AWESOME!” Everyone left in the school could no doubt hear Alfred’s exclamation.

Ivan was nearly embarrassed to walk out with Alfred. Though embarrassment wasn’t something that was very familiar to Ivan. Alfred was talked quickly and a lot of it was just going right over Ivan’s head. English was Ivan’s second language and he grudgingly admitted that he wasn’t very good at it.

When they got out to the parking lot Alfred was busy trying to figure out which car was Ivan’s. Ivan didn’t know why he didn’t why the rain didn’t seem to bother Alfred.

Whenever Ivan went to point it out, Alfred moaned about him ruining the game. Ivan wasn’t sure when it had turned into a game.

Soon enough Ivan got tired of playing and grabbed Alfred by the shoulder and dragged him in front of his car. Alfred gasped and pointed, “Is it this one?”

“Da. Is this one. Good job.” Ivan just wanted to get out of the rain he was soaked and he knew that this much water would be bad for his seats. And this was a brand new car.

“Man. I’ve never seen one of these before. What is it? Wow, it’s silver. That’s so cool,” Alfred stroked his car while still in the rain.

Ivan unlocked the doors and went into the car. Alfred pouted, “You didn’t answer me. Man, you’re mean. Oh! Comfy seats!” Ivan raised an eyebrow at Alfred’s wiggling in the seat.

“Is Citroen C5. Is brand new. Vas present from Father,” Ivan’s father gave gifts rather than attention. It was the main reason why their mother left. And why none of them have any idea as to where she could be. Their father gave her everything and she still left. Women were conniving and wicked. That’s what father said. That’s why he was the favorite.

“Oh! Cool!” Ivan felt his lips twitching as he watched Alfred groping all over his new car.

“Could give directions to your house, da?” Ivan managed to keep the sigh from his voice as he said this. He was itching to start up his car, with direction it was pointless.

The wheels in Alfred’s mind seemed to be turning. Ivan’s awkward phrasing had thrown him off, “Um, yeah. No problem Ivan.”

It seemed to take years to get to Alfred’s home. Alfred never gave the directions at a proper time, so he gave them quickly. Which drove down the chances of Ivan being able to understand him. The only one who seemed frustrated by this fact was Ivan.

When they finally got there, Ivan took the time to examine Alfred’s house. Maybe this would give some clues to why he was so beloved…?

It was a light power blue. It was almost white. The roof was a basic black and the house itself was two stories. A white picket fence surrounded the well sized yard. There was a rather odd garden gnome left to greet you by the bushes near the doorway. There was a green van in the driveway. The house seemed more like a home than his did. It was beautiful.

“You can park around back. That way you won’t have to park on the street,” Alfred explained. It seemed like he had been through that a million times.

Ivan did what he was told. He had never been to anyone else’s house, except with the exception of relatives and friends of his father. It all of a sudden seemed surreal.

Ivan felt weird. It was an unpleasant feeling that he hadn’t felt since he was a small child. Was he actually nervous? He realized that he didn’t know how to act in these situations.

He knew that he was walking a little slowly when he saw Alfred’s head poking out the back door waving him in. Ivan jogged up to get out of the rain.

He looked around. He noticed that he was in the kitchen. It looked a lot different than his own, but he also noted that it look a lot more used than his own. The tiles were white and the counter tops were marbled. The cabinets were wooden, the same color as the table in the center.

Ivan snapped out of his trance when he heard the loud ringing of Alfred’s cell phone. Alfred held the small gadget up to his ear, “Uh. No, don’t worry. I can do that. It’s no problem.”

Ivan had a bad feeling about this, “Ivan, I’ve got to go out real quick. This girl friend of mine’s having an issue. She sounded like she needed my help really bad. You can just wait in Matthew’s room if you want. I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it.”

Ivan nodded numbly and followed Alfred into a hallway. It was rather dark, but he could still tell that the carpet was white, and the wall was covered it family pictures. It was interesting to see what his classmate looked like through most of his childhood years.

Alfred pushed open a door, “This is Matthew’s room. Don’t move too much stuff around okay? It seems to upset him. He should be back pretty soon. I should be back sooner though.”

Ivan nodded his head numbly. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like a child in this moment. He walked into the room and kicked off his shoes. Alfred turned on the light before retreating into the hallway.

Little Alfred’s room looked kind of like a girls. There were some posters of people he didn’t know. There was also a desk with a computer resting peacefully on top. Beside was a stack of notebooks higher than the CPU.

Unlike the rest of the house the floors were hardwood. Ivan picked up the notebook on top and started reading. It was a journal of some kind.

‘Sometimes I really hate living here. When I was walking down the hallway earlier, Mom called me Alfred again. She just keeps doing that. Dad’s worse about it though.’

Ivan flipped to a different page, ‘I feel asleep during class today. No one noticed. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Even if I got scolded, I wish someone would notice just once.’

Ivan set the book down. He picked up the shirt on top of the dirty clothes hamper. It was a sports jersey of some sort, “Ottawa 67’s…” Ivan muttered to himself.

It seemed that even the younger sibling liked sports. He wasn’t sure what the jersey was from though. He threw it haphazardly back on top. He fell back onto the bed.

It didn’t smell the same as his back home. He rolled over to get more comfortable. It smelled much sweeter. Like strawberries and cream. That was certainly odd… Before he noticed he had drifted into a light slumber.


A/N: IVAN! Stop referring to Matthew as ‘Little Alfred.’! The car I had to hold a meeting about. It was what we all settled on. ‘Cause it was pretty sexy. Link to the car…..

http://www.automotorsport.se/bigpix/2007/Airscape_front_big.jpg

This update was demanded from me. My sis and friend were rather insistant.

Jeazard: They never do. I think that Alfred accidentally sucked the luck from Matthew when they were born. Here it is! <3

Miromantic: Hmmm… This wasn’t really very soon, but I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.

MyBloodWontClot: OMG. I realized that my last response didn’t show up on chapter 2. Gomen, gomen! I didn’t forget about you! I think that life couldn’t possibly be worse for him. Sadly enough. Thankies, thankies!