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Who\'s Afraid of Roderich Edelstein	By : CyreliaJ Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 1826 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or any of it's characters. I'm also not making any money off of this.

Chapter List
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Note: There is a big amount of Austria/Hungary and a smattering of Poland/Hungary. Also I wanted to give a huge shoutout to my beta going by doomy_slasher on lj and also the beta who picked up where she had to leave off Jazz. Both have been of huge help. I hope this doesn't disappoint as we roll into the main plot. I also made some edits to things I wasn’t happy with here. Enjoy!

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“Eadwacer”

Nigirishimeta tsumetai yubi kimi wa kanashiku warai

Boku wa kakeru kotoba mo naku keshiki wa nijimu

Hajimareba izure owaru kirei koto nado iranai

Semete kimi wo atatametai

Honno sukoshi no jikan wo ataete Kami sama

I squeezed your cold fingers and you sadly smile

And I can't find any words to say, and the scenery starts to blur

If it starts, it will someday end. There is no need for excuses

I, at least, want to keep you warm

God, please just give me a little more time

-Angela Separation

Vienna, Austria

Austria’s House

November 30th, Present Day

The snow crunches beneath his feet as the two of them walk side by side down the long snow covered driveway. Austria can feel the weight of the bags growing steadily more apparent with each step as he falls behind. She continues on steadfast without him as she always has. Hungary’s never forgotten the way. She’s never forgotten anything about him: forgiven but never forgotten, just like Prussia. Ah, but of course Prussia’s never forgiven him either. Austria stops and closes his eyes briefly to reorient himself. There are so many houses here now that never existed before. He’s always found that as soon as he’s memorized and mentally marked the landscape it changes. The world, like Hungary, always seems to be leaving him behind.

The old mobile phone in his pocket rings and he makes a pitiful attempt to answer it, nearly dropping everything in the process. He clicks his tongue in annoyance and Hungary sighs as if she’s done this a million times before.

“Here c’mon…” She turns around and comes back for him. Ignoring any protest- she wrestles the bags away with practiced ease- seeming to have a much easier time shouldering them than he was.

Austria looks away with a faint embarrassed huff as he fishes the old clunky mobile from his coat pocket fiddling with the buttons. Prussia still teases him about not having texting capabilities or a vibrate function as if somehow a phone should be able to operate for grander purposes than mere phone calls. They both know he’s hopeless with technology. He can hear Hungary grumbling about the nine hour train ride back from Hechingen as he answers it. Still, she had followed him without protest. He fiddles with his coat, brushing off some imaginary dirt while she waits.

“You always do seem to pick the most inconvenient times to call.” Austria looks annoyed, standing still, folding his arms to ward off the cold. He’s learned over the years it’s less distracting not to try to walk and talk.

“She’s there, isn’t she?” Prussia asks right away.

Austria sighs, looking up into the night sky. Of course she is. She’s the only one standing between us and damnation, isn’t she? That’s what you told me. For all I thought you’d never trust her with something so terrible.... But it’s better for her that she never hears any of it. She can’t betray what she doesn’t know and they can’t torture out what isn’t there.

The stars are beautiful tonight... they never change, do they? Once, some sixty years ago on a snowy night like this he and Prussia looked up into the sky over sixty years ago as the world was falling down around them. Austria said to him in that quiet bitter moment that every perfect star up there was already dead. Prussia said that suited them perfectly.

And when Hungary walks over to him, bags still in hand, and presses her forehead to the back of his neck when he bows his head back down, it’s all too easy to pretend when it’s only the two of them that nothing has changed. She never left him; he never betrayed her. She never betrayed him; he never gave into temptation and in some maddened moments he thinks that even that war would be better than this because his dreams have always been so much better than reality. His thumb circles over the worn plastic of the phone and he turns his head to the side, watching the wind blow the top layer of snow off into the night.

“Obviously. Sometimes you ask the most stupid...” he trails off and pulls away just as she pulls back and manages an apologetic smile. “If you want to go ahead to the house…” She has the key and she knows the way and it’s not like they expect her to watch him every second. Ah, but then again they still think she’s on their side don’t they? Isn’t she though? Isn’t she still waiting for us to slip up?

“I can wait.” Her voice sounds so easy and free as she speaks he can almost delude himself into believing she really is on his side. “What’s a few minutes after an all day trip, after all?” He nods and doesn’t falter once; he didn’t really expect her to go.

“Nice try little princess.” He swallows, eyes drifting downward. Even if she isn’t a concern that doesn’t mean they can drop their guard.

“Watch your language, pig.” Because I don’t know if she can hear you or not and it’s better to never say anything concrete because speculation is just that. And I don’t know if they’re listening.

“Don’t worry; the line’s safe. Kiku saw to that.” He’s thankful they still have a few loyal allies. Some of the tension slips from his shoulders and Hungary shifts to the other foot, stepping back to watch him, with a far more somber expression, where he can’t see as she speaks to him.

“Really, he can’t call you back?” Are you insane? Dammit, Roderich, I can’t keep protecting you. If you had any sense… if you ever had even half a woman’s sense you’d just... Hungary watches as he turns his back to her, fingering the silver cross around his neck with a pale and wan expression, clutching the phone as if Prussia’s the only thing he’s holding onto. You’re aren’t the only ones who lost the war, Roderich. Maybe one day you’ll even be able to see that. And maybe one day you’ll remember that you asked me to protect you before you ever turned to Gilbert...

“You’re leaving me, aren’t you?” She opened her eyes and blinked, staring at the billowing curtains adorning the open window. Head pillowed against Austria’s shoulder joint, Hungary’s fingers dug into the smooth skin of his chest.

“You say that like I actually came back to you in the first place.” His hand on her back moved, the long fingers unmarred by calluses lightly stroking the scarred skin. She tensed in spite of herself, like she never used to, and he sighed.

“You are here, are you not?” His speech was stiff, formal, and uncertain like it was seven hundred years ago at Kressenbrunn when she was still trying to figure out who the hell she was and he was as he’d always been, the elegant ice prince. Except that time he’d been a princess, not a prince.

“So are you.” Not here in the house- it was his after all,- but here with her when they had already ripped Prussia away from his brother and the younger was falling apart in his usual stoic silence. She felt his hand go still.

“Perhaps this is where I ought to be.” He spoke in that distant affectation he often retreated into and she didn’t dare look up to see where in the darkened room his eyes were focused. “Perhaps this is where I always should have been.”

Perhaps. If. Maybe. They were the musings of a man already resigned to atonement. Austria had a terrible habit of making the right decisions far too late to matter. Hungary almost felt like a ghost beneath his touch and wondered if he even truly believed half the words that he said. Austria was rather fond of perfunctory nonsense.

She didn’t answer him for a while; not because he was right but because she was wondering why she was even here. ‘You were the only one to save me, Felix. You were the only one who even realized I needed saving at all.’ She was here with the serpent when Poland was the one who’d thrown into the mouth of hell for her. Poland was- And then she felt his lips brush her hair and felt Austria’s fingers dance up to her shoulder in that way of his that made her shiver and for a moment she forgot about Poland. She found herself closing her eyes, for just that moment, because no matter how much of a pragmatic woman she’d always been to his flighty dreamer she couldn’t help but wish that this moment was all that existed between the two of them. ‘God, you’re hopeless, Liz.’

“I shouldn’t be here,” she answered at last, slipping from his grasp and sitting up on the warm, silky sheets of the large bed. “I should be with my people right now.” ‘I should be with Feliks right now.’ But now, just like always, she was with him. Hungary was with him in Klessheim where she’d brought her bosses to their betrayal and she was with him when Eichmann took her people away. She was still with him when they finally came for her. Hungary had been him for every miserable triumph and failure and she threw herself in front of him even in those last final hours.

Hungary knew he could see the scars on her back when the moon reappeared from behind the clouds; she heard the sharp intake of breath from behind. Self-consciously- like she hadn’t been since she was a teenager- she pulled her hair back from where it spilled over her shoulder and let it fall to where he couldn’t see the raised flesh anymore. Russia had all too happily run her through with a bayonet. Austria sat up, hands on her shoulders in that familiar gesture that used to give her comfort, and she closed her eyes when she felt his mouth trail over her neck softly.

“You know I love you, Liz,” he whispered against her cool skin. Austria didn’t apologize. He never did. He never asked for forgiveness or offered explanation for anything he’d ever done. ‘No… you looked right through me with Ludwig and Gilbert standing behind you when they… but you love me so dearly, don’t you, Roderich? I’m the most beautiful woman on earth in your eyes.’ He whispered those promises a thousand times just like a lover even though they both knew she never believed him. ‘And didn’t Prussia always say that every word he’d ever heard Roderich utter was a lie? You know better than that, Liz.’

Right... Prussia.

Hungary looked down at her breasts under her folded arms. ‘It should be Roderich I hate. But it isn’t. You’re the only one I could never forgive, Gilbert. It wasn’t Roderich who looked at me like my body was the most vile thing he’d ever seen. It wasn’t Roderich who told me I was worthless as a man or a woman.’ And it wasn’t Austria who’d rolled off her in the middle of trying to fuck her and vomited on the ground. ‘No, you couldn’t stand being with a real woman, could you, Gilbert? You had to have her.” It was that moment that she saw Austria’s other self dancing with Spain, looking at her as if she didn’t even exist that she came to realize her greatest love and her greatest rival were one in the same.

Hungary pulled away from him again, rising from the bed. Dammit she just couldn’t look at him right now without wanting to hit him thinking of all that shit she would’ve sworn she’d buried so deep god couldn’t find it. She hated being naked and vulnerable in front of him. Even now she hated that she never seemed to be as comfortable in her own skin as any of them ever since Prussia made her realize she was different than he and those differences drove them irreconcilably apart.

“Then tell me right now that if I give you a choice between them and me, from here ‘til forever that it’s me that you’d choose.” And she could tell even with that silence that he was thinking, calculating the best thing to say, whatever magic words of his would be both truth and lie. She wouldn’t let him.

“If you loved me so damn much Roderich,” she pressed on furiously, “then why... why did you give me to Gilbert when I was the only one still loyal to you!?”

Hungary remembered the plans drawn up that France had carved out at Nuremberg when the humans had left and it was only them. She hadn’t asked because she was too damn numb to care but she wasn’t shying away from it now when the firing squad that was Russia was waiting for her to come back to the winter prison and she had to figure out what the hell was waiting for her other than Poland. Hungary watched him wanting to scream. Even after they’d just made lo- fucked... even after they just fucked, Austria still kept the sheets carefully pulled up over his lap. ‘You’ll never give anyone all of you, will you? You could never bear to expose yourself to anyone. Making love to Antonio in the dark? With your eyes covered. But that’s how you’ve always been, Roderich.

She could see out of the corner of her eyes as she stood barefoot on the soft woven rug that he was struggling. Well the hell with him. Austria was speaking so quietly she had to turn and look at him, bridge that distance again, palms flat on the duvet, practically having to read his lips.

“... you always loved him the most.” And she slapped him. She put her entire shoulder into it, heard the satisfying crack, and watched his head rock to the side. And she stayed there, looking at him angrily, balefully, feeling more than hearing the blood pounding in her ears as she hissed out her words. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare talk about that like you know anything about it.” Because of all the people who never knew and never were supposed to know anything about that he was right at the top of that list.

‘I can’t do this any more.’ She was moving fast now, gathering her discarded clothes from the floor, just daring him to chastise her for not cleaning properly first. She didn’t see him bring one pale hand to his face and whisper softly that their bodies were the only thing their kind had to bargain with and what else did they have when they didn’t even have freedom over their own destinies?

“Don’t you dare act as if you know what’s best for me. You’ve never known a damn thing about me.” She had to get out of there before she drowned.

“You never told me what happened between the two of you.”

“I told you what you needed to know. It was a promise between men- something I expect you know little about.” It was a promise to never tell of the great Kingdom of Prussia’s inability to be intimate with a woman- at least not a real one. She wished she knew back then when she was young and uncertain that in spite of his words it was him and not her who was at fault and-

“Predictably emasculating- you two are more alike than you realize.” Austria carefully slid to the side of the bed and leaned over reaching for the discarded shirt, still keeping himself covered. She didn’t know why but dress half buttoned she stormed over and ripped that stupid sheet off even as she flung the shirt in his face. ‘That was low even for you, Roderich. I’m nothing like him. Nothing.’

“And what about you then? You’re just so damn proper, aren’t you? You and her. Is that why he fucked her and not you?”

She saw his fingers tighten around the shirt and her own fists were balled at her sides as if she was ready for a fight: a fight like they hadn’t had in over forty years. ‘You know you want to hit me Roderich. You never will but it’s not the first time I’ve seen your control slip and right now so help me I’ll let you have it like the last time. I can’t do this anymore. I don’t care how much you deny it you know that it’s always been the two of you longer than you’ve been lying to me. It’s not just her he’s been fixated on. It’s been you and his brother and I’ll never know how I was so damn blind. But I thought when they put the lot of you on trial at Nuremberg and made the consequences clear when they made you sign that treaty that all of us could move on.’

Austria was still silent and the trembling, the rise and fall of his shoulders fighting back every bit of rage she’d always seen him keep so tightly in check was clear- as was the expression of near agony. And that was when she realized that no matter what happened she was a fool who could never truly turn her back on him. They’d given her and Prussia to Russia. They separated both Germany and Prussia and broke every bit of their covenant into a thousand pieces of glass but... Her fingers fell absently to the envelope she’d sewn in to the sleeve of the hidden pocket of her skirt. Hungary wondered why he would entrust her with such a thing knowing that she had to report to the rest of them now. It was a test then. She’d read it herself too, masochist that she was. “Doubt truth to be a liar.”

“I thought we both agreed a long time ago that we weren’t going to mention that woman.” Austria answered in a strained voice and she wondered what he could possibly be thinking now.

Her smile was humorless as she finished buttoning the green fabric closed. “That’s funny, she said the same thing about you.”

Unaware of her thoughts, Austria is about to answer her when Prussia blurts out on the other end of the phone, “America’s coming.” The silence from Austria’s end is nearly tangible. He answers easily even as his heart feels about to pound out of his chest. This is a far more dangerous game, after all, than they’ve ever played before and as much as she hated him for it, he knows that Hungary will listen and deduce because she’s always been too clever to let things lie, just like back then.

“That’s absurd! A red white and green cake? Only America would come up with such a ridiculous notion. I can’t believe Ludwig would ever agree to bake such a monstrosity!” Her posture relaxes and once again he wonders if it’s relief that he’s still so careful or relief that she can let up on watch him. Even if she knows- even if she doesn’t believe him at least now she can pretend. He’s slipped up before and she’s always looked the other way and chastised him when they were alone and covered for him. He’s hated that she’d even had to. He’s hated that, even so he can’t bring himself to trust her- but he can’t. They’ve been waiting for him to slip up ever since the war ended.

Gathered around the small table in the conference room, the six nations met in secret to guarantee in history the document signed by their representatives. The parchment on the table looked no different to human eyes, but to those surrounding it, the faint golden glow of the words was evident. Austria looked it over carefully knowing that every eye in the room was on him. He knew this day was coming, they simply wished to deal with Germany and Prussia first. When Russia claimed “East Germany”, Austria had felt the urge to use that damn gun Prussia had given him for a second time. As he looked at each of them in succession he wondered if he could shoot them all before they stopped him.

“This forbids...” he almost choked as he read the words. Forbid unification with Germany: ensured there would never be another Anschluss. Christ, Figl would have no idea what this truly meant to they who were nations; Austria would sooner die than tell him. They were probably counting on that.

“It shouldn’t be a problem should it?” Russia questioned sunnily and Austria snapped his attention up at him.

‘You’re loving this aren’t you, you sadistic little demon? You can’t have what you want so you have to destroy everyone else who does. You have Gilbert and Elizaveta both now and it still isn’t enough for you.’

But Austria merely licked his lips and forced his hand to stop shaking. “It’s merely a formality, Roderich,” England had chimed in seemingly oblivious to what the rest of them had already guessed: the true nature of his relationship with his cousin.

“After all, you’d never actually bed either of them, would you monsieur aristocrat? Your own blood relations?” France wore no such blinders. But then again France’s little “Madeline” had transmitted far more than she should have before they killed her. France never did forgive them for that one. France never gave them for a lot of things but it was France who tried to destroy the young Germany and it was France who would have seen Bavaria break them all apart after the last war. “You know that such a forbidden act would mean-”

“Only you’d ever accuse someone of such disgusting perversions you filthy minded frog!” Austria could’ve kissed him for the diversion as France responded with predictable hostility and the real reason the hateful thing was even being signed was forgotten as America jumped in on England’s side and Russia on France’s. Austria felt the room spin as they argued and thought he might be dying.

France and Russia- they knew. Oh god they knew. Or if they didn’t know they suspected and perhaps that was even worse. But there was no helping it now and he could go back to his room and be sick when it was over.

“Of course I’ll sign it,” he answered with a perfectly affected offense. “Really, I was shocked that you would even imply such an indiscretion on my part.”

He caught France’s eyes then. ‘You were sleeping with her, weren’t you? You never answered me that day we caught you but I know you were always far too close to those humans.’

Christ how reckless the three of them had been. Acting as if they’d already won and were above the laws laid down by God himself. Austria swallowed the bile in his throat, the practiced air of nobility swirling around him. He reread the document shrewdly and then drew his finger across the page watching as another term in flowery language appeared with that lick of flame from his hand. He pressed his palm to seal it, the red and white glow of the Austrian flag standing out proudly.

Russia was the first to read the declaration of everlasting neutrality and laughed with childish amusement. Austria observed that curiously but chose not to comment.

“Ah, how delightful. My boss had wanted me to request this anyway but it seems our minds are one in this matter.”

France narrowed his eyes across the table as if to ask what game he was playing. Austria met him with a beatific smile: the one that made the entire room sparkle around him. Switzerland would be so proud.

‘Just the lot of you wait. Peace doesn’t last forever and when it inevitably fails and the hounds of hell are running through your streets baying for your blood I’ll stand there and fiddle like Nero while your cities burn to the ground.’

He watched them signing it, all of them aware on some level that on a battlefield their people and their bosses would never see, a gauntlet had been thrown down.

“Hey, the kid’s still young right?” Prussia’s voice anchors him and holds him fast to the present. “It’s nothing but daring plots and happy endings for the hero and all that Hollywood bullshit.”

“Hmm...” his answer was that noncommittal sound which could mean anything from “building that Ninja Warrior replica in the yard was one of the stupidest things you’ve ever done” to “Why yes, I’d love another cookie, thank you.”

Prussia’s responding “ttch” was equally ambiguous. Both of them could read the habitual vociferations with an ease that used to make Hungary jealous. She merely sighs and silently wishes that it was safe for him to trust her. She hasn’t hated him in a long time now but Austria has never seemed to understand that there are deeper human emotions than just love and hate.

“I’m just giving you a heads up so you don’t have a coronary when your little “lover boy” doesn’t arrive alone for Christmas.” Austria frowns. No. Matthew’s far too cautious too assume such risks. He wouldn’t dare it no matter how jealous that idiot brother of his is, no matter what new game the two of them are playing.

“Be that as it may I’m sure my stomach won’t be able to handle it. I doubt even Matthew could stand such a disgusting confection either.” Tell me, God tell me this is all Alfred’s ridiculous-

“Heh, you know how it is with those two.” He knew all too well unfortunately. “At least we’ll all die happy, right?” No. No, they won’t die. They won’t be found out and they won’t be forced to choose between... If he has to... if he has destroy the damn world... if he has to feed the two golden twins to the wolves in his stead he won’t-.

“While I’d love to hear more about this ridiculous dessert, it is rather cold out here and I’d like to go inside. Perhaps you might reign in some of your lover’s asinine ideas?” Prussia will talk some sense into him. Prussia will talk some sense into him because America’s in the same damn boat. If he thinks that the lot of them won’t treat him like Loki daring to insult the other gods just because he’s the world’s super power he’s delusional.

“Like it’s any warmer in your house, Scrooge.” It would be if the two of you were here... And he barely resists the urge to shake his head at such romantic nonsense knowing that Prussia would laugh and Germany would just blush and stammer some unintelligible nonsense in response and Prussia is neatly avoiding talking about it further.

“I’m hanging up now.” His tone is tart and he doesn’t leave any time for the other to answer before he closes the phone and stuffs it into his pocket. He says nothing more and tries to at least divide the bags up between the two of them. Hungary’s hand brushes his lightly and she looks at him, the moon’s pale light shadowing her face and she leans in, her lips cold as they brush his cheek.

“It’s not twilight yet,” she says with a warm ghost of breath before turning vibrantly around. “C’mon. I’ll race you.”

Austria trips over the foyer step out of breath when they finally reach the house, a step behind her, and with an ease borne of years of practice, Hungary turns and catches him before he hits the ground. They share a small, sad smile before pulling apart. The ceramics are safe for now. The cost of the tickets and the gifts always give his stomach a vaguely unsettled feeling, but the thought of Hohenzollern Castle folding is far worse. The living room, immaculate and full of furniture no one ever sits on, is lit up with lights and expensive decorations collected from years prior. Above the fireplace still hangs a painted portrait of them in their wedding attire. She, the beautiful maiden dressed in white trimmed with red and gold and he the handsome aristocrat in his pristine officer’s uniform. He stands looking boldly out ahead- they wouldn’t let him wear his glasses- and in the classical pose of the time she kneels at his feet, one arm raised to hold his waist and he supposes it’s in rather poor taste to leave it up, but the twin portrait secreted away is hardly better.

“Like, seriously?” Poland had commented last winter when he was taking stock of everything in the living room. “You guys haven’t been married in almost a hundred years. I could give you a fantastic Czachórski if you’re that hard up for something to hang there. Who still keeps their wedding picture like above the fireplace like that? If I were Canada, you would so be sleeping on the couch. And like, talk about tacky, you know that pose went out like a hundred years ago.”

Austria had wondered when he’d become close enough to the other nation that he felt free to speak so offensively but Austria was a master of the little polite political game and even the warning look from Hungary didn’t hold his tongue. Germany in all his fury couldn’t constrain him and even in the face of the trials he held his own against any of them.

Austria merely smiled at Hungary who was regarding him with a frown. He smiled at her as if she were the only one in the room and took her hand with an exaggerated flourish. With a bow, he kissed the top, feeling her tense, knowing that she was a step from slapping him- knowing that he’d deserve it.

“Sometimes, I like being reminded of holding a beautiful woman in my arms.” Poland had laughed like it was the funniest damn thing in the world, but Austria could see as he discreetly looked over the rims of his spectacles that the other nation’s eyes were dark. He wondered if Poland was going to threaten him the way he did Russia, but no, Poland just crossed his arms and continued to look at the portrait as if there was just something terribly interesting about it.

“Haha, yeah y’know like looking at it I can see it totally suits you guys perfectly.”

The two of them continue on to the far less ostentatious den where he entertains the few people he doesn’t feel the need to put on airs for. The worn red carpet is comfortable beneath his feet and Austria pretends not to notice when Hungary turns the thermostat up. The gesture is so normal and familiar it hurts. He’s never scolded her the way he does Prussia, but somehow the interaction is less intimate because of that.

“I’m freezing my fucking sac off in here, damn it, would it kill you to turn the heat up?” Austria looked up from his place on the adjacent loveseat, The House of the Dead sitting open in his lap.

“You’re a man, aren’t you? You should be able to stand a little cold in this economy.” He looked at Germany, seated on Prussia’s left with several reports stacked in his lap. He ignored the protest that his economy was hardly affected. “I’m sure Ludwig is warm enough for the both of you.” The nation in question steadfastly ignored them, head bent over the small script of Bavaria’s handwriting. He muttered to himself about the old man refusing to use so much as a typewriter. Prussia glanced over his shoulder and with a red pen scribbled a serious note in the margin before turning back to Austria.

“C’mon, I got two sides here. Keep me warm, asshole,” he whined. With a put upon expression tempered only by the unconscious softness in his eyes, Austria sat down beside him with his book, head resting on his shoulder for just a quick moment. “Don’t I always?”

He sets the packages down near the space reserved for the large Christmas tree, letting them join the other extravagant gifts. A faint smile crosses his face in the dark where Hungary can’t see it.

“Here, let me show you two little girls how a real man does it.” Prussia had claimed the chainsaw as soon as they’d gotten out of the rented vehicle.

Canada stayed back, ironically enough, as he was the one best suited for the task. He seemed to have an odd aversion to the chainsaw and had pleaded the case for an old fashioned two-man saw. But seeing the chance to rent something loud and powerful, Prussia would hardly be dissuaded.

“Be careful with that you savage! It’s not a toy.” Canada looked uneasy as he approached, his hands still stuffed warmly in his pockets.

“Ah… Gilbert, have you ever done this befo-“

“No, he hasn’t. Give Matthew the chainsaw before you hurt yourself you idiot.” Prussia grinned in front of the tree holding the power tool up in a dramatic pose and Austria almost wished he’d brought a camera.

“Aww, specs, I knew you cared…”

“Is Gilbert bringing the cider again?” He hears her ask as she sets down the bags she was carrying.

He opens the long buffet filled with wrapping paper and frowns when he doesn’t see the ribbons or bows.

“Ludwig is,” he answers somewhat stiffly. He doesn’t trust whatever vitriolic concoction Prussia would supply a second time. He has no control over anything he does or says while inebriated and in front of witnesses it’s too dangerous.

“Cmon, specs,” he’d taunted when they had their own private celebration last year on December 6th. “Old Fritz and I used to knock back a bottle of this home brew every year. It’s tame as mother’s milk.”

Clearly Prussia’s mother had been a woman of far greater mettle than his own.

“That’s a shame,” she answers looking over her shoulder with a playful smile. “I wouldn’t mind adding a few things to the album when Matthew visits.” It goes unsaid that he’d better make this the best damn performance of his life. Where Canada goes, France follows and it makes Austria wonder if the stakes haven’t become more personal than he ever imagined. Let the lot of the snakes come for him. Let Germany bring North Italy. Let Germany and Prussia fawn all over the interfering little. Don’t let the smile leave your face and stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about want to shoot him with that damn gun Prussia had given you when you saw the two of them together. But no. No, violence wasn’t and wouldn’t be necessary because Germany had assured him a long time ago that neither Italy would ever lay with a man.

Notes:

The song Russia sings is an old lullaby that translates as:
Baby, baby, rock-a-bye
On the edge you mustn't lie
Or the little grey wolf will come
And will nip you on the tum,
Tug you off into the wood
Underneath the willow-root.
The Bayerischer Hof is a luxury hotel in Munich. In 1924 it was the largest hotel in Europe.
Eichmann refers to Adolph Eichmann, a prominent Nazi SS lieutenant colonel who was responsible for (among many other things) the deportation and extermination of Hungary’s jewish population. His trial in 1962 cemented the concept of the “desk murderer”.
Dostoevksy was a famous Russian author more known for “Crime and Punishment” and “The Brothers Karamazov” than the book in question. “The House of the Dead” is about a man sentenced to serve ten years hard labor in Siberia and describes a great spiritual reawakening.
“Ten years ago” refers to the period in Russian History when Stalin was still alive and ruling the then Soviet Union.
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Who\'s Afraid of Roderich Edelstein