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You Don\'t Meet Nice Girls in Coffee Shops	By : megadeth425 Category: Pokemon > General Views: 3465 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon and make no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
"I wanted to indulge as well, dear."

The words echoed in my mind a little as I felt hands, smooth as velvet, along my hips. Grimsley lay on the bed, clothed, straddling his girlfriend. All of their weight pressed down on me as my head began to spin. Most people would find a friend beneath their lover and be mad. Grimsley was merely upset that we hadn't waited for him. Sometimes he didn't even seem to act like a normal person; not that Shauntal was any better with her head in the clouds and her nose buried in a notebook. Gosh, why did my circle of friends need to consist of such head cases?

"Do you remember," he continued to purr in his smooth velvet voice, deep and rich, coming off with just the traces of an accent I never could place, "What I asked of you the last time you started without me?" I winced as his hands worked their way further up my shirt, and I wanted to call for an adult. Of course I remembered that night, no matter how intoxicated we were. We went through so much of her 'liquid inspiration' that night that it's a wonder we could even muster up the ability to fuck. It probably wasn't even all too good, but hell if it didn't feel like the best night of my life when it happened. "I would like that again, please. It's regrettable that Marley and I took too long with our practice battle, but you should learn some restraint, dear."

Shauntal cooed into my ear, and I was sure there was something I could see that he was doing to her to elicit that sound. After she trembled against me, their combined weight was lifted off and we all shuffled into the position he wanted us to be in, one we knew well. Grimsley lay on the edge of the bed, slowly working his pants off as he watched us with a smile. Half-clothed, with what we were wearing disheveled and pushed or opened to reveal what it should have hid. My pants were gone and my shirt was open, and my glasses were crooked on my face. Grimsley's voice alone had roused my penis from its post-orgasm lull. Beside me, Shauntal's hair was mussed, glasses slipping down her nose, dress hiked up at the bottom and pulled down at the top, pantyhose torn with a visible hole that revealed her snatch and some of the neat purple hairs above it. Yes, Shauntal's carpet matched her drapes.

Grimsley's pants slid down his waist and his legs, thumbs hooked into the waistband of his underwear and letting them follow. Just the sight of it rigid made my back curl forward a little and my tongue drag along my lips where the taste of Shauntal's juices still lingered. N was certainly no disappointment in that area, but Grimsley was positively gifted, blessed by Arceus with the ability to, with only the sight of it, make every decision I ever made about experimentation seem right. There was something magical about it that made me deeply envious of Shauntal and the fact it was hers to enjoy whenever she wanted.

My legs grew weak a little as they clenched together, and I felt gentle hands on my shoulders. "I've never been one to say no to you," Shauntal said in a voice so completely raw that I almost forgot it was her. "And I don't think Cheren's ever been known to say 'no' to anybody."

The proper response would be to act indignant, make a couple snide remarks, and turn my head to Grimsley's offering. Had it been any context other than sex, I would have, too. Instead, I made a sound that apparently pleased Shauntal greatly, because she made a happy little squeal and shoved me forward. I would have complained had two inches of Grimsley not suddenly been keeping my mouth from doing much speaking. In that instant, all defiance melted away, and Shauntal's hands on my shoulders began to do something like a massage that wasn't very skilled or focused. He made a pleased sound as my hand reached forward and began to stroke his base. A bit further down, my head slipped, before coming back up and letting my tongue work over his tip as I looked up at him through glasses hardly on my face.

Shauntal was a dear, though, and slid them up my nose for me as she leaned in real close with her mouth and kissed the side of his shaft. The massage was over, and her other hand was on the back of my head, trying to push me down a little. "He's a bit too good at this, isn't he?" she asked, getting even closer into things. Her leg locked into mine and she was up against my side, drawing ragged breaths right against my ear. “Not that I'm complaining.” The hand not on my head was now in my lap, fingers wrapping around my aching cock and beginning to pump so slowly that it did nothing for me and was all part of the tease. “It's fun to watch you work. So inspiring. And Grimsley enjoys his part in it, too. Don't you, love?”

“Very much,” he said with far too much self-control and composure. I mean, I was there, trying to suck him off, and he was acting as though I was sitting across from him having coffee. “But, you were just as guilty of starting without me as he was, so don't think you're getting off free. Besides,” he laughed there, letting the word hang as a bit of pre hit my tongue and I was worried as to the rest of the sentence, “It's always more enjoyable when it becomes a competition.”

Her hand left my crotch and seized his, much to my dismay, as she stole his cock from me and began to work it over herself. I could only sit there and watch him go, her eyes torn between looking up at him like prey and looking at me as if to say, “You're not going to beat me”. Up and down her head bobbed, flesh disappearing between her lips as she performed masterfully for him. With the snarky voice in my head silenced and my mouth free, I did the only reasonable thing and leaned in to lick at what she didn't. We each had a hand on his lap at that point, and there was little competitive scowling as we looked up at him together. It left her mouth and we shared it, kissing and licking and sucking in tandem, awaiting his response or approval or dismay. Anything.

He gave us nothing, so I went in deep. My lips slid down his shaft quickly as it pressed onward, deeper than either of us had hit yet, as I could tell by where the consistent ring of saliva ended. That was my benchmark, and oh hell I had no gag reflex. Of all the times to find out, it was while giving a blow job There was some self-deprecating joke in there somewhere, but my head grew even lighter as I pushed onward and breathing kind of escaped me. Shauntal egged me on, whispering into my ear things I didn't even understand anymore. Finally, my lips came to touch his pelvis, and I came back up starved for air. A bit too much saliva came out of my mouth, many long strands connecting my mouth to his shaft that broke under the force of gravity, as I took deep breaths and looked up at him hoping for something.

“Not bad,” he said, his voice growing a bit gravely-er. “But I'm afraid Shauntal has beaten you to it by almost a year.”

As if to show off, the purple haired writer sank her head down and set out to show me up. And she did. Oh hell, she did. I didn't even want to compete, given the circumstances, and noticed her exposed breasts just waiting for the attention. My head leaned in and my mouth seized one of the perky nipples, the hand not on Grimsley's thigh cupping her pelvis and feeling just how wet she'd grown. Her body grew a bit tenser as I did so, and that earned an appreciatory murmur from Grimsley. Something about 'at least giving him a show'. Like I was there for his fucking amusement. I ignored him, focusing on Shauntal and how she started to fidget a little. My tongue worked slow circles around her nipple as the fingers pumped into her in time with the bobbing of her head.

As Shauntal drew away for air, I pulled away from her and returned to Grimsley's lap. There was a strong taste of Shauntal's mouth on it, though not as strong as the next few drops of pre to touch my tongue. My angle wasn't to compete with Shauntal, merely to satisfy Grimsley so that I wouldn't have to be on my knees for him all night. Out the corner of my eye, Shauntal seemed ready to go again, so I pulled my head up and leaned his shaft towards Shauntal a little. The writer and I shared a sloppy kiss with his cock between our lips, working together to get him off. His approval came in the form of a pleased sound as his hands found their way to our heads and started to guide us.

Being with Shauntal and Grimsley was different than being with some combination of White, Bianca, and N--and I'd laid with all possible combinations there. Maybe it was because neither were a childhood friend, or because they were adults and I always seemed more comfortable around them. It could have just been that I knew those three well enough to see how their personalities came through in sex, like White's need for attention and affection. Maybe it was how foreign it all seemed, so unlike the environment I'd grown up in and was used to. Or, it was just because I liked how hard Grimsley topped me. They all seemed valid, and probably at least partly right.

Our hands overlapped on his base, mine atop hers and guiding it so that we stroked him in tandem. We took turns with it, taking his penis into our hot mouths for a few seconds, then passing it to the other. We worked up a good rhythm with it, settling into our motions and doing them well. He looked down at us, glasses a little ways down our noses and eyes turned upward to meet his intense gaze. There was a touch of emotion in his face that he tried to hide, but I knew it was there. He was enjoying himself, and if we kept it up he'd start to lose his composure and his stoic expression, and start showing us that we were making him feel good.

He gently motioned for us to back away, and as though some heavy wind had drove us back, we both pulled away from him reluctantly. Well, Shauntal did. I found my wrist seized by his hand, and I stopped in my tracks just as quickly as I'd begun to move. It wasn't a particularly strong grip, but his presence in a room brought with it a strange air that made even the lightest amount of force seem great. My head back to look at him as, slowly, he began to pull me back toward him. "Shauntal has already had her way with you," he purred, "And now I believe I'm due some as well." By that point, he was sitting upright on the edge of the bed, and I found myself gravitating toward his lap. When I was close enough, his other hand came to my thigh and helped ease me down. Still watching Shauntal and her jealous gaze, I was seated on his erection, incredibly slick and beginning to push into my ass.

I saw his hand move outward toward Shauntal and his outstretched fingers draw back into his palm so fluidly it was almost inhuman. It was Shauntal's turn to rejoin the scene, which she did gladly. Her body dropped down a little, not quite so that she was kneeling, but low enough for her head to be level with mine as she went in for a long, heavy kiss. There was the stark taste of Grimsley in both our mouths. As he sank deeper into my ass and her hand found its way into my lap, I ran my own hand through her messy purple hair and threw everything I had into the kiss. Her slow hand job just made me melt back against Grimsley, easing me into everything slowly. When the two of them worked together on somebody, they were unbeatable.

Her lips dragged to my ear, whispering, "You look so vulnerable right now."

"All mine, 'champion." Grimsley was in my other ear, which would have made me jump and shout had I not become putty in their combined hands. His grip on my thighs directed me, and I began to move up and down at his command.

"So strong, except when someone comes along to ravish you."

"Then, where does it go?"

My head grew light and the words that followed all sort of melded together. I could make out a few, like 'plaything' and 'inspiration', but for the most part they were just lost in the sensory deluge of it all. It only came back into reality when again the ghost trainer slipped into her usual bedroom fare.

“'The look on the boy's face was one of surprise and surrender as he gave himself utterly to the two adults. Like prey wandering into a strange land, he'd been seized by the two and now lay bared, exposed to whatever twisted pleasures they wished to teach him.'”

“You're doing it again, love.” It bothered me how casually Grimsley spoke with his dick slowly sinking into my ass. He may as well have been sitting at home sipping wine from an expensive crystal glass for how collected he seemed.

Her head shook a little, and she mouthed an apology.

“Why don't you help our friend out a little? He must be so tormented right now.”

With a nod, Shauntal planted a flurry of light kisses down my body as she feel to her knees in front of us and began to lick at my aching tip. Her tongue moved in agonizingly slow motions around my tip, keeping pace with her hand. Her brown eyes looked right up at devilishly, and I knew she was laughing on the inside. My legs fidgeted around as Grimsley kept me on the same slow pace as his lover. It was no longer Grimsley exerting his will upon the two of us for his pleasure, but rather a couple toying with the boy who had wandered into their bedroom. It was a game and I was their plaything, left to wriggle around and get fucked for their amusement.

It spoke horrible volumes about me that the realization was helping me get off a little bit.

The slowness drove me truly mad. I was so used to the frenzied sex of energetic White or animalistic N that it was like everything was slowing down save for my perception. I was trapped in a world I was too fast for, and my body was so hungry for more that it screamed out at me angrily. It didn't accept that I was powerless, that even though I could beat defeat him in a Pokemon battle, trying to contend with Grimsley's will was impossible for me. I could hardly contend with Bianca's will.

Damn it, why was her mouth so warm? Why was Grimsley so big that even at the snail's pace he moved, my lower lip curled inward toward my teeth subconsciously? They kept me on the verge, falling just short of any significant pleasure, while giving me enough for it to be extra torturous. After deepthroating Grimsley I knew that Shauntal would have no problems handling mine, but she acted like a worried, nervous beginner just because it meant she'd move slower.

"Please," I whimpered, giving in at last. My body finally won over my pride, and if they wanted to see me squirm, they'd get it. "If I wanted tepid, unsatisfactory sex, I'd stay in and my hotel room and watch some softcore pay-per-view porn." I spoke a different language than most people, and they knew that for me, the comment was the equivalent of, “I can't take this anymore, oh please fuck me, I'll do anything”. They deemed it satisfactory, I guess, as Grimsley eased me further down his cock and Shauntal's tightly shut lips slid down my shaft. Within seconds, I was approaching something that could be called actual pleasure, and I leaned back into Grimsley and sighed.

Shauntal grabbed her exposed breasts and put them into my lap, letting her mouth take a break as her cleavage found its way around my cock. I looked down, surprised, and saw her looking back up at me, beginning to heave her tits. On each downward motion, my tip poked out from between them, and had our gaze not been locked together, I hoped she would have given it some tongue. Of course, I couldn't find out, because I was far too entranced by staring down at her, eyes gleaming up at me from beneath her rimless glasses, and watching her pleasure me.

Under his guidance, more of Grimsley sank into my ass with each motion. He pushed deeper, and the pleasure grew louder. My head leaned back onto his shoulders, and as the pace quickened I could feel Shauntal's own motions slow, letting the natural up-and-down of my body do its work and thrust upward between her breasts. Satisfaction at last. The string of complaints ceased and it shut up, basking in what the couple granted me. My most base of hungers had been slated, and so long as they were so dominant, I only had to lean back against the vampire wannabe and let things run their course.

Right?

As soon as I thought that, having begun to enjoy the titfuck and Grimsley fucking me, it stopped. Shauntal's soft, pillowy boobs left my lap, and Grimsley's hands grabbed me in a way that was definitely not for mere guidance. Excitedly, the purple-haired trainer went around us and got onto the bed, and I was pulled off of Grimsley and shoved onto it face-first. When I landed, I found myself only a third of a foot away from Shauntal, sitting against the headboard with her legs up and parted, revealing the torn pantyhose and her sopping wet slit. I tried to push myself up, only to feel Grimsley grab my hips again and press his tip against my ass, something that felt too right for me to be comfortable with.

I sighed, knowing exactly what was going on, and didn't even try to fight in. I scooted over a little so that I was better poised, and my head disappeared between her legs. Unceremoniously, Grimsley buried into me as much as much cock as we'd reached earlier, and picked up from where we left off with renewed vigor With his hips doing all the work, the thrusts became harder and stronger, my body beginning to rock slightly, fucking me right into Shauntal's pussy. My tongue worked over her sore clit as my fingers began to slip back into her wet entrance. She moved slowly, hands running out so that one grabbed my needs-a-haircut long hair and guided me, while the other toyed with her nipple.

“You're so good at this,” she moaned, upper body rising as her head pushed back against the headboard of the bed. “Oh, I wish I could take you home with me and use you whenever Grimsley is busy.”

“Maybe we should take him home,” Grimsley mused in that same nonchalant tone he kept using. “Take him on as an apprentice. His company is certainly worth it, if nothing else.”

“Mm, that sounds like a wonderful idea. Our bed is always welcome to you if you ever want it, Cheren, we have room for a third.”

So wrapped up in the moment, some instant knee-jerk reaction in me wanted to take up their offer then and there, to go home and end up in a three-way relationship with two people whom I'd certainly have no problem being with if I thought relationships were worth anything to me. I didn't though, if only because no life decisions should ever be made when you're the middle link in a threesome. Also, because my tongue was beginning to probe Shauntal's pussy and I really didn't feel like coming up to speak. I was too busy tasting her and the vague traces of me that still remained. I had almost forgotten I'd came earlier, it seeming so long ago. My body was aching so much it may as well have been months since my last release.

They seemed to drop the issue there and get back to matters at hand. The dark trainer's fingers pressed harder into my hips as he fucked me harder, and Shauntal began to push my face into her crotch and buck against my mouth. Everything was loud and rough and felt nothing like home and everything like bliss. My glasses were hardly on my face and I couldn't adjust them because nothing in the world wanted me to let go of her with either hand. My knees pressed into the bed and if I kept going, no matter how soft the sheets were, the friction was going to start getting to me. Again my penis began to ache and neither partner paid it any attention, too wrapped up in their own doings to care about it, using me for their pleasure and nothing more.

All he head to do was reach over a little. But no, he remained stern and on his knees, thrusting into the younger boy in front of him and just enjoying the torment he brought. Shauntal could let one of those long, pantyhose-clad legs down and snake it under my body, and that would have done something. Hell, if I was flat against the mattress I could probably just rub against it a few times and cum. But no, of course that wouldn't fly with them. They knew damn well what they were doing, and enjoyed it almost as well as I did.

“F-fuck!” I scowled into Shauntal's thigh, looking back at Grimsley a moment as he finally reached the hilt. All of his cock was in me now, and my body was aflame with delight, my cheeks were flush, and my hair was mussed. By contrast, he just gave me the slightest of smiles. Cocky asshole. He even stopped when he did so and noticed I was looking at him.

“You look so delicious when you're flustered,” he said, finally giving me an expression. A smile. A bit, gloating smile. “I think we know who's won the battle of wills here, all hot and bothered with me throbbing in your ass.”

“Shut up and fuck me,” I groaned, trying my best at petty vengeance by sucking on his girlfriend's clit. It didn't do very much, as that was exactly what he wanted me to do, but I didn't have very much else to work with. All it did was make Shauntal coo a little as I pumped three fingers into her dripping snatch. My eyes looked up to see a big, wide smile on her face as she moaned, fingers working over a nipple as she looked down at me. It killed how right it all felt, how a twitch hit my penis and I damn near felt that I could get off on Grimsley's pounding alone.

Thankfully, I wouldn't have to. His thrusts suddenly stopped and Shauntal pulled my head from between her legs. I cursed Grimsley, and how he could seemingly communicate with his eyes, and how Shauntal knew exactly what he meant. It left me incredibly uncertain every time so much as an arm was out of place.

The writer grabbed my face and pulled me up into a long kiss, her tongue slipping into my mouth and moving so hungrily that I was certain she was only looking to enjoy her own taste. My eyes shut tightly as I enjoyed the reprieve; as much as I wanted to be violated, it did take a lot out of me, and the kiss provided a short break. When I opened them again, I found Shauntal had wriggled her way beneath me and our kiss had angled downward when I wasn't looking. As we broke away, my lower lip curled in and my teeth pressed against it lightly. I knew what was coming, and I could even feel her reaching down to adjust my penis and position it to her entrance.

My tip rubbed against her wet labia, more torturous almost-pleasure, before finally the first quarter of an inch pushed through into her pussy. No sooner had she done that than Grimsley pushed forward, his cock to the hilt in me and his body coming down hard against mine. It pushed me forward and I buried myself balls-deep into Shauntal, who moaned into my ear. My eyes shut tightly; the feeling of her tight passage clenching my dick being exactly what I needed after all that torment. We were back as Grimsley found us, mostly, though now I was on top and Grimsley was ravaging my primed ass.

"D-don't you ever just cum?" I muttered up at Grimsley as he drew upward and shoved back down harder in retribution. I yelped a little, and what space had come between Shauntal and I in his absence was gone again.

Shauntal began to shift beneath me as Grimsley pulled away, and my hand seized a fistful of mattress as again they closed the gap. There were hands on my hip and my shoulder and my head and I couldn't tell whose was whose in the mess. There was a certain rhythm to their motions that I could feel immediately, and it made my entire body surge with delight. In the space of an instant, we'd move in perfect synchronization, guided by Grimsley's touch alone, bringing me up with him and then back down into Shauntal. None of us were ever entirely away from or out of another, but only when we were all flush together did things feel right.

They probably felt right because, as they moved faster against me, I realized that I may as well have not been there. I was stuck in the middle of them, and their motions synched up to basically fucking each other, just with me in the middle to change things up. Their fate as victims of routine was only spared because I was there, though they seemed to slip off into their own worlds and I may as well have not been. Grimsley pushed down into me and Shauntal pushed up against me, and their total sum was that the right one was doing the penetrating and the right one was receiving it, and with their eyes closed it may well have been the same, except it wasn't nearly as full a fit as she was used to, and Grimsley knew it was way too tight on his end.

One of the hands I assumed was Grimsley's by the way the arm attached to it pressed against me shifted down to between my and Shauntal's bodies. It was a tight fit as it found her clitoris and begin to rub it, bringing a not-too-pleasant sensation to me of his knuckles against my waist. Each time she thrust upwards or he pushed into me with enough force to press me down against her, I could feel the bony knuckles of his hand into my skin harder than was called for, but I didn't even care anymore. Sex with these two was something else; almost like a progressive rock odyssey in length and experience, and I was too bothered and aroused and drunk off the moment to care about such minor things. What mattered was something was in my ass and something else was around my penis and two sets of pleasured voices played sweet sounds for my ears.

Grimsley's face pushed down a little and seized Shauntal into a kiss. My head, off to the side, dipped forward as well and began to kiss at her cheek and upper neck. It didn't help my theory about them ignoring my existence until his head tilted away from me a little, providing a clear opening that I gladly took. Our three-way kiss was sloppy, frenzied, and fucking unbelievable. More than 'good', the three of us seemed to reach the same spiritual plane and everything fell into place so perfectly it made every moment before it seem broken and unappealing. Moans tore up my throat and into Grimsley's mouth as even the way his tongue moved against mine seemed possessive. My back wanted to arch upward, but his body pressed down on mine even tighter, sandwiching me between the two as they fucked through me.

One of my hands found their way to Shauntal's hip, and the other was on her breast, working the flesh for that extra little bit of pleasure I could squeeze out of her. She wasn't a passive partner, and every bit of sensation I piled on her was paid back to me in how she ground against me. It helped make the whole knuckle thing bearable, knowing how much it got her worked up. I applauded Grimsley's ability to read her like one of her trashy novels, the way he adjusted so quickly to any change in her own motions. They seemed to be moving as one, two halves I'd somehow wandered between, and they acted as though there wasn't a snarky, submissive wedge between them.

I wasn't sure what was louder, our moans or the sounds of our bodies crashing against each other rapidly. Stray words formed out of our mouths and into our messy pile of a kiss. My glasses fell off and I didn't care enough to get them back, my eyes already closed anyway and my senses so overloaded that I was very grateful for an arrangement that kept me passive. I didn't think by that point that I could do much of anything anymore. Hot passion streaked across my body, leaving flames in its wake that licked up at my sensitive nerves, and I surrendered to it all wholly

I was first to go. Of course I was first. I'd spent the past eternity being reamed by Grimsley, so frustrated that I could hardly form sarcastic responses. "Yes!" I shouted, repeating it again and I thrust hard into Shauntal and my body grew rigid. I could feel my penis jerking against her slick inner walls as I came inside her, the streaks of pleasure exploding through my body in blinding white light. I could feel her own orgasm follow underneath me, and Grimsley begin to fuck me even harder and without much regard for pace. I'd set them both off, and together they joined me in orgasmic bliss. Her walls clenched down on my spasming cock and I could feel a sudden warmth on my backside as Grimsley pulled out of me just in time to blow it all on the outside. He came back down lazily onto me, his still-hard penis resting on my back, while I lay buried in Shauntal, who lay still against me. We all breathed heavily and just sort of lay wordless.

"I hope it's not too late and you guys are being gross, but--" A voice deadpanned from the door connecting to the next room, halting as our three heads looked toward it in a panic. Marley stood there, expressionless and still. "I'll come back in the tomorrow." She stepped back a little so that she was out of the doorway and closed the door.

"We should lock that door," I muttered, my eyes shutting so tightly it hurt as I tried to keep myself from showing the obvious embarrassment in my face.

....................................................................

I awoke long before either Grimsley or Shauntal did, though it was already midday when I did so. We hadn't stopped after Marley's run-in, although I suspected they continued on after I was exhausted. Smelling of sweat and sex, I pulled myself away from the bed and got into the shower, my body still aching in all the right places. It had been one hell of a night, and if I kept going at the pace I was, I worried my body would start falling apart.

After the shower and gathering my clothes, I hurried out of the hotel room and endeavored to return to mine, see if anybody was up for lunch, and then maybe do some battling. Oh, that's right. Pokemon. I came here to battle and prove my awesomeness. It all sort of got lost in N's return and running into the two elites, such that my two days there so far had involved no training or battling. Typical of me to go somewhere and end up sleeping my way through several people before even thinking about why I was there. I had a qualifier to think about. A one-on-one fight with a currently qualified trainer, and if I won, I'd get in. If I lost, I'd have to wait two years, and pay back the cost of my room. Registered competitors got free lodgings. Knowing that this wasn't rookie land, I should probably do some training first, scope out what my competition was like. As I stepped outside, though, I found Marley leaving her room. My gaze shot over to the opposite direction and my head hung low as I tried to keep her from noticing what I was--

“Hello Cheren,” she said.

Cursing under my breath, I turned around to face the obscenely pale girl. “Hi, Marley.”

“I was going down to get lunch. If you aren't busy, would you like to join me?”

“Uh, s-sure,” I said, nodding a bit too quickly and following her down the hall. “So uh, about what you walked in on last night...”

“Yes, I wanted to say something about that, actually.”

“You did?”

“It worried me. Have you considered protection? I don't know if you are aware, but the rate of STD infection is--”

“Hold on. Before you continue, is this more of your weird sense of humor?”

“It is. I'm sorry if it's offended you, I was just trying to make conversation.”

“It's okay. I've said things far more offensive before and actually meant them.”

“I am a little surprised, however, that you would have sex with a man and a woman at the same time. Despite your clothes, I had assumed you were nominally heterosexual, and the act of having sex with multiple people doesn't make a lot of sense to me.”

“Nominally?”

“Yes. Although I will admit, much about sex eludes me. But, we don't have to dwell on that. Whatever you enjoy older men and their girlfriends doing to you is none of my concern.”

“You're something else,” I said as we stepped into the elevator and headed down to the coffee shop. “Oh Arceus, is this what it's been like for everyone this whole time?”

“The elevator isn't that bad,” she shrugged. “At least there's no music.”

“Ugh, that's exactly what I mean! I've spent my entire life being insufferably sarcastic, and now you're showing me what it's like on the other side.”

“And now you feel you should go to your friends and apologize for what you've done?”

“Oh, hell no. I couldn't stop if I tried, even if I wanted to. It's just jarring.”

“You aren't driven away by my sarcasm. Good, some people don't understand what I do and end up walking away.”

“Don't get me wrong, half the time you speak another language to me. But, I wouldn't walk away. If my friends suffered through all the subtle insults over the years and stayed with me, then who am I to flee at the first sign of snark?” I looked down for a moment, then grabbed my face. “Did we just have a bonding moment in elevator?”

“I'm not sure. But let's err on the side of caution and pretend we didn't.”

“Now you're speaking my language.”

….......................................................................

“I slept through most of school,” I said, stirring my coffee. “Once the teacher started digging frantically for reasons why the protagonist of every book had some kind of messianic symbolism, all I had to do to fight insomnia was think about Lord of the Flies.”

“Agreed. I held no interest in Catcher in the Rye, which is rather ironic, actually.”

“Ugh, to this day White calls me 'Holden' just to bug me.”

“Don't worry, you're nothing like him. I remember a few brief moments of that book where I actually laughed a little.”

“You're merciless, you know that?”

“You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops.”

My face reddened a little and I choked a bit on my words. “Was that a--”

“Yes.”

“Marry me.”

“Sorry, but my true love shall always be this coffee. It pleases me in ways no man ever will.”

“I'll admit, this coffee leaves me less sore than any man ever has. Or woman, for that matter. White went through a bit of a rough phase that still creeps up ever now and again. Say, have you ever actually da--”

“Hey, four eyes!”

The cafe died as everyone turned to look at the source of the obnoxious shout. My eyes rose a little to see the blue-haired, white suited git from a few days earlier. His entourage had changed, the meek girl who handled his hair replaced by a scowling bleach-blonde with a bad fake tan that made her look like a carrot, and so much makeup that I was almost choking on the chemical fumes from where I sat. Unlike the grunt he brought with him, the woman looked to be in her forties and vainly attempting to avoid age by slowly changing the composition of her face to be plastic instead of skin so that it wouldn't wrinkle. She wasn't doing a very good job. I could see he was pointing right at me, and I just crossed my legs and leaned back in my chair.
“So, daddy bought you some badges. It's funny that you called me 'four eyes', because you probably need glasses yourself.” I motioned toward the rest of the cafe, filled with people on their laptops or chatting, most of them wearing glasses. “Could have been almost anyone in this place.”

“Do you know him?” Marley asked.

“Briefly.” Not getting out of my seat, I sipped my coffee and sighed. “How badass you must be, to have accumulated several badges in twenty-four hours. Must be some kind of record.”

“Don't speak that way to my son, you little twerp!” the blonde screamed, suddenly making things infinitely more entertaining.

I burst into laughter as everyone else stared, shocked at me. “Oh, this is beautiful. You went home, complained to your mom that someone stood up to you, and brought her here to yell at me?”

“Don't you dare speak to him like that!” she shouted. “You're going to be in so much trouble for hurting him you little shit. Why don't you come here and I'll show you what it's like to be punched by someone older than you."

Marley turned around in her chair in that weird doll-like manner where only her neck seemed to move and everything else remained perfectly still. “You wear a lot of makeup to look pretty, but it doesn't make you any prettier on the inside. Maybe you should try eating some.”

I snorted, and a few other people chuckled nervously at it, too. She had quite the quick tongue. “Look, I'm just trying to have a coffee. I'm sorry for punching your prissy little darling, but your coming here to yell at me is just undermining the whole reason I did so about the world not wanting to put up with his bullshit. Fine, I was out of line, but try being a good parent and use it to teach him some sort of lesson.”

“Did you just call me a bad parent?” she shouted, grabbing a Pokeball. “Oh it's on now, faggot!”

“Why do people keep saying that about my clothes?” I groaned. “Fine, then. We'll fight. If I win, you, the git that came out of you, and Cujo leave me alone.”

“Deal!"

Finishing my coffee, I got up to pay for it, moving over to the cash and opening my wallet. A devious smile flashed my lips as she told me it would be a dollar and sixty seven cents. "Y'know," I sighed, placing my wallet on the counter, "All I see are twenties, but I swear there's some change in here. Let me look for some." Rifling through the pockets of the wallet as slowly and thoroughly as possible, I could almost feel the seething hatred of the rich folk behind me, so pent up and ready to fight that my calm stalling tactic was driving them right up the wall, just as hoped. They were getting impatient, and impatient people always made mistakes.

I learned few lessons, getting through life snarky and always coming out somewhere close to the top. But one of the important lessons I learned was that keeping cool was vital. Even in battle, you stay level-headed and let them make all the mistakes for you. What was previously a loving way of coping with Bianca's ditziness had become a viable tactic in battle. Get them worked up, get them angry, get them wanting to punch you in the face just to wipe that smirk off of it, and they'll become so focused on making you pay that they'll fuck up. The kid spent a day regrouping and getting his mom to yell at me, so they were practically at Captain Ahab levels of being blinded by anger. I had this one in the bag.

"Come on already!" she shouted.

"I'm trying to pay for my coffee," I deadpanned, emulating Marley's empty tone and even her cadence.

"Fuck it, here!" she shouted, throwing a bill worth several orders of magnitude more than the coffee. "Keep the change! You, faggot, outside, now!"

"Vengeance on a dumb brute! That simply smote thee from blindest instinct! Madness!"

She groaned and stormed outside with her son and his bodyguard or whatever the fuck he was there for, and I calmly followed with Marley.

"Give it your all out there, okay?" she said, leaning in and giving me a peck on the cheek. "And win. For me."

Color filled into my face and I averted my gaze. "I will."

"One Pokemon each," she shouted from a safe distance away. "Our strongest."

I nodded, grabbing the ball from my belt and rolling it between my thumb and my index finger. "Would be rather apropos to have a Wailord on hand, but I guess you'll do, Emboar."

"Ursaring, let's get back at him for hurting my baby!"

The two Pokemon came out, and neither looked particularly threatened. Emboar had learned to put on airs and act more smug and cocky than he was, and Ursaring merely responded by roaring at us and holding his arms out. They actually looked pretty well-matched at a glance. Emboar most of a foot shorter, but looked bulkier and heavier overall, while the bear Pokemon came in at just under six feet and had some definite power in those arms. It wouldn't come down to that, though. Even if this Ursaring was stronger, the species as a whole has no range game.

"Flame charge!"

"Close combat!"

Emboar started in a mad sprint toward the bear, his entire form bursting into heavy, rolling red flame. I could feel the heat coming off of him as he dove shoulder-first into his opponent, the accumulated flames exploding around them. Through the smoke, I could make out the silhouette of the staggered Ursaring coming back with a flurry of swipes and short punches to try and knock Emboar back, though the bulky pig mostly weathered the blows, guarding them with his arms raised in front of him.

"Go for an arm thrust!" I shouted, getting the upper hand on orders as I made out their actions through the smokescreen. Either through rust or inexperience, my opponent--who, I realized, I never got the name of--said nothing.

Parrying one of the small punches, Emboar struck with several strong hits, making Ursaring's body bend and twist, contorting to each heavy blow. Again and again, he struck the bear like a prize fighter with a fire under his feet, wearing him down with a relentless assault.

"Now, rock smash!"

Wind up for one final strike, he hit Ursaring square on the target painted on his chest and sending the normal type hurtling out of the smoke as it began to clear. There was a clear gap now, and it was time to end it.

"Fire blast!"

"Hyper beam!"

I'd been self-assured by that point, even going so far as to throw out my hand as I shouted the order, but that stopped when I heard those words. "Hyper beam". No, that wasn't--damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Emboar had a large space, and he was supposed to use his ranged advantage, and I hadn't counted on Ursaring knowing its one potential ranged move. Few did.

Emboar sent the burst of flame out, but it was blown away by a massive beam of blinding white energy. Upon striking Emboar square in the gut, a heavy gust picked up and blew back my hair, sending up a cloud of dust. My Pokemon fell back several feet and hit the ground hard. Nobody expected that, and the crowd of onlookers who I just noticed had gathered to watch stared in awe. Ursaring fell to one knee and panted, the move exhausting his already beaten and overworked body. Emboar still showed signs of life, but it wouldn't do much good if he couldn't get back on his feet before Ursaring could fire off another. Running their Pokemon to the edge was something that many trainers were willing to do when they had to, and while I personally despised the strategy and thought it harmful, I didn't know how my opponent would react.

"You can do it!" I shouted. "Come on Emboar, we've been through worse. If we can beat Ald--" I stopped, my fist clenching up and my entire body tightening. "If we can become a Unova League champion, we can deal with her easily."

Slowly, he fought back to his feet and, just to show he was still able to go, the flames on his shoulders flaring up as he punched the ground.

Triumphantly, I shouted, "Defense curl, then a rollout!"

Emboar started into a run, diving forward as his massive body curled up into a ball and his momentum sent him hurtling toward the Ursaring. He'd been waiting for that, though, and without the command of his trainer, grabbed the rolling Pokemon and threw him long. Still spinning madly, Emboar went over the crowd, clearing them by an easy fifteen feet, and disappearing off into the distance. The people dispersed, running off to the side for fear of when he came back around. He was so far gone, though, that I couldn't even seen him. There was no way that he could have been thrown that far, so why was he--

Genius.

It took a full thirty seconds for him to come back into view, accompanied by loud screams as many people who had no idea what was going on had to avoid being run over by the behemoth of a Pokemon. He was closing the distance fast, and whatever he hit first was not going to remain in one piece.

"Hyper beam!" she screeched, as I expected. Ursaring's mouth opened and another massive stream of white shot out, headed straight for Emboar.

When it struck Emboar this time, though, it was a different story. Rollout picked up power as it went on longer and the speed picked up. He went long on purpose to build up momentum, at that point so fast that the beam could hardly touch him. People cheered and shouted and oo'd as my Pokemon defied the powerful move and advanced. I could hear brat and his mom calling foul and yelling, "No!"

Knowing his momentum would make slowing down impossible, he cleared the final few feet by unfurling from the roll and, in mid-air, striking the Ursaring hard with his shoulder. Falling back together, they dragged ground with them and left a crater in their wake. When the dust settled, Emboar was tired, but still standing, raising his arm in triumph before finding the act too exhausting and lowering it.

I called him back to his Pokeball, deciding that I'd give him the best dinner I could get once he was patched up.

"This isn't over!" the kid shouted. "I'll find some way to get back at you!"

"We had a deal," I said, throwing my arms up. "But please, if you want to be publicly humiliated again, call me." I turned away from them as they kept on shouting, having proven my point again and just wanting to get some damn lunch.

Marley came up to me, hands clasped together and down her waist. "Congratulations, you won."

"Well, you asked me to give it my all."

"And you did, thanks for that. Because I got the news this morning that I will be your qualifying match. How about we take a rain check on that lunch date?" Her face still perfectly still, she set off in silence.

It took me some time to register what she said and what it meant. When I got it, my face went into a scowl. She tricked me into going all-out and showing how I battled with the Pokemon I was obviously going to use; even threw in a kiss to get me worked up. All so that she'd have the edge when we fought for a battle that had real stakes.

She was right. You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops after all.
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You Don\'t Meet Nice Girls in Coffee Shops