Regrets in the Crying Sky | By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 7052 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure. |
A/N: Many songs could go along with this chapter, but two that were recommended and really impressed me were Lacuna Coil's "End of Time" and Tritonal feat. Phoebe Ryan, "Now Or Never."
Chapter 3
Hesitancy
It was bliss to speak the words freely, a soothing balm to the acid that had been eating away at Gray's heart for far too long. Whatever sin they were about to commit, they were ready to embrace it together, all for this fleeting chance at true happiness. Although outside, the lightning flashed like warning signs and the rainstorm beat harder, in that room all sounds and smells faded. Only their breathing and the heady musk of their skin permeated the bedroom.
Their lips united again, softly at first. Then Gray grabbed a handful of Natsu's hair and yanked him in closer. The Dragon Slayer grunted at such roughness, and he pressed Gray tighter against the wall, pinning him there with his hips. Gray groaned at the hard bulge that rubbed against him, feeling how aroused Natsu was at just kissing. He reached around, grabbed Natsu's hips, and yanked him in even closer, rotating his groin a little to rub that erection.
"Ahhh," Natsu cried out as he shuddered.
He yanked off Gray's white coat and unbuttoned the black shirt. His fingers glided over the cold skin and pushed the fabric away, letting it drop to the floor. Gray tried to remove the shirt that clung tightly to Natsu's strong abs, but he got stuck pushing it up. Natsu momentarily broke off the kiss, yanked the teeshirt over his head, and threw it to the side, knocking a lampshade askew. Then he dived again to kiss Gray passionately. Their bare chests crushed into each other, cold against hot flesh, as they devoured each other's moans.
Natsu shifted his lips to hungrily kiss Gray's neck. Gray hissed as those chapped lips left a trail of searing wet kisses, like lava dripping down a volcano. Each burning touch sizzled his skin and made his heart pound faster.
"Gray," Natsu whispered, licking the rim of his ear. "Undress me."
Gray shuddered at the order. He had removed his own clothes—mostly without thinking—for many years, yet it had been a secret fantasy of his to undress Natsu. He knew he could have done it in a flash, but he wanted to savor this moment. He grabbed Natsu's belt and slowly threaded it out of the buckle. The metal rattled as the leather slid through, and Gray let the belt hang loosely to the side. His palm rubbed up the zipper, groping slightly, as he blindly felt his way up to the top button.
Natsu hissed as those fingers touched him so gently. He had asked Gray to do this because he wanted to hurry and get naked. Who better for a quick removal of clothes than Fairy Tail's very own stripper?
Damn him for being such a tease!
Still, this slow pace dragged out the pleasure, so Natsu said nothing. As Gray's long fingers slid over him, he felt himself rising, getting bigger and harder, as his groin yearned to be freed from its cotton confines.
At last, with an easy flick, Gray undid the button. Then just as slowly, while thrusting his tongue into Natsu's mouth, he languidly undid the zipper, moving centimeter by centimeter, his thumb and forefinger grasping the zipper clasp, but the other fingers stroking the bulge that had grown considerably in the past minute.
Gray reached his hand inside the opened fly and rubbed against the boxers, caressing between the layers of fabric, feeling out the girth hidden within. Natsu tensed with a choking noise, then shuddered out a low, throaty moan as the chill of those sculpting fingers permeated his boxers and tingled his burning arousal.
Wordlessly, Gray retracted his hand and grabbed the hem of the boxers along with the belt loops of Natsu's pants. He pulled back, gazing heatedly into those lowered, squinty eyes. Then slowly, savoring the journey, he pushed the clothes down Natsu's hips and over his thighs. His whole body dropped with them.
Gray's knees bent more, taking him lower and lower. He kissed Natsu's neck, right over the scar. As he guessed, that was immensely sensitive and left the Dragon Slayer shivering. He nipped Natsu's collarbone, then his lips trailed kisses down the firm chest, laying a chaste yet teasing kiss to each nipple, before dropping further, down the valley that formed between the hills and vales of his abdomen, licking into his belly button, before reaching the trail of pink, wiry hair. The pants were already to Natsu's knees, his arousal freed. Gray paused to look at that mast of manhood, admiring the curved shape, the flushed color, the thick veins, and the wrinkles around his sack.
"Beautiful," he admired softly.
He gave the head a small peck, just a tease, yet even just that made Natsu's hips tense and begin to thrust. Gray pulled back, denying him more … for now. He glanced up with a devious smile, and Natsu glared down in sexual frustration.
"We'll get to that soon," he promised, before continuing to push the pants down to Natsu's ankles.
Eagerly, the Dragon Slayer stepped out of the clothes and put his hand on Gray's head, stroking through the damp black hair. His mouth opened, ready to ask something, yet he held back. Already, he felt guilty for doing this, potentially ruining Gray's marriage. He felt unworthy of asking for more.
Gray saw the yearning look, and he rose back up to his knees. His hands retraced their voyage, sliding back up those powerful thighs, then stroked right over the cock. Natsu shuddered and hissed, "Yessss!"
"I want to taste you," Gray whispered. He leaned forward and slowly, testing it out, he licked up Natsu's shaft.
"Ahh, Gray," Natsu breathed in a sibilant gasp.
Gray savored the heady taste. In his youth dating around, plus five years of marriage, he had experienced plenty of blowjobs, but he never thought he would one day be giving one. He had fantasies and wet dreams, of course. When they had worked together as a team, every time Gray saw Natsu in a hot spring, or changing together in a hotel room, he had looked at that shaft and fantasied about sucking it. However, actually doing it was … amazing! To give the man he loved this much pleasure was far beyond arousing.
He knew what he personally liked, so Gray tried to do it back to Natsu. He hated to think that being married had given him an edge on good sex, yet it was likely true. Now, he wanted to show Natsu everything he had ever learned. He wanted to make this one moment together to be all that both of them had ever dreamed, a cumulation of experience and randy desires.
He licked up, then swirled his tongue around the flared edge. He sucked and nipped on the foreskin, earning a loud cry of pleasure from the Dragon Slayer. Natsu's fingers clutched into Gray's hair, and the ice mage glanced up to see those narrow eyes almost closed, opened only enough to watch him. Purposely, with his eyes locked onto Natsu's, he gave a long, slow lick and watched that face contort at the sweet torture.
"Do you want this, Natsu?"
With his throat too constricted to get out more than grunts, he nodded fervently.
Gray gave a consenting nod. "Tell me when it's too much."
That deep voice, threatening intense pleasure, made Natsu shiver even before Gray made his move. He licked once more, looked lovingly at the thick shaft, before wrapping his lips around it and thrusting down.
Natsu's head flung back, and he cried out, "Oh God!" Before he could fully wrap his mind around what was happening, Gray was moving on him, his mouth wet and warm, his tongue pressing the cock up against the roof of his mouth to make it tighter. Natsu cursed and fought the instinct of thrusting into Gray's mouth.
"Gray," he groaned.
The ice mage hummed, and Natsu clawed the wall with his nails, scraping into the paint. He glanced down at Gray, on his knees, his head moving back and forth on him, lips sucking and sucking and sucking! Natsu tensed his stomach, but seeing this … this dream … was overwhelming.
Then Gray glanced up, and Natsu's throat hitched. Those droopy eyes were dark, heavy, and full of sensual promises. Despite his mouth being busy, there was a smirk to his eyes. Gray knew how good this must be feeling. He gave a savoring suck up the shaft, twirled his tongue around the tip, before slamming back down until it pressed into his throat.
"Oh God, Gray! Wait, wait … dammit!"
Gray pulled back, sucking the whole way, until popping out with a trailing string of saliva. He wanted this moment to last, and sucking Natsu off was far too tempting. He rose back up and caressed those flushed cheeks as Natsu tried to calm himself.
"Damn, you're good," Natsu hissed out, sounding frustrated. "I don't know if I'd be good enough."
Gray smiled, rubbing his thumb over Natsu's lip. "If it's you, it'll be more than good."
"But I have to compete with Juv-…"
The caressing thumb suddenly pressed hard against Natsu's mouth, instantly silencing him. Gray's eyes flashed a warning to shut up. "You're not competing against anyone tonight. It's not a fight, Natsu. It's just us. Only us." His eyes softened, yet they took on a sorrowful expression. "Don't make me think I have to judge you against her. I … I can't do that."
Natsu felt a stab to his chest. Gray might say it was not a competition, but he knew that whatever he did, Gray would compare it to what he was used to. That was only natural. Still, it made Natsu sad. More than ever, he felt like he was intruding where he did not belong.
Gray saw that the Dragon Slayer was bravely holding back tears. Natsu felt guilty, and Gray understood that perfectly well. If they wanted to continue, they both had to move away from thoughts of the world outside and utterly lose themselves in this world, a world of just them, a world where fire and ice coexisted.
"Undress me, Natsu," he ordered sensually. "I want to feel you against my skin."
Natsu made a small gasp. He was honestly shocked that here he was, fully naked, yet Gray was still half dressed. What a switch!
Natsu unbuttoned the tight black jeans, still damp and road-weary from the mission, and eagerly yanked the zipper down. There was no teasing from him. He wanted these clothes gone, and he wanted it now! However, Natsu found it difficult to pull the skin-tight jeans down Gray's sinewy legs. He tugged and pulled, and Gray helped him to shimmy the trousers down.
"How the hell do you strip so fast wearing clothes like this?" the Dragon Slayer grumbled.
"That's why I wear tight jeans now. It's harder to pull them off," Gray explained. He did not want to explain that it was Juvia who demanded he wear tighter clothes while in public, since she did not want anyone to see her precious Gray-sama's private parts.
After a struggle that took far too long for Natsu's liking, the clothes were off … all of them. He stepped back and gazed across Gray's body, truly looking this time. There were no frustrated shouts of "Gray, your clothes" this time. It was just the two of them, and they both realized, if they took this one more step … just one more … there was no turning back.
"Gray," Natsu said quietly, his face betraying his anguish. "Are you sure?"
The ice mage had a gentle yet understated smile. "Not really," he confessed with a soft laugh to hide his nervousness. "But I want it … more than anything. I've waited too many years for this." He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Natsu's, not a full kiss, just a glance to feel the heat from that mouth and to reassure himself that this really was Natsu Dragneel in front of him. "I want you, Natsu," he whispered into the flushed ear. "I need you." He licked around the ear, snagged the lobe with his lips, and tugged on it, making Natsu shudder with pleasure.
"Who … um …" With embarrassment, Natsu looked aside. "Which one of us … you know … I mean, you're probably used to topping, but … I sort of…"
Gray took hold of Natsu's shoulders, instantly silencing him. He looked deeply into the Dragon Slayer's face, and then he slowly leaned forward to Natsu's ear. The man used to flames shivered, thinking Gray was going to lick his earlobe again, but instead a cold stream of air whispered.
"I want you to fill me, Natsu. I've felt empty for so long. I want you to fill that void. Fill me with your fire. Melt the years of cold loneliness. Burn away all the regrets … until I burst into flames."
Natsu's brow tightened at hearing such ardor. "Gray!" he exclaimed in a soft, shocked voice.
Hesitancy vanished like smoke. Natsu grabbed Gray and kissed him with as much passion as he could thrust into just his lips alone. His hands reached around, grasping at the cold skin, sliding up and down the sinewy back, feeling the scars left behind from many battles. He felt Gray also grabbing at him, and those cold fingers sizzled over every place they touched.
Gray reached down and grasped Natsu's cock. "Grab mine, too," he instructed. "Rub them at the same time."
Natsu reached down and grasped Gray's shaft. As he felt Gray's cold hands move on him, he matched the tempo. When Gray's thumb ran over the head, Natsu attempted that as well and wiped away a pearl gathered on the top. His panting got louder, filling the silent room.
"Together," Gray huffed.
He brought his body even closer, until the cocks were touching each other. Then Gray stroked both with his hands. Cold and hot blended, and the two men gasped at the same time.
Natsu's hips thrust harder against Gray, pressing him into the wall. Gray shuddered at the feel of that hot body crushing against him. He felt the flex of muscles as Natsu humped slowly, gliding over him, grinding their cocks together.
"N-Natsu," he whimpered.
The Dragon Slayer pulled back, gasping heavily. His eyes burned with lust as he demanded, "Bed, now!"
That was all they needed for action. Natsu yanked Gray off the wall, and Gray pulled Natsu close to him as they stumbled over to the mattress and crashed down. They scrambled over blankets and sheets, kicking them out of the way, while their hands wildly groped anything they could touch.
Natsu kissed down Gray's neck, sucking gently, not enough to leave marks. Part of him realized that, after tonight, he had to hand Gray back over to his wife. He could not claim Gray, not like he wanted to. He was … borrowing. No, stealing! There could be no marking, no claiming! It left a bitter taste in his mouth, knowing that he was taking away a man who belonged to a good friend like Juvia.
Still, that guilt was not enough to stop him now. Natsu had dreamed of this moment, a chance to show Gray his deepest desires and pleasure him gently, roughly, slowly, quickly … dammit, he didn't even know how he wanted this night to go! He just didn't want it to ever end.
However, Natsu realized a dilemma. "If we wanna do this, we'll need something better than spit."
"Olive oil," Gray immediately panted out, writhing under him.
"Ooh, I got that." Natsu pulled away and ran nude out of the bedroom, pattering across the floor in a rush of excitement.
Gray bolted up as he ran off. "Idiot, what are you…? Stupid," he sighed, collapsing back onto the pillow. "Worst timing ever, seriously!"
He stared up at the candle's flickering shadows dancing on the ceiling. Being alone in this bedroom, not having Natsu there to distract him, made Gray think about what he was doing. Slowly, his heart began to sink. It was easy to think "I'm about to make love to the man I've wanted for fifteen years," yet he also was forced to admit to a crueler reality: "I'm cheating on the wife I've been married to for five years, the woman who wants to give me children."
Juvia's sweet smile came to his mind. Her eyes sparkled like a summer shower, and her lips glistened like dewy rose petals. He could almost hear her voice laughing again: "Gray-sama!"
He looked at the window. It always rained when Juvia was sad. He wondered if the rain today was just a normal storm, or if it was because she missed him and could hardly wait for the weekend, for him to return to her house, to her arms, and to her bed.
Bitterly, Gray swallowed back guilt and whispered to himself, "What the hell am I doing?"
Natsu suddenly bounded back inside the bedroom. "I got it!" he cheered, holding the bottle of olive oil aloft like a treasure at the end of a great quest. "This should make it easier. Good thing you know a little about what to do." He laughed lightly as he set the bottle on a nightstand. "I almost wish I had played around a little when I was younger, just so we aren't wasting time like this. Now…" He leaped onto the bed and crawled up beside Gray with a predatory gleam in his eyes. "Where was I?"
Gray kept his gaze on the dark window as Natsu kissed his neck and warmed his chilly body with those burning hands. Although the touches made his body respond on instinct, his face showed indifference, even repulsion.
Good thing you know a little about what to do.
The only reason he knew about olive oil was from one time with Juvia. How she learned about it, he never asked. He knew she had some serious boyfriends before joining Fairy Tail. When he had tried to ask about them early on in their courtship, she began to cry. Then Magnolia was struck by a storm.
A storm like tonight.
"Gray-sama!"
That phantom voice spiked through his brain and straight down to his heart. Guilt tore through him, and he hastily put his hands on Natsu's chest, shoving him away. The Dragon Slayer was jolted back, shocked at being rejected so suddenly, but he saw the anguish in Gray's face. When he looked down to those hands holding him back, the flash of the gold wedding band was like a siren warning him that this man belonged to another.
"Oh … oh man, I totally messed up the mood, didn't I? I'm so sorry, Gray," he said regretfully. "I guess it's probably best to give you some time to think about it. I shouldn't have rushed you and—"
"No," the ice mage snapped hoarsely, breathing too hard to swallow.
Gray's head was to the side, resting against the pillow so he did not have to see the look of pain he knew would be on the Dragon Slayer's face. This was not Natsu's sin, but his own. He was the one who ran off and got married. His eyes slowly rolled up, glancing from under his lowered brow, and they gleamed darkly with tumultuous passions.
"I want you, Natsu," he whispered in a tremble of fear and desire. "Never in my life have I craved anything like I do now … and never before have I ever felt such…" He struggled to find the right word. "…disgrace."
Natsu's mouth dropped a little, ready to protest.
"You're free, you're wild, and I'm…" Regret stabbed at Gray's conscience. "I'm caged," he sighed, looking at that golden ring on his left hand. "I let myself be tied down. I don't have any right to escape that, no matter how much I might want freedom. It's too late for me. How can a domestic cat play with a tiger? What right does a pet songbird have to soar in the free sky?"
Natsu's face darkened to hear Gray's self-disgust. If Gray simply did not want to sully his honor, that was understandable, and Natsu was prepared to draw away from him once more. However, the desire—and the fear of that desire—that tortured Gray now irked the Dragon Slayer.
"I'll bust you out!" Natsu declared boldly.
Gray looked up in surprise and confusion. Bust him … out?
"I'll open the cage." Natsu took Gray's hand, tugged on the wedding ring, and pulled it to the tip of his finger. He hesitated there on the last knuckle and looked back into Gray's face. "Only if you want," he added softly.
Gray looked at the golden band that ensnared him like a collar and leash. That ring had been a shield to hide behind, like a coward, so he did not have to face the truth of his emotions. Yes, he loved Juvia deeply, but he loved someone else, too. Love, like hate, was just another emotion. Just as Gray could feel hate toward more than one person, he felt love for two people. He just wished that sort of dual love was okay. Juvia would hate him. Still, just once … just for tonight…
Slowly, battling conflicting emotions, he pulled his hand away, drawing back from that symbol of eternal fidelity. All a lie, now.
Natsu took the ring and placed it on the nightstand. It clinked against the wood, and Natsu made sure it was firmly down before pulling his hand back.
"Soar with me, Gray," he smiled, challenging him and urging him onward. "When you want your cage back, it's right there," he nodded to the golden band resting on the small table, "but just for tonight, be free with me." He caressed the face that had gone ashen with shock. "Don't be scared. The cage is waiting for you, but first … let me show you how to fly like a dragon!"
Gray stared, awestruck. After a few heart-stopping seconds, he laughed tensely, almost like someone who had gone suddenly insane. Yet the laugh was not of madness. It was pure relief! This was the first time in five years that he felt the heavy weight of domestic duty lift off his shoulders. It was such a liberating feeling, it made him laugh more.
Natsu smiled in relief to see Gray's face brighten again. Removing the wedding ring was a huge risk. It was also unfair, but Natsu no longer cared. He wanted Gray … so much! He was willing to ignore everything else just so he could indulge in this moment.
No more hesitancy!
End of Chapter 3
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