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And So It Ends	By : Sasunarufan13 Category: +. to F > Attack on Titan /Shingeki No Kyojin Views: 4852 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own nor make profit of Attack on Titan. Hajime Isayama owns it.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
Author's note: A bit later than I wanted, but I had some trouble with the last few scenes and it's only thanks to a good friend of mine that it didn't end up being crappy. It also turned out a bit longer than the previous ones, but that couldn't be helped.
Thanks to the following reviewer: Sara101
Warnings: angst, a lot of it; mentions of blood; lemon; drama; time skip; rather bloody birth scene; foul language
I hope you'll like this last part!
Part 3
Betrayal shouldn't sting this much, Eren mused as he stared blankly at the floor. He had experienced worse betrayal with Annie, Reiner and Bertolt. Really, this piece of betrayal shouldn't even be a bleep on his radar, considering he didn't even know the girl personally.
And yet, it still stung fiercely like a thousand needles puncturing his skin.
The Court knew about his condition. One of the new recruits – a girl called Maria or something along those lines – had gone through Hange's personal files and had stumbled upon Eren's file in which the scientist was jotting down notes about his condition. Thanks to their shitty luck, the girl turned out to be a daughter of one of the higher ups in the Court and she had gone tattling to them.
Result: Commander Erwin, Captain Levi, Squad Leader Zoe and Eren were summoned to the Court. Some of his friends were there as well, loitering somewhere outside. The guards had been very peculiar about who they let inside.
"Is there a particular reason as to why you did not disclose this information to the Court, Commander Smith?" a man in his mid-forties – already more grey than brown haired – called Peter Larren asked frostily, waving the file accusingly in the air.
As always Erwin remained unperturbed. "As this is an unusual situation, we decided to study it to find out what would happen. Squad Leader Zoe is in charge of this research," he answered calmly, looking Larren straight in his eyes.
A woman – whose face resembled a toad, down to the nearly bulging eyeballs – piped up, "And you did not think to remove it as soon as you became aware of the shifter's condition?" Her mouth was curled up in a sneer and her voice was nasal.
"As I've written down in the file, Eren's healing counteracted the attempt to removal of the foetus," Hange replied, their eyes narrowed slightly. "We're keeping an eye on it, however, so there's no need for any worry."
"Be that as it may, I think I speak for us all if I say that having a titan child in our midst would be a catastrophe," Larren retorted sharply. His ice blue eyes glided over Eren, resting temporarily on his waist, before the man sneered and looked away.
Eren barely resisted the urge to wrap his arms around his waist and hide the evidence from those piercing, judging eyes.
"We're not even sure that the kid will be a titan," Levi remarked; his tone even sharper than that of Larren. "For all we know, it's going to be a normal kid."
The toad woman curled up her upper lip and argued, "The fact that his body healed before you could even remove it signifies that - "
"That Yeager's titan healing kicked in just like it always does whenever the fuck he gets injured," Levi snapped, crossing his arms. "It doesn't mean shit."
Another man sitting in the back row commented, "What I am curious about is who the other father is."
Larren raised an eyebrow. "Yeager?"
Well, at least it was his last name and not just 'shifter' like some had taken to calling him. It was progress of some kind.
"I don't know his name," Eren replied blankly. "We weren't exactly interested in trading names."
The man in the back snorted derisively and Eren reminded himself sternly that lashing out would only bring them into bigger trouble. What he wouldn't give to punch that fucker in his face, though …
"So we have a male shifter who is pregnant and a large possibility that the child will be a titan," another woman – who seemed to exist entirely out of wrinkles – remarked coolly. "Tell me, Smith, do you have a plan in case the child is a titan?"
Erwin raised an eyebrow, not ruffled in the slightest by the large amount of distrust in the old croon's voice. "The chances of the child being a titan are incredibly small to nil, madam. We've discovered years ago where titans actually originate from, so I'm confident that Yeager's child won't be a titan. Nevertheless we will take the appropriate action and supervise the child in case of potential trouble."
Only the commander could be so flippant and call a possible titan in the making 'potential trouble'. Eren swallowed a hysterical chuckle, biting down harshly on his tongue.
"Throughout the years you have proven your worth despite your … unorthodox methods at times," Larren spoke slowly. "You have given us no reason to doubt your decisions."
But. There was going to be a but, Eren knew. And he was proven right. Fuck, for once he wished he wasn't right.
"But in this situation we cannot turn a blind eye, Erwin," he gravelly continued. "This situation is too precarious. If word reaches the streets that a shifter is expecting a child … The people would be outraged and the ensuing panic would be catastrophic."
"The fuck, aren't you exaggerating just a bit now?" Levi glared, contempt plastered across his face. "The people aren't that fucking idiotic, fucking hell."
"Considering your contributions for the survival of humankind, we have decided that you, Commander Smith, Captain Levi and Squad Leader Zoe will only receive a black mark in your records for attempting to keep this a secret," Larren continued, acting as if he hadn't heard Levi's interruption. "Further consequences regarding you three won't be taken."
"And we're so fucking grateful," Levi muttered darkly, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. "If that is all, we have to prepare for our next mission."
Larren raised his hand and Eren suddenly, inexplicably felt cold. This was not good. Whatever Larren would say next – the young man just knew it wouldn't be good.
"You three will not suffer more consequences bar the black mark in your records," Larren repeated and his eyes slowly slid over to Eren again. This time they did not gaze away as he stated, "However, the Court has decided that the titan shifter Eren Yeager proves to be too great of a liability and his 'usefulness' has run out."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Levi questioned tersely and next to him Hange tensed up; their back rigid.
A whole block of ice seemed to have settled in Eren's stomach, weighing him down, and he closed his eyes as Larren announced the final verdict.
"We cannot risk letting that abomination inside of him live. We will not see our hard work destroyed. Tomorrow at eleven a.m. Eren Yeager will be executed."
"Not quite a fancy last meal they have given you."
Eren opened his eyes, blinked at the mildew covered stones – for being in the inner city they really took shitty care of their buildings (or maybe they just didn't care about dungeons) – and rose up on his sorry excuse for a mattress. He would probably have been better off sleeping on the floor to be honest.
"Sir," he greeted the older man casually and quirked a dark smile. "To be honest I wouldn't have eaten it even if it was the fanciest meal they had ever prepared."
Levi sneered at the plate which had been hastily thrown on the floor by a guard who seemed to want to be anywhere but near Eren. The measly excuse that had to resemble dinner was put together with a couple of half boiled potatoes and something that had to resemble sauce, but which looked more like a cat had vomited. Eren very much doubted that even Sasha could be convinced to eat it.
"Can't say I blame you," Levi muttered and studied him with narrowed eyes. "I was expecting to see Ackerman and Arlert here," he continued casually as if he wasn't speaking to someone who was officially on death row.
Eren shrugged half-heartedly. "They were here before," he said quietly; his mind assaulted with the memory of a silently crying Mikasa who was doing her best to remain strong and a numb Armin whose hands hadn't seemed to know where to land. There hadn't been much said between the three of them; what was there to say? This was not something they could bluff their way out of; after all those years, Eren's luck had finally run out. Nothing could help him anymore. He knew it, Armin knew it, Mikasa knew it. They all knew it.
The time they had had together hadn't been enough, would never be enough. Time was their greatest enemy now.
If Eren closed his eyes he could still feel Mikasa's trembling form hugging him tightly; her flower scent curling into his nose. Could still feel Armin clinging to him like he had done when they were still mere children and their greatest enemies had been bullies as big as them. When everything had seemed to simple and their lives hadn't yet been fucked over.
All of that was now gone.
The sound of a key turning into the lock – rusty metal rubbing against each other reverberating through the dungeon – shocked him out of his memories and he gaped as Levi casually strolled inside, looking right at home.
"Pretty sure the guard isn't going to agree with you coming inside the cell," he muttered, scratching the back of his head.
Levi grunted, coming to a stop in front of the bed. "He's currently enjoying Hange's explanation on how titans came into existence," he sneered. "He'll be distracted for a while I'll imagine."
Eren couldn't even find it in him to feel sorry for the bastard.
"Why are you here?" he asked, cocking his head to the right. He leant against the wall, bringing one leg up and tried to ignore the fact how he couldn't press his leg against his chest anymore thanks to his stomach being in the way.
Grey eyes, darkened, glanced away. "Erwin tried to appeal your case, but they remain by their decision," he said flatly.
"I figured they wouldn't change their minds," Eren mumbled, picking at a loose thread of the mattress. Even Erwin's influence didn't reach that far.
From his peripheral vision he noticed Levi shifting his weight. "I thought you'd be furious. Have you given up?"
Eren sighed and rolled his head backwards, thumping it against the wall. "I didn't expect them to let me live even if I wasn't in this condition," he answered flatly. "Don't get me wrong; I want to live, but I also realise that's impossible. I could turn into a titan I suppose. The idiots didn't shackle me down," he laughed bitterly. "But that would mean fucking over your careers and you don't deserve to be screwed over thanks to something I did."
"Noble till the end," Levi sneered and took a step closer. "And arrogant as hell. We don't need you to protect us, you idiot."
A self-deprecating chuckle escaped Eren and he shook his head. "Probably not, no," he acquiesced and lowered his leg, staring at his feet. "But if I can avoid making your lives difficult, I'd do it."
"You're such a fucking idiot," Levi muttered frustrated, raking his hands through his hair. He opened his mouth, but closed it with a 'snap' and he whirled around, turning his back at Eren. His whole posture radiated fury and tension and something in Eren settled and he felt strangely at ease now. He could deal with this Levi; he had dealt with him before when he was in this state.
"Instead of a last fancy meal, how about a last fuck?" he murmured, leaning forwards a bit.
A sharp bark of laughter left Levi and it sounded cold, rebounding against the walls. He turned back around and sneered. "That's how you want to spend your last night alive? Fucking? For fuck's sake, all that shifting messing with your head?"
"It's my last night," Eren said quietly and held out his hand. "Can't I decide who I want to spend it with? How I want to spend it?"
"You really make shitty choices," Levi informed him, but he crossed the remaining space anyway and halted in front of Eren, who looked up at him from his place on the bed.
"Yeah, I know," Eren smiled wryly. But you're not a choice I regret, he added silently, knowing better than to say it aloud.
It was his last night alive – was it that bad that he just wanted to forget everything for a while?
Levi had the reputation of being cold, crude and harsh, not giving a shit about authority and even less about most people. For the most part Eren agreed; Levi was standoffish, he was crude at times and harsh. He did give a shit about Erwin's authority, though, and he did care about people – he just had his own way of showing it.
What most people didn't know – and Eren was willing to bet he was actually one of the very few privileged to know this – was that Levi could be, not tender exactly, but close to it. Whenever the brunette shared the bed with the dark haired man, the sharp edges were smoothed down, leaving a softer Levi behind. He would never lose his crudeness, but there was something about the way he touched Eren, the way that his fingers glided and danced over skin, that made Eren realise that he was seeing a different side of Levi, a side that not many people were allowed to see.
It was one of the few things Eren treasured in his life.
"Did they give you time to decently clean?" Levi inquired suspiciously, eyeing Eren's shirt warily.
Eren snorted, reaching out to tug Levi's shirt off, folding it neatly. "Believe it or not, but that is actually the only thing they let me do decently. I'm guessing they were afraid I would stink the whole place up with my titan filth," he sneered, throwing himself backwards on his bed as Levi crept closer, settling between his spread legs.
"At least they understand the point of hygiene," Levi muttered darkly, tugging at Eren's shirt. "That's more than I gave them credit for, judging by the state of their rooms."
"Well, they don't have your standards of cleaning," Eren pointed out sweetly and then his stomach rolled unpleasantly as the older man shoved up his shirt, exposing his belly. "Eh, I know it's not – I can leave the shirt on. Doesn't matter."
He received an unimpressed look and an irritated cluck of a tongue. "Don't be an idiot, Eren," Levi sighed and with a final rough tug, the shirt flew off and he folded it neatly, placing it on top of his own. Steel grey eyes glided slowly from a firm chest to a protruding stomach and then to Eren's trousers, as if nothing was out of place. "You're still you," Levi stated simply and then muttered something decidedly unfriendly about the tight, white trousers that were part of their standard uniform.
Eren stifled a grin and just like that, it felt like they were in Levi's private rooms, stealing some hours before Eren had to go to his own room. Somehow they managed to get rid of their clothing with minimal cursing and Levi only grimaced slightly when he realised that in the absence of decent lubrication they would have to make do with spit.
Eren wondered whether the man had been a bit desensitised after many months of them fucking each other or whether Levi's minimal protest to the absence of decent lubrication had to do with the fact that it was their last night together.
Before the dark thoughts could settle, Eren made use of Levi's momentary distraction as he tried to figure out how to prepare the younger man with only spit as their aid and flipped them over, so that Levi landed on the bed.
Instantly two hands shot out, grabbing his hips tightly as a growl of annoyance caused Levi's chest to vibrate underneath Eren's touch; his fingers gliding over well-defined muscles.
"The hell, Eren?" Levi nearly snarled, clearly not happy with having the control been taking away from him.

Eren smirked and sat up; his arse resting on Levi’s hips, aware of the hard cock pressing insistently against his crack. Steadfastly ignoring the grotesque bulge that was his stomach, he said with a teasing lilt in his voice, “I’m impatient.”

The older man snorted and rolled his eyes. “No shit, as if I don’t …” He cut himself off with a sharp inhale and his eyes darkened visibly as he watched enraptured how Eren stuck three fingers in his mouth and sucked on them, coating them with his spit liberally.

“That’s disgusting,” Levi remarked, but he sounded distracted and his hands tightened again around Eren’s hips when the younger man removed his fingers from his mouth with a sharp ‘pop’; a thin string of saliva connecting his fingers and mouth.

“While I heal quickly, I still don’t prefer getting fucked dry,” Eren retorted snarky, but it was underlined with breathlessness as he leant forwards a bit so that he could get his hand behind him.

“Don’t fall off the bed,” Levi warned him with a huff, but his eyes were drawn to Eren’s arm and his prick twitched with interest against Eren’s fingers.

Eren rolled his eyes, but didn’t deign it worthy of a reply. Instead he focused on preparing himself, hurryingly adding one finger after the other, slipping them past the rim, ignoring the sharp burning sensation as his muscles protested. He spread his fingers, his anal muscles contracting around the digits as they tried to push his fingers out. He bit back a moan when the top of his index finger brushed against his prostate and by the time he deemed himself stretched enough, he was panting obnoxiously loud; his skin too warm and his shoulder muscles protesting against the odd way he had positioned his arm. His muscles clenched and unclenched rhythmically and he felt oddly bereft as he removed his fingers.

“Liked the show?” he smirked and raised an eyebrow when he met burning silver.

“I’ve seen better,” Levi replied dismissively, but when he shifted his hips a fraction, Eren found that his lower body contradicted his flippant remark and the brunette smiled sharply.

“Is that a challenge?” Eren questioned amused and reached behind him, grabbing hold of Levi’s cock which had started to leak pre come copiously, allowing Eren to coat his dick with it, feeling the hard prick twitch in his hold.

The dark haired man choked and slammed his head back into the mattress when Eren lowered himself on him, canting his hips and sinking down slowly; a whimper escaping him at the overwhelming sensation of feeling Levi in him; filling and stretching him more than his fingers could do. He paused, blinking rapidly as he tried to get used to the feeling of fullness after more than a month of not having any real intimate contact.

As soon as he relaxed more, he started to move slowly; the muscles in his thighs tensing up as they supported him.

“Fuck,” Levi gritted out and his hands seemed glued to Eren’s hips, helping him move up and down.

“That’s the plan, yeah,” Eren smirked and then a moan slipped out when Levi’s hips bucked, grinding deeper inside; the tip of his cock brushing against Eren’s prostate with every thrust downwards. The older man had an uncanny accuracy when it came to things like that.

After that, they didn’t waste words anymore. Calloused fingers traced a map over sweaty, hot skin; lingering near the bulging belly until tanned hands roughly shoved them lower. Pale lips met red ones in a deep kiss and tongues slipped out to play with each other, tips pressing together. Hips rolling against each other; muscles clenching and tensing up, their skin a mess of sticky heat.

The only sounds were ragged breathing, skin meeting each other and the creaking of the mattress; an occasional whimper or moan filling the tense silence.

Soon – all too soon – it was over, blinding white overtaking Eren’s vision as he came, spilling over both him and Levi’s stomach and he practically fell next to the dark haired man on the narrow bed as his lungs didn’t seem capable of getting enough oxygen; his heart thundering loudly in his ears.

This time Levi didn't immediately get up to retrieve something to clean the mess that they had become. This time he lingered next to Eren; his breathing in sync with the brunette's, eyes closed.
Eren closed his eyes too and refused to think of what that meant.
It would all be over soon anyway.
"… ke up! Er … Wake up!"
Too many mornings of getting doused with cold water after hearing those words made Eren shot up and he blinked, holding his head in his hands, feeling disorientated; the spot next to him colder than he had expected. The cell was dark and it took him a few seconds before he realised that Mikasa and Armin were standing in front of the bars; their faces nearly hidden in the hoods of their cloaks.
"Mikasa, Armin, what the hell are you two doing here?" he hissed; his voice a bit rusty. A sudden rush of fear squeezed his heart together. Was it already morning? Were they about to take him outside?
The door of his cell suddenly swung open and Mikasa rushed to him, shoving a cloak into his chest.
"The fuck, Mikasa?" he asked bewildered. Why the hell would he need a cloak to be executed?
"Get up, Eren, we need to leave now!" she hissed and pulled him up, her whole body tense. "We'll explain on the way, just get the fuck up now!"
"Okay, okay!" he groused and swung the cloak around him, stuffing his feet hastily into his discarded shoes.
There were no guards stationed at entrance of the dungeon and that was Eren's first clue that something entirely else was going on here.
"Armin?" he whispered as they lingered in the entrance for a while before Mikasa nodded decisively and led them into the corridor leading to the exit.
Through the windows he saw that it was still night; in fact Eren thought he hadn't been asleep for that long judging by the darkness and the stars dotting the night sky.
What the …
Crystal blue eyes looked at him determined. "If you think we would really let you be executed, you don't know us well," he murmured as they hurried past the remaining empty cells.
Eren abruptly halted, ignoring Mikasa's annoyed hiss. "I'm not going to let you fuck up your careers by breaking me out," he snarled quietly, taking a step back.
Like hell would he go along with this! He wasn't going to let them fuck up their lives just so he could live. They still had their lives – why the hell were they so willing to screw that up for him?
He grimaced when Mikasa clamped her hands down on his arms, her nails burrowing in his skin. Her eyes glittered brightly as she whispered sharply, "Eren, don't be fucking stupid! Like hell am I going to let you die! Don't worry; we'll be fine."
Eren stubbornly refused to budge. He crossed his arms – ignoring how her grip tightened – and said angrily, "Oh yeah? Breaking out someone on death row is not something that will go unnoticed! They are going to know who helped me break out, Mikasa. They are stupid, but not that stupid."
Armin stepped forwards, raising his hands. "Eren, do you trust us?"
Conflicting emotions warred in him and Eren admitted grudgingly, "Of course I do, you know that."
"Then trust that we know what we're doing," Armin murmured soothingly.
Eren's gaze slipped from Mikasa to Armin and back before he sighed, relaxing his aggressive posture. "What's the plan?" he asked softly, hoping to whatever was up there that he wasn't about to regret his decision.
He wasn't exactly known for making the best decisions.
"Even you, Krista?" Eren muttered disbelievingly when they arrived at the stables located right behind the dungeons.
A sharp smile was his response and she shrugged; her long gown rustling in the wind. "The Court and I have a lot of disagreements – your fate is one of them." She looked around warily and pointed to a saddled horse waiting a few feet to the right. "Take that one; I've put enough food in the bag to last you for a while. Don't worry about the gates; I've handled that problem."
Mikasa tugged at his sleeve and he turned around to face her. "You remember the small village that we discovered three months ago during that mission with the four titans?"
He nodded warily.
"Go there. The houses there are spread out far enough that you won't be bothered and there's a wood nearby so you can find food there."
It was madness, this plan. There was no way this was going to end well. Armin had explained the plan to him on their way out. In the cover of the night he would have to rush out of the walls, needing to be out of the walls before the sun rose. As soon as he was inside the forest closest to the walls, he could slow down, but he had to keep going. The village Mikasa was referring to was built quite far away from the walls; it would take him nearly a week to get there if he travelled for most of the day.
His friends couldn't join him past the wall of the inner city; they had alibis, but it was important that they were in bed by the time it was discovered that Eren was gone.
When Eren had raised his doubts about the plan, asking how they would explain the cell being open, Mikasa had reassured him that someone else had taken care of that. Her dark look had been significant enough that Eren hadn't pressed further.
He shouldn't go through with this. There was no way this was going to end well, for either of them.
"I know it'll be a while, Eren," Krista murmured, looking apologetically. "But I swear that I will reform the Court soon. When that happens, you can come back."
If that happened, was more like it, Eren amended darkly. There was no guarantee that Krista would succeed in reforming the Court. Where did that leave him? Basically a prisoner in a tiny village, his life completely changed. Nothing would ever be the same again.
This was not the future he had envisioned when he had started his training.
A slight twinge in his side made him grimace. "What am I supposed to do with this?" he asked, gesturing helplessly at his stomach.
Nausea made his stomach roll as he realised that he would be on his own at the end; nobody would be there to help him with this thing. How was it even going to get out?
Mikasa bit her lip; her arms crossed in front of her chest. "Hange said that – that you'd most likely have to cut it out as … as soon as the contractions start," she answered, sounding a bit faint.
"Wonderful," Eren replied sarcastically; bile working its way up.
"It will be all right, Eren," Krista reassured him. "I'm sorry, but you really have to go now if you want to make it out of the walls on time."
His limbs heavy, stomach churning, he made his way to the horse and saddled up, having a bit of trouble thanks to the added weight in the front.
Light eyes, the colour of a blade, shot through his mind when he gripped the reins. "Where is …" He cut himself off abruptly, not sure whether he really wanted to know the answer.
"Eren?" Armin cocked his head.
"No, never mind." Eren took a deep breath and gave them a thin smile. "Thank you, guys. For everything."
Then he urged the horse into gallop, disappearing into the town.
Leaving his old life behind.
He started talking to it. He hadn't, at first. He had been content to ignore it in the beginning, pretend nothing was wrong with him.
But his stomach kept growing each day and the quiet, the solitude surrounding him were slowly driving him insane. The houses in the village he was living in now were so far apart that he might as well be living alone. None of the vendors of the walls visited this town; if one wanted food, they had to hunt and grow it on their own.
The house was small, practically hidden by the large trees surrounding it. It had a small bathroom, big enough for toilet, a sink and a bathtub; if he sat on the toilet and turned to the left, he could place his legs in the tub and if he turned to the other side and leant a bit forwards, he could reach the sink. His bedroom existed out of one window, a wardrobe that had seen better days and a narrow bed with a single, thin sheet and a flat pillow. The kitchen was bigger, obviously intended as a space to spend the majority of the time in with a big fireplace. The dingy basement was cold enough to store meat in and the living room had a single couch and a tall bookcase with some old books left behind.
Whoever had left this place behind in a hurry – and judging by the amount of dirt he had been greeted with when he entered for the first time it had been a while since the house had last been inhabited – had left the majority of his clothes behind and they were big enough that Eren was able to use them. After giving them a thorough soaking naturally.
The majority of his days was spent searching for food: hunting down small animals for meat and their pelts for when winter would come; searching for berries and finding out which vegetables he could grow in the small backyard behind the house with the seeds one of his friends had put in his bag. Cleaning was part of his days as well; after all those years of living in clean quarters thanks to Levi's insistence, Eren's skin positively crawled at the thought of living in grimy, dust covered rooms.
Levi would be so proud if he could see with how much vigour Eren attacked the dirty rooms.
In all those weeks of living in the house, however, he hadn't encountered one neighbour at all and soon he found himself bored out of his mind, the desire to talk to someone growing steadily.
And then one day – he had been living in the house for a month – he found himself talking to it, caught himself telling stories about the pranks he had pulled when he was a kid; the arguments he had got into with Jean. The fact that he missed his friends dearly; missed Armin's laugh and Mikasa's gentle presence. Hell, he even missed her fussing, found himself longing for it at times.
Anything just to remind himself that he wasn't truly alone.
The first time he caught himself talking to it, he had abruptly stopped cleaning the counter and had stared in the distance for a while; the rushing of his blood too loud in his ears. He had remained silent for the rest of the day; a disconcerting feeling falling over him.
He had resolved not to think about it, had refused to consider what talking to it meant.
Then he woke up suddenly on a late August night, wondering what the hell had shaken him from his sleep. The odd, fluttery sensation in his stomach was his answer and he had buried his face into his pillow, ignoring the fluttery movements that popped up a few more times before it disappeared again.
But as more days passed, as his stomach grew bigger and heavier, as the fluttery movements became firm kicks and pushes against his vulnerable organs, Eren came to realise that ignoring it would no longer work.
"This is so fucked up," Eren sighed, watching wearily how a small foot – or wait, maybe that was a fist – pressed back against his thumb. It had been raining all day and he was spending it lounging on the couch, trying to figure out just what the hell he was going to do.
His old clothes no longer fit him; his belly having become too big for the material to wear them comfortably. He could no longer ignore it; soon it was going to be born and what was he going to do then? Dump it somewhere? Travel deeper into the village and drop it in front of a house?
No matter how much he hated the situation he was in, he knew that his conscience wouldn't let him abandon the tiny thing growing inside of him.
If he couldn't abandon it, what was there left to do? If he kept it and he could return to the walls one day – what would happen then?
How would he react?
"Fuck," he muttered, dropping his head on the back of the couch, laying an arm over his face.
If his cheeks felt wet a little while later, well, he was good at ignoring things.
'It' turned out to be a boy. A small, fragile little thing with a tuft of black hair and dark blue eyes. Eren remembered his mother once saying that the eyes of a baby changed colour after a few days. He caught himself wondering whether the boy would have his eyes or Levi's.
The baby boy – red, filthy, covered with fluids that Eren didn't even want to think about – squirmed and wailed sharply, scrunching up his already wrinkled face.
Shaking, blood covered hands lowered the baby on the bed and his vision blurred, agonising pain radiating from his stomach to the rest of his body. The contractions had started hours ago and when they were barely five minutes apart, he had started to cut his stomach open, a piece of wood clenched between his teeth to muffle the sound of his screams, as he cut through skin, muscles and tissue; digging around, feeling the slickness of his organs as he cut open the womb, fighting to stay conscious. He had lost his grip on the knife several times; his skin constantly trying to knit itself back together as he struggled to get it out of him as soon as possible.
Nearly his entire bed was coloured red with his own blood and he dragged himself up, leaning heavily against the wall as his stomach slowly healed, his body knitting itself back together; a strange hollow sensation where his stomach was supposed to be.
It was over now.
It was no longer inside of him.
He was done.
A low whine escaped the boy and Eren forced himself to open his eyes, staring dazedly at the squirming baby next to him.
"I suppose you're not bad," he muttered exhausted and the corners of his lips twitched weakly as an old memory resurfaced; his heart clenching. "Yeah, not bad."
Weird didn't even start to describe Eren's life now that the baby was born. He didn't even have the faintest clue as to what the fuck he was supposed to do now with the squirming, wailing thing. Right after placing the baby on the bed after he had finished cutting it out of him, he had lost consciousness; the hours of blinding and mind numbing pain catching up to him. It was a miracle the boy hadn't fallen off the bed by the time Eren groggily woke up again.
He had thrown the bloodied sheets away; there was no saving those and he had thought he would be sick if he had to look at them a minute longer. He had cleaned himself and the baby in the sink, watching blankly how mucus and blood peeled off the baby's skin until only smooth paleness was left behind. The boy had been oddly silent the entire time, as if he had sensed that Eren wasn't completely there.
Next he had clumsily fashioned some baby clothes out of the pile he had stuffed in the wardrobe and had cut some cloth diapers out of some old but clean towels. It was only when the boy had been completely dressed for the first time that he opened his mouth and wailed loudly, the sound piercing through Eren's skull until he realised that the baby was probably hungry.
By a stroke of luck he had discovered two cows aimlessly wandering around near the edge of the forest a month ago and he had succeeded in coaxing them into the patch of fenced off land right behind his garden. Remembering that babies needed milk, he had poured some milk in a bottle and put that in a pan of water on the stove in order to warm it up.
It was when he was holding the bottle against the tiny, rose bud like mouth, watching how the baby hungrily and loudly sucked from the rubber nipple – Eren still didn't know whether to be grateful or annoyed at having found the rubber nipples in his bag – that he realised that he had absolutely no clue where to go from here.
The baby was here now; no longer contained and hidden in his stomach. What was he going to do now? He could still leave it behind at some doorstep, he supposed. It wasn't like anyone would know where the baby came from and he lived far enough not to be bothered by any questions that would arise. It wasn't like he had been looking forward to the baby either; he had considered it a parasite to be honest and he should be relieved now that it was finally out of him. However …
Days blended seamlessly together and Eren found his routine of the past few months being broken by the new addition in the household. He didn't have time anymore to leisurely clean or tend to his garden or even walk around in the woods. Instead he had to take care of a baby he had never envisioned he would have: he had to feed it warm milk multiple times a day, taking care not to make it too hot and to let the baby burp after each meal; he had to change his diapers – far too much for his liking; how the hell was the baby capable of producing so much shit? – and change his clothes; had to wash him while making sure he didn't slip and drown.
He could handle the feeding and the changing diapers part. He had a hell of a lot more trouble dealing with the baby's crying. At first he barely touched the baby; only picking him up when he needed to be fed or cleaned. Holding the baby against his chest felt weird, making his skin almost crawl as he watched how small hands gripped his shirt tightly as the baby drank his milk; dark green grey eyes looking solemnly back at him. It made his stomach churn and he was always quick to place the baby back on the bed once he had burped.
Annoyingly, the baby wanted to be held; wanted to be cuddled, wanted his attention and for the first few weeks Eren could barely handle looking at the kid, only making sure that the baby was clean and wouldn't starve. He had tried to ignore the crying, even going outside when the wailing became particularly strong.
For the first few weeks he managed to ignore most of the crying. But then one day there was a change in the crying, a hitch that hadn't been there before and it made Eren freeze in his task of cutting potatoes for his dinner. The crying lowered in volume, an occasional hiccup coming through, but Eren was struck by the way it sounded, becoming cold over his whole body as he recognised the tone of the crying. He had heard children crying like that before, back in the walls before he had been old enough to start his training.
It was the pitiful sound of a child who had been abandoned, who felt alone, cast aside.
Before he realised what he was doing, he was standing in front of the baby boy, who whimpered and at seeing Eren frozen held out his arms, waving them desperately through the air as he whined lowly; his eyes begging for the older man to pick him up, to hold him close.
To show him the love he was unconsciously craving.
"I'm sorry," Eren whispered and slowly sank down, his knees hitting the wooden floor, as he grabbed the baby from the couch and held him against his chest, small fists gripping his shirt desperately as the baby tilted his face towards him, still crying softly. "I'm so sorry that you had to be stuck with me," he murmured, closing his eyes in shame.
He couldn't go on like this; they couldn't go on like this.
"I promise it will get better," he muttered, stroking the baby's cheek with a trembling finger; his heart squeezing together with something he wasn't brave enough yet to analyse. "I swear I'll get better. I don't know when, but I promise … I'm going to try."
The baby gurgled, calming down now that he wasn't being shunned anymore. The tears eventually stopped and the cries softened into a hushed whimpering. Eren felt a lump in his throat. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, the soft scent of the baby's head flooding his senses.
Things changed after that day. For good.
If he gathered the crops now, he would be finished with it before the clouds would break. Somewhere in the distance, thunder rumbled and he grimaced, nodding. Yeah, he would have to hurry, it seemed.
Small footsteps pitter-pattered over the path, nearing him and he straightened up.
"Papa?"
He turned around curiously. "What, Derren?"
His four year old son – fuck, it still sounded so odd when he thought about it – bit his lip; his green eyes with grey specks glinting. "Someone is coming here," he answered hushed; eyes wide as he turned his head. He was still a frail thing and oddly clumsy, but in all those years Eren hadn't discovered anything close to a titan in the boy.
It appeared that the Court had been wrong about the baby – imagine that.
"Who is coming?" he inquired, quirking an eyebrow. They hadn't had a visitor since Mikasa and Armin stopped by three months ago on their way back from a mission close by. Derren had soaked up their attention and small trinkets in the form of gifts like a sponge like he always did, begging them to come again soon.
The mysterious visitor couldn't be them – Eren would have heard Derren squealing if that had been the case.
"I know you've been living in this godforsaken hole practically on your own, but really, brat, locks can be very useful," a painfully familiar voice piped up from the direction of the house and Eren nearly strained a muscle when he whipped his head around.
He took a step forwards, his gaze drinking in the sight of the dark haired man leaning against the doorframe, scowling.
"Levi? What – what are you doing here?" Eren asked; his voice higher pitched than it had been in years, shock making him feel faint.
He hadn't seen the man in nearly five years; hadn't even heard anything about him as Mikasa and Armin remained quiet and Eren didn't feel brave enough to ask.
"Got whacked to the ground one time too many." Levi shrugged and only now took Eren notice of the bandage wrapped around Levi's left leg.
Grey eyes slowly wandered across the garden before they fell on Derren, who blinked and cocked his head. "They were gracious enough to let me retire." A sneer coloured his voice and he limped forwards, approaching Eren slowly.
There were barely a few inches left between them when Levi halted and continued, "I figured it was time to find a real home. I've been living in offices for way too long."
"No instructing the new recruits?" Eren asked lightly, unconsciously taking a step closer. "Who will teach them the proper way to clean then?"
"The shits can figure it out on their own," Levi snorted and the corners of his mouth twitched.
A chuckle escaped the brunette before he could stop himself and he placed a hand on Derren's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Levi, this is Derren," he paused. "My son. Derren, this is Captain Levi."
"Not a captain anymore," Levi snorted again while Derren exclaimed, "Papa told me a lot about you!"
Eren's cheeks heated up when grey eyes landed on him; a speculating look crossing them. "Is that so?" Levi drawled, sounding amused. "Well, why don't you tell me what your papa said?"
He didn't have to say that twice. Derren immediately launched into his story, gesturing wildly with his arms whenever he wanted to stress something.
They made an odd picture, Eren realised. He had never expected to see Levi again, hadn't assumed there was even a small chance of the man popping up one day, back into his life. Or well, their lives.
But he was here now to stay and Eren found that he didn't mind that prospect.
It wasn't what he had envisioned for himself, but there were worse ways to live his life, he supposed. He had more than he ever thought he would have now; that would have to be enough.
He had said goodbye to his old life a long time ago – now it was time to fully embrace his new life.
Silver met green and Eren smiled.
Life was good.
AN2: Keeping Eren and Levi in character as much as possible with this particular theme was quite difficult - more difficult than I anticipated - but I hope I didn't screw up too much *sweatdrops*
Please leave your thoughts behind in a review; should you spot any mistakes, please point them out to me.
Cuddles
Melissa
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And So It Ends