Brittle Innocence

Chapter 2


Lotor forced himself to catch some sleep as his ship sped towards the meeting place. He had four hours before he arrived and he wanted to be in better shape than he was now. Countless days of little to no sleep had worn him down, until he was little more than a shadow of the man he’d once been. Not that anyone else cared, but he did. It would feel good to be able to get full nights rest. It would feel even better now that he wasn’t under the vise-like pressure he’d been under in his father’s court.

Soon his eyes closed and his body slackened as sleep claimed him as her own once more. The tension that had been apparent to everyone but him slowly drained away, leaving him looking much like what he truly was at heart. In the end he was only a teenaged boy, who had no idea of what life was like. He, unlike most teens though, had only been exposed to pain, neglect, abuse, and ridicule.

Sleep, merciful mistress that she was, stripped away the masks he hid himself behind, revealing the brittle innocence that remained. Even then, he still frowned slightly, as if from some slight pain. This was how the spy found him, in his exhaustion the Prince had forgot to set an alarm to wake himself before he arrived at the coordinates for the meeting.

Shade was the best spy in the Denubian Galaxy. Had been for the past fifteen years. He bought and sold secrets and sabotage. No one knew who he really was, or what exactly he had done. People nosy enough to attempt to gain information on him tended to disappear. Those who employed his services did so under his terms. No one ever got to see his face. It was said he’d betray anyone if the price were right. That wasn’t far from the truth. He had almost nothing left to lose.

Twenty years ago, a lifetime ago, the man named Nathan Leese had everything. He’d just finished his training at Earth Academy and had headed out to his new post in the Denubian Galaxy with his parents, older brother, and twin sister. His enlistment had ensured his family a rather large land grant on the newest colony world, Orbal. Life couldn’t have been better. Nothing, it seemed, could go wrong.

Then Zarkon’s forces had attacked his new world, destroyed the garrison he’d been posted at, ravaged the colony itself, rounded up the colonists to be slaves, and left him for dead. Only four of the soldiers posted at the garrison survived the attack. He’d been one of them. It took them a year to rebuild enough to have a ship that could get them off-planet.

The others planned to return to Earth, Nathan didn’t. His parents were dead, and his sister and brother missing. He couldn’t leave them behind; he had to find out if he could find them. His companions had called him a fool and told him he’d be dead by the end of the year for trying to take on Zarkon by himself. He\'d asked them if they wanted to come with him then, but they left him in some spaceport they had stopped at for refueling.

He’d stolen a ship and set off to find out what he could. Part of him had known they were right, so he never took on Zarkon directly. He slowly erased his own existence from everyone’s memory. Hid his identity behind a black helm with a blank faceplate. Started using every ounce of the training he’d received in the academy as a military specialist. Over the next few years he managed to pick up enough information and experience to be considered one of the best spies out there.

His call name became Shade. It suited him well enough; he’d become a dark shadow of what he could have been. With his twin gone, he felt like no more than a ghost of himself; his services were in demand. His price was high. He had a reputation. Within four years of the destruction of Orbal, Zarkon came to him.

By that time Shade knew he was too late, he’d felt the bond he shared with his twin sever. He knew by now she was dead. He agreed to work for the ruler of Doom, however, and made him pay ten times what he normally charged. During his brief forays to the King’s court he used his skills to find out what had become of his sister and brother. He was less than happy with the information.

His older brother had offered his sister to the King himself as a show of loyalty, and had been granted his freedom and a position on the King’s court as a reward. Mitch had done well for himself. He was happy as could be with a wife, a son, and now a small kingdom granted to him by Zarkon to rule. Emelle, however, had been taken to the bastard King’s harem, raped repeatedly, forced to bear him a child, and then executed for trying to care for her son.

Every chance he had to do a Job for Zarkon, Shade took. Every time looking for any way he could find to remove Emelle’s son from that hellhole. But the security was just too tight around the boy for him to get him out. Instead he was forced to watch from a distance, as the boy was raised by a monster. He avoided the witch, refusing any jobs she offered. Something in his gut told him she was the most dangerous fixture in that court.

He despised the whispers she filled the ruler with about the boy’s inadequacies. All he could do was watch and wait. He even ignored his desire for revenge against his brother, lest it make the black-hearted King and his thrice-damned witch wonder. He got to see the child grow into a lonely, vicious youth. Then the boy was sent away to school. Shade began refusing most other assignments so that he could focus his attentions on the young Lotor and the court on Doom.

Seeing the youth mature he began to despair. The Prince seemed to be doing his best to be just like his father if not even more ruthless. I’ll give him till he’s twenty, decided the spy, and if there seems to be no hope by then I can at least give him a merciful death for Emelle. Once the prince graduated and began soldiering Shade broke his own rule and went to a potential customer. He used the excuse that jobs had been slow, but he could see there was business potential with Lotor.

The boy was sharp, the spy admitted to himself. He had demanded to know why he should hire the most expensive spy in the galaxy. He’d told him the best commander in the galaxy deserved more than to have second rate information and the boy had blushed. The spy had stored this little bit of information away, even as he was listening to the Prince accept his offer.

For the past fourteen years, Shade had known everything that happened on Doom. Contrary to what he had told Lotor, he was quite wealthy from the work he had done. He kept his own informants in the palace well paid.

He finally got his chance to save Emelle’s son, but this was going to be a one shot deal. If the Prince wouldn’t take his words to heart, the spy was as good as dead, his cover blown. He hoped the boy was worth the effort. At least he had some hope now.

Nathan had seen it coming, as soon as Zarkon ordered the boy back home to deal with Voltron. Eventually the Prince would demand information on the pilots, and if he was his usual thorough self information on their culture as well. The irony of it was, their culture was Lotor’s own birthright. Maybe it could make him see things with different eyes. Shade had worried that it wouldn’t be enough to change anything. Now, considering the information he’d received from one of his best informants on Doom, it just might be enough when added to Zarkon and Haggar’s latest scheme. He had to work quickly though; there wasn’t much time.

The chirp of the communications unit awakened Lotor. He wearily opened his eyes to see the expressionless mask that his favorite spy always wore. Startled, he almost fell from his seat.

Shade growled to himself. There was little time for this. Best start this dance quickly, and hope for a miracle. “I have your information. Dock your ship, I’ll meet you in the hanger.” He closed the channel and headed from the rat’s nest of wires and circuit boards that could possibly be conceived to be a bridge. Pausing long enough to set his defenses on auto. Set to fire on anything that entered the area, and to sound the ships\' alarm to inform him of intruders.

“What?” The Prince started to ask, as the transmission was cut. This was not how things normally went. Then he saw the ship. His eyes widened, this wasn’t anything he’d imagined his spy as having. It was originally a cargo vessel of some kind. It had had some major modifications though. Almost the entire boxy exterior was bristling with weaponry. A good portion of it had been trained on him as well. It looked like a one-ship war waiting to happen.

Puzzled by his employee’s odd behavior and choice of transport Lotor prepared his sleek fighter to dock in the one hanger of the miniature war machine before him. He hoped that his spy wasn’t planning to betray him. He’d hate to have to eliminate such a good source of information.

He managed to squeeze his fighter between the other two ships in the hanger. One he was familiar with as the spy Shade’s personal ship, he’d never seen anything like the other before today. He maneuvered himself through the cramped confines of his fighter and disembarked onto the deck.

The new ship was exquisite, small and sleek. She even looked fast. He reached out to touch the gleaming black hull in admiration and more than a little envy. He’d been lucky his father had granted him as nice a ship as he had, but seeing this little beauty made him feel like he’d been given little more than a piece of junk. He startled when he heard the voice come from behind him.

“She’s the fastest ship in both the near and far galaxies.” Shade informed the enraptured Prince, “ Most maneuverable too, with the extra fuel reserves she carries there’s almost nothing that stands a chance of catching her.”

Lotor frowned to himself, he’d slipped and shown how he felt about something again. He masked his emotions and turned to face the spy asking, “Where is the information I requested?”

“Where is the payment?” the spy countered.

Lotor handed over the case he’d been carrying, and waited impatiently while it was quickly counted. “10 million credits, as per our agreement. I trust you found it in order?” He questioned in a bored tone when the case had been snapped shut.

“Yes,” Shade said, placing the case beside another smaller one, reopening it and placing half of the credits inside.

The Prince waited, annoyed at the delay. He wanted nothing more than to get his information so he could begin planning. The spy’s next words however, shattered his world around him.

“I’m glad to see you decided to investigate the other half of your heritage.” Shade watched the boy carefully; this was going to be one of the most dangerous moments for him.

Shock stunned Lotor speechless for a minute, then rage at what he thought was a rude assumption about his lineage loosened his tongue. “ How dare you insinuate that I, Lotor, the Prince of Doom, am in any way related to humans. Do you not value your life?” He’d flushed almost purple from his ill-contained fury. His hand strayed toward the laser sword on his belt.

It seemed like the blaster just appeared in the spy’s hand and fired. The Prince had good reflexes that Shade admitted, just not good enough. Lotor had tried to dodge for cover but years of training had made the spy into a vicious opponent. Bits of laser sword exploded all over the deck, and the boy himself was rolling across the plates, clutching his hip.

Lotor’s mind was spinning at this apparent betrayal. He tried to move and find cover, but it was all he could do to try and drag himself along. His hip was in agony from the explosion, and he could feel blood welling out under his hand. He looked back at Shade expecting the end.

The spy, Shade, gazed impassively down at the injured prince. With his gun still trained, he answered the questions the Prince had demanded in his rage, “I value my life very much, little boy, I have a great deal of revenge to extract against Zarkon for what he did to my planet, my family, my twin sister, and her son. I don’t live for myself, I live to avenge them; to salvage what can be salvaged, and give quick death to what cannot. I said that you were half-human because you are. Your mother was a human.”

The boy’s face twisted with angry denial as he screamed back at the man, “You’re lying!!” He tried to bargain with the hunter that had trapped him so efficiently, “If you think that killing me will cause my father pain you’re sadly mistaken. He cares nothing for me. And if you think you can hold me for ransom that wont work either.”

Shade’s chuckling interrupted the Prince’s tirade, “I have no intention of giving you back to Zarkon, believe me I know all to well how little he cares for you, even better than you do. I am the best in my field, and I’ve made it a point to know everything that happens in that castle. Especially everything that happens to you!”

Lotor tried to comprehend what the man wanted. Revenge? His heart sank, “You’re just going to kill me aren’t you.”

The words were almost too soft to hear, “Not if I don’t have to.”

The young man studied the floor near his face, looking into the tangled white hair that covered it; he didn’t want him for money or to kill. He had to figure out what this man’s motive was. He looked up, confused, “Why are you doing this then?” He winced inwardly, his voice was trembling and he couldn’t hide it.


Shade didn’t say anything; instead he pulled off the mask Lotor had always known him by. Straight pale blond hair was pulled back from a face with high cheekbones and haunted green eyes stared at him from the fair skin of the man’s face. He looked a bit like the Prince; the other person he looked more like made the boy’s heart twist inside of him. More than Allura ever could, he looked like the woman Lotor kept trying to reach in his dreams. It hurt, worse than anything in his waking life had.

“You, look so much like her…why…they never let me touch her. I only wanted to hold her.” The boy tried to explain, not realizing his arm was reaching for the man, or that tears were running down his face.

Nathan couldn’t stop himself from grabbing the hand of the lost soul in front of him, he knew he was risking a lot, that Lotor might not be able to accept the truth yet, but he couldn’t let him hurt like this. Lotor’s other hand reached out to touch his face. “Why?” He asked. His mind was lost from rational thought, it felt as if everything he’d ever been told was true had been some horrible lie and he needed to know, “Why?” urgently.

“She was your mother, my sister. I’m your uncle. You’re the only family I’ve got, the reason I kept living.” Shade struggled with himself, facing long buried demons. “She loved you, so much, and despised Zarkon. You loved her too, and your father couldn’t stand for you to have that; couldn’t stand for you to have something he’d never get. So he tried to keep you from her ‘til you both doted on him, when that didn’t work, he killed her. And it took me too long to escape the planet he’d left me on and she was dead before I could get to her, and he guarded you so close I couldn’t get you out of there either. So I did whatever it took to stay nearby, to at least watch. I knew she’d want me to look after her boy.” He was crying now, too.

Mother, Lotor thought. Suddenly it all made too much sense. His father’s hate; the nightmares; the loneliness. Suddenly his eyes snapped open, full of rage. “I’ll kill him!” He tried to stand, and fell hissing in pain, glaring at his hip.

“Not a chance,” Nathan told him firmly.

“Don’t even try and stop me, he took the one person who cared about me away.” The prince was working himself into a fine fury.

“No, you’re injured and I have to treat that. Besides, going back there right now isn’t an option for you.” Nathan prayed he had enough time to get the boy going before the ro-beast found them. He retrieved a first aid kit, and tore open the leg of Lotor’s uniform so he could work on the burn. “Lie still.”

“I’m not going to let him live any longer.” The Prince winced as Shade treated the wound with cold efficiency.

“You don’t have that option now, he and his witch have set a ro-beast on you. They’ve been working on this plan since before you returned. I wasn’t able to find out about it ‘til they were about to launch the thing.” The boy’s newfound uncle warned him.

“I’ve handled ro-beast’s before.” Lotor said confidently.

“Not like this one, it could conceivably take down Voltron itself. As I said before they’ve spent over half a year making this thing. They wanted to make sure you were dead.”

This gave the Prince pause, “If it could take down Voltron why are they sending it after me and not the enemy?”

Shade shook his head as the finished bandaging the wound, which had not been as bad as either had thought, “Arrogance, Voltron isn’t a threat to the throne at the moment, so they think they have time a plenty to build another ro-beast. Cost is another factor; they’d rather spend money to prevent a possible coup than to save their soldiers lives. Humans used to be like that…oh, about 4000 years ago. We grew out of that, thankfully about the time we achieved space technology.”

He took Lotor’s chin in his hand and turned the boy to face him, “But I don’t have time to be giving you a history lesson. Every second we waste that ro-beast’s getting closer. I’ve given you the information you wanted and a hell of a lot more. It’s all on board that little beauty you admired when you got here,”

He pressed a key into the Prince’s hand. “She’s yours. I want you to get out of here and run, hopefully the ro-beast’s tracking your ship and will come after me. If it’s tracking you, well, she’s got the best chance to save your ass. I’ll be behind and try and cripple that thing as much as I can.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m tough, I’ll get out of this alive. I want you to get out alive too, though. You’ll need to get as far as you can and find a place to lay low. Let them think you’re dead for a while. It’ll give you a chance to go over that stuff you wanted, even if you still plan on using it to take those pilots down. I’d much rather you use it to find out who you really are; and what you could be other than what they made you into.

“When you think you’re safe, contact me. You know how. Take this too, you’re gonna need the money, your fathers name will only get you killed out there.” He shoved the smaller case of credits into Lotor’s other hand and pushed him toward the sleek little black ship as alarms started to sound in the hanger. “Never forget your mother loved you…and I love you too.”

Overwhelmed by the rush of everything that had just happened, Lotor headed to the ship. Suddenly he stopped at its entrance and turned. There was one last thing he had to know, “What was her name?” he called out to Shade over the beat of sirens.

A dull boom rocked the larger ship, as it\'s weapons fired against some unseen adversary. Shade turned on his way out of the hanger and called back to his nephew, “Emelle, her name was Emelle. Now get the hell out of here!”

On the bridge Nathan cursed profusely as he covered the ro-beast in weapons fire. He watched as The Cat’s Meow, the little ship he’d given his nephew became a dot against the star field. Lasers weren’t effective against this thing and he’d unloaded his missiles on it straight off. None of it had accomplished much, and the thing was passing him by, to chase after the boy.

He closed his eyes for a brief second, only one thing left he could do.

Lotor watched the giant explosion envelop the ro-beast behind him as Shade’s ship barreled into it.

He tried to tell himself, he wasn’t crying.




Three weeks later


\'No telling where I am now\', thought Lotor as he pushed The Cat’s Meow as hard as she’d go. The star charts had been out for the past week. He’d gone through three galaxies to his memory, maybe more. He had slept as much as he could, and pumped his body full of stimulants when the ro-beast was too close to risk sleep. Like now.

Shade had died to save him and it didn’t even phase that damn ro-beast. Not quite accurate, he told himself. It had pissed it off. Now he had an angry, injured animal out to kill him. Every time it caught up to him, another system had failed from the damage of the ship getting knocked around before he was able to get away again. There’d been no sleep this past week. \'Blind, tired, hungry, I’m losing. It’s running me into the ground\', the former prince smiled ruefully at the irony of it. He’d once been one of the biggest predators out there, now he was little more than exhausted prey.

He winced as he tried to readjust his right arm, then winced as his whole body protested the movement. The arm was broken, he’d splinted the thing, as best he could, but wasn’t able to set the bone. He hoped it was at least a clean break. His ribs were bruised, muscles torn in his legs. He wasn’t sure but it was possible he had a concussion, he had banged his head really hard. All the more reason not to sleep.

The ship suddenly spun out of control, accompanied by a terrible screech of metal. He saw the ro-beast howl in delight as he spun by. Tried to stabilize the ship and realized the controls were out. Another swipe came towards him as he realized he was about to die, he couldn’t run anymore. The swipe connected with the terrible sound of torn metal and threw the ship in the other direction. Lotor’s safety harness snapped, sending his body to crash against the interior of the cockpit time and again.