What is this life?

What is this Life?

Chapter 30

Ryuichi is in his third week of occupational therapy and his voice is starting to come back to him. Although he isn't allowed to try and sing, since that would really strain the healing vocal cords, he is able to speak in small sentences. The therapist is asking Ryuichi to go over the alphabet again when she sees his face go totally white. Ryuichi is staring behind his therapist which causes her to turn around.

Standing in the doorway to the therapy room is Tohma Seguchi with a bouquet of assorted flowers. He enters the room and as he approaches Ryuichi he extends the flowers to Ryuichi and smiles. "How are you feeling my friend?"

Ryuichi backs his wheelchair away from the approaching interloper and almost tips his chair over in the process. He lets out a high pitched, "Get out!'

The therapist glares at Tohma and demands to know who he is. Tohma responds, "Tohma Seguchi. I am Ryu-chan's best friend."

Ryuichi glares at the man in total disbelief. He wonders how Tohma can still consider himself a "best friend" after he tried to kill Shuichi and nearly killed him in the process. Ryuichi gets angry and refutes the claim. "You're not my friend anymore. Leave me alone."

Tohma is horrified at the way Ryuichi is treating him. "Ryu-chan, it was an accident. You know I never meant to hurt you!"

Ryuichi's blue eyes turn dark, all the sparkle leaving them. Sheer hatred replaces the shine that normally is seen in those gorgeous orbs. "You tried to kill Shu-kun. It was no accident!"

The therapist gets a shocked look on her face. This man tried to kill someone else and is responsible for the current state Ryuichi is in now? She gets up and turns towards Tohma. "I suggest you leave now before I call security."

Tohma drops his arm and the flowers fall to the floor. His eyes turn from vibrant turquoise to a dull greenish blue as a tear starts to build. "Ryu?"

Ryuichi closes his eyes and points to the door, "Get out!"

Not wishing to cause his friend any more grief, Tohma slowly turns to walk away. He stops momentarily, returning his gaze to Ryuichi and says, "We will have to talk about this eventually. It's not a closed matter." With that he leaves the area.

Ryuichi's therapist turns around and faces her patient. "Are you okay, Sakuma-san? Should I get security to detain him?"

Ryuichi opens his eyes and looks at the terrified young woman. He knows what Tohma can be like and this is not the time or the place for anymore confrontations. "No, let him go."

After something as stressful as this encounter, the therapist knows there will be no more accomplished today and suggests that Ryuichi return to his room and get some rest. She calms down and smiles sweetly at her favorite patient. "We'll meet again tomorrow. You're really doing quite well. I suspect you will go home in a few more days and then we can work on an outpatient basis.” Ryuichi nods, thanks her for her kindness and waits for an aide to wheel him back to his room.


When Ryuichi gets back to his room, Hiro and Shuichi are waiting to see him. Since the therapy sessions started, Ryuichi has insisted that the others not come in to see him so early in the morning. The look on Ryuichi’s face is anything but the cheery one they expect to see this morning. “What happened, Ryu-chan? Something’s wrong, I can tell.” Shuichi frowns.

“Tohma came to see me in therapy a few minutes ago. I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up here and act like nothing happened.” Ryuichi is clearly angry about the incident. His lips are pursed and he’s biting the inside of his cheek.

Hiro is concerned, “What did he say? He didn’t try to hurt you, did he?”

Ryuichi realizes that his anger is upsetting lovers. “No, it’s okay. He just wanted to see me and be sure I was doing alright. There’s no need to worry.”

Hiro is hardly convinced about the “no need to worry” part. He sits down on a chair near to where Ryuichi’s wheelchair is parked and pulls Ryuichi close to him. “I want you to promise me that you won’t let him near you again. I don’t trust him, he’s dangerous. I still don’t understand why you wouldn’t tell the police about how the incident really happened.”

Ryuichi knows that none of his lovers can understand his motives, but they actually are based on protecting all of them. “Tohma is less of a threat if I keep him off-guard now. He knows that all I have to do is let the press know what happened – the shooting and everything leading up to it- and he’s finished. As long as I’m not talking to the authorities, I have the upper hand. He’ll stay in-line.”

Hiro shakes his head in disbelief, but he respects the wishes of his lover. If he really thinks that he can keep Tohma Seguchi in his place, no one should argue. Still, there is that slight chance Ryuichi could be wrong. “I don’t trust him. Even with the added security at the mansion now, I don’t think he will hesitate to try something else.”

Shuichi is shaky but remains silent during the exchange,. The idea of Tohma Seguchi being anywhere near the hospital or even his Ryuichi scares him and it’s obvious to Ryuichi. “I’ll take care of Tohma. He doesn’t scare me anymore, and I won’t let him hurt you or anyone else.” Ryuichi hopes he’s convincing Hiro and Shuichi. “This may end up being a blessing in disguise.”

Hiro gapes at this comment, “Blessing?”

“Yes, I may be able to use this whole incident to our advantage. Tohma wouldn’t dare do anything or say anything to Shuichi or you. I know he won’t try and hurt me. That was never his intention.” Ryuichi has a sly look on his face. “I thought the song being a duet was going to be our salvation, but I think the shooting is going to turn out to be the thing that sets us all free. Free of Tohma and free to live our lives together in peace and harmony.”

Hiro finally understands. “So, you’re going to force Seguchi-sama to back away from you?”

“No, Hiro, from us! Tohma is going to have to let me do what I have wanted for a long time. He’s going to have to let me set you free.” Ryuichi’s glint is returning to his eyes. “You and Shuichi will be free once and for all. Tohma won’t be able to stop you from leaving, from talking, from blowing his whole slave operation out of the water!”

“Ryu-chan, we already are free. We don’t want to leave, and as for the slave operation, we can’t say anything to anyone about that.” Shuichi looks thoughtfully at Ryuichi before continuing. “You’ve been part of the slave stuff, even if you didn’t intend to be. We can’t put you in jeopardy by exposing Seguchi-sama.”

Ryuichi thinks about what Shuichi says, but he doesn’t care. “If you and Hiro decide to leave or tell the world about your experiences, I won’t stop you. I’ll be fine,”

There’s a knock on the door and when Ryuichi turns around he sees Tohma standing there. “What’s this all about?” Three horrified expressions meet Tohma’s watchful glare. “Care to tell ME what you’re planning so I can prepare for it?”

Ryuichi comes out of his stupor and stands to confront Tohma once and for all. “Close the door, Tohma. It’s time we settle this matter.” Tohma enters the room, closes and locks the door. Before Tohma can do or say anything, Ryuichi ignites his internal fire and blasts Tohma. “I’ve had it with you and your intimidation and threats. As of now, I want nothing more to do with you!” Tohma stands silent as Ryuichi continues, “You are going to back off and leave me and them alone, understand me?”

Ryuichi turns to look at his stunned lovers and smiles. He’s finally able to keep the promise he made months ago to Shuichi and Hiro. He turns his attention back to Tohma, “Trying to kill Shuichi was the final straw.” Ryuichi is furious but exhilarated at the same time. “As of this moment they are free to do whatever they want! Don’t try to stop them. If you do, I’ll hold a press conference and expose you to the world. How would it be if everyone knew about the slavery and the attempted murder?”

Tohma stammers a bit, “Ryu, you wouldn’t do that. You can’t.”

Taking a deep breath he steels himself and continues. “Do you really want to risk that Tohma? As of this moment, Shuichi and Hiro are free. Don’t even think about another attempt on anyone’s life because you won’t get within 500 feet of any of us again. I am selling the mansion and moving away.” Ryuichi exhales deeply and waits for Tohma to assimilate everything he’s heard.

“Ryu, I don’t want to lose you. Please, don’t leave me.” He looks at Hiro and Shuichi who have remained quiet during the exchange. “I won’t interfere with you or them anymore, but please, don’t leave.”

Ryuichi’s heart breaks a little. He never thought the day would come that he would turn his back on his best friend but he’s had enough. Living with Tohma’s shadow always hovering near has taken its toll and he needs out. “Tohma, it’s not just them, it’s me, too. I love you and always will but I can’t live with you being a constant threat to everything I hold dear. Your hand is in everything and I won’t live like that anymore. A clear break is needed.”

Tohma tries to say something but Ryuichi just puts his hand up to stop him from talking.”It’s not up for debate. My mind is made up.”

Tohma knows he’s done some terrible things in his life; but causing the person he loves more than anyone else in the world this kind of pain is the worst. Totally defeated, he resigns himself to the fact that his own actions have caused this action. “I don’t like it and I don’t want it…..” He sighs out, “but I accept your decision.”

Tohma may have lost a battle here, but he knows in his heart that Ryuichi will eventually get over everything and forgive him. For now, he knows he has to bide his time. As he starts to leave he turns towards Hiro and Shuichi. With some typical Seguchi bite in his voice he states, “I’m doing this for him, not for you. Take care of Ryuichi for me.” With that said, he turns and unlocks the door, exiting with the knowledge that he may never see any of them again.

As the door closes, Ryuichi falls onto his knees. He’s physically and mentally exhausted. Silent tears stream down his cheeks as the impact of the events finally make their way into his heart and mind. He just told his oldest and dearest friend that he never wanted to see him again and it’s breaking his heart. He doesn’t know if he can handle a self-imposed rejection of Tohma, He thinks back on his life until now, and as a final farewell to the past he whispers, “Goodbye Tohma.”

TBC