Life After Near Death | By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 14426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure. |
"Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them but you know they are always there."
― Anonymous
Chapter 31
That's What Friends Are For
The next day, Gray woke up feeling groggy. His dreams had been filled with Natsu, both the fantasy dragon form of him and the real man. He had dreamed about probably every pleasure physically possible, and then some!
Such dreams left behind physical proof. Gray cursed that he had to wash his sheets again.
As he stripped his messy boxers and yanked off the damp sheets, Gray thought about Natsu. Now he knew for certain, the Fire Dragon Slayer wanted a relationship. Even if he said they could have pure romance without sex, he probably wanted everything Gray had dreamed about. If Natsu's kisses were any indication, then sex with Natsu would be hot, wild, and just as insanely wonderful as his dreams.
Somehow, that was not enough to convince him. Gray had dated plenty of women purely for sex, but this was different. It was Natsu! And it was a guy. That sort of sex … his dreams put a hazy censorship over those parts, just imagined concepts that it would somehow feel good. He knew how amazing it felt to thrust into something. He even had anal sex with a girl in the past who was into that sort of thing, and damn it was great! However, she had prepped herself in some weird way, and Gray had not bothered to pay attention to the details. Instead of watching what she did, he had been busy with her breasts.
He wished he knew what she did to prepare herself. He also wished he had not been drunk that night.
Who did he know who might know something about anal sex? He was not about to go to the store and buy a fag mag or gay porn video lacrima. He could probably ask Freed, except he was out of town with Laxus and his team. There was always Master Bob, but the bald guild master seriously creeped out Gray. There was also Sugarboy.
No. Just no!
Gray got ready for the day and went out, privately hoping he did not meet up with Natsu yet. It would be awkward, and he already knew that if he saw the Dragon Slayer, he would want to kiss more. Natsu's kisses were addictive. Before he could allow himself to slip into a physical relationship, Gray knew he had to think about this carefully. It was not like hooking up with some random girlfriend. This relationship, him and Natsu, could affect the entire guild. Plus it changed a lot about Gray himself: his sexuality. He still felt he was not gay. Bisexual? Something else? He did not know, and that lack of self-awareness left him hesitant and daunted.
How could he leap into a relationship without knowing what was in his own heart?
If they could just keep it to kissing … but that rarely lasted. Kissing led to touching. Touching led to groping. Groping led to hand jobs and oral sex. And that led to wanting more sex. And more! How long could he hold back to just kisses and touches? A month? Maybe six months? A year if he really tortured himself. Eventually, he would want to live out those dreams.
No … already he wanted them!
As he approached the guild, he saw Loke walking out while rubbing a red hand print on his cheek.
"What did you do this time?" Gray called out.
Loke jolted as he realized Gray was coming up. "Oh, hey! This?" He pointed to his swollen cheek and laughed awkwardly. "I flirted with some new girl and Lucy got mad."
"Serves you right."
"Flirting is fun, though. I mean, you like hearing someone compliment you, right?"
Gray thought about yesterday. "Hey, um … do you want more? Just kissing? You're a really good kisser." Hearing Natsu say that made Gray's heart race, and remembering it made his cheeks blush.
"Oh?" Loke smirked, picking up on the change. "Did something good happened lately? A new girlfriend? Who's the lucky lady?"
Gray cringed. Of course, everyone would first assume it was a woman. "It's … complicated." Damn, that made him sound lame! "Loke, can I ask you something about relationships? Something rather out of the ordinary?"
"Absolutely," the ginger grinned. "I am a love expert. Ask me anything. I won't judge."
Gray still hesitated and worried his lip before speaking softly. "What if you're … confused about things? You're not sure what you like anymore. Everything gets turned on its head, and women … maybe … you don't think of them the same way anymore. Or you're not sure. You want to do … stuff … this-and-that … but what the other person wants—how they want it—it'll … um … hurt. You've never done it that way before, and … and you're not sure if that's something you want. You're not sure if you're into … um … that."
Loke nodded solemnly. "I know the feeling. I have to admit," he said with a blush, "I might have … experimented a few times in the past. Maybe more than just a few times. It's nothing to be ashamed about, you know."
"I … I know, but still," Gray muttered. "When people find out, I know there will be teasing involved. Maybe worse."
"You don't have to tell people the details."
"They'll find out," Gray sighed.
"Maybe so, and maybe they won't understand, some might even harass you for going against the social norm, but in the end, does that matter? If you're truly in love, it shouldn't."
Gray forehead wrinkled. "I'm not sure if I'm in love yet."
"Are you dating?"
He shook his head. "Not yet. I said I had to think about it first."
Loke looked thoughtful. "Changing how we enjoy pleasure can be intimidating. What they want, is it something you've done before?"
"To someone else, someone who was into that," he answered. "I never … I mean … I haven't … myself … um … I've never been on the receiving end."
"I see." Loke patted Gray's back encouragingly. "There's a place I go to. They can help you. You can learn about all sorts of things without anyone thinking badly of you, even things like … that."
Gray looked relieved. Of course, Loke was a Celestial Spirit, he was ancient even if he looked young, he would know who he could turn to, maybe a support group for men discovering their sexuality.
Loke waved him forward, and Gray followed eagerly. He had to admit, a part of him was nervous. He was not sure if he could really talk about these awakening desires with someone else.
He realized Loke might have the wrong idea as they approached, not some clinic or support group, but a strip club.
"Loke?"
"I know it's not much to look at on the outside, but trust me. Everything you need to know is in here," Loke assured him.
Gray gave a groan and followed anyway. Sure enough, when they opened the door there was pounding music, scattered tables, a stage, a brass pole, and a dancer wearing nearly nothing.
"It's a strip club," Gray said flatly.
"Of course it is," the Lion grinned, and Gray scoffed in disgust. "Come on! Haven't you ever been in one of these before?"
Gray pouted but admitted, "Maybe one or two."
Loke pulled him in to a booth. "Let me buy you a drink, you can loosen up, ask these girls if one of them caters to whatever freaky kink you're into," he said, winking naughtily.
"They wouldn't be into that," Gray muttered. He watched as the girl on stage whipped off her top just as she bowed her spine backward until her head nearly touched the floor. Okay, so she was good. And hot! He had been so obsessed with Natsu, Gray had stopped admiring women like he used to.
"When was the last time you got laid?" asked Loke.
Gray let out a soft grunt. "Way too long."
"Exactly! So come on, my treat. That's what friends are for. Let's hang out like old times. Maybe you'll get lucky and one of these girls will take an interest in you, give you a little extra attention."
Gray widely shrugged his shoulders. "Whatever."
Maybe what he needed was to stop over-thinking things. He figured it was fine to do some harmless watching, have a few drinks, and maybe he could sneak in a few carefully worded questions to Loke. It was better than brooding at home or torturing himself by sitting in the guild hall with Natsu in the same room.
Their drinks arrived, and a new dancer was up. Two ladies began to circle the floor, caressing the few men sitting around at this early hour.
"You should see this place at night," Loke said as he eyed a blonde. "It gets packed. You're lucky to get any attention at all. The Pussy Palace is the best strip club in Magnolia."
Gray paused while sipping his drink. Pussy Palace? That name was familiar.
"Oh wow. She came out!" Loke whispered.
She? Gray saw another woman step forward, her stride refined, her black hair swinging with each sway of her hips. The men in the room ignored the other girls when she entered. She instantly captivated everyone. Although she was dressed like some sexy secretary and the other women were nearly naked in lingerie, this lady had a sensuality to her that went beyond her body. Gray gulped hard when her eyes focused straight on him.
"You," he whispered dryly.
She stopped in front of him and smiled down. "Welcome to my palace, Gray-dear."
"You're that girl, the one with Natsu," he glared.
Her red lips twisted up in amusement. "Rei-chan, head girl around here and co-owner of this establishment. You caught me on a day when I'm here for business and not to give pleasure, otherwise…" She eyed him up and down. "…I could certainly show you a thing or two."
He said nothing and glared coldly at her.
"I haven't see Natsu-dear in ages. How is he doing?"
Gray looked away peevishly. "Hell if I know."
"Aww. Did you two have a fight?"
Gray's brow tensed.
"Or maybe," she smiled cunningly, "something else happened between you two. How about you tell me all about it?" She sat down beside him so close, their thighs touched. "I can listen to all of your troubles. Maybe," and she began to massage his shoulders, "I can relieve some of this stress that has you all up in knots."
Gray shrugged away in disgust. "Look lady, no offense, but I don't want the girl Natsu was fucking."
"I never had sex with him."
"You…!" He had begun to raise his voice, but he realized everyone in the club had their eyes on him and Rei-chan, although mostly on her. Gray took a deep breath to calm himself and dropped his voice to be lost under the blasting music. "You were giving him blow jobs, right?"
She tilted her head to the side as if debating if he was ready to be told the truth. "I may have given him one or two," she said cautiously.
"What else were you doing to him to … to teach him? I know it had to be more than just training him how to kiss that good."
She grinned happily. "Then you've experienced it. He's an incredible kisser, isn't he?"
"Shut- …" Gray caught himself again and slammed his mouth closed before he shouted at her.
She snickered in victory. She had the advantage here in her own establishment, and she knew it. Gray saw one of the bouncers glaring right at him, and Loke was thoroughly distracted by the blonde who was now sitting in his lap and playing with his tie. Gray was on his own, and he could not do anything to get rid of Rei-chan or stop her wiliness.
"Now," she said, walking her fingers up Gray's arm, taking her time with her victory. "How about you tell me all about it?"
Gray rolled his eyes. "We were fighting, it got awkward, he kissed me, then he suddenly left for a few days. When he came back, it got more awkward, we got into a fight, I kissed him, he kissed me back, a building collapsed, we ran off, we kissed some more, and I told him to give me three days to think about it."
Rei-chan's eyebrow arched up at the collapsed building part. My, what rigorous love Natsu must have shown him! She could absolutely imagine it.
"So," Gray snapped quietly, "what happened between you two?"
She began to list on her fingers. "I taught him kissing, sweet-talking, how to go on a date, how to honor his partner, what not to do in a courtship—which was quite a lot to teach him—and I prepared him for when he was ready to confess his love to you."
"To me?" he said faintly.
"Is it that hard to believe, or that challenging to accept?" She leaned into his ear. "I can tell, Gray-dear. You find women sexually appealing, but you've probably never been able to fall in love with one. Now you find yourself in love with a man you don't particularly find sexually appealing, not like you're used to with ogling breasts and hips, and you're left wondering if you've ever been straight from the beginning, or if it's only been about sexual gratification this whole time."
She pulled back and saw him glaring at her silently, not denying it, not willing to admit it.
"May I be so bold as to propose a different possibility?" she said lightly, and she leaned into his ear again. "Maybe you can't fall in love until you look past the body and look at the soul. You can't love until you know the person as deeply as you know yourself. You probably fuck strangers but can't have sex with people you really do know, because you know them, and you know you're not in love with them. It's a big difference, knowing a person, caring for them, yet being certain it's not love, compared to not knowing and not caring and keeping it to a mere physical need, not an emotional outlet."
Gray lost his breath as he realized she had hit it dead on. It was something he never realized himself, but once she said it, he knew immediately, that was his problem. That was why he had been able to sleep with those two girls up north and it meant nothing, two nameless girls whom he had used because his body needed sex. Yet he had dated Juvia for months and never even touched her intimately. He knew from the start, he was not in love with Juvia, but he assumed love could grow. Instead, it was merely friendship, that was all it would ever be, and he could not sully that bond with her by using her body like his random girlfriends.
"Now," Rei-chan went on, "here's a person of the same sex, but it's different. You fell in love. Isn't that true, Gray-dear?"
Was that it? Was he honestly in love?
She eyed him keenly. "Have you ever been in love?"
Seriously, this woman was scary!
She pouted and rubbed her thumb over his tensed forehead. "Your poor brow is going to have lines on it when you're older." She tried to smooth out the pinch between his eyebrows.
Gray looked up at her coldly. "Don't touch me," he hissed.
She clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Awww. Jealous?" She chuckled as his eyes narrowed more, and she leaned right up into his face. "Are you jealous that I got to taste him first?"
"You bi-…!" He sucked back the shout, but not before the bouncer stepped up to their booth and Loke jolted out of the banal conversation he was having with the blonde.
"Gray?" he asked in concern.
"It's nothing," he grumbled, looking away from Rei-chan, Loke, the bouncer, and everyone else.
Rei-chan chuckled and pulled on his shoulder. "Maybe we should take a back room, get away from everyone else. I'm sure you want to yell at me, and you can't really do that around here; the bouncers don't like it." She smiled up to the burly man in black and nodded to him that she was okay.
Gray tensed his fist. He felt like this was one of the things holding him back from fully accepting Natsu, this jealousy about Rei-chan, the other stripper in Natsu's life. If it had been some random girlfriend, Gray would have had no problems, but the fact that it was a professional, someone this beautiful, and a woman who could get under his skin so easily and see through him as if his cold exterior was clear ice … that bothered Gray.
Besides, she was good. Maybe she could help. She had helped Natsu. He would never ask for physical assistance, but just talking, discussing things, like what she meant about him being unable to fall in love unless he knew the person, and that sex had nothing to do with it except for when it came to people he cared for … was this a thing? Was it common?
"How much?" he seethed, feeling dirty just for accepting her offer.
"For you?" She smiled cunningly. "Let's make it an introductory special for our new customer. Three thousand Jewels. I'll tell you everything I know."
Three thousand was cheap for a private room, even Gray knew that and he had only gone to strip clubs twice when others dragged him there. To find out more about Natsu, it was worth the cost.
"Fine," he sneered.
Rei-chan giggled at his surly attitude and immediately stood up. "Prepare my special room," she told the bouncer. "I believe our new customer here would like ice wine. Am I wrong?"
Gray scoffed softly. "You sure as hell seem to be right about me on everything else."
"It's my special talent," she smiled.
Loke's attention was again taken off the blonde when Gray slid out of the bench. "Hey! Are you going with her?" he asked, grinning at Rei-chan.
Gray shrugged apathetically. "Seems like it."
"Good choice. Take it easy on him, Rei-chan."
"Oh, you know I always do, Loke-dear," she said lightly, brushing her hand over his shoulder. "And dear," she said to the blonde, "don't let the Lion here devour you too quickly."
Then Rei-chan took Gray's hand and led him away.
Next Chapter: "An Unlikely Advisor"
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