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Fight Me, Bite Me	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 39446 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

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Chapter 22

Not Really A New Chapter
"Hey everyone! It's Natsu and Gray here. Gray … Gray? Hey bastard, get over here."
"I'm busy."
"You're just cleaning the chastity belt. It can wait. Get your ass over here."
"Fine, whatever. It's not like I have to say anything important."
"Stupid! This is very important. Our relationship is at stake!"
"Wh-what? No one mentioned about that."
"Yes they did. You were sleeping."
"I was tired!"
"Aww, did I wear out the ice princess?"
"Screw you!"
"Maybe later, hehe! All right, now that Gray is here, we can tell you what's going on. A whole month has passed since we came out in front of the entire guild."
"I thought we did that yesterday."
"Shut up. These are people from Rhov's dimension. Time moves differently for them, and it's been a month now."
"Sheesh, that's a long wait. It's almost as bad as the Celestial Spirit World."
"Exactly, which is the problem. People are wondering if there's more to our story. Well, there is. Lots more! Because I still haven't gotten to come in Gray's ass yet."
"Hey! Y-you don't need to mention that."
"They know I wanna, and they know how much you want me to."
"Yeah, but … sheesh, you don't have to say it so bluntly."
"You're sexy when you're bashful, Gray."
"Sh-shut up! Don't make me hit you."
"Why not? You know I love it when you spank me."
"Natsu!"
"Anyway, obviously this story is not over. So, you're probably wondering why Rhov's reality-defying talent (or utter lack of a real life) that grants her the magical ability to write a 25-page chapter in a single week, week after week for a whole year, has suddenly stopped."
"If she's doing that much magic, maybe she ran out of eterano."
"I was joking about it being magical, Gray. She's not a wizard. No, rather than running out of magic, she was an idiot and broke her wrist."
"Natsu, you jerk! You know what happened."
"She's a writer. She needs to take care of her hands. For a writer to break her writing hand is pretty stupid."
"Have some consideration, asshole! Folks, please don't listen to this flame-brain. Rhov has mentioned before about having a medical condition called epilepsy."
"Yeah, she complains about it a lot, like Lucy complains about rent."
"Because she's vocal about it and believes in spreading awareness about the condition that can seriously affect the lives of the people who have it, even causing brain damage or, in her case, severe physical trauma. Anyway, she had a seizure, fell really bad, cut her face…"
"Oh God, is she gonna have a scar, like the one on your forehead? I mean, that looks sexy on you, Gray, but for a girl like Rhov, that would be a real concern."
"True, but luckily the cut was not deep. It's pretty much healed up already. She also badly bruised up her face, elbow, knees…"
"Yeah, she's all black and blue, like how Gray looks after Erza's pounded him."
"Shut up, or I'll tell Erza you were rude to Rhov! Anyway, the worst injury was landing really hard on her right hand and breaking a bone in her wrist. This happened two weeks ago. She's in a brace to keep her wrist immobilized…"
"She refused to get a plaster cast, just because I said I wanted to draw pictures of Gray's dick on it."
"You … what? Is that why she went with that ugly black brace instead of a cast?"
"You're really gullible, Gray. I wouldn't draw cocks on Rhov's cast."
"I wouldn't put it past you, you immature bastard. Anyway, so she's been really doped up on painkillers."
"She started talking about seeing flying cats and gerbils, and Happy and Carla weren't even in the room. She's a weirdo!"
"She was hallucinating, idiot! Anyway, although she's off the heavy drugs now, she still can only type with one hand, and it's really hard on her because it's her left hand. Lucy went to ask her how her writing was going, and Rhov admitted that she hasn't written a single sentence for Fight Me, Bite Me since her accident."
"She's a lazier writer than Lucy."
"She's been drugged up and in pain, asshole! Show some consideration! So, Rhov will still be in a brace for four more weeks. She's really happy that so many people have written to her, worried about her health, and she's been trying to keep people on her Facebook fanpage updated."
"Did you know that I joined Rhov Anion's Minions. Hehe, I'm a minion!"
"You're a flame-brain, that's what you are!"
"Hey Gray, do you know what's gonna happen next to us?"
"Do I look like a fortuneteller?"
"I asked Cana. She said that we're gonna be doing something naughty."
"That's pretty vague and obvious."
"Yeah, but we're gonna get caught."
"Oh shit … wait, in public or in private?"
"Uh … I didn't ask."
"Shit! It better not be in public!"
"And then Juvia finds out about us."
"Oh God, put Magnolia on flood alert, right now!"
"Mira already did."
"This next chapter is gonna suck."
"Ahh, don't say that. We get sexy time."
"We get lots of sexy time."
"Hehe, that's true! Oh, Rhov told me to tell everyone … 'Sorry if I'm not writing back!' She can't reply to everyone, and she's really behind on Private Messages. 'Cuz, ya know, that takes typing, which is her problem right now. She can't easily type anymore."
"She's definitely working on what she can, though. After the crap she's been going through lately, she really wants the next chapter to be good."
"Yep, we're just here to tell you what's going on. This chapter will probably vanish when she's ready to post the new one."
"That kinda sucks, actually."
"Huh? Why?"
"People in the future won't be able to read this."
"Well, it's not a real chapter, Gray. It can't be helped. Site rules: holder chapters are not allowed. That's why Rhov asked us to tell everyone rather than write a boring explanation that might break the rules."
"Like she isn't breaking enough rules!"
"Keep quiet about that. Erza threatened to skewer anyone who reports this story. She looked really scary when she said that, too. She sure does love yaoi."
"Anyway, Rhov knows you're all craving more Fight Me, Bite Me, but she is trying to take things easy. She's very happy that everyone is eager to read more of her story."
"Yup! I'm eager for more, too."
"You horny dragon!"
"Hey, if you haven't seen it yet, Rhov is posting a substitute story while she's healing called Catch the Thunder. It's about Laxus and Freed. Seriously, what does she have with all these gay stories lately? Loke is complaining that he's not getting enough time with Lucy."
"He shouldn't complain. He and Lucy are banging in our story. And don't you start to complain! If Rhov didn't like yaoi, you and I never would have gotten together like this."
"Oh yeah, I guess so. Well, see ya, everyone!"
"Just be patient with Rhov, okay?"
"Yeah, and when she comes back, then I can kick her ass for making me and Gray wait so long."
"Sheesh, do you really want me to fuck you that badly?"
"Well, that's a stupid question. Of course I do!"
"...Stupid horny dragon."
"You're blushing."
"Am not!"
"Are so!"
"Shut up!"

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I had a lot of requests to keep this chapter up, so I did. XD
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