(Never) Let Him Know | By : Fullmetal_Masochist Category: -Misc Anime > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1808 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters in the series. I am making no money from this story. |
I found it challenging to read Eto's book after discovering the main character and I shared a name. Had Kaneki's mind created me because of this story? Despite her encouraging me to do so, I decided not to find out who the fictional Haise was. Doing so would just make me feel even more artificial. I was only a tourist in this body after all, a placeholder for someone else's life.
Once again, I was brought before the dark-haired boy. I waited for him to speak, but he never did. He only watched me from behind his invisible barrier, sitting in that same wooden chair.
"You're Kaneki, aren't you?"
"Yes. And you are my creation, Haise. You were born from my desperate attempt at survival to shield me from the abuse I faced in the Aogiri prison until I was rescued. But here I am, still confined and hidden away while you get to enjoy my life."
"You think I'm enjoying this?! I have no idea who any of these people around me are! Whenever someone approaches me, I don't know whether they're seeing me for the first time or if they've known this face for years. Do you know how awful it is not to have a past to look back on? No memories to share with other people? I only know as much as I'm told, and not everyone is as forthcoming as Hide has been." Kaneki looked away at the mention of his name.
"Did you want to see my past? How about the last ten days of my life before you took over? Your current situation is a sweet dream compared to that reality! There's a reason I broke myself apart, Haise, but I didn't intend for it to be permanent, I want this to be fixed so I can go back to him. Even though it's through your eyes, I can still see him. He's doing the best he can, but I know the pain he endures every day. If you could just let me go, I could make that go away."
"I'm not the one keeping you here! But I realize that for you to go back, I'd have to disappear. And I'm not... I'm not ready for that to happen."
Kaneki looked grim as he rested his hand against his forehead. "If you forget me, there'll be no chance of my return. We both want to live, but co-existing is impossible. Two minds can't exist within one body. I care about him too much for you to let me disappear, Haise. Whatever your reasons for lingering in my place, find a way to get them settled. Your time as a tourist is nearing its end."
"Haise, you okay? You look like something's bothering you." Hide was sitting at the other end of the couch watching TV but at some point, my expression distracted him.
"It's nothing, just have a lot on my mind now. The last few days have been a bit hectic," I said as I dropped Eto's book to the floor.
"I know, and I'm sorry you were dragged into it. Hearing what Eto had to say must have been confusing. If you want to talk about it, you know I'm—" His phone rang before he finished speaking. He made an apologetic face as he answered the call. I took the chance to get up from the couch and go to the bathroom. I finished relieving my bladder when I heard Hide's voice grow louder in the next room. I limped back to the living room to find out what was going on.
"But are they safe?! Good, at least that's fortunate. I wasn't planning to but if you're insisting... Okay, yeah, we'll be there shortly." He hung up his phone and held it tightly in his fist.
"What happened?"
Hide looked my way and calmed the frustrated expression on his face. "There was an attack at Kimi's lab. Nishio was able to get them out of there safely, but a lot of their research has been destroyed. We're meeting at Anteiku to figure out what to do about it. I said we'd go, but if you're not feeling up to it, I'll let them know we're out of this one."
"No, it's okay, I'll go with you." We got ready to leave in silence, and it wasn't until we got outside that our conversation picked back up.
"I know you had mentioned their research before, but what were they working on again?"
"One of the main problems for Ghouls is the fact that we can only survive on human flesh. Kimi is working on developing an alternative to that. They're experimenting with different types of raw animal meat, treating it with enzymes normally found in the human body, and seeing if Ghouls could digest it. Their progress has been good, and they were nearing the end of their trials when this attack happened."
I nodded my head, realizing how important this could be for Ghouls like Hide and the people at Anteiku. "That could change everything if it works out."
"Yeah, it would make a lot of things easier," said Hide as we approached Anteiku. He opened the door and held it open for me, my crutch clicking against the ground as I stepped into the cafe. Everyone involved with Anteiku had gathered in the main room. I took a seat at the nearest table, Hide joined me a moment later.
Yoshimura stood up and began to speak, "We've all been filled in on the events that happened at Kimi's lab. Everyone that was in there at the time of the attack made it out to safety thanks to Nishio's quick thinking."
"Yeah, I even managed to take one of those bastards hostage. It was Aogiri that attacked us. It seems they've taken offense to the work that we're doing. The guy I caught said that creating artificial meat is disrespectful to Ghouls and further strengthens the human's oppression of them. Killing Kimi and destroying the research was their goal."
"I'm glad they didn't hurt or kill anyone, but what about the research?" asked Hide.
"They destroyed a lot of our test trials, but nothing that will set us back for long. They caused us a minor inconvenience at most, we're still in good shape to make a breakthrough at any time," Kimi replied with an optimistic tone to her voice. She had a pleasant attitude, unlike her boyfriend, who for some reason kept a sour look on his face whenever he looked at Hide or me.
"Which means that we need to protect Kimi and her research until that happens," Yoshimura said. "Aogiri Tree is no small force, and unfortunately we don't have the numbers to take them on if they should decide to make a serious attempt on us. So, I'd like to open this discussion up to the rest of Anteiku to find a solution to this issue."
Multiple sets of eyes wandered the room looking for someone to offer up a suggestion, but no one had anything to share. I looked over to Hide, who seemed to be giving the matter serious thought. Once he looked around to see if anyone else had anything, he began to speak.
"You mentioned the other day that the government had an agency that was dealing with Ghoul Crimes. What if we approached them with the information we have on Aogiri Tree? We can leave out any details about Anteiku or Kimi's identity, and just point them in Aogiri's direction and see what happens. We could even negotiate a truce to deal with a common enemy."
Nishio was the first to respond to Hide. "What are you, stupid? You want to get the attention of the same group that just wants an excuse to kill any Ghoul they meet? Even if they did do something about Aogiri, they'd be sniffing around us not long after."
"I have to agree with Nishio; the risk is too great to take at this time. It was a good idea though, Hide," said Yoshimura.
"I'm out of ideas then, but Haise and I need to get going. He hasn't been feeling well and should get some rest. C'mon, let's go," he said abruptly as he stood up and offered me a hand. Surprised by his sudden desire to leave, I only watched him with a puzzled look.
"Sorry to inconvenience you with our problems, pretty boy, don't let the door- oww! That hurt Kimi!" Nishio cried out behind us as I heard a hearty slap strike skin. Even though I didn't know the reason why Nishio disliked us, I couldn't help but smile at him being put in his place by his girlfriend.
Once we got outside, I saw Hide take a few deep breaths.
"What is it?"
"They're too cautious, which after our last incident with Aogiri is understandable. But we're not going to be able to protect anything if we don't take a chance. The CCG is a new agency, so I think they'd be more willing to negotiate than an older, more stable group would. I'm not sure what to do, though. I told myself I'd stop getting involved after... Well, once I got my answers from Dr. Kanou. I don't owe them anything, but I know that letting Aogiri continue to grow is only going to make life as a Ghoul harder." He slightly laughed to himself as he shook his head. "I'm sorry for dumping all of this on you so suddenly."
"It's good that you're getting it off your chest. You've helped me so much, it's good to be there for you for a change. So, keep venting if you need to, I'll listen." I gave him my most genuine smile because it was true, I did like that he felt comfortable confiding in me. I wondered if this was how Kaneki felt whenever Hide needed him.
As we continued our walk home, Hide grew silent, and in a subtle motion, grabbed my free arm and pulled me closer.
"We're being followed, don't stop or look around. Just stay close to me."
I did as he asked, but just before we got close to his apartment, our pursuer decided to make their move. A tall, dark-haired man carrying a briefcase stepped in front of us, forcing us to stop.
"Excuse the interruption, but my partner and I would like to have a word with the two of you. We're with the CCG. My name is Amon, and this is my partner," he gestured to his right, and a small fair-skinned boy appeared before us. His albino appearance was unique enough, but his skin was accented with red stitching that made him stand out even more.
"You... You're from the prison. The one that wouldn't leave," said Hide, a look of shocked recognition on his face.
"Yep, that's me, Juuzou Suzuya! I saw you on the street and figured now would be a good time to get an answer to a question I've had since we met that first time. Why would a Ghoul want to save a human?"
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