Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy	By : Lucythebeast Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 28767 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 32
- 33
- 34
Evangelion:
Only In Your Eyes Am I Worthy

Author�s Note: I live again! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *hack,
cough*

Required
Disclaimer: Still no own. Still no money. Too evil for a conscience. I think I might
just have some jelly donuts around here now, however� Enjoy and ponder on the
glory of GAINAX! And stuff.

Chapter 33: Two for Tragedy

Maya Ibuki was
walking around the NERV facility, stretching her legs and clearing her mind.
She had been working on the MAGI systems with Ritsuko Akagi for most of the day
and part of the night already and needed a break, both from the work and from
just being around the doctor. She just didn�t know what to say to the woman
now, knowing what horrible things she had done.

The captain
exited the facility out onto the surface of the GeoFront and smiled sadly as
she regarded Kaji�s melon garden. �Looks like they could use some water.� She
remarked to herself as she glanced around and spotted the spy�s watering can.
�Hmm� already has water in it. I wonder if he had asked anyone to tend his
garden? Katsuragi-san, maybe?�

�I do not
know, Ibuki-taii.� Came a soft reply behind her.

�OH! Oh� Rei-chan, you startled me. Were
you here visiting the commander?� The computer geek inquired, resting a hand on
her chest over her thumping heart.

Rei blinked a
few times and turned her gaze towards the garden, silently observing the
watering process. �I am here on an assignment. Commander Ikari ordered me to
take a break and walk around. Apparently the air is not fresh enough in his
office.�

Maya�s eyes
narrowed slightly for a few moments in confusion before understanding dawned on
her. �Oh� he told you to get some fresh air. I understand. This is a good place
for that. Had you ever seen Kaji-san�s melon garden before?�

�I had not.�
The first child replied flatly.

The young
captain nodded as she set the watering can down, satisfied that the melons at
least had enough water to continue living, though she was unsure of how much
water was good for them so she didn�t want to overdo it. �So how have you been,
Rei-chan?� She inquired, giving the young former pilot a friendly smile.

�No problems
to report, Ibuki-taii.� The blue-haired girl replied automatically.

�Rei-chan�
I�ve told you before to call me Maya.� The brunette reminded the girl gently
with a pleasant smile on her lips.

�Maya-san.�
Rei corrected herself. She was silent for several moments as she regarded the
older woman and then spoke. �How does one woman become one with another?�

Maya blushed
as she blinked rapidly in surprise. �Wha� what?�

�How does one
woman have sexual intercourse with another woman?� The first child elaborated
bluntly.

The captain�s blush
darkened as she looked away nervously. �Why� are you asking me?�

�You have told
me that I could ask you anything. It is my understanding that you have some
knowledge of this matter. Who should I ask instead?� The red-eyed angel asked,
tilting her head slightly to the side in curiosity.

�Does everyone know that I�m into girls?!� The young Ibuki wondered as her cheeks
did their best to collect every spare drop of blood in her body within them.
�Who� did you hear this from?� She asked nervously. �Please don�t say Commander Ikari... please don�t say Commander Ikari��

�Katsuragi-shousa
asked me how you were in bed. Apparently you informed her that we have had
sexual intercourse.� Rei deadpanned.

�Oh god, that�s even worse!!!� Maya thought in horror. �Ah� well�
that was� ah� she knew I had slept with one of the pilots and she assumed it
was you� and ah� I didn�t correct her� I�m so sorry!�

The
blue-haired girl was silent for a few moments before responding. �I do not
mind, Maya-san. I did not correct her on the matter. I assumed you had
sufficient reason to inform the major of your sexual desire for me. You still
have not answered my question.�

�Rei-chan� are
you asking me to have sex with you?� The captain asked in surprise, looking up
from her hands that she had buried her face in.

�I asked how
one woman has sexual intercourse with another woman. I understand the mechanics
of sexual intercourse between a man and a woman and have experienced this first
hand. However, I am unclear how one woman has a satisfactory sexual experience
with another woman. Please explain it to me.� The first child requested in what
could disturbingly be considered an innocent tone.

�Wow� when I
told you that you could ask me anything� I always assumed you would ask me
about� you know� feminine hygiene or� computer games� or� you know�
non-specific sex stuff.� The young Ibuki stated, sitting down to order her
thoughts. �Ah� it would help if I knew what sort of experience you have� with
another girl, I mean. I assume you�re not asking me this without reason.�

�I have kissed
Soryu-chan numerous times. We caressed each other�s breasts once. She has more
than once placed her hand on my thigh, I believe with the desire to touch me
elsewhere. However, I believe she is also unsure of how to proceed.� Rei
informed her a moment after sitting down next to the captain, assuming it was
how the older woman wished to converse.

�You and
Soryu-chan? Wow� I never pegged her for liking girls. But then, I never have
been very good at figuring out what girls might possibly like other girls�
specifically me.� The computer geek remarked thoughtfully. She noticed the
slight irritation that showed up in the young girl�s eyes for a moment and
realized she was waiting for an answer. �Ah� ok. I suggest you take it slow.
Lots of kissing� let your hands explore� watch for signs that she enjoys
certain places touched more than other places. Keep your touches gentle and
brushing, unless she indicates a desire for more firm touching.�

�And this will
result in a satisfactory sexual encounter?� The first child asked doubtfully.

Maya shrugged.
�Ah� no, that�s just the start of it. Eventually you�re going to want to touch
each other� you know� between the legs. I can�t believe we�re talking about
this��

�But how? When
I pleasured Shinji-kun in this manner, the process seemed rather simple. But I
do not believe this to be the case with Asuka-chan�� Rei remarked, frowning
slightly in thought.

Captain Ibuki
rested her forehead in the palm of her hand and muttered �Oh boy�� She smiled
pleasantly at the first child when the girl looked at her. �Ah� well try doing
the same things to her that you like to do with yourself. That makes a good
starting point� and then you can learn what else she likes and doesn�t like as
you go along.�

The
blue-haired girl stared at the captain blankly. �The things I do with myself? I
don�t understand how reading and playing my viola would lead to a satisfactory
sexual experience with Asuka-chan.�

�Oh no� don�t tell me she�s never�� The captain thought nervously. �Ah� I
mean when you� pleasure yourself.� At the young pilot�s blank stare, she
inwardly groaned. �You�ve� never pleasured yourself, have you?�

�It seems more
efficient to experience sexual gratification with another. I have never felt
the desire to experience this alone.� The red-eyed girl explained.

�Don�t offer to have sex with her to
teach her� don�t offer to have sex with her to teach her�� Maya thought to herself nervously.
�Ah� I could always show you a few things, if you�re ever interested.� �WHAT?!
Are you insane, woman?! Are you just a big pervert?!�

Rei considered
that silently for a few long moments. �Perhaps someday. I am not ready to share
this experience with you yet, Maya-san. Is there any other way you can think of
to demonstrate techniques to me that do not require us to have a sexual
experience at this time?�

The captain
breathed a sigh of relief that the young pilot wasn�t offended by her
inappropriate offer. She considered the matter thoughtfully for a few moments.
�Ah� well I do have some yuri manga that you might find informative. It�s not
often very graphic, though. Ah� oh! I have an idea.� The computer geek gently
lifted up the first child�s hand with her palm downwards and her fingers
pressed together but relaxed so they had a downward slope. �I could do this
just with my hands but I think it would be more informative this way��

The
blue-haired beauty regarded her fingers curiously and then nodded,
understanding what her fingers were to represent. �Proceed.�

�Ok� see this
is how I usually start�� Maya stated, brushing her fingers gently against the
other girl�s fingers, touching the fingers in various ways and watching the
curious expressions playing out on the girl�s features as she watched. Eventually
one of her fingers moved past the barrier of two of the pilot�s fingers and she
demonstrated certain stroking techniques that she usually found to be
appreciated. �A large part of how quickly you proceed and where you touch, of
course, depends on the girl you�re with.�

Rei nodded. �I
see. The fingers have a similar mechanism of action as an invasive penis, only
with more finesse. Most intriguing.�

�Her pupils are dilating� she�s getting
aroused by this?� The
captain observed. �Well, yes. That�s one of the advantages of girls� we have
these slender dexterous fingers that can touch these places like so. Your other
fingers can play on the outside too� and you can insert more fingers if you
like and your lover is ready for it. Another advantage of using your hand in
this way is that you can kiss each other� or you can lick and suck on her
breasts��

The young
Ayanami nodded, biting her bottom lip for a moment as she watched and felt the
older woman�s ministrations. �And this is how one woman has a sexual encounter
with another?�

�Basically.�
Maya agreed. �You can also use your lips and tongue to pleasure each other
there��

�How so? Can
you demonstrate that as well?� Rei inquired curiously, arching an eyebrow up
slightly.

�I� suppose so.�
Captain Ibuki said nervously. �Ok� like
this wasn�t weird enough already. I�m already getting too into this as it is!�
She figured there wasn�t any polite way to decline that request after
everything else she had done, so she knelt down and gently kissed and licked
Ayanami�s fingers. She looked up at the girl and smugly noted that the girl
looked intently interested, probably envisioning how it would feel or at least
look against the real thing.

�Fascinating.
Thank you, Maya-san, that was very informative.� The first child stated,
casually withdrawing her hand.

The captain
blushed and sat back down, self-consciously scratching her elbow. �Ah� ok. Glad
to help.� �So much for thinking she was
getting into it. I�m a horrible person to have even been thinking about it� or
demonstrating those techniques to begin with. She probably thinks I�m a slut��

�I must return
to my assignment now. Thank you for your help, Maya-san.� Rei stated, bowing
slightly before turning to leave.

�Ah� Rei-chan.
We should spend another day out soon. Or perhaps in? I have an extra television
set that I was planning on giving you� perhaps we could play some video games
together.� Maya suggested. �And maybe
fool around some� no! Damn it� Stop thinking like that! I really need to get a
girlfriend� this is getting ridiculous.�

Ayanami raised
an eyebrow, silently regarding the captain.

�What is she� oh, right.� Captain Ibuki smiled at the girl.
�Yes, that�s an order.�

A hint of a
smile formed on the young pilot�s lips and she nodded. �Hai.�

�Uh� what�s she waiting on now?� Maya wondered. �Um� ok then. Take care
of yourself, Rei-chan.� The captain blinked several times, noticing the girl
hadn�t moved. �Does� she want a kiss or
something?� She coughed and was about to lean forward to see if a kiss was
indeed what the girl wanted, but then she noticed her red eyes shift towards
the exit for a moment before moving back to meet the captain�s brown eyes. �Oh! Stupid me, she�s waiting for permission
to leave. Stupid hormones.� �Ah, sorry. Dismissed, pilot Ayanami.�

�Hai.� Rei
replied, walking back into the NERV facility and headed for the elevator.

The captain
sighed and took one last look at the garden, taking a few moments to refill the
water can for the next time or person who watered the melons and then froze
when she noticed the security camera pointed down towards the garden. �Ah�
oops. I hope you boys enjoyed the show.� She squeaked out in embarrassment
before hurrying back into the facility.

The computer
geek felt her cheeks burning in embarrassment and frustrated arousal the entire
elevator ride down to the command level. Soon enough she was back in the
operations room where the blonde doctor was finishing up her work. Whether the
woman even realized her assistant had taken a break or not wasn�t apparent, but
it was unlikely considering how silent they had both been during the process.
She sat down and relaxed, letting her mind drift to the quiet blue-haired
enigmatic beauty and attempting to keep her mind out of the gutter whilst doing
so. That led her mind back to what her mentor had done to the poor girl as well
as her clones, which darkened her mood again. Though she did feel attracted to
the girl, when she really thought about it, she knew the majority of her
feelings for the girl were protective and caring in nature, rather than
romantic. It would be one of the brightest moments in her life if the young
pilot began to think of her as her
senpai.

An hour or so
later, Dr. Akagi wiped sweat from her brow after standing up from working on
the MAGI systems. �That should do it. Run the test hacks on each of the MAGI
from the other two.�

�Yes, sensei.�
Maya replied, professional and cool with the doctor. She ran the test hacking
program and stood up to get some coffee while the program was running.

�I� can get
you some coffee, Maya-chan.� Ritsuko offered, trying a gentle smile in hopes
that it would brighten the young captain�s mood.

�No thanks.�
The brunette replied curtly, pouring the drink herself. She then started walking
around a little to stretch her legs while keeping her eye on the program
running.

�Maya-chan�
I�m sorry. I can�t apologize enough for what I did to you�� The blonde doctor
stated, feeling her heart breaking from knowing how much she hurt her young
prot�g�.

Maya glared at
the older woman. �You don�t even understand why I�m angry with you. You think
it�s because of what you did to me?
By what� asking me to help you? Yeah� that hurt, doctor. But it doesn�t compare
to what you did to Ayanami-chan. You murdered
her clones, Akagi-sensei. You tried to murder Ayanami-chan herself! I care
about that girl, damn it. I care about her the same way you use to care about me. I could handle
your rejection� I could even handle it that you lied to me about Ayanami-chan
threatening me. But the Akagi-sensei I fell in love with could not have murdered children. I don�t even
know who you are anymore.�

Ritsuko stared
at the angry younger woman in astonishment. �Love? Is that what all that asking
me out business was about? I thought you were just showing me pity. You were
serious?�

Captain Ibuki
hissed in frustration. �That�s not the point! Yes, I loved you. I probably even
wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, you stupid idiot! Even if it was
just as your friend. But you are not the woman I loved. Even if you�re here now
for penance, it doesn�t matter. I can�t forgive you, doctor. What you did is
beyond forgiveness.�

Dr. Akagi
sighed and lowered her head sadly. �I�m sorry to hear that, Maya-chan.�

�Don�t call me
that anymore. You lost that right the moment you wrapped that cord around
Ayanami-chan�s neck.� The young captain stated, turning away from the doctor
and struggling not to sob as hot tears spilled out of her eyes.

Ritsuko nodded
and set a disk she had prepared down. �This is everything I could think of that
you would need to know to take over my job completely. There�re also some
suggestions for what to do in case there are any attacks on this base after the
last angel is dealt with. I�m not sure why Ayanami seems to think that the MAGI
would be involved, but she asked us to make preparations, so we did. Maya-ch�
ah� Ibuki-san� I�m sorry. Take care of yourself, please.� She paused at the
door and glanced back at her former pupil. �Do you think that� you will ever
forgive me?�

Captain Ibuki
sniffed and turned her head slightly back towards the doctor. �I love you. That
won�t change.� She stated. A moment after the happy relief started lighting up
the doctor�s face, however, she continued. �But I no longer have hope for you.
I will remember how you use to be fondly. Sayonara, Akagi-san.�

Ritsuko
lowered her crestfallen eyes, gazing at the floor as heaviness settled back
over her heart. �Hai� sayonara, Ibuki-san.� The doctor left and stayed in her
office, knowing that soon Rei would come to settle up with her. She was looking
forward to that now.

Back in the
control room, Maya lowered her face into her palms and sobbed, not even caring
if either of the commanders were up in the observation deck or that someone
might come in.

*************************

Vice-Commander
Fuyutsuki took a few moments to yawn, stretch and scratch himself in various
places before he stepped out of his office, where he had slept on his couch all
night. Lately, he tended to sleep there more often than his bed at home, but he
didn�t complain. Before he stepped out of his office, he looked into the mirror
and took the time to straighten his appearance, losing all evidence that he had
been asleep at all. The half-asleep slightly grumpy professor was replaced with
the cool, calm and collected Vice-Commander before he opened his door.

Kōzō
frowned as he noticed the young Ayanami staring down at various maps and
readouts, the same thing she had been doing when he went to sleep late the
previous night. �Ayanami-chan� you didn�t stay up all night, did you?�

Rei looked up
and the barest hint of a smile played out on her lips before the expression
dropped to her normal neutrality. �No sir. I awoke an hour ago.�

Had she been
anyone else, the professor would have assumed she was lying, that she had
indeed been up all night and was simply trying to prevent him from worrying.
But this was Ayanami and he knew she did not lie. And even if she had started,
she wouldn�t lie about something as simple as that. �Ikari-kun and Soryu-chan
should be here soon.� He stated to remind her, in case she had forgotten. It
wasn�t likely that she would forget that they were coming, it was simply more
likely that she wouldn�t realize that time was already approaching.

�Yes sir.� The
red-eyed girl agreed, not even looking up from the papers.

�Ayanami-chan,
take a break. An important part of learning is rest.� The Vice-Commander stated
with a slight smile on his lips. While he was still teaching, he loved students
like her� ones that were focused and loved the learning and thinking, it was
them that he usually had to remind to rest and take it easy. His other
students, however, had the opposite problem.

�Yes sir.� Rei
replied, sitting back further in her seat and lifting her gaze up to the former
professor.

Fuyutsuki
smiled gently at her and poured a cup of tea for her. �So tell me,
Ayanami-chan� how are things with Ikari-kun and Soryu-chan?�

A slight smile
came to the girl�s lips as she thought of the two people dearest to her heart.
�No problems to report.�

Kōzō
nodded. He knew the first child well enough to know that the words she said
meant little, but the light in her eyes, the shifts in her body language and
the touch of a smile on her lips meant she had never been happier. �I hear
you�ve been playing some games with them? Some ah� what do you call them�� The
professor wiggled his fingers in an approximation of holding a video game
controller.

�Yes sir.
Shinji-kun was playing this game a few days ago that was fascin-� The first
child spoke with a smile on her lips as her eyes lit up as she related the fun
experience. But then the door opened and Gendo Ikari walked in.

Rei�s brief
joyful expression dropped into its normal serious one as the commander was
speaking as he walked into the door. �Ikari-kun and Soryu-chan have just
entered the facility. Let�s go meet them at the elevator.�

The professor
sighed and shook his head slightly as he fell into step behind the commander
and the first child. �Gendo, you would
have given your right foot to see Rei-chan opening up like that. Too bad you
missed it.�

�How are you
coming on memorizing that material, Rei?� Gendo inquired without looking down
at the quiet girl.

�I am making sufficient
progress, sir.� The former pilot replied.

�I see. That�s
fine.� Commander Ikari replied simply, falling into silence afterwards.

The
blue-haired girl turned her head slightly to look at the man walking beside her
for a few moments but then fixed her gaze ahead, her disappointment masked
behind her stoic expression.

After they
entered the elevator and took it up to the highest level, it opened up to
Shinji and Asuka. They both blinked in surprise at seeing the people they were
to meet waiting for them and the third child scratched the back of his head
nervously. �Ah� good morning.� He greeted, vainly hoping that his pleasantries
would be returned.

�Get in, we
don�t have all day, Shinji.� Gendo stated gruffly.

�Oh! Sorry.�
The blue-eyed boy blushed and stepped into the elevator, followed a moment
later by the German spitfire.

�We�re not
going to the cafeteria?� Asuka inquired, noticing that one of the lower levels
was selected instead by the grim commander. �Schei�e,
they said breakfast so we didn�t eat before coming over here. I�m so hungry, I
could eat a whole pig by myself!� The second child thought. She cast a
furtive glance towards the young Ikari, but then her eyes drifted down towards
the ground.

�We have a
private recreation room, we often eat there instead of the cafeteria.� The
vice-commander replied since the elder Ikari remained silent.

Rei frowned
slightly as she noticed the body language of her fellow pilots and fixed her
steady gaze on the second child. Something seemed� wrong, but she couldn�t
quite place it. �Asuka-chan� are you feeling well this morning?� She finally
inquired.

Nearly
everyone in the elevator turned a surprised eye towards the first child. The
blue-eyed girl, however, simply shrugged and stared at the ground. �I�m ok.�
She replied softly.

The former
pilot of Unit 00 turned her gaze onto Shinji, a touch of a frown fixed on her
lips. Only those that knew Rei the best could see the anger in the girl�s eyes.
She kept silent until they reached after the elevator opened up and they exited
it. �We shall join you in a few minutes. I wish to speak to Ikari-kun.� Rei
stated softly. She walked towards one of the storage rooms where they could
have some privacy.

Shinji blinked
in surprise and cowered slightly under the stern glare of his father and
followed the girl as quickly as he could.

�Gee, thanks a
lot. Leave me with these scary old men.� Asuka griped softly.

�What was
that, Pilot Soryu?� Professor Fuyutsuki inquired, even though he heard what she
said.

�Ah� I said I
wonder what�s for breakfast�� The second child smiled brightly, hiding her
nervousness well.

Gendo frowned
towards the supply room for a few moments, but then turned to enter the
recreation room, followed a moment later by the vice-commander.

�Scaaaaary.�
Asuka muttered as she followed them.

�Should we be
concerned, old friend?� Kōzō inquired discretely while the second
child was busy investigating the room.

�No. She won�t
hurt him. He may wish she had, however.� Commander Ikari replied, sitting down
a moment later to bridge his fingers and glare at the petite German girl who
was tapping on an aquarium containing some fish.

Meanwhile, in
the storage room, Shinji smiled at Rei and stepped closer to her, stretching
his arms out, intending to hug her. The quiet first child took a step back and
frowned in disapproval. �Rei-chan? Is something� wrong?� The boy asked. He was
almost sure she had wanted at least a hug and a kiss. A small part of him had
also been holding out hope that she wanted a quickie before breakfast. Those
hopes were now dashed.

�Ikari-san�
Asuka-chan looked� upset. Explain.� Rei demanded, though her voice barely rose
above its normal quiet whisper.

The third
child coughed and glanced away. �Ah� well, she�s angry with me.�

�Why?� The
red-eyed girl inquired. She already knew that much. She could tell that a
shroud of sadness and anger was hanging over the other girl�s heart, but she
couldn�t understand why. However, it was obvious that Shinji was the cause of
it.

The young
Ikari blushed and scuffed his foot against the ground nervously. �Ah� well�
that�s ah�� He coughed and stared at the ground, however his girlfriend
remained silent, waiting for his reply. �She� wanted to have� sex. With me.�

Rei waited for
over a minute, but it became obvious that it was all he was going to say
without prompting. �So?� She finally said.

Shinji sighed
and averted his gaze from hers, feeling shamed but he wasn�t sure why. �I said
no and she took it badly.�

�I don�t
understand.� The first child stated. She knew that some time after she left
that they had done something� the happiness she and Kaoru had both felt from
the girl confirmed that. But now it was as if all the hope had been drained out
of the red-haired beauty. �Why did you reject her?�

The young
Ikari shifted his eyes up to look at his beloved. He still couldn�t understand
why the girl seemed to want him to have sex with another girl. In fact, she
almost seemed to be insisting on it. He wondered just what kind of fucked up
morals his father had taught the girl, where she not only would consider such a
thing to be normal, but desired. �Rei-chan� boyfriends aren�t supposed to cheat
on their girlfriends. You�re only supposed to have sex with your lover, not
just any girl that comes along.�

The
blue-haired beauty glanced in the general direction of the second child.
�Asuka-chan is not just any girl. She is in my heart, and she is in your heart
as well. You don�t even realize what you have done by rejecting her. Can you
not feel the grief choking her heart? Are you blind to her pain? What kind of
man are you, Ikari?�

�A loyal one,
damn it!� Shinji cried. He was tired of being treated like the bad guy for
doing the right thing. �You think I don�t want
to have sex with her? You think that I don�t care about her very deeply? That I
don�t see the heartache I�m causing her by turning her down? It�s breaking my
heart too, but when a man commits to a girl he loves, he stands by that
commitment! You say you know what�s in my heart? You�re not acting like it. It
hurts me just as much as it does Asuka-chan when I have to tell her no, but
I�ll keep telling her no because you�re the one I want. You�re the one I chose
and I don�t care if you think it�s ok for me to sleep around, because I don�t.
And I won�t do it.�

�Then perhaps
you should not have led her to believe you would be one with her, Ikari. Though
I do not understand your feelings on this matter, I can respect them as I
respect you. But you broke her heart, and I cannot�� Rei stopped talking
suddenly, closing her eyes for a moment as the anger receded from her psyche. A
moment later she opened her eyes and saw the hurt on her lover�s face. �Forgive
me, it is not your fault. You did what you thought was right. I hope� you will
not regret your choice.� The girl bowed low for a few moments and then walked
out without waiting for a reply.

The third
child was baffled. It was the first time he had ever seen Rei angry since
months before when he criticized his father and he felt ashamed to have
disappointed her. But then she suddenly apologized and bowed� it left him
wondering if there was something going on that he didn�t know about. He
realized she was still angry with him, but that she had apologized because society
expected her to� the whole situation was giving him an ulcer.

After Shinji
and Rei rejoined the others, they sat down to eat, with the commander�s
personal chef coming in to find out what everyone wanted to eat. Asuka leaned
over and whispered into the first child�s ear. �You guys don�t look too happy
to have just come back from a quickie��

The red-eyed
girl blinked in surprise and turned to regard the other girl. �We had words.�
She explained simply.

The second
child nodded and looked away, feeling a little guilty. �Damn it� I didn�t want to come between them, but I get the feeling I have anyway.�

Vice-commander
Fuyutsuki frowned as he regarded the children, whom all looked as if their
beloved pet dog had died. He leaned over to speak softly into Gendo�s ear so he
wasn�t overheard. �I was under the impression that they were all happier
lately.�

For the first
time that morning, Commander Ikari actually looked around at the young pilots
and a frown crossed his face as he saw the distant and sad expressions on their
faces. �This was not in our
scenario.� He grumbled.

�How has your
schooling been?� The professor asked the children in an attempt to start a
conversation.

�The school
closed when all the civilians evacuated, Vice-Commander.� Shinji replied
distantly, fiddling with a piece of negi (Welsh onion) floating around in his
miso soup with his chopsticks.

�Oh� I see.
That�s too bad. You all must be growing quite restless. Perhaps we should add
more testing to the schedule so you don�t get bored.� Vice-commander Fuyutsuki
suggested.

Shinji and
Asuka both snapped to attention, realizing they were in danger of having to
spend more time sitting in LCL and getting their brains exhausted from the
harmonics testing. �Ah, well that is� ah�� The third child began to try to
protest.

�Excellent
idea. You will both come every other day for harmonics testing.� Commander
Ikari announced.

�Oh� ah� yes
sir.� The blue-eyed boy stated sadly. �Ow! Ah� cramp. Sorry.� He glared at
Asuka who stuck her tongue out at him for getting them more experimentation
time.

�And how has
your therapy been, Pilot Soryu?� Kōzō inquired, fixing his gaze on
the second child.

Asuka�s eyes
widened as she realized she was now the center of attention. �Ah� well. I�m doing
very well, sir.�

�Good, then
you should be able to handle more responsibilities. Come up with a few possible
angel scenarios as well as strategies to combat those threats. I�ll be
interested in your report.� The professor stated with a friendly smile.

�Oh� yes sir.�
The red-haired girl replied as if she had just signed over her first born
child.

Everyone fell
into silence again. Gendo and Kōzō shared a look and then the elder
Ikari spoke up again. �Perhaps you can both handle harmonics testing every day�
and weapons training every other day.�

The
still-active pilots mouthed dropped open in shock as they contemplated that.
�Wh� what?� Shinji finally managed to get out.

They all
stared silently at each other, except for Rei, whom was still chewing on rice
as if nothing were happening.

The commanders
shared another look after the pilots faces dropped back down to their food,
looking even more crestfallen than before. �Come to think of it, I think they
could handle weapons training every day, as well as the harmonics training.
It�s not like they have anything else to occupy their time.� Fuyutsuki stated.

Asuka jumped
up to her feet in outrage and immediately looked mortified as everyone�s eyes
were on her. �Ah� um� sorry. I need to� use the bathroom.� She hurried out
before she said something she knew she would regret.

The third
child looked even more stunned than the others, watching the girl leave as if
he felt she was running out of his life for good. �Asuka-chan�� He murmured,
feeling sad though he wasn�t sure why.

�I will return
shortly.� Rei stated suddenly, standing up and moving quickly to follow the
second child.

Shinji
swallowed nervously and seemed to shrink in his chair under the disapproving
glare of his father.

The second
child rested her palms against the cold metal inside the same storage room that
Shinji and Rei had talked in a short time before. Her eyes were squeezed shut
as she tried to prevent the tears from falling from her eyes. A few moments
later she picked up a chair and threw it into a wall, letting out a primal
scream. She grabbed up another chair and smashed it through a cheap cardboard
table, once used to hold refreshments for the scientists working on Project E.
�Stupid bitch! Fucking brainless whore!� She screamed, unable to stop from
crying now.

�Have I done
something to offend you� Asuka-chan?� Rei�s soft voice broke through the sobs
of the second child.

�Ah!� The German girl jumped up in surprise,
clutching her chest as she faced the quiet first child. �Rei-chan� no. Of
course not.� She sighed and stiffly wiped at her eyes, cursing herself for
losing control again.

�It is not I
that am the stupid bitch?� The blue-haired girl inquired, slowly approaching
her fellow pilot.

Asuka snorted and
shook her head. �No, silly. I�m the
stupid bitch.�

The red-eyed
girl frowned slightly and gently brushed some tear-stained hair away from the
other girl�s sparkling royal blue eyes. �Why?� She inquired in her trademark
soft whisper.

�I thought�
that I could be happy� with what little affection you and Shinji-kun showed me.
The occasional hug and kiss� but it�s not enough.� The German girl replied.

�I don�t
understand. Were you not� one with Ikari? I felt a moment of joy� that was not
from your heart?� Rei inquired carefully.

The second
child blinked in surprise, trying to figure out what the girl knew and how she
knew it. �Ah� he did a little something to me. He� pleasured me with his mouth.
But he refused to actually �be one� with me, as you say. Even though he almost
did it several times� he said to do so would make him dirty.�

Anger flashed
in the girl�s red eyes and she turned her gaze in the general direction of the
young Ikari. �He said that?� She asked.

�Well� kind
of. He backpedaled and claimed it was he that was the dirty one, but it still
boiled down to the fact that he wouldn�t have sex with me. Maybe it is for the
best� I don�t want to cause problems between you two. If he wants to move in
with you� I�ll stay behind in Misato-san�s. I will� re-learn to sleep alone.
It�s not your concern.� The red-haired spitfire offered in a rare moment of
complete selflessness.

The first
child turned her gaze back to the other pilot and brushed her fingers through
the girl�s long red hair. �Asuka-chan� if he is unwilling to be one with you,
then it is his loss. I would be honored to be one with�� The girl stopped
talking suddenly and her gaze whipped around to stare in the general direction
of the Eva cages. �No! Not yet!� She whispered. But it was too late. The
Angel-Alert klaxon blared to life. �Damn� Asuka-chan. Be strong. I am with
you.� Rei leaned forward and pressed her lips firmly against the second child�s
for a few moments and then pulled away. �Be strong.� She repeated before moving
quickly out to where the men were making haste towards the elevators.
�Commander! A moment, please, sir.�

Gendo stopped
where he was and motioned for the pilots to go on ahead. �Soryu, launch
immediately. Shinji, board Unit 01 and stand by.� He ordered before the pilots
took the elevator down to the Eva cages. �What is it, Rei?�

�Go ahead and
start the cryo-unlock procedures on Unit 01. Trust me on this, please,
commander.� The first child requested as politely as she could.

�Rei, don�t be
a child. Your boyfriend�s Eva will remain in cryo-lockdown unless Asuka�s Eva
is defeated. We can�t risk�� The commander started scolding the girl.

�Commander, I
have never asked you for anything before. I am asking you for this. Please.�
Rei begged in her normal soft voice, urgency in her eyes.

Commander
Ikari was definitely surprised. Even if it was a childish wish for her
boyfriend to be the hero, it was still unusual for the girl. �If Unit 01
berserks, pray that we can recover it with minimal damage, Rei.� With that he
and Fuyutsuki moved quickly down the passage leading to the observation deck.

Rei sighed and
headed in the opposite direction, to the elevator leading to Central Dogma. It
was time for her to wait by Lilith.

*************************

Kaoru Nagisa made
his way silently through the corridors of NERV. It had been easy enough to
avoid the security agents assigned to watch him, for he could feel their hearts
with his own. He glanced towards the higher levels of the facility, sensing the
conflicted emotions of all three of the other Eva pilots, however, their
troubles were no longer his concern. He had fulfilled his promise to himself to
allow Shinji and Rei to find their happiness, and he had even conceded to allow
Asuka the time for her own, a promise that was quickly fulfilled. Now all that
was left was his destiny.

He started
entering the chamber where he could sense Unit 00 being housed when he heard
his sister�s thoughts in his head. �No!
Not yet!� He had already stepped through the threshold, however, and the
Angel-Alert klaxon started blaring.

�Strange� did
they set a trap for me?� Tabris wondered aloud, gazing up at Unit 00. However,
it was not Unit 00. �What? Little sister� did you lie to me? Or perhaps you
were the one who was lied to.� He scowled up at the simulation Eva before him,
containing the sole surviving Rei Dummy Plug. �Hmph� this complicates matters.�

Alone, the
angel floated towards the bulkheads leading to Terminal Dogma, forcing them
open with his powers. �The Lilim�s capacity for deception knows no bounds.� The
silver-haired boy remarked, forcing the bulkheads to open up one after another.
His gaze moved up when he heard a primal scream above him. �Shinji-kun? No�
Soryu-san. Even better.�

�I knew there
was something wrong with you, you silver-haired freak!� Asuka screamed,
approaching the angel quickly as she drew her prog-knife.

Tabris�s eyes
narrowed in confusion. �Strange� what is this shroud of sorrow still choking
your heart, Soryu-san?� He inquired, ignoring the knife as it made contact with
his AT field. �Ah� Shinji-kun rejected you. A pity. Forgive me, Soryu-san.
Blame Shinji-kun for your weakness, if you like.�

�Why won�t you
die?!� The second child screamed as she brought the knife down again and again,
only to be deflected by the strong AT field surrounding the boy-angel. �Was�
was ist das!? (What� what is that!?)� The girl demanded, seeing a glowing
energy surrounding the fifth child. A moment later, it lanced out and made
contact with her. �AAAAAHHHH!!!! NO!!!!!
NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!� She screamed, digging her fingers into her head as she
thrashed around inside her plug.

�Asuka! What�s
happening?!� The panicked voice of Shinji came through the comm. window.

�Get out of my
head, you stupid Hurensohn (son of a bitch/whore)!� The German girl screamed in
agony.

�Unit 01,
launch immediately!� The voice of Major Katsuragi could be heard, but then the
voices simply seemed to fade away.

*************************

Asuka blinked and
sat up, finding herself in a hospital room. �Huh? What happened?� She inquired,
blinking even more to clear her eyes as she saw Shinji standing beside her,
looking worried and nervous.

�Are you ok,
Asuka-chan? Kaoru did a pretty good number on you before you killed him. We
were worried that� you�d never wake up.� The third child admitted shyly,
glancing away from the girl as shame at his own inability to save her was
apparent.

�I� feel fine.
What happened? The last thing I remember was that Oberarsch (supreme
idiot/super ass) fucking with my head. Then� waking up here.� The blue-eyed
girl stated.

�You were
thrashing around� right before I reached you in Unit 01, you punched Kaoru� uh�
I mean the angel� dead on. Squashed him like a bug. Then you went unconscious.
We were afraid the mental contamination was too much� especially after� last
time.� The young Ikari stated, staring at the floor.

A smile
crossed the German pilot�s lips as she contemplated that. �See? I told you I
was the best pilot, stupid.�

Shinji smiled
and hesitantly reached out to brush his fingers over the girl�s smooth cheek.
�Yeah� I know. Asuka-chan� when I thought I lost you� I realized how stupid
I�ve been. When you�re feeling better� I�d like it if� ah� you�d give me
another chance� to make it up to you.�

The red-haired
beauty stared up at the boy, surprise on her features. Then a sly grin formed
on her lips. �Are you saying you wanna fuck me, Shinji-kun? And Rei-chan is
still ok with that?�

The third
child blushed and looked away. �Ah� well� when you�re feeling better� I want to
be with you� yes. If you still want to� if you don�t, I understand. I�ve been
an idiot��

Asuka smiled
brightly and kissed the blue-eyed boy with a burning passion. �Screw waiting�
close the fucking door and get naked!�

The young
Ikari grinned like a fool and kicked the door closed as he starting pulling off
his clothing. �You�re sure? You want to be one with me? I need you to open
yourself up to me��

The second
child blinked a few times in confusion. �What?�

�I can�t just�
do it so suddenly, Asuka-chan� at least not without knowing for sure it�s what
you want. If you want me� I need you to open your heart to me. Let me love
you�� Shinji stated with a warm, angelic smile as he gently brushed his lips
against the blue-eyed girl�s.

�Shinji-kun�
Shin-chan� I� love you, you know. You stupid boy� Do you know how long I�ve
been waiting to hear you tell me that?� Asuka asked, pulling the boy close and
crying tears of joy as she kissed the third child.

�Thank you,
Asuka-chan. That was all I needed.� The boy pressed himself against the girl
for a few moments and it almost seemed like they became one person. The world
dissolved into nothingness around them as they kissed.

*************************

Asuka�s screams
of pain suddenly changed into a feral growl. As Unit 01 approached, her Eva
turned and started tackling the purple Eva. �Raaawl!!!� She cried, attempting
to stab the other Eva with her prog-knife.

Shinji brought
up his hands just in time to catch the other Eva�s wrists, fighting desperately
to keep himself from being stabbed. �What the hell?! Asuka! Why are you
attacking me?!�

�Shinji-kun!
The angel has contaminated her mind! She�s not in control of herself! You�re
going to have to neutralize Unit 02 so that you can destroy that angel!� Major
Katsuragi barked out.

�But� I can�t!
Asuka is in there! It�s not her fault that she�s attacking me!� The boy cried,
desperately struggling with the other Eva. He screamed in agony when the blade
bit into his Eva�s shoulder for a moment, sending out sparks that flew
everywhere before he was able to pry the knife back out. They kept passing
bulkhead layers, approaching Terminal Dogma every second.

�Shinji! You
must neutralize Unit 02!� Gendo commanded coldly.

�No! Can�t you
eject her plug!?� The young Ikari cried, struggling with all his might against
the feral might of Eva Unit 02.

�Negative! The
Eva is rejecting the ejection signal!� Maya�s voice was heard to report.

�Damn it� what
do I do now!?� Shinji cried, screaming in pain a moment later when the knife
once again bit into his shoulder.

�Shinji! Don�t
let your failure to act cost Asuka her life as it did Suzahara�s!� Misato
cried. �You can neutralize Unit 02 without killing Asuka, if you act now!� She
made sure to mention that before the commander could make any comment about the
expendability of the German pilot.

The third
child�s eyes widened as he realized she was right. �Asuka-chan� forgive me.
Don�t die� please don�t die.� He drew his prog-knife, ignoring the throbbing
pain in his shoulder from the knife still embedded in his Eva, and stabbing
into the chest cavity of Unit 02, desperately hoping he had avoided the Entry
Plug but damaged the power supply. A moment later they fell through the last barrier
into Terminal Dogma itself, falling down into the Sea of LCL.

The boy
screamed in pain as the shock traveled through his system. He stared up in
horror as Unit 02 jumped up and latched onto his Eva�s neck with its hands,
squeezing the life out of him. His ears were bombarded by the animalistic cry
of Asuka as he was strangled. �Damn it! Asuka! Wake up!!!� He cried. He glanced
over and watched in horror as Kaoru floated closer to (as he believed) Adam.
Growing desperate, he pulled Asuka�s prog-knife out of his shoulder and stabbed
it through the neck of Unit 02, causing it to fall limply to the side in a
shower of LCL. He gasped for breath for a few moments and then scrambled to his
feet and chased after Kaoru. �KAORU!!!�
He screamed.

Tabris almost
made it to Lilith when he felt Unit 01�s fist close over his body. �Ah�
Shinji-kun. Once again, you�ve bested me.�

�You son of a
bitch! If Asuka is hurt, I�ll chase you into hell and kill you again!� Shinji cried
in fury. �Why did you do this?! You�re human� you�re an angel too? I don�t
understand! And why did you do that to Asuka!? I thought you were my friend!�

Kaoru smiled
pleasantly up at the enraged third child. He already felt his AT field being
neutralized by Rei, so he knew he couldn�t withstand it when the Eva�s hand
closed. �It was my destiny to die here by your hand. As it has been before, so
it is now. I can�t seem to escape that fate, no matter what I try.�

�Stop talking
nonsense and tell me why you did that to Asuka?!� The young Ikari demanded,
squeezing down just enough to make his grip uncomfortably tight for the angel.

Kaoru glanced
up and smiled at Rei. �Take good care of
Shinji-kun for me, little sister. I�m� sorry about Asuka.� He told her in
his thoughts.

�You are a fool, Tabris. You are the angel of
free will� and yet you never exercised that free will for yourself. I gave you
three chances and you made the same choice every time. But this time you hurt
Asuka-chan� consider yourself lucky that I am not remaking the world again this
time, or I would kill you myself when the new Day dawned.� Rei�s thoughts
drifted down into the angel�s mind.

Kaoru�s eyes
widened at that revelation. �Shinji� and
Asuka weren�t the only ones whose regrets you attempted to address, where they.
Tell me, little sister� what were my regrets?�

�Both times they were the same. That you made
the wrong choice.� The first child replied in thought. �Goodbye, Tabris.�

Kaoru�s eyes
drifted shut for a few moments and then he looked back up at Shinji, whom was
still waiting for an explanation. �It was the only choice I had left. Unit 02
would not allow me to dominate her, so I had to dominate Soryu-san instead. Had
you shown her the love she craved� it would not have been possible. I�m sorry,
Shinji-kun. Once again, I�ve made the wrong choice. Goodbye.�

Shinji�s eyes
widened in horror. �I� knew. Somehow, I knew. Asuka-chan�s sense of foreboding�
Rei-chan�s prompting to share my love with Asuka� it�s my fault. It�s all my
fault!� The boy realized. �NOOO!!!!�
He screamed, clenching his fist closed and crushing Kaoru Nagisa.

�The
interference is gone! Shinji-kun! Are you still there?! Is everything all
right?!� Maya�s frantic voice inquired, followed a moment later with the same
question by Misato.

The blue-eyed
boy stared down at his hands in shock, unable to even form a thought.

*************************

Sorry for the
long wait. I hope it was worth it. Next chapter: The final days before Third
Impact� everyone deals with the choices they�ve made and their consequences.
It�ll be a barrel of fun! For you� not for the characters. Muahahaha!!!!
- 32
- 33
- 34
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

Only in Your Eyes Am I Worthy