The Key to My Heart

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation (after the manga/anime finishes)
Warnings: bad language, angst
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’. Apart from Annette and Jim Harris who are mine.


Chapter 33


Shuichi pushed his food around on his plate absently, occasionally bringing a portion to his mouth to chew before he retuned again to his aimless playing.

Annette watched this behaviour for a time and then put her cutlery down firmly and spoke, “Okay, what’s the matter, Shu?”

Shuichi looked up, surprise etched on his face. “Huh?”

Annette frowned at him. “You’ve been out of sorts all day, ever since you woke up this morning, and you’ve just got worse as the day’s gone on.”

“I’m fine.” he said, fixing a smile on his face and picking up another forkful. “See?” placing it in his mouth, “Fine.” he muttered around the mouthful.

Annette just continued to look at him, making no move to return to her own meal. “Shu,” she finally said, “you’re not fine, you’re upset. I know what you’re like when you’re upset about something. Do you think you can keep pretending to me?”

Shuichi raised his eyes to hers and, with a sigh, gave up the pretense of eating completely, pushing his plate aside. Annette leant across the table to place a hand over his, worry on her face. “Shu, what’s wrong?” He silently shook his head. “Is it something you can’t tell me?” Still silence. “Do you want to go back to Japan?” she asked quietly. “Is that it?” He shrugged, and although he could hear the worry and concern in her voice, he couldn’t find any words within himself to answer her.

Why was he feeling like this? he wondered. He hadn’t been able to sleep at all last night; sitting up till late, aimlessly listening to music, drinking coffee, watching TV. When he had finally tried to sleep, he did nothing but toss and turn on the couch he was lying on, unable to get comfortable. He had got up on more than one occasion to pace the room, before throwing himself back onto the couch to make another futile effort towards slumber.

When the gray of dawn had begun to lighten the window, it had found him still wide-awake, eyes stinging and gritty with tiredness, and a headache pounding in his temples. Not even a shower had revived him, either a hot or a cold one. He had tried both so he knew. The rest of the day had been spent in a funk, a complete and utter well of …..nothingness. He had seemed to wander through the hours in a cloud of depression, completely uninterested in anything that was happening around him. Even the conversations with his family and friends had done nothing to lift his spirits.

An image of Yuki’s retreating back flashed through his mind once again, haunting him as it had all day. No, he wasn’t feeling like this because he had left. It couldn’t be. Yes, he had been sorry to see Yuki go. All right, if he was going to be completely honest, it had hurt - a lot. He hadn’t wanted the man to leave, but he could hardly have asked him to continue to remain here and put his entire life on hold for him– anymore than he had already done so! No, it wasn’t because Yuki was gone. He was just…what?

He gave a weak smile to Annette and stood, moving to sit by the open window, staring out at nothing in particular. What was the matter with him? Was Annette right? Did he want to go back to Japan? He found he liked his family and his band members well enough but it still didn’t make him feel any burning desire to return to his homeland. He could remember a lot more about his school years now, growing up with Hiro, the good times they had had. It had made him curious certainly - curious to see all the places he was beginning to remember, all the places that meant something to him, but he still wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay there. He didn’t even know if he wanted to return to his previous life as a pop star. As much as it sounded so glamourous, with fame and fortune at his feet, he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure that is what he still wanted to do. He did want music in his life, that was one thing he was certain off – completely and utterly, but all the other trappings that went with it….that he wasn’t sure of.

He looked out the window at the darkening sky. Why did he feel so….empty?

Annette watched as Shuichi had smiled at her, and then walked over to the window, folding himself neatly into the chair beneath it. It was his favourite spot, the place he would generally sit when he was thinking about something important. She remained where she was seated, watching him silently, seeing the play of emotions over his face. The worry, the confusion, almost seeing the myriad of thoughts that seemed to be pummeling his brain. Poor Shu, he really was upset. She knew that, as it was the only time he was ever truly silent. Even his smile was tinged with sadness.

What could have made him like this, she wondered. When she had arisen, he had already been up, and judging from the dark circles under his eyes, she had guessed that he hadn’t seen much sleep during the night. There had been no improvement during the day either. If anything, his depression had seemed to deepen and it worried her. Shu wasn’t one to stay down like this. He usually could pick himself up without too much trouble. That he hadn’t made her chew her nails in worry - literally.

He must want to go home; she believed that was the reason for this sudden change in mood. With Yuki leaving to return to Japan, she thought it may have triggered something deeper in Shu about his home, even if he didn’t realize it yet himself. He was remembering more and more about his past, remembering places, people, towns, shops, streets. They were all places he knew, had known before, and it was probably making him want to see it all again, to refresh those memories. Also the ease with which he spoke with everyone who had come over, especially his family and friend, Hiro, showed his true feelings for these people, just how much they cared about him, and how much he cared about them. Of course all that would make him begin to yearn to go home. So why was he hesitating?

She stood and quietly walked up behind him, wrapping her arms about his neck. “Try and get some rest. Think about it some more tomorrow,” she said. “I’ll support you, no matter what you decide.”

Shuichi reached up and squeezed her arms thankfully. Perhaps he should try and talk to Hiro tomorrow about it. Maybe his friend would know why he was feeling like this.

*************

“Shindou!” Sakano rushed down the corridor towards where Shuichi was standing outside Hiro’s room, hand raised to knock. He had risen early this morning so as to head over to the hotel to see Hiro as soon as possible. He was still feeling down and needed to speak to his friend.

“Eh?” Shuichi looked up at the call, eyes wide as Sakano bore down on him.

Sakano skidded to a stop and grabbed his arm, beginning to drag him back down the corridor in the direction from which he had come.

“Hey!” Shuichi let out a cry, grabbing the door handle to prevent his sudden departure. “What’s going on?!”

“You must come with me! We’ve got to make arrangements!”

“What? What arrangements?! What’s going on?!”

Shuichi felt the handle begin to turn in his grip making him lose his hold, and found himself flung backwards by a sudden jerk from Sakano, causing him to go crashing into the man and sending them both sprawling onto the carpet.

The door opened fully to reveal Hiro, who stood there silently for a moment, looking at the mingled mess of appendages before speaking, “Is there something I should know about?”

“Hiro!” Shuichi cried out, scrabbling to escape Sakano’s grasp who wasn’t letting go and maintained his clasp on one of Shuichi’s ankles. “Hiro, help me!” Shuichi called again, crawling towards his friend, pleading.

“No, Shindou! You must come with me!” Sakano begged as he was dragged forward a few inches with Shuichi’s halting progress.

Hiro squatted down and looked from one to the other of the weird-seeming Siamese twins lying before him. “Why do you want Shuichi to go with you?” he asked Sakano calmly.

“Well, Ryuichi Sakuma called and asked K if Shindou would be able to come and see him as soon as possible, maybe even tomorrow.”

“What?!” Shuichi’s cry reverberated down the corridor, “Tomorrow?! Why didn’t you say so?! Hiro,” he turned to his friend. “Are you coming too? What about Suguru?”

“I don’t know, Shuichi,” Hiro said with a bemused smile. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“Where’s K?!” Shuichi demanded, getting to his feet and heading off down the corridor. “We’ve got to get things organized!”

Hiro stood and watched his friend storm off purposefully, still dragging Sakano across the floor as the poor man struggled to get his footing to push himself upright, yet at the same time obviously reluctant to fully release his hold on Shuichi in case his young charge ditched him in the process.

Hiro pulled a cigarette out and lit it before following at a more sedate pace.

K opened the door to admit them upon Shuichi’s loud resounding knock. He waved them all to whatever seating they could take in the room. Hiro and Sakano took the two arm chairs, whilst Shuichi commandeered the edge of the bed.

“Yes, Ryuichi asked that you go and see him in New York as soon as you can,” K said in answer to Shuichi’s demand to explain. “Hopefully, in the next few days as he’s in the middle of filming at the moment so doesn’t have a great deal of time to spare.” K perched on the corner of the table arms crossed over his chest as he surveyed the panting youth before him.

He glanced towards a silent Sakano sitting close by. Now why did the man have lint all over the front of his suit, and what looked to be a carpet burn on his chin? Surely this epidemic of ‘boy love’ that had always revolved around Shuichi’s relationship wasn’t rubbing off on Sakano now?!

“I’ll go right now!” Shuichi’s loud declaration refocused K back on the situation on hand.

“Ah, Shuichi, don’t you think you might want to pack some things first? A toothbrush at least? And didn’t you promise Annette that you’d take her with you?” Hiro put in mildly, halting his friend’s mad dash to the door.

“Annette! Of course!” He reached into a pocket and pulled out his mobile phone, dialing quickly. As he placed it against his ear, he continued speaking to K, “How soon can we get on a flight?”

“I’m sure that won’t be too difficult,” K assured him. “As soon as everyone is organised and ready to go, we can leave.”

K paused as Shuichi turned his attention to the phone. “Annette, can you take a couple of days off?” He was silent as he listened, before continuing. “Ryuichi has invited us to see him in New York but it’s got to be soon. Can you do it? I know it’s close to your exams, but it’s not like this is an everyday occurrence! You will? Great! I’ll let you know tonight what we’ve organized. Bye!” Shuichi hung up.

“As I was about to say,” K put in, “I’ll be arranging also for the rest of us to head home as well.”

Shuichi froze in place. “You’re…leaving?”

K nodded. “We’ve got to get back. The band’s got to start working on the next album and Tohma can’t keep the press quiet for much longer.”

Shuichi looked towards Hiro who was still sitting quietly on the couch. “So you’re going too?”

“Guess so,” Hiro replied. He smiled at Shuichi. “We’ve got to work for a living too, you know!”

Shuichi was silent.

Hiro stood and walked over to ruffle the hair on his friend’s down-turned head. “Don’t worry, dude. You can come visit sometime. And, hey, you’d better call me! Don’t you lose my number!”

Shuichi looked up with a small grin. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that.” He held up his phone. “It’s in my phone book.”

“See, we can still keep in touch.” Hiro said, lightly punching Shuichi’s arm.

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

“Don’t put off the visit for too long. It would be good to show you around again.”

“Thanks. I….think I’d like that.”

“Well, you had better go get ready. Don’t forget to tell your family.” K told Shuichi, standing and guiding him out the door. “I’ll make some phonecalls and let you know what’s happening.”

“Okay.”

As Shuichi walked down the corridor he felt his excitement at meeting his idol, Ryuichi Sakuma, waning a little at the thought of Hiro and the others leaving soon. He had known that they couldn’t stay here forever, logically he knew that. Yet, at the same time, a part of him just didn’t want to believe that they actually would leave. It would be lonely without them here. He was just getting used to having them around.

He stepped out of the elevator at the floor below. He had better speak to his family and tell them he was going to New York. He hoped they wouldn’t mind him leaving so suddenly.

There was quite a flurry the following day, with people gathering from all directions for the trip to New York. K had arranged bookings for not only himself, Sakano, Hiro and Suguru, but also Shuichi and Annette, who arrived at the hotel slightly out of breath as everyone heard how Shuichi had managed to knock a pot plant off their small window ledge to the street below and was forced to ensure that it was all thoroughly cleaned up before they left.

The other unexpected turn of events had been Shuichi’s family, who had also made the decision to accompany them to New York, before making their way home as well. They had announced it to Shuichi when he had gone to tell them of his impending trip, and he had been quite upset to hear it. Between his tears, his mother’s and Maiko’s, it had been a substantial water-fest! He understood their reasoning, and they had encouraged him to come back to Japan with them, even just for a visit, no pressure to stay if he didn’t want to, but the mere thought of returning to what still seemed to him to be a foreign country, was quite daunting and he had avoided giving an answer at this time.

So with that announcement, K had made some further hurried bookings to ensure that they could all make the trip to New York.

Maiko was over overjoyed at hearing that she would be meeting Ryuichi Sakuma, almost, although not quite, as much as Shuichi was. Although her brother had worked in the same industry as the legendary Sakuma, she had never had the opportunity to meet the previous lead singer of Nittle Grasper before he departed for New York once more. She had always liked Nittle Grasper’s music, however she was never as much of an addict as Shuichi had been and she admitted that she had probably been a little brain-washed into liking the band during her younger years due to Shuichi constantly playing Nittle Grasper’s music and talking of nothing but them. Her brother’s whole existence had seemed to revolve around what his favourite band had been doing and they were the biggest inspiration for his own pursuit of music. Now, she would finally get the opportunity to meet the one and only great Ryuichi Sakuma. She couldn’t wait to tell all her friends when she got back home!

So when they had all gathered finally in the lobby of the hotel, they made quite a crowd. Quickly they piled into two limos, again arranged by K, and headed for the airport. It was a tight squeeze, even with most of the baggage placed in the boot, but between bodies, carry bags, and other miscellaneous items that was not packed into the general luggage it seemed that the trip was taking a long time. When the cars reached the airport they all oozed out, stretching cramped muscles, and then there was the mad scramble to sort out what luggage belonged to whom and headed for the check-in.

K had been unable to book them all onto the same flight, getting seating for nine people in first class at the last minute wasn’t easy, but he had managed to succour the final seats on the next plane after also. So Shuichi’s family kindly agreed to take the later plane to allow him and the rest of the band to meet Ryuichi Sakuma ahead of them. Maiko had pouted a little at this but there was little she could do.

Shuichi was so excited. He was finally going to meet Ryuichi Sakuma! Though, he amended, he had been told he had met him before but he couldn’t remember so that didn’t count as far as he was concerned!

He wondered what he would be like. K and the others had told him a few things that had surprised him a little. Was Ryuichi Sakuma really that…strange? He knew that he seen photos of his idol in magazines where he was holding a stuffed toy but he had thought it was just some sort of publicity gimmick. Now he had been told that it actually was a part of the real Ryuichi Sakuma’s personality and not to be concerned by it. He fidgeted in his seat again, gnawing on a nail.

“Shu, will you sit still!” Annette said in exasperation for what seemed like the one hundredth time.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, throwing an apologetic look in her direction.

She sighed. “I know you’re really excited but bouncing around in your seat isn’t going to make the plane get there any quicker! You’ve nearly spilt your drink three times!”

He glanced down at the tray table and could see the small puddle gathered at the base of the cup resting there. Annette was right. At this rate he was going to end up wearing it and what would Ryuichi think of him if he turned up stinking of alcohol? Not to mention how uncomfortable he would be having to finish the flight with sopping wet trousers!

Annette grabbed a spare napkin from her own tray and reached over to lift Shuichi’s cup and mop up the liquid before it could head for his lap. “We’re almost there so just try to relax a little.” she suggested.

“But what should I say when I meet him?” he asked worriedly, fidgeting again.

Annette rolled her eyes at his antics, giving up. Short of sedating him, Shuichi wasn’t about to calm down.

“Why not start with ‘Hello’?” she suggested.

“I know that much! What about after?” Shuichi said, frowning at her.

“I’m sure you won’t have any problems in thinking of something to say. After all, you’re a big fan of his, so don’t you want to ask him about his music? And you know you sang with him before, so he must know your music. You’ve got lots to talk about.”

“What if he doesn’t like my music?”

“You know that’s not true. Why would Mr. K lie to you? He told you that Ryuichi Sakuma liked you, and your music. You already know that.”

“But I don’t remember any of that!”

“You probably will when you meet him,” Annette tried to reassure him. “Now stop worrying or I’m going to brain you with your pretzels!” she threatened, grabbing the small bag and waving it at him.

That made him laugh and he held up his hands in surrender. “All right! All right! I’ll be good!”

“Humph!” Annette snorted, relinquishing her hold on the snacks.

Hiro watched this interaction quietly from across the aisle. He was sure that once Shuichi re-met Ryuichi that he would lose his nervousness. He had a feeling that just meeting Ryu would trigger quite a few memories for him, mostly about his music. Ryuichi Sakuma and his subsequent antics had been a big part in shaping Shuichi and Bad Luck at the start. Hiro didn’t think that would be something that Shuichi was likely to forget for too long.

*****************

The limo raced through the streets, smoothly dodging the traffic. For a large car, it was navigating the roads with a graceful ease. K had once again opted for a limo, not for any attempt to impress, but for the simple expedience of being able to carry six people in relative comfort.

“We’re nearly there,” K assured Shuichi, watching the youth continue to chew on his nails. If the journey took much longer he was going to start gnawing on his knuckles if he wasn’t careful!

The limo pulled up and they all piled out, grabbing bags quickly. Shuichi looked up at the expensive hotel that stretched skywards. The whole place screamed out, ‘Money!’. He gulped as they walked towards the door following K. The doorman, in a pristinely pressed uniform, smoothly opened the doors and bowed them through. Shuichi felt positively grubby in his casual clothes.

Inside was just as impressive, with large chandeliers dripping from the ceiling, mirrors reflecting the soft muted light, the floor tiles polished so they gleamed and were able to reflect the lighting back.

“Hiro,” Shuichi hissed to his friend. “I’m afraid to walk on the floor in case I scratch it!”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hiro whispered from the corner of his mouth, lips barely moving. “They’d just fix it anyway. If you’re concerned about it, walk faster and get over it as quickly as possible.”

Taking Hiro’s suggestion to heart, Shuichi almost sprinted across to a patch of carpet on the other side, bypassing K on his way. There he waited for the others to catch up with him. K raised an eyebrow at his antics, but forwent saying anything.

“The desk clerk with ring through and let Ryuichi know we’re on our way.” he said as they entered the elevator. K swiped a card through the slot and punched in a code on the key pad that was revealed, before it clicked shut again. The lift rose, and continued to rise. Shuichi watched the numbers increase, and as the digits went higher, his eyes became wider.

“Ryuichi always likes high places so he’s in the penthouse.” K explained when finally the elevator ceased its movement and the doors swished open. “This way,”

They all followed after as they moved down the corridor. Shuichi could feel his feet sinking deeply into the thick pile of the carpet as the walked, and he itched to take off his shoes and go barefoot just to feel the plushness on the souls of his feet. What decadence!

K knocked on a door and they waited for a moment, then heard a faint voice calling out, “Coming!”. A rattle of a lock and chain gave them warning that the door was opening and sure enough it did. A tall, thin, stern-faced man stood on the other side, black suit pressed and starched to within an inch of its life. He bowed and waved them in. “Please enter, gentlemen. Mr. Sakuma is awaiting your arrival in the living room. This way, please,” and shutting the door, they followed the man further into the room.

They passed a couple of closed doors and soon entered a spacious area, sunlight pouring in brightly. Ryuichi Sakuma was curled up casually on a couch. He looked up as they all trooped in and a bright smile crossed his face.

“Sir, your guests have arrived,” the butler intoned formally, and with another brief bow to them all, he backed out of the room, gently closing the door behind them.

“Hiya!!” Ryuichi cried out and bounced off the couch, leaping cleanly over the coffee table that was in his way, to land just before them.

Shuichi watched this all with amazement, seeing the older man hurtle through the air without a single thought to the possibility of danger to himself, before he came to a skidding stop in front of him.

“Shuichi!!” he cried out happily, reaching out and grabbing Shuichi’s hand and pumping it up and down in a hearty hand shake.

Shuichi felt his lips begin to twitch as the touch of Ryuichi’s hand made all his excitement and idol worship come bubbling to the surface. The idiotic grin spread further across his face as he returned the hand shake enthusiastically.

“I’m so glad to meet you!” he said, his voice almost squeaking with glee. “I love all your music! I can’t believe that I’m really meeting you!” His whole body was beginning to bounce up and down on the balls of his feet in time with his hand-shaking. “I’m so, so very, very happy!!”

Ryuichi also wore a broad grin, almost identical to the one on Shuichi’s face, and was begin to bounce up and down, only in time with his hand-shake, so between the two of them they were making a weird see-sawing motion. The others could only look on in bafflement. There was no point in trying to think that this was going to be just an ordinary get-together – not when it included Ryuichi and Shuichi!

“Now, Ryuichi, why don’t we let everyone sit down and get comfortable, eh? Shuichi’s family is going to be arriving later on as well, remember?”

“Of course, of course,” Ryuichi said, releasing Shuichi’s hand and bouncing away again. Once more he leapt the table and landed feet first on the couch he had previously been sitting on, jumping up and down as he grandiosely waved them towards the remaining seats. “Sit, sit! Shuichi, Kumagoro wants you to sit with us!” and he held up the stuffed pink rabbit, making its arms wave in a beckoning gesture.

“Okay!” Shuichi agreed, not weirded out in the least at the appearance of the infamous Kumagoro that the others had told him about.

That’s a pretty good sign, Hiro thought as he took a seat. Shuichi hasn’t batted an eye over Ryuichi’s behaviour or him having Kumagoro, so perhaps there’s more memory there than he realizes yet.

“Say hello to Kumagoro!” Ryuichi demanded of Shuichi. “He’s really missed Shuichi! No one sparkles like Shuichi does!”

“Hello, Kumagaro,” Shuichi obediently said, and reached out to pat the top of the stuffed toy’s head.

“Weeee!” Ryuichi squealed happily, throwing himself on top of Shuichi, making Kumagoro wrap its tiny arms around Shuichi’s neck. “That makes Kumagoro very, very happy, Shuichi! Shuichi is so nice! Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back!!”

Shuichi was laughing hard as he tried to disengage himself from both Ryuichi and Kumagoro’s hold.

“Who’s that?” Ryuichi suddenly said in a flat voice, as he froze in place, still lying on top of Shuichi.

“Huh?” Shuichi was caught unawares at the sudden switch of emotions.

“Who’s that person?”

Shuichi followed Ryuichi’s gaze and found that he was looking at Annette, who was in turn looking extremely uncomfortable. He felt a twinge of guilt. He had completely forgotten about her in his excitement at meeting Ryuichi.

“That’s Annette,” he introduced.

“Who is she?” Ryuichi pressed.

“She’s my girlfriend,” Shuichi explained. “She likes your music, too, and wanted to meet you. You…don’t mind, do you?” He was beginning to wonder if he had overstepped his invitation in asking Annette to accompany him.

Ryuichi sat up and brushed his hair away from his face. “So she likes my music?” His voice seemed deeper now, more serious. Shuichi frowned. It seemed like he was almost a different person. “Why do you like my music?” he directed the question to Annette.

She licked her lips briefly before replying, “It makes me…feel things.” she said a little hesitantly. “Like when Shu sings.”

Ryuichi turned his head briefly to glance at Shuichi who was still lying prone on the couch, not game to make a move and disturb this new and strange Ryuichi. “So you’ve heard Shuichi sing?”

Annette nodded.

“And you like what you hear?”

Again, she nodded.

“Hmm,” Ryuchi leant back a little more, settling Kumagoro absently in his lap. “At least you do have an ear for talent. Perhaps that is a good thing.”

K was watching this conversation carefully. He had abided by Tohma Seguchi’s wishes and ensured that nothing was said to Shuichi about his relationship with Yuki, however if anyone might open that particular can of worms, it would be Ryuichi. And probably deliberately as well. He was beginning to wonder if he wasn’t going to have to leap, literally, into the middle of things and tackle Ryuichi before he let too much out. Ryuichi lived by only one set of rules –his own.

“Well, you are pretty and obviously intelligent, but you do know that Shuichi comes from a different world to you? He was only loaned to you.”

Annette stared at him with wide eyes, beginning to look a little scared. “Ryu…i…chi..” Shuichi stammered, attempting to sit up, concerned for her. Why was Ryuichi being so mean to her? What was he doing?

A hand reached out and pulled him upright, before snaking over his shoulders and hugging him tightly against Ryuichi’s side. “Shuichi belongs to my world. He belongs to the whole world, his songs touch everyone’s heart. And there is another he belongs to, in a way that you will never be able to touch, no matter how much you try.”

What….? Shuichi’s mind grappled with this. What was Ryuichi saying? What did he mean ‘belong to another’? Just what was going on?

Ryuichi suddenly stood and walked over to the corner bar, pouring a drink and taking a sip. No-one spoke.

“Did you know that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo?” Ryuichi suddenly said into the silence. All eyes turned to him and he looked calmly back at them, Kumagoro held on his shoulder and watching them all with its bright button eyes. The silence lengthened…and lengthened.

Then there was a snicker from Shuichi. Silence. Another snicker, slightly louder. Silence. Then the snicker became a chortle, which turned into a chuckle, before bursting out into a full fledged laugh.

“A duck’s quack…” Shuichi gasped out between laughs, “doesn’t echo!” His laughter increased. “A duck…” and he stuck his hands under his armpits and flapped his elbows up and down a bit, “Quack…” His hands now came together to form what could be the shape of a duck’s bill, opening and closing them.

Ryuichi was now laughing with him just as hard, mirroring Shuichi’s movements, made all the more amusing due to Kumagoro trying to join in also. All other eyes flicked back and forth between them.

“What’d I tell you?” Suguru stated rhetorically, falling into a chair nearby, a disgruntled expression on his young face. “They’re both idiots!”

“Let’s get ice-cream!” Ryuichi suddenly said, grabbing Shuichi’s hand and dragging him towards the door. “Come on, K! We’ll go get ice-cream for everyone!”

“But, Ryuichi….” Shuichi started to say as he was bodily dragged from the room.

K stood and followed them, “Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on them. Just wait for us. Sakano, can you make sure the Shindou family gets here safely?”

“Of course,” Sakano pushed his glasses up his nose with one elegant finger. “Just be sure to not lose either of them.”

K gave a jaunty wave, and pulled out his gun with a grin, “Oh, I won’t lose them,” he said, with an evil laugh.

Annette shivered. They were all so bizarre!

*********************

“So is Shuichi going to sparkle again?” Ryuichi suddenly said as they walked down the street, Kumagoro swinging back and forth between them, one paw held by Ryuichi, the other by Shuichi.

“Sparkle?” Shuichi queried, glancing at the older man.

“He means sing,” K translated from where he was walking behind them.

“Ah, well, I do still sing. A bit.” Shuichi replied. Ryuichi came to a stop suddenly, jerking Kumagoro from Shuichi’s grip.

“No! No, no!” Ryuichi said emphatically waving Kumagaro around to emphasise each word. “Sparkle, sparkle! Like before! On stage. The lights, sparkle brighter than the lights. Sparkle brighter than everyone. The shiniest person there!”

“Ah,” Shuichi was a little overwhelmed at this outpouring of intense emotion. He wasn’t quite sure he fully understood what Ryuichi was saying but he knew it must have something to do with his singing and Bad Luck. Ryuichi did seem to want to encourage him to return to the stage. However, he was still feeling ambivalent as to whether he was ready to go back to that lifestyle.

“Shuichi has to sparkle like before,” Ryuichi said firmly.

“I guess I will if I go back to Bad Luck.”

“Bad Luck, bad smuck!” Ryuichi snorted in a derogatory manner. “Shuichi has to find his sparkle first.”

“I thought that was my singing?” Now Shuichi was really feeling confused.

Ryuichi suddenly reached out and placed a hand over his heart and said in a serious tone, “You have to find it here. Remember.”

Shuichi looked deeply into Ryuichi’s dark eyes, seeing a completely different person to the one who had just been walking beside him. This was the second time he had seen this change. He wasn’t frightened by it, however strange it was. It just made what Ryuichi was saying at these times that much more important to listen to.

Ryuichi held his gaze then suddenly he hit Shuichi over the head with Kumagoro. “Shuichi is so stupid sometimes!” he stated airily and turned to skip away. “Ice-cream, ice-cream. Let’s all have ice-cream!”

K closed the gap to draw closer to where Shuichi was still standing looking a little stunned at the sudden Ryuichi personality switch once more. “Well, that’s Ryuichi all over for you,” he said calmly. “We’d better follow him or he’s bound to get side-tracked by something, and goodness knows what’ll happen then. Besides we don’t want everyone worrying too much if we’re held up. Sakano would never forgive you if you went missing again and gave him another ulcer!”

“Oh, okay,” and they followed in Ryuichi’s wake, Shuichi still trying to fathom out what the man had meant. He knew it was really important, he felt it, but the full meaning was remaining tantalizingly just out of reach in his mind.

***************

They returned not long after carrying ice-cream for everyone. They were able to do this because K had insisted on buying a couple of tubs of the confectionary, and the cones separately, instead of the ready to eat cones that Ryuichi had wanted. The thought of trying to carry a number of melting, dripping ice-cream cones back to the hotel made Shuichi shudder with horror. K’s idea was much more sensible.

Once back in the room, Ryuichi took on the role of host gleefully, happily scooping the ice-cream out of the tubs, and piling the cones higher and higher. Each person quickly realized that it was up to them to rescue their portion or Ryuichi would just keep stacking it higher which would only lead to disaster.

Soon they were all grasping an ice-cream cone in hand, and had to admit that Ryuichi did have the right idea.

“Yuki should have been here for ice-cream, too, but he probably still can’t come over.” Ryuichi said, wiping ice-cream over Kumagoro’s face.

Shuichi dropped the ice-cream he was holding, ignoring the wet, splonking sound it made as it impacted with the floor and the splatter it sent across the legs of his jeans.

“Yuki’s here? In New York?”

“Yuki got sick, so he had to go and get better,” Ryuichi said in a light tone, still trying to feed his ice-cream to the unresponsive Kumagoro. Ryuichi’s face fell a little. He cast a hurt look towards K. “Kumagoro doesn’t want any.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, Ryu. He probably doesn’t want to spoil his dinner.”

“Oh,” and Ryuichi cheered up at that and settled back to eat his ice-cream himself.

“You said Yuki was sick?” Shuichi finally managed to find his voice again after the initial shock.

Ryuichi nodded, “He got really sick when he arrived here. He had to go to the hospital.”

“What?! He’s in hospital?” Shuichi was shocked.

Ryuichi nodded again, eyes fixed on the boy’s face. “Yes, he collapsed three days ago.”

Shuichi didn’t notice the change coming over Ryuichi’s face, the child-like expression slipping away.

“What hospital?” Shuichi demanded. “You’ve got to tell me!”

“Do you really want to see him?” Ryuichi asked, his voice quite serious, although Shuichi was oblivious this time to the sudden switch once more and missed the intelligent gleam in the other man’s eye.

“Yes! I have to!”

“Okay,” Ryuichi told him the name of the hospital and Shuichi spun around and sprinted from the room, not hearing Annette’s surprised cry of “Shu!” following him.

He jumped into a taxi directly outside the doors, little knowing that Ryuichi had already arranged for it to be ready and waiting there. He gave the hospital’s name and address and promised to double the fare if the driver shortened the time of the journey. This was more than enough to spur the driver away from the kerb with a screech of tyres and smoke and with enough force to press Shuichi back into the seat.

He stared out the window at nothing, not seeing the scenery passing by. He unconsciously gnawed at a nail, worry churning his stomach. Yuki was in hospital. What had happened? What was wrong with him? Why had he collapsed? He had been fine when he had left Quebec City only a few days ago. Hadn’t he been?

Shuichi froze. Had Yuki been ill the whole time, even before this? Had he been ill and he hadn’t even noticed? How could he have been so self absorbed not to have known, not to have seen?! A tear trickled from the corner of his eye, following the contour of his cheek, to trail to the tip of his chin, before falling to his hands clenched in his lap.

Yuki was sick. He didn’t know how bad, or what was wrong. He just knew he had to see him. He wouldn’t leave him there; alone, hurt. He had to be there for him. After all, Yuki had been there for him all this time. It was the very least he could do. He owed the man so much!

Further tears fell on the backs of his hands. Angrily he reached up and brushed them away from his face. Crying wasn’t helping anyone, he thought angrily. He had to think of Yuki!

He was thrown forward suddenly and looking up saw they had arrived at their destination. He pulled out his wallet and tossed over a wad of cash, more than honouring his promise. “Keep the change,” he said as he disappeared out the door leaving the cab driver still looking stunned at his good fortune.

Shuichi pushed the doors open and ran straight to reception. “Can you tell me which room Eiri Yuki is in, please?” he pleaded, looking at the nurse with wide eyes. “Please?”

“What was the name?”

“Eiri Yuki,” Shuichi repeated.

The nurse clicked away on the computer then looked up to where Shuichi was nearly crawling over the top of the desk in his worry. “Sorry, sir, but Mr. Yuki checked out at lunchtime.”

Shuichi gaped at her, not believing what he was hearing. “He’s….gone?”

“Yes, sir,” she replied. “He checked out earlier today.”

“Oh,” Shuichi felt his heart plummet. “Oh, I see.”

“I’m sorry,” The nurse said taking in his crest-fallen expression.

“Thank you,” he remembered to say as he turned away.

He stepped away from the counter. He stood there, feeling somewhat deflated after his mad dash here. Yuki was gone. Well, that must mean that he was okay, mustn’t it? They wouldn’t let him go if he was really sick surely? So that was a good thing.

Suddenly as an image flashed through his mind. Yuki, lying in a hospital bed, golden hair spread over the pillow, pale, with a drip in his arm. In his mind he could remember snatches of conversation, ‘…you shouldn’t be with….need to get away….think of your health…get away from the source of my stress…not targeting your relationship…think of your condition….break up…’’ Yuki had been coughing up blood, he was admitted to hospital. They had said it was due to stress. Stress from …..

His stomach cramped harder, pain shooting through him. He was having trouble breathing, his eyes watering, his vision darkening. Yuki! He had been sick before - he knew he had! He had thought he was going to die, that he was going to lose him! He had been so scared!

He made a staggering run to the bathroom, barely making it in time, where he violently threw up, retching until there was nothing left in his stomach, feeling it continue to cramp, doubling him over with pain. His head was pounding and he felt so hot, as though a fever was burning inside, deep in the pits of his soul.

He weakly left the stall and staggered to the washbasin, gripping the edge for support so hard his knuckles were white and he could feel his fingers begin to hurt. With a shaky hand he turned on the faucet, leaning down to splash the cold running water over his heated skin. He lifted his head, taking in a deep gulping breath, trying to gain better control of his body.

The face that stared back at him was like that of a stranger. Water fell from the spiky hair framed around the stark white face, drips trailing down his face, tracking down his cheeks like tears. Tears…he watched them as they fell. They were tears he realized. The large eyes looking back at him were bleak, almost dead-looking, except for the fear that still lingered there in the depths.

Another picture flashed into his mind; an image of himself crying by the bed as he looked on Yuki’s slumbering form. He could hear his own voice saying that he would die if Yuki left him. His hand unconsciously lifted to tightly grip his shirt directly over his heart, bunching the material up. His body was shaking with the intensity of the emotions crashing through his soul. Tears continued to fall from his eyes, but he didn’t see them. He saw nothing around him as his vision focussed inwards.

He could remember his surprise and relief when Yuki spoke to him whilst he stood there beside the bed, when he said he wouldn’t leave, the relief and joy and…

He doubled over again, head hanging almost fully in the basin as he gasped, struggling to breathe as his mind and body were flooded with this overload of emotions and sensations.

Yuki! He hadn’t wanted Yuki to leave, he hadn’t wanted him to go and leave him. He couldn’t have borne it if he had! Like now….

His body shuddered. He hadn’t wanted him to leave! His legs could no longer hold him and he collapsed slowly into a huddled heap on the tiled floor, hands still gripping the porcelain basin above.

Yuki!

He continued to cry.

*****************

Hiro looked up as he heard the door open and Shuichi entered slowly. He looked dreadful, face pale as a ghost, eyes red-rimmed, clothing crumpled. Hiro immediately got to his feet, concerned that the worst had occurred, judging from the blank expression on his friend’s face.

“Shu?” he questioned reaching a hand out to comfort if need be. Had Yuki been more ill than Ryuichi had indicated? Had he…..

Shuichi looked up after a moment and gave a wane smile. “Yuki had already left,” he said in a soft voice. Hiro felt a wave a relief flood through him. Thank goodness for that! He really had feared the worst.

Shuichi then turned to face Ryuichi. “Do you know where he’s gone?”

Ryuichi lifted Kumagoro to his ear and nodded his head as the stuffed animal jiggled as though speaking. “Kumagoro says that he went back home.”

“Is he all right?”

More silent conversation. “He was pretty sick, but he should be okay once he’s home again. There are people there to look after him.”

“I see.” Shuichi said quietly, looking down at his feet again.

“Shu,” Annette half whispered at his side, not knowing what to do. She had never seen him looking like this before. It was as though all the life had been drained from him, leaving nothing more than a shell. He didn’t answer her.

“Well,” K spoke up, breaking the building silence. “I think it’s time for us to finalise our plans.” He turned to Hiro and Suguru. “I’ll collect you when it’s time to go.”

He stood and began to make his way to the door when Shuichi’s voice stopped him. “I’m going too.”

K slowly turned to see Shuichi looking steadily at him, his jaw set in a firm stubborn line that K recalled seeing at times before.

“I want you to get me a ticket as well.”

“Are you sure?” Hiro asked quietly.

Shuichi nodded. “Yes. It’s time I went home.”