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Awakening	By : Demonic_Host Category: Pokemon > General Views: 19514 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 6
Disclaimer: I do not, nor have I ever, owned anything related to rights to Pokemon nor do I make money off of my fanfiction.

Chapter List
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A/N: Autocorrect is a funny thing. Sometimes it's the most helpful thing in the world but other times it makes the weirdest, most unhelpful fixes. Last chapter was riddled with the later rather than the former. I apologize for that. Unfortunately I still find that it's easier to me to write chapters using my phone as I'm either just getting up or going to bed. Maybe I'll just stop posting them right away to try and make up for that...

Awakening
Chapter Thirty-three

The eeveelutions all stood in relative silence as the floodgates expressed how much shame you felt at the whole situation. You weren't loud when you cried, it was mostly just the heavy breathing that was any indication. Regardless it was still a sight that they weren't ready to handle. Other than Nox and Ember none of them had seen you in such a sadden state. Rorsh had helped you recover from other issues growing up but never something that was caused by him directly. He took a half step forward but stopped when he saw that you flinched in towards yourself. His lilac head dropped, nose practically touching the ground as his ears pushed back. The others might have been subject to witnessing this moment for you but he could feel it on top of them.

The closer he got the more he felt it gripping inside of him. It raced through his body, making him feel worse than he'd ever really felt before. Psychic pokemon bonded with their rightful trainers in a way that many couldn't handle; it was more so for him. The connection was generally one way with the psychic pokemon doing all of the work on an unconscious level. With you, your mind and aura had fused with him even before he became an espeon. Ever since he'd gotten his psychic abilities that bond had only strengthened. It had become so strong that even after he left to learn how to be better, it had barely weakened. The bond had been fully intact when he had finally returned to you. And right now he could feel every negative emotion that spilled over, slipping along the bond and pour directly into him.

"Love is stupid, it's irrational and it hurts," Rorsh spoke out. "But it's real. Society tries to tell you who to love and why as you grow up. If it doesn't match the ideal state it's shameful. But shame doesn't make it any less real. I love you, we all do. And you love us, I know you do. It's just that our love doesn't match up with society's ideals because we're not human. I know that and it's not something I can fix."

You could hear every word as he 'spoke' but you didn't respond to him. What could you say? That he was right? That you were ashamed? It was true. You felt it on so many different levels you didn't know which way was up and which way was down. It felt like that was all you could feel. Shame; shame and all the sub-emotions that went with it.

"I'm not sorry for loving you. I won't apologize for that. I'm sorry that I'm not human. If I could really be one outside of dreams, I would be...for you. Because that wouldn't change how I feel but it would help you feel better. But I can't do that either. I can't do a lot of things," Rorsh continued to admit as he crept closer.

Some part of you wanted to look up to see the expression on his face when he said that. You didn't, however, because your head felt like it was a million pounds. The fact that it hadn't rolled off of your shoulders was a surprise. Besides you weren't sure if you would ever be able to look him in the eyes again. The way that Jolteon kept suckling only reminded you of how horrible of a person you were. He might love you but you couldn't help but feel guilty over that too.

Rorsh and Nox both had evolved because of you. They'd practically had their paths decided because of you; each evolved at different times because you'd needed them. Rorsh had also chosen to evolve into an espeon instead of potentially becoming a sylveon because he thought you needed that connection. Nox had done the same thing because you'd been afraid of the dark and the ghost types which had been prancing you. Rorsh had run away to learn how to be a "man" so you could take your attention off of Max and stop repressing your powers. He had turned to sexually desiring you in order to do that. You weren't sure why Nox and Ember had both chosen to explore those taboo feelings but that had to be your fault somehow too.

Now Jolteon was stuck with a mother who, if anyone found out about what had happened, would probably be locked up for bestiality. Not to mention you'd broken down when Max and many other trainers needed your help. That thought by itself made your stomach flop in guilt. Pokemon were being stolen and all you could do was cry about your own woes.

"What I can do is take Nox and Ember with me to help your friend. I can make that okay at least. And when we come back and you've calmed down we will name our son."

Names. None of them had even gotten to pick their own names. You'd done that to them too. It seemed like such a minor thing at the time but now that Rorsh brought up naming the Jolteon whom was quickly falling asleep in the bent of your arm, it seemed like a much bigger deal. You had stipped them of their chance to express themselves to the world. What was worse was that you'd forced human concepts on them for the sake of having something to call them. By doing that you'd forced them into something they most likely never wanted to begin with.

"Eon you stay here with her. Make sure to keep them safe."

And now you were the weak link that needed to be looked after. Your lips felt dry and your face felt tight from how many tears had already blazed a trail down your face. You were barely able to force yourself to look up when you heard multiple sets of retreating footsteps out of the building. There was a large sensation that welled up in you, wanting you to stop them from leaving. It felt like they were marching off to battle and you didn't want that. You wanted them to stay safe. At the same time every muscle felt like it had locked up. Your head dropped once more as Eon moved over to you.

Eon didn't give you much of a choice as he wrapped his ribbons around you. They had a soft, satin like feel and a vaguely sweet scent as he hugged you with them.

"I love you. I love you," his whispers seemed to never end. You weren't sure if that made you feel better or worse about yourself. "It'll be okay. You'll see."

"How will this ever be okay?" You finally managed to get out.

"We will all make it okay."

You doubted that Eon ever really understood what was wrong to begin with. He hadn't been as exposed to human society as the other two. He'd grown up in an environment that was painted with all the warning signs you should have seen. To him, it was probably natural that a human and a pokemon could raise a family together. That's pretty much what you had done with him. He was Rorsh's son; nearly hand selected by Rorsh himself to be raised with you. To him that was natural. He didn't understand why you were so repulsed by the intimacy that Ember and you had just engaged in. In fact, you were starting to realize that he might have even though he had been born the same way that Jolteon was...minus the evolution of course. You hadn't breastfed him though, nor had you cleaned up any goop in his eyes after he had hatched in a show of brilliant white light.

"Nothing can make all of this okay Eon. Nothing. I'm a horrible person and there's no changing that."

You felt his ribbons tighten as he shook his head. When he stopped shaking the blue and pink appendages loosened a little from around you.

"No. You're a good person. It's not bad to love, it's not bad to feel happy when you're touched."

He might have said it in an innocent, simplified way but Eon's words touched too close to home. The whole issue was that it really was wrong to feel as good as it did with them- your Pokémon. Not only was it bestiality that you had to contend with but there was also the issue that you had taken advantage of them. Keeping Pokemon was the last form of legal slavery allowed in most of the world. It was wrong to keep them much less let them pleasure you as they had simply because their consent was dubious at best. That was on top of the other issues.

"Please don't leave us."

By coincidence, you felt an unpleasant stinging sensation follow his words. Jolteon's needle like fur brushed you the wrong way as he scooted about along your arm. As your entire body tightened up and stilled as you fought the instinctual urge to throw the source of pain far away from your body, Eon started to panic.

"Please don't leave me. I love you. I will do whatever you want me to do but don't leave. Don't leave."

Eon's passionate plea made you feel even more like shit. Was he really afraid that you would leave him? If anything, he should be the one leaving you. Eon deserved better than a week willed, morally corrupt trainer like you. They all did.

"Mama?"

You looked down at the yellow bundle of static in your arms, waiting for him to say more. After a few poignant seconds it didn't seem like he was going to. Or maybe he didn't know how to. He wasn't a normal pokemon after all. He had come from your body. Human babies took years sometimes before they could speak. By that standard even a word spoken just a few minutes after he hatched was incredible. Especially because you were pretty sure that no one had said that word. Maybe it was because it was more like a sentiment coming from him rather than a word.

"Eon, let me go."

"No!"

"I have to use the bathroom."

Eon looked bashful as he unwrapped his ribbons from around you. You gently sat Jolteon at Eon's feet with the silent understanding that Eon needed to watch him for a minute. Jolteon darted quick as lightning to move between your feet before Eon had time to stop him. You didn't do anything until you got to the small room. You gently pushed Jolteon out and closed the door quickly so you could take care of general cleanup.

Before you walked back out of the room, you stopped to look into the mirror. Your stomach was just the same as ever despite pushing out life. Sure the "egg" had been the size of a grapefruit when it had left you but you would have thought that there should have been some sign. Some way to know that you were pregnant. Women generally got so large it became exceedingly noticeable ⅔ of the way through. For all you knew you were already pregnant again and would be delivering Ember's egg mildly soon.

A shiver raced down your spine as you pulled your eyes away from the mirror and back towards the door. When you opened it you found Eon had a new hat. Jolteon's tiny paws nearly covered Eon's eyes as he laid out along the top of Eon's head. It didn't look comfortable for either of them to be honest.

Jolteon slid down Eon's back which caused the older Eeveelution to yelp in pain. Jolteon paused only for a minute until he was back to racing circles around both you and the fairy type. At the very least you knew that his heart, lungs, and muscles were all working.

"Let's go help the others."
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Awakening