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(Never) Let Him Know	By : Fullmetal_Masochist Category: -Misc Anime > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1808 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters in the series. I am making no money from this story.

Chapter List
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"How did a member of the CCG end up in that prison? Were you undercover or something?" Hide asked Juuzou with caution. I didn't remember seeing the boy there, but of course, I don't know much of what happened during that time anyway.
"Oh, I wasn't a part of the CCG then. I was with Mama when they tried to get her to join their group. She refused them, so they took me as collateral until she changed her mind. I was waiting for her to come back for me when they let everyone go. Mama told me to be good and stay put, so that's what I was going to do. After you tried to get me to leave, the CCG showed up, and they made me go with them."
Hide looked even more confused now. "But, you were introduced as his partner, do they hire people for the CCG so freely?"
Investigator Amon answered, "Not typically. With Juuzou's situation, his knowledge of Ghoul activities, and capability to fight, he was accepted into the program on a trial basis. My previous partner was killed during a recent investigation, so they partnered Juuzou up with me for the time being. The fact that he knows you from that prison and recognizes you as a Ghoul is a very concerning issue for me. By all rights, I should take you both in for questioning."
"But you're not going to do that, because this guy hasn't answered my question. I've lived around Ghouls for most of my life. As long as I behaved the way they wanted, I was treated well. I saw what Ghouls did to humans, and they had no regard for their lives at all. What makes you so different, that you would try to save me?" Juuzou waited for Hide's answer with a goofy expression on his face.
"Because I used to be human once. I didn't want to see anyone else suffer, human or Ghoul. Not all Ghouls are cruel like the ones you knew. A lot of them want to have the chance to live free of the fear of being persecuted for what they are. I was changed into this against my will; I didn't ask to become like this. But what I can do now is prevent any more tragedies from happening. And to do that, we're going to need your help."
The two investigators listened while Hide explained the situation with Aogiri and Kimi's research, leaving out the fact that Kimi herself was a Ghoul. As he finished his story, the two investigators looked at each other, with Juuzou nodding his approval to Amon.
"We've both suffered casualties from that group. My former partner and mentor lost his life to them not long ago. Our organization is new, but has some strong backing in the Japanese government. If we can show that the CCG is here to handle the true criminal Ghouls like Aogiri, and not all Ghouls in general, that would be beneficial to everyone. I don't want to see Ghouls persecuted unfairly due to groups like Aogiri causing fear and panic to spread," said Amon.
Hide nodded in appreciation. "Someone I care for deeply was taken and tortured by Aogiri. They beat him, fed on him, and abused him in ways that are unthinkable. They broke his body and his mind. He had to forget everything to survive in that hellish place. He lost his memories, the good as well as the bad. Aogiri stole his life from him, as well as our happiness. I won't let that go unanswered. You were there, Juuzou. I won't assume that your experience was any better or worse, but you must agree that we both have a common enemy as well as a common goal, right? We are so close to making it possible for Ghouls and humans to coexist without fear or hate."
"Haise... Haise... Let me go! He needs me now, more than he ever has," Kaneki pleaded with me once more in the empty room within the confines of our mind. I'd heard what Hide had to say, that he genuinely felt Kaneki's loss within him so deep.
"Shut up! I know that!" I looked around to see that I hadn't yelled that to the figment of Kaneki within my mind, but to Hide and the CCG investigators he was trying to commit to a truce.
Hide focused his attention back to me, "Hey, hey what's happening, Haise? You're not looking well. What were you shouting about?" He put his hands against my face, gently framing it as he checked on me. It was too much for me to take.
"I-It's nothing, I just needed to... to..." I started to hyperventilate again as Hide pulled me over to a nearby bench and sat me down.
"He's having a panic attack. He's the one you were just talking about, isn't he?" said Amon as he stood over us.
"Yeah, he is. Maybe it'll be best if we stop for today. Can we depend on your support to go against Aogiri?"
Amon nodded his head, "Yeah, we'll work out the details with our department head. We'll withhold our source so it won't be traced back to you or Anteiku. That's a promise. I'll get in touch with you when we're ready to make our move."
"Okay, thanks again."
Juuzou chimed in as they started to walk away, "No problem! Just take care of that guy, looks like he needs you. See ya!"
Face-to-face with Kaneki once again, I struggled to back away but found myself unable to move.
"I know you can let me go at any time, Haise. What's holding you back? You know that there is no real Sasaki Haise now, so why delay this any longer?"
His eyes peered into mine, waiting for an answer. We could both hear Hide's voice echoing in the real world, telling us to hold on and that he was going to get us home soon. I bit my lip and avoided Kaneki's gaze, which gave me away completely.
"You... You love him too, don't you? You've fallen in love with Hide."
I nodded my head, admitting what I'd been trying to deny for so long. I knew that Hide's heart belonged to the person in front of me, but that didn't matter to my own.
"It'll never work, Haise. You know that, right?"
"I-I do. But that doesn't make it any easier for me to stop feeling like this."
Suddenly I was back to reality again, being held in Hide's arms as he rushed into his apartment building. How could I possibly stop feeling this way for him when he's showing so much concern for me? I felt emotionally and physically exhausted and ended up falling asleep before he could even get through his door.
Warm and comfortable, I woke up in my room. It was after midnight, going by the clock on my nightstand. Feeling rested and calm again, I left my room in search of Hide, although I expected him to be asleep by now. The rest of the apartment was dark, though I saw a light shining from the kitchen. He must have left the light on before he went to bed. I walked into the kitchen and saw Hide's blood-smeared face as he froze in place with a raw piece of flesh against his lips. I cried out in shock before stumbling backward against the wall.
"Haise!"
Red, so much red everywhere. Trickling down my arms like little streams, I watched it flow towards the floor.
"Don't bite too deep, I don't want it on our heads if the guy dies," a voice near me said as they licked away the crimson lines as they got closer to my wrists. The wetness of their tongue spreading over my skin made me cringe. Any energy I'd had to try to fight them away had been depleted a while ago. They weren't the first, nor would they be the last to take from me.
"I know the deal, but you gotta admit that this little piece of meat has amazing flavor. If the boss weren't such a crazy fuck, I'd say it'd almost be worth the risk to get a full meal off him. Everyone's taken too much from his arms, but his legs have some good parts as well. Hold him still."
More hands were touching me again, keeping me from moving, even though I'd lost the will to flee already. A searing pain erupted from my right thigh as I saw more red spread across their face, their jaw circling as they chewed me up and swallowed me down. The blood ran down his chin, dripping onto my legs as if it could get back inside me. Even when I closed my eyes, the red still lingered.
"The red, it won't go away! They won't stop..." Coming back to reality was sudden, and it wasn't the cell surrounded by hungry Ghouls anymore, but only Hide holding me once again with a guilty look on his face.
"I'm sorry, Haise. I should have been more careful of where I ate. That triggered another bad memory, didn't it..." It wasn't a question, so much as a statement he didn't need to be confirmed.
I told him of the scene I saw this time, still in a dream-like state as I did so. This was the first time I told him what I saw in a flashback. I didn't want him to know just how bad these flashes were getting, but there was no concealing them now. The barrier between myself and Kaneki must be growing weaker if these episodes are becoming more frequent.
I'm going to have to make a choice soon. This must be what Eto was referring to the last time we met. Whether I choose to stay or go, the effects of either choice will be significant.
"No one is ever going to hurt you like that again. You're safe now," Hide said as he held me close. My trembling body wouldn't stop shaking even with his arms around me.
"Am I?"
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(Never) Let Him Know