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Never Forget Where You've Been	By : BishiMistress Category: +S to Z > Trinity Blood Views: 4142 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Trinity Blood, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Darkephoenix: *bows* a-thank you, thank you! It's not nearly as well thought out as yours, but hopefully this is more exciting than work! enjoy.

DarkCrusnikMagician: Yeah, Alex has made some pretty interesting proclamations, and we'll hafta wait a few more chapters to see how accurate she is, but I guaruntee you won't be disappointed. I'm glad you liked the pics of my 2D childrens. :"> They're so adorable! I was thinking about getting a locket and putting their pics in, but then I thought, you know... a crazy person would do something like that....am I crazy enough to do that? lol anyway, enjoy!

Integra: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter! Yeah, the story is winding down soon and that has something to do with the slow updates. I don't wanna finish it, but we're almost there! Hang on, cause it's gonna end with a bang. read and enjoy!

Min: hey welcome back! better late than never. glad you liked the last chapter too! you got back just in time for my next update! read on and enjoy.

Where did all my reviewers go? Are you still reading? I know I went away for a while, but I still wanna know if you're popping in to read now and again! I hope you're enjoying the twists and turns along the way. Drop me a line and lemme know!

This chapter is dedicated to DCM, who has been working very hard at getting her own business off the ground. Congratulations on your first client and here's to many many more! I'm sending you lots of wishes for success and happiness!

Chapter 30: Another Facet of Your Beauty

April 11,

It has been quite a while since my closing entry in my first journal. A lot has happened to us since then. About three weeks after my last entry, Hugue and I traveled through the Yaegrow Dukedom, skirting the border of the New Human Empire. We came terribly close to the border of the Darkland, but I was foolish enough to believe that we were safe, so long as we remained close to the New Human Empire. We were never far from the edge of their protective domes. I nearly got us all killed. Hugue has fully recovered, but it took him far longer than I. We managed to drag ourselves into a hospital, farther into the Yaegrow lands; as soon as we could struggle further, I got us train tickets into Lithuania. We simply stayed there for nearly two months. I was so worried I was going to lose Hugue, or the twins, but I had to move us. I had to put distance between us and the Darkland.

When you hear such fearful monikers, you never think they�re accurate in any sense. Yet, Darkland is frighteningly accurate. Man has ravaged the lands beyond Yaegrow, and the New Human Empire. The territory�s border seems sharply marked, almost by some endless sheer curtain. The transition into the Darkland is marked sharply by the eternal night that blankets the terrain, shielding everything from prying eyes. Even with my Crusnik eyes I could not see more than five or six yards into the lands beyond the Yaegrow border. I should have known. I should have felt it in my bones that the call I felt was a call to my death; a trap. I should have heeded the warnings along the tall stone walls that border Yaegrow, I should have listened to the people.

They kept telling us not to leave the city�s limits. Such a dirt poor little city, with terrified occupants. I should have known! Hugue begged me not to wander at night, begged me not to tarry near the walls after dark. I went for a walk that night without the slightest thought for the safety of myself or my unborn children. I nearly paid for my mistake with all our lives. I ignored the rumors of the townsfolk when they told us of an ancient monster more fearful than a Methuselah. I knew there were no other Crusniks and besides our kind, what else could be more fearful to a Terran than a Methuselah? I figured it was either a band of rogue Methuselah trying to frighten the people of the nearby towns, or else their own wild imaginings. I was wrong. I have since sent word to Lady Catherina. I wonder if she has told the others of this new foe? I digress...

I was walking along a foot-worn path along the walls of the town we were staying in. It was cool enough I could see my breath rising in white puffs. I was tuned out to the sounds and smells around me. Hugue had insisted on coming with me, all the while begging me to return to our comfy little room with the threadbare sheets. I�d give anything to go back in time and take him up on the suggestion. We�d only been walking about five minutes when a shadowed figure blocked our path. Hugue had his weapon pulled before I even had time to register movement. Hugue got a few good swings in before the figure hurled him against the stones. I�ll never in my life forget that sickening crack/thud as Hugue hit the stone wall.

I wasn�t even given time to run to him. That... creature was on me before I could even blink to clear my vision. He was so fast and powerful. He tried to ensnare my senses, but I was able to at least fight him there. He voiced his surprise that I could struggle against him in that vein. I spat insults at him, threats I can�t remember. It only incited him. He cackled uproariously at my �idle� threats. He taunted me, telling me that Hugue was already dead, that I might as well forfeit my life to him. The thought terrified me and I distracted myself from the fight by trying to listen for a trace of a heartbeat. My distraction was costly as it gave my attacker the edge he needed. He had me pinned, his fangs pressed against my throat, long before I�d realized my mistake.

He toyed with me, taunting me with the information he�d gathered from my own thoughts. I would not beg and I would not cry out and he soon tired of me. He told me he hoped I would go to heaven so that I might make a beautiful angel. He finally captured my senses then, when he sank his fangs into my throat and drank. I was lost to a deafening blackness that pressed in on all my senses. The boys were oddly silent, and I wondered if the stress had already taken them.

I felt a terrible surge, a burning in my veins that was altogether unlike being drained. I felt my own fangs elongating irresistibly, my wings forcing my attacker off my back. I wasn�t aware of the moment when the tides turned, when I broke free of his grasp and pinned him. I must have blacked out or the Crusnik must have taken over in a moment of pure self-preservation. I realized then that I�d turned the tables on him because he�d hesitated, having finally heard the boys� heartbeats. Under my heavily layered clothing, he had not noticed the bulge of my pregnant belly, nor the soft thumping of their hearts. The next thing I remember is a long string of images and the tang of his blood as it poured down my throat. I could taste the subtle mixing of our blood and much as I loathe to admit it, it was frightfully intimate. He was allowing me to see the flow of his life from his mortal years, to the time he was turned by his Master, up to the moment I�d met him. I knew him and he knew me and for those few moments while I stole his immortal life, I felt the deepest intimacy I�d ever known in my life. He spent his last moments in life, marveling at me. He laughed at himself for wishing me an angel, when, in his eyes, I already was one.

I didn�t have the heart to correct him. When his heartbeat stopped I was shocked, like I was slowly realizing it was a nightmare, but knowing at the same time that I couldn�t change the course of it. He was a beautiful man, as most immortals are beautiful. He was white as alabaster, and even in the deep black of night along the Darkland borders, he shown like a precious light at the end of a tunnel. For several minutes I could not drag my eyes away from his porcelain features. I felt overwhelming remorse as though I�d lost someone very precious to me. What a ridiculous sentiment about a man that had just tried to kill me. I felt myself crying as I pulled away to check on Hugue. I felt so exhausted and I had this strange boiling in my veins. My blood was on fire. Hugue�s heart was beating rather steadily, but he was torn up pretty badly.

I couldn�t feel the boys moving. I was so sure I�d lost then. I was crying and crying and I tried to lift Hugue, but I hadn�t the strength. I sat him up against the wall, and laid him against my shoulder and I prayed. I must have passed out because the next thing I remember was being back in our hotel room and rushing for the bathroom. I felt like I would split open from the violence of my cramping stomach. I thought for one wild moment that perhaps this was a Crusnik�s labor but as I continued to vomit I knew that somehow the blood had caused me harm. Then I was panicked that I was miscarrying. I could feel the world tilting as I crashed to the floor. I wanted to call out to Hugue, but I couldn�t find my voice.

When I opened my eyes next, Hugue was kneeling over me, an eye blackened, his entire torso bandaged. His hair was matted to his forehead with dried blood and I couldn�t tell if watching me or moving was causing him more pain. I could have died then, and I would have been at peace if he had just held me. When I came to, somewhere closer to dawn, my entire body was throbbing with a bone-deep ache. Hugue was in a real state by that time and pale as any Methuselah I�ve ever seen. My blood was burning again and my senses were painfully acute. The single lamp that Hugue had lit was dim, but it scorched my eyes as though I were looking straight at the noon sun.

Hugue informed me that for quite some time I screamed and thrashed and that he was unable to rouse me in any way during the whole ordeal. The hotel staff was so frightened that they insisted on calling the local authorities but Hugue successfully threatened them into silence. I was so relieved to feel the boys moving. They were sluggish, sleepy movements, and I could tell that they were as exhausted as I was, but they were still moving. Hugue insisted on taking me to a hospital, but I refused. I was worried that the boys were more vulnerable than they normally were after the ordeal, and the physicians might give me something that would be too harsh for them to handle. Hugue asked if I thought perhaps they were making me sick, but I knew that wasn�t true. They were just as on-edge as I was; I could feel it.

Then Hugue said something that sent a chill down my spine. He said that while I was having these fits on and off, it was like watching me become a Crusnik all over again. Something clicked the moment the words left his lips. It would explain why my senses were so heightened, why my body was aching and burning. I could feel the nanomachines working overtime, tingling through every tiny pathway in my body. I had become something else. Two days later I moved us in earnest. We traveled only by night as the sun caused my limbs to become leaden and weighted, and my skin to prickle painfully. I got us as far away from the Darkland border as possible in one train ride. I carried on through Lithuania until we hit the coast.

I�ve spent every waking moment since that night reading and researching this little predicament. I was hoping that my suspicions would have been disproved, but alas, they have been solidly confirmed. My unwitting Master was a creature more ancient than the Methuselahs, very nearly as old as the Terrans. I feel a bloom of warm affection in my chest every time I think of him, though for the life of me, I can�t explain it. I should hate him for endangering me and my children, but I do not. Even now, I�m filled with such awe that my hand trembles as it hovers above the page, unwilling to commit his name to fragile paper. He was a beautiful man, with few sins upon his soul, despite his long life. He was nearing his tenth century upon the Earth.

I believe that my Master was that creature which Terran have referred to for centuries as Nosferatu. A true Vampire. So, what will my classification be now? I�m no longer a Crusnik, nor am I merely a Nosferatu. I am a curious amalgamation of the evils of this world, that which hunts in the shadows. The Nosferatu texts speak of the Vampiric nature as being an affliction of the soul, while the Crusnik condition is a man-made affliction of the body. Then, are me and my children tainted body, mind, and soul?

I try to tell myself no, that it is merely a curious admixture of powers, but that quiet voice in the back of my head will not be silenced and it whispers of sin. I shall end this atrociously long entry here. I will write more as I learn about the new powers I possess and, of course, about the progress of my sons. For now, it seems that the nanomachines are controlling whatever blood elements lend me Nosferatu powers. For example, I can now walk in sunlight again, I can eat normal food, I can survive silver, though it does smart. Curiously, my tears are tinted with blood, even in my Terran form. I fear many of the pages in this beautiful journal will be stained crimson in the future.

-Alexandra

Integra closed the second journal, tucking it safely into the desk drawer. She had risen that morning with a burning desire to continue the story, as though it were a fabulous novel and not the life story of a woman she was currently working with. Alex had left a note for her, tucked under the door of her room. They were to begin training at sundown and would continue until sunrise. The members of Hellsing had three days to work with the AX agents until they worked as one cohesive, well-oiled machine. Why, the letter did not stipulate, but there was plenty of urgency in the carefully chosen words. Integra was now up, an hour or so before sunset, staring at the drawer where she�d just tucked away Alexandra�s journal. She had the urge to continue reading, to see where the story ended, to hear more of the tormented thoughts of this poor lost woman.

She needed to feed. She could feel her body aching for sustenance and it always took her far too long to find her way around the corridors in the labyrinth known as the Vatican. She left her room, her mind still dwelling on the passages she�d been glued to for the past two nights. In the back of her mind, Integra wondered where her monstrous pet had gotten to, but her need for food overwhelmed the thoughts and drove her towards the kitchens.

Alucard chuckled as he carefully slid open the desk drawer Integra had just abandoned. He ran his hands almost lovingly over the soft leather cover. Alucard was no fool and knew the general story of Alex�s transformation, and they all knew what she was by now, so he couldn�t quite fathom why his beautiful, cold Master was so preoccupied with reading the woman�s story. He also knew that Integra, though she would never admit it, mourned the loss of the possibility of a normal human life. Alexandra was far from a normal human, yet she lived life as a lover and mother. He mused: perhaps Integra was doing a bit of vicarious living? Alucard tucked the black leather tome back into the desk drawer, drifting away trough the walls to find his Master.

Abel watched as the twins and Aurora put their dinner plates in the sink. Aurora was bouncy, as though the night before were a nightmare that dissolved with the morning mist. The boys were staying closer to one another than they had their entire trip, and Cen was being particularly nice toward Abel. He smiled as they all moved to leave the room.

�Daddy Abel! Can we go play in the garden again?�

�I suppose we have a little time until your mother and I start our training. Boys, will that be all right with you?�

�Sure.� The two chimed together and Aurora clapped her little hands enthusiastically. She wrapped one hand around one of Abel�s long, slender fingers, giggling ecstatically as she pulled him along behind her. His glasses bobbled dangerously on the end of his nose and he grinned to cover up the awkwardness he felt as he stooped to remain within Aurora�s grip. Once they reached the garden, Aurora threw her hands into the air, shrieking with joy.

�Aurora, there�s no need to shriek.� Rius chided her gently, but her face crumpled into a pout as though he�d yelled at her quite sternly.

�Sorry.�

�It�s ok, Bug. Screaming is reserved for when you�re in danger and need help, ok? Especially now.� Cen wrapped an arm around Rius and winked at his sister. Another giggle bubbled to the surface, breaking her features into a wide grin.

�Ok! Hide and seek! Daddy Abel�s it!� Aurora tore off through the hedge maze without a backward glance. The twins stared after her for a moment before breaking into mirror mischievous grins.

�You heard her: you�re it!� The two chimed before taking off in opposite directions around the first bend into the maze. Abel smiled into the greenery for a moment before he peeled his outer robe off, his wings slowly breaking through his priest�s uniform. He flew into the hedge at break-neck speed, his wingtips clipping the maze walls. After five minutes of zigzagging, Abel was hopelessly lost, somewhere near the heart of the maze. He was zeroing in on Aurora�s scent, her fluttering heartbeat reminding him was a trapped butterfly. There was a massive weeping willow surrounded by a circular bench at the center of the maze. As Abel neared the willow Aurora readied herself to pounce. She watched his wings flap gracefully as he landed at the base of the tree, looking around for her. The bubbly blonde smiled to herself, thrilled that she was able to hide from him still.

�Aurora? I know you�re around here somewhere.� Abel�s voice came out in a singsong taunt and Aurora covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggle of excitement.

�Daddy Abel!� Unable to contain herself any longer, Aurora jumped from the crotch of the tree, where she�d been well hidden by the sweeping tendrils of the tree. Abel smiled, his wings disappearing the moment before Aurora landed on his back, her little arms wrapped around his neck. Abel laughed away his coughing fit and Aurora disengaged her death grip, slipping down into the whispering grass. Abel turned and touched the tip of a finger to her nose, winking at her.

�Who shall we go after next?�

�Ilarius will be easier to find. Cendricus always finds the best hiding spots, it always take me the longest time to find him!� Aurora beamed excitedly as though her brother�s hiding skills where the stuff of legends and Abel gave a hearty chuckle, ruffling her golden curls. Her blue-green eyes sparkled up at him in the late afternoon light and he felt a swell of paternal pride in the little beauty, though she was not truly his daughter.

�All right then. Hop back on. You direct and I�ll fly.� Abel kneeled and Aurora clambered onto his back again as his wings sprouted on either side of her. Aurora gave a little squeal of elation as the midnight feathers brushed her cheeks.

�Your wings are so pretty! I wish my wings looked like yours and Cen and Rius�!� Aurora adopted an adorable pout that Abel could not see, but heard quite clearly in her voice.

�But you are beautiful the way you are, Aurora! Your wings remind me of a dragonfly�s. They�re like crystals when the light hits them.�

�But I don�t match!� Aurora�s pout was still here, though not as strongly as a moment before.

�That�s why it is so beautiful. In a world of simple black, you are a kaleidoscope of breathtaking color.� Abel smiled at her over his shoulder and she nuzzled just under his ponytail. He felt his chest swell with affection once more and Aurora pointed a little finger to the right, designating their path.

�Let�s go get Rius!� Aurora�s voice was soft, but it held a mischievous undertone that made Abel laugh as he took flight.

Aurora was accurate in her predictions and it only took them a few more minutes to find Ilarius. He soon joined them in their search for Cen. They were getting close, following Cen�s faint scent, when they emerged on the other side of maze. There were rows upon rows of rare and endangered flowers here, perfect to cover his scent. The three of them remained on alert their eyes and ears pricked for movement.

All three started when they heard the first wavering notes of an instrument. A blonde head popped up from somewhere in the back rows of flowers, a look of deep surprise painting its features. Abel, Aurora and Rius were too intent on the playing to notice.

�Mom?� Cen�s question wasn�t addressed to anyone in general, but his siblings nodded in unison.

�Alexandra?� Abel wore a look of deepest confusion. The notes had become more confident, rich and deep, and Abel felt himself shudder involuntarily. Aurora turned her face towards him, her gaze unwillingly breaking from the direction of the sound.

�Mommy plays the cello.� Her little voice was filled with awe, as though she were lost in the most pleasant dream she�d ever had.

�She hasn�t played since Da� Hugue died.� Cen finished the sentence, flushing slightly. He felt a keen stab of shame at so denouncing his father.

�Cen, you don�t have to--� Abel�s words were cut off as Rius gathered Aurora in his arms, his wings spreading. Abel turned his attention back to the two and Cen grabbed his hand.

�Come on.�

Abel didn�t have a chance to protest. They were soon gliding over the large gardens, swooping down hallways until they found their mother in the small courtyard, sitting on another stone bench, her eyes closed as she played. They all landed on the opposite end of the courtyard, staying silent as they watched her play. She sway with the rise and fall of the song, reminding Abel of the movements of the ocean. The song was compelling, sad, but undeniably beautiful, like Alexandra. The children were mesmerized by her playing, drawn in irresistibly toward the sound. Abel followed behind them with silent footsteps, unaware of his forward progress. When Alexandra ended the song, they were all about three feet from where she sat. She opened her eyes slowly, seemingly awaking from a dream herself. She started when she saw them all.

�What are you all doing here, spying on me?� Alex flushed, but smiled at her children.

�Momma, play summore!� Aurora plopped down at her mother�s feet, her dress splaying around her, her eyes glued to the beautiful instrument.

Abel was no musical genius, but he knew what a cello was supposed to look like, and Alex�s was distinctly different. Instead of rich reddish-brown lacquered spruce, the entire instrument was pitch black and had a high gloss. The purfling* was done in chrome, the metal catching the light of the afternoon in flashes as Alexandra moved. Altogether, the instrument looked quite elegant, but had a slight twang of heavy metal. It suited Alexandra�s look, as she was once again wearing leather pants and a beautiful lace corset.

When Abel came back from his curious examination of Alexandra�s instrument, she was watching him intently, ignoring her children�s pleas for more music. Her face was stoic, unresponsive to his warm smile. He tried to probe her thoughts and was shocked to find her mind completely and utterly closed to him. He smiled again, a little nervously and she finally returned his smile, though a little half-heartedly.

�We should be collecting the members of Hellsing. We have combat training tonight.� Alex�s eyes were still locked on Abel and the children quieted immediately, their gazes moving to Abel.

�Alex, it�s all right. They want to hear you play. You play beautifully. I had no idea...� Abel trailed off, his voice growing quiet, a slight note of sadness in his words.

�Abel.� Alex sighed, looking back at him with the same look of sadness and the children�s eyes bounced between them. �One more song, that�s it.�

�Yay! Mommy�s gonna play summore! Eee!�

�Aurora, Chrie, volume control.�

�Oop!� Aurora clapped both hands over her mouth and everyone chuckled as Abel came to stand near his sons.

Alex sat for a moment, a look of contemplation on her face. She let her eyes pass over all her children, finally landing on Abel�s eager face. She smiled softly, taking up her playing position. She began a beautiful song, one that started so softly that they all had to strain to hear her. As the song progressed and grew in the volume, Alex closed her eyes and began moving gently with the music again, the strongest notes played in a moving vibrato. Abel let out a breath he wasn�t aware he�d been holding as the song ended. Alex smiled at her children as she tucked the instrument back in its case. They pouted and protested, but Alex was insistent that she and Abel go get the others. The sun was quickly setting and she bid the boys take the cello back to her room and stow it carefully. Alex touched a finger to an earring, that doubled as a communicator, and gave Instructions for Tres to secure the children in their room and then meet them in the hall they used for practice.

She and Abel walked in silence for several minutes, making slow progress towards the combat room.

�I had no idea you could play.�

�I haven�t in many years. I never did while we were together, so... why would you know?� Her words were gentle, completely without bitterness.

�I still feel as though I should know something so compelling about the love of my life.� Abel was watching her face as they walked, but she�d yet to meet his gaze.

�It�s a trivial thing. I learned when I was young out of obligation. My mother wanted me to learn how to play and I had little choice.�

�Do you not enjoy playing, then?� Abel balked at the idea.

�On the contrary, I love to play more than anything, except, perhaps, flying.� Abel smiled, his gaze finally releasing her, wandering down the hallway ahead of them a ways.

�Where did you get such an unusual looking instrument?� It was a simple question, in Abel�s mind, yet there was a very pregnant silence that followed it. He looked over at Alex, thinking she was perhaps too lost in her own thoughts to have heard him. She wore a deep frown on her porcelain features, a frown that would have rivaled her former husband�s any day. Abel thought his initial reaction was correct and that she�d let her mind wander from he conversation. He was about to repeat the question, when Alex finally answered.

�It was a gift from a long time ago.�

Alex rounded the corner rather sharply, her pace quickened as they followed the final corridor leading to the combat room. Abel noticed her change in mood and sagely remained quiet, decided to let her work it out in combat training.

*purfling is the raised decorative edging that outlines a cell, it's usually done in wood as well.
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Never Forget Where You've Been