Poisoned Rationality

After a brief visit to the car to drop off their bags, they sat in a bar overlooking the canal. Lights played on the water below but couldn\'t penetrate its blackened depths. Mello stared into it like the answers could be scryed, his eyes taking on the intensity of solving the puzzle. Matt left him to it to have a cigarette outside. Despite the earlier snow, the temperature was dipping again and he worried about black ice on the road surfaces for their journey home. Moths flew past his face, attracted by the lights of the heater, but their landing there was the last thing that they did. Matt turned his back on their suicidal flight and gazed out across Camden. By the time he\'d smoked down to the last ember, he understood.



Picking his way through the PVC chairs, he rejoined Mello. "Near\'s not looking for us. He\'s looking for what we represent."



"Yes." Mello smiled back.



"You told him that all he had was being L. You taunted him because he hadn\'t tried sex, drugs and rock\'n\'roll. That\'s the missing link between playing with toys of us and wandering off."



"Yes."



"So why are we in Camden?"



Mello frowned, then rolled his eyes. "Because if I know about it to rub it in his face, I must have it. He misinterpreted what I meant." A faint smile played upon his lips. "Near\'s studied the pair of us to see what he\'s missing. The clothes on the doll of me were bought in LA and he wasn\'t going to go there." Mello\'s smirk grew wider and he leaned forward. "I\'ve enjoyed watching you today. The music is still shit, but it\'s been really lovely watching you coming out of your shell again. Regardless of whether we find the rugrat here or not, I\'m glad we came."



Matt smiled. "Been a bit weird having you here, to be honest. Like two worlds colliding, but in a good way."



"I know one thing," Mello traced the contours of Matt\'s finger through their gloves, "I\'m going to have your arse the second we\'re somewhere a bit more private."



"Orly?" Matt peered up under his fringe. "There\'s a big hotel about thirty yards down this canal." He stopped. Their eyes locked in mutual realisation. They stood together and ran, out of the door, over the bridge and down the stone steps to the towpath. Boots thundered onto the sodden mud and splashed through puddles, the stagnant stench suggesting unimaginable things in the murky waters. Within seconds, the lights of the large building illuminated their darkness. Matt panted, "Mell, there\'s loads of hotels in Camden, but this is the most anonymous. This the chain one."



"Thanks." They had to walk a little further to be able to leave the canal\'s edge, then to double back on the other side of the stone wall. Corporate cars lined the carpark and a uniformed man opened the glass door for them to pass. They crossed a plush foyer to loiter at the desk. The receptionist flashed a practiced smile, which nontheless felt warmly welcoming. "Right, yes." Mello straightened to his full height and smiled at her. "My little brother is missing and we have had word that he might be here under an assumed name." He described Near and knew without being told that the description was recognised. Mello saw her hesitation and pressed home his advantage. "He has Asperger\'s Syndrome and will be very frightened and confused. Our Mum is worried sick about him. Please will you give me his room number."



They entered the lift armed with the information. Matt frowned, "She had no idea what Asperger\'s is! You could tell by how panicked she looked." He glanced at Mello\'s smug grin. "And you are just as bad." Mello\'s grin just widened and the lift door opened. "Hold on, let\'s discuss this." Mello scowled at him, but Matt pulled him around the corner into a corridor. "Listen to me, you sexy piece of..." He ran his hands under Mello\'s jacket to gain his attention. Faced with a curious, blue-eyed stare, Matt kissed him. "You\'re the fucking genius who solved this one in, how many hours? I dunno, nine? You owned it from start to finish, while I only had it narrowed down to a country. That\'s why you\'re first and I\'m third. It\'s all good. But," he licked his lips and kissed Mello again to give himself thinking time. Mello raised his hands and pushed gently against his chest. He looked like the cat who\'d got the cream. "Erm, yeah. Mell, I trust you but, erm, what are you going to do when you get in there?"



"I don\'t know." Mello blinked slowly, his gaze serpentine. "I find it hard to believe that I think that far ahead."



"Right, that\'s what I was afraid of." Matt shifted position better to trap the blond against the wall. "Mell, I know you were talking bollocks down in that reception, but the fact is that Near really might be a bit fucked up in there. Let me be the one to speak with him, please?"



"Because your social skills are so finely tuned that they just sparkle with all the right words to say?"



Matt bit his lip. "Please? You could go downstairs and get us a room, then after I\'ve dealt with this, you can take all that pent-up emotion out on me. Right?"



Mello\'s hands crept up to caress Matt\'s neck and he leaned forward, just inches from his lips. "But I plan to do that anyway." The way Mello kissed him sent shivers down Matt\'s spine. It was predatory and dangerous, more feeding off him than an expression of love. It was Mello, hot and cold, coiled for the attack and calculating. He eased back with a vampiric smile and a look which weakened Matt\'s knees. "Oh, yes. I have plans for you later, Matty." Fingers ran down the redhead\'s chest, then Mello was unaccountably out of his grasp. He was racing down the corridor searching for Near\'s room.



"Mell!" Matt ran after him, but the blond raised his hand for silence. He had found the door and was listening at it. A faint frown appeared on his face. "What is it?"



Mello knocked on the door. A female voice called out, "Who is it?"



"Room service, ma\'am." Mello called back, placing his hand over the spy-hole.



The door opened and a woman in her late thirties was viewed through the crack. "We didn\'t order any..." Mello smacked the door and it swung back to hit her bodily. "Oy! What the fuck ...?"



Mello\'s Beretta was already in his hand as he strode into the room, leaving the door wide open behind him. Matt could see the huge man looming in the main room, dwarfing Mello\'s slender form. He could also practically see the Mafioso shadows rising around his lover and filling the room. Mello snapped out. "And who the Hell might you be?" Guns were cocked and there was a stand-off. Matt slipped inside and closed the door behind him, keeping close to the woman. Heavily made up and scantily clad, she was looking beyond Mello for instructions from the man. "Actually there\'s no need to tell me. I know your sort and guess what? You are so out of your depth right now." Matt didn\'t need to see the look on Mello\'s face to imagine it. "Why don\'t you pick up your deliveries and just run along like a good babbo?"



In that moment of tension, some kind of exchange must have taken place. Some whispered code or hand-signal or display of a mark that Matt knew nothing about, because the giant of a man lowered his gun. Sweat glistened on a paling face and his eyes darted like a trapped animal. It seemed inconguous to all watching that he turned his weapon and offered it, in a perfect show of submission, to the younger, smaller, so much more easily overpowered Mello. "Sir."



Mello cocked his head to one side and Matt could picture the smirk. Mello\'s gun dipped only slightly. He spoke evenly enough, but there was a dangerous edge to his tone. "Are you hurt?" He turned his head ever so slightly sidewards. "I\'m talking to you."



Near\'s voice cut through the room. "No."



Mello indicated the packets of drugs on the table. "Take them. Leave. Take your whore with you. Do it now." Beside Matt, the woman moved into the room and gave Mello a wide berth as she collected up her clothing. The man fumbled in shoving packets of white powder into his pockets. There was the snapping of chocolate between teeth. Never had the eating of confectionary sounded so threatening. Matt leaned back against the wall, lighting a cigarette. He straightened slightly, to remove his feet from the exit route, as the couple rushed past him. The door clicked shut behind them and Matt stared at it. "Near."



"Mello."



If anything, the atmosphere felt more loaded. More menacing. More akin to a bomb about to detonate. Mello\'s gun rose again from his side and pointed straight out into the room. "Where\'s Hal to save you now?"



There was a scrambling sound, but Matt was already running into the room. Near had found some white pyjamas again. He had dived into a rucksack and was now unwrapping something from a cover of black velvet. It was a Beretta. Near turned and held it out in front of him, both hands covering the firearm, both arms rigidly straight. One eye closed, the other wide. It was being aimed straight back at Mello. Matt sighed, leapt over the bed and stood between them. He braced, with his legs apart, body twisted to present Near with his chest and Mello with his back. One hand reached into the back of his collar and the other into the waistband of his jeans, he withdrew two semi-automatics and held them out before and behind him, covering both irate geniuses. Matt turned his head towards the window, then closed his eyes. Mello sniggered and bit into his chocolate.



Matt spoke through his cigarette. "Near is that loaded?"



"Yes. I used .22 Short bullets for ammunition because it is a Beretta .22 Short calibur pistol. I have turned it 180 degrees clockwise and all of the red lights are lined up."



"But you\'ve never fired a gun before in your life?"



Near\'s closed eye opened in surprise. He fastened a fierce gaze onto Matt. Then he looked away. "No. Mello is holding his gun incorrectly. If he fires his gun from that angle, he will hurt his wrist. The correct way to hold a gun is to steady it in both hands, but keep your fingers off the chamber until you are ready to fire. Once the three red lights are lined up, you may put your finger on the trigger and fire."



"Right." Matt breathed smoke and debated spitting out the cigarette, unable to remove it in the ordinary way for air. He opened his eyes to watch the scene in the darkened window. "I warrant that Mello is quite capable of firing that gun without injuring himself. Mell, Near is frightened and he has a loaded piece pointed at me. Please?"



"Just move then, Matty." Mello smirked. "You\'re the one who put yourself there. What do you calculate your chances of survival to be if you remain put?"



"About 5%." Matt spat out the cigarette and crushed it under his boot. "It might not look like it to you, but Near is scared. He\'s jumpy. He could fire accidentally and I\'d be dead. You wouldn\'t shoot me in normal circumstances, but, to get at him? I don\'t know, Mell. You might. You\'re just single-minded enough."



"Then move."



"No, because if I do then one or both of you will get killed. The 5%, by my reckoning, is me standing here and both you having some reason not to want me dead."



Mello sucked chocolate loudly. "Matt, you\'re really shaking. You\'ve got your fingers on the triggers. In reality, it\'s me and Near who should be worried." His snicker grated like nails drawn along the glass of their psyches. "It\'s like being in kindergarten watching the children play. Look at you both. I could clip you before it even occurred to you to squeeze."



"No." Matt breathed. "You\'d take me out, because he can\'t read your body language. You move an inch and he\'ll shoot me." Outside the snow was falling again. Matt watched it pass through their ghostly aspects. "Near, Mello, please? This is going to go on until one of you lowers your gun. Please don\'t ask me to try and out-think you both. I can\'t do it. I was just the third." He tried to keep the quiver out of his voice. "I promise, on my life, to stay here until neither one of you is in danger. There\'s no loss of pride in doing it, if you do it at the same time. If I count to three and you put the guns away."



"No, it won\'t work." Near snapped, irritated. "Mello will just point his gun again, and laugh at me, the second I point mine towards the floor in the safe position."



"Then I\'m going to die." Matt swallowed hard. "Near, if Mello really wanted to do anything else but fuck with your head, he would have killed you already. Mello, keep me safe?"



Mello blinked in surprise, the progress of his chocolate arrested inches from his mouth. Before he could react, Near spoke up again. "I don\'t want Mello to fuck with my head. Are Mello and Matt having a sexual relationship with each other?"



"That\'s none of your business." Mello glared.



"Mello loves Matt and he is using Matt\'s body for sexual gratification." Near concluded firmly. "Mello is a homosexual."



Mello roared back, "At least I don\'t have to rent a fucking prostitute to lose my virginity! You think I don\'t know what\'s been happening in here?" He took a step away from the units and both Near and Matt\'s arms twitched. "Matt, you\'re trembling like a fucking..."



"How do two males have sex?"



Matt barked back, "Near, these are inappropriate questions. Look it up on the internet later, ok?"



"Matt is crying." Near had opened his eye again to stare curiously at his former friend.



"Because I\'m really scared, Nate." Matt gulped. "I don\'t think Mello will shoot me, because I\'m reading that he\'s calmed down now. He\'s just pointing that at me, because you are pointing your gun. He won\'t lower it until you do. You, on the other hand... I don\'t think you have had any training on using it and I know that underneath that ice-calm exterior, you are scared too. I know what it feels like to be shot. You have no idea what it feels like to shoot someone else. I believe that you are going to make a mistake because you are under stress. You will be the one to shoot me and then Mello will shoot you."



"Mello doesn\'t love Matt enough to lower his gun first." Near countered. "He has too much pride not to outlast me."



"I know." Matt bit his lip, trying to keep his voice steady.



Mello laughed aloud and pushed his Beretta back into his waistband. Two sets of eyes glanced in his direction, as he bypassed Matt\'s gun and wrapped his arms around the redhead\'s neck. "You don\'t half talk some bollocks you know." His lips sought out Matt\'s and sucked suggestively upon them. Mello\'s tongue slithering out to taste the inside of his lover\'s mouth, eyes closed, body pressed against him. He licked the tears from Matt\'s cheeks. "I do love to watch genius in action. Just enough logic and emotional blackmail there, Matty, to persuade us both. Plus you got him to say it, so you didn\'t have to look like you didn\'t trust me. You\'re a manipulative bastard, but I love you." His gaze slid across to meet Near\'s, but the white-haired teenager immediately looked away. "Well, did you solve the puzzle?"



Near slowly lowered his gun, pointing it with textbook precision to the floor. He frowned. Matt\'s hand, still clutching a semi-automatic, snaked around Mello\'s waist. His trembling caused small creaking noises against the leather. "Mello has something so important he was willing to give up being L to indulge it." Near gave them a wide berth, both of his arms still locked in position on the down-pointing gun. He made it to the radiator and crouched down, placing the gun behind him on the floor. There were four identical figurines there. He picked up one and glared at it. "It makes no sense that it\'s Matt."



Mello\'s gaze found his lover\'s and he winked. "Sit down, shut up and have a cigarette. You got us through the \'hello\'." He rubbed his hand against the denim of Matt\'s arse, a finger pressing down into the crack. He took another kiss, his eyes opening seductively on the other side of it. "It\'s ok." With a final pat, Mello turned and stood over Near. "Did you like sex?"



"No. It hurt my skin." Near frowned, his entire attention on two figurines now. "Mello is playing games to mask his wounded pride."



Mello smirked, "Near, it took me a grand total of eight hours and 39 minutes to track you down, from first call to standing in this room. That includes two hours on stuck on the motorway getting here and four hours watching that gorgeous man over there try on clothes. How many seconds are in two hours 39 minutes?"



"159." Near replied instantly, then shrank a little, understanding a moment too late that Mello had set him up. "It didn\'t take Mello 159 seconds to find me."



"Oh, it did. Scary, isn\'t it?" Mello cracked chocolate and sucked on the pieces that shattered into his mouth. "Your teenage angst bores the shit out of me, Near. You can analyse us all you want. You can come here, because you searched for Matt\'s clothing on the internet and found out about cyberpunk. You can have sex, take drugs and listen to our music, but you will never, ever get it. I told you that being L is all you have and I wasn\'t lying. There\'s nothing else for you. I pity you." He smirked. "You will never have anyone who loves you so much that they are willing to die for you."



Near dropped a figurine and pointed, past Mello, to the redhead sitting on the bed. "Matt does. Matt didn\'t let Mello shoot me, even though Matt could have died." Mello emitted a derisive chuckle. "Mello does. In Japan, Mello put his life on the line to save me from the Death Note and so did Matt. Mello and Matt love Near."



Four guns rose into the air like a macabre Mexican wave. Mello\'s, followed by both of Matt\'s, followed by Near\'s. Matt gushed out, "Mell, it was flawless logic. You set the criteria, he followed it through. It\'s an abstract!"



Mello sighed, turning away. "Go home, Near. This is a puzzle you will never solve, which, I think, " he smirked over his chocolate, "makes you the loser." He walked towards the door, pulling his mobile \'phone out on the way. "Coming, Matt?" He paused by the door. "Oh, hello Watari. Mission successful." Mello gave the name of the hotel and room number. "Send someone to get him before another button tries to drug him into serving the sex industry." Mello smirked in satisfaction, licking his chocolate. "Oh! Yes, the Mafia! But I sorted it out. Matt and I are going home now. Goodnight." Mello stepped out, leaving the door open behind him, and his footsteps clipped deliberately as he strode away down the corridor.