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Blind Fury	By : HollowedRose Category: > Durarara!! (?????!! Dyurarara!!) Views: 6534 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!! and its characters. They belong to Ryohgo Narita. I'm not making any profit from this.

Chapter List
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Chapter 34 - Eye Of The Storm
It was still early in the morning when Shizuo started shifting in his sleep, the strong light hitting his face making him scowl. He felt the splitting headache long before he was fully awake, and even though he wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, his eyes unwillingly fluttered open. He groaned and shifted some more, only realizing that he was holding onto something when he felt warm skin beneath his fingers. His brows furrowed in confusion and he slanted his head to see what it was, his eyes widening in shock at the sight of an unconscious Izaya lying on the floor. His face turned as white as a sheet and he withdrew his hand from around the frail ankle before he pushed himself away from the unmoving form as though he'd been burned, a suffocating feeling of self-loathing almost leaving him breathless. He barely restrained himself from screaming in despair, the thought that he had once again assaulted Izaya making him want to run to the nearest window and take a headfirst dive into concrete. He reluctantly allowed his eyes to roam over the skinny form so that he could assess the damage, expecting to find some evidence of the atrocity he had once again committed, but, to his surprise, nothing looked out of place. Izaya's clothes weren't torn as he'd expected, nor was he lying in a pool of his own blood, and after taking a brief look at himself, Shizuo realized that he too was very much dressed. Judging by what he was seeing, nothing happened between them, so he raised a hand to his chest and breathed in relief, a great weight having been lifted off his shoulders.
His eyes left Izaya's form and he took a look at his surroundings, only now realizing that he was most likely inside the man's apartment in Shinjuku instead of his own in Ikebukuro. The last thing he remembered was drinking at the bar, so he had no idea how he ended up sprawled on the floor with Izaya sleeping next to him. His eyes drifted back to the man he had once tried to destroy, the peaceful expression on the flea's face making him wonder how someone like that could be so vicious when awake. Izaya's words from the previous day came to mind, and he realized that it was truly ironic that what it took for the two of them to be able to stand in the same room without activily trying to kill each other was for Izaya to almost die by his hands. Back then, in the alley he never wanted to lay eyes upon again, it felt as though nothing he could do to the flea would ever be enough to sate his thirst for revenge, and had he been in his right mind, he would've realized that leaving him there to die was not something that he could ever forgive himself for. The humane thing would've been to at least call an ambulance after seeing so much blood underneath Izaya's broken form, but he hadn't, because Heiwajima Shizuo was not human; he was Ikebukuro's beast, nothing else.
He saw Izaya shift and he held his breath, expecting the man to freak out and perhaps try to stab him with his switchblade. Brownish-red eyes opened wide, and Izaya stared at him in fear for only a moment before a smirk spread across his face and he started laughing. Shizuo instinctively tried to put some distance between them, but he stopped in his tracks when he heard Izaya's cheerful, yet tinted with malice, voice.
"Ah, ah, don't run, Shizu-chan, not after we've spent such a wonderful night together," said Izaya in an amused tone before he proceeded to get up. He slipped the switchblade into the pocket of his pajamas and watched Shizuo's dilemma on whether to turn around or run away, the protozoan's indecision almost making him laugh. He'd been a bit surprised when he woke up, perhaps even fearful, as much as he hated to admit, but the second he remembered the events of the previous night, he instantly relaxed, even though he was in the presence of the beast.
Shizuo reluctantly turned around, Izaya's terrifying smirk a tell-tale of the hell he had yet to pay for his transgressions. "Look, I'm sorry, ok?"
"Oh, but it's fine, Shizu-chan, because your confession was most entertaining." He expected the brute to feel embarrassed, so he was more than a little surprised when Shizuo's expression morphed into one of confusion. He watched him for a few moments in disbelief. "Don't tell me you―"
"I really don't remember, I swear!" he hurried to answer, because that was the undeniable truth. Whatever he'd done or said to the flea, he couldn't recall.
"Tch! If I knew you wouldn't remember, I would've played with you some more," Izaya said and folded his arms in front of his chest in a display or pure annoyance. "Why aren't you more predictable?"
Shizuo shrugged and cracked a smile, glad to see that Izaya was in a rather good mood for once. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head and nervously laughed. "What exactly did I say?" He immediately regretted opening his mouth, the flea's sadistic smirk telling him that it was best not to know.
Izaya unfolded his arms, lowering one while keeping his right hand above the heart. "Shizu-chan confessed his undying love for me," he said in what almost sounded like a serious tone, and then struggled to not burst into laughter when a myriad of expressions passed the protozoan's face.
Shizuo violently shook his head and backed away until he hit the wall, refusing to believe such a thing.
"Now, now, Shizu-chan, don't be shy. In fact, it would've been adorable," he said and approached the man until he was standing right in front of him, "if not for the fact that you almost fucked me to death."
"I'm sor―" he started saying, but the rest of the words got caught in his throat when Izaya grabbed a fistful of blonde hair, the man's expression turning wild in the span of only a fraction of a second.
"Shizu-chan," said Izaya as he forced a smile on his face, "let's not get into that right now." He released the fake blonde hair and backed away just a bit, immediately raising his arm and pointing towards the upper level of his apartment. "You reek of alcohol, so could you please go brush your teeth? I really can't stand the smell."
Shizuo was too stunned to answer, so he forced his legs to move towards the stairs. Something in the back of his head shouted in protest at allowing the flea to boss him around, but he ignored the annoying voice and kept going, Izaya following closely behind him to most likely make sure that he wouldn't accidentally end up in his room.
"There's a new toothbrush inside the cabinet, so use that one," he said after he opened the door to the bathroom and invited his 'guest' inside.
Shizuo nodded and watched Izaya walk out and close the door behind him, leaving him alone in the expensive-looking bathroom. He hurried to the toilet and raised the seat, the need to relieve himself taking precedent over everything else. He sighed as he emptied his bladder, glad to get rid of the too much alcohol he drank the night before. It felt like forever before it finally stopped, and once he was done he zipped up his pants and walked to the sink, the splitting headache making him groan. He turned the faucet on and put his hands under the stream, the cold water sending a shiver down his spine the moment it made contact with his skin. He was about to wash his face when he caught a glimpse in the mirror of something red beneath his fringe. He stared in confusion for a moment and grabbed the sink with his right hand while he raised his left one and slowly moved the strands of hair aside, a surprised gasp slipping past his lips when he saw the word written on his forehead. A feeling of dread engulfed him, thinking that the flea had truly carved the word into his forehead, his hand automatically tightening around the edge of the sink until the thing crumbled in his hands as though it was nothing. He moved closer to the mirror to inspect the damage, his stomach roiling with sickening intensity, only to breath in relief when he realized that bakemono was written in blood instead of being carved into his forehead. He backed away from the mirror and allowed his body to slump on the edge of the bathtub, a broken laugh spilling past his lips. He wouldn't have felt a damn thing in his drunken state, so Izaya could've done it had he wanted, but the man didn't, and Shizuo felt as though he had dodged a bullet. At least he had an explanation for the cut on his hand, which he had gladly chose to ignore the moment he noticed it after waking up. It wasn't that uncommon for him to find cuts and scratches on his body and to not remember how he got them, so a small cut was nothing to him.
It was too early in the morning to deal with the flea, so he reached into the pockets of his jacket to pull out the lighter and the cigarette pack, panicking a little and then sighing in relief when he found them inside the right pocket of his pants. He always got irritated when he couldn't smoke, and he needed to be as calm as possible during the discussion he would surely have with the flea. He took his time smoking the cigarette, and then the next one, struggling to remember what happened the night before. He kept coming up blank no matter how hard he tried, and by the time he was ready to face Izaya, he'd already smoked four. Reluctantly, he got up, washed the characters written in blood on his forehead, and then opened the door, nervousness washing over him in waves. He knew that Izaya would most likely want to brutally murder him for destroying his sink, but he hoped that his suggestion would somehow placate the man. As he walked downstairs, he marveled at the size and the look of the apartment, everything in it screaming Orihara Izaya. "Shizu-chan, what took you so long?" he heard the flea chirp from where he was sitting on the couch, the smell of french toast entering his nostrils and almost making him drool. His eyes zero-ed in on the plate placed on the coffee table, and he barely restrained himself from going there and grabbing one of those heavenly slices of french toast. He shook his head and turned his attention back to Izaya, the man's smirk as annoying as ever. "Good one," he said as he pointed to his forehead.
"You should be grateful I didn't go through with it, unlike you," Izaya said, immediately noticing the mortified expression on the beast's face. "Ah, but what's done is done. Come, sit down." He saw Shizuo eyeing the door and he sighed loudly, the brute's head immediately snapping in his direction. "I never took you for a coward. Are you so afraid of facing me that'd you'd rather run away than talk to me?"
"You're right. I owe you at least this much." It was true that he would've preferred to run away instead, because that would've been easier than to face what he had done, but he chose to stay nonetheless. He forced his feet to take a step, and then another, until he reached the couch and he sat down. Luckily, the flea had two couches, so Shizuo awkwardly sat down on the other one. Izaya was eerily quiet, and watching the man now dressed in his usual clothes, coat aside, made him feel uncomfortable, so he chose to instead look at the french toast.
"Help yourself," Izaya said in an amused tone, almost finding it hard to believe that the shy creature before him was the same vicious monster from back then. Shizuo eyed him suspiciously, and Izaya couldn't stop himself from laughing out loud when he guessed the protozoan's thoughts. "Oh please, if I wanted you dead, I would've ripped out your still beating heart the moment I was able to walk again." As expected, Shizuo cringed, but that hadn't been his intention this time around. "Eat," he repeated, and then watched as Ikebukuro's beast took a bite out of the food that his most hated enemy made with his own two hands. The idiot's eyes immediately lit up, the imagine reminding him of human child he once saw, the little boy happily stuffing his face with candy, oblivious to the cruel world around him. Shizuo was also a big fan of disgustingly sweet things, and Izaya almost cringed at the memory of that too sweet bun that Kasuka so graciously bought for him. Unwillingly, he snorted out loud, causing Shizuo to stop mid-way as he was about to grab another piece of french toast. "It has nothing to do with you... just something I remembered," he said and dismissively waved a hand before folding his arms in front of his chest.
Shizuo watched him for a few moments and then picked up another slice, hunger winning over common sense. His eyes fell on the french toast in his hand and he stared, the question leaving his mouth before he even realized that he'd asked it. "Why are you so good to me?"
Izaya's smirk fell and he snorted. "Don't flatter yourself. I treat all of my guests with respect, whether they deserve it or not."
"Does that help?" Shizuo asked, his mouth full after having just taken another bite from the slice of french toast in his hand.
"Of course it does. You should try it sometimes."
"No thanks," said Shizuo, scowling. "Sneaky shit like that isn't my style."
"So being respectful is not your style?" Izaya asked, barely restraining himself for rolling his eyes. "Don't you know the saying, 'You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar'"?
"I caught you just fine without―" He never got to finish though, the realization of what he was about to say making the blood freeze in his veins. Slowly, he lowered his head, feeling completely ashamed for his thoughtless comment. He was about to apologize when he heard Izaya scoff, and he turned his head towards him, immediately noticing the stiff posture and the way the Informant kept his legs tightly closed, the image further driving the metaphorical knife into his already bleeding heart.
"You got lucky. That's what happened. I landed headfirst into concrete after being sent flying by the vending machine you threw at me. Unlike you, normal people don't just walk away from something like that. We can break when monsters like you try their hardest to kill us."
"Wait, so are you telling me that you were badly hurt before the chase even started?" Shizuo asked in disbelief.
Izaya nodded and unfolded his arms before placing them on his knees and leaning forward a bit. "You would've never caught me otherwise." Despite trying to look smug, his voice was dripping spite, and he hoped that Shizuo would not notice, because he was sick and tired of showing weakness in front of his mortal enemy.
"Oh..." he exclaimed softly as he put down half a slice of french toast, the newly provided information making him completely lose his appetite. "I'm sorry..."
"I don't need your apologies," Izaya ground out the words and forced himself to grab his own arms so that he could not reach for the switchblade he kept inside the pocket of his pants. "I wanted you to shed tears of blood, but in a moment of weakness, I chose to spare Kasuka of the pain you put me through, and because of that, I will never get my perfect revenge."
Shizuo's gaze drifted from the plate to Izaya's face, and he recognized the feeling that Izaya was most likely drowning into as he glared daggers at him. "Rage," he told him as he looked him in the eyes.
"What?" Izaya asked, nails painfully digging into his arms.
"That feeling you're experiencing right now, it's rage. Now multiply that by about a hundred times and you'll get an idea of how I feel most of the time. It's not that I want to hurt people or throw things around, it's more like I can't not do it."
Izaya scoffed once again as he glared at the beast sitting not that far from his person, a roil of cold fury blazing out of his eyes. "That's a pathetic excuse, Shizu-chan. Now you're going to tell me that you didn't really want to fuck me to death?"
"No, because that would only be half of the truth." His mind went back to that night, and as much as he hated to remember, he tried to recall his feelings so that he could better explain them to Izaya. "I was trapped somewhere between mindless rage and awareness, and when I realized what I was temped to do, I tried to give you a way out. That laugh of yours drove me insane," he said through gritted teeth, the sound echoing through his head even as he spoke. I just wanted you to shut up." He ran a shaky hand through his hair and closed his eyes, struggling to chase away those awful feelings that belonged to that part of him who had enjoyed Izaya's pain. "If only you had fucking apologized..."
Izaya heard the resentment in the beast's voice and he dug his nails deeper into his own flesh, feeling more pissed off than he had felt in a very long time. "You idiot, don't you think that I would've said those words if only I knew what you were thinking of doing?"
A spiteful laugh spilled past Shizuo's lips, and he glared at Izaya as though he wanted to drive his fist through the idiot's skull. "No, I don't think you would've, because you'd never apologize to someone you see as being less than human."
Orihara Izaya wasn't one to get into fistfights, but he was tempted to get up and punch the idiot in the face. "Are you still blaming me for what happened?"
"No," Shizuo rushed to answer, surprised that Izaya would still think that, "but I was too far gone to stop, and the part of me that was still human was desperately clinging to the hope that you would apologize so that I could let you go. Now I know how stupid it was of me to demand the impossible."
"It wounds me to hear that you have such a low opinion of me. Ah, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't have meant it, but how terrible can a few empty words be when compared to the agony of having your worst enemy shove his dick up your ass?" He shrugged then, some sort of morbid amusement making him smile. "I'm not that versed in the art of gay sex, but even I know that going in dry is simply idiotic. Tell me, is this how you treat all your male partners?"
"I d-don't... I've never... done it with... with g-guys before," Shizuo stuttered, his face turning red.
"Relax, Shizu-chan, I was merely joking. I know that you're not into guys. If I didn't even know this much, I would be too ashamed to call myself an Informant."
Shizuo opened his mouth and closed it a few times before he found his voice. "What else do you know?" he asked so softly that Izaya had to strain his ears to hear him.
"Oh, Shizu-chan, I know all there is to know about you, now more than ever. Have you ever heard the saying, 'Know thy enemy?'" When Shizuo shook his head, Izaya continued. "An ancient Chinese General people refer to as Sun Tzu said, 'Know thy enemy and know yourself; in a hundred battles, you will never be defeated. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your chances of winning or losing are equal. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are sure to be defeated in every battle.' So now tell me, Shizuo, how much do you know about me?"
Shizuo didn't fail to notice how Izaya had used his full name, something the man hadn't done since that night. "I know that you're a blood-sucking flea who enjoys playing with people's lives as though they are nothing." He expected the man to feel insulted and snap at him, or perhaps insult him some more, but Izaya burst into laughter, the loud sounds bouncing off the apartment's walls.
"And that's exactly why you're nothing more than a stupid beast. You never think, just like how you didn't think the day we met. Tell me, Shizu-chan, do you remember what your first words were?" he inquired once he'd stopped laughing.
"'I don't like him,'" Shizuo easily answered, the memories of that day still as fresh as they were right after it happened.
"'Oh? That's too bad. I think I could have some fun with you,'" Izaya answered with the same words from back then.
"'Shut up,'" Shizuo continued, his words echoing his own, but this time around, he didn't try to punch the man.
Izaya on the other hand got up and pulled out the switchblade, immediately noticing the beast tense at the sight of it but not exactly reacting beyond that. He flicked it open as he walked towards him, and as soon as he was in front of him, he pressed it lightly against Shizuo's chest, the man not doing anything to stop him. "'Don't say that, Shizuo-kun. See? This is fun, isn't it?'" he quoted his younger self, a smile gracing his lips at the memory of showing Heiwajima Shizuo that someone out there could take him on and walk away unscathed. "It was fun, wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't," said Shizuo, scowling, feeling the anger rise at the mere memory of how he'd tried and failed to kill Izaya that day. "I got hit by a truck!"
Izaya pulled back the switchblade and sat back down on his couch. "Oh please, you barely got a scratch from that."
"You paid the driver for hitting me! That's fucked up no matter how you look at it," Shizuo snapped, nails digging into his palms from how hard he was trying to not throw the couch Izaya was sitting on out the window, preferably while the pest was still sitting on it. "Stop laughing!"
"Come on, even you have to admit that was a brilliant move."
Shizuo almost face-palmed. "For a sociopath... yeah, it was."
Izaya's actually looked hurt for a moment, but he quickly put on one of his well-practiced masks before the beast even noticed how offended he felt by the remark. "No, Shizu-chan, you can't push the blame on me for this one, because it was you who attacked me first." Even if you didn't like me, you should've tried to act like less of an asshole when our common friend tried to introduce me to you. 'This is Orihara Izaya from my middle school. Well, he's not that good a person, maybe I should say he's a horrible person. No, I didn't mean it in a bad way,'" said Izaya, quoting Shinra's exact words. "Really, Shizu-chan, can you blame me for wanting to mess with you after you tried to kill me for no reason at all?" His words seemed to have blocked the protozoan, because Shizuo seemed to angrily stare into empty space.
"Look, it was that smug expression of yours. It pissed me off," Shizuo finally said when he realized that yes, he had been the one to start their feud, as much as he hated to admit.
Izaya chuckled darkly as he raised his left foot and placed it on the couch before he settled his left arm on top of his knee, the disturbing sounds stopping abruptly the moment he raised his head and stared at the beast with the same expression he had the day they met.
Shizuo actually gasped out loud, the sight taking him back to the time when he met his nemesis and the only man who could easily make a fool out of him. He couldn't deny that he wanted to punch that smug smile off the pest's face, but things were no longer the same, and the man before him was no longer the teenager who used to fearlessly stare at him. No matter how hard Izaya tried to hide it, Shizuo still felt the fear, a natural predator such a himself easily spotting those who were weaker than him. "You damn flea, I'm not going to punch you."
Izaya's expression turned smugger than it already was. "I know." Smirking, he lowered his leg and casually leaned on the couch, allowing his head to fall backwards.
"I'm never going to hurt you again," Shizuo continued, even though he knew that it was of little consolation to the man he'd almost killed. "I promise."
Izaya snorted but otherwise kept quiet, staring at the ceiling of his apartment while Shizuo struggled with the guilt he surely felt.
"Hey, I've never told you this before, but thank you."
Slanting his head to see the brute, Izaya quirked an eyebrow.
"Thank you for saving Kasuka."
Izaya's body turned rigid, and he couldn't help but hiss the next words leaving his mouth. "I shouldn't have saved that emotionless freak."
"Kasuka is not emotionless," Shizuo hurried to correct him, not liking it when others got the wrong impression.
"He is. He told me so," he said as he glared at the man he hated the most in the entire world.
A sad smile appeared on Shizuo's face, his mind going back to all those time when Kasuka showed real emotions. "That's what he honestly thinks, but it's not true. If he was emotionless, he wouldn't care about me at all, so thank you, really. Thank you for not condemning him to the hell I put you through," he told Izaya as he looked him straight in the eyes, hoping to make him understand the gratitude he felt for what he'd done.
Izaya kept his mouth shut, trying to process the information he'd just received. Originally, he had assumed that Kasuka was pretending, but he never went as far as to think that Shizuo's little brother was so used to faking his lack of emotions to the point that he would no longer remember that he was doing it. If that was the case, then the freak was not really a freak, and he almost lamented the loss, because if Kasuka wasn't one, then he was one of his humans, which meant that he would have to love him just as he loved everyone else.
"You said you wouldn't get him involved again. Is that true?" Shizuo asked hesitantly, almost too afraid to hear the answer.
Izaya waved a hand, almost too bored to even answer such a useless questions after finding out some very important information. "As I've said, I'm no longer interested in him." At least not in the same way as I've been until now, he thought, now curious to find out if Kasuka truly was one of his humans.
It looked like Izaya was deep in thought, so after a minute or two of silence, Shizuo got up. "Thanks for the food. It was great." That seemed to snap Izaya from wherever his mind had been wondering, because he got up as well, that annoying smirk back on his face.
"I'm surprised that a beast such as yourself was able to appreciate my french toast."
Shizuo grunted and fished out his lighter and the cigarette pack. "I have to go to work."
"I'm not holding you prisoner," Izaya said and then laughed when Shizuo scowled at him. "If possible, could you not come here again in a drunken state? Sleeping on the floor is not good for my back, if you know what I mean." As expected, Shizuo looked like a kicked puppy, and he couldn't help but enjoy the sight, because a beast suffocated by guilt was far more amusing than one without a conscience. "Bye~!" he told him, and then watched Shizuo until the brute disappeared inside the elevator.
Now that his nemesis was gone, he rushed upstairs to his bedroom and threw himself onto the bed, stretching and yawning at the same time. He stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the soft feel of the mattress against his stiff back, until he got up and started to jump up and down on the bed. "Shizu-chan, I hate you so much. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"
He then spread his arms and closed his eyes as he kept jumping, seeing the blue sky with his mind's eyes.
"...but your unbeastly guilt is so amusing, that I can't stop myself from wishing to utterly...
BREAK YOU!"
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Blind Fury