Adult-FanFiction.org : Anime

(Never) Let Him Know	By : Fullmetal_Masochist Category: -Misc Anime > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1808 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters in the series. I am making no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 33
- 34
- 35
The next day, Hide and I returned to Anteiku to tell them about our encounter with the CCG investigators. Yoshimura didn't seem as upset as we'd expected and said that it couldn't be helped now. Nishio, on the other hand, was livid.
"Are you out of your fucking mind?! What didn't you understand about the danger of involving them? I knew we shouldn't have trusted you. You just put targets over all our heads!"
"The targets were already there, okay?! It doesn't matter whether it's the CCG or Aogiri aiming, because we're in the crosshairs of both! I don't know why you've had this bad attitude towards Kaneki and I, but all I've wanted to do is protect what's important to me. The only way I saw to keep everyone safe, was to put some trust in the CCG. If they're both considered our enemy, then I made a deal with the lesser of the two evils."
Hide stepped closer to Nishio, staring him down, "I don't believe I made a wrong choice, so if you still want to hassle me, then go ahead, what's done is done."
Nishio shoved Hide backward onto the floor, "My attitude with you and Kaneki?! You want to know what my problem is with you? You don't deserve the trust that you're getting here! It took me a very long time to earn the trust of not just Kimi, but everyone here at Anteiku. Just because you became a One-Eyed Ghoul through some bad luck doesn't give you a free pass into our world. We didn't have all these problems until you walked in here. Our lives were quiet before the new guy and his 'pet' showed up!"
"Enough Nishio! You have no right to talk to them like that!" yelled Touka.
"No, he wanted to know, so I'm telling him! You think it's going to bother me if it hurts him or his little boyfriend's feelings? Oh wait, I forgot, that's not even your boyfriend in there anymore, is it? You talk a big game about protecting everyone, but so far you've been doing a shit job of keeping your loved ones out of harm's way!"
Hide just sat on the floor, taking Nishio's verbal beating without appeal. His eyes were glossing over, whether it was from anger or sadness I couldn't be sure. Nishio hovered over him, waiting for Hide to make a move so he could lash out at him more. I couldn't give him that chance. Leaving my crutch behind, I awkwardly limped across the floor and positioned myself between the two of them, stretching out my arms in a protective gesture.
"Leave him alone! He only did what he thought was best for everybody here. Don't use this as an excuse to use him as an emotional punching bag just because you think he got accepted so easily. You forget that we're not Ghouls. Even though we're involved with their lives, we'll never know what it's like to live as one. Imagine that it was you who ended up as a One-Eyed Ghoul and all the hardships you'd have to suffer through. I can't remember anything from the time Hide was turned, but I'm sure he didn't have it as easy as you think. So, if you want to continue this jealous grudge against him, that's on you. But don't think that he didn't have his own hardships to get to where he is now."
My stamina was starting to fade but I maintained my stance. Nishio stared at me, then backed away from the two of us and left the room.
"Haise..." Hide's voice trembled as he stood up and wrapped his arms around me. My legs gave out but Hide kept me from falling as he held me so closely. "You didn't have to put yourself out there like that. I didn't need defending; he wasn't wrong. I've failed so many times..." His voice cracked as he began to sob against my shoulder.
"We should give them some time, everyone," said Yoshimura as he gestured for the others to leave the room. I was grateful for his thoughtfulness. Once we were alone, I maneuvered us over to the nearest couch and sat down. He still held me as he cried, and I patted him gently on his back until he had gotten it all out of his system.
"Thank you, Haise. I'm not sure what I did for you to put so much faith in me, but I hope I won't disappoint you like this again."
"I'm not disappointed at all. He said some cruel things, and I couldn't stand to see him hurt you any longer. You've taken care of me, I just want you to know that I'm here for you too. You don't have to be alone in this."
Hide and I stared at each other for a moment, unsure of what to do next. I wanted him to hold me close again, but I wasn't sure if he wanted the same. He glanced away eventually, clearing his throat before standing up and retrieving my crutch from the other side of the room.
"I should go, there's still a lot of planning to do. I-If you want to rest, I'll be in the next room. Thanks again, Haise, I feel a lot better now thanks to you."
"It's no problem; I just need a minute, I'll be there with you shortly."
He smiled as he walked out of the room. His tears still stained the edges of my shirt. The once warm fluid now a cold dampness against my skin. I could still feel the impression of his face on my chest and the texture of his shirt against my palms as I held him.
"Thank you for comforting him, Haise. Your fierceness in defending him was surprising. These feelings of yours must run deep," Kaneki said as he appeared before me.
"They do. And because of that, I feel it is time to make my choice. When you created me, you wanted me to guarantee your security, right? I need to ensure that you'll be safe before I decide. That's only fair, right?"
Kaneki nodded, "Yes. I'll abide by whatever you decide. Just know that time is growing short. Our mind can't handle this much longer. I'm sure you've noticed the strain it has put on you. If you wait too long, we both may disappear."
"I don't think it'll take that long. Just... wait a little longer."
When I rejoined the group, they were working out their plans based on the information Hide had learned when he infiltrated Aogiri. Hide's phone rang as they were finishing up, and he stepped off to the side to take it. After a few minutes, he returned to the group.
"That was Amon; he said that the CCG is ready to mobilize tomorrow afternoon. We'll rendezvous with them here at 3pm to go over the final details of our strategy."
The group nodded and decided to call it a night. Hide and I walked home in silence, the knowledge that tomorrow would bring either success or ruin to Anteiku weighed heavily on us both. When we got into the apartment, Hide took a bath while I got something to eat.
"The bath's still hot if you want to get in, Haise," said Hide as he emerged from the bathroom with his sleep pants on, his chest bare as he rubbed a towel against his wet hair.
"Okay, thanks." I relaxed in the bath for a little while, soaking in the heat while I thought of how to handle my situation. I decided that nothing short of being straight-forward with him would work. So, when I finished my bath, I quickly dressed before going back into the living room, where I found Hide laying on the couch. I sat down next to him and draped my hand over his to get his attention.
"I know there's going to be a lot happening tomorrow, and I don't want to be a distraction. But I... I can't stop myself anymore. My heart, which is shared with the Kaneki you love, aches for you. I keep hearing him inside my head, asking me to let him go. I never sent him away in the first place!" Tears fell from my eyes; the words weren't as hard to say as I expected. "Both of us love you, Hide. I'm not sure what I can do about it. He's in pain while I exist, but if I give into him, I'll be the one to perish. Please, tell me how I can stop this!"
Surprised by the sudden outflow of my emotions, Hide hesitated a moment before wrapping his arms around me. It was unfair to overwhelm him like this, but it was the best I could do.
"I-I don't have an answer for you, Haise. I'm sorry you've felt so conflicted, and I wish I knew of a way for everyone to be happy. You're a good person, Haise. I care about you, too."
I lifted my head up from his chest to look at him, and we stared at each other before Hide leaned in and kissed me. He pulled away, a look of concern in his eyes as we considered whether we should leave it at this or keep going. A few moments were all we needed before we kissed again, the passion that had been building inside of me burst forth. I ran my fingers through his hair as he rubbed my neck and back with his hands.
He pulled me into his lap and ran his hands down into my pajama bottoms, cupping them against my ass and squeezing softly.
A scene flashed in front of me, where I was on top of Hide, but the room was different. It looked like the apartment where Kaneki lived. If that was the case, then this was another one of Kaneki's memories.
I came back to reality almost immediately to Hide reaching down the front of my pants and stroking my cock as he pulled out his own. He moved me closer to him until they touched. The heat of his melted into my own as he wrapped his hand around both and started rubbing them together. I let out a soft moan as he brought his free hand around and started playing with my ass again.
"Hold on to me, we need to move," Hide said breathlessly as he moved his hands under my thighs. I draped my arms around his shoulders as he slowly stood up. My added weight didn't slow him down as he carried me into his bedroom. He laid me down gently on the bed and slid off my bottoms while shimmying out of his own. He opened the drawer of his nightstand, retrieving a condom and a small bottle of lubricant.
"I don't want to hurt you, Haise, so this is necessary," Hide said as he tore the condom packaging open.
"...it's important to get your muscles in this area ready before anything else can happen." I was now watching as Hide prepared Kaneki just as he was about to do for me. He took the time to explain to Kaneki just what he was doing and took great care to keep him comfortable. As I looked away, I could see the other Kaneki sitting in his chair, watching everything happen. I could sense the barrier between us growing weaker.
"Hide, I need you so much right now!" He'd been massaging my insides, stretching me for what was to come next.
His voice answered me softly, "Are you sure?"
I nodded to confirm I was ready, and he withdrew his fingers and positioned himself on top of me. With slow, gentle pressure, he slid inside, kissing me as he pushed himself in completely.
"I'm going to move now, Haise, tell me if it hurts and I'll stop." He started to thrust against me as he rested his forehead against my collarbone.
"He's a very passionate lover, isn't he, Haise? He makes sure his partner is taken care of completely." With nothing keeping us separate anymore, Kaneki and I sat together as we watched his memory of their first time unfold.
"Yes, that's why I had to do this. If Hide can treat me with just as much care as he would you, then I can be assured that he'd never waver in keeping you safe and secure, Kaneki."
"I suspected as much. Go on, then. Finish it. And thank you, Haise."
As I came back once more, Hide was stroking my cock as he pushed himself against my sensitive prostate. Suddenly he paused and looked at me with concern.
"Haise, why are you crying? Does it hurt?" He started to pull out, but I wrapped my legs around him to prevent him from doing so.
"No, it's nothing like that. I'm just... just so happy right now. Please, don't stop."
He carefully wiped away my tears with his thumbs, then kissed me as he continued to make love to me. He turned me onto my side and entered me again, holding one of my legs in the air and using it as leverage to drive himself deeper inside. This position afforded him full contact with my prostate, and it didn't take long for me to come after that. I clung to him as I shuddered through my orgasm.
"Haise!" He finished with several deep thrusts as he held my leg against his body. He withdrew and disposed of the used condom before laying back down behind me, resting his hands around my waist. I felt myself being pulled back to Kaneki's room and knew it would be for the last time. The tears started to flow again, and I felt some guilt for lying to Hide earlier. These weren't happy tears at all. I didn't have to wait long for him to fall asleep, it had been an exhausting day. I turned around to face him, admiring how peaceful he looked as he slept. I kissed him one more time, then hugged him close.
"Goodbye, sweet Hide," I said with a shaky voice as I closed my eyes for the last time.
- 33
- 34
- 35
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

(Never) Let Him Know