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Life After Near Death	By : Rhov Category: +. to F > Fairy Tail Views: 14426 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is the property of Hiro Mashima. I make no money, I just do this for my own pleasure.

Chapter List
- 34
- 35
- 36
"If your passion is greater than your fear, you'll have the courage to act."

— Barbara Stoker

Chapter 35

Passion and Fear
Minutes ticked by as Gray and Natsu kissed and caressed one another on the couch. They pulled back sometimes to smile, laugh in happiness, and then leaned back in again for more kisses. Hot and cold blended as their tongues swirled and dipped into each other's mouths. Gray felt his arousal returning, but he ignored it. Kisses were enough for now.
Still, Natsu smelled it, and he knew he was getting turned on as well. Gray's touches kept hitting places that sent chills through Natsu's body, making him pull back in moan after moan of blushing pleasure.
"How much do you want to do?"
Gray kissed him again. "This much is good. Just kissing." He let their lips pop again and pulled back with a smirk. "What else did you have planned?"
Natsu blushed as he thought about everything he wanted to do. "I … um … wanna … touch…" His hand slid up Gray's thigh—somehow he had lost both his shirt and his pants—and he let his fingers glide over the erection hidden inside the cotton briefs.
Gray gasped and yanked away.
"Sorry!" Natsu cringed, yanking his hand back. Shit! He knew he should not have done that.
"No, I … sorry, but I don't know if I'm ready for that much."
"R-right. Sorry." He frowned, worried that he just ruined the moment. "How about…" He reached up to Gray's chest and stroked over the shoulders. "…can I touch up here?"
Gray loved the feel of those hot hands. "Yeah, that's fine."
Natsu let his fingers drift to the pectorals. "Across here?" He rubbed over Gray's nipple. Instantly, Gray yanked away. "Sorry."
Gray sighed in frustration. "No, I'm sorry. It's just … it's … a little too weird." Dammit! He cursed to himself in frustration. How come when it was some girl he barely knew for a few hours, he had no problems letting her do just about anything to him, but with Natsu he kept feeling overwhelmed and embarrassed?
"Well then, you take over," Natsu grinned. "You do what you want to me. Show me what you're comfortable doing, and I'll only do that much back to you."
Gray looked over Natsu's body again. "Are you okay with that?"
"I don't care," Natsu grinned. "I wanna be touched everywhere. Or if I don't like something, I'll tell you."
Gray felt awkward but also excited. To touch this body! He let his fingers drift over Natsu's arm. "Wait! Can I ask something that's maybe a bit serious?"
Natsu arched an eyebrow. "Okaaaay?"
"That day on the hill, our … um … our first kiss, you said we'd be equals. Is this what you meant?"
"This what?"
"This! Who … you know … initiates things."
"Well, yeah! If you wanna do something, go ahead."
"I guess I mean later on. Not now, but later."
Natsu hesitated a moment, gulped hard, and said in a soft voice, "You mean sex."
Gray blushed at his bluntness. "Y-yeah."
"You are seriously preoccupied with sex, Gray. I don't want sex right now. Kissing, maybe touching, but not that. Sheesh, we just started dating!"
"I know! Fuck, I'm sorry," he cringed, pulling back. "I don't want you to think I'm just wanting that. It's the opposite. I don't want it, not yet, not until I'm ready. Still, it keeps popping into my head, things I want to do someday, not today but whenever we're ready, and I can't enjoy this unless I know for sure how I should imagine all the crap that comes into my head."
Natsu raised an eyebrow. "You are seriously perverted."
"Shut up!" Gray yelled, feeling awful that he was ruining the moment for something like this. "You imagine things too, right?" he accused. "You want to touch me … down there! You've probably been fantasizing about it, right?"
Natsu pouted and looked away. He had been wanting something like that for months, and he had to admit, while making out he began to picture in his head how this would feel if they were doing even more.
"It's the same. I'm not ready, but my brain comes up with things anyway, and then I wonder if that's even something you want, and I argue with myself, I worry if maybe you wouldn't want it at all and I'm deluding myself, and then I'm suddenly out of the moment again and pissed at myself and god-fucking-dammit why is this so challenging?" he screamed, grabbing at his hair.
"You get distracted by thoughts of sex?" Natsu asked, shocked but also aroused to hear that.
"Well," Gray muttered. "Y-yeah. My brain imagines how much more we could do, and that's a way to ease me into wanting more and more. But my brain is thinking of it as me always dominating, and I don't know if that's what we'd be doing some day. I don't want to … I mean … I don't wanna say I don't want to, but … when it comes to positions, who tops, I don't … I'm not sure if … shit," he whispered at the end, giving up.
Natsu sighed. Rei-chan had warned him about this conversation, and she told him to be honest. He took both of Gray's hands and squeezed them. Gray looked up in apology, but Natsu told him clearly, being truthful.
"I would want … to be on top."
Gray's mouth dropped in shock. He knew Natsu would probably want that, but he really was amazed to hear it. Worry came next. He was not sure if he could handle the pain. Still, if this was what Natsu wanted, if it was a choice between not having Natsu and having to bottom for him…
"But I would also like to see you try that."
It took a moment for Gray to fully comprehend him. "So, both?"
"It's called switching," Natsu answered.
"Oh. Okay. Switching." A part of Gray realized Natsu must have learned that term from Rei-chan. "So, one time you, and one time … me?"
"Yeah," Natsu answered with a light shrug. "Whoever wants to that time. We can compromise. It doesn't have to be fifty-fifty. Just whatever we want that particular day."
Awkwardly, Gray stuttered out, "And … and you don't mind if you're the one … um … o-on the bottom?"
"No," Natsu smiled warmly, and he caressed Gray's cheek. "So long as it's you, I don't mind. So if you wanna fantasize about that, go right ahead. Fantasize all you want," he grinned salaciously. Natsu chuckled as he saw Gray gulp hard and smelled the returning arousal. "I wouldn't want it all the time, but once in a while…" He pulled Gray toward him, leaned back, and let ice wizard be slightly above him. "…I'd like to feel you be the one…" Natsu moaned heatedly as his fiery eyes gazed up at Gray in want. "…to fill me up inside."
Gray gulped as Natsu's sexy proposition went straight to his groin. As he gazed down at Natsu's flushed face, he thought about the fantasies he had. Thrusting into Natsu's body, giving him intense pleasure, watching him tremble underneath … but he supposed if it was so good that way, it would feel just as good for him. To have pleasure thrust into him, Natsu's heat filling his body, to grab him and be pleasured that deeply…
He yanked himself out of the fantasy, but he realized Natsu was sniffing the air. Gray was aroused and he knew it. He wondered how he smelled to the Dragon Slayer.
"Gray?" he whispered, pulling him in closer, his eyes hazy.
Gray saw how much Natsu wanted it. He had seen that lustful look in women. Normally, Gray gave in to the heat of the moment. He rarely turned down a girl whose eyes were that impassioned. Part of him wanted to surrender now, but as he felt Natsu's hand slide down his abs, lower and lower, toward the stiffness in his briefs, Gray froze up.
"I—"
The word made Natsu go still.
"I like the idea," he blurted out. "But … I … I'm not ready. I'm just not." He sat up and turned away, hunching over and folding his hands together between the knees.
Natsu sat up normally and straightened out his clothes. "I won't pressure you. Honestly," he chuckled, "I'm not ready to do all that. I want to eventually, but … but I want to take it slow. I want to enjoy the simple things first. Here." He readjusted how he was sitting, trying to look normal, not intimidating nor inviting. "You kiss me. Do anything that feels comfortable."
Gray still hunched over. "I … I don't want to do something you don't like. How much, how little, where is okay—"
"Gray!"
His words cut off, and Gray turned sharply back around. "Wh-what?"
Natsu's eyebrows tweaked as he twisted up a droll smile. "Shut up and kiss me. Is it that hard, ice princess?"
Gray smirked at the challenge in his voice. So, Natsu wanted to see Gray's skills, huh? Then he would show this flame-brain just how good he could kiss!
He leaned in slowly, kissing Natsu with tenderness. His fingers caressed the flushed cheeks, stroking down to his neck, then up the back of the scalp into his hair. As he felt confidence returning, he cupped the back on Natsu's neck and pulled him in closer. His tongue ventured out, tasting, savoring, playing with Natsu's tongue.
He felt hot hands on his chest, fingers careening over his muscles. Those fantasies returned, how much more they could do, and this time he let his brain imagine anything it wanted. Natsu wanted to do it all. Top, bottom, it didn't matter to him! In a surge of desire, he pressed Natsu back against the couch.
Natsu grabbed Gray's shoulders and leaned backward toward the seat cushions, allowing him to dominate the kiss. At the last moment, Gray grabbed a throw pillow to put under Natsu's head. Then he settled in, their limbs taking a moment to twist into something not completely awkward. They pulled back and looked at each other, breathing hard.
"Is this okay?" Gray asked, amazed at how Natsu looked. Handsome? Yes, or at least sexy. Provocative! He wanted this man so much now!
"It's fine," Natsu breathed, feeling light-headed. "I love you, Gray."
Gray smiled because, unlike many girls who said it without truly meaning it, he knew Natsu meant those words with all of his heart. "Love ya, too." He leaned over and kissed Natsu so hard, his head pressed deep into the pillow. "I love you, Natsu," he breathed right against his lips.
As their kissing continued, Natsu stroked up and down Gray's bare back, feeling scars from their battles. He loved how Gray kept playing with his hair. Feeling those caressing hands gave him tingling chills. Natsu let one leg drop down off the couch, and Gray shifted his body up closer. Their arousals ground together, and Natsu let out a low moan.
"You're … not bad," he whispered between kisses.
Gray gave a short laugh, but he was too enraptured with Natsu's mouth. He had never tasted anything quite like this. Cinnamon would never be the same again!
Natsu stroked his hand down to where he felt the briefs, but he went no further than that. Up to the raven hair, down to the cotton underwear, caressing Gray's back as their lips captured all they could and their tongues lazily played. Then he felt Gray's hand stroke down his dropped leg, almost to the knee, and glide back up the inner thigh. It barely missed his arousal before sliding back down the outside of the leg.
"Ah!" Natsu arched slightly at the teasing touch.
"Is this okay?" Gray asked, not stopping his kisses.
"Yes. Like it." Natsu was nearly incoherent.
"You're aroused." Gray gave another slow thrust, sliding their groins together, while his hand stroked up the inner thigh again, getting close, so close, yet not touching that spot.
"Nngh … s-so are you."
"Yeah," Gray laughed softly. "This feels nice."
He gave a tug to the bottom of Natsu's shirt. This signal stopped the kisses. Gray sat up, Natsu rose high enough so he could pull the shirt over his head and set his scarf aside. They sat there for a moment, their eyes focus on each other, desire steaming between fire and ice. Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray's shoulders, kissed him fiercely, and pulled him back down to the couch. Their chests stroked against each other, skin to skin, and their hands explored anywhere they could reach.
Gray began to kiss down Natsu's neck, finding sensitive spots almost everywhere. He knew it would be fun to explore there later. He went further down, nipping and sucking along his collar bone. Natsu arched up with a squelched moan, and Gray lowered further, sliding down his body, feeling that soft stiffness poking at him. He kissed Natsu's chest, licked between the taut pectorals, and looked at the torso.
A man's chest! He had never done anything like this before.
"Do you … um … wanna try … I don't know, maybe…" He knew women loved it, but maybe guys didn't. Taking the chance, he licked over Natsu's nipple and was rewarded with a sensual groan. "Is this good?"
"Yes!" Natsu hissed in pleasure.
Gray carefully licked again as he felt up from Natsu's thighs to his chest, exploring all the contours of his body. He was used to the softness of women, and this was totally different. Once while idly chatting with Lyon, he stated that he would probably not like a masculine woman, imagining someone like Erza, or worse! However, Natsu's body was a work of art, sculpted by years of hard training. He felt the scar on his waist from his near-fatal fight with future-Rogue. He felt marks all over, lines, pocked holes, jagged discoloration that had faded over many years. This body was special, unique, a sign of Natsu's perseverance. That was something Gray could relate to, admire, and respect. It was different from a woman he barely knew, since he could name precisely how Natsu got most of these scars.
He sucked softly on the nipple, and Natsu covered his mouth to hold back a moan.
"Hey, don't do that." Gray pulled his hand away. "If you like it, let me know."
"It's embarrassing!"
"I can stop."
"Hell no!"
Gray smiled to hear that, but when he looked down again at the chest his lips pouted. "This is shitty of me, isn't it?"
Natsu jolted in surprise. "No, it's good! It's seriously good."
"I mean, I pulled away when you wanted to touch me there, yet I'm doing this to you. It's not really fair."
Natsu reached forward with both hands and grabbed Gray's cheeks before he could pull away. "We don't have to be the same with everything. It's fine if you want to do something but you're not ready to have me do it to you. Totally fine! Do you like doing this? Is it comfortable for you?"
"Well, y-yeah. It's a little strange not having boobs to grab, but … but I don't not like it."
"And I love it! So we'll do this."
"But you … I don't—"
"I'll do what is comfortable for you," Natsu told him. "Sheesh, stop making this complicated. It's simple if you don't make it a big pain in the ass. Do you like how I've been touching you so far? Is it too much?"
"Um, n-no. It's good."
"Then I'll do this—" Natsu stroked over Gray's bare back. "—and you lick me like you were doing. I like it. Do you think I'm gonna complain when you make me feel so good? You're an idiot if you think that." He leaned back and stretched himself out invitingly. "So shut up and make me feel good."
Gray smirked. Seriously, he was one crazy and wonderful flame-brain. "Why the hell did it take us this long?" He leaned over and planted kisses up and down the center of Natsu's chest.
"Because we're stubborn idiots. Ahhhh!"
Natsu arched as Gray licked his other nipple. He twirled his tongue around, sucked slowly with his lips, and then softly nipped with his teeth, tugging the tit until it stiffened.
"Nngh!"
Gray glanced up. "Too much?"
"No! More!"
Gray leaned over again. Not many girls liked to have their nipples bitten, but in his fantasies dream-Natsu had always liked it. It was nice to know the real Fire Dragon Slayer was into a little roughness as well.
"G-Gray!"
Hearing Natsu whimper his name was almost too much for Gray. His breathing went heavier, and he surged up, kissing Natsu's neck aggressively, sucking along the throbbing vein. He knew Natsu was sensitive there, and he wanted to hear more. Natsu's voice filled the room with a whine that trembled with desire.
Suddenly, two hands pressed on Gray's chest. He sat up and saw the heated lust in the face below him.
"We … we should quit. If we do more…" Natsu was tempted, but he also did not want this to be a flame that burned out too quickly. He wanted Gray to keep wanting him, desiring him, and make that desire build more and more. Granted, it had been Rei-chan who suggested that, but it was what he truly wanted now. Gray was timid about himself, but he seemed pretty confident with a partner. Natsu wanted to make Gray want to be touched as much as he apparently liked to touch someone else. He wanted Gray to desire him.
"R-right," Gray muttered, and he awkwardly sat up.
Natsu pushed himself up and adjusted his clothes. He let out a soft sigh as he felt his erection wither back to normal. He took a quick glance and saw Gray was having a harder time and looked annoyed by the discomfort.
"Hey."
Gray glanced over, and Natsu suddenly kissed him. It was just a peck on the lips, but it chased away his fluster at ending things like that.
Natsu wrapped his arms around Gray's neck and stayed so close, their noses were touching. He smiled straight into Gray's eyes with a green gleam in his irises. "I liked it. We should do it again."
Gray took a moment for that to register. "Y-yeah. Yeah, totally. We'll do that more."
Natsu laughed to himself. For someone who frequently dated, Gray was adorably awkward with all of this. Natsu kissed him on the cheek and pulled back, but his hand stayed wrapped around Gray's chest, stroking his arm in a half-cuddling embrace. "Did you like it?"
"Hell yeah!" exclaimed Gray. "I … I mean—"
"That's good," grinned Natsu. He kissed Gray on the forehead now, and Gray knew that was the sign that their make-out time truly was over.
Natsu leaned in and rested on Gray's shoulder. Once again, he felt those icy fingers playing through his hair, and it made Natsu smile privately. They sat together, only soft touches between them as the passion of the moment simmered back down.
"Did you still want to go on a date?" asked Natsu.
Gray had been so comfortable cuddling like this, he was almost asleep. "Uh, sure. Yeah, we can do that."
"Good." Natsu suddenly sat up and sniffed the air. "Someone is coming. By the perfume, it's Erza. No, two people. Lucy is with her."
Gray was glad Natsu's nose could pick up when people were approaching. One of the worst things was being suddenly interrupted while doing something sexy.
Natsu grabbed his shirt and pulled it back on. Gray found his clothes and dressed again. Both were awkwardly quiet as they waited … and waited. Gray thought maybe the girls were close, but apparently Natsu's senses were so good, he had smelled them from a distance.
"Hey! Let's tell them," Natsu suddenly shouted.
That jolted Gray. "Wh-what? Now?"
"Why wait?" He ran to the door and opened it just as Erza had her fist up to knock. "Hiya! Good news. Gray and I are dating."
"Idiot!" Gray shouted. Sheesh, blurting it out like that!
Erza's eyes widened fractionally. She glanced from Natsu, whose hair was a ruffled mess but he was all smiles, then over to Gray, with flushed cheeks and tugging at his shirt in a nervous habit.
"That's good," she replied. "Natsu, you are needed for an emergency mission."
Natsu looked disappointed. "That's good? That's all you have to say about it?"
"You already admitted to me that you were in love with him. It was inevitable that either you would get over him, or you two would begin dating." She sounded perfectly content with the results. "Anyway—"
"Anyway?" Natsu bellowed in outrage.
"It's a special request from Mest, all Dragon Slayers will go with him."
Natsu folded his arms. "What's up with that?"
"No clue. He was being secretive as usual. You leave tonight."
"No way! Gray and I were about to go on our first date."
Gray walked up and put a hand on Natsu's shoulder. "That can wait. The job comes first."
Natsu twirled back around to him. "No, you come first in my life!"
Gray blushed, and to the side so did Erza and Lucy.
"I'll make it up to you when you get home," Gray promised. "Lives could be in danger. I'll still be here when you come back."
Natsu grabbed Gray's cheeks. "Promise me!"
Gray felt awkward having this conversation in front of their teammates. "Y-yeah, I promise. I'll wait for you, and we'll have a nice date when you come back."
Natsu nodded. He wanted to kiss Gray again, but he had specifically said not to kiss him in public. Although they were technically on Natsu's doorway, this was still in front of their friends, so he held himself back.
Lucy had to chuckle at how adorable the two looked together. "You should go to the guild and announce it. I bet you'll shock most of them."
"Yes!" Natsu cheered. He grabbed Gray's wrist and yanked him forward. "Come on! Let's go!"
"W-wait!" Gray yelled, stumbling after him. "Sheesh, you idiot!"
As they raced down the forest path, Erza shouted, "Remember, the mission is tonight. Mest will be here in an hour."
Natsu raised his hand in the air. "Got it!" he shouted back, not stopping.
Lucy spoke quietly to Erza. "Do you think they'll really surprise the guild? I kind of want to see that."
"To be honest, I'm a little worried," Erza said quietly. "I don't think anyone would really disapprove, but there are certain people in the guild who would definitely use this as an excuse to tease Natsu."
"Do you mean calling him names? Sheesh, I hope not," Lucy frowned.
"We should follow them."
"Oh? You want to see how people react, too?"
"Partly. Mostly, Mira has a betting pool going and I need to collect my Jewels." Erza smiled with just a little smugness. "I won the bet!"

Next Chapter: "Out of the Closet"
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- 36
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Life After Near Death