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(Never) Let Him Know	By : Fullmetal_Masochist Category: -Misc Anime > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1808 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Tokyo Ghoul or any of the characters in the series. I am making no money from this story.

Chapter List
- 34
- 35
The morning light crept into the room. It was the first time in two months that I awoke as my true self. I sat up quickly and surveyed the room. Even though I'd been a witness to the events of last night, it still felt strange not having to take a back seat in my own mind anymore. I'd grown used to playing the spectator, so it overwhelmed me to be in control now. I retained all my memories, including those of Sasaki Haise. When I thought about him, I started to cry. Hide shifted in the bed and opened his eyes to look at me.
"Haise, you're crying again. What's wrong?"
I faintly smiled through my tears, "I-It's me, Hide. I'm back, but Haise's gone. He's gone..." I said as I curled myself up in the bed and sobbed harder. Hide blanketed me in his arms, stroking the back of my head and neck with his fingers.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm so glad that you've returned, Kaneki. I've missed you so much!"
"I know you did. I was aware of everything but had no control. Haise had so much to struggle with, but he did the best he could. In the end, he didn't want to go. He loved you, and that made it difficult for him to decide what to do. His last moments were happy, though. He felt loved and accepted, and you showed him that it was safe to allow me to come back. He was assured that you'd never allow me to come to harm again. I didn't want him to go, but..."
Hide hugged me tighter than before, "I know, Kaneki. Haise was a kind and gentle person. I'm sure that he's still there somewhere as a part of you. I did care for him the same as I do the real you. I didn't want him to feel as though he was a substitute. I'm just sorry for getting you involved in all of this."
"I told you from the start that if this was the world you lived in, that I'd be right there with you. I know the risks, and I don't regret anything. What happened to me in that place, it's going to take time to deal with it, but I know I'm safe with you now. Just... Thank you for not giving up on me while I was gone."
Hide opened his mouth to respond, but when no words came out, he began to cry instead. We spent our morning holding each other, content that this was all we needed for the moment.
"Welcome back, Kaneki! We're all relieved to see that you've returned to us," said Yoshimura as we walked through the doors of Anteiku. Hide had called them ahead of time to share the news of my return. The attention made me nervous but Hide held my hand through it all. Even though it had been two months since my rescue from the Aogiri prison, my reawakening brought along with it all the trauma that had been lying dormant while Haise was in control.
"T-Thank you, sir, it's still a lot to take in, but I'm doing my best." Walking to the shop was a challenge. The crowds of people made me anxious to the point of a panic attack. Hide wanted to take me back home, but I insisted that we keep going. Even among friends, this feeling of unease still hung heavily over me. What I endured at the prison won't be forgotten or healed in any short amount of time. But I can't let that distract Hide from what they must do today. I have to show him my support and be strong for him like he's doing for all of us.
"That's understandable; you went through a truly terrible ordeal. I know a psychologist that can be trusted with our secrets. I think it would be good for you to talk to him once today's business is settled."
"Yes, I'd appreciate that very much, sir." I knew better than to think I was okay. Hide helped me realize that I had a bad habit of trying to handle my problems alone. He showed me that it was okay to ask for assistance to make things better. So, once they finished dealing with the Aogiri threat, I planned to seek help for the trauma I experienced.
The door to Anteiku opened, and to our surprise, my former boss' daughter Akira Mado walked through it.
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?!" Hide yelled as he charged towards her, his kagune bursting forth from his back as he ran. She manifested her kagune as well, a white and gold mass that covered her left arm like a shield. Holding it up in front of her, she took up a defensive pose.
"I'm not here to fight! Please give me the chance to speak!"
Hide stood in front of her, his kagune lashing out around him, waiting to be directed to strike the woman before them. "Why should we believe anything you have to say? Your father is a monster, why should his daughter be any different?"
"Are we all condemned to be prisoners to our family's sins? Do you not believe that there can be one person willing to fight against the wrongs of their kin? If so, then strike me down now, because I don't want to stay in a world where I can't live outside of my father's wicked shadow."
Her words hit me deep. During my time working at Mado's, she'd never shown me any sign of anger or disdain. I knew she was sincere right now. This was her true heart speaking to us and pleading for a chance to be heard.
"Hide, I believe her! Please, we should at least listen to what she has to say!"
Hearing my words, Hide relaxed his position and withdrew his kagune. "Alright, let's hear what's so important."
Akira withdrew her defensive shield and followed Hide to a nearby table. Yoshimura and Touka joined them as I watched from my seat.
"I've always had a difficult relationship with my father. I tend to disagree with him on many of his opinions and beliefs. I took that as a normal occurrence when children become adults. But I've reached my limit on how much of my father's actions I can ignore before I feel it necessary to intervene. So, I'm here to provide you with the information you'll need to stop him."
Hide crossed his arms defensively as he listened, "What changed to make you want to take action now? Why not stay blissfully ignorant in your little grocery store?" I shot a glance in his direction, making him aware that I disapproved of his unnecessarily hurtful remark.
"My father isn't in his right mind. I'm starting to realize that I don't think he ever was. I helped him open that grocery store because I believed he wanted to bridge the gap between Ghouls and humanity. But he fooled me," she paused and looked at me directly, "and hurt people I cared for who had never done anything wrong to Ghouls. When I found out what he'd done to Kaneki, I was disgusted with him. He can't be allowed to continue like this. I'm aware of what must be done and accept it. This is all I can do for you, so please take this information and use it to put an end to his hatred and bigotry."
She produced several papers from her jacket pocket which revealed Mado's current location, his plans for the day, as well as the most efficient ways to get through his defenses to catch him off-guard. With this, they had a clear plan of attack that would result in fewer casualties.
"We'll have to report this information to the CCG and get their insight on how to make the best use of this knowledge. The two investigators we've been in contact with should be here any time now," said Yoshimura. Almost as if his words summoned them, the CCG stepped into the coffee shop cautiously.
"Wow, didn't think we'd have this much of a crowd in here!" A young man with albino features said excitedly as he started to wander around the shop. He spotted me and started to wave. "I remember you! You're the panic attack guy. I guess your friend Nagachika took care of you after all, good!"
Hide stepped in before he got much closer, sensing my anxiety. "He's still recovering, so forgive me for asking you to give him some space, Juuzou."
The taller man approached as well, "Don't crowd him, Juuzou. I hope that you're doing well, young man. Nagachika, are we ready to start planning our attack?"
"Yes, we just recently got some updated intel on the leader's location and other information that should prove useful to our mission." From there, the group began to strategize on how to approach the area and which teams would be responsible for disabling the defenses surrounding the Aogiri base. It was a relief to see that the people from the CCG were treating the people of Anteiku with respect. There was hope to avoid the dismal future that Yoshimura feared for Ghouls after all.
As their meeting ended, the newly formed teams were each given their orders and sent out to fulfill them. Hide was one of the last to leave the huddle at the table.
"Kaneki, this is where we'll have to part for now. The CCG said that they'd leave some guards to protect you and the others that will be taking shelter here."
I nodded, "I understand."
The serious expression he fought to maintain disappeared to reveal his insecurities. "Ahh, dammit... I don't want to do this! I just got you back; it's so unfair that I have to leave you now!" He grasped my hands and squeezed them gently.
"Shh, I'm not going anywhere. Just do what needs to be done and come back home to me." I brought his right hand up to my face and kissed his knuckles.
"I will, Kaneki. I swear I'll come back to you. Don't miss me too much while I'm gone, okay?"
I chuckled softly, remembering when I'd heard him say this once before. Recalling how much of an impossible task it truly was, I could only pull him close for a tight embrace. "I can't promise that, Hide."
- 34
- 35
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(Never) Let Him Know