All The Way Here

Woot! I was so determined to finish this before the Glastonbury Festival! I r teh pwnage, k?



What can I say? This one was much more difficult to write than 'It Matters' was. The main reason was because I was bouncing off the original story, but also trying to avoid covering the same ground. There was necessarily an assumption of familiarity on the part of the reader with 'Death Note' for this reason.



This framework led to two huge problems. Firstly, I didn't have the freedom to just go off on a tangent. If they are supposed to be watching Japanese policemen in New York, then they can't just suddenly decide to go to Disney Land and play with Mickey Mouse. I also had to pay attention to details. It sounded like a lot of hard work. Secondly, if you are doing something like this, then it makes sense to have the narrative report events in retrospect, eg Mello coming back and telling Matt what had happened when he met up with Near. However, I was faced with a characterisation whereby Mello never tells Matt anything (except on a need to know basis), so half of the story is Matt working out things on his own. That 'Oh, darling, guess who I pointed a gun at today?' conversation couldn't play out in its entirety, because of their personalities. I could have changed it, written in the sort of openness that was transpiring by the end, but for another thing. I'm still learning here, so I've been pouring over the wikis and other definitions of fanfiction, working out the rules. Plagarism is a no-no, but it's also frowned upon to have commentaries on events in the original text. You can bounce off it, but you can't rewrite a scene with a different point of view. Cachi.



I nearly gave up just after the 'Shopping' scene, on the basis that this was going to be too restrictive and, frankly, boring. The 'Knowing' chapter was written as a kind of 'Shall I? Shan't I?" experiment. Yes, I enjoyed writing that, but where was I going to go from there? I left it overnight. Next day, I would decide whether to delete this and go off into some of the other ideas I've had; after all, I'd left 'It Matters' in the perfect place to stop. They were leaving to enter the series of events that happened in 'Death Note'. It's understood.



What changed things was Miyamashi (Morgie), commenting in the MelloxMatt Community, and drawing my attention to Catholic angst. I read her very excellent work in process story and suddenly Mello was coming into the sharp focus that hadn't been there until then. I wrote 'The Exchange' straight afterwards and that chapter is definitely dedicated to her. The series of conversations we have had since, dotted over three live journal entries, gave me the kick up the backside to just keep writing. This was a story which was going to be told. Besides, Morgie was struggling through writer's block and I would lose all the moral highground if I went and deleted my story, whilst still prodding her with chocolate to entice more chapters out of her.



Once decided, Morgie had a further role to play in raising the stakes every 30 seconds. Her attention to detail is profound, which meant that I had to raise my game too. I couldn't just write whatever came to mind, then sod off to Runescape. I had to study the background of pictures in the Manga; freeze-framing things in the Anime. I had to ask myself the questions, what on earth is really going on here? Where are they? What possible moments could have led to that position, those words, that choice of clothing? Mostly this turned into an absolute goldmine of depth of information that's elevated 'Death Note', for me, out of a really enjoyable thing to read and into 'wow, that's genius literature!' (Though how two days passed when Mogi was kidnapped is still a bit dodgy, in my humble opinion. Everyone is wearing the same clothes, standing (or sitting) in the same positions and doing so in the same locations. I know we had to wait for the Japanese to fly over, arrange a riot and hire a helicopter, but did everyone just freeze and stop time to let them do it? The only difference that I could see is that Near has swopped his toys.)



Of all of the chapters in 'All The Way Here', the hardest to write was 'Waiting for You'. This was the first time that I knew that I wouldn't be deleting this and was going to see it to the end. If that was the case, then there were some things that I needed to establish there. Unfortunately, Mello and Matt had their own ideas. I'd be writing away with one idea in my head and they were pulling in another direction. I should have given up and let them have their head, but I'm as stubborn as they are. I usually write a chapter in a single sitting, go away, come back and write the next chapter. 'Waiting For You' took about three different sittings, several changes of music and two difficult writing locations to complete. If I was considering deleting the whole thing, then 'Waiting For You' was the most in jeopardy of all. I actually clicked the delete button once, but suddenly thought of how Mello could react and had to quickly press the back button. The memory had saved it and so I could cut and paste it back into being. Though I still glare at that chapter in passing, I think that it did do all that I set out for it to do.



Last time, I said that I didn't 'get' Mello. Morgie says that my characterisation of him has come on 'in leaps and bounds', so that's good enough for me. Trust the experts, I say, then go and do something else instead.



Something that I have to say about this story. If you are writing a MelloxMatt, but can't quite get your head around Mello, beware of stalking Saggitarians. They are dangerous. They might share a sign with Mello, but frankly that should say it all. I have three of them in my world and they should be stamped with a health warning. Notable incidents include:



1, Me being propelled into a loft, on the basis that I'm the only one small enough to get through the hole; crawling through darkness and dust, barefoot on off-cuts of wood, dripping sweat and thinking about the webpage that I still haven't coded. Meanwhile, my Saggie is holding court six feet below my feet, shouting up where she needs things stacking. What was I doing visiting her again? Oh, yes, I wanted to analyse her mannerisms and nick them for Mello. Why couldn't the git be a Virgo?



2, I'm standing on a city street corner, after being enticed out of my room for the first time in ages. Suddenly I'm colliding with a wall, my female Saggie friend taking the cigarette from my hand and burning herself in the process. "Sssh." She tells me, proceding to pretend that she is smoking it, while cuddling me; while kissing me. A moment later, she's released me and drags her attention back from the road to hand me back my cigarette. I don't say a word, she'll tell me in her own sweet time. She does. Someone was driving past who is really getting on her tits. She wanted to shock her prudish nemesis and simultaneously head her off from the scent of working out this Saggie's real relationship. "I knew you'd go along with it." She comments off-handedly to me. I just smile sweetly, staving off hours of whinging by acceptance, though I wonder at her plan.



3, "What are you doing?" Saggie asks me, once she's gestured enough that I take off the headphones and slowly give her my attention. "I'm writing a story." I respond, hopefully in a tone that will make her go away. "Oh right. In that case can you come downstairs a minute please?" I follow, in trepidation. A few minutes later, I am on my back underneath a toilet, with a pair of pliers and some cutters, wrestling with joints. Yes, you can learn plumbing from Goggle. Saggie says, "You type really fast and your mind is full of story ideas. This will give you thinking time to get those ideas in order. Besides, I'd never fit under there." Yeah. Right. That's how they work, you see, they flatter you up, then shove you under leaking cisterns.



4, Older Saggie thinks that I look a bit underfed. I respond that the doctor has just told me that I'm fat. She counters with, 'No, you're starting to look normal. He meant that you were too skinny before." Right. Plates of baking and savoury treats appear in a constant stream. I'm too full, I tell her. She says this is just for starters. She's cooking me a meal. I protest, she asks pointed questions about hard drugs and eating disorders. I've never had an eating disorder, I reassure her and help myself to another cake. So what are you doing here? She asks. I come clean and tell her that I want to watch her because I'm writing a story about a Saggitarian and... Never ever tell a Saggie that you are analysing them. Especially don't do that and then drop your guard later on in the evening. You will have things thrown at you.



Worst of all, every Saggie I know has now been reminded of my existence. I have a To Do list spanning three environments and for most of them, I don't even have the reasons why I'm doing it. This isn't a lie. Saggitarians are dangerous. Keep away from them. Even if they have got gorgeous blond hair and a liking for chocolate.



Finally, hands up, it was me. Someone REALLY should start selling nicotine replacement lozenges at San Francisco airport. I was much worse than Matt was; to the point where the flight from New York to Britain passed in a drugged haze because the person with me got the sleeping pills and anti-depressants. If she is going to have to face flights with a junkie, she'd rather chose the drugs than deal with the cold turkey. Sorry, K, but it was great inspiration.



Ok, I've stopped typing now.



Night all.



Matilda

xxxxxx