The Key to My Heart

Author: JadeHeart
Fandom: Gravitation (after the manga finishes)
Warnings: bad language, angst

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this, they belong to the creators of ‘Gravitation’, nor am I making any profits from it.

The Key to My Heart: Chapter 37


Large hands; hard, forceful, yet at the same time gentle, cradling him. They cupped his face, long fingers framing his features. They were hot – flesh against flesh, sliding over his skin, curling around the back of his neck, tangling in his hair, tugging insistently. He raised his chin in response to the demand, feeling hot breath on his neck, then the warmth of lips pressed against his skin, a moist tongue leaving hot trails across his flesh. His body quivered, his hands reaching out wanting to hold onto the hard body pressed against his. He wanted to see the person. He wanted to gaze on that beautiful face. He wanted to see this…man?

Shuichi awoke with a start in a cold sweat, sitting bolt upright, breathing heavily. His sheets lay tangled around him, constricting his limbs. He thrust them away, turning to swing his legs over the side. What was that all about? He dropped his head into his hands, holding it tightly, trying to calm his rapidly beating heart. What the hell was going on? It had seemed so real. It had seemed like he…knew it was for real. What had he been before? What had he done?

He held one hand out before him looking at it. It was broad with long fingers, broader than a woman’s, though not as large as some men’s like Hiro. It was still the hand of a man. The hand in his dream had been that of a man. Hadn’t it?

He raised it to his face, hesitated a moment and then taking a deep breath, closed his eyes and lightly ran his fingers down the side of his own face, curving around it. He jerked it away with a gasp, almost as though trying to flee himself. It had felt almost like his dream. He had been right. It had been a man’s hand. A man’s….body. Why? Why was he dreaming of a man? Like that?

He walked to the open window too frightened to lie back down and seek further sleep. He was too frightened of what might be revealed to him in his dreams.

*************

Shuichi sat with Hiro in companionable silence in the lounge, just the two of them. There was no talking as Hiro softly strummed the guitar lying across his lap. Shuichi just lay there and watched the play of shadows across the ceiling.

It was the end of another long day. Suguru had disappeared early for once, stating he had an award night for his old school to go to. The youth took a lot of pride, more than he was willing to admit, in returning to his school, almost as much as they did in having him for a past student. Since his ascendance in fame, Suguru’s old school quite often requested that he participate in various school functions as a role model for the students.

Shuichi had thought it was pretty stupid really. He had no great urge to return to his school. It wasn’t his school that had helped him get where he was today so why would he bother going back there? He had said as much to Suguru once, trying to fathom out why the younger man had felt the need to do so. He knew perfectly well that Suguru had also got where he was today through his own determination, blood, sweat and tears, not because of some school. Suguru had just looked at him seriously for a moment and then explained that if he could encourage even one student who might have a love of music and a dream of achieving this level of fame, then he would be happy. He wanted to show them that such a dream wasn’t wrong to have – just because it wasn’t an academic pathway.

Hiro wholeheartedly agreed with Suguru in that. Shuichi remembered how difficult it had been for his friend with the expectations his parents had placed on him in relation to his love of music. He remembered how hard it was for Hiro in trying to live up to those expectations at the expense of what he really wanted to do. It was not easy for children to go against their parents’ desires and dreams, even if they weren’t what was right for that child. Hiro had been happy to accompany Suguru on more than one occasion to help his crusade.

Shuichi still hadn’t done so, although now he had a greater appreciation for the natural abilities that he had and the thought that there were other people out there, young children who had their whole futures ahead of them who could really be ‘somebody’ in this industry and who would never have the chance because they would turn their backs on their dreams to live a comfortable life that was a lie; that thought bothered him now. So perhaps, one day, he might go with Suguru on a visit. Perhaps.

Shuichi remained where he lay on the couch, a stick of pocky between his lips, sucking on it gently instead of munching through it hungrily as was his wont. The soft sound of Hiro’s guitar was soothing. He didn’t recognize the tune but that wasn’t surprising. Hiro would often make up tunes just out of the blue. Shuichi liked listening to the tunes that his friend randomly drew out if his instrument as it quite often inspired him in his lyric writing. This time however, he wasn’t getting any inspiration - he was thinking about something else.

“Hiro?” he finally said, still looking at the ceiling, watching the play of shadows from the sunlight.

“Hmm?” was the quiet response.

“Do I…” he paused then began again. “Do I…like men?”

The sounds of the strumming paused then resumed. “Why do you ask?” Hiro’s calm voice reached him.

He refused to look over at his friend. He just couldn’t . “I....had a dream.”

“What about?” Hiro’s voice was soothing, helping to quell his fears.

“I dreamt…I was with… a man.”

“Doing what?”

“Kissing.”

“Is that all?” There was no condemnation from his friend. No gasp of outrage or disgust.

Shuichi threw a quick glance across to see Hiro still lounging back in his seat, feet pressed up against the table edge before him, guitar in his lap. His long dexterous fingers still lightly danced over the strings, even though his warm liquid eyes were looking at Shuichi. He glanced away quickly, feeling his face flush.

“What else…would there be?” he half stammered.

“Oh, lots of things perhaps. Kissing is pretty tame.”

Shuichi turned to stare at Hiro in shock. “But…..but…..”

“Calm down, I’m just teasing.”

“Oh,” Shuichi calmed and reached out for another pocky stick. “So,” he began again. “Do I?”

“What?”

Shuichi glared at his friend. “Like men, asshole!”

Hiro chuckled at him. “Well, you’re not completely averse to them.” he answered calmly, his playing not ceasing.

Shu’s mouth fell open in disbelief. “You mean…..I’m gay?!” His voice rose to a squeak.

“Oh, I’d say more with bi-sexual tendencies in a small way.” Hiro ignored his seeming imminent meltdown.

“You mean I’d go out with only guys?” His voice went up another octave and Hiro winced a little at the pitch.

“Oh, you really didn’t.” Hiro assured him. “You hung around with girls in high school sometimes.”

“Did…” Shuichi gulped. “Did you …and I…..ever..?” His voice trailed off as he couldn’t continue.

Hiro’s face seemed to fill with sadness. “You meant everything to me, and you cast me away when you were done.” he answered in a broken voice.

Shuichi still stared in shock. “I…we…..I’m sooooo sorry!!”

Hiro burst out laughing. “Take it easy, I’m kidding! We never went out, okay? Don’t worry. I like girls, remember.”

“Oh, yeah,” thinking of Ayaka. He let out a breath of relief. “That’s right!” He had been really worried that there had been some lost memories of his relationship with Hiro that were still repressed.

“What about…. the others?” he queried worriedly. “You know, Suguru, or K …or Sakano?” He glared at his friend as Hiro finally had to stop playing as he doubled over in laughter, tears of mirth on his face.

“You …and any of them?!” he managed to gasp out, breaking out in laughter again. “Gods, Shu, that I’d like to see! You have got to be kidding!”

Shuichi continued to glare at him. “Well, I don’t know!”

“Oh, come on, could you really see Suguru as your lover?”

Shuichi thought about his other band-mate. Okay, Suguru was good-looking, you could almost say cute, but he didn’t feel anything particular for the young man. He was too damn irritating most of the time. “Ah, I guess not.”

“And Sakano?” Hiro pressed, wiping his face.

Shuichi imagined the timid producer and only came up with an image of him on hands and knees bringing him his shoes in his mouth, with a tail wagging like a dog. He blinked the disturbing image away. “No, no, I don’t think so.”

“And K?” Hiro was being relentless.

An image of leather, guns and numerous metallic objects that weren’t all weapons of war began to assault Shuichi’s mind….Arggh!! His brain froze in terror.

“Ah, no, let’s scratch that thought!” He violently shook his head.

Hiro seemed to second that. “You’re right. That’s a little disturbing because K is just plain crazy anyway. But I will absolutely assure you that you never, never, had a relationship with K, all right?”

“Oh, good,” Shuichi said with great relief, banishing K’s demented image from his mind.

Then why was he having those dreams? And who was it? A flashback of his dream came to him; his fingers tangling in short, silky hair, pale against his darker skin. He gasped, his heart almost stopping. Pale hair. Blonde hair. Could it….? No, surely it couldn’t…? No, he wouldn’t? Would he?!

“Hey, Shu, what is it? What’s wrong?” Hiro was looking at him with concerned eyes, as he lay there frozen.

“I didn’t....” his mouth felt dry, making it difficult to talk. “I didn’t…with….”

“Shu, come on, man, you’re scaring me!” Hiro really did look scared and he was sorry for causing his friend that worry but he was completely terrified himself.

“Did I…with…Tohma?”

The completely stunned expression on Hiro’s face made his heart stop. Oh, shit, he did!, he thought. He had! Then Hiro collapsed on the floor. Oh, god, Hiro’s had an heart attack from the shock!

He scrambled to the side of his friend. “Hiro! Hiro! Are you all right? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you! I know it’s horrible of me, but I’m sorry!” he wailed.

He rolled his inert friend onto his back, feeling the body quivering and jerking under his hands. He’s having a seizure!, he screamed in his mind. He had to call an ambulance! His friend was going to die!

“Hiro! Hiro, don’t die! Don’t leave me! You can’t die!” He could see Hiro’s face now, could hear the gasps for air but now could also see what appeared to be a broad smile on his face. No, it must be a grimace of pain. There was also water streaming from his eyes - tears of pain obviously.

He gripped his friend’s shoulders, shaking him. “Hold on, Hiro! I’ll get help. Just hold on!” He began to get up to leave when Hiro grabbed him, not letting him leave. Poor Hiro was so scared of dying alone.

Shuichi was suddenly pulled down and held on Hiro’s chest, feeling it rising and falling beneath his cheek. Finally he heard Hiro speak, “Geez, Shu, you’re going to kill me!” he gasped.

Shuichi closed his eyes tightly. It’s all his fault! The shock was just too much for his friend! He felt Hiro begin to sit up.

“No, don’t move! You need help!”

“I need a drink.” Hiro said, sitting up and brushing aside his smaller friend’s futile efforts to hold him down.

Shuichi watched as Hiro scrubbed his face down and took a long deep breath. “Hey, dude, don’t look so scared. I’m fine. It was just the …unexpectedness of it. I had forgotten how crazy you were.”

Shuichi hung his head in shame. “So it’s true.”

“Don’t be a moron,” Hiro said, slapping him on the back of the head. “Of course, it’s not true, idiot!”

“But you…”

“What? You thought I was like this because it was true? You idiot! It was because I couldn’t believe even you could be so stupid as to come up with such a completely implausible possibility. How could you even think that you might have been having a relationship with Tohma Seguchi?”

“I remember….blonde hair. Or I thought I did.” Shuichi said in a small voice.

Hiro paused for a moment, “Blonde hair, was it?” Then he stood and brushed himself down. “Well, I’ll tell you this now. There’s no way you and Tohma had any sort of relationship other than business.” He glanced down at his friend still kneeling on the floor. “Do you really believe that Tohma would do anything that would jeopardize NG’s control on Bad Luck?”

Put like that Shuichi had to agree with his friend. Tohma was too smart to do that.

“Look, Shu,” Hiro continued as he moved over to begin packing his guitar away. “Since you’ve been back have you felt anything like that for Tohma? Have you had any sort of feelings of wanting to be with him or something?”

He stood and shook his head, “No,” he answered honestly.

“Have you had those sort of feelings about me, or Suguru, or of the others?”

“No, none of you. Yuki’s…” he cut himself off and turned around grabbing his jacket quickly from the chair and turned to face Hiro again with a bright smile. “Hey, let’s go grab something to eat! It’s been a while and there’s this great little place that’s just opened near my place and they are to just die for! Come on!”

“Okay,” Hiro accepted watching his young friend disappear out the door, quite obviously beating a hasty retreat. So, what had Shuichi been about to say, he wondered. Yuki’s name came up and he suddenly did a runner? Hmm, Hiro walked out following the receding figure down the corridor. Was Shuichi beginning to remember Yuki perhaps? Was that his dream?

They had their meal and it was just as good as Shuichi had proclaimed, before returning to Shuichi’s apartment for some further drinking. They had no intention of a really big night, there was still work tomorrow and dealing with K and a hangover was just not a good combination. You needed to have your wits about you with that man. Also both Hiro and Shuichi were serious enough about their music to not deliberately sabotage a session just for the sake of a few drinks.

However Shuichi had had a few more than he usually did and was happily tipsy – enough to loosen him up and probably make him sleep very soundly but not enough to give him a serious hangover the next morning. Hiro also felt the warm buzz through his system as the alcohol permeated his bloodstream giving him a light feeling.

“How are you doing?”’ Hiro asked his friend.

“Fine,” Shuichi said, not even slurring his speech. No, he wasn’t too drunk. “I feel better about myself all the time you know. But sometimes I’m sad.”

“Why?” Hiro asked, beer can paused before his mouth.

“Because it almost seems that my life in North America was just a dream,” He looked over at his friend as he grabbed a handful of chips from the bowl on the table between them. “I know it all happened.” He glanced down at his own stretched out body. “When I have a shower the evidence is still there. When the weather gets a little cold and my leg begins to ache it reminds me that it was all real, but....” He tapped one temple lightly with a finger. “In here, it seems like it is fading away.” His hand dropped to wrap around his can of beer. “I feel sad that I seem to be losing something important.”

“Don’t worry. You won’t forget completely.” Hiro tried to reassure his friend.

“Won’t I?” he asked quietly. “Hadn’t I already forgotten important things?”

“Hey, cheer up! It’s all been coming back to you now. You’ll remember everything soon enough.”

“Will I?” He rolled onto his side, looking at Hiro seriously. “I feel like I’m still missing something, something really important.” His hand rose upwards and made a clasping motion as though trying to grab something just out of reach. “Sometimes it seems like it is just there in front of me but I can’t seem to see it or find it. Why is so much coming back yet I still feel there’s more?”

Hiro took a deep drink finishing off his can. “Look, Shu, there’s a lot for you to remember, your whole life in fact. That’s a lot. You’ve got to give yourself time for it all to come back.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Huh?” Hiro was getting confused.

Shuichi rolled onto his back again. “What if the thing I feel is there is something really bad? Worse than the rape?”

Hiro’s heart clenched at his friend’s mention of that incident. True, Shuichi seemed to be doing much better with it all, but it still must hurt.

He could remember when Shuichi had first remembered that incident, the horrible collapse he had witnessed. He had thought he would lose his friend then, he couldn’t see how he could go through all that again. It wasn’t fair that he had to go through all that again!

He had held Shuichi as he had cried, not knowing what to do, feeling so helpless. When Tohma had arrived he had felt a burst of trepidation when the man had walked in on them. He knew that Tohma Seguchi was quite ruthless and he hadn’t known just how sympathetic he would be to Shuichi’s plight, but the man had done nothing except walk forward and wrap a blanket gently around his sobbing friend and told him to take him home, before leaving.

He hadn’t argued but picked up Shuichi, keeping him wrapped tightly in the blanket and walked out. He had found the corridor unexpectedly deserted. He had been half-expecting, and dreading, that a crowd would have gathered but there was no-one. His path remained clear all the way to the front odors, eerily silent and still. There he had found a taxi waiting, with the driver opening the door as soon as he exited and beckoning him forward, leaving no doubt that the vehicle was for him. He had stepped inside and directed them to Shuichi’s new apartment as it was the closest.

Upon reaching their destination the driver indicated there was no charge and he hadn’t tried to argue or query any further, only turned with a huddled Shuichi still in his arms and made his way into the flat.

He had stripped his friend naked as the shower warmed up, all the while talking quietly to him, repeating over and over again that it hadn’t been his fault, none of it had been his fault, he was all right now, it was all over with and he was there for him, always there for him. He had kept up that litany the entire time, never lapsing into silence.

He had lifted Shuichi under the water, joining him under the spray of water. He had stripped only to his briefs, uncertain how his friend would respond to another naked man near him just at this point. He had thoroughly washed the shaking body, all the while continuing to talk to him, before drying him thoroughly and wrapping him in a clean dry towel and carrying him to the bedroom.

Shuichi had still been sobbing, deep, chest rending, slow sobs that seemed to shake his small form right to his toes. He settled him on the bed and searched quickly for something to dress him in. Usually he knew that Shuichi would wear just boxers and tank top to bed but tonight he thought he would need something more.

Hiro sighed in frustration. He could find nothing that seemed suitable as most of Shuichi’s clothing tend to be more on the skimpy side, or too heavy and bulky.

With a quick glance towards the huddled figure, Hiro dashed back to the bathroom and grabbed his own shirt. He held it to his nose and sniffed. Not too bad. He hurried back to find Shuichi exactly where he had left him. Awkwardly he got him dressed in a pair of boxers and slipped his shirt over his head.

He then bundled him under the covers, wrapping them firmly around the small frame, making certain that he would be warm enough. He had turned to leave but Shuichi’s small hand was clasped around his, refusing to release its hold. Not wishing to upset him further Hiro lay down next to him and held him tightly until the sobs finally receded and he fell into a troubled sleep.

As he had held his weeping friend, Hiro couldn’t help but think that it should be Yuki that should be there. He should be the one who should be here in this apartment, speaking the words of comfort, holding the weeping youth, stroking his hair. It was Yuki’s place to be doing all of this, not his.

But Yuki wasn’t here. And if he had been, then none of this living nightmare would have happened at all, right back to that fateful day when Shuichi had boarded that plane.

That had been a terrible time for him, to witness the pain that Shuichi had gone through once again. He hated the thought that Shuichi had had to live through all that again without the one person in his life who should have been there above all else.

He heard Shuichi move on the couch, the noise brining him back to the present, as he turned his head to look at him. “It just seems like there is something else that I still need to remember. Something buried right down in the depths somewhere but I don’t know what it is.”

Shuichi idly drew patterns on the side of the couch as he continued, .“You know, getting my memories back feels a little like I’ve been unlocking and opening up all these drawers in my mind. A lot of the time it’s exciting and interesting, like making a new discovery, or finding a cherished childhood treasure you had secreted away. But the further I go, the more drawers I open, there are other things too. Hidden things. Dark things. Things I wish weren’t there. I thought that surely the rape would have been the last drawer I would have like that, the last hidden door. I could understand why I would have locked that memory down as far away as I could. But it still feels as if there is something else. Something really important and very, very …emotional. I’m scared of what that might be.”

Hiro cracked open another can and took a long swallow to moisten his dry throat. “Well, I don’t think it’s anything as horrible as what happened to you. I know that’s the worse that had so just let it come to you. Stop worrying about it and I’m sure you’ll remember.”

Shuichi gave him a small smile. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” he agreed with his friend not wanting to worry him any further.

But as he returned to looking at the ceiling he couldn’t help but think that it’s easy for Hiro to say don’t worry, but not so easy for him to do. What else was still waiting in the dark recesses of his mind? There seemed to be one dark corner where no light seemed to penetrate but he knew there was something there. Like a dark beast crouched in the darkness, a memory was still hiding, waiting to be found. Only would it greet him with a joyful wag of the tail, or would it devour him whole?

**************

Am I going crazy?, he thought, wiping the sweat from his brow. He staggered to the bathroom, turning on the taps and standing under the warm water of the shower. He thought about turning only the cold water on but it wouldn’t have done much good now. The aftermath of the latest dream still clung stickily to his body. He soaped himself down, blushing. Hell, this was the eighth night in a row! It was beginning to drive him crazy! He was a complete pervert fantasising about Yuki like this!

After his talk with Hiro about his uncertain sexuality, he had found his dreams becoming more and more erotic. Like any hot blooded young man that would generally be a pleasurable thing, but he found that the subject of his hidden desires, the one person that figured so prominently in them, was Eiri Yuki.

When it had first begun he had been disgusted. Why was he thinking such things? He had been remembering so many little things now and it was all beginning to make horrifying sense. He knew that they had lived together. No one had hidden the fact that they had and he remembered that. He remembered too the way the media had jumped all over them after Yuki’s announcement on TV. Well, he didn’t really have much choice after Yuki’s brother had tricked him into being kissed on that cooking programme! If Yuki and he had wanted to salvage both their careers drastic measures had to be taken! Thank goodness, they had pulled it off and the public had accepted it. He dreaded to think of how easily it could have gone the other way!

He scrubbed harder. Hiro had said he wasn’t outright gay, yet here he was having wet dreams about a man! Just what did that tell him?! He paused, though he did have a relationship with Annette and that had been perfectly fulfilling. Perhaps Hiro was right and he wasn’t actually gay. Perhaps he was bi-sexual. He shuddered a little. He didn’t think he liked men! Then, perhaps he really did. Was that why he had dressed the way he did on stage? Was it his hidden sexual desires that had made him wear that costume? He knew that Hiro had laughed when he had raised that point, trying to tell him that it was simply a costume and one that worked very effectively because it appealed to so many groups of their fans. As he had pointed out to Shuichi, their fan base didn’t just include females but also males. Shuichi simply dressed in a manner that oozed sexual appeal to any gender. It didn’t necessarily mean that it was a projection of his own sexuality.

He lathered his hair with shampoo, still not feeling clean. He felt such distaste for himself. No wonder Yuki hadn’t tried to contact him. He must have known that Shuichi was lusting after him, or guessed it and was only too glad to not have him chasing after him anymore. How could he be like this? He had probably ruined a good friendship with the older man by his stupid behaviour and obvious lack of control. Hiro always told him that he had no self control when he was drunk What’s the bet that he got drunk one time and tried to jump Yuki? He cringed inwardly, scrubbing harder. Gods, how he must have screwed things up! Somehow he must have got carried away with all the make-believe of their supposed relationship and tried to make something more of it. He was so pathetic. No wonder he could remember distinctly Yuki calling him a moron so clearly. He was. A complete and utter moron.

He sighed and leant his head against the cold tiles, letting the water rain down on his back. What the hell was wrong with him?! He was just so screwed up!

************

“Hey, you look awful!” Hiro said as he walked through the door the next morning, peering at the dark circles under his eyes. “You okay?”

He tried to smile back, “Not really sleeping lately.”

“Something bothering you?”

He shook his head making his way to the microphone. He could hardly tell Hiro that it was because he was having such intensely erotic wet dreams each night he couldn’t sleep!

“Not really,” he lied. “Just probably a lot going on in my mind at the moment. We’re working pretty hard to get this album together and it’s the first one since I got back so it’s a pretty big deal.”

“Yeah,” Hiro agreed, drawing his guitar strap over his head. “I guess it is. You know, I’m really looking forward to doing some concerts again. It seems like it’s been forever since we played for a crowd.”

“That could be pretty good.” Shu agreed, smiling for real this time, the mere thought of a live performance giving him a buzz.

Tohma had spoken to them a week ago about performing a number of concerts in the next couple of weeks as a lead up for the release of their new album. He wanted to get Bad Luck’s name and face out there again, with a new image to promote the new album. The idea of performing live had seemed to fire them all up and they were eager to look at any new directions they could take.

Shuichi had to admit that he hadn’t had any intention of returning to his normal stage attire but hadn’t had the courage to say anything to K or Sakano. So he had been completely surprised when Tohma, K and Sakno had spent some time with all three members of Bad Luck to discuss new costumes. Tohma had stated quite clearly that it would not be suitable for Shuichi to dress as he once had and so therefore if he was going to change his image then both Hiro and Suguru would have to do so also.

Shuichi was more than happy to accept that there would have to be changes. His scars were still quite visible despite continuing treatment. Although he wasn’t that self conscious about them himself, he also wasn’t comfortable in parading them around for all and sundry to see. Further skin grafts and plastic surgery would help some of the worst of the damage and time would alleviate much more, but no matter what he did he would be permanently marked in some small way for the rest of his life.

Tohma had insisted that he strip down to his boxers as he was scrutinized from all directions with a clinical eye. He had squirmed uncomfortably under that gaze that seemed to strip all his defenses aside and he had never felt more like an inanimate object than he did now. Tohma viewed each and every blemish on his body, tracing their paths with his eyes, his mind thinking constantly.

The worst scar was one that ran from his hairline down the back of his neck on the left side, veering across his back and shoulder blade. It had been the deepest wound and the worst burnt so the edges had not meshed cleanly when healing. Those two factors would result in this mark remaining with him for life. It had been a very serious wound and had almost ended his life. A fractions difference either side of the spine, a fraction deeper, and he would have been dead. His longer hair covered the mark at the neck so it was really a matter of how to hide the rest of the damage on his back.

K spoke up as Tohma continued to circle the almost naked lead singer of Bad Luck where he stood on a stool. “Instead of trying to hide the scar, why not simply camouflage it?” he finally said.

Tohma stopped walking and looked over at him, tilting his head to one side. “Explain,” he requested, although K was quite well aware it was more of an order.

K walked across to join Tohma as they both examined Shuichi’s back. “Well, you want him to still look sexy so you don’t want to have to cover him from neck to knee in clothing, do you?”

Tohma acknowledged this assumption with a silent tilt of his head and K continued, “So if we still want him to be showing some body we don’t want to have to do concealment make-up over everything because under the lights and with the sweat it’s going to be a bitch to maintain and it could look pretty patchy by the end of a concert. Not a pretty sight if some of it starts to wipe off and shows the scar.”

“True,” Tohma agreed. “And your solution is?”

K raised a hand and without touching the skin traced the path of the scar. “Instead of trying to hide it all, why don’t we look at creating something that it can be a part of? That way it would still be there, still concealed, but more by camouflage.”

“Did you have something specific in mind?” Tohma asked.

K grinned at him, “Of course,” he said with no false modesty. “The new single from the next album is called ‘Twisted Vines’. So why don’t we make a fake tattoo that covers all the scars across Shuichi’s body in the shape of vines?”

Tohma raised an eyebrow at this suggestion but said nothing for a moment as he turned to look once again at the scars running around Shuichi’s form. K could see his eye following those tracks and filling in the view with an artistically woven tattoo also.

“I think it’s got very good possibilities,” K put in persuasively, watching the President. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it didn’t start a fashion craze afterwards as well.”

“Hmm,” was Tohma’s answer as he continued to weigh up the possibilities. “Yes, you’re right. I could see that working for this one certainly. Before a decision is made however, let’s see what else we have.” He walked around to face Shuichi, looking up into his face.

“Yes, the broken cheek has healed well. There is only a slight protuberance evident which I don’t believe would be enough to notice on stage. Even if it was, that slight imperfection seems to make you look more mature than you had previously. So that is all to the good if we wish to break away from your previous image. We are moving away from the ‘pretty boy’ image and to a slightly more dangerous, though just as raunchy lead singer of Bad Luck. Bad Luck is being reborn, and I want the birth to be spectacular and heard loudly all across Japan.”

He walked around again. Shuichi now thought he knew what a fish felt like as a shark circled in closer. Tohma reached out a hand and he involuntarily flinched away even though there had been no contact with the skin at all.

“Hmm, yes, this needs to be dealt with also.”

Shuichi glanced down to look at the scar that crawled across his stomach towards his navel.

K stepped forward to peer at it as well. “Not a problem,” he said cheerily. “We can blend that one in too.”

“Hmm,” Tohma stood back and tapped a finger against his chin in thought. Shuichi shivered a little. He was beginning to get a bit chilled standing there in his underwear.

“Very well,” Tohma finally said, turning to K. “Do a trial run and I’ll review the results. Let’s see what you can come up with.” Then he turned and left.

“Whew!” K let out his breath noisily. He grinned up at Shuichi. “Come on, let’s get into make up now!”

“Now?” Shuichi paused in his hurried dressing, surprised.

“Yep!” K said, grabbing his arm and dragging him from the room, “No time like the present! Let’s get this finalized and get the President’s approval so we can get on with things.”

“Hey!” Shuichi managed to get out, hopping on one leg as he hadn’t fully got his pants back on. “Hey, wait up at bit!” But his protest fell on deaf ears as K dragged him along the corridor behind him unmercifully.

Shuichi had been a little uncertain about all these changes suggested at first but had soon begun to get caught up in the new look that K had in mind for him, and by the end result he found he actually did like it.

Gone were the tiny black shorts of previously. Now there were low slung tight pants, which would sometimes be leather, sometimes lycra to allow for better movement. He had been spending time at the gym as part of his rehabilitation since getting home and his flexibility had now returned so he could go back to being quite energetic on stage, as long as his body held up. The pants also served to hide the long thin red scar that ran down his leg from hip to ankle from the operation to piece it together. They spent hours perfecting the look until K deemed he was satisfied enough to present it to the President for his approval.

Shuichi stood decked out in black leather pants, bare torso with airbrushed vines twisting around his naked skin from his hairline to his stomach. His hair had been trimmed, with wide orange steaks blended through, highlighting his cheekbones, and thick mascara accentuated his wide eyes.

The temporary tattoo of the vines turned out far better than even K had expected. They wove around Shuichi’s trim body like a lover’s embrace, drawing the eye to follow its path. The slightly puckered scar that marred his abdomen now became part of that foliage, and like a pointer, directed the eye towards his navel where a bright paste gem was glued that glittered as it caught the light when he moved, before continuing on its way to disappear into the waistband of his trousers at the front.

Hiro and Suguru had been called to attend his transformation as they would be next, and would have to blend with what ever look Shuichi ended up with. Hiro had just whistled at the result appreciatively. Even Suguru told him he looked good enough for the fans to eat. Tohma had taken one look and given a nod which sent Sakano into tears of joy and K into managerial mode over-time.

K arranged for some publicity shots to be taken right then and there at the studio, dragging the poor photographer from his warm bed and back to the studio. These were sent off to the relevant magazines to be included in the next editions and then they sat back to watch the reaction. How would the fans of Bad Luck react to this dramatic change?

It was overwhelming. The fans went wild. The new look Shuichi was a hit. Problem solved.

*************

Yuki arrived home from another wasted meeting with his editor, and threw himself onto the couch. He reached over and hit the remote, barely registering the sound of the TV as it came on. He was so sick and tired of everything.

He sat up a little straighter, trying to loosen the tense muscles in his shoulders and not succeeding. A beer was looking really good.

He dragged himself to his feet and made his way to the fridge, reaching inside to grab a can and noting that he was almost out again. He frowned. He didn’t want to have to go out shopping. Maybe he could convince Tohma to do it for him so he didn’t have to bother. He turned away and walked back to the living area. His ears caught the strains of a familiar song and glancing towards the TV saw a clip of Bad Luck performing ‘Rage Beat’.

He paused where he was standing, looking down at the screen, listening to the reporter speak enthusiastically of a ‘new look’ for the band. The picture changed now, fading away from the familiar and now showing a new Bad Luck.

Yuki sank to his knees before the TV, beer can falling from his lax hand to roll on the floor, spilling liquid across the floor. There on the screen before him in full colour was Shuichi, a very new Shuichi. A sexy, beautiful, breathtakingly gorgeous Shuichi.

He didn’t even notice his hand reaching out to touch the face on the screen.