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Faith	By : BishiMistress Category: +S to Z > Trinity Blood Views: 6602 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Trinity Blood, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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DarkCrusnikMagician: yeah, I don't know how much Cain and Isaac will be in the rest of this story, but we'll see. I thought it would be cool to see two crusniks interacting in their true form. And thanks for the praise!

Darkephoenix: That seems to be the consensus. Psst! I would too ;) and thanks as always for the praise!

Astharoshe: No, she'd not gonna go back, I can tell you that. But we're only going down hill from here! :P

Caranril: LOL well I hope you feel better and I didn't take your first post that way, don't worry! Nobody else thought it was cute I named it's Alucard, but I think it's friggin' hilarious! He thinks he's the SHIT too and he gets all aggro at the cat, it's flipping hilarious.

winterfrau: LOL yeah, I'm setting things up for a mondo shocker. you're going to love it. and hate me. and it's going to FORCE you to read the sequel to see if I really wrote what I wrote ;)

Min: *starts singing all the other peter pan songs* we're following the leader, the leader, the leader, we're following the leader wherever she may go...... *ahem* Lol yeah, I hope you guys don't really hate me in the coming chapters cause they're sorta like... brimming with angst >_< Thanks for the praise read on!

Chapter 34: It Has Been a Lifetime Since My Last Confession

It had been two weeks since Alex had been rescued from the hands of the RCO. The AX members had very few assignments since her return and every member had tried repeatedly to visit her and check on her health. Abel had kept them at bay, and Alex had only seen him and Lady Catherina since her return. She was still fighting the heavy fatigue during daylight hours and had taken to wandering the halls at night. Abel had been on hand and nearby at all times to answer Alexandra�s questions and help her through the remainder of her transformation. She had taken to learning everything she could about her new body and its powers, soaking up every detail voraciously. She had accomplished flight on her own far sooner than Abel had expected. She�d confessed to being hungry, or thirsty, she wasn�t sure which, but knew that normal food did not satisfy the feeling.

Abel offered to take her into the slums, but she had steadfastly refused. He had also tried numerous times to get close to her, to regain some of the intimacy that they�d lost in their time apart, but every time he was rebuffed. Alex have eventually pulled away from him utterly, disappearing from her room before he came to retrieve her at night. He had only seen her in passing, ducking into her room to avoid him, in the past three days. Tonight, he vowed it would be different. He wanted to hold her in his arms, needed to be near to her, and he swore to himself that tonight he would have just that, no matter how hard she worked to avoid him. So, as the sun began to sink below the horizon, Abel walked through the corridors until he reached her room. He knocked and received no reply. He grew impatient and knocked again, but still received no reply. Abel tried the door and found it unlocked, entering cautiously. He searched the room and found it empty. Abel was hurt and angry; Alex had gone out of her way to avoid him and he had no explanation why. He set out to look for her, his ire rising.

Hugue wandered through the garden, his mind lost in thought as he gazed at the blooms in the dying light. His thoughts, as usual, rested on Alexandra. He wondered if she was okay, he roved over the picture of her crusnik form, forever burned into his memory. His mind wandered over her skin, her lively new hair, those sensitive wings. He wondered if she thought of him and somewhere in his mind he scolded himself for the thousandth time. He was not supposed to hope for his affections to be returned. Yet he did.

�Dearest Hugue, you should know by now that I have thought of you every day since I was brought back to the Vatican.� Alex�s crusnik voice shocked Hugue and he immediately looked up to the roof of the gazebo he�d just passed. She stood at the rounded peak, picking the petals off a rose. Her blue wings were half wrapped around her and her hair was once again caught in an unnatural wind. Her eyes were alight with a beautiful blue glow and Hugue felt his heart beat faster.

�Ma Ch�rie, you startled me.�

�Forgive me, Hugue, I didn�t mean to.� Alex spread her wings and with a few graceful flaps, landed in front of Hugue. As she touched down, his eyes grew a little wider, his eyes flying over her features, soaking them up eagerly. He longed to embrace her, kiss her, but he swallowed and chastised himself. �Hugue, there�s no need to chastise yourself for merely thinking about it.� Alex smiled.

�You... can hear my thoughts?�

�Yes. Yours wander away from you like children playing in a field and it is quite easy to hear them. I can ignore them, if you would prefer.� Hugue flushed slightly, fearing she�d seen his desire for her.

�Forgive me.� Alex smiled as he blurted this out, catching the image of the two of them, tangled, caught in the throws of bliss, a picture he�d perfected and lusted over in his own mind.

�There is nothing to forgive, Hugue.�

�Ma Ch�rie, you are so forgiving.� Hugue turned his face away, his wavy locks hiding his shame.

�Hugue, please. Don�t fret. I will not listen to your thoughts anymore.� He turned to regard the sad look on her face. She closed her eyes for a moment and he thought she was hiding tears, but was shocked to see her wings disappearing and her hair settling in loose tresses against her back. She wore a corset and a long flowing skirt. She was herself again, the beautiful Alexandra he had desired before she had been snatched away from him, not once, but twice. Hugue�s face was painted with a sweetly agonized expression and Alex found herself ashamed to have evoked it.

�Ch�rie.� Hugue reached out to take her hand and gasped as he felt his mind invaded. He was taken up by an image of himself , his bare chest, the scars that marred his pale flesh, the heated gaze he wore as he looked down at Alex. He was seeing himself from Alexandra�s eyes, in an obviously heated exchange, that he never remembered taking part in. The chamber was dark and candle light danced against a stone wall. Someone else in the room was moving around behind her and suddenly a word tore through the image, echoing in his mind as the vision dissipated like so much smoke.

Lies...

�Hugue!� Alex tore her hand away from his grip as though he�d burned her, clutching it her chest. Her eyes were wide, filling with tears and she stared at him in dismay.

�Ch�rie... What was that?� The whole incident had only taken a second or two, but it seemed like several minutes of crystal clear video had been played for him. He wondered if they were her own thoughts, but was puzzled by her drastic reaction. Had she not seen a similar scene, one he�d created involving her? It could not have been so shocking to have her own fantasies inadvertently played back to him.

�Please... You can�t tell anyone! Nobody knows... Abel doesn�t know.�

�Abel knows, Alex. When you were transforming, when you were unconscious, we discussed the matter and I agreed to leave you two be. It only makes sense. You two are immortal beings and I would not ask for my affections to be returned when my lifespan is so much shorter than yours.� Hugue smiled gently, sadly at her, his hands fidgeting at his sides. Alex shook her head, huge tears rolling down her cheeks. Alex took his hand once again and Hugue was overwhelmed by another rapid fire sequence of pictures. He saw himself and Abel, pleasuring her, making her writhe. He could feel stifling guilt and shame, he could hear words of rejection echoing in the background, but they continued. The vision went black and he heard a sob. When the images returned he could feel the chamber swirl around him as though he had a very bad case of vertigo. Looking at the two men again, he saw Isaac and Cain and as a gasp of alarm left his lips, Alex released his hand again.

The whole scene left Hugue feeling nauseated and dizzy, but as he sorted through the stream of images, he realized that Isaac and Cain had changed their appearances to look like himself and Abel and had raped Alex. He also realized that the disorienting spinning of the images must have been due to a drug that they�d given her to help accomplish the task. Alex stood there, waiting for him to respond, her face hidden behind her midnight tresses as though she expected him to strike her.

�Ch�rie.� Hugue didn�t know what to say. He reached out to embrace her, but retracted, not wanting to bring up more images for her. She shuddered and swiped dejectedly at her tears.

�I don�t blame you. I wouldn�t want to touch someone as sullied as myself either.� Alex smiled a little bitterly and turned to walk away. Hugue quickly grabbed her elbow and spun her around, throwing his arms around her in a tight embrace. He cradled her face in his hands and kissed at the trail of her tears. Alex�s face crumpled as her pent up emotions were released and one long pitiful sob escaped her lips. She buried her face in Hugue�s neck and held him in a painful grip. Hugue took all her pain, all her whimpers, every sniffle and sob and rocked her gently, stroking her hair and whispering comforting words to her. His lilting French soothed her frayed nerves but when she pulled back to look into his face her lower lip trembled with the effort of staying her tears.

�Hugue, I didn�t fight it. I didn�t object, don�t you understand? I�m... vile...� Alex tried to pull away, but Hugue held her fast.

�Alexandra! It was obvious even to me that they�d done something to make you less conscious of your surroundings. You were drugged. What other choice did you have? If you�d fought them off, who knows what they would have done to you. You did what you had to, to survive that situation.� Alex shook her head and continued to push herself away from him.

�No, Hugue. They tempted me. They tempted me with the one thing I couldn�t have, and a part of me welcomed it. I�m... damned.� Hugue searched her face, blushing that she�d admitted such a thing outright. He never stopped to consider how far her desire for him ran, but now that she�d admitted to her downfall being, in part, due to her desire to have him physically, he realized just how close they really were to being something.

�Alexandra, don�t you see? There was nothing you could have done. No one could have fought the two of them off while drugged. They presented the most agreeable scenario possible. You did what anyone would have done.�

�No, I should have fought.�

�And then what?� Alex stared at him, her mouth slightly agape as she thought. �You would have fought and they would have beaten you, or raped you more brutally. You gave in to protect yourself.� Alex ducked her head, shaking it in disagreement.

�But I enjoyed it!� Her voice sounded so small, so miserable.

�Alexandra, you are not the first, and you are not the last woman who�s body reacted in such a way to being raped. Rapists use these things against their victims all the time. You must stop blaming yourself.�

�No!� Alex, in her frustration grasped Hugue�s face in her hands, again sending him a stream of images, this time of her and Cain, alone, night after night. He felt her desire for his expert touch, her desire for closeness, but throughout every image he could feel her underlying wish for Cain to somehow truly be Abel. He felt her silent prayer that she would open her eyes and find herself with Abel. He swallowed his pride and his jealousy, somewhat hurt that she�d not wished for it to be him, and pulled her close again as she released his face.

�Don�t you even pay attention to the memory of your true desires? You wanted him to be Abel, did you not?� Alex chuckled bitterly.

�Yes. That is why he released me. He said he wanted me to want him and only him. Since I couldn�t be completely happy with him, he released me.�

�Ch�rie.� Hugue was a little confused with the bitterness behind her words, but realized that Cain had not only raped her body, but her mind as well, returning an Alexandra that was somehow disconnected from the one he�d taken from them.

�How can you stand to touch me?�

�What kind of man would I be if I didn�t want to?� Hugue nuzzled into her hair and she grasped the front of his robes, sniffling quietly.

�Hugue, there�s something else.� Alex hadn�t raised her face from his clothing and he continued to stroke her hair.

�What is it, Ch�rie?�

�I am... pregnant.� Hugue stilled against her and was silent for some time before replying.

�How can you be sure, Ch�rie?�

�It was the last thing Cain said to me before abandoning me. He said to take care of them because they were our future.�

�They?�

�Yes, Hugue. Twin boys.�

�Oh, Ch�rie.� Hugue stroked her hair, unsure of what to say.

�Now that I have changed, I can feel them. They�re so small, not even beginning true development yet, but I can feel my body accommodating them.� She was quiet for some minutes, but when she spoke again, her voice was small again, lost.

�Yes, Ch�rie?�

�I�m terrified.�
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Faith