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Takuya\'s Diary	By : Baylee Category: Digimon > General Views: 1954 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon: Digital Monsters, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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Takuya's Diary

Chapter Four: Words that Appear...

By KellyQ
December 16~

I met up with Kouichi at the back of the video arcade.
I phoned him just two days ago saying that I had needed money. He
didn't question me why I needed it but he did teas me saying that
I was a game freak.>
W>
We stayed behind the arcade a little while longer talking then I
asked about subject of being gay ever bothered him. He said that
it didn't bother him; that's when I noticed a flicker in his eyes
that I didn't like .... he asked me if I ever been kissed before.

I don't remember clearly what happened other than he hurt me. Why
he hurt me? I don't know other than I deserved it and want to
through up!
Kouichi! I'ing ing to kill you! I'm going to fucking kill
you!! How dare you hurt Takuya!! No wonder why he winced when
Kouichi was around. I sighed wishing that I could change
everything but I'm going to beat my brother's ass when he comes
back! I sighed again turned the page.
December 24~

It's my brother's birthday and mom said that I didn't
stay for his birthday that she was going to cut my money in
half and couldn't offered to do that since I owe the man money
again so I just stayed in my room with the door closed wanting
the drug and Kouji so much.
Takuya! I wish you where really here so I can tell you there
are more to things in life than drugs. I turned the page.
January 12~

I had a dream about Kouji last night. It felt so good
and right to hold him, love him but I know that it will never
happen. He'll never love me in that manor. Sure we're friends but
nothing more and the guy that's been giving me the drug has been
arrested last week, so I've been without Speed for two weeks now.
Speed!! Oh my god! That's when I realized that I was shaking.
My heart racing again ... I can't believe ... NO! This can't be
true but it is. I thought he would have more understanding than
that ... a since to know better than take drugs. I turned the
page again ...
January 21~

I've been feeling sick the past two weeks and losing
the feeling in my hands that's why I haven’t been writing
lately. I know its carpal tunnel and my mother won't leave me
alone about homework and coming home from school early because of
feeling sick. She thinks I'm faking but I'm not; I've been
throwing up in the boys’ bathroom lately.
I just sighed feeling sort of sorry. Why Takuya? Why? Why did
you keep so many things away from me? If only I told you! If I
only fucken' told you how I felt! I turned the page and noticed
that I was getting to the end of his diary ... Takuya ... I know
you told me to understand your confused heart ... maybe I'll
understand when I get to the end but right now I don't ... I just
feel angry, regrets, and sad. Letting out a sigh I started to
read:
February 12~

Today was my birthday ... a lonely birthday that is
and I've been thinking about suicide lately; on top of that, my
brother is scared of me ... I would too if he knew who I really
was; just a freak of nature ...
I slammed the book down. I can't take this any more!! Damn you
Takuya! I got up and slammed the book to the floor not wanting to
read any more .... now I understand ... understand why he gave me
the book just so that he could torture me ... but I know that
Takuya wouldn't really do that ... he said that he loved me ... I
just wished that I realized sooner. I got up picked up the book
up and sat down when something struck me ... I opened the book to
the last page ... for some reason I had sudden urge to write
something ... I don't know why ... when I picked the book up
something about made me want to.
I got up and walked to my desk; pulling out my chair I sat
down pulled out at pin from the pen holder and started to write
on other side of the book.
Takuya, I'm so sorry that I didn't realize what was
going on ... but most of all ... I miss you ...
When I lifted the pen up I noticed that the words I wrote
faded and three words appeared:
I miss you too ...
My eyes widen in as I almost chocked! What the fuck is going
on! I just stared at the book and noticed that more words
appeared ...
Kouji, I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you ....
I didn't want you to worry about me ...
I couldn't help but smile feeling something warm and fuzzy in
side, I took the pen and started to write.
That's okay ....
I lifted my pen and waited for a replay ... and finally it
came.
Lire ....
I shook my head smiling and for the first time I could feel
something coming from his diary .... his soul. I put my pen down
on the pand snd started to write.
I know *chuckles* ....
I stared at the book not wanting to keep my eyes off it as my
heart started to feel more alive since his death but he's not
really dead, he's here ... right here next to me talking to me.
Tears started to fall from my face as one landed on the book and
words appeared:
Kouji, please don't cry ...
I hate it when you cry ....
I pen down on the page and started to write ...
I'm just happy that you'll never leave me ...
I lifted my pen up and waited for a replay ... and more words
appeared ...
I'll never leave you Kouji ...
Because I love you ...
More tears started to come down my face as I started to write
...
I love you too, Takuya-chan ...
Before I lifted my pen words appeared ....
D - - - do you really ...
I can tell he was in shock and it made me chuckle and I
started to write ...
Of course I do, silly ...
Words appeared as mine faded ...
Oh, Kouji ...
You don't know how happy that makes me feel ...
I sat there feeling quite normal with a smile on my face. I
turned my head and looked at the clock to notice that it was late
.... I better tell him that I need to go to bed because school is
tomorrow. I took my pen and started to write ...
It's getting late, Takuya-chan and I have to get up and
go to school ...
A reply came after my words vanished ...
Good-night then ...
I started to write ...
Good-night ....
I closed his diary up put my pen away got up clutching his
book to my chest; I walked to my bed I put the diary under my
pillow ... now I really understand why he gave me the
diary ... so we would never be apart.
THE END ...

Now, if you have any questions or comments send
them to KellyQ at Cheetor22@comcast.net
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Takuya\'s Diary