Breaking a Madman

Part 14


Farferello still felt himself struggling against the binds holding him back from escaping. He strained so hard that his altar self was bleeding, wrists cut raw from the force. He stared at the other image that had now formed to represent his younger self. He scowled at the innocent eyes and gentle form though it did make him fight harder. The creature laughed but Farferello didn’t give up. Clanging and scraping filled the air as Farferello ripped his restraints from the mental wall he was holding himself in and turned from the now angry child, chains swinging from his hands.

*You can’t get away from here, it’s your fault, everything that was done to me*

It screamed loudly but Farferello began to move slowly away from it and towards the sounds he’d been hearing.

The sounds of Schwarz.

Following the sound he began to run, his feet almost taking of in its state and began to float a little in the darkness, moving quickly as the voices became louder. As he emerged through the walls holding him back he came across the image of himself. His prone body lay against the bed, wrapped tightly with Crawford holdhim,him, the others sitting around. He could hear the American talk softly, see the dark rings around his eyes and unusual state.

“Crawford”.

His hand moved from its position at his side, moving up to try and touch the image though it was so far away.

“I can’t do this, I don’t know how”.

He looked forlorn as he continued to watch, everything eating away at him in anger and annoyance, pain shining through. He sniffed softly, seeing the American was holding his hand and began to wonder if what he’d said was true, if they really did . Wi. Without thought the lifted hand dropped and the other clenched tightly.

“I don’t know how”.

~~

Crawford blinked from his talking, stopping quickly and looking down at his hand.

/His just squeezed mine…didn’t it? /

He looked to the others, turning his gaze then to the rapid eye movement following.

“Schu, I swore he just clenched my hand in his…”

He looked to the German who nodded, eyes closing as he went into the Irishman’s mind.

~~

“Farfie”.

The voice echoed, making him jump a little as Schuldig’s form materialized besides him, his image making its presence known.

“Schu?”

Schuldig nodded as his image floated down towards him, moving to stand by his side.

“What are you waiting for? You can see he wants you back… we all do”.

Farferello turned his gaze from the image to the one besides him.

“There’s no god Schu, I killed my parents not him, I killed so many others… so many innocents”.

The German shook his head as he moved in front of him.

“Not all of us have always wanted to kill, Nagi hates it, he wants a normal life. So do Crawford and I, we can help you through this. But if you don’t come back Farf, I don’t know what Crawford will do. He’s making himself ill pining for you”.

/Crawford pining for me? /

Farferello was confused; he didn’t know what to do.

“Schwarz helped you along with the killing, we are to blame, but Weiss wasn’t innocent either. No one is innocent in this world. But we can only try to live a day at a time, we can start new and put this behind us”.

“I don’t know how”.

Farferello stared longingly at the image, he wished to go back, have another chance…to be happy. But he wasn’t sure if he could forgive himself.

“Farf. Nothing is for certain, you can’t stay like this, and it’d just be giving up. Then Esset and that doctor would have won, they would have killed you and Crawford with you. I don’t think he’ll survive without you”.

Farferello bit his lip as Schuldig placed a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s up to you”.

The Irishman nodded as Schuldig’s image faded, leaving him standing alone once again.

~~

Crawford turned to look at the German as his eyes opened.

“Well?”

A shrug was his answer.

“It’s up to him now, he’s unsure, scared of what will happen, hard to forgive himself”.

Crawford nodded as he pulled Farferello to sit, placing his arms nd hnd him tightly.

“Please come back to me”

~~

Farferello watched another moment, he felt himself drifting towards the image, then it, dissipate as his body made contact.

/Crawford/

~~

The American pulled back, lying Farferello back down as tears began to streak his cheeks with salty trails. He watched on, heart hoping as Farferello’s eyelashes fluttered against his pale skin. The room was silent as he held his breath. Waiting.

Slowly he watched as the darkened eyelid fluttered and slowly opened, revealing the soft amber glow of Farferello’s eye. It blinked before focusing upwards, moving from the other two, to meet once again with Crawford’s. He tried to speak but nothing would come but gently his fingers tightened their grip with the American’s as he was pulled close gently.

“Thank you for coming back to us”.

Though he was scaand and it hurt from everything he knew the tiniest of smiles lit his face against Crawford’s shoulder. He was home. He knew everything would be better. He knew he could get through the pain with the other three around him and the smile grew just a little as a single tear trailed from his eye.

The other two looked to each other, moving back quietly to allow them this time. They knew it’d be hard from here but both were happy that it should be okay now. Schuldig knew both Crawford and Farferello would be comecome with everything, but another thought tugged at his mind.

/Revenge/

Part 15


Schuldig shuddered in the darkened streets; the snow thick against the ground and coating his hair as it fell.

“Why the hell couldn’t we come here when it was warm Crawford”.

The American in question turned from his position looking out at the street with a glare.

“You know damn well why we are here, now get your ass in gear and put the cigarette out, they’re coming”.

The German sighed but did as asked, pulling his gun from an inner pocket and followed Crawford’s lead. They waited as the five businessmen left the restaurant, all cheery and mostly drunk from a night out. They walked towards their car which was a mistake in itself with their current intoxication and didn’t notice as two shadows emerged on them from the side buildings.

“So I said to the bitch, you didn’t give me what I want so you don’t get paid simple”.

He grinned as he took another gulp from his beer, his friends patting him on the back.

“And what did she say to that?”

The five men turned at the German’s voice, blinking stupidly for a moment.

“Private conversation, fuck off”

They went back to their chatter, one fumbling with the keys to his car as Crawford moved in to block his way.

“I’ll have to take those off you, we can’t have you drive when drunk and kill some innocent peoplght?ght?”

The younger red head of the five glared at him as he tried to push him out of his way.

“Get lost you old coot”

The American smiled and moved with a cold grace as the younger male got the keys into the door. Just as he opened it he turned at a startled choke of breath and watched as the other four of his friends went down, blood seeping from their bullet wounds and making the snow underneath them a sickly pink

“See you in hell Esset”.

Crawford aimed his gun and fired a round of shots before the other had time to react, watching the body slump against the car. The door’s window smashed to pieces as the bullets had ripped through the male’s body. Once everything settled, Crawford placed the smoking gun in his pocket, looking at the bodies with distaste before walking away from the scene.

“When are we going to stop doing this Crawford?”

The American ignored him until the German caught up, grabbing his shoulder and pushing him against the edge of the building.

“Get off me Schuldig”

Crawford’s mouth twitched as his eyes narrowed but Schuldig stayed where he was.

“We can’t keep doing this forever, we took out the main agents but now you want to do the grunts who have nothing to do with it. Do you have an obsession with killing or what because I don’t understand you!”

“I don’t expect you to”.

Crawford pushed away from the wall, shrugging the German’s hands from him as he started down the street.

“Crawford, what do you expect me to tell Farferello when one day you come back from a so called business meeting dead? You know it’ll break him in half, why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

The American swung around in the middle of the alley, breath coming out in pants in the cold air.

“They deserve to die for what they did to him”.

For the last seven months since Farferello had woken up they’d gone back to England. After many nightmares, tears and anguish Farferello and the rest of Schwarz were slowly getting back on track, but after a few weeks both Schuldig and Crawford had left with Nagi’s help to track down the main members of Esset and revenge Farferello. They’d been successful.

Although they’d known about the asylum not one of the Esset heads had ever thought Schwarz would go after them, that was their down fall but since the fall of the leaders, Crawford had been stalking even the lowest members around the world under pretense of business trips.

“We killed all who deserve to die, don’t you think there’s been enough death? Do you want to eat a bullet one-day and leave Farferello alone? You know as well as I do that if not for you he wouldn’t be where he is now. He’s trying to move on and so should you. You should be with him, not making excuses and lying to him to kill off Esset members, it’s stupid”.

Crawford made no attempt to defend himself as he met the German’s eyes.

“I can’t help but feel useless, like it’s all my fault”

“Ugh! CRAWFORD WAKE UP! None of it was your fault, it is as much as all of ours. You can’t keep dredging up the past. Look at Farf. He’s trying to move on, he’s back at school, doing courses now when six months ago we never thought he’d leave your side, seven we never thought he’d wake up. How do you think he’ll feel if he finds out you’re lying to him? That we both are? He’ll either think we’re having an affair, or worse he’ll find out what we’re doing. You know how he feels about killing now, he’s still finding it hard to forgive himself, you know that more than I do so stop being an idiot. Call this quits and go home to him. HE needs you more than you need to revenge him”.

He waited for the retaliation but it never came, he just got a nod and a sigh.

“You’re right, I’m sick of lying to him and I miss him, he probably feels ignored in the last month because of this. We’ll leave tonight, we can get back to England by the time his school finishes, then we can pick Nagi up from collage”.

Schuldig nodded as he caught up before slapping him on the back.

“Wait, no can do. I can’t. My boss said if I don’t get back to London for this clothing shoot he’d kick my ass and I can’t miss the chance of getting that model in to bed”.

He sighed happily as he grinned at the dismissive shake from Crawford.

“You’re still trying to get him into bed? I don’t believe you”.

Schuldig’s grin grew.

“Come on Crawfy, you’ve seen him, he’s just sooo…. Ugh he has the cutest ass ever”.

Crawford shrugged his shoulders as they made their way to his car, both getting in and starting towards the small airport they’d landed in.

“You’d know all about that right?”

Schuldig nodded with a wide smile. Since starting anew, he’d found himself hard pressed to find a job. Crawford by now was the manager of a business based where they were living, although he did get frequent work trips and had to go to London most days for staff meetings. He’d learnt enough from Takatori and previous experience had helped him work up the executive ladder quicker than usual and was commanding almost two hundred men and woman under him. Nagi as thought, was taking his exams in a private school. Although it was harder to get use to than Japanese schools and teaching, he found himself head of class, even if the teacher did send letters home, telling Crawford that although he appreciated the boy’s skill he didn’t like being told what he was doing wrong. Nagi just said teachers didn’t like being told how to do their job and carried on with his homework.

The biggest change of all was Farferello. After a month of getting stronger and talking through what he’d been through with Crawford, he slowly started to recover. He kept away from any previous hobbies and took almost three weeks to pick up a knife to eat. The mental anguish still haltered him now and he’d often be found wide-eyed, frozen until someone, usually Crawford talked him out of it. It was hard on them all but slowly they overcame most things, and seven months on from the day he woke, he was taking night classes to help with exams and attending a public school that accepted older students with difficulties, or who hadn’t had school experiences when younger. His private life was slowly forming to something distinguishablt tht the school he’d been jumpy with how people looked at him, sometimes Crawford or Nagi having to be called in when he got freaked out, but after the first three months it seemed to go well, smoothly.

As for him and Crawford, it’d been slow starting. Crawford, once knowing of the events in the asylum was angered more and Farferello felt unworthy to be around him, let alone with him. Their relationship was strained sometimes but neither would let the other go, even for just a moment. Crawford knew it’d take some time for Farferello to accept his love fully but until then he would help him when need be.

~~

As Crawford turned into the darkened airport, he watched as Schuldig paid off the guards and also made them think no one had passed, he knew he had to stop this revenge thing. Schuldig was right, he couldn’t bare to see Farferello more hurt if he found out Crawford was lying about some of his frequent trips and knew he’d never forgive himself. They moved from the car to where the plane was waiting, not caring that it was late and he was tired, getting home was more important to him.

“Buckle up, we’ve got an Irishman and a guy with an ass to go home to”

Schuldig grinned as he did so.

“A nice ass Crawford”.

“Whatever.”

He rolled his eyes as he started the engines already feeling the headache coming on as the German started singing to himself. He knew he had this and a 101 ways of seducing models to come before they got home.

/why didn’t I bring Nagi along on this instead? /


Part 16


A growl of annoyance issued from Farferello’s throat as he left the school. The doors slammed closed on him as the gust of wind hit his face, making him shudder as the rain continued to pour down. Sighing a little he watched the deserted streets. Crossing the road he tried to hide his books under the jacket he was wearing. He’d spent hours doing the work and wasn’t about to waterlog it.

The trip towards home was usual; the roads quiet now because of the rain and the later time he came out. Keeping his face down as he walked he blinked and looked up when he suddenly felt the rain stop dripping down the back of his collar and onto his neck

“Crawford!”

He smiled as he turned, noticing the American to his side, a black umbrella above him, shielding him from the rain. ForgForget something?”

Crawford smiled as he took the books from the Irishman, directing him to where he’d parked the car. It’d been a battle to get back to England after almost strangling the German for singing 1001 bottle of beer on the wall the whole trip back and after being waved off he’d set off on the trip to theool,ool, glad to see the Irishman hadn’t left yet.

“I Nag Nagi with you?”

Usually they walked together as Farferello got out first and as he opened the door, shuffling the books into the back seat and Farferello into the passenger besides him he smiled softly.

“No, he’s meeting up with some friends to talk computers, they’re thinking of getting the teacher fired as he can’t do his job, but considering Nagi is a renowned hacker it’s no wonder he’s better”

He smiled a little, running a hand through his slightly longer hair to rid it of water droplets before turning the heating up in the car and putting the radio on.

“It’s a nice surprise Brad”.

Crawford smiled after a ‘hmmm’ about where Nagi was, and let the other man turn the radio to some awful rock station, making his ears tingle a little at the loudness.

“How was school?”

They often shared little chats; it kept them from thinking back and was a more comfortable topic for both.

“Great, we’re doing this photography course, Schu said he’d help me and was talking about the model with a cute ass and that he’d pose if I ne him him. I had to stop him before he went into what type of poses he’d do after the naked part came into play”.

He grinned a little as he stared out of the window, gaze turning from that and back to Crawford.

“I wouldn’t if I were you, Schu has this little obsession with the guy”.

Farferello laughed then, something Crawford cherished after his somber, quiet ways.

“You’re telling me, he once had a conversation for two hours talking about the perkiness of the guys butt”.

He shook his head as they drove, smiling softly as he turned to watch the man next to him when they stopped at a traffic light. Crawford smiled back, tapping his hand against the steering wheel as he looked out at the pouring rain.

“I was thinking, if you don’t have any work next week, maybe we could do something. I’ve got that week off from school for the holidays and if you’re not busy…”

He dawdled off, going silent for a moment as he fidgeted. Crawford looked to him softly before putting the car into drive.

“I am the boss Farfie, I’m sure they can work without my help for a week, it sounds like a good idea”. He smiled, glad that Farferello wasn’t mad and did want to spend time with him.

“We don’t have to do much, just together, I…I miss you”

Crawford moved a hand from the wheel, to take Farferello’s in his own and gave it a soft squeeze.

“I’ve missed you to, but I can promise no more business trips like before okay”.

He made the silent promise to himself after thinking about what Schuldig had said, he knew it’d hurt Farferello more if he found out he’d been lied to. His smile grew as Farferello’s did, receiving a shy kiss to the cheek and a slight blush from the other man.

“I’m pleased… maybe, maybe we can do more… together”.

His implication was clear and Crawford smiled, it meant Farferello was preparing himself to go further in their relationship.

“When you’re ready Farf… I promise, I’m not going anywhere, neither of us are ever again”.

He squeezed the Irishman’s hand, receiving another gentle squeeze.

“I love you…”

Crawford smiled, turning in his seat as he took his eyes from the road for a moment.

“I love you to Farf… always”.


~Owari~