Coming around

\"My brother said that?\" Yuki looked at Kyou, smirking. \"Who knew he was capable of coherent thought.\"

\"Yeah, I was surprised too.\" Kyou handed the waitress some bills to cover lunch. \"You want to take this outside? Or someplace else? It\'s not a short story- I\'ve really only just started.\"

Yuki shrugged. The weirdness of the story seemed to be wearing off, and he found himself wanting to know more. \"We can just sit here, if that\'s okay. It\'s not like it\'s crouded.\"

\"Sure... but that waitress overheard me talking about seeing you guys in the woods. She\'s refilled my tea about 7 time since then.\"

Yuki laughed. \"Yeah, sure. Do you want to just head home? Shigure said that he needed to take latest manuscript into town, and Tohru works today, so the house should be empty for a couple of hours.\"

Kyou stood. \"It sounds like as good a place as any.\" As they left the resturaunt, Kyou asked, \"Now, what was I saying?\"

\"You had just left my brother\'s shop.\"

Kyou wandered around town for a couple of hours, alternatly not trying not to think about Haru and wondering what the hell he was going to do about him. He didn\'t love Haru, he was pretty sure of that. In his heart, he longed for Tohru. There was no room for anything else there at the moment. Still, he felt like he owed something to Haru. Maybe an apology, maybe not. Maybe another chance to morn. All Kyou knew was that he wanted to talk to Haru again.

His feet took him where he wanted to go without really consulting his brain. He found himself in front of the Sohma main house. He stood there for a few moments, trying to decide what to do. He had been in the house after Akito\'s death, but he hadn\'t really made a habit of it. It held some pretty horrible memories for him.

Kyou pushed back the thoughts of what had happened to Tohru, Yuki and him that night and stepped through the gate. The courtyard was deserted, and Kyou found himself stalling there as well.

Haru found him sitting on a bench at the enterance of one of the more formal gardens. \"What are you doing here?\" The white-haired man asked, his voice more apprehensive than angry.

Kyou turned at the sound of his voice, startled. \"I didn\'t hear you...You surprised me.\"

\"What are you doing here?\" Haru repeated, not as nice this time.

\"I came to talk to you.\"

\"Why?\" Haru asked. Kyou didn\'t have an answer. \"Please go away. I don\'t really want to talk about what happened. Especially not to you.\"

\"Why not? I\'m not upset at you or anything. If anything, I\'m partly to blame.\" Kyou frowned at himself for the last part. He hadn\'t really thought about it before, but what he said was true.

\"You think I\'m worried that you\'re mad at me?\" Haru snorted. \"I just don\'t want to talk about it.\" Haru said it, but he didn\'t walk away.

Kyou stood. \"I\'m sorry. I don\'t even know what I want to talk to you about. I just guess I wanted to talk to someone who understood what... well.\" Kyou shrugged. \"I wanted to talk to you because you know what I\'m going through.\" He shoved his hands into his pockets and turned away from Haru. \"I understand if you don\'t want to talk to me. I guess I wouldn\'t want to talk to me anyway.\"

To Kyou\'s surprise, when Haru spoke he was standing right next to him. \"That\'s kind of a joke, you know. I don\'t even understand what *I\'m* going through.\" Haru laughed joylessly. \"I\'m sad, but I\'m not. I\'m angry, but I\'m not.\" He sighed. \"You\'d think I\'d be used to the fact that Yuki was never going to want me by now. It\'s not as if he ever gave any inclination to the contrary.\"

Kyou nodded. \"It\'s the same with Tohru. She\'s always had eyes for Yuki. I didn\'t stand a chance.\" They walked into the garden, which smelled sweet in the morning air. \"I guess I always knew it, and that\'s why I never tried anything with her. I knew she\'d just freak out. She wouldn\'t want to hurt my feelings, but she wouldn\'t want to be with me either.\"

\"We are a couple of real winners, aren\'t we?\" Haru kicked at the ground. \"I hate feeling helpless. I hate this feeling of loss.\"

Kyou nodded. They walked silently for a while, brooding in their own personal sorrow.

\"You know, it\'s funny how your brain copes with pain.\" Kyou laughed a little, and Yuki looked at him, a little confused.

\"What do you mean?\"

\"Well, there I was, basking in the glory of my loss, and all of the sudden, my brain turns to the kiss. I\'m suffering from the heartbreak of my life, and all I can think about is how Haru\'s lips were just a little chapped. It\'s stupid.\" Kyou shrugged.

\"No, it\'s not.\" Yuki paused. \"You dealt with the pain by thinking of something else. Besides, it sounds like it was kind of starting a crisis for you.\"

Kyou laughed. \"Yeah, it kind of was... Anyway, so I was thinking about the kiss...\"


Kyou looked at Haru. The younger man had clasped his hands behind his back and was staring at the ground. Kyou found himself wanting to take him into his arms and press his--

\"Do you want to go get a drink or something?\" Haru said suddenly, breaking Kyou out of his reluctant fantasy.

\"Ah... sure.\"

\"How did Haru get a drink?\" Yuki asked, pushing the door to the house open. \"He\'s underaged.\"

\"We went to a vending machine. I bought. What does it matter?\"

Yuki shrugged. \"I guess it doesn\'t. Speaking of drinks, do you want something?\"

\"No, I\'m good. Seven refills, remember?\"

\"Oh, right.\"

Haru looked in his wallet, and found it empty. \"I\'m out of money. The next one comes out of your pocket, kitty boy.\"

\"Don\'t call me that.\" Kyou pulled out his own wallet and shoved money into the little slot, finally getting it in on his third try. \"Let\'s take a couple for the road. I\'m sick of hanging out in the alley.\"

Haru took the drink from thet ast as Kyou slid his ID a second time. \"Sounds like a plan. Let\'s go back home. You can stay with me.\" A couple of hours ago, this might have sounded like a bad idea to Kyou, but it was amazing the power of a few drinks have. He followed Haru back to the main house, and up into one of the common rooms. The room was littered with cushions, and Kyou vaugely recognized it.

\"Where are we?\" He asked as he sat on the floor.

\"It used to be one of Akito\'s apartments.\" Haru said, and laughed a little. \"It\'s a little sick, but I like the idea of doing things that Akito wouldn\'t have approved of right in his apartment.\"

\"You\'re right. It\'s sick. But it\'s also kind of funny.\" Kyou took a drink from the brown bottle in his hand. \"Did I ever tell you what happened when Tohru broke the curse?\" Haru shook his head, and Kyou leaned in to tell the story.

\"We sat in there a long time, talking. I found some sake in the cabinet in the same apartment, but mostly we talked.\" They both sat on Yuki\'s bed, Kyou at the foot and Yuki leaning against the headboard.

\"That\'s really a good thing. I\'m glad that the two of you--\" Yuki paused, then tilted his head like he was listening. \"Do you hear that?\" Kyou shot a glance to the door, and they both froze. After a moment, Yuki sighed. \"Probably nothing. Go on.\"

Kyou nodded. He was getting to the part of the story that he feared might be hard to tell, especially to Yuki. \"Well, we talked, like I said...\"

The topic of conversation turned to the kiss.

\"You know, I\'ve never... I\'ve never kissed a guy before.\" Kyou said as he pulled threads from a frayed edge on the pillow he was sitting on. \"It was kinda...\" He broke off to yawn, and Haru stared at him.

\"Kinda what?\" Haru asked, his voice a little strange.

\"It was weird. Like... I dunno.\" Kyou paused and thought for a moment. \"Your mouth is bigger than a girl\'s.\" He scrunched up his nose. \"That doesn\'t really make any sense, does it?\"

Haru seemed very close all of the sudden. \"No, it really doesn\'t.\"

Kyou shrugged, and laughed. \"I\'ve only kissed Kagura, and just that one time, though, so it\'s not like I really know what I\'m talking about.\" Kyou looked up from the pillow to find Haru face so close that he could feel the younger man\'s breath. \"Haru- what are you...\" Haru cut him off with another kiss. This one wasn\'t as clumsy as the last one, and it was definatly more deliberate. Kyou balked for a moment, but didn\'t pull his face away. Haru kissed his closed lips for a few moments, then pulled back and looked at him with heavy lidded eyes.

They shared a look, but Kyou was a little too muddled to think. His lips felt unduely hot, and his hands went cold. A second went by, and another, and Haru turned his face away and closed his eyes. Kyou could feel the hurt coming off the younger man. He lifted his hand to touch Haru\'s face. Surprised, Haru looked at him again. Kyou leaned in to return the kiss.

Haru froze, then pulled away. \"Uh, Kyou...\" Kyou opened his eyes. \"Do you really think---\"

Kyou frowned. \"Don\'t think. Please?\"

\"I\'m pretty sure it was the please that did it.\" Kyou was looking at Yuki with a very serious expression.

\"You... ah...\" Yuki seemed more than a little flustered. His brows were drawn, and he looked completly lost for words. Finally he appeared to give up, and shook his head.

\"Anyway...\" Kyou looked at Yuki. \"You going to be okay?\" Yuki nodded. \"Anyway, I said \"Please,\" and he seemed to think for a second.

Haru looked confused. He turned back to Kyou and looked like he was going to speak, but turned away. Kyou sighed heavily and flopped down on a pillow. \"I\'m sorry. I just...\" He closed his eyes. \"I don\'t know, Haru.\" He put his hand behind his head and tried to figure out what to say. He kept thinking about what Ayame had said, If you like him, you like him. If you don\'t, you don\'t. But the question was just that. Did he like him? Did he want Haru himself, or did he just want comfort? If it was about wanting comfort, it wasn\'t okay, no matter what. If it wasn\'t, how would he deal with the obvious implications of liking a boy?

Kyou\'s search for answers was interuppted by the feeling of breath on his face. He opened his eyes to Haru leaning over him. \"Do you want me, or do you want just anybody?\" The question echoed Kyou\'s thoughts, but looking into Haru\'s face, he found the answer.

\"I... Haru--\"

\"Don\'t promise me anything. Just tell me that you mean it tonight.\" Kyou closed his eyes again. \"Don\'t say anything that you\'ll regret in the morning.\"

Kyou opened his eyes and smiled at the younger man. \"I mean it.\" He touched Haru\'s face, and Haru looked about ready to cry. Kyou sat up a little and kissed him.

Haru bore him back down onto the pillow with the force of his kiss. Kyou op his his mouth and thought to himself, This is farther than I\'ve ever gone before. The thought made him laugh. Haru pulled back, and Kyou told him what he had been thinking.

\"Well, is it still weird?\" Haru asked, looking at him sardonicly.

Kyou laughed again. \"Yep. But weird can be good.\" Haru laughed too.

Kyou sat up then, and kissed Haru. \"So, what do we do next?\"

\"A dangerous question, that one.\" Haru looked at him seriously. \"Just stop me, if you... you know...\" He paused at Kyou\'s confused look. \"It\'s just that, I\'ve, uh, done this before. You haven\'t. If I do something that you don\'t like, or... that is too.... ah...\" Haru looked uncomfortable. After a breath, he said, \"If I go to far, stop me.\" Kyou smiled at him, and nodded.

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Sorry for the short chapter, and the long time between updates. I\'ve just not been able to write. And, yes, the next chapter will be making with the sex. Or, at least, something more than kissing. I promise. ^__~

Also, thanks for all the support. You guys are too kind!

~aki