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Don\'t Know What You\'ve Got \'Till It\'s Gone	By : dragonphire99 Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 7216 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 3
- 4
- 5
FAKE

Don't Know What
You've Got Till It's Gone

by Lady
Dragonphire

Summary: When Dee suffers amnesia after sacrificing
himself to save Ryo from a terrible accident, can Ryo overcome his shyness and
win back the love of his life before it's too late for their love?

Disclaimer:
FAKE and its characters are the property of Sanami Matoh.

WARNING:
The character's reactions might be slightly out of character when faced with
traumatic events, but then again one never really knows how one will act when
confronted by inescapable tragedy.

WARNING: Angst/
mild Lime

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Chapter 3. Once
Bitten, Twice Shy

(Great White)

"Come
in," the familiar sound of Dee's voice was like music to Ryo's ears.
"The door's open."

Ryo took one
last deep breath and pushed open the door, revealing the gorgeous ebony-haired
man who resided in the bed. Dee was propped up against the pillows and reading a sports
magazine that he had managed to charm one of the nurses into bringing him from
the waiting room. Even in this condition, Dee still took his breath away. Only
the bandages on his head and face and the angry bruises on the exposed flesh of
his muscular arms betrayed the illusion that Dee was as he had always been before
the accident.

Piercing emerald
green eyes drunk him in intently, making Ryo look away and blush shyly as he
slowly wheeled himself into the room. After knowing Dee all this time, Dee still had an intoxicating effect
on him. Ryo couldn't resist falling under the spell of the other man's charms.
`Wow, he's hot stuff,' Dee thought as he took in the sight of the handsome
blond who was now getting up and walking towards him, his magazine lying open
on his lap, now forgotten. `Here I am, all banged up, and getting a visit from
an angel. I must have done something good to deserve this.' When Dee flashed Ryo his sexiest smile, it
was all Ryo could do not to melt into the floor right there and then. Willing
his shaky legs not to give out, his heart was filled with joy as he settled for
melting into Dee's arms instead

Dee let out a small gasp of surprise
when Ryo's arms lovingly encircled him in a gentle hug, Ryo being careful not
to put too much pressure on Dee's bruised body. Dee froze slightly at the initial touch from Ryo, but then
hesitantly wrapped his arms around the other man's back, pulling him tighter
against his body and sensing his unspoken need to be comforted by the
raven-haired man. Ryo began to sob against Dee's neck, his body shaking slightly
from trying to hold back his tears. "Oh Dee," he murmured. "I'm so
glad you're alive. I was so afraid that I'd lost you. You don't know how
worried I was." As he continued to sniffle and hold onto Dee as if for dear life, Dee rubbed his hands in small circles
over Ryo's back soothingly and tried in vain to search his memory as to who
this man who obviously cared for him so much was.

When Ryo
eventually pulled back from Dee and smiled up at him through tear-drenched eyes, Dee brought Ryo's hand up in his own
and glanced at the other patient's hospital identification bracelet that read
`Randy McLean'. That's right; Dr. Black did tell him that that was his
partner's name and that he had also been involved in the accident.

"Hi Randy;
are you okay? Dr. Black told me that you were with me in the car when the
accident occurred," Dee said, playing his hunch. A puzzled expression crossed Dee's face at the look of unmistakable
hurt that flickered in Ryo's expressive eyes. "Did I say something
wrong?" he asked in concern.

"No, it's
nothing," Ryo said quickly, replacing the look of anguish with one of
unconvincing reassurance. It had just startled him to hear Dee use his American name, Randy. He
was so used to Dee calling him by his more intimate
Japanese name, Ryo. It was a gentle reminder that the man who meant so much to
him was forever changed. Suddenly feeling a bit awkward at his display of
emotions, Ryo backed away slightly and folded his hands in front of him.
"I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. If you wouldn't have
reacted as you did, who knows what the outcome may have been," he said
gratefully, not letting on that he would have gladly switched places with Dee so that his partner didn't have to
endure this heart-wrenching suffering.

"Oh, well
no problem. I'm sure that you would have done the same for me, partner," Dee said, gazing deep into Ryo's
expressive dark eyes. So that's it. It was nothing more than an emotional show
of gratitude. For a moment there he had thought from the way the man had held
onto him that his feelings ran deeper than he showed on the surface. But that
was wishful thinking. Dee had to focus on the reality of the situation. For all he
knew, Ryo probably was already involved with someone and had a significant
other. He could not let himself be fooled by unsubstantiated evidence when he
wasn't sure if he could even trust his own instincts right now.

Ryo was amazed
that Dee's statement had been exactly what
he had been thinking. Even if Dee had no past memories of him, Dee still shared the unbreakable
underlying bond between them that offered further proof to Ryo that they were
meant for each other as so much more than partners. But how many things had
changed between them and how much was the same? Only time would tell.

Suddenly, there
was a knock at the door and a delivery girl walked in. "Mr. Laytner?"
she asked, holding a large floral arrangement and looking in the general
direction of the two handsome men who were both wearing pajamas and hospital
bracelets questioningly.

"Uh, yeah,
that's me," Dee
said, as Ryo subconsciously moved further away from the bed, to Dee's dismay. The girl walked over and
set them on the bedside table before smiling politely and walking out of the
door.

"Wow, those
are beautiful," Ryo observed as he took in the arrangement of white
carnations and red roses accentuated by a sprig of baby's breath and a single
green fern.

"Yeah they
are," Dee agreed. "I wonder who they're
from?" he asked, surveying the flowers. "Oh, there's a card that came
with them," he said, plucking it out from the plastic holder under a
carnation. "Could you read it to me, Randy?" he asked, secretly
hoping that Ryo would come closer to his bedside.

"Uh, sure,"
Ryo said, curious himself as to who would send Dee the very beautiful and obviously
very expensive arrangement. Dee shifted slightly on the bed, making room for Ryo to sit
and patted it invitingly. Ryo blushed adorably and moved over to sit on the bed
next to Dee, shivering slightly as his heart
began to beat faster at the close proximity of the charismatic raven-haired
man. Taking the small envelope out of Dee's hand as he brushed against Dee's fingers lightly, he opened it
and read, "Get well soon, Dee-senpai. I miss you and every day that I
don't see you only makes my heart pine for you more with each passing hour.
I'll love you forever. Yours always, JJ." Ryo broke off in shock as he let
the card drop out of his shaking hands and fall to the floor. He fell silent,
staring straight ahead as if in a trance.

Dee's voice broke him out of his
stunned silence. "�.Randy, who is this JJ? Is he or she my lover?" Dee waited patiently for Ryo to
respond.

Finally finding
his voice, Ryo replied, "He's another officer at the 27th precinct.
He's�"

Just then, he
was interrupted by a soft knock on the door followed by Dr. Black returning
from her trauma consultation in the ER. With an apologetic smile at the two
men, she said, "Sorry to interrupt, but your five minutes is up, Randy. I
just have to take Dee
to get a CAT scan so that we can get an update of how he's doing and alter his
treatment accordingly." She handed Dee a consent form to sign to allow
her to do the procedure.

"Oh, that's
no problem," Ryo said, still distracted from JJ's obvious display of
affection and the implied possibility that its true meaning could be
misunderstood in Dee's
condition. With a reluctant sigh, he sat down in the proffered wheelchair from
another nurse who had entered the room. He could always finish his conversation
with Dee later. Right now it was important
that his partner get examined so that the doctors could find out the extent of
the damage his brain had sustained from the accident. "Bye, Dee�� see you sometime later today?"
Ryo ventured hesitantly as the nurse pushing his wheelchair paused just inside
the doorway of Dee's room.

"Yeah,"
Dee said, a warm smile spreading
across his handsome face. "I'd like that. Thanks for coming to visit,
Randy," Dee added, looking so alluring that Ryo could not help but blush
under his intense gaze.

As his emerald
eyes still remained locked on the figure of the retreating blond, Dr. Black
observed the raven-haired patient with a smile. "He really cares for you a
lot, you know," she remarked with a searching look in her eyes, trying to
gauge Dee's reaction to her implied deeper
meaning. "He was so worried about you that he didn't eat or sleep for
days."

"Yeah, I
kinda got that impression," Dee said with a faraway look in his deep green eyes. He had
sensed Ryo's reluctance to talk about his actions concerning the incident from
anything other than a work-related perspective, despite him obviously wanting
to say something more. He was beginning to wonder just how close he was to his
partner. If he didn't have romantic feelings for Ryo before, he certainly could
sense an underlying attraction to the kind-hearted gorgeous blond now. If only
he could remember! However, some things just couldn't be put into words - they
had to be felt from the heart. Dr. Black helped Dee into a wheelchair and pushed him
towards the elevator, the ebony-haired man still lost in thought.

___________________________________________________

The nurse
wheeled Ryo down the hall, and rounding a corner, pushed open the door to his
room before depositing him inside, frowning when she noticed the drawn worried
look upon his usually contemplative face. "Was the visit too much for you?
Are you sure you're okay?" she asked in concern.

"Yeah, I'm
just a little tired," Ryo said, grateful for the hand that she offered to
him. He pulled himself up, bracing his other hand against the wheelchair and
leaned on her for support as they walked over to the bed. She pulled down the
covers and he climbed into the bed, sighing as she pulled the covers over him,
tucking him in. He really was exhausted - more than he had let on. Despite his
worried state of mind, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow,
indicated by the gentle rhythm of his breathing accentuated by the rise and
fall of his chest. He was just too physically exhausted and his body had shut
down his mind momentarily. The nurse smiled and turned out the lamp on the
bedside table, motioning for the other nurse who had just entered with Ryo's
dinner to just leave it next to the bed so that he could eat it when he woke
up.

Ryo awoke two
hours later with a scream, sweat drenching his trembling form. His dark eyes
flew open and he sat up in bed, gasping for breath and sobbing uncontrollably,
still wracked by the nightmares of the repercussions of the accident that
plagued his every waking thought. In the dream, Dee had died in the car accident. Ryo
kept shouting his name repeatedly and clung onto his lifeless body, but all his
efforts to rouse Dee
back to life were to no avail. Even though Ryo knew that in reality Dee was alive, in essence, the Dee he knew had died. He didn't know
how to deal with the ever-present possibility that haunted his thoughts that
things would never be the same. `Why - why did he and Dee have to go through
this? Was it the ultimate test of their relationship even though they had gone
through so much already? Could they triumph over this and remain together?' he
wondered. He was feeling so lonely and alone right now. Before, Dee had always been the one he went to
talk to when he was feeling sad or upset about something. The ebony-haired man
could always offer some comforting words of advice or insight about a problem,
along with some physical reassurance. Ryo's sobs momentarily subsided as he gingerly
placed his fingers upon his lips, thinking about Dee's gentle kisses that were so sweet
and addicting. He missed the comfort of Dee's embrace, the feeling of
completeness that he experienced wrapped within Dee's strong loving arms, and Dee's subtle hints of offered
temptation from his sexy emerald eyes that emanated his physical desire for
Ryo. The man definitely knew how to comfort him however and whenever he needed
it, even if Ryo did not know that he was in need of comfort himself. It was as
if they shared one mind, one always knowing what the other was thinking or
feeling. God, he missed that most about Dee. He missed having the one person
who understood him most in this cruel world - he missed his soulmate.

Hearing a scream
from down the hallway, a nurse had hurried in the direction of Ryo's room. Upon
entering, the erratic beeping of the machine monitoring Ryo's heart offered
further evidence that something was very wrong with the patient. Running to the
bedside, she saw the terrified look in Ryo's eyes as he looked up at her,
silently, pleadingly, hopelessly desperate for some kind of reassurance or
comfort as tears streamed down his face. Her heart went out to the gorgeous man
who was apparently being consumed by overwhelming heart-wrenching pain and she
held his hand and rubbed his back reassuringly. This only made him put his
other hand over his eyes and sob harder as he realized that that was what Dee used to do to him if he ever had a
nightmare in the middle of the night. Then Dee would pull him close until the
steady beating of Dee's
heart would calm him down and he would fall asleep melted against Dee's chest, Dee's muscular arms holding him close
as if he would never let him go.

"Randy,"
the nurse said firmly. As Ryo's sobs subsided and he unveiled his eyes to focus
on who had spoken his name, she spoke again. "Randy, you have to listen to
me. These constant nightmares are not healthy for your personal recovery. You
are not helping yourself heal by continuously thinking about what could have
happened. There is no way either of you could have avoided that accident, so
don't blame yourself for things that are out of your control. What Dee did was his choice and his choice
alone. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

As the truth of
her words sunk into his semi-conscious mind, Ryo nodded slowly and looked up at
her. "Thanks," he said gratefully. "I-I'll try to think of it
that way," he added, managing a brave smile as she still looked at him in
concern.

"Maybe if
you talked to someone about how you feel instead of keeping it all bottled up
inside you might be able to cope with the situation better. You do not have to
deal with this alone. Others are here to help you, Randy. All you have to do is
ask," she said, glad to see that the patient had finally calmed down
somewhat.

"Thanks -
I'll keep that in mind," Ryo said, practically collapsing against the
pillows in his physically and emotionally awakened state, his food from earlier
today still on his bedside table, untouched.

"For right
now though, it's important that you get some rest. Would you like me to give
you a sedative that will help you sleep?" she asked, indicating the bottle
that she had brought with her.

"Yes
please," Ryo consented. At this point, he was willing to try anything to
help stop the constant nightmares. Seeing Dee today had helped alleviate his
guilt temporarily, but in the end it only reminded him of what he couldn't
have. He was lonely without Dee by his side and he wondered if he could
continue to be so strong on the surface when he was around Dee and then resort
to collapsing from sheer physical exhaustion nightly. He wondered how long he
could keep up this pattern of concealing his despair.

As the nurse
poured Ryo a glass of water to take the medication with, she said,
"Goodnight, Randy. This should allow you to sleep soundly for the whole
night. Push the red button by the side of your bed if you need anything,"
she added as she walked out the door, giving Ryo a reassuring smile.

"Thank
you," Ryo called after her weakly, lying back against the pillows and
closing his weary eyes. Within minutes, his breathing had become steady and he
was involved in a deep, peaceful, much-needed dreamless sleep. It was his first
real night of sleep since the accident, and his first night of sleep without
being held in Dee's arms.

________________________________________________________________

In the
room around the corner and down the hall, Dee had just finished the slice of
pizza that he had managed to entice one of the nurses to bring him from the
hospital employee lounge so that he would not have to eat the unappetizing
hospital food that lay untouched on his bedside table. The stunningly handsome
raven-haired man had managed to attain quite a fan club amongst the staff of
nurses, and when he offered an unassuming smile, they acquiesced to his every
whim. However, he did not make unreasonable demands. He just liked to have
someone to talk to and occasionally flirt with. It helped take his mind off of
the unbearable emptiness he felt inside of not knowing who he was. As he popped
in the movie they had rented him in the VCR, his mind wandered to the visit
from the other patient that he had had earlier today. Randy McLean. His
partner. Even now, in his amnesiatic state, he felt a strong compelling
attraction to the shy blond. He could sense that they had a deep connection. He
really wanted to visit with him again and talk to him more. Dee glanced at the
clock on the wall. Didn't Randy say that he was going to come back and visit
him after Dee had returned from his CAT scan? It was 8:45 pm, and he knew that
"lights out" time for the patients was in fifteen minutes. The nurses
overlooked it as long as the patients were in their own rooms, but the strict
hospital policy at the police hospital warranted that everyone was accounted
for in their own rooms by nine. Oh, well. He would probably see the other man
tomorrow, after his meeting with a neurospecialist to discuss the results of
the day's tests. He turned off the movie that he had been staring at
absentmindedly and lay back with his hands behind his head, staring at the
ceiling. With the announcement that came over the loudspeaker that it was now
9:00, Dee reluctantly turned out his light and lay back against the pillow. With
a sigh, he accepted the truth that it was obvious that his partner wasn't
coming to see him. He didn't realize just how disappointed he was until a
single stray tear trickled down his cheek. He had never felt so utterly alone.

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Don\'t Know What You\'ve Got \'Till It\'s Gone