Never a Dull Moment

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not Howls Moving Castle, nor even a book deal of my own.
Miyazaki did the movie, DW Jones the book. This story is a fan production, yada yada
yada.
A/N: I would like to apologize to my fans (I am so flatter to have you) for the long
hiatus. I started this fic while I was deeply in love with my boyfriend of 3 years.
Needless to say, dreams end and it’s taken a while to get on my feet enough to write
about love again. Besides that, college and personal illness have factored into my
writing schedule. I am back however, with vengeance! Reviews make me happy inside, send
the love, I need it.
Lecherously, Manga Mazoku


Chapter 4: In which Sophie sees the true Wizard Jenkins


Sophie stared at Howl and tried to decide what the proper response for a young
lady caught in such a situation would be. Nothing the women in the hat shop had ever
discussed on such matters concerning men and women had involved bathtubs. At least…none
they would speak of in front of Sophie. In her eavesdropping on their conversations,
she had learned a number of useful things she could put to use in her everyday life.
Even a few strategies for dealing with young men had come up once or twice between
Fanny and her friends while Sophie was present. None of them could ever be applied with
any success to Wizard Howl.

‘A person as un-natural as Howl can never be measured by the normal standards
of society’ Sophie thought with a frown. Outside her musings however, time had not
stopped, and Howl had taken her flustered reaction at their current situation as
opportunity to begin unbuttoning and peeling off the sopping wet shirt that even then
still clung scandalously to his skin.

“Howl…what are you doing!?” Sophie gasped, snapping out of her reverie. Howl
grinned and undid the last pearl button exposing a lightly defined torso and slick skin
flushed pink from the hot water.

“Snakes don’t just slither Sophie, they also shed their skins.” Howl laughed,
but Sophie turned a shade whiter under her blush. Howl rolled his eyes and guessed the
meaning of this reaction, “I’m not really going to shed my skin! Really, you’re giving
me powers now that I don’t even have you Mad Hatter. By skin I meant clothes.”

The young housekeeper raised herself up in the water so that she was no long
under the wizard, but facing him. “Well, what am I suppose to think sometimes with you!
Normal people may shed clothes, but you, you have oozed green slime, I wouldn’t put it
past you to shed skin!”

“Or gnaw hearts, suck souls, change lovely ladies into spiders…” Howl ticked
off the statements on his fingers with a grin, enjoying fully how angry and embarrassed
he was making Sophie. He also used her distraction to shrug off the wet shirt and let
it slide carefully out of the tub and onto the tile floor.

“You beast! You started those rumors, not me.” Sophie scolded, “I just heard
them from the other ladies in the hat shop. Great Horrible Howl, gnawing on hearts and
sucking souls, for all I knew of you it could have been true.” Catching the smug look
on Howl’s face Sophie added, “Though now I believe you would be too vain as to sully
your creamy skin and stain your flamboyant clothes by gnawing on a young girl’s heart.”

“Now now Miss Manners, do you picture me using a knife and fork in my heart
eating?” Howl gave and exaggerated shrug followed by a wicked smile. “I prefer to gnaw
on young ladies necks if you must know. And I see a very luscious specimen in front of
me right now I’d like to take a bite out of.”

Sophie gapped at the play on words, blushed, and tried to think of anything to
say to such a statement. Yet the man in front of her was naked to the waist, his
perfect skin slick with hot water, and looking at her with a predatory gaze. With the
black strands of his hair wild and dripping about his face, and his clear blue eyes
fixed on hers, Sophie felt the first twinges of fear and heard her pulse pounding in
her ears.

‘When we argue like this I forget that Howl is a man.’ Sophie Hatter’s mind
raced as Howl took the opportunity to embrace her again, wrapping his arms tightly
around her shoulders and bringing her face up to meet his. ‘What do I do?’ Howl kissed
her passionately on the lips, trying to coax her mouth open to meet his kiss like they
had earlier. But he could feel the young woman go stiff in his arms and her lips pursed
against his own insistent tongue. He released her and leaned back again to look her in
the eyes.

Sophie retreated as far back at she could against her side of the tub, wide
eyed and confused while her face seemed to take on a permanent hue of scarlet. Howl had
expected anger from her, it was Sophie and that seemed unavoidable when he was
concerned, but what was plainly written on her face now was fear. ‘Howl you snake, she
is just a young girl.’ Howl frowned. In giving his heart back to him, he could have
accused Sophie of adding a conscience along with it. It made his heart hurt to see
Sophie looking at him like that. Reaching out, he held her small hand in his, rough and
calloused from scrubbing pots and floors, wrinkled from bathwater, no longer old age.

“I’ve been a beast.” Howl murmured, kissing her hand gently. Sophie’s face
softened and the fear retreated from her eyes.

“You’re always a beast Howl.” she smiled, that was the closest Howl had ever
come to an apology, and she appreciated the effort.

“I didn’t want to frighten you. You act older than you actually are, I forgot
that. Enjoy your bath,” He swung one foot over the side of the tub, bent quickly to
retrieve his shirt from where it was lay in a wet pile and was about to open the door
and leave when he felt Sophie’s arms wrap around his middle and begin pulling him
backwards on the tile.

“It’s okay Howl, I’m just a silly girl who spent too much time in a hat shop
making tacky hats. All I know about men comes from what I heard there, and trust me,
that was not much.” Howl turned and looked down to see her sweet face, silver hair
plastered to her head and huge brown eyes, looking up at him.

“I must hear what your learned from Fanny and her flock of pigeons sometime. I
would be very interested to know what they spent all that time squawking about.” Howl
turned in her arms and returned the embrace, “What shall I do with you Miss Nose. Will
you have me leave you to bathe in peace, or stay?” the hope of the latter still evident
in his voice.

Sophie mulled her decision over. All that had happened this day was making her
head hurt. She was still slightly unsure of what Howl expected of her, nor did she
completely understand his intentions for invading her bath; asking Howl to explain
would be terribly bold, rather embarrassing, and slightly rude.

“What are your intentions for invading my bath in the first place you dirty old
man?” Howl chuckled at the question yet had the good graces to look embarrassed.

“Did nobody ever explain to you what men and women do together?” Sophie
flushed again and ran her fingertips nervously over his shoulders in a circular motion.

“I have a general idea of what type of things go on…you want to do that then?”
She made it a question, but she could guess the answer already.

Howl looked into Sophie’s dark brown eyes and felt slightly ashamed that he was
putting such a young girl in such an adult situation. Holding Sophie’s warm, wet form
to him in a loving gesture roused less pure notions in his mind now that she seemed to
be open to continuing their bathroom scandal. Still, he had to make sure Sophie knew
what she was agreeing to before he proceeded in this debauchery any farther. To not do
so would earn him harsher words than ‘cradle robber’, and a rapist, Howl Jenkins was
not.

“I would love to make love to you Sophie, if that’s what you want too.” he
said, the water already drying on his bare skin from the cool air of the bathroom.

“How do I know you‘re not going to slither out on me after I agree to …do this…
with you Howl?” Sophie pushed away and sat on the edge of the tub, arms crossed firmly
across her front in an attempt to remain ladylike. Howl‘s face fell, running a hand
through his black tresses he sigh audible,

“Sophie Hatter, how many times must I tell you I love you and not run away
before you’ll believe that I have every intention of making sure I spend the rest of my
miserable life two steps ahead of your nagging?” Sophie stared at the wizard and
smiled.

“Well, maybe you could take off some things you’re wearing for me then. If you
do, I‘ll be certain you love me.” she had trouble hiding the smirk that was just
begging to break loose at the sight of Howl’s face in response to her question.

“Now you have me at a loss. What would you have me take off then?”

“All your beauty spells. Hair, skin, everything. Michael once told me that he
would only believe you were truly in love with a woman when you didn’t use your make-up
spells in front of her. Frankly I find myself agreeing with your apprentice. Heaven
knows he has more sense than you.” Sophie studied the tile before risking a wary glance
up in the direction of Howl’s face. Her heart pounded in her chest, she knew in her
soul that she had to know for sure if Howl loved her, but the seconds before he
answered were far more terrifying to Sophie than the thought of living out the rest of
her days as an old woman had ever been.

“Alright. But I warn you, I’m not much to look at really.” he turned to the
shelf lined with potions and packets of powers, and grabbed a white paper packet that
had Clean written in messy handwriting on it. This he handed to Sophie.

“You do the honors then?” he smiled nervously. Leaving her perch on the edge of
the tub, Sophie opened the packet and carefully sprinkled the powdery contents over
Howl’s head. Shimmering dust rained down around him and the aroma of peonies filled the
bathroom. As the dusty cleaner hit Howl, his hair lightened from it’s midnight black to
a rich brown color, tinged ever so slightly auburn. ‘Not a bad color’ Sophie thought,
and continued to look for further changes but couldn’t find much else aside from his
skin having actual pores. She was pleased to find his eyes were just as lovely as
before, unaltered by any spell or the lack-there-of.

“Howl, you’re beautiful.” raising on her tiptoes she managed to kiss the tip of
his nose.

“Do you believe me when I say ‘I love you’ now.”

“I suspected as much, but I had to be sure. You are still widely known as
Horrible Howl.” Sophie’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears. Maybe this was her happily
ever after, despite being the oldest daughter.

“You really don’t think sometimes Sophie, other times, you think too much.
Shall I take this as a ‘yes’ then?” She smiled and closed the distance between them,
kissed him lightly and nodded in response. Howl kissed one cheek then the other and
smiled at how shy Sophie was behaving all of the sudden.

“Just making sure Ms. Nose, better to be make sure than have you skin me alive
later for stealing not only your heart but also your virtue.” Howl’s eyes gleamed with
joy. Sophie returned his gaze before catching him Off-guard with another more personal
question.

“Before we continue, Howl; how many women have you ‘made love’ to before me?”

“And I described you as mousy when I met you. You really are quite bold.” Howl
captured her mouth before she could utter another word and began backing her across the
small bathroom in the direction of the shower stall. Sophie moaned slightly at the
intensity of the kiss, his more skilled tongue claiming her mouth as his and quite
effectively stopping any further questions she may have had. His hands roamed down her
waist, daring to ever so gently caress her rear before returning up her sides again.
All the while Howl backed the stumbling Sophie closer and closer to the tiled wall of
the shower.

“Don’t you change the subject you slitherer-out--” Sophie protested when he
finally broke their kiss for a gasp of air. Howl cut her off again mid sentence with
another passionate kiss. He ran his tongue lightly over her lips before kissing her
more firmly while his right hand ventured to caress the swell of her breast through the
soaked garment.

Sophie’s mind jumped to scold the wizard for his lecherous actions, but a
pair of skilled hands had now wrapped themselves in her hair and began massaging her
scalp in the most delicious way, causing shivers to run down her back and raise goose
bumps on her arms. These she wrapped around Howl and pulled his body close to hers as
they finished their stumbling trek across the floor and ended it with a firm thud
against the tile mosaic of the shower wall. Breaking their passionate kiss, Howl began
nibbling his way down her chin and moved on to her neck, sucking and biting at the
joint of her neck and shoulder in such a way that made Sophie gasp and then moan in the
back of her throat.

“You taste delicious Miss Hatter. I may just take up the habit of gnawing
hearts after all, or maybe just yours.” He nipped at her collarbone and removed a hand
from its nest in her hair long enough to tug gently at the cooling wet fabric that was
the top of her dress, asking her permission with the gesture. Sophie nodded and bit her
lower lip while Howl licked a cool line down her neck and slipped the loosened top of
her dress over her shoulders, freeing her smallish breasts to the cool air and his
hungry mouth.

“You wouldn’t dare gnaw my heart, I own yours now as I recall and wouldn’t
hesitate to return the favor… believe me,” but the threat was lost in more gasps when
Howl began sucking and biting her left breast before moving back and kissing her neck
again while his skilled hand kneaded and caressed her bare breasts.

She could feel his smile pressed against her wet skin, “I know you would,” was
all he purred before sliding her dress the rest of the way off her body and kicking it
aside to rest with his shirt as witness to the new use they had discovered for the
shower.


A/N: So concludes chapter 4 of a 6 chapter outline. I will try hard to not let as much
time pass between 4 and 5 as it did between 3 and 4. As always, thanks for the reviews,
and honestly, the good reviews and honest comments are what spurred me into trying to
finish this piece.