Illusions of Life
folder
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
6,864
Reviews:
35
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
12
Views:
6,864
Reviews:
35
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Do You Love Me Now?
Disclaimer: Gravitation does not belong to me and I make no money from it.
EiriXShu
NC17 but not until chapter 10 (sorry.)
If you have time, please review.
Illusions of Life
Chapter 4
Do You Love Me Now?
If I saw you now,
Could I look in you eyes?
Do you think of me,
Like I dream of you?
You’ve loved me before
Do you love me now?
Does love ever end
When two hearts are torn away?
Or does it go on
And beat strong anyway?
You’ve loved me before
Do you love me now?
Come back to me right now!
Come on, come on, come back to me right now!
About a week later Mizuki called me to remind about the book tour. It wasn’t a bad one; I would only be gone for five days this time. I really hate book tours, but as a writer it is an evil requirement.
I hadn’t seen my neighbor since the now infamous mail delivery mix up, but for some silly reason I felt it was necessary to tell him I would be gone. Well, maybe the truth was that I just couldn’t seem to get him out of my head.
At about 1:30 on the afternoon before I left, I finally bolstered enough courage to walk across the hall and knock on his door. I could hear the music thumping through the door and although it was not unreasonably loud, I had to knock again. Louder.
The door flew open, “What?!?” He was sweaty again, dressed in running shorts and a sweat soaked t-shirt. His hair was absolutely wild.
Involuntarily I licked my lips, “Practicing the touch of death, are you?”
He quirked a small, knowing smile at me, “Something like that. What do you want?”
I cleared my throat, “I’ll be on a book tour starting tomorrow, and I was wondering if you might…” he was glaring at me, “um, might pick up my mail for me.”
“You want ME to do YOU a favor?” he challenged. “ME?”
“Er… well,” I couldn’t believe it! The little idiot had me on the defensive, “Never mind. I’ll have Mizuki do it for...”
He had already shut the door.
Well. I looked at my almost healed knuckles. Well. Okay, then.
I went back to my apartment in a haze of disappointment. It was clear that Shuichi was still furious with me. I could understand that. Our parting 18 months prior had been abrupt and rather intense. I had hurt him physically, then I had left him without a word. For me, I couldn’t stand the chance of a repeat performance, of hurting him again. So instead, I hurt him emotionally by dumping him and leaving. I wanted him to hate me and see me for the monster I really was.
I was suddenly very afraid that I had succeeded.
After all was said and done, the truth of the matter was Shuichi didn’t owe me shit. I had hurt him, body and soul, broken his heart and then run away. In my attempt to “protect” him, I had destroyed the lovable, innocent Shuichi and replaced him with a Yuki Eiri knock-off. It made sense that he didn’t want my in his life. Perfect sense.
Wasn’t that what I had wanted? Then why did his rejection feel so… wrong.
I flopped on my couch lit a cigarette and thought about a beer but I didn’t move. I sat smoking and sulking on my lonely couch and licking my wounds.
I was on my third cigarette when I heard the quiet knock at my door. “It’s open,” I shouted, not really caring who it might be. The door opened, I stubbed out my smoke and looked over my shoulder.
It was Shuichi.
He had on a pair of jeans and a baby blue button down shirt that was completely unbuttoned. He had a towel around his shoulders; his hair was still wet from a recent shower. I felt myself react to him in something much more than neighborly fashion.
“Shuichi,” I said. What a genius.
His violet eyes met mine, “Sorry about before. I was being an ass. I’ll get your mail for you while you are gone.”
“Ah. Thank you.” I answered, somehow immensely relieved by this turn of events. “Would you like some tea or something?” Oh yeah, a smooth genius, that’s me.
“Actually,” he smiled weakly, “I was wondering if you would have tea with me? The kettle is already on. You don’t have to, I just thought…”
“Yeah,” I nodded trying not to be too needy, “okay. I’ll come over.”
He nodded in response, then grabbed the towel and lifted it to his head, rubbing the terrycloth over his still damp hair. His hair-drying caused his shirt to spring completely open, revealing his smooth well-defined torso and the small gold band that pierced his right nipple. Suddenly, my pants felt too tight.
He turned to lead the way to his apartment, tipping his head over his shoulder to give me that knowing look once again, “Are you coming?”
He knew what he was doing to me. He had read my reactions. The reactions no one else on the planet could read. He knew he still turned me one and was using it on me. Fucking little tease.
I sighed, following him and thinking about how revenge comes in all different forms.
While Shuichi busied himself in the kitchen, I wandered around his apartment. What I found surprised me. For the most part it was neat and tidy, some clutter with his CD’s and synthesizer but the rest of the place was almost spartan. Very minimalist. A bookshelf held some manga, mostly horror with one of my books wedged in amongst them. Fitting I thought, considering what I’d put him though. There were a couple of original pieces of artwork on the walls and a framed picture of Bad Luck from the early days but other than that… it resembled my apartment.
How odd.
After my inspection, I flopped on the couch and reached for my cigarettes, noting that there was already an ashtray on the table by me. Hmmm? For guests, I guess. Hiro, K, my brother and … I ground my teeth.
Shuichi disappeared with his towel into a back room just as a cream colored, gold-eyed cat jumped up next to me on the sofa. The cat and I regarded one another for a moment before Shuichi reentered the room and headed for the kitchen again. Seeing the cat, Shuichi slowed his walk and said, “Watch out for him. He bites.”
Fleetingly, I wondered which of us on the couch he was speaking to.
The cat sat down next to me and glared. I glared back. I heard Shuichi’s chuckle as he brought in the tea and some wonderful looking strawberry pastries.
I took the cup of tea offered to me and tipped my head in the cat’s direction, “So, does he/she have a name?”
“Oh, well, that’s kind of a funny story,” Shuichi was smiling a real smile as he glanced at the cat. “His name is Yuki.”
“Really?” I asked, not very amused.
Sitting down in a chair across from me the singer nodded, “Yeah. He showed up right after you left. I found him at the park where you and I first met. He was all wet and all alone and so little, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave him.” He sipped his tea, still smiling fondly at the cat. “I coerced Hiro, Ryuichi, K and Suguru to help me catch him. It took us three hours. When I finally caught him, the first thing he did was bite me. When I got him home and all he would do was glare at me with those gold eyes and hiss at me. He reminded me of you.”
I found myself with a small smile. It was kind of funny.
Shuichi set his cup down and stared at me, “Why did you leave?”
I set mine down also and met his stare. Maybe it was time to tell him. I had to, it was killing me. “Because I hurt you.”
“Because of that stupid fight we had?”
“Stupid fight?” I scoffed, “I put you in the hospital, you idiot. I hurt you. And because I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t do it again.”
He fiddled with the cup and looked hard at me, “So. You did care?”
I remained silent, but nodded almost imperceptibly.
He laughed then, the creepy one again, “you really are a first class fuck, do you know that?”
“Yes,” I nodded, “I work very hard to be that way.”
He stood and stared at me, licking his lips, “Do you still want me?”
I swallowed hard. “Trap,” my brain screamed at me, “this is a trap.”
He walked over to me and slid his legs over mine so he straddled my hips. His face was inches from my own, “I said do you still want me?”
“Shuichi,” I whispered, barely able to get that out, “don’t…”
He ground his hips against me and smiled, “I can feel that you do want me.”
I could feel him, too. So hard. Fuck. I kissed him lightly, running my tongue over his lips and tasting him with trepidation. I stopped, “I shouldn’t do this, Shuichi.”
He licked my earlobe and whispered, “Why not? You want to. You want me, don’t you?”
I shivered from his touch. I did want him, more than anything else in the world. I knew I was making a mistake, I knew the tables were turned, I knew that if I did this, gave in to my lust, Shuichi would hold all the power. He would use me and then toss me away. I knew it. That’s what I would do had our situations been reversed. Even so, I couldn’t stop myself.
I gave in, gave up to him. “Shuichi,” I whispered back, sliding my hands under his still opened shirt, “for a year and half now you are all I’ve dreamed about…”
Suddenly, he pushed away from me, confusion on his features, “What?”
Hmm, maybe the truth was my ally this time. I pulled him close again and nuzzled his neck briefly before meeting his not-quite-glare, “You heard me.”
He untangled himself from me and sat next to me on the couch. Oops, looks like I had made him mad again. “What are you saying?”
I reached for him and he swatted my hand, “NO!!”
I dropped my hand and watched him struggle with his emotions while my lust waned. It appeared that he still needed a few years of practice to become a truly cold-hearted bastard. After all, it doesn’t happen over night. It had taken me many years to become the king of mean.
He stood and paced the floor. The cat moved closer to me and we watched patiently as Shuichi moved back and forth over the hardwood.
Finally he came to a stop in front of us, “are you trying to tell me that you haven’t been with anyone else since me?” He laughed and shook his head in disbelief, “you? The master of one night stands and tawdry, meaningless trysts? The one person who I know can’t go 24 hours without sex?”
I reached for my cigarettes, feeling some control slide back into my side of the court. “Are you deaf or something? For 18 months you are …”
I stopped at the sound of pounding on Shuichi’s door, “Shuichi? I know you are in there!!” A woman’s voice? “I brought stuff to make for dinner!! Open up, honey, it’s your fiancé!!”
My head whipped around for confirmation from Shuichi. He was grimacing and staring at the door in horror. Suddenly he whirled and looked at me, narrowing his eyes and smiling that weird, unnerving smile again. “She’s an insane fan that lives in another world,” he whispered. “She stalks me. She has convinced herself that we are getting married.” He shuddered as he walked to the door. He pointed at me and said, “You owe me, Yuki,” before he wrenched the door open.
“Shuichi, my love!” a beautiful girl with black hair cascading down her back threw herself at my neighbor. He grabbed her with practiced ease and held her away from himself. Apparently, being a J-pop star cultivated certain skills.
I lit a cigarette and watched the scene along with the cat. I noticed the cat had started a low growl. I wanted to join him. This wasn’t the first time Shuichi had had a stalker fan. I’d had one or two myself. They can be more than a little bit scary.
“What are you doing here?” Shuichi demanded pushing her away with force as she tried to kiss him. “500 yards, you crazy bitch. You are supposed to stay at least 500 yards away from me, remember?”
“Oh, I know you don’t want that,” she purred as she tried to get close to Shuichi again. Yeah, she was crazy all right.
Then she spied me and spit, “WHO IS THAT?”
“You know who that is,” Shuichi sang looking at me, “that’s Yuki Eiri.”
She glared at me hands on her hips, “What are you doing here? Have you come to break my Shu-chan’s heart again?”
Shuichi rolled his eyes. I smirked. The cat hissed.
“No, you psycho,” Shuichi snarled at her. He stood behind her back, staring into my eyes, “He’s come to make up with me, haven’t you, Eiri?”
That was my cue. I crushed out my cigarette, stood and walked to Shuichi, wrapping my arms around him from behind, keeping eye contact with the nut case standing next to him. “Yes, that’s true. I’ve come to tell him that I haven’t stopped thinking about him for one moment over the last year and a half.”
It became more difficult to talk with the sensation of Shuichi in my arms, but the seriousness of the situation helped me to concentrate. “I’ve come reclaim what’s mine, and to make sure no one else touches him.” I stared the psycho down as I slid one hand into Shuichi’s long, soft hair, pushing it away from his neck so I could nibble on the smooth skin there.
He moaned. It was almost imperceptible, but it was enough to undo me. I turned his lithe body in my arms so he faced me, staring into his beautiful eyes, temporarily forgetting about the lunatic girl in the room with us. “Shuichi,” I breathed, leaning in to kiss him, pulling his body close and feeling the wonderful heat between us.
After a startled pause, he kissed me back, our tongues suddenly met and clashed and then darted away again. Someone was moaning again, but this time, I think it was me.
The girl cleared her throat, “Hello! I’m still here!”
I lifted my eyes and met her stare, still holding Shuichi, “Yes, you are.” I let my voice drop to the deep threatening sound I’d cultivated so well when it came to crazy fans and I stared the ‘death’ stare at her, “Maybe you didn’t know before but you do now. Shuichi is my boy. Mine. Get the fuck out, right now.”
“You...you’re bluffing,” she stuttered, but her eyes were filled with... not fear as I expected. Hatred?
I glared some more, “Am I?” Hmm, maybe I was losing my touch. Or maybe she was one of the really dangerous ones.
She scampered for the door when I took a step closer to her. I locked it behind her.
Shuichi was swaying in a daze, his eyes unfocused. I wasn’t much steadier as I leaned against the door frame. After a few moments he shook his head and looked at me, “umm, thanks for the help. You know, to get rid of her.”
“I wasn’t saying all that only to get rid of her.”
He nodded, but not ready to talk about it.
I reached for him but he pulled away. Instead, I dug into my pocket and handed him a key. “Here. I’ll be back Saturday.”
He nodded again, “Yeah. Yeah.” Confusion still clouded his amethyst eyes.
The cat was at my feet and rubbed against my leg, I patted him on the head. I leaned forward and kissed Shuichi lightly on his swollen lips, “I’ll see you soon.”
I left and did not stop moving again until I was standing in my shower, fully clothed, ice cold water cascading over me.
TBC
Lyrics by The Breeders
EiriXShu
NC17 but not until chapter 10 (sorry.)
If you have time, please review.
Illusions of Life
Chapter 4
Do You Love Me Now?
If I saw you now,
Could I look in you eyes?
Do you think of me,
Like I dream of you?
You’ve loved me before
Do you love me now?
Does love ever end
When two hearts are torn away?
Or does it go on
And beat strong anyway?
You’ve loved me before
Do you love me now?
Come back to me right now!
Come on, come on, come back to me right now!
About a week later Mizuki called me to remind about the book tour. It wasn’t a bad one; I would only be gone for five days this time. I really hate book tours, but as a writer it is an evil requirement.
I hadn’t seen my neighbor since the now infamous mail delivery mix up, but for some silly reason I felt it was necessary to tell him I would be gone. Well, maybe the truth was that I just couldn’t seem to get him out of my head.
At about 1:30 on the afternoon before I left, I finally bolstered enough courage to walk across the hall and knock on his door. I could hear the music thumping through the door and although it was not unreasonably loud, I had to knock again. Louder.
The door flew open, “What?!?” He was sweaty again, dressed in running shorts and a sweat soaked t-shirt. His hair was absolutely wild.
Involuntarily I licked my lips, “Practicing the touch of death, are you?”
He quirked a small, knowing smile at me, “Something like that. What do you want?”
I cleared my throat, “I’ll be on a book tour starting tomorrow, and I was wondering if you might…” he was glaring at me, “um, might pick up my mail for me.”
“You want ME to do YOU a favor?” he challenged. “ME?”
“Er… well,” I couldn’t believe it! The little idiot had me on the defensive, “Never mind. I’ll have Mizuki do it for...”
He had already shut the door.
Well. I looked at my almost healed knuckles. Well. Okay, then.
I went back to my apartment in a haze of disappointment. It was clear that Shuichi was still furious with me. I could understand that. Our parting 18 months prior had been abrupt and rather intense. I had hurt him physically, then I had left him without a word. For me, I couldn’t stand the chance of a repeat performance, of hurting him again. So instead, I hurt him emotionally by dumping him and leaving. I wanted him to hate me and see me for the monster I really was.
I was suddenly very afraid that I had succeeded.
After all was said and done, the truth of the matter was Shuichi didn’t owe me shit. I had hurt him, body and soul, broken his heart and then run away. In my attempt to “protect” him, I had destroyed the lovable, innocent Shuichi and replaced him with a Yuki Eiri knock-off. It made sense that he didn’t want my in his life. Perfect sense.
Wasn’t that what I had wanted? Then why did his rejection feel so… wrong.
I flopped on my couch lit a cigarette and thought about a beer but I didn’t move. I sat smoking and sulking on my lonely couch and licking my wounds.
I was on my third cigarette when I heard the quiet knock at my door. “It’s open,” I shouted, not really caring who it might be. The door opened, I stubbed out my smoke and looked over my shoulder.
It was Shuichi.
He had on a pair of jeans and a baby blue button down shirt that was completely unbuttoned. He had a towel around his shoulders; his hair was still wet from a recent shower. I felt myself react to him in something much more than neighborly fashion.
“Shuichi,” I said. What a genius.
His violet eyes met mine, “Sorry about before. I was being an ass. I’ll get your mail for you while you are gone.”
“Ah. Thank you.” I answered, somehow immensely relieved by this turn of events. “Would you like some tea or something?” Oh yeah, a smooth genius, that’s me.
“Actually,” he smiled weakly, “I was wondering if you would have tea with me? The kettle is already on. You don’t have to, I just thought…”
“Yeah,” I nodded trying not to be too needy, “okay. I’ll come over.”
He nodded in response, then grabbed the towel and lifted it to his head, rubbing the terrycloth over his still damp hair. His hair-drying caused his shirt to spring completely open, revealing his smooth well-defined torso and the small gold band that pierced his right nipple. Suddenly, my pants felt too tight.
He turned to lead the way to his apartment, tipping his head over his shoulder to give me that knowing look once again, “Are you coming?”
He knew what he was doing to me. He had read my reactions. The reactions no one else on the planet could read. He knew he still turned me one and was using it on me. Fucking little tease.
I sighed, following him and thinking about how revenge comes in all different forms.
While Shuichi busied himself in the kitchen, I wandered around his apartment. What I found surprised me. For the most part it was neat and tidy, some clutter with his CD’s and synthesizer but the rest of the place was almost spartan. Very minimalist. A bookshelf held some manga, mostly horror with one of my books wedged in amongst them. Fitting I thought, considering what I’d put him though. There were a couple of original pieces of artwork on the walls and a framed picture of Bad Luck from the early days but other than that… it resembled my apartment.
How odd.
After my inspection, I flopped on the couch and reached for my cigarettes, noting that there was already an ashtray on the table by me. Hmmm? For guests, I guess. Hiro, K, my brother and … I ground my teeth.
Shuichi disappeared with his towel into a back room just as a cream colored, gold-eyed cat jumped up next to me on the sofa. The cat and I regarded one another for a moment before Shuichi reentered the room and headed for the kitchen again. Seeing the cat, Shuichi slowed his walk and said, “Watch out for him. He bites.”
Fleetingly, I wondered which of us on the couch he was speaking to.
The cat sat down next to me and glared. I glared back. I heard Shuichi’s chuckle as he brought in the tea and some wonderful looking strawberry pastries.
I took the cup of tea offered to me and tipped my head in the cat’s direction, “So, does he/she have a name?”
“Oh, well, that’s kind of a funny story,” Shuichi was smiling a real smile as he glanced at the cat. “His name is Yuki.”
“Really?” I asked, not very amused.
Sitting down in a chair across from me the singer nodded, “Yeah. He showed up right after you left. I found him at the park where you and I first met. He was all wet and all alone and so little, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave him.” He sipped his tea, still smiling fondly at the cat. “I coerced Hiro, Ryuichi, K and Suguru to help me catch him. It took us three hours. When I finally caught him, the first thing he did was bite me. When I got him home and all he would do was glare at me with those gold eyes and hiss at me. He reminded me of you.”
I found myself with a small smile. It was kind of funny.
Shuichi set his cup down and stared at me, “Why did you leave?”
I set mine down also and met his stare. Maybe it was time to tell him. I had to, it was killing me. “Because I hurt you.”
“Because of that stupid fight we had?”
“Stupid fight?” I scoffed, “I put you in the hospital, you idiot. I hurt you. And because I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t do it again.”
He fiddled with the cup and looked hard at me, “So. You did care?”
I remained silent, but nodded almost imperceptibly.
He laughed then, the creepy one again, “you really are a first class fuck, do you know that?”
“Yes,” I nodded, “I work very hard to be that way.”
He stood and stared at me, licking his lips, “Do you still want me?”
I swallowed hard. “Trap,” my brain screamed at me, “this is a trap.”
He walked over to me and slid his legs over mine so he straddled my hips. His face was inches from my own, “I said do you still want me?”
“Shuichi,” I whispered, barely able to get that out, “don’t…”
He ground his hips against me and smiled, “I can feel that you do want me.”
I could feel him, too. So hard. Fuck. I kissed him lightly, running my tongue over his lips and tasting him with trepidation. I stopped, “I shouldn’t do this, Shuichi.”
He licked my earlobe and whispered, “Why not? You want to. You want me, don’t you?”
I shivered from his touch. I did want him, more than anything else in the world. I knew I was making a mistake, I knew the tables were turned, I knew that if I did this, gave in to my lust, Shuichi would hold all the power. He would use me and then toss me away. I knew it. That’s what I would do had our situations been reversed. Even so, I couldn’t stop myself.
I gave in, gave up to him. “Shuichi,” I whispered back, sliding my hands under his still opened shirt, “for a year and half now you are all I’ve dreamed about…”
Suddenly, he pushed away from me, confusion on his features, “What?”
Hmm, maybe the truth was my ally this time. I pulled him close again and nuzzled his neck briefly before meeting his not-quite-glare, “You heard me.”
He untangled himself from me and sat next to me on the couch. Oops, looks like I had made him mad again. “What are you saying?”
I reached for him and he swatted my hand, “NO!!”
I dropped my hand and watched him struggle with his emotions while my lust waned. It appeared that he still needed a few years of practice to become a truly cold-hearted bastard. After all, it doesn’t happen over night. It had taken me many years to become the king of mean.
He stood and paced the floor. The cat moved closer to me and we watched patiently as Shuichi moved back and forth over the hardwood.
Finally he came to a stop in front of us, “are you trying to tell me that you haven’t been with anyone else since me?” He laughed and shook his head in disbelief, “you? The master of one night stands and tawdry, meaningless trysts? The one person who I know can’t go 24 hours without sex?”
I reached for my cigarettes, feeling some control slide back into my side of the court. “Are you deaf or something? For 18 months you are …”
I stopped at the sound of pounding on Shuichi’s door, “Shuichi? I know you are in there!!” A woman’s voice? “I brought stuff to make for dinner!! Open up, honey, it’s your fiancé!!”
My head whipped around for confirmation from Shuichi. He was grimacing and staring at the door in horror. Suddenly he whirled and looked at me, narrowing his eyes and smiling that weird, unnerving smile again. “She’s an insane fan that lives in another world,” he whispered. “She stalks me. She has convinced herself that we are getting married.” He shuddered as he walked to the door. He pointed at me and said, “You owe me, Yuki,” before he wrenched the door open.
“Shuichi, my love!” a beautiful girl with black hair cascading down her back threw herself at my neighbor. He grabbed her with practiced ease and held her away from himself. Apparently, being a J-pop star cultivated certain skills.
I lit a cigarette and watched the scene along with the cat. I noticed the cat had started a low growl. I wanted to join him. This wasn’t the first time Shuichi had had a stalker fan. I’d had one or two myself. They can be more than a little bit scary.
“What are you doing here?” Shuichi demanded pushing her away with force as she tried to kiss him. “500 yards, you crazy bitch. You are supposed to stay at least 500 yards away from me, remember?”
“Oh, I know you don’t want that,” she purred as she tried to get close to Shuichi again. Yeah, she was crazy all right.
Then she spied me and spit, “WHO IS THAT?”
“You know who that is,” Shuichi sang looking at me, “that’s Yuki Eiri.”
She glared at me hands on her hips, “What are you doing here? Have you come to break my Shu-chan’s heart again?”
Shuichi rolled his eyes. I smirked. The cat hissed.
“No, you psycho,” Shuichi snarled at her. He stood behind her back, staring into my eyes, “He’s come to make up with me, haven’t you, Eiri?”
That was my cue. I crushed out my cigarette, stood and walked to Shuichi, wrapping my arms around him from behind, keeping eye contact with the nut case standing next to him. “Yes, that’s true. I’ve come to tell him that I haven’t stopped thinking about him for one moment over the last year and a half.”
It became more difficult to talk with the sensation of Shuichi in my arms, but the seriousness of the situation helped me to concentrate. “I’ve come reclaim what’s mine, and to make sure no one else touches him.” I stared the psycho down as I slid one hand into Shuichi’s long, soft hair, pushing it away from his neck so I could nibble on the smooth skin there.
He moaned. It was almost imperceptible, but it was enough to undo me. I turned his lithe body in my arms so he faced me, staring into his beautiful eyes, temporarily forgetting about the lunatic girl in the room with us. “Shuichi,” I breathed, leaning in to kiss him, pulling his body close and feeling the wonderful heat between us.
After a startled pause, he kissed me back, our tongues suddenly met and clashed and then darted away again. Someone was moaning again, but this time, I think it was me.
The girl cleared her throat, “Hello! I’m still here!”
I lifted my eyes and met her stare, still holding Shuichi, “Yes, you are.” I let my voice drop to the deep threatening sound I’d cultivated so well when it came to crazy fans and I stared the ‘death’ stare at her, “Maybe you didn’t know before but you do now. Shuichi is my boy. Mine. Get the fuck out, right now.”
“You...you’re bluffing,” she stuttered, but her eyes were filled with... not fear as I expected. Hatred?
I glared some more, “Am I?” Hmm, maybe I was losing my touch. Or maybe she was one of the really dangerous ones.
She scampered for the door when I took a step closer to her. I locked it behind her.
Shuichi was swaying in a daze, his eyes unfocused. I wasn’t much steadier as I leaned against the door frame. After a few moments he shook his head and looked at me, “umm, thanks for the help. You know, to get rid of her.”
“I wasn’t saying all that only to get rid of her.”
He nodded, but not ready to talk about it.
I reached for him but he pulled away. Instead, I dug into my pocket and handed him a key. “Here. I’ll be back Saturday.”
He nodded again, “Yeah. Yeah.” Confusion still clouded his amethyst eyes.
The cat was at my feet and rubbed against my leg, I patted him on the head. I leaned forward and kissed Shuichi lightly on his swollen lips, “I’ll see you soon.”
I left and did not stop moving again until I was standing in my shower, fully clothed, ice cold water cascading over me.
TBC
Lyrics by The Breeders