The Price I Pay Yuki/Shuuichi
folder
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
4,192
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Gravitation › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
4,192
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Gravitation, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Four
A/N: I made myself sad writing this chapter—but I enjoy feeling sad if caused by a work of literature or my imagination.
Random info: I try to write each chapter to have near a thousand words to it, but I can’t seem to do it real close to that number.
Chapter four:
“Shin…Shindou-san! You’re awake!?” Seguchi stepped back in surprise, missing the meaning of the singer’s words due to the suddenness of them.
“Shuu…i…chi…?” Yuki knelt down by the side of the bed, tears staining his pale cheeks, heart-rate rapid. Indecisively he brought his hands to the pink-haired singer’s face, caught between wanting to show his feelings for his lover and the edginess caused by showing emotion openly. And, unlike Seguchi, he took in the meaning of Shuuichi’s words, along with the suddenness.
“Yuki, I….” Shuuichi fell silent when the novelist brought him into an embrace, holding him closer than he ever held the singer. Anger ebbed away completely, the singer wrapped his arms around the writer, his own eyes filling with tears; tears of sorrow and gladness. Gladness for the comfort received from the novelist, and sorrow for what it took to extract the closeness.
“Shindou? Eiri?” Seguchi’s eyes grew soft and curious, wondering when Yuki was going to tell, until he realized what Shuuichi had said. “Shindou, were you awake the entire time? You heard…?”
“I awoke seconds before you showed up, Seguchi. And I heard everything.” Shuuichi gently kissed Yuki on the forehead, and hugged him tighter; leaning closer to the writer when compelled by those light-brown, questioning eyes.
“Shuu-chan.” Yuki whispered in his ear, his voice trembling. “We have to break up.”
“NO! Yuki, I’m not leaving you. I don’t care ‘bout the test results, I’m not letting you break up with me!”
“Shuuichi, I refuse to put you at any more risk if the tests show you don’t have the virus.” The writer looked into the singer’s eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself.
“Yuki, I don’t—”
“I don’t want to hear it, Shuu-chan, even if we stay together, if you don’t have the virus, I’m never touching you intimately again. I won’t risk it.”
“Yu…Yu-ki,” Shuuichi stared at the face of his downcast lover, his heart breaking at the stubborn righteousness of the writer, but a sudden realization made him determined not to accept it. “Yuki, you can’t abandon me. Not when I’m sick like this.”
“Shuu….”
“Did the doctor say I had some type of pneumonia?”
“Wha? How did you….?” Yuki stared at the singer in surprise, not knowing the significance of the random question.
“I thought so.” The singer sighed, and looked around the room once before turning back to a puzzled Yuki. “My…a relative of mine had HIV, and he got sick with pneumonia when he developed full-blown AIDS.” He paused, bringing his knees up to his chest and holding onto them as he struggled with the meaning of his own words. “Me getting sick like this means…means….”
“Shuu…ichi. No…NO!” Yuki pulled Shuuichi into a strong, slightly rough, embrace, holding him tightly to his chest. “Don’t give up, it doesn’t mean anything just because you’re sick like this. It could just be a fluke, you getting pneumonia; it doesn’t mean…you don’t even know if you have HIV yet. You don’t know what you’re….”
“I know more about HIV than you do!” Shuuichi pushed the writer away, feeling his body trembling. “I spent the first twelve years of my life growing up with someone who had it, and I was there to watch it progress to AIDS. Fuck it, I was there when it finally killed him. So don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Don’t fuckin dare….” Here Shuuichi burst into tears—tears of anguish, grief, fear, his body growing numb as he shook visibly from his emotion.
“Shuuichi, I….”
“I watched my older brother die from AIDS, so don’t fuckin tell me I don’t know anything about it.” His sobs grew more anguished as he turned back toward the novelist. “Please, please don’t abandon me, Yuki. Please. I don’t care if we never have sex again, just please be there to hold me.”
The writer drew the singer once again into an embrace, pulling him to his chest silently, the only sound audible in the room being Shuuichi’s crying.
A/N: This chapter didn’t end exactly as I thought it would, but it’s good—I can’t seem to not end my chapters with cliffhangers, I think it’s because I actually enjoy them. Makes me want to read more. Same as how I’m addicted to writing and reading sad stories—I almost never read or write happy ones.
Anyway, while writing this chapter I thought about who gave who the virus—most would assume Yuki gave it to Shuuichi, but if you read and watched the manga and anime thoroughly, you’d recall how Taki had Shuuichi raped. When I remembered that piece of info, I couldn’t ignore it—so I want your opinions about it.
Oh, I invented Shuuichi’s older brother thing on a whim because I needed to figure some way for him to know of the virus, and to have lived closely with someone who had had it.
As always, please review.
Random info: I try to write each chapter to have near a thousand words to it, but I can’t seem to do it real close to that number.
Chapter four:
“Shin…Shindou-san! You’re awake!?” Seguchi stepped back in surprise, missing the meaning of the singer’s words due to the suddenness of them.
“Shuu…i…chi…?” Yuki knelt down by the side of the bed, tears staining his pale cheeks, heart-rate rapid. Indecisively he brought his hands to the pink-haired singer’s face, caught between wanting to show his feelings for his lover and the edginess caused by showing emotion openly. And, unlike Seguchi, he took in the meaning of Shuuichi’s words, along with the suddenness.
“Yuki, I….” Shuuichi fell silent when the novelist brought him into an embrace, holding him closer than he ever held the singer. Anger ebbed away completely, the singer wrapped his arms around the writer, his own eyes filling with tears; tears of sorrow and gladness. Gladness for the comfort received from the novelist, and sorrow for what it took to extract the closeness.
“Shindou? Eiri?” Seguchi’s eyes grew soft and curious, wondering when Yuki was going to tell, until he realized what Shuuichi had said. “Shindou, were you awake the entire time? You heard…?”
“I awoke seconds before you showed up, Seguchi. And I heard everything.” Shuuichi gently kissed Yuki on the forehead, and hugged him tighter; leaning closer to the writer when compelled by those light-brown, questioning eyes.
“Shuu-chan.” Yuki whispered in his ear, his voice trembling. “We have to break up.”
“NO! Yuki, I’m not leaving you. I don’t care ‘bout the test results, I’m not letting you break up with me!”
“Shuuichi, I refuse to put you at any more risk if the tests show you don’t have the virus.” The writer looked into the singer’s eyes, taking a deep breath to steady himself.
“Yuki, I don’t—”
“I don’t want to hear it, Shuu-chan, even if we stay together, if you don’t have the virus, I’m never touching you intimately again. I won’t risk it.”
“Yu…Yu-ki,” Shuuichi stared at the face of his downcast lover, his heart breaking at the stubborn righteousness of the writer, but a sudden realization made him determined not to accept it. “Yuki, you can’t abandon me. Not when I’m sick like this.”
“Shuu….”
“Did the doctor say I had some type of pneumonia?”
“Wha? How did you….?” Yuki stared at the singer in surprise, not knowing the significance of the random question.
“I thought so.” The singer sighed, and looked around the room once before turning back to a puzzled Yuki. “My…a relative of mine had HIV, and he got sick with pneumonia when he developed full-blown AIDS.” He paused, bringing his knees up to his chest and holding onto them as he struggled with the meaning of his own words. “Me getting sick like this means…means….”
“Shuu…ichi. No…NO!” Yuki pulled Shuuichi into a strong, slightly rough, embrace, holding him tightly to his chest. “Don’t give up, it doesn’t mean anything just because you’re sick like this. It could just be a fluke, you getting pneumonia; it doesn’t mean…you don’t even know if you have HIV yet. You don’t know what you’re….”
“I know more about HIV than you do!” Shuuichi pushed the writer away, feeling his body trembling. “I spent the first twelve years of my life growing up with someone who had it, and I was there to watch it progress to AIDS. Fuck it, I was there when it finally killed him. So don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Don’t fuckin dare….” Here Shuuichi burst into tears—tears of anguish, grief, fear, his body growing numb as he shook visibly from his emotion.
“Shuuichi, I….”
“I watched my older brother die from AIDS, so don’t fuckin tell me I don’t know anything about it.” His sobs grew more anguished as he turned back toward the novelist. “Please, please don’t abandon me, Yuki. Please. I don’t care if we never have sex again, just please be there to hold me.”
The writer drew the singer once again into an embrace, pulling him to his chest silently, the only sound audible in the room being Shuuichi’s crying.
A/N: This chapter didn’t end exactly as I thought it would, but it’s good—I can’t seem to not end my chapters with cliffhangers, I think it’s because I actually enjoy them. Makes me want to read more. Same as how I’m addicted to writing and reading sad stories—I almost never read or write happy ones.
Anyway, while writing this chapter I thought about who gave who the virus—most would assume Yuki gave it to Shuuichi, but if you read and watched the manga and anime thoroughly, you’d recall how Taki had Shuuichi raped. When I remembered that piece of info, I couldn’t ignore it—so I want your opinions about it.
Oh, I invented Shuuichi’s older brother thing on a whim because I needed to figure some way for him to know of the virus, and to have lived closely with someone who had had it.
As always, please review.