Naked Friend Friday

Chapter 4: Tatsuha


Less than an hour later…


Ring, ring…ring, ring…ring, ring… "This is Kuma n Ryu! Leave us a message! SPARKLE!"

“Damn!” Redial.

Ring, ring…ring, ring…ring, ring…"This is Kuma n Ryu! Leave us a message! SPARKLE!"

“Shit!” Redial.

Ring, ring…ring, ring…ring, ring… "This is Kuma n Ryu! Leave us a message! SPARKLE!"

Sigh. “Well alrighty then…”

*** ***

The front doors of the NG building opened and in from the golden sunlight of late morning, walked a tall, lean young man dressed all in black.

Uesugi. Tatsuha Uesugi.

After leaving school, Tatsuha made a quick pit stop at home to stock up on “supplies” in the event that K made good on his threat to leave trouble waiting for him should he grace NG with his presence.

As it turned out, stopping for provisions was a good thing since trouble met him at the door.

“Ah, Uesugi-san,” said Aoki, head of building security at NG. “K-san told us that you might be dropping by.” He moved to head the boy off. “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in today.” He and four back up guards blocked Tatsuha’s path in NG Security Manual Threat Prevention Formation Number One—The Triangle Blockage Maneuver aka The Dragon’s Head.

Tatsuha smiled a wide smile that reached all the way to his designer sunshade hidden eyes.

Standard bowling pin configuration, Tatsuha thought. These guys were by the book and nothing else. Good thing for me. Bad thing for them…

“Hello Aoki-san,” Tatsuha replied calmly, smoothing out a crease in his near floor length trench coat. “I’m aware of the fact that I’m not supposed to be here today, but I just need to see someone quickly and I’ll be out of your way before you know it.”

It was always good to try the reasonable approach first.

Aoki wasn’t having it though. He shook his head with a sigh. “Sakuma-san is with Ichimoto-san right now and if you saw him, you’d be in violation of your restraining order. K-san told us all about it and left clear instructions not to let you in or help you violate your court orders. Really, Uesugi-san, we’re trying to help you.”

Tatsuha’s smile upgraded to a grin.

“Then help me get to Ryu and I’ll be out of your hair.”

“No can do Tatsuha,” Aoki said, calling the boy by his given name and resorting to NG Security Manual Threat Prevention Negotiation Tactic Number Four—Building Trust Through Friendship aka The Used Car Dealer. He wasn’t sure what was about to go down, but seeing the way Tatsuha was dressed and seeing the way Tatsuha was acting and seeing what Tatsuha resorted to when it came to Sakuma-san, he had a terrible feeling that he and his crew might be in for a little overtime action that day.

He had no idea.

“Just turn around and come back on Monday. Or better yet, call Sakuma-san and arrange a meeting outside.”

Tatsuha nodded, his smile never leaving. “I already tried that. He’s not answering his phone.”

Aoki shrugged helplessly. “Then it looks like you’re screwed.”

Tatsuha sighed a sigh of retreat. “It certainly SEEMS that way, doesn’t it? Alrighty, then.” He turned as if he was about to leave and put his back to the group.

“Have it your way...”

SWOOSH…

Big black boots.

SWOOSH…

Tight black jeans, wide black belt, thick silver buckle.

SWOOSH…

Left and right thigh strap holsters.

SWOOSH…

Black pullover with a third holster strapped crosswise over his chest.

SWOOSH…

Sunshade hidden eyes below thick, unruly Bishounen hair.

Sunshade hidden eyes above a sexy, crooked, Big Daddy smile.

SWOOSH…

In ultra slow motion:

Tatsuha swooshed off his trench…

Made for his thigh holsters…

And whipped back around…

Dismayed gasps sounded off in stereo around him as the security group suddenly found themselves faced with double-fisted Super Soaker Triple Shot Blaster water gun action.

Before the guards could get themselves together, Tatsuha flicked both weapons’ mode switches to “regular” and squeezed off five short, controlled bursts of high velocity H20 equalizing—three from the left gun and two from the right.

Woooosh… swoooosh… roooosh…swaaassh…AHHH!

Five spinning, watery bullets balleted and pirouetted through space in tight arcs, leaving misty vapor trails slicing through the air behind them. Four of the five shots hit their mark—dead center eyeball of the men blocking his path! They went down howling.

With his hair standing on horrified end, Aoki suddenly found himself standing in the midst of a crumbled line of defense and Neo—err…Tatsuha aiming straight for his pupils!

Frantically, he slapped the panic button on his walkie-talkie to call for backup--and not a second too soon. He turned his head just in time to miss a glob of wet ammo gunning for his corneas. The stream bolted so close to his left ear, he could hear it gurgle as it went by.

Not waiting for a second shot at being picked off, Aoki ducked, tucked and rolled out of the line of fire, then scrambled behind the centrally placed reception desk for cover. Seeing herself being placed in the middle of the THIN WET LINE, the alarmed receptionist shifted straight into “dumb blonde in a horror movie” mode and jumped up out of her seat, letting loose with a high pitched scream of terror. Tatsuha put her out of her misery--quickly.

Unfortunately for her, Big Daddy didn’t discriminate. He was equal opportunity in all ways a body could be—including dispatchment services.

Seeing the receptionist fall by his feet, then desperately scramble for her box of tissues while muttering a string of curses that would make a sailor blush, Aoki realized the gravity of the situation. Tatsuha was serious--he was taking out innocent civilians without so much as batting an eye! He got on the talkie post haste.

“Code 9, I repeat Code 9—RED ALERT, SHIELDS UP!” He backed up flat against the reception desk and waited for the cavalry.

Finished dispensing tap water justice at the reception desk, Tatsuha turned and headed toward the bank of elevators at far end of the lobby. He stepped over and past the soaked victims still squirming at his feet without a second thought. All around him building visitors and employees fell over themselves to get out of his way, including one poor sot who thought if he just remained still and played opossum, the deranged Super Soaker Menace might pass him by and leave him unscathed.

Tatsuha went past him without a glance. Then at the last second, he picked him off with a backwards shot, just as the unlucky bastard opened his mouth to breathe a sigh of relief.

“But I just had this suit cleaned!” he wailed. Tatsuha spun around and took him down with a fast crouching shot. The man hit the floor blowing bubbles from his nose.

Tatsuha straightened with a chuckle. Then he heard it. The sound of dozens of feet echoing in staccato quickness against the marble lobby floors.

They were coming—coming for him.

Suddenly from around the corner to Tatsuha’s right, two dozen black suited security agents came running. Then from his left another two dozen appeared. Seeing his path to the elevators blocked by crisp white shirted and black tied NG thugs, Tatsuha didn’t have time to react. He found himself abruptly cut off in all directions as the security agents formed a tight, three-man deep ring around him—NG Security Threat Prevention Containment Maneuver Number Five aka The Noose.

“Give it up Uesugi,” called Aoki. Now that reinforcements had arrived, he was out of his hidey-hole from behind the reception desk. He strode boldly into the center of the thug force and faced Tatsuha.

“You’re surrounded,” he said, trying one last attempt at reason. “You can’t possibly win. Give up now and I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t go to jail for too long. You’re a minor and you’re using non-lethal weapons, so with the help of my testimony, a good lawyer and any positive karma you might’ve put away for a rainy day, you shouldn’t live the life of inmate butt candy for any more than two or three months at the most.”

Tatsuha stood still, gripping his dual weapons and keeping them close. He flicked his gaze around him. Through the dark shades that masked his expression, his eyes darted quickly this way and that looking for a missed opening or a weak link in the chain they’d formed. He didn’t see a single one. All he saw were the dozens of anonymous water gun fodder faces, which were reflected in the black lenses of his glasses.

“Give it up, Uesugi,” Aoki said again.

Tatsuha looked to the left. No way out.

“Put down the Super Soakers and back away slowly.”

Tatsuha looked to the right. No way out.

“We don’t want to hurt you, Uesugi-san, but we will.” Aoki nodded at the men.

All four-dozen NG mugs pulled out what looked like guns from side holsters and aimed them at The Bride—err…Tatsuha. The sound of 48 safeties being clicked off filled the air in sharp, metallic unison. The Crazy 48!

What the damn? Tatsuha eyed the “guns.” Honest to God policemen in Tokyo barely carried .38’s. Whatever the fuck it was he was looking at in the hands of dozens of men aimed right dead center at him was much bigger than any .38 and had a barrel that was at least two times the size of a normal gun.

Tatsuha stood his ground.

“I’m going to give you until the count of three to put your weapons down and give up,” Aoki said.

Tatsuha stared at one of the guns trained on him. A small LED light on the side of it caught his attention when it flicked from RED to YELLOW. Quickly rolling through the rest of the guns near him that he could see the sides of, he saw it happen over and over again. RED to YELLOW, RED to YELLOW, RED to YELLOW…

“One…”

Tatsuha looked around again and re-gripped his guns. I’m about to be monk toast! he thought to himself. Then something else caught his eye. The YELLOW light on the nearest gun to him flicked from YELLOW to GREEN. In the hush that had fallen over the lobby, he could hear a small high-pitched whine begin to emanate from the weapon.

Tatsuha raised a brow. The sound reminded him of a camera flash bulb warming up. All around him YELLOW went to GREEN and the sound became louder.

“Two…”

Suddenly Tatsuha realized what he was seeing. If the guns were what he suspected they were, his crack about becoming monk toast wasn’t far off at all. And if they WERE what he thought they were, it just might turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Without moving his head to give himself away, he flicked his eyes up and spied the super mod halogen lamp that hung by its wire over his head.

NG Records, being on the cutting edge of audio and recording technology, followed suit with its interior design themes as well. The building was decorated in a black and chrome ultra modern scheme that had elements of futuristic shapes and textures as well as soft splashes of elegant color. The lights that lit the lobby were no different. Like something out of a high-end Jetsons home that had been furnished by IKEA, sleek, low-hanging halogens with thin, cone shaped metal shades of subtle colors, hung from black cables that were threaded through artistically suspended ceiling panels that were arranged in a checkerboard mosaic of deep beige tiles. The lights lined the lobby ceiling in orderly rows and lent a warm glow to the tastefully furnished space.

The one hanging over Tatsuha was a soft blue.

AND it was well within the 35 foot reach of the Super Soaker Helix he had slung across his back…

Tatsuha quickly looked back at Aoki who was standing in front of him, with his hands on his hips. Concentrating on his lips, Tatsuha waited for the first muscle twitch sign of the next number being formed then…

“TTHHRREEEE!”

Tatsuha was already in motion. The instant he saw Aoki prepare to let loose with the number, he dropped the Triple Shot Blasters to his feet, snatched the Soaker Helix off his back with an over shoulder grab and aimed high for the halogen over his head. The fierce double stream of pressurized water hit its mark easily and within a split second, caused the bulb to short and rupture sending a fiery curtain of sparks and glass down on the circle below. He immediately followed suit with the nearest lamps that hung on either side of his lamp and the lamps that hung over the agents in the circle that faced him.

Everyone immediately threw their arms over their heads for protection. Everyone except for Tatsuha. While the crew around him was busy shielding themselves with their arms AND THEIR GUNS, Tatsuha alone stood in the midst of the sparking, glowing rain shower and took advantage of his opponents’ temporary vulnerability. He grabbed hold of Aoki with an arm around the man’s neck and used him like a human shield, spinning the both of them in place while he took out the entire inner ring of thugs with dual Helix streams of hard hitting water to the pupils.

The entire front line dropped like flies.

The second line of defense, finding themselves involuntarily graduated to the front, aimed their guns again and fired a staggered volley of ejected tasers—small dart-like projectiles that had thin wires attached to the back of them. The idea was that once the dart hit the target, it would embed its sharp tip through the target’s clothing and into the person’s body. Once in contact with flesh, a high jolt of electricity would be delivered to the person via the short, charged wire that was attached to the end of the dart. The electricity would then disrupt the person’s neurological system and send them, twitching and foaming at the mouth down to the ground in an immobilized heap where they could easily be subdued and subsequently have the shit kicked out of them by law enforcement.

Gambling on the hope that a: the darts themselves were also electricity based, and b: that once fired, the guns would need a second to recharge before another shot could be taken, Tatsuha continued to spin himself and Aoki in a fast, tight circle, keeping his finger jammed down on the Helix’s trigger. Aiming slightly higher than the agents’ line of fire, he surrounded himself and his hostage with a wide, dripping wall of water that violently shorted the charged taser tips the instant they made contact with the liquid. All around them, small, bright sparks erupted as each dart exploded into a tiny fireworks display.

POOF, POOF, PUFF, POOF! The sphere of air around Tatsuha and Aoki lit up like a hot summer night full of horny fireflies.

Almost at the end of the Helix’s water supply, Tastuha took the last few remaining drops and turned them on Aoki himself. In the time it took everyone to recharge their gun for a second try, Aoki was soaked from head to toe.

Aoki immediately felt Tatsuha let go of him the instant the agents began to aim again. Seeing the imminent danger he was in, he threw up his hands and screamed for them to stop, but it was too late. Tatsuha moved so quickly that no one realized their mark was no longer standing in front of them and they fired before the fact registered. Standing lonely and on his own, Aoki took the full brunt of the friendly assault, jerking violently with the force of at least a dozen darts striking his body in various places. And because he was soaked, each electrical charge was amplified. Aoki hit the ground next to Tatsuha a smoking, foaming mess.

Tatsuha, who had abandoned Aoki to his doom, dove sideways to the floor where he chucked the Helix and retrieved his Triple Shots. Before Aoki even hit the ground, Tatsuha was already lying on his side taking out the next line John Woo style with double-handed, close range crotch shots.

While the inner ring was busy frying their own team member, men suddenly began to crumble, fold and dissolve at an alarming rate as Tatsuha shaved serious carats off their “family jewels.” By the time Tats was done, all that was left of the second line’s “precious gems” were a few cubic zirconias in fake gold settings that even QVC wouldn’t touch. He continued to take men down with crippling, rapid-fire dick shots; dealing out stinging soprano singing punishment while spinning on his back in a breakdance move that would put Turbo and Ozone to shame.

Seeing the carnage that suddenly lay before them, the third agent line moved back out of the way of their fallen comrades. Fear had begun to march an ant line up their spines, causing them to be uncertain of the situation at hand. Where did they go from there? How did they handle something like this? Never in a million years would they have guessed that one kid, armed solely with liquid whoop ass, could take down two-thirds of their entire force in a humiliating matter of minutes. Their so-called NG Security Threat Prevention Training Manual taught them how to deal with robberies, hostage situations, fires and civil crises, but it had absolutely no guidance whatsoever on how to handle a pissed off Uesugi Man in love. And if that wasn’t enough, none of them even knew if their health insurance covered damage by Super Soaker! The bizarre scenario left the third line unbalanced and unsure.

Their slight hesitation was all Tats needed. Still aiming for the bank of elevators behind them, Tatsuha kicked out, flipped up onto his feet and faced the last line of security.

He took an advancing step.

They backed up.

He took another step.

They backed up again.

Knowing that he was getting low on ammo, Tats took full advantage of their faltering, yellow-bellied stance. In an unexpected change of rhythm, on his next step, Tatsuha broke out into a full on run and barreled his way through the last line, taking out the lamps above the agents in two quick jump shots, then sprayed the floor in front of him as he went.

Security aimed and took fire through the sprinkling of sparks and glass. Unfortunately for them, they all missed as Tatsuha swooped with amazing speed to the floor again and used the slippery wetness he’d laid down and the forward momentum of his break neck dash to propel him forward on his knees. He slid through the spark showered line taking out the nearest agents, left and right, with both eye and crotch shots. Once he broke through their ranks, he flipped over on his back and sprayed the floor behind the agents with the last of his water.

The remaining agents ran for him, but slipped on the slick floor that was not only wet, but also coated with the glass of the lamp bulbs that’d just burst.

They slipped, slid and skid, trying to gain footing, but it was like trying to run on a floor full of marbles. They knocked into and over one another and all went down in a tangled security thug pile.

Still sliding on his back, Tatsuha and his Red Gangbusters glided into an elevator that, with timing only divine intervention could have supplied, opened the second he approached. He slid into the car on his back, past the confused exiting passengers who jumped out of his way. Coming to a stop at the back of the car, Tatsuha took one last glance at the wreckage he’d left in his wake.

Black suited bodies hither and yon were down on the floor, moaning and squirming, grabbing crotches, rubbing eyes, feeling around for guns and groping for lost contacts--it was a pitiful sight.

Tatsuha reached over to press the button of the floor where he knew Ryu was recording. And as the doors snicked shut on the devastation he had caused, Tatsuha smiled an evil smile and gave them all the finger.

*** ***

Ding.

The elevator doors opened and Tatsuha rolled out, with his empty Soakers at the ready. He knew they were empty. The enemy did not. So he thought he’d use that to his advantage and try to gain the element of surprise. His efforts went to waste however. Even seconds later, when the elevator doors chimed to a close behind him, the hallway before him was as empty as it was when he had first launched himself out into it. Not wasting the opportunity, Tatsuha stood, ditched the Soakers and hit the ground running.

The “studio floor” as it was called, was lined on both sides of the entire hall with doors that led to individual recording booths and sound engineering stations.

While Tatsuha knew which floor Ryu was on, he didn’t know which studio his man love was recording in. Since Ryu hadn’t bothered answering his phone when he’d called him out on the sidewalk, Tatsuha was still as clueless as to where he could find his Squeeze, as he was when he walked through the lobby doors. So he did the only thing he could think of to do.

“BABYCAKES!” he yelled at the top of lungs. He ran down the hall and began throwing open each door he passed.

“RYUICHI???”

He kicked open another door. “WHERE ARE YOU, BABY? YOUR MAN HAS COME FOR YOU!”

On both sides of the hallway, door after door was systematically kicked opened, yelled into and abandoned once it failed to yield the body Tatsuha was seeking. His tactical assault shattered the peace and the quiet. It also scared the mother-loving shit out of each studio’s occupants as they were abruptly accosted by a wild-eyed and desperate Tatsuha.

“STARSHINE, WHERE ARE YOU?”

Door. Kick. Yell. Abandon.

“COME OUT, HONEY BUNNEY, TA-KUN’S HERE!”

Door. Kick. Yell. Abandon.

“RYUICHI SAKUMA, COME TO BIG DADDY!”

Click…click…click…the sound of high heels clicking seductively against the floor echoed down the hallway…

Door. Kick. Yell. Abandon.

“COME TO YOUR MAN, SUGAR CUPS!”

Bouncy curls, porcelain skin and luscious, full lips parted in a small smile…

Door. Kick. Yell. Abandon.

“RYU! BIG DADDY’S LANDED, BABY! COME ON OUT!”

An off the shoulder top revealed cleavage that would make any self respecting Victoria’s Secret model quit and become a librarian…

Door. Kick. Yell. Abandon.

“RYU!! KUMA!! I’M HERE FOR YOU, LOVE CHOPS!”

A white skirt had a thigh split so high, sightings of a Hello Kitty panty line could be spotted at 20 paces…

“BABYCAKES! DO YOU HEAR ME? RYU, IT’S TA----”

Tatsuha ran down the hall with frantic abandon…right past the most bodacious chick he’d ever seen.

A slow mo blink that lasted the space of forever was all the time Tatsuha’s practiced eye needed to take in the curves, the dewey eyes, the wet lip-gloss, the silky thighs, the Hello Kitty and the MELONS…GRACIOUS LORD, THE FRESH PRODUCE!

Tatsuha’s head snapped around so hard, it sounded like buckshot. He missed the next door completely and slammed straight into the wall, springing an anemia-inducing nosebleed the entire way.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, NORIKO UKAI!!!”

Tatsuha hit the wall face first and slid down it with a wet sliding sound as he left a trail of hot mama nosebleed smeared on the paint.

Reaching rock bottom, Tatsuha turned around and scooted as best he could up against the wall. He looked up and beheld the picture of loveliness that had stopped before him. His eyes traveled up the length of the split, said hello to Hello Kitty, kept going up to the navel, thanked the cropped top for being so cropped and continued on toward the sweater puppets that were threatening to put his eyes out. He immediately sprang another nosebleed as his vision embraced Noriko in all of her healthy C-cup glory.

“GAWDS GIRL, YOU’RE LOOKING HAWT TODAY, WOOT!” Tatsuha gushed from around his free flowing nose. Desperately he tried to make his eyes focus on her face, but they just wouldn’t go.

“GIRL, YOU GOT ASS FOR DAYS! I SAW IT ALLLL THE WAY DOWN THE HALL!” He slapped the floor in bloody appreciation. “I KNOW YOU DRIVE AN AMERICAN CAR, HONEY, CUZ THERE AIN’T A CAR HONDA MAKES THAT CAN HANDLE RUMP ROAST LIKE THAT!!! DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT, WOOOOT!!!”

Down the hall, the elevator doors opened and a fleet of Tokyo’s finest filed out.

“I MEAN, DAMN!” Tatsuha continued, oblivious to the fact that the game was indeed up.

The Honest to God Tokyo police surrounded Tatsuha where he sat and pulled out their Honest to God .38’s. Each of which was trained right dead center on him.

Tatsuha’s eyes remained trained on Noriko.

“BABY, YOU GOTS THE SUV OF ALL ASSDOM AND IF ASSES WERE CADILLACS, YOU’D BE DRIVING AN ESCALADE! AND THE SWEATER! I KNOW THAT’S CUSTOM TAILORED, DARLIN’, CUZ RALPH LAUREN DON’T MAKE *SHIT* THAT CAN HANDLE BREASTICLES LIKE THOSE!!!”

The cops stood around a hyperventilating Tatsuha who, so far as they could tell, hadn’t even seen them! The cop in charge remembered the hysterical call NG Security had put through to the emergency line. This KID was the unstoppable armed hit squad that had taken down the entire NG Security Team single handedly?

“YOUR CUPS RUNNETH OVER, BABY! THEY RUNNETH RIGHT THE FUCK OVER!”

The cop in charge sighed and lowered his gun. The rest of the squad followed suit. Sighing again, he moved Noriko gently to the side then reached down and cuffed Tatsuha who offered absolutely no resistance.

“YOUR KNOCKERS ARE KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKING ON HEAVEN’S DOOR AND DAMN I WANT TO BE THE DOORMAN!”

The cop stood Tatsuha on his feet, tiredly rambled off the legal spiel he was required to give all offenders no matter how stupid they were, then motioned to the rest of his crew that their riot gear wasn’t necessary. They all put away their batons and raised their helmet shields in disbelief as a single cop led Tatsuha away with almost no effort.

“CALL ME, NORIKO!” Tatsuha screamed as he and the cops piled back into the elevator. “I SUCK TOES, BABY! I SUCK TOES!!” The door started to close.

“I WANT TO BE YOUR SLEDGEHAMMER!!” Tatsuha yelled through the closing doors.

Behind him, one of the cops took his baton out again and raised it above Tatsuha’s head.

Then they were gone.

Suddenly, the very next studio door beside Noriko opened and Ryu popped out with Kuma on his head.

“Ta-kun?” he said, looking around confused. Seeing Noriko instead, he brightened immediately.

“NORI!” He glomped his friend and band mate violently. “What’re you doing here? Have you seen Ta-kun? I thought I heard him out here yelling for me.”

Noriko tried in vain to pry herself from Ryu. She looked back at the elevators. “Is that what you call that thing? Ta-kun?” She shook her head laughing.

“Well,” she said, finally extracting herself from her friend’s grip, “I got the strangest phone call last night. K-san asked me to come by and check on you guys today and to make sure everyone was here, especially Suguru.”

She frowned at Ryu. “He also asked me to wear the sexiest, most man debilitating outfit I had in my closet.” She puzzled over it. “I wonder why?”

Ryu shrugged, then pulled her arm toward the studio.

“Suguru isn’t here yet, but don’t tell K because he will take a three hour tour of his ass. Come in, come in and meet my new friend Kaz and listen to the song that Shu and Hiro and Suguru are doing with me, it’s great!”

Noriko blinked in confusion. “Three hour tour of Suguru’s ass? What? Nevermind,” she said succumbing to her friend’s overpowering enthusiasm. She followed hyper chibi Ryu into the studio and closed the door without a second thought about the commotion that had filled the hall just moments before. The closing door rattled the occupancy sign posted just to the right of the entrance. The occupancy sign stated who was booked for that particular studio and during what hours they would occupy it. It clearly read Bad Luck Rehearsal.

Interestingly enough, all the doors on the studio floor had one.

Down on the street, Tokyo’s finest placed a mysteriously unconscious Tatsuha into the back of the lead squad car that was parked in front of the building.

“What took you guys so long getting here?” Aoki asked as he stood by watching Tatsuha’s limp form being loaded into the car and his injured men being loaded into a nearby ambulance. “Is there a donut convention in town? We were completely decimated by the time you guys decided to show up!”

“There was a huge commotion downtown today and there’s still pocky and g-strings all over the place, so we had to take a detour,” the lead cop replied. “Then we got lost. Street signs are few and far between down here, you know, so we got here as fast as we could.” He took in the pissy state of Aoki’s expression and shot it down with a subtly placed hand on his Honest to God .38.

“Well, did you at least shoot him?” Aoki asked hopefully. He was desperate for some kind of ass-kicking restitution. Though he’d fully regained consciousness, he was still a serious mess. His hair was standing on shocked end and the top of his head was still smoking a bit, but other than that and the occasional involuntary spasm that wracked his body, he was well on his way to recovery. Even so, he really hoped they’d shot Tatsuha…at least twice.

“No,” said the lead cop in charge. “He’s uhh…” He looked around at another cop who was just putting away his riot baton.

“He’s tuckered out from all the action,” the riot cop said with a cheery smile.

“Poor thing, he’ll probably sleep for hours.”

Aoki nodded with understanding and saluted the riot cop with gratitude. While a clubbing wasn’t nearly as good as a bullet, the wrecked lobby, the ambulance full of his injured men and the new vacancy for front desk receptionist all told him that beggars couldn’t be choosey.

End of Chapter 4: Tatsuha


A/N:

Turbo and Ozone refers to the movie “Breakin,” a piece of 80’s cinematic mastery.

The guns Tats uses during his Matrix style lobby assault are real and they both deliver high velocity H20 equalizing. The Super Soaker Helix and the Super Soaker Triple Shot Blasters are made by Hasbro.

The guns the security agents use are also real. They are taser stun guns and many model variations are made by different manufacturers. Will taser darts explode if subjected to a volley of water? I dunno. Next time you run afoul of taser gun carrying law enforcement and you’ve got your Super Soaker handy, try it out and email me with the answer when they let you out of jail…or the hospital. Thanks!


Next time on Naked Friend Friday:

You Can Keep Your Hat On…
Miners, shovels and cherry pie…
Yuki predicts the future…
Shuichi’s secret weapon…
The tightest, most scandalously gay leather pants in all of Tokyo…
Hello Kitty rides again…