Kiss

Hello all .


I do not own
FAKE and am
making no money
from this story .


Thanks to the lovely
review I recieved
from Kira ! That
made my day .


Lots of talking here ,
and Angst.

Action coming up in
the next chapter .



Moon



Monday, April 24th , 8:17 am


Drake was shaking his head . " I can't believe you came back so soon , " he said for the third time that morning . " You should have taken the rest of your leave . "

JJ smiled slightly , sharp blue eyes trained on the street ahead of them . " What , and leave you to do stake - out with Ted ? I couldn't do that to you , senpai."

Drake huffed , sipping his starbucks cafe mocha . Stake out was normally his least favorite part of police work . Give him a hair - raising chase down a back alley any day , or crime scene investigation . Ted , likewise , was the worst stake out partner of their unit . You were guaranteed a blow by blow of his current sex life - or lack thereof - if you were locked in a car with him for any length of time .

Today Drake and JJ were staked out near the 155th street court house . The suspect in their current assault/ murder case , Marcus Deangelo , was due for a meeting with his probation officer at 9 : 00 am . Word on the street was that he'd been tipped off , however , and wouldn't show . Either way , Drake intended to make use of the time .

JJ had been uncharateristically quiet so far this Monday morning . His haggard appearance had improved greatly after a weekend of rest , but he was more subdued than Drake had ever remembered him. I guess watching your father die will do that to you , Drake thought grimlly .

After JJ had called that early Sunday morning from LA , they hadn't talked . This weekend had been more of the same ; JJ had desparately needed sleep , and Drake hadn't bothered him . Today was the perfect opportunity to make up for lost time .

" You haven't told me what the funeral was like ," Drake ventured .

" It was huge , " JJ answered . " Businessmen , politicians , celebrities .The few family members still on speaking terms with my father . I couldn ' t wait to get out of there. "

Drake paused , digesting that blunt statement . " So ... what happens to your mother now ? "

JJ made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat . " Husband number two , I guess , " he shrugged . " Probably someone athletic , and twenty years younger ." He spared a glance at Drake , and it was so bleak it hurt the older man to see it .

" Don't get me wrong ; I love her , really , but that's just the way things are done out there.He gazed back at the traffic moving in tangled rhythms in the early morning rush hour . " She has a team of lawyers to handle the estate, and Laura and her husband to take over dad's business. I wasn't needed , so I came back here . " His voice was flat . " Just like always ."

Drake reached a hand across to rest on JJ ' shoulder . " How come you never told me any of this , JJ ?" he asked , squeezing gently . " About your dad being sick , and not talking to you and all ? How come I had to hear all this from Dee and Ryo?"

In reponse , JJ was silent so long , Drake sighed , and dropped his hand ." Look, Bud , I ' m sorry , it's none of my business ."

" It's not that , JJ interrupted softly . " You know I don't keep secrets from you purposefully , senpai ." His expressive blue eyes were downcast . " It's just ... your family is so normal , and mine
is so soap- opera . I didn't want you to think any less of me ."

Well . That Drake hadn't expected . " Think less of you ? ' Cos your family's mega - rich ,and you and your dad had a falling out ? Hell , JJ , everybody fights , but not everyone has money .When I was a kid , I used to dream of growing up like that ."

" No you didn't , " JJ retorted . " You don't know anything about how I grew up ! "

" So tell me , " Drake coaxed . " I want to know ."

He watched JJ 's inner struggle play out on his face . He looked so torn , as desparate to confide in his partner as he was to salvage his pride . It was nearly impossible for Drake to sit silently
and not offer words of encouragement , but somehow he knew that wasn't what JJ needed right now . He had to be able to make up his own mind , without pressure , or permission .

Drake scanned the front entrance to the court house futily again . His eyes flicked to the car's dashboard clock . He was as torn as JJ , hoping their suspect would arrive so they could make the arrest , and wishing guiltily he'd stay away . If he could get JJ to open up to him , he wanted the time to listen .

" You want to know , Drake ? " JJ said finally ." Want to know what it's like to grow up in a 5,700 square foot house in Southern California ? It's big like that so your parents don't have to see you , let alone each other , for days if they don't want to .My father was always on the phone , or with a client , or one of his mistresses . My mother was a former beauty queen he'd met on a flight from Europe ; Miss Norway 1961 . She was the more at - home parent , when she wasn't at one of her clubs or society events , that is . Her hobby was to make the world a better place for underprivilaged children , along with other rich , absentee
moms . I was raised , essentially , by a nanny , a cook and a maid til I was eleven .Then I was on my own . "

He smiled softly . " And I had Laura , of course ," he added ." She was really the mom I never had ."

" Hell , JJ , " Drake said , his brown eyes reminiscent , " there were nine of us , in a four bedroom cape- cod in Manhattan . I shared a room with my two younger brothers til I was nineteen. I think I changed more diapers than my mom , some days ." JJ laughed quietly at that ." My pop was a beat cop out of the old 15th precinct . He'd work most days twelve , sixteen hour shifts , and moonlighted as a bartender on weekends , just to put us all through Catholic School. My mom was the head nurse at St. Mary's ER . Some days , the only way they saw each other was if dad brought a drunk in with the DT 's. "

He chuckled ." I know what you mean about your sister , though . I think I called my oldest sister Connie " Mom " til I was five ."

JJ 's eyes were shining . " I would have given anything to grow up in a big , close family like that ," he said wistfully .

" The grass is always greener , huh ? " Drake agreed .

JJ nodded ."That's what my therapist always used to say ."

" C ' mon ; you're the happiest guy I know . You went to therapy ? ! "

JJ gave him a look ." Every private school kid in California goes to therapy , Drake , whether they need to or not . It goes with the school uniform , tennis lessons , and the keys to your first mercedes when you turn sixteen ."

Drake grinned and shook his head . " Poor little rich boy ," he chuckled ." And I 'm supposed to feel sorry for you ?"

" Don't forget , I was gay , too , " JJ smiled ." Although that was considered chique back then .Every family had one child that was either gay , anorexic , or in rehab . Laura was the boring one .Straight A 's , student body president , dated the football captain . " His expression darkened ." Too bad I was the one he ended up sleeping with ."

Drake frowned ." How old were you ? "

" Fifteen , " JJ answered quietly , glancing away to watch the street again . Drake winced . " It was my fault ," JJ admitted ." He was tall , dark , gorgeous , and so far in the closet I couldn't wait to drag him out . " He shook his head . " I always did mix up sex and love ."

" He hurt you , didn't he ." Drake said . It was not a question . He thought of JJ 's relentless pursuit of Dee not so long ago . A lot made sense now . JJ never really was looking for sex ,but for love . Drake had the urge to find this rich jock from JJ 's past and kick the shit out of
him right now .

" My protector ," JJ smiled sadly . " Always ready to leap to my defense . " He gazed at the older man . " No wonder I'm so crazy about you ."

Drake blinked and opened his mouth to speak , but JJ cut him off. " Look , Drake about that ; I - I 've been meaning to talk to you . " He met his partner's eyes squarely . " If I've learned anything this past week , it's that it's time to grow up. So , I want to say ; I 'm sorry . I keep throwing myself at you and you keep telling me you're not interested .So , I want you to know , I 'm going to back off . It may not be easy , but I don't want to make the same mistake with you I made with Dee ." He looked away again . " I don't want to ruin our partnership , or lose you as a friend ."

Christ , Drake thought , at a loss for words . The guy's basically telling me he loves me but is willing to let me go so he doesn't piss me off ! Seeing JJ hurt in any way rated right up there with a root canal on Drake's favorite's list . Being the cause of that hurt felt a hundred
times worse .

He thought of the looks the crowd at the airport had given them. The way JJ had felt in his arms . How badly he had missed him when he'd been gone , and how lonely their office had been .

The way JJ ' s tongue had felt in his mouth .

He squeezed JJ ' s shoulder again ." Forget it , Bud , " he said finally . He turned the keys in the car 's ignition . " C 'mon , this bastard's not gonna show . Let's get out of here . All this coffee's made
me have to take a leak ."