Vermllion (pt 2)

Vermillion (pt 2)

Scene 4 – Confession


But I won't let this build up inside of me,
I won't let this build up inside of me,
I won't let this build up inside of me
(I won't let this build up inside of me),
I won't let this build up inside of me
(I won't let this build up inside of me)

A catch in my throat - choke,
torn into pieces I won't,
No, I don't want to be this

Shido pulled out of Ban’s exhausted body, rolled to his back and pulled the sexually sated man into his arms. Holding him gently, Shido stroked back the dark, sweat soaked hair and kissed his forehead.

It never ceased to amaze him how docile and compliant the snake bastard was in bed. Not at all like his usual brash, obnoxious self. He was obedient to Shido’s every wish. Shido liked that. The strong, supple body of Ban Mido was a constant turn on for Shido. The Thursday nights he spent in his bed with the retriever were filled with hard, demanding sex, and Ban never disappointed him. He responded no matter how many times Shido took him, screaming, crying and clinging to the beast master. There was so much fire and passion in Ban, it was unbelievable.

Shido wanted more. One night just wasn’t enough to satisfy his hunger for the snake bastard. If he had been obsessed before, he was completely fixated now. There was just one problem.

Ban Mido belonged to Gingi, and Gingi wasn’t giving him up. Shido was very fortunate that Gingi would give him up for one night a week. Thinking about Gingi made Shido wonder just where he went on the days Shido was with Ban. After the first night, he would quickly leave the apartment when Shido arrived.

“Ban, hey, Ban,” said Shido, shaking the dozing man.

“Huh? What? Again? Alright, I’m ready,” mumbled Ban groggily, starting to move away from the warmth of the beast master.

“No, not yet,” laughed Shido, tightening his hold on Ban, keeping him close. “I just wanted to ask you something. Where does Gingi go while I’m with you? I know he doesn’t stay here.”

“Hummm. He goes to string boy,” replied Ban, sleepily nuzzling the beast master’s neck.

“Gingi is screwing Kazuki?” Shido laughed.

“No, he’s just sleeping at his house,” Ban yawned, moving up so he could kiss the beast master.

“Don’t you believe that, snake bastard. Kazuki has had the major hots for Gingi since the Infinite Fortress days. He’s always wanted to get into Raitei’s pants.” Shido took advantage of the proffered mouth to indulge in a long, leisurely kiss.

That was the end of the conversation as Shido started to stroke the retriever’s body, pulling Ban up on top of himself. Shido was already hard again and Ban sat up, grasping his cock and guiding it to his waiting channel, still wet and loose from their last bit of lovemaking. Shido pulled him firmly down onto himself, sighing in satisfaction as Ban’s soft flesh closed warm and tight over him, seating himself to the hilt.

“Don’t move yet. I just want to look at you like this. You are so beautiful,” said Shido softly, admiration for the slender body in his eyes. “I never thought I’d have you here, like this, so wild, but so willing. You are amazing, snake bastard.”

“You embarrass me, monkey tamer,” replied Ban, a slight blush on his face.

“Ban, seriously, why?” asked Shido.

“Why an I embarrassed? Look at me, sitting here with your cock up my ass, and what you’re saying,” retorted Ban, blushing crimson now.

“No. Why are you so compliant in bed with me? Why were you so easy? Why didn’t you resist me that day? Why did you let me lay a claim on you?” Shido asked, stroking his sides softly, a burning curiosity in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Ban answered. “I guess I didn’t resist that day because of Gingi. I didn’t want him to be hurt. I thought it would be a one time thing, you know, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. But when you laid claim to me, it all happened so fast, you did something to me, it changed something in me. I can’t help myself. When you call me, I have to respond.”

Ban seemed to be troubled by the turn of the conversation and Shido could sense he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It had to be hard on the independent, assertive Ban Mido, to be at the command of the beast master, but still, he allowed Shido to dominate him to a large extent.
Shido pulled him down into his strong arms for another lingering kiss, then rolled the two of them so he was on top of his lover. Slowly and gently, he made love to Ban in a way that he had never done before. For some reason, he felt the need to be tender and loving to his partner.

With a low moan, Ban found himself clinging tightly to the beast master, his soft cries sounding sweetly in Shido’s ears.

“Ban…” Shido whispered as he felt his lover reach his climax. “Ban…”

They lay locked together in their embrace for a long time, Shido continuing to kiss his lover softly. Lover. Yes. Ban was his lover, his love. He liked that thought. Much later, he held Ban close as he slept and just thought about how things were. He needed to talk to Gingi. Things needed to change.

In the morning, instead of leaving immediately when Gingi arrived home, he waited.

“Gingi, I’d like to talk, later, if you have some time,” Shido requested politely.

“About Ban-chan?” asked Gingi, guardedly.

“Yes,” Shido replied.

“We’ll talk, but don’t expect a lot,” Gingi warned.

“We’ll talk,” said Shido, an almost haunted look in his eyes.

“Meet us at the Honky Tonk around 1. We can talk there,” Gingi told him.

“Alright, see you there, then,” replied Shido, taking his leave.

Gingi looked in at Ban and he still slept, a sheet draped over his naked body, a sated, satisfied look on his face. It certainly seemed as if Ban welcomed Shido’s embrace. They had never spoken about what went on between Shido and himself. Gingi just knew that Shido always left Ban exhausted the next day. Ban was always out of it for some time after the excess taken by the demanding beast master.

Well, he’d have to wake Ban soon and try to talk to him, see just how he felt about the current situation. It was difficult for Gingi, but he was enjoying his gentle angel. Kazu-chan was so sweet, soft and loving. Just the mere thought brought a gentle smile to Gingi’s stern face. Kazuki was what stood between Gingi and Raitei. But he couldn’t impose on his angel too much, although he suspected Kazu-chan would welcome him more often.

Gingi shook his head to clear his thoughts. First things first. A shower, then wake Ban.

Ban roused from his deep sleep as he heard the shower running. Gingi would be home, he thought groggily. Home from Kazuki’s. Washing off his indulgence with string boy? What Shido asked came rushing back to him. Gingi and string boy? And Gingi the dominate one? His sweet, docile Gingi? But, after all, it was Kazuki of the Strings, who, if you didn’t know any better, you would swear was a woman. Gingi had been Raitei. Shido said string boy had a thing for Raitei. Maybe Raitei was seeking an outlet and string boy provided it. Stranger things had been known to happen.

‘Hell,’ he thought, reaching for a cigarette. ‘Monkey boy fucks the shit out of me and I cling to him and cry for more. Shit. What have I become? A slut?’

The shower stopped and Ban waited to finish his cigarette before getting up. He didn’t want to see Gingi reeking of Shido’s lust. A cold shower would get his brain back into gear, Ban thought, gathering his clothes from the floor.

He finished his shower, wrapped a towel around his waist then went to the room he shared with Gingi to get clean clothes. He could see Gingi sitting out on the couch, waiting for him. He hurriedly dressed and went out to see the one person he loved above any other. No matter what happened, Gingi would always be first in his heart. Gingi belonged to him.

“Ban-chan,” Gingi smiled, his voice warm. “How are you feeling today? You’re up early. I’m glad.”

“Gingi,” Ban responded, sitting close, putting his arms around his blond god. “I’m good. I… I just wanted to be near you this morning.”

Ban seemed troubled.

“Ban-chan, what’s wrong?” asked Gingi. “You can tell me.”

“Gingi, when… when Shido comes, comes to have me, you go to Kazuki.” Ban hesitated.

“Yes, Ban-chan,” Gingi answered.

“Gingi, do you… do you sleep with Kazuki? Do you make love to him?” asked Ban, his head down, not wanting an answer, but needing it, needing it so badly.
“Ban-chan,” said Gingi softly, reaching to tip his troubled face up. “I won’t lie to you. Yes, I make love to Kazu-chan. He is my angel. But Ban-chan, you… you are my fire, you are my passion, you are who I live for. Kazu-chan comforts me while I know that it is Shido who is in your arms.

“Kazu-chan is the angel that keeps Raitei away. He is the one who helps me keep my sanity. Without my angel, I would go crazy just thinking of Shido touching you. I know you need to go to Shido, it’s something that is between you two, but I don’t have to like it.

“Please, Ban-chan, it’s you that I love, more then anyone else.” Gingi’s earnest brown eyes spoke volumes more that mere words ever could.

Ban’s troubled blue eyes cleared and he threw himself at Gingi, the relief visible in his whole being.

“Oh, Gingi, please forgive me for ever doubting you,” Ban begged.

“There is nothing to forgive. We are just doing what we can to make it in this world. Kazuki, Shido and I learned that in the Infinite Fortress. You learned it from your own teachers. We do what we have to Ban-chan.” As far as Gingi was concerned, that was done with.

Now, on to the next subject.

“Ban-chan, the reason I was glad to see you awake so early is that Shido wants to talk,” said Gingi. “About you.”

Ban paled and shook a little. More and more, the beast master was coming to dominate him, and it scared Ban because he let him.

“What did he say?” asked Ban.

“I told him that we would meet him later today to talk. We’re meeting at 1, at the Honky Tonk,” said Gingi calmly.

“What are you going to say to him?” asked Ban.

“I won’t know until I hear what he has to say. I think he wants more of you. My question to you is, do you want to give him more of yourself?” Gingi paused, waiting.

“I don’t know. Sometimes, I think I’m losing myself in him and that scares me. He’s like a drug in my system. I feel like I’m addicted and I don’t know how to break the addiction. Or if I can break it. Or if I want to break it. He’s just so, so…” Ban’s voice trailed off and the troubled look came back.

“Maybe I should stop this. Maybe I should take back what belongs to me,” said Gingi, with a sudden coldness in his voice. “Maybe I should take back from Shido what he is stealing from me. Maybe I should get back what is mine.”

Ban looked startled. It almost sounded like Raitei speaking. The cold, dispassionate Lightning Lord. The two sat frozen in their separate thoughts for the moment.

Then Gingi reached out to touch Ban again. Ban jumped slightly, then relaxed at the touch, leaning into Gingi. The arms that came up to hold him were firm, yet gentle. They were comforting and strengthening at the same time. Ban looked up and Gingi bent to claim a kiss from his parted lips.

Ban sighed and leaned back, pulling Gingi down on top of himself, enjoying the warmth and weight of his partner.

Gingi cuddled on top of him and Ban could almost swear he could hear him purring. Ban petted and stroked his kittenish partner, just enjoying the comfort of Gingi’s undemanding presence.

‘This must be what Gingi feels when his is with string boy,’ Ban thought.

As peace descended into his soul, he drifted off to sleep, dreaming of a golden angel chasing off the dark, looming beast that threatened to consume him. Then the golden angel was calling out his name, beckoning him to follow, somewhere…

“-chan. Ban-chan, wake up,” said Gingi. “We have to go or we’ll be late to meet Shido. Come on, Ban-chan, wake up.”

Ban smiled as he woke, not to an angel, but to his all too real lover, Gingi. Gingi was so much better then any angel, he decided quietly to himself, as he stretched.

*~*

Shido was waiting in their booth with a cup of coffee when the retrievers sauntered in, giving casual greeting to Paul and Natsumi. Then Gingi escorted Ban to the back, allowing him to slid in first. Shido raised an eyebrow slightly at the seeming shift in the power structure. Ban sat quietly while Gingi signaled Natsumi for two coffees.

“So, Gingi, I guess you know what I want to talk about,” said Shido softly.

“Yes,” was all Gingi replied, not helping Shido at all.
“I’d like to see Ban more often. I’m getting quite fond of him and I’d like to see him outside of the bedroom,” stated Shido. “The sex is fantastic, better then I could have ever dreamed, but I want to get to know Ban Mido, the person, not just Ban, my sex partner. I’d like your permission to take Ban out on dates, maybe twice a month, no sex involved.

“We’d go out, talk, get to know each other and I’d bring him home to you for the night. This is what I would like to do.”

Gingi’s jaw had dropped and Ban could only stare stupidly. A date? Shido wanted permission to date him? And he was asking Gingi as if he was asking a father’s permission to date his daughter. Ban was so stunned, he was beyond words.

“You’d like permission to date Ban-chan?” Gingi finally got out, unfortunately just as Natsumi was delivering the coffee, which she dropped in her shock.

That seemed to break the spell on the stunned Ban.

“Date? You want to date me, monkey tamer?” he asked.

“Yes, Ban. I want to know the real you. I want to know the Ban Mido that broke the power of the Infinite Fortress, the Ban Mido who stole away the Lightning Lord. The strong, independent, self assured man, Ban Mido.

“I know the willing, compliant, docile Ban Mido who cries out my name and clings to me in bed at night and I love that part of you to distraction. No one has ever occupied my mind the way that you do. You are constantly in my thoughts and I know there is so much more to you.

“I want to know all of you, Ban Mido. I don’t want just a willing bed partner. I want a friend. I want you to be my friend.”

Shido suddenly stopped his confession, blushing, wondering if he had said too much, but no, Gingi was smiling. And it was all Gingi. Raitei was no where to be seen.

“Shido, that’s wonderful. You really want to know my Ban-chan better. He’s a great person. He’s a great friend. Ban-chan is the best.” Gingi literally glowed as he turned to Ban. “Ban-chan, would you like to go on a date with Shido? He promises to be a gentleman and treat you respectfully. He would take good care of you and you could get to know the real Shido better. He was always loyal to me and I really missed Shido when I left with you. Would you like to, Ban-chan?”

“A date? Like dinner and a movie, holding hands and sneaking kisses kind of a date?” challenged Ban.

“No. A date, like dinner, walking in the park after and just talking. No hand holding, no kissing,” replied Shido. “Unless you just can’t resist, of course.”

“Alright. I’ll go on a date with you. We’ll talk. Hell, I might even find out that I like you, monkey tamer,” said Ban.

“Gingi, maybe you’d like to ask Kazuki, too. We could make it a double-date for the first time. Just to get the feel of it,” suggested Shido.

“Yeah, that would be fun. When should we go?” asked Gingi, almost jumping in his excitement.

“Why not Sunday,” suggested Shido. “Ask Kazuki. I’m sure he’ll say yes. I’ll meet you guys here, say about 1?”

“Sounds great, Shido. I’m so glad that this was what you wanted, because if you were going to ask me for another night with Ban-chan, I would have had to tell you no,” said Gingi sadly. “I just can’t bear to part with him for any more nights.”

Gingi turned to look fondly at his lover, who blushed at the scrutiny. Gingi leaned over and kissed his cheek, smiling happily.

“Gingi, may I have a kiss from Ban before I go?” Shido requested.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” said Gingi abruptly, ignoring the request, but giving tactic permission.

When Gingi got up Shido moved to sit next to Ban.

“May I?” Shido asked politely.

“Sure. My owner gave his okay, didn’t he?” Ban laughed.

Shido put his arms around the smaller man and kissed him gently but thoroughly, leaving Ban panting just a little, and clutching at the beast master with a small moan.

“I’ll see you on Sunday, lover,” said Shido with a mischievous glint in his eye. “That’s to keep you thinking about me. I… I love you, Ban Mido.”

Then the beast master was gone and Ban lay back against the cushion, contemplating his last words.

“I really think he does, Ban-chan. Shido, he doesn’t say things like that lightly,” said Gingi, sitting back down. “So, shall we go home?”

“Yeah, Gingi. Today’s been enough of a rollercoaster ride for me. I want to go back to bed. I want you to go back to bed with me, I should say. How about it?” Ban asked

Gingi just smiled happily.

*~*

Thanks for reading, hope your visit was a good one.