Return To Me

Chapter Four

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The assassin knew that the trail had gone cold. Tokyo was a big city, but the target was injured and shouldn’t have been able to get too far without someone noticing him. The problem was that the extent of the injury was currently unknown. It could be debilitating to the man or maybe he’d already gotten through the worst of it. From the updates provided by the woman over the phone, it didn’t appear as if Kudoh had accessed any of his known bank accounts nor had he been in contact with Takatori.

Currently, the hired killer was going through the apartment where Kudoh lived. Nothing had been found there to suggest that he’d been back since the explosion. The bed was unmade and his wallet rested on the dresser.

Going through the printouts next to the man’s computer, one news article dated over three years made the assassin pause then crumble the paper before tossing it away. That reminder only reinforced the determination to find Kudoh and finish the assignment.

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Yohji watched as their food was wheeled in on a cart by the waiter who then set a chair on either end of the mobile table. Aya tipped the young man then handed him Yohji’s bag of clothes while requesting they be laundered as soon as possible. He returned to the cart and gestured for Yohji to have a seat across from him.

Not feeling as hungry as he had minutes ago, Yohji sat down and lifted the metal cover from his food. The enticing aroma overcame Yohji’s unease as his stomach growled in hunger. He knew that Aya had heard since the man had a raised eyebrow and a bemused smile on his face.

“Hey, see how well your stomach behaves when you haven’t eaten in two days.” Yohji lifted his bowl of miso soup and before he knew it, he’d finished the entire bowl. He picked up his chopsticks and picked up some shrimp tempura. Not able to help himself, he quickly ate half his meal before stopping to look for something to drink, frowning when he only found tea and water. “I could really use something a bit stronger right now.”

Yohji sipped some water anyway as Aya replied, “It’s not a good idea to drink with the medication you’re on.”

“Why, think I might say something I could be embarrassed by? Too late,” Yohji grumbled as he took another bite of his meal.

Aya looked at him in question. “What are you embarrassed by?”

“Nothing.” If Aya didn’t realize that he was uncomfortable by his last question, he wasn’t going to point it out.

Looking as though he was going to speak again, Aya closed his mouth before returning his attention to his food. The rest of the meal passed in silence, and soon the plates were empty and drinks finished.

Really wishing he could drink something more potent, Yohji got up and went to the mini bar but only retrieved a can of soda. He didn’t want Aya bitching about his health while they had their long overdue discussion.

Yohji settled on the sofa and watched as Aya wheeled the cart away to leave it in the hallway. He stopped for a can of tea at the mini-fridge then sat on the couch opposite from Yohji. After taking a drink and setting the can aside, Aya said, “You wanted to know why I never came back to you. How much do you remember?”

“All of it, I think everything has come back. You really don’t have to answer. There was no reason for you to come back after the way I treated you.” Yohji looked away, unable to meet Aya’s eyes. He felt a sharp pain in his chest when he remembered what they’d had together and he ruined.

“But I did come back for you. Or rather, I tried. I went to the hospital the second I’d found out you’d somehow survived the collapse of the building. I couldn’t believe you’d been pulled out of the wreckage alive.”

“I don’t remember seeing you, even if I didn’t have my memories at the time.” Yohji felt the pain of abandonment then. How he’d felt when he woke alone, terrified because he had no memories at all. The only person who’d spent any time with him for anything not medical related had been Asuka. She’d stop by after her shift to try to cheer him up.

“It was before you regained consciousness. I was by your side for almost two days straight, then foolishly left to go clean up and get some sleep. While I was gone, you awoke and it became apparent that you had no memories of your past. When I returned to the hospital, I was prevented from seeing you. Mamoru felt it was in your best interest to not be contacted by anyone you knew from Kritiker until they decided if the amnesia was temporary or not.” Aya voice was gruff as he rubbed his hands over his face but not before Yohji saw a flash of anger in his eyes.

“Why the hell did he do that? Did he have any fucking clue how it felt to wake up and feel totally abandoned?” Yohji couldn’t prevent the hurt from reflecting in his tone.

“I don’t know what he thought, Yohji. He was there when you tried to kill me, saying you just wanted to forget. Maybe he thought you’d been given that chance and he wasn’t going to let anyone screw it up for you.” Aya’s voice held both weariness and anger as he spoke.

“It wasn’t that I wanted to kill you. I’d never do anything to purposely harm you because I…” He stopped just short of blurting out his love for Aya. “I just wanted someone to listen to me… to hear what I was saying. I don’t know why, but I felt I was losing my mind back then and didn’t know how to stop it. The awful things I’d done were tearing me apart inside. I’d made too many mistakes and bad choices…” Yohji set his drink down and rested his elbows on his knees so he could bury his face in his hands. After losing Asuka when the Riot case had gone to hell, he’d finally found the one thing to make him happy again and he’d thrown it away with both hands.

Yohji felt Aya shift over to sit beside him and a hand began rubbing circles soothingly on his back. “I’m sorry, Yohji. I didn’t know how to help you, but I should have tried harder.”

Lifting his head to look at Aya, Yohji said, “No, Aya. It wouldn’t have done any good. For some reason I couldn’t let Asuka go. She haunted my thoughts every waking moment. I was even having conversations with her. I think I truly had a nervous breakdown.” He tried to grin as if it were all a joke but failed miserably. “I guess it took a building falling on me to knock me back to my senses.”

He gave Aya a little self-deprecating smile before turning serious. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Aya. You didn’t deserve what I did to you.”

Aya brushed the hair back from Yohji face as he replied, “A lot of it wasn’t your fault, Yohji. I know that now. I guess I took the easy way out and walked away when I should have stood by you. I think we both made some serious mistakes.”

Yohji grasped Aya’s hand and held on to it tightly before he admitted, “I dreamt of you almost every night these past few years. I’d call out your name in my sleep. I never forgot you. Not really.”

“And I never once stopped thinking about you, worrying about you. The only reason I agreed to leave you behind was on the promise that Mamoru would watch after you.” Aya snorted in disgust and stood up. “We know how well that went.”

Aya walked over to look out the window, his manner a bit hesitant. “When I left the hospital after having it out with Mamoru, I left Japan as well to freelance. Most of the money I made I gave away. One day it seemed that things had finally caught up with me. As I sat there believing that I was dying, all I could think about was Omi, Ken and you. Mostly you. I remembered that day when we all fantasized about just driving away in the flower van.”

“What happened?” Yohji walked over to Aya, not sure what he’d do when he got to the window but needing to be near his old lover. He wanted to wrap his arms around him… but didn’t know exactly where he stood yet. Yohji was unwilling to raise his hopes up too much since Aya seemed to have backed away a bit, so all he did was stand next to Aya so he could watch him.

“Guess it wasn’t my time. I ended up helping a young boy and the two of us now work for an organization similar to Kritiker which is based in London.” Aya turned his head to look at Yohji. “Ken works for them, also. In fact, we’re part of the same team.”

“Ken? Really? You know, I always wondered why you sent Ken for your sword. If I’d had my memories then, I wouldn’t have let him take it. I promised to return it to you.” Yohji had spent many a night regretting that action.

“I didn’t send Ken. He decided that on his own, but I’ve always suspected that Mamoru was behind it.” Aya took a deep breath and turned to face Yohji. “I still kill, Yohji. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave that behind. Maybe someday, but not now,” Aya said softly and it seemed with a bit of regret

“Aya, I’d never ask you to do so. I don’t think I can leave that part of me behind, either. I… killed someone the other night. It was me or him and I chose me.” Yohji took a deep breath. “I’m not the same as I was when we were working at the academy. I don’t know if it was a blessing or a curse, but losing my memories seemed to have allowed me to divorce myself from whatever was inside of me that was destroying my mind. And let me tell you, I’m no fucking good as a salaryman,” he said, trying to lighten the mood after their depressing discussion.

Getting a slight smile from Aya at that comment, Yohji dared to ask, “If you now live in England, what are you doing here?”

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Aya started at the question. He wasn’t prepared for it and hesitated at the answer. Aya should have known Yohji would ask eventually, but he’d stubbornly refused to think about it in the foolish hope that it would never materialize.

Wondering if he should make up something, Aya looked at Yohji’s face and stared in surprise at the hopeful yet vulnerable expression upon it. All the masks that Yohji usually hid behind were completely gone, leaving the blond looking younger and more handsome than Aya could ever remember, even as battered as he was. Yohji’s expressive eyes were completely without guile and Aya found himself moving toward him to gently rest his hands upon Yohji’s face.

“I came back to see you,” Aya admitted in almost a whisper, afraid that if he spoke too loud he’d cause Yohji to disappear. He watched Yohji’s eyes widen in surprise then saw the spark of hope ignite in them.

Yohji took a deep breath, opening and closing his mouth twice before he finally said, “But you didn’t know that I’d gotten my memories back. In fact, you must have been on your way before all of this happened.”

Aya nodded. “I was on a plane two days ago. A friend convinced me to come see you and figure out if there was any chance for us.”

“What? What do you mean, Aya?” Yohji’s put his hands over Aya’s as if afraid that Aya would pull away.

“What do you think I mean?” Aya asked as he tried to extract himself from Yohji’s grip. He was no good at this shit, he thought. Why couldn’t Yohji just automatically know what he meant? But that really wasn’t fair to Yohji. He couldn’t read minds and Aya had never before tried to make their relationship deeper than that of steady fuckbuddies, even though they’d shared the same room for the better part of a year.

Aya succeeded in getting his hands free to rub his stinging eyes. He could feel Yohji’s gaze upon him as he opened his eyes and looked back. Aya couldn’t deny that right now he felt happier and more alive than he had since the two of them had parted. Why he had to fall in love with a fickle, vain, playboy of a man, he had no idea. But fell he had. And hard.

“Yohji, I…” He was so fucking horrible at words. Giving up, he instead pulled Yohji to him and kissed him with all the love and pent up passion he harbored for the blond. He felt Yohji stiffen in surprise before strong arms wrapped around him and Yohji began to participate wholeheartedly in the kiss.

Aya felt more than heard the deep groan of satisfaction from Yohji as their kiss dragged on and tongues teased each other. He let his hands drift up to tangle in blond locks the same time he felt Yohji’s hand sweep under his shirt to caress his back before nails lightly scaled down his spine. He shivered in delight at the action, his breath hitching as he broke the kiss to breathe.

Yohji took the opportunity to kiss his way down to Aya’s neck, where he began to suck. The contact sent bolts of lust through Aya’s body, pooling in his groin. He missed this so much. It had been too damn long since he’d felt this burning desire. Only for Yohji had Aya ever felt like this.

Aya used the hold he had on Yohji’s hair to drag his lips back up to Aya’s. He nibbled the full bottom lip before licking teasingly all over both of them. When it seemed Yohji had enough of the teasing, Aya felt a hand hold his head steady while a bold tongue swept inside his mouth. No crevice was left unexplored until finally that firm muscle came to tangle with Aya’s own tongue. Aya pulled his back so he could suck on Yohji’s tongue, causing a lovely moan to come from the blond. He let his tongue return back to play as he lowered his hands to the tie of Yohji’s robe.

When Aya finally freed the knot, he swept the garment down Yohji’s shoulders so he could stroke his hands everywhere he could reach. Caressing muscled back, toned chest and stomach, tweaking pert nipples and finally he wrapped his hand around Yohji’s erect cock. He’d never thought to feel it again and savored the silky skin encasing a hardness that he ached to have in him again.

Aya ended the kiss and looked deep into Yohji’s eyes, though ringed in bruises, didn’t detract from their beauty. There was something there that he almost understood but was afraid to acknowledge in case he was wrong. “I want you, Yohji.”

Yohji groaned again and swooped down for another kiss while he worked at Aya’s belt and pant fastenings. Soon he was naked from the waist down as Yohji led them to the bed, never ending the kiss. They pulled apart when Yohji tugged Aya’s shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Yohji paused as he cupped Aya’s face between both hands and softly said, “I want you too, Aya. I’ve never wanted anyone half as much as I want you.”

They met halfway this time, as if to seal their words with a kiss. Their hands never stopped moving, always touching as they reacquainted themselves to the other’s body. Aya tipped them to the bed and somehow ended up underneath Yohji, which he wasn’t going to complain about when that amazing mouth was spreading kisses and licks down his neck and chest, pausing frequently to nibble or suck on patches of skin and firm nipples.

Aya found himself moaning when that mouth tormented one peak while deft fingers teased the other. He gasped and arched his back when Yohji bit down a little hard then soothed sore flesh with his tongue. The reaction when Yohji did it to the other side was no less intense.

Yohji kissed his way further down, his tongue teasing Aya’s navel before going lower. Aya gripped the duvet tightly in his hands when he felt a raspy tongue glide over his erection and he cried out loudly, “Yohji!”

Aya looked down at his lover to see green eyes locked on his as Yohji held Aya’s dick in one hand while the other cradled his sac, rolling the balls within. As Yohji engulfed his cock in a hot mouth, Aya closed his eyes at the contrasting feeling of the slight roughness of Yohji’s tongue when compared to the silky softness of the inside of his mouth. Yohji knew just what Aya liked, deep-throating him only to pull back and have just enough of his cock in Yohji’s mouth to play with, then to repeat the process all over again.

“Yohji, wait… stop… I can’t…” Aya tried to warn Yohji that he couldn’t take much more. It had been too long since the last time Yohji had given him head and Aya couldn’t last much longer. Instead of backing off, Yohji increased his efforts to bring Aya off, even rubbing his sensitive perineum, pressing where he knew Aya’s prostate would be stimulated.

With a loud inarticulate cry, Aya’s orgasm crashed through him, setting off what felt like electric pulses through his body and bright lights behind his eyelids. Aya felt hands rub soothingly over his sweaty skin, a soft kiss to his over-stimulated cock then Yohji was next to him, pulling Aya into his arms to be cradled tightly. Aya kept his eyes closed; just savoring the fact that he was in Yohji’s arms again after enjoying such a powerful orgasm.

After a while, Aya looked up at Yohji, who was staring at him with a contented smile. He reached down and stroked Yohji’s half erect cock. “Why didn’t you stop when I warned you?”

Yohji smiled and said, “I missed the taste of you. And I kinda hoped maybe we weren’t done yet.”

“What about your headache?” Aya asked, concerned that Yohji might still be in pain.

“My headache is a dull roar and will fade even more if I’m distracted. But if you’re too tired…?” Yohji asked with a challenge in his eyes.

For an answer, Aya pushed Yohji onto his back and began kissing his way down until he reached Yohji’s impressive erection. Snaking his tongue out for a taste, Aya savored the bitter flavor that he used to so enjoy. Yohji groaned when Aya sucked on the head while his hand pumped the length. As much as Aya would have loved to bring Yohji off with a blow job, he wanted to feel that thickness inside his body once more. It had been far too long and all he’d had were memories to get him through the past years.

Kissing his way back up Yohji’s body, Aya lay on top of him and began kissing him, deeply and passionately. They had so many lost years to make up for. Aya threaded his hands into Yohji’s hair as he continued to devour those lips.

“Yohji, I want you… in me.” Aya pulled back to look into Yohji’s lovely green eyes.

He watched Yohji nod and say, “Me too, Aya. I want to bury myself in you, feel you tight around me. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you, too. So much.” Aya leaned down to kiss Yohji again.

Aya suddenly found himself on the bottom once more and spread his legs to let Yohji nestle between them. He wrapped his arms and legs around Yohji, pulling him even closer as their tongues explored and danced. Aya could feel his cock becoming erect once again and kissed his way to Yohji’s ear.

“Fuck me, Yohji.”

Yohji pulled back and looked deep into Aya’s eyes as he shook his head as if trying to clear it. “We need something… lotion or…”

“In my bag I have a bottle of lube.” Aya didn’t like the sudden closed look on Yohji’s face and felt that he had to explain. “I… my hands, they’re calloused so I always pack some lubricant.”

Yohji’s expression changed to one of mild amusement. “Oh, so this is your jerk-off stash?”

“Hn. It’s a proven fact that men should masturbate at least five times a week to help avoid prostate cancer.” Aya could have smacked the man when he laughed.

“Doesn’t having sex count?” Yohji nibbled Aya’s earlobe.

Aya closed his eyes in pleasure; he’d always loved when Yohji did that. “If you’re having sex it does.”

Yohji lifted his head, a surprised look on his face as he opened his mouth. Aya placed a finger over it saying. “Enough. Make up your mind, sex or talk. You don’t get both.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll go get the lube.” Yohji got up and Aya shivered at the loss of his warmth, but admired the sleek muscles of Yohji’s back and ass as he moved away from the bed and then admired something else when Yohji returned. As always when he thought about it, he was amazed that something so big could feel so good filling his ass. His cock twitched and ass clenched in response to imagining that organ filling him again after all the time that had passed.

“Hurry, Yohji.” Suddenly Aya didn’t want to be patient any longer. Even though he’d already gotten off once, he was extremely horny and in desperate need to have Yohji pounding into him. Experiencing the ecstasy that only Yohji had ever given him.

“Okay, Aya, whatever you want.” Yohji knelt between Aya’s legs as he opened the bottle to coat his fingers. Yohji poured some just above Aya’s hole and he felt Yohji spread it around before pushing a single finger inside. Aya groaned and closed his eyes to better focus on what Yohji was doing; slipping and sliding a finger in and out then pushing another into his body.

“More…” Yohji pushed a third finger inside at the plea and Aya held his breath, adjusting to the slight sting of being stretched so fully. Even though Aya had contemplated buying a dildo or vibrator, he’d just never gotten around to it. His own fingers never really penetrated enough to feel as good as what Yohji’s felt like right then.

“Yohji!” Aya nearly screamed when those fingers twisted and pressed against that spot. Lights flashed behind his eyelids as the intense feelings pooled in his groin. “Now!”

Aya could hear Yohji’s panting breaths as the man pulled his fingers away and coated his cock. Yohji leaned forward on one arm while his other hand helped to guide his cock to Aya’s hole. Aya could have cried in happiness when he felt the head nudge his entrance. Only a few seconds more and…

A loud knocking on their door had them breaking apart, both of them flushed and breathless. Another round of knocking had Aya jumping from the bed to grab the gun before throwing on Yohji’s discarded robe and rushing to the door.

Who the hell could it be? Aya asked himself. He didn’t think Yohji had been followed and there was no way Mamoru or Nagi would come here and risk Yohji. Maybe the doctor was a leak. Aya had just gotten to the door when he heard the lock disengage and the door slowly began to open.

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