Wool and Leather

If I were to fall in love with you,
would that change anything about myself?
If I were to tell you how much I want you,
would that make you love me back?
What more can I do for you?

Haru groaned and opened his eyes, feeling slightly disorientated. He had slept poorly the previous night. Something weighed on his thoughts, heavy and foreboding. He stood and staggered out to the bathroom, yawning loudly. As he went about his morning routine getting ready for school, he began to feel as if something were corroding away at his insides. It was like he was plummeting downward through a deep lake with weights tied to his ankles. He walked with Hiro to and from school every day now. He did enjoy being with Hiro, but he was constantly worried about Black Haru. Hiro was certainly intelligent for his age. However, could he truly understand the danger he was in? He came so close to losing it that time, it even scared himself. Usually he was able to keep a tight hold upon his black side. The more time he spent with Hiro, the more his black side stirred restlessly inside of him. It was a uneasy feeling, having something like a second person living inside you. He shuddered, not wanting to think about it anymore. He had accepted Black Haru, and had lived with it for sixteen years already.
“ Morning.” Hiro greeted him as he arrived at the gate. Haru smiled and took hold of his hand. He wasn't too worried about holding Hiro's hand in public. Hiro was so small compared to him, he could have been his younger brother in elementary school for all anyone knew, which also made his situation even more perverse.
“ Haru.” Hiro said quietly as they made their way down the deserted streets. It was just beginning to become light out, and they were early this morning.
“ Yes?” Haru glanced down at Hiro, who stared ahead blankly. “ What am I to you?” Haru paused in mid step. He never expected a question such as that from Hiro. He wasn't even sure that Hiro understood the situation enough to even ask that of him. He stopped and sighed, frowning slightly.
“ I like you.” Haru said, even though his heart longed to word that sentence differently.
“ You like me.” Hiro let his hand fall from Haru's grasp. “ You're afraid to say it, aren't you?” He said quietly, gripping the strap upon his bag tightly.
“ Hiro.” Haru gave a sigh and continued walking, unable to face him.
“ Why do you keep treating me like a child?!” Hiro shouted from behind him.
“ Because you are a child!” Haru turned furiously, his temper rising dangerously.
“ It's not like you're so old, Haru! You're only sixteen.” Hiro sneered, glaring up at him. “ Don't act like your always so wise! You're full of it!”
“ I may not be old, but you are still younger than me.” Haru said, feeling Black Haru give a stir. “ What you don't seem to understand is that this could get bad.”
“ What's bad about it?” Hiro said, his lower lip quivering slightly.
“ The fact that I...” Haru shook his head, staring down at the pavement. “ Want you so badly this way...It isn't right.” He felt disgusted with himself as he spoke.
“ Then what do you want to do about it.” Haru looked up at Hiro, raising his eyebrows at the words. “ Are you just going to kick me to the curb then?”
“ Hiro...You don't understand...Black Haru...I can't control myself around you.” Haru felt his insides clenching with guilt.
“ Don't make excuses. If you don't want to be around me then why don't you say so?” Hiro said, his voice quivering.
“ This isn't an excuse!” Haru shouted, surprising himself. “ I wont hurt you! I can't! If I do, I'll never forgive myself.” There was a long silence. The two boys glared at one another through the glow of the morning sun. A light breeze picked up, ruffling Hiro's caramel hair.
“ Then do what you want to me...I don't care.” Hiro whispered, averting his gaze.
“ No.” Haru shook his head, completely exasperated with the situation. “ You don't want it.”
“ Yes I do.” Hiro said bluntly, making Haru even more frustrated.
“ Just...Let's stop okay? This isn't good for either of us.” Haru turned away from Hiro, unable to stand the look upon his face.
“ So that's it then?” He knew Hiro was crying from the sound of his voice. He knew he had done irreversible damage. He had to do this now, or else he would just hurt him even more than he already has. “ Fine, Haru.” He listened as Hiro's footsteps disappeared down the street.
“ Damn it!” He shouted into the silence of the morning. Letting his black side go, he brutally punched into a tree, putting a large dent into it and cutting his knuckles. He turned and walked back down the street, massaging his bleeding fist, with no intention on going to school whatsoever.

The week dragged on, seeming as if it might never end. The days seemed endless now as Haru sat at his desk, staring out the window like always. He hadn't seen Hiro since that day, and he couldn't deny that he missed him dearly. He reached into his shirt and pulled out the necklace, surveying its blue color in the light of the sun. He was becoming somewhat depressed. He regretted what happened between them, but it was for the best. His impure thoughts of Hiro hadn't stopped, but at least he didn't have to worry about acting on them anymore.
“ Hatsuharu-san?” Haru snapped out of his daze and looked up at Tohru, who was standing over him looking concerned.
“ Huh?” Haru blinked and stared up at her.
“ Well, today is Friday and all...I was thinking you might want to come with us?” Tohru said, gesturing towards Kyo and Yuki.
“ Where are you going?” Haru asked. He couldn't care less actually, but he thought it might be good for himself to get out and do something other than sit in his room and sulk.
“ We're going to go see the new Mogeta movie. You want to come along?” She smiled down at him, looking somewhat nervous.
“ Sure.” Haru sighed, and returned to observing the sky.
“ Mogeta! I wanna come! I wanna come too!” Momiji called from his desk. Tohru nodded and waved at him.
“ See you two after class.” Tohru said, gathering up her lunch box and heading out the door. Haru gave another sigh and glared down at the necklace in his hands. It's blue color reminded him all too much of tears.

The movie had turned out to be a disaster. Kyo and Yuki got into a fight, disturbing all the other people in the theater. Momiji got a stomach ache from eating too much salty popcorn, and Tohru slipped and fell, twisting her ankle. Haru ended up having to turn into an ox just so they could carry her back home.
“ I'm so sorry Hatsuharu-san.” Tohru whined from upon his back.
“ It's alright. I don't mind.” He said that, though the children laughing and pulling at his tail made him feel otherwise.
“ Look mommy! A cow! Can we ride it?!” A little girl tugged at her mom's arm and pointed towards him. He snorted and increased his pace. He wasn't a carnival ride for crying out loud.
“ Does it hurt much, Honda-san?” Yuki asked, walking beside them.
“ No! I'm sorry!” She cried, shaking her head.
“ We're almost there.” Kyo said, frowning. “ At least Haru's useful for something.” Haru ignored the comment and kept walking.
“ I still feel sick.” Momiji groaned, trailing behind them. Once they reached Shigure's house, Yuki and Kyo helped Tohru inside, careful not to embrace her. Shigure giggled as usual at seeing Haru in his ox form, and tugged at his ear gently. Haru waited outside beside his cloths, waiting to change back into a human. He stared up at the sky, feeling tired. It was taking longer to change back this time. He figured that his recent depression lead to this. With a loud pop he changed back and scrambled to get dressed. He didn't want to be bothered by Shigure, and it seemed as though there was no reason for him to stay so he lifted himself off the ground and began heading home. He had enough excitement for one day. He found himself thinking of Hiro as he stared up at the fiery sky. The sunset cast an eerie orange glow onto the streets. It had a strange calming effect on him. He wondered what Hiro was doing at that moment. Could they be watching the same sunset together? He had the overwhelming urge to burst through Hiro's door and beg him to take him back even though he'd been a real ass. He shook his head and continued on, trying to forget those memories. Though with the pendant around his neck and close to his heart, he knew forgetting would be impossible.

Hiro reorganized his bookshelf for about the fifth time that day. He was frustrated and cleaning seemed to calm him somewhat. He sat back, admiring the perfect alignment of his books. He found that he was left with an empty feeling, no matter what he did. He used to take pride in his perfect book collection, and his finished homework. Now it all seemed dull to him. He always liked being the age he was. He could always get away with things because he knew he was cute and just a kid. But now he found himself wishing he were older. It was then he realized the restraints of being a child. He hadn't given much thought to it before, but now it plagued him more than ever. If only he were older, he would be with Haru right now instead of sulking in his room.
“ Hiro sweetie, dinners ready.” He heard his mother call from the other side of his door.
“ No thanks, Mom. I'm not hungry.” He called back, seating himself on the floor still glaring at his bookshelf.
“ Let me know if you get hungry later.” She said. He listened as she descended the stairs and shuffled back into the kitchen. He felt a single tear roll down his cheek, and that was all the rest needed. He gave a sniffle, not bothering to hold back his tears. He reached out and began taking the books off the shelf once more, preparing to organize them again.

The bullying had started again. It came back worse than before. Instead of being beat up once a week, it was once a day, sometimes even more.
“ Hiro. You have to stand up to them.” Kisa sighed, bandaging his arm. “ Please, Hiro.”
“ Why don't you go to Shigure's house. That woman is waiting for you.” He wrenched his arm from her grasp and stood, brushing the dirt off his shorts.
“ Hey!” Hiro jumped and nearly dropped his bag. One of the boys that Haru had saved him from was approaching him. “ No body guard today?” He glared down at Hiro through a sheet of sleek black bangs. “ Are you fighting your own fights now?”
“ What do you want?” Hiro sighed, returning his glare.
“ You know the overpass down by the river?” Hiro nodded, getting an uneasy feeling. “ Be there in an hour.”
“ Why?” Hiro raised a brow.
“ I told the guys you ain't a chicken...Unless you are?” The boy taunted, grinning at him.
“ I'm not.” Hiro frowned up at him, shifting his weight. “ I'll go.”
“ Who knows, you might fit right in.” The boy shuffled off down the street. Hiro could hear him chuckling to himself the whole way.
“ Hiro, don't go.” Kisa said, grasping his sleeve. “ You know they are just going to hurt you.”
“ You said it yourself...I have to stand up to them.” Hiro said, staring at the ground.
“ Please, Hiro...” Kisa looked up at him, her tears brimming her eyes.
“ Tohru is waiting for you.” Hiro said, brushing her off and heading down the street. Kisa stood in a panic, looking up and down the street. She turned and ran down the street as fast as she could back home. She hurried through the gates and came to a halt outside Haru's house, knocking frantically upon the door.
“ Kisa?” Haru opened the door slowly and stared down at her, scratching his head.
“ Haru! It's terrible.” She panted, regaining her breath. “ The bullies...Hiro he...”
“ What? What's wrong with Hiro?! Where is he?” Haru had already begun to slip on his boots as she began to finish her sentence.
“ Down by the overpass...He said he had to stand up to him. You have to help him! All they are going to do is beat him up!” Kisa cried, her knees quivering with fright.
“ Wait here.” Haru called to her as he hurried down the path and out the gates.

Hiro fell to his knees, feeling a foot drive into his back and push him into the grass. He didn't have a chance to count how many boys were there, as soon as he arrived he had been punched across the face and had fallen to the ground. He heard at least five different voices above him.
“ Where's your body guard now, huh?” He heard someone hiss in his ear as he felt a foot collide with his stomach. He coughed and desperately tried to regain his breath. He felt someone grab his hair painfully and slam him up against the concrete wall of the overpass. He could clearly hear the rumble of cars above him, and the laughter of boys behind him. If he took the beatings, they might stop. He started as he felt a hand upon the hem of his shorts. He tried to look back but his face was still being held into the concrete. He began to struggle, trying to push whoever was holding him down off him.
“ Tie his hands.” He heard from behind him. He let out a muffled cry as he felt his wrists being tied together tightly. He felt his shorts being wrenched down to the grass. He let out another cry as he felt hands all over him. Up his shirt and across his backside. He knew Haru wouldn't save him this time. He choked back a sob as tears began to fall down his cheeks. He closed his eyes and just waited for it all to be over. He stopped struggling and went limp against the wall, the tears still pouring down his cheeks. He gasped as he heard a shout. The hands binding him to the wall let up immediately and he fell down into the grass. He shakily turned, seeing two boys running down the street and three frozen with horror standing in front of him.
“ Didn't I tell you...” He recognized Haru's voice as he looked up. Haru's eyes were ablaze with hatred. Hiro had never seen such a look for feral anger upon the ox's face before. Was this the Black Haru everyone had talked about? The Black side that Haru had feared would ascend when they were together? “ I told you...If you ever touched my cousin again, that I would rip you all to pieces.” He spat, cracking his knuckles. Haru reached out and grabbed one of the boys by the front of his shirt and slammed him into the wall just beside Hiro. The boy let out a cry of pain as Haru seemed to be forcing him into the wall. Hiro heard the sickening crack of bones as the boy let out another cry. Haru threw him to the ground easily and began to advance on the other boys. “ Get out of here before I kill you all!” The boys let out terrified screams and ran back up the hill and out of sight. As Haru turned to him, Hiro gasped and struggled to stand. He didn't like that look in Haru's eyes. He felt his back hit the concrete wall behind him and he knew he was trapped as Haru slowly walked towards him. He flinched as Haru reached out to him, but settled as Haru reached behind him and began to untie his wrists. As his hands were untied, Hiro didn't even have the strength to pull his pants up or button his shirt. He couldn't even curl in a ball to cover his exposed skin. He looked up at Haru and was surprised to see that the look of fury in his eyes had turned to that of pain and sadness. Haru lifted him from the wall and pulled his shorts up for him, and began to button his shirt.
“ Did they touch you anywhere?” Haru asked quietly, taking off his coat and wrapping it around him. Hiro shook his head, more tears falling down his cheeks. “ Good...” Haru turned and knelt. “ Get on, I'll carry you home.” Hiro pulled Haru's coat around him tighter and shakily stood. Haru carried him upon his back carefully up the hill and down the street. He felt warm inside of Haru's coat, and his tears had stopped completely. His body hardly ached anymore, and he felt tired. He rested his head upon Haru's shoulder and closed his eyes, falling into a calm, healing sleep.


Kisa and Haru stood beside Haru's bed, watching as Hatori bandaged Hiro carefully. Hatori stood with a nod and began repacking his bag.
“ Will he be okay?” Kisa asked, looking frightened.
“ Don't worry. He's only sleeping. He should be fine after a few hours rest.” Hatori said as he headed for the door. “ Keep an eye on him.”
“ We will!” Kisa called after him. Haru watched as Hiro slept peacefully. The bruises upon his face and arms made his heart ache. He felt sick with self loathing for letting this happen. “ Are you alright?” He turned and stared down at Kisa.
“ It's my fault...” Haru whispered, grasping Hiro's tiny hand in his. “ I left him alone...If I had been there none of this would of happened.”
“ Haru...” Kisa frowned and stared up at him. “ Will you two be alright?” She asked, standing and straightening her uniform.
“ Sure, why?” Haru let go of Hiro's hand and blushed slightly.
“ Tohru was expecting me an hour ago.” Kisa hurried to the door and waved to him. “ I'll come by later.” She said as she disappeared around the corner. It was then that Haru understood why Hiro had said those things. Why he hated Tohru. Because even when he had been beaten to a bloody pulp, Kisa still wouldn't stay by his side. Even when she was hurt when he had gone to Akito, he stayed by her bedside in the hospital for days as she recovered. He felt almost sorry for Hiro.
“ I could tell she was dying to leave...” He started as he heard Hiro speak.
“ Are you in any pain? I can get Tori-nii to come back.” Haru asked quietly.
“ No...” Hiro said softly, turning to his side and staring at the wall. “ I'm sorry.”
“ What for?” Haru stood and seated himself upon the bed, staring at Hiro's bruised back.
“ Making you go out there...Taking your bed...” Hiro sighed, closing his eyes. Haru could see a single tear streak down his cheek, glistening in the sunlight. Haru ran his hand up Hiro's back, carefully avoiding the bruises. He sighed and lay beside Hiro, blocking his view of the wall. He slipped beneath the covers and pulled Hiro towards him, holding him gently. “ Haru...” He could feel Hiro trembling in his arms. “ I was scared...That you wouldn't come for me.”
“ I'm sorry...It's my fault...” Haru ran his hand through Hiro's hair, and brushed his lips against Hiro's forehead. He closed his eyes and held Hiro against him as he cried. Every quiet sob Hiro gave was like a hammer to his heart. Haru lay like that until Hiro fell asleep, hours later. He watched the lamb sleep, his small chest slowly moving up and down as he breathed in and out. At that moment, Hiro seemed so frail, as if he might break with the slightest breath. Haru carefully slid out of bed and crept to the door. He closed the door just as he heard the front door unlock.
“ Oh, Hi sweetie.” His mother looked up at him and smiled brightly, slipping off her shoes.
“ Hiro is here. Is it alright if he stays the night?” Haru asked, standing awkwardly above the stairs.
“ Of course.” She said, sounding distracted. He sighed as she hurried into the other room and began talking frantically on the phone. He headed back into his room and sat at the foot of the bed, glaring at the closed door. He listened until his mother stopped talking and went to bed. He wasn't sure how many hours he sat there for. All he did was think. Just how much did Hiro mean to him? Haru sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He would do everything he could to prevent from Hiro getting hurt like that again.